Pregnancy BUMP&baby issue 4 by BUMP&baby

PREGNANCY

t he food is su e

& baby

ISSUE 01

100 foods to try for morning sickness

IS ‘PREGGY BRAIN’ REAL?

50 WAYS

Recipes to satisfy your cravings

TO MAKE YOUR BABY SMARTER

Why you need iron and omega-3 What to eat, what to avoid

In f u ll

m o o l b

HOW TO:

EXPRESS BREAST MILK WANT BETTER BABY-MAKING SPERM? ARE YOU FRIEND-ZONING YOUR PARTNER?

P M U B G N I W O R G R U O Y

On-trend

NURSERY ACCESSORIES + BABY SLEEPING BAGS + PRAMS + COOL GEAR

Ready?

Set?

Go!

The ride is about to start and what the future holds – no one knows. One thing is for sure, the ride will continue as your baby grows and learns. Making sure they get the best start in life is your goal, and it’s ours too. There’s so much to think about, you’ll have so many questions. The good news is advice and support is there for you 24/7 from PlunketLine. Whether it’s about breastfeeding, how to settle your baby when they’re crying, or you’re worried about the “baby blues” a PlunketLine nurse is always available. Our nurses are highly qualified and trained to deliver our free service, and are there to support you and your baby’s health and happiness. Whatever the time of day or night, your call is free from any phone in New Zealand. PlunketLine is also multi-lingual, and you don’t need to be a Plunket client to use it.

0800 933 922

[ save the number to your contacts ]

plunket.org.nz facebook.com/PlunketNZ/

Free 24/7

from any phone in NZ

In the first 1000 days we make the difference of a lifetime | Whanau awhina

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Keeping your little ones safe & secure in and around the home this Winter. Dreambaby’s extensive range of products are designed to not only help make your home safer, but also to make life easier for you and your family. Whether it’s in the kitchen, bathroom, car or out and about, your mind will be put at ease with these award-winning safety gates. Available in babycity stores nationwide or online at babycity.co.nz/dreambaby

When safety meets awardwinning brand. Brooklyn Converta Play-Pen Gate F2031 RRP $209

Dreambaby’s extensive range of products are designed to not only help make your home safer, but also to make life easier for you and your family. Whether it’s in the kitchen, bathroom, car or out and about, your mind will be put at ease with these award-winning safety gates. Available in babycity stores nationwide or online at babycity.co.nz/dreambaby www.ptpa.com

Mayfair Converta 3-in-1 Play-Pen Gate F2020 RRP $199

Broadway Gro-Gate F898 RRP $89

Trust us with the l o v e of your life For over 40 years, we’ve provided more than full and part time care and education for babies, toddlers and preschoolers – we’ve provided a Kindercare family where we keep children safe, we share their discoveries, we guide their enquiry and we fill their days with love and fun. At Kindercare, you’ll discover: • A culture of kindness that fosters respectful care • Creative, flexible environments where learning happens through play • Specialised baby care – filled with sensory experiences • Skilled, responsive teachers who know and love your child • Home-cooked meals, active outdoor time and calm rest periods

se Becau en childr r matte

Call us or pop in for a visit and let’s see how we can help you. Locations in Auckland, Christchurch, Hamilton and Wellington

0508 546 3372 or visit www.kindercare.co.nz

Natural Baby Care Nourishing organic calendula gives baby’s skin the loving protection it needs, making it naturally more resilient. It’s the perfect way to promote healthy looking skin from the very ﬁrst day. Available from weleda.co.nz, selected online retailers, health stores and pharmacies

Weleda - In harmony with nature and the human being

weleda.co.nz

#weledanz

CONTENTS

PREGNANCY

Issue 04

QUICK FIX

LOVE YOUR LIFE

HELLO! A few words from our editor

JUST BUMPED INTO… New and noteworthy gear, research, and info for mums and bumps

WHAT WE’RE READING Books for mums and bumps

CASUAL ENCOUNTERS Chic and cosy wardrobe staples

138

SUBSCRIBE AND WIN Get two issues for only $26

DIRECTORY Shop ’til you pop COVER PHOTO MICHELLE ROLLER (MICHELLEROLLER.COM @MICHELLEROLLERPHOTO)

STYLE NOIR On-trend maternitywear for stylish mums-to-be

THE LAST WORD Little sayings to make you smile

PREGNANCY

t he food issue

What to eat, what to avoid

IS ‘PREGGY BRAIN’ REAL? WANT BETTER BABY-MAKING SPERM? ARE YOU FRIEND-ZONING YOUR PARTNER?

BUMP ING GROW YOUR

On-trend

JUST SAY OM Yoga is the perfect preggy exercise

THE ASSURANCE OF INSURANCE Why now’s the time to get covered

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BABY SMARTER

Recipes to satisfy your cravings Why you need iron and omega-3

bl oom

I’M CRAVING… Healthier options for feeding the bump

baby

100 foods to try for morning sickness

In fu ll

SKINCARE LOTIONS AND POTIONS Some beauty really is skin deep

HOW TO: TAKE THE PERFECT PREGGY SELFIE Tips from NZ’s “it” mummy blogger

142

New Zealand’s Pregnancy Magazine

HOW TO:

EXPRESS BREAST MILK

NURSERY ACCESSORIES + BABY SLEEPING BAGS + PRAMS + COOL GEAR

ON OUR COVER

"It" blogger and social influencer Isobel Benesch (@belandbeau) shows off her gorgeous bump. Check out her article "How to: Take the perfect preggy selfie" on page 52.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

CONTENTS

CONCEPTION & PREGNANCY

BETTER BABYMAKING SPERM Getting his swimmers in tip-top shape

10 COMMON FERTILITY MISTAKES Are you guilty?

100 THINGS TO EAT WHEN YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS That says it all, really

YOUR PREGNANT BRAIN: PART 1 Morning sickness, pregnancy nose, and mummy brain

FINDING AN LMC YOU LIKE Connecting with your midwife or OB/GYN

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

PROTECTING YOURSELF AND YOUR BABY Immunisations for pregnant mums

ARE YOU FRIENDZONING YOUR PARTNER? Intimacy in a time of indigestion

LABOUR & BIRTH

BIG BROTHER, BIG SISTER, BIG TROUBLE? Helping toddlers bond with newborns

50 SHADES OF POO Far more colourful than that movie

100

DECODING YOUR BABY’S CRIES What they’re trying to tell you

104

EXPRESS YOURSELF Your guide to pumping breast milk

110

ONE MILK, TO GO, PLEASE Breast pumps and accessories

112

WHAT DOES BIRTH FEEL LIKE FOR YOUR BABY? An insider’s guide

Learn to express yourself

WHAT TO DO (AND NOT DO) DURING LABOUR This one’s for the dads-to-be

LABOUR PREP Get ready for a stress-less birth

104

I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT! Time management for new mums

116

TINY SPACES Nifty new nursery accessories

FIRST SIX MONTHS

120

COUNTING SHEEP Sleeping bags and gowns for cosy nights

122

WHAT YOUR BABY WANTS YOU TO KNOW ABOUT SLEEP Throw out the rule book

126

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON How to survive an outing with your baby

130

TIME TO GO, BABY! Prams and other cool stuff

132

50 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BABY SMARTER Simple ideas you can do together S wim b

et w

BUILDING YOUR BABY’S BRAIN Why omega-3s are good for you

Q+A: WHY YOU NEED IRON A little pill goes a long way

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WHAT TO EAT (AND AVOID) DURING PREGNANCY Getting the nutrients you need

YOUR NEWBORN

Growing up healthily. Inspired by

For children’s healthy development we give our all. There is nothing more precious than a new baby. That is why every NUK product incorporates decades of research and experience. We want to give the healthy development of children our best possible support, so we work closely with doctors, midwives, nutrition experts and, of course, the real experts: generations of parents and children. It is therefore only fitting that NUK feeding and oral care products are available at leading baby stores and pharmacies throughout New Zealand. Find out more at nuk.net.nz NUK is a registered trademark of MAPA GmbH, Germany Distributed in New Zealand by Rumina Natural Care Ltd, Auckland Freephone: 0800 333 006 - email: info@rumina.co.nz

NUK. Understanding Life.

Available at: selected baby stores and pharmacies, including

FIRST TRIMESTER

SECOND TRIMESTER

SHOW TIME

STRETCH MARK

Pants ge�ng snug? Breasts sore? Comfort desired?

THERAPY

Stretch marks? Thighs chaﬁng? Extra belly support?

THIRD TRIMESTER

POST DELIVERY

BUMP

SHRINK SHOP

BOUTIQUE

Heavy belly? Achy back? Bladder relief?

Lose that belly? C-Sec�on recovery? Back support?

SLIM & SHAPE

HAPPILY

EVER AFTER

Want extra shaping? Suppor�ve baby feeding? Bye-bye muﬃn top!

For informa�on on how we can help before, during and a�er pregnancy, go to

www.bellybandit.co.nz Distributed by Rumina Natural Care Ltd - Freephone 0800 333 008

HELLO!

PREGNANCY

Editor's note

Issue 04

Available from selected retailers or visit bumpandbaby.co.nz to subscribe. PUBLISHERS Tony and Aana Marinovich tony@bumpandbaby.co.nz aana@bumpandbaby.co.nz EDITOR Katherine Granich editor@bumpandbaby.co.nz ART DIRECTOR Emma Henderson design@bumpandbaby.co.nz ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES Tony Marinovich tony@bumpandbaby.co.nz ONLINE ENQUIRIES digital@bumpandbaby.co.nz social@bumpandbaby.co.nz PREGNANCY BUMP&baby PUBLISHED BY TOTS TO TEENS PO Box 70 Level 1, 190 Main Road Kumeu, Auckland 0841 New Zealand The Media Barn 91 Moontide Road Kumeu Auckland 0892 New Zealand T: +64 9 412 5123 F: +64 9 412 5133 ONLINE bumpandbaby.co.nz facebook@bumpandbabynz instagram@bumpandbabynz pinterest@bumpandbabynz tiktok@bumpandbabymagazine JJ COLE BUCKET TOTE, RRP$180, BABYFIRST.CO.NZ FOR STOCKISTS A good nappy bag is well worth the price − and this roomy number lets you organise your baby paraphernalia with ease. With 13 pockets and in easy-clean canvas, you'll be the most stylish mum at coffee group.

WE LOVE IT!

Find us at facebook.com/bumpandbabynz for giveaways, helpful tips, cool products, latest news, and advice from other mums-to-be.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

PRINTER OVATO Limited Pregnancy BUMP&Baby ISSN 2463-283X is published bi-annually (2 issues per year) The opinions expressed and statements made in Pregnancy Bump&baby are those of the contributors and advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Pregnancy Bump&baby, on behalf of itself and the authors, asserts copyright on all material appearing in Pregnancy Bump&baby and none of it shall be reproduced wholly or in part without the prior written consent of the publishers. The publishers reserve all rights in respect of all material received and accepted for publication. Pregnancy Bump&baby reserves the right to edit or abridge all articles, letters, or other material (solicited or otherwise) accepted for publication. While every care has been taken in the research and compilation of this publication, it is not intended to replace professional or medical advice. To the best knowledge of Pregnancy Bump&baby, all information herein is correct at the time of publication. Please contact your healthcare provider in the first instance for medical assistance and advice.

EDITOR'S PHOTO: NIGEL MARPLE • CLOTHING BY BREASTMATES BREASTMATES.CO.NZ

New motherhood is hard work, whether it's your first baby or your third. Sometimes the best thing you can do, particularly after a rough day − or even right smack in the middle of a rough day − is sit down with your baby and have a cuddle. Yes, I know you've got a tonne of stuff to do, and there may be a part of you that thinks, "I don't have time to cuddle this baby right now!" But I know from experience that sitting down and gathering that warm little bundle up in your arms is seriously stress-relieving. For both of you. Autumn and winter are an especially delicious time of year for babies, because the chill in the air means you have even more reason than usual to snuggle with them. Seeing our adorable little test babies all bundled up in the sleep gowns and sleeping bags we tried out for one of the features in this issue was simply enchanting and aww-inducing. My own six-month-old daughter was one of our test babies, and I confess I wished for a grown-up version of the sleeping gown she was wearing. Although upon further reflection, a drawstring bottom may be a challenge when I need to get up in the wee hours to tend to her... But at least we'll both have warm toes when we're having our middle-of-the-night, stress-relief-guaranteed cuddle!

PICK UP YOUR FREE COPY AT THE LIBRARY, DAYCARE, PLUNKET, KINDY, OR SCHOOL, OR VISIT TOTSTOTEENS.CO.NZ AND SIGN UP TO RECEIVE OUR WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTER!

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Childhood in New Zealand

How to choose

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Dancing through life

NZ'S MOST INFORMATIVE PARENTING MAGAZINE

Magic in

Marlborough smart shots

Changes to theGreat ideas for immunisation schedule helping Kiwi mums

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Special education: Finding help for

high-needs children

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and dads to make their families' lives as Write healthy and happy on! Getting as they can. kids to put pen to paper

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LEGO Duplo, REV RACERZ, KIDS' GAMES, zuru, specsavers, & more!

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Just bumped into… The latest news, info, and gear for stylish mums, bumps, and babies Go

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HAVE YOU HEARD OF CMV? Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is a common viral infection which causes a flu-like illness in adults. Up to 85% of people have been infected with CMV by the time they’re 40, and it’s usually a minor illness – but for pregnant mums the effects can be much more severe, causing problems for the unborn baby. CMV is common in young children, so women who are in close contact with youngsters, like mums who already have children or childcare workers, are at higher risk of contracting it. The most effective preventative measure against CMV infection is handwashing with soap and water, particularly after feeding children, wiping noses, handling toys, or changing nappies. Avoid kissing children on the mouth, sharing toothbrushes or drinking vessels and cutlery, and don’t reuse tissues.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Breastfeeding mums, an emoji just for you is coming! The addition of a breastfeeding emoji was requested by University College of London Hospital registered nurse Rachel Lee last year in a proposal she submitted to Unicode, the creator of the emoji keyboard. The nursing mum is one of a 51 new emojis released as part of the Unicode-10 update coming 30 June. And for mums-to-be with morning sickness: A vomiting face emoji is coming too (yay?). But don’t fret, bottle-feeding mums: There’s already a baby bottle emoji.

AN OTAGO UNIVERSITY STUDY

FACT

of 1,034 women age 25 to 50 discovered that despite a third reporting that they monitored their ovulation, only 13% could identify the time they were most fertile.

NOTEWORTHY

FACT

In Western societies, th e average a ge of girls g etting their first pe riod has dro pped from 17 to 13 years ov er the past ce ntury.

Di d y o u k n o w

When babies are born, they have 300 bones – some of which fuse as they grow, so eventually they’ll have 206 bones (the number adults have).

THE WEE SMALL HOURS Up in the middle of the night – every night – needing the loo? It might not be due simply to your baby resting on your bladder. Scientists in Japan have discovered that high amounts of salt in your diet can cause nocturia, or the excessive need to wee in the night. Reduce your salt intake and the wee small hours may just become the small hours – and you may sleep better too.

PROBIOTIC POWER A joint study between the University of Auckland and Otago University has found that a common probiotic used in yoghurt can reduce the risk of pregnant women developing gestational diabetes. Lactobacillus rhamnosus (HN001) was given to 194 women from early pregnancy, while 200 women received a placebo. Gestational diabetes was assessed at 24-30 weeks of pregnancy, and 6.5% of women in the placebo group were found to have it, versus 2.1% of women in the probiotic group, accounting for a 68% reduction. Previous research has found that the same probiotic reduced eczema in infants by 50%.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

We’re crushing on…

BELLA BUTTERCUP NAPPY CLUTCH Featuring a mini-wood attachment or tassel, the nappy clutch will help entertain and distract your baby while they’re getting changed! Perfect for your handbag, they come in four colours. You don’t have to use them for a nappy clutch, you know – they’re just gorgeous for all your little bits and pieces too!

Early first periods linked with gestational diabetes Women who experienced their first period aged younger than 12 years is linked with an increased risk of developing gestational diabetes, new research has found. A study of over 4,700 Australian women showed a number of correlations between the age of first period and socioeconomic background, adult obesity, and also a 50% higher likelihood of developing diabetes during pregnancy. Supporting healthy environments and behaviours in children from a young age, and particularly working to prevent childhood obesity, may help.

RRP$42 without attachment, RRP$52 with attachment, from bellabuttercup.com.au

TE REO FOR TINY TOTS Dunedin’s Kirsten Parkinson and Kitty Brown from Reo Pēpi (reopepi.co.nz), Aotearoa’s newest bilingual publishers, have recently created three gorgeous board books perfect for reading aloud to little ones. Rua Series 2 explores the essentials of early childhood education with Te Kaute: Counting, Ngā Āhua: Shapes, and Ngā Tae: Colours. Readers are taken a step forward with these early concepts and te reo.

214,000

IS THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THE HUMAN RACE GROWS BY EACH DAY. 14

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

$17.99 each or $53.99 for a boxed set, they’re a gorgeous gift.

NOTEWORTHY

MOTHERHOOD ONSCREEN Two first-time single mothers, one a taxidriver and girl racer, the other a pianist and gardener, share a room in a postnatal ward after the birth of their babies. A precarious friendship develops between the two, and as they face the challenges of new motherhood, they must also confront their pasts and face the truth of the paternity of their newborn babies. The Great Maiden’s Blush explores motherhood and the intense life-changing experience of the first few days of being a parent. The film took 18 years to bring to the screen and has just been released on DVD after a long-running national theatrical release beginning in May last year. $35 from torchlightfilms.co.nz

FACT

WORLD IRON AWARENESS WEEK 1-7 MAY Did you know you need two to three times more iron than usual during pregnancy? An iron-rich diet, including plenty of lean red meat and leafy greens, can help you meet the added demands of pregnancy. And don’t forget about iron stores – these are like savings in the bank. Low iron stores in early pregnancy can lead to iron deficiency later on. Find out more at ironweek.co.nz

The more social support a mum has, the higher birth weight her baby tends to be. The correlation between the two isn't perfectly understood, but mums with a reliable squad may be less stressed and more likely to sleep better, eat better, and make other lifestyle choices that improve their baby's birth weight.

BABY BOXES NOW AVAILABLE IN NZ Kiwi charity BabyStart has become the first New Zealand organisation to produce a version of the baby box – a Finnish tradition dating back almost 80 years. Constructed from cardboard and manufactured locally, the box contains around 40 items ranging from clothing and nappies through to a book and toy. In addition, it contains a fitted mattress and bedding which allow it to be used as a baby’s first bed, much the same as a bassinet. The concept originated in Finland in 1938 and was initially only for disadvantaged families. In 1949 it was made universally state funded and now around 40,000 boxes are distributed at no cost to Finnish babies every year. In New Zealand, BabyStart focuses on providing the boxes at no cost to babies in need via midwives and LMCs. $750 each and your purchase buys one box for you and one for a family in need. Visit babystart.co.nz to find out more.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

NOTEWORTHY

ETHICAL FASHION FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY

WORLD’S FIRST CONTRACEPTIVE APP The world’s first (and only) health app to be certified as a contraception for women with no side-effects, Natural Cycles (naturalcycles.com/en) aims to make monitoring your ovulation cycle more straightforward. By logging just a few vital signs, the app’s powerful algorithm can help predict crucial fertility windows, pregnancy, or even potential miscarriages. Clinically tested to be 99.5% effective, with a clear, intuitive design, it’s easy to use and science-based – one of the founders of the company was part of the Nobel prize-winning team that discovered the Higgs boson.

20 MINS FITNESS

ASK US ANYTHING HOW DO I TELL WHETHER MY C-SECTION SCAR IS HEALING NORMALLY? IT’S A FEW DAYS POSTSURGERY AND I’VE NOTICED A LOT OF BRUISING AND LITTLE BLOOD BLISTERS ALONG MY SCAR. SHOULD I BE CONCERNED? ~ McKenna Answer: Your C-section incision should be mostly healed within a week or two of your surgery. However, some mums experience an infection or complications. Your midwife or LMC should be checking your incision at each visit, but there are also some things you should look out for. If you are running a fever or the skin around your incision becomes red, feels hard or painful, or starts oozing, contact your LMC straightaway.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

FOR BUSY MUMS Time-poor mums looking for post-birth core strengthening and toning will want to try EMS training. One to two 20-minute EMS sessions a week is what it takes to train and strengthen your body, giving you the same effect as a conventional 60-90 minute workout. EMS stands for Electro Muscle Stimulation, and this effective form of training uses low-frequency impulses to intensively stimulate all of your major muscle groups and deeper layers of muscle. Based in central Auckland, it's a real timesaver for busy mums. Find out more at funisemstraining.co.nz

When it comes to fashion, how do you know which brands to trust? How do you know that the new outfit you bought for your baby wasn’t made by children in unsafe factories overseas? Kiwirun charity Tearfund is bringing us the answers in the form of New Zealand’s first Ethical Fashion Guide. The Guide features wellknown Kiwi and international fashion brands and their ethical ratings, from A to F. Find out the grade of your favourite brand at tearfund.org.nz/ethicalguide

® MERINO KIDS the natural choice

BABIES SLEEP BETTER IN MERINO ALL YEAR ROUND

Superfine merino keeps baby warm when it’s cold and cool when it’s hot. The Merino Kids Go Go Bag is the number 1 recommended baby sleep in NZ because of its superior quality, functionality and ability to help babies self settle. Ensure that your baby sleeps safely and soundly with the Merino Kids Go Go Bag!

www.merinokids.co.nz | info@merinokids.co.nz | 09 361 6941

BOOKSHELF

t Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to

Another, by Emily Writes (Random House $35) The popular blogger gives words of encouragement to sleep-deprived parents everywhere. She describes the frustrations as well as the tender moments of real parenting through her signature humorous style.

t The Happiness Equation, by Neil Parischa

(Vermilion $30) What’s the formula for life? What began as a 300page love letter to the author’s unborn son sharing the nine secrets to finding true happiness, this book will change how you think about your time, career, relationships, family and, ultimately, your happiness.

t Mindfulness for Mums and Dads, by Dr Diana

Korevaar (Murdoch $29.99) This book is the big, gentle, reassuring hug stressedout parents and caregivers need. Anxiety impacts not only on ourselves, but also on our children, and the author gives practical and proven strategies to help you calm down and connect.

t 9 Months to Crochet, by Maaike von Koert

(Quarto $19.99) With specially chosen projects to correspond to each trimester, allow the naturally calming rhythms of crochet to relax you while creating a beautiful set of baby and nursery items with a unique personal touch to welcome your little one.

t Scummy Mummies, by Ellie Gibson and

Helen Thorn (Quadrille $16.99) No matter how much we love our kids, or how good we are at parenting, everyone’s a scummy mummy sometimes. This book is for anyone who’s ever dealt with poo in the pool, cleaned up sick in the supermarket, or gone to an important meeting without realising there’s food stuck to their bum.

t Craving: Eating Well throughout Your Pregnancy,

by Sandra Mahut (Murdoch $39.99) 80 pregnancy-friendly recipes, divided into trimesters, with each trimester’s recipes specifically designed to reflect how your taste and appetite change throughout pregnancy.

t I Did I Love I Am Family Notebook, by Jo Petersen

(ididiloveiam.co.nz $34.95) This gorgeous book provides a wonderful place to record all of the glorious “things kids say”, as well as keep track of photos, events, holidays, birthdays, and special family memories. A great gift for parents-tobe as it goes beyond a baby record book and lets the whole family participate.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Need more time?

The latest thoughtprovoking and relevant books for expectant mums and new parents

Parents-to-be looking for help organising their lives should check out these three new self-help books.

What we’re reading Getting a Grip on Parenting Time, by Robyn Pearce (gettingagrip.com $35) Time management specialist, mum of six, and grandmother of 17 Robyn Pearce has tips and suggestions to help parents feel encouraged and empowered.

I Don’t Have Time, by Emma Grey and Audrey Thomas (Exisle $29.99) Underneath all our obligations and the things we ought to do lie the things we want to do, the things that really matter. This book shows just how much you can get done when you prioritise yourself and what's really important.

Juggling in High Heels, by Lisa O’Neill (Random House $45) When are you at your best? Through thoughtful self-evaluation, Lisa shows us how to manage the key elements to having a balanced life: Mind, body, relationships, money, and work.

SUBSCRIBE & WIN

We have the most amazing magazine subscription offers, including beautiful pregnancy packs and chances to win great prizes.

Yay, you’re pregnant! Choose from the following: Single issue hard copy or digital copy

Digital copy pregnancy bundles

2-issue subscription and PeekaBox combo

Subscribe at

BUMPANDBABY.CO.NZ 20

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

FIND IT ALL AT OUR MALL BATHING BOOKS & MAGS CLOTHING FEEDING & NURSERY PL AY & LE ARN FERTILIT Y HE ALTH & WELLNESS NAPPIES & CHANGING NURSERY OUT AND ABOUT SAFET Y SKINCARE SLEEP TEETHING & DUMMIES

GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED, WITHOUT LEAVING THE HOUSE Home to Kiwi mums’ favourite brands, BUMP&baby Mall (bumpandbabymall.co.nz) is your one-stop baby shop. PREGNANCY

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Seriously, none of these guys have the missing piece. Help!

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

STRONG SWIMMERS

Better baby-making sperm Wannabe dads aren’t just there for the main event – the health of his sperm affects your pregnancy, too. Here are some ways he can ensure his sperm is in better shape so that your chances of conceiving are even better.

Kick butt

If he’s a smoker, he needs to stop, now. Smoking causes low sperm motility (slow-moving sperm) and low sperm counts, as well as causes damage to healthy sperm. And timing matters, too – as it takes his body about three months to produce sperm, the changes he makes today won’t be fully realised for another three months. So if you’re planning to get pregnant, he needs to quit smoking at least three months beforehand, so you can ensure his swimmers are as healthy as possible for their big job.

Cut down coffee

Studies have shown that sperm count and numbers are reduced in men who drink lots of caffeine. So if your partner can’t get through the day without several coffees or energy drinks, he needs to cut down to about 300mg a day (about three servings). Yes, caffeine withdrawal is hard to deal with – but in the long run, it’ll be better for his sperm.

Avoid alcohol

Like caffeine, he doesn’t have to give it up completely, but he does need to cut down on alcohol consumption. Research has shown that alcohol reduces sperm production and can also cause sperm abnormalities. A beer after work is fine, but heading out to the pub for a night of drinking is not.

Ditch the doobies

Marijuana and other drugs also need to stop, as they not only damage sperm, they are also more likely to cause miscarriage. If you need advice on how to help him quit doing drugs, visit drughelp.org.nz, pothelp. org.nz, or methhelp.org.nz – all are run by the New Zealand Drug Foundation and can give specific and useful assistance to partners and users.

Lose those extra kgs

If he’s overweight or underweight, this can also negatively affect his sperm (not to mention the effects on your sex life if his libido is suffering). Pre-conception is the perfect time for him to get his weight to a healthy level, and exercising and eating healthy are the best ways to do this.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

STRONG SWIMMERS

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Mind his meds

Before trying to conceive, review your partner’s medications – supplements, regular prescriptions, occasional over-the-counter drugs, vitamins, herbal supplements, antidepressants, etc. Check with his GP about whether any of the medications he takes could affect his sperm, and whether there are any fertilityfriendly alternatives he could consider if he needs to take medications for particular reasons. But don’t just stop taking regular meds – definitely check with the GP first.

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Get a checkup Cool down

You may have heard the advice about men who are trying to conceive avoiding putting their laptops on their laps, and wearing looser underwear instead of tighty-whities – and it seems to be grounded in fact. When men’s testicles overheat, whether through having something hot (like a laptop) on his lap, wearing tight and unbreathable clothing, and spending time in steam rooms, saunas, or spa pools, this overheating can interfere with sperm production. So put that laptop up on the desk rather than in his lap!

Reduce stress

This is often easier said than done, but stress can increase the number of abnormal sperm as well as reduce overall sperm numbers, so it’s important your partner gets enough rest and does stress-reducing activities like exercising, taking a holiday, shutting off his phone, and generally just chilling out.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Schedule an appointment with his GP to get him a full checkup, with fertility in mind. Be prepared to talk about (and accept suggestions for improvement of) his weight and BMI, medications (as mentioned above), exercise, overall health and wellbeing, any genetic or inherited disorders or conditions that might pose any risks to your future children, smoking and drinking, and other lifestyle factors which may affect his health and your potential pregnancy. If he needs any immunisations, like the flu jab, whooping cough booster, or chicken pox vaccination, have him talk to his GP about these too.

Steer clear of toxins

If he works with heavy metals, chemicals, solvents, or other toxins, or if he handles them on the weekend (like weed killer and fertiliser), be aware that exposure to these can increase the percentage of damaged sperm. If it’s possible for him to avoid these while trying to conceive, that’s the best option – but if he can’t avoid them, have him wear a face mask, protective clothing, and appropriate PPE to avoid contact.

Up his folate

Folic acid is important for dads-to-be as well as pregnant women, as studies have shown that men with lower levels of folic acid in their diets have higher rates of abnormal chromosomes in their sperm. He can get more folate (400mg a day) with a supplement or by eating foods like leafy green vegetables, beans, citrus fruits, whole grains, and folate-enriched foods like bread, pasta, and cereal.

Natural help for couples wishing to conceive Getting pregnant can be the most natural thing in the world – but for some it’s a test of nerves. Here are some key factors: A question of values? In order to successfully complete their journey from the epididymis to a woman’s eggs, sperm are dependent on a neutral to slightly alkaline environment. They become immobile and die in acidic environments. A woman’s vaginal pH is acidic at 4-4.5 pH on most of the days of her cycle in order to prevent infection. However, during her fertile days it should lie at 7-7.5 pH offering sperm the ideal conditions for making their journey to the egg.

Can His Sperm Swim? Approximately 20% of young healthy men are affected by poor sperm quality. In order to conceive in a natural way the man must have progressively motile sperm cells. If there is a low number, or none, the chances of conceiving naturally are greatly reduced. Test the man early in the baby project and have him on-board as part of the journey. SwimCount is a home test which allows you to get a reliable answer on your chance of conceiving by measuring sperm cells’ ability to swim – known as motile sperm. With a 96% accuracy, when compared to a microscopy, it provides you with results as per World Health Organisation thresholds.

Experts have established that, in 20-25% of all couples trying for a baby, too acidic a pH could be responsible for compromised fertility. Prefert Vaginal Gel Containing natural arabinogalactan, an antioxidant obtained from larch wood helps protect sperm and keeps them vital. Thanks to its pH of 7.2, it optimises the vaginal pH during a woman’s fertile days and its osmotic properties guarantees maximum sperm movement. Prefert Vaginal Gel contains no parabens and is free from silicone oil (dimethicone). It is also odourless, neutraltasting and does not stain. Prior to sexual intercourse, Prefert Vaginal Gel is released into the vagina. The gel is water-soluble, binds to the vagina’s natural secretions and also provides a welcome lubrication during sexual intercourse. One pack contains 4 x 6 ml units and is sufficient for up to 4 cycles.

Vaginal Gel

Pay attention to timing Knowing a woman’s fertile days is helpful for couples wishing to conceive. This includes the day of ovulation and the day before. Women can identify their fertile days by the assistance of LH (Luteinizing Hormone) Ovulation Kits to identify the ‘LH Surge’ and by regularly measuring their temperature and monitoring their cervical mucus. Around the time of ovulation, a woman’s temperature rises by approx. half a degree and her cervical mucus becomes clear and thick. Some women also experience a dragging sensation in their abdomen, so-called ovulation pain. All signs that the chances of conceiving are good! (We recommend EasyCheck Ovulation Kit),

See to lubrication Sex on command can quickly become stressful. Often, this leads to vaginal dryness. Lubricants provide relief and make scheduled sex a pleasurable experience. However, couples wishing have a baby should abstain from using conventional lubricant gels from the chemist or supermarket on their “best fertile days” as these can hamper sperm motility due to their acidic pH values. Prefert Vaginal Gel has been developed especially to use on fertile days for couples wishing to conceive. Other lubricants such as Animé can be used on non-fertile days as the pH value of this lubricant and its excellent moisturising properties help maintain vaginal health.

phoenixmedcare.co.nz

common fertility mistakes Are you having sex often enough, or too often? What about timing? When are you ovulating, anyway? Here are some common fertility mistakes couples make when trying for a baby.

DOING IT ONLY ON OVULATION DAY

Even if your menstrual cycle is every 28 days like clockwork, you may ovulate a day or two before or after the day you expect. And even if you’re ovulating on day 14, sperm can live inside your body for between 24-48 hours and even longer in some cases. Once you’ve worked out when you’re likely to ovulate, start having sex about four to six days prior to ovulation, and continue for four to six days post-ovulation to increase your chances of conceiving.

STRESSING OUT

When you want to get pregnant and it’s just not happening, and everyone around you is telling you to “Just relax, it’ll happen!” and “As soon as I stopped worrying, I got pregnant!” Getting stressed about stress is even worse than being stressed about conceiving! But cortisol, the stress hormone, can negatively affect your ovulation and fertility, so you really do need to calm down. Easier said than done, right? Meditate, do yoga, indulge in a spa day, try talk therapy, and if things still aren’t happening, it’s time to see a specialist.

SAVING UP SPERM

You may have heard the one about how men should abstain from masturbation or intercourse until the all-important ovulation day, so he has a higher sperm count and is more fertile for doing the deed. Yeah, no. Men can’t “use up” all the “good sperm” prior to sex – it doesn’t work that way. Sperm can live for up to a week in the vagina, so you might be getting pregnant using “old sperm” anyway. And having regular sex can improve sperm quality. The more times a man ejaculates during his partner’s fertile window, the more sperm is available to fertilise the egg, and the higher the chances of conceiving.

Look, there’s never a “perfect time” to have a baby. Your bank account will never have enough money. Your career might take decades to be fully established. If you live in Auckland, buying a house might be a pipe dream. So stop trying to create the perfect moment. If you wait too long, you might not be able to get pregnant – or your chances of conceiving may be significantly reduced. If you feel ready to have a baby, then start trying.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Yes, you want to have sex at the time when your body is most likely to conceive – but don’t turn it into a regimented, every-singleday experience that you’re going through the motions of. Putting pressure on yourself and your partner to conceive can kill the buzz of trying to get pregnant, and can even make one (or both) of you feel resentful of the process. Plus, having sex every day can deplete your partner’s sperm count, so stick to every other day – and enjoy it! You don’t want your memories of conceiving to be stress-filled and negative.

5 6

WAITING TOO LONG TO TRY

MAKING SEX A CHORE

BEING TOO CLEAN “DOWN THERE

Please don’t douche or use vaginal perfumes and scented creams, either out of an effort to smell better, or as lubricants. Douches and other products can act as spermicides an alter the pH of your vagina, which impairs fertility. If you do want to use a personal lubricant, buy one that’s non-spermicidal – don’t just use the body cream you put on your arms and legs! Just don’t. Stick to au naturel. Your vagina knows what it’s doing.

7 8 9 EGG MEET SPERM

BEING OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT

Weight – hers AND his – does have a significant affect on your ability to get pregnant (and his ability to produce healthy sperm). Being overweight or underweight prior to pregnancy can also increase the risk of miscarriage and birth defects, so it’s vital that you and your partner are your healthiest selves when you’re trying to conceive. Eat healthy, exercise, and get your BMI under control – but don’t overdo it. Talk to your GP about what your healthy weight should be and make some goals for getting there.

HAVING A LAST HURRAH

It's tempting to live it up prior to trying to conceive, but drinking, smoking, and staying up all hours needs to stop at least a couple of months ahead of time so your body can be at its optimum level of health and wellbeing. Early pregnancy is a critical time in the development of your baby, so give a thought to the potential of getting pregnant and ease up on any wild ways.

NOT KNOWING WHEN YOU’RE OVULATING

Your best bet for getting pregnant is to have sex around the time you’re ovulating – and most women don’t know when this is. Ovulation occurs midway through your menstrual cycle, assuming you have a “regular” 28- to 32-day cycle. Generally, women ovulate 14 days before the beginning of their period, even if your cycle is irregular. So if your cycle is 26 days, you will ovulate at around day 12. It can be tricky if your period is irregular. Ovulation predictor kits can help you pinpoint your most fertile time, or download an ovulation app.

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The jury is out on… Positions

The ability to conceive decreases by 50% between the ages of 20 and 40, so if you’ve been trying for a baby and not succeeding, talk to your GP about whether it’s time to see a fertility specialist. It’s better to go sooner rather than later, particularly if you are over age 35. Also, if you have irregular periods, heavy or painful periods, you’ve had pelvic infections, endometriosis, or your cycle is shorter than 25 days or longer than 35 days, get thee to a fertility specialist.

Evidence hasn’t yet proven or disproven theories about what sexual positions will help you conceive, or what post-coital positioning might help sperm to find its way to the egg. Laying on your back with your legs up the wall may or may not do anything. Missionary-style isn’t better or worse than girl-on-top. So by all means, if you want to stand on your head after sex, do it – or not. We think the most important factor is whether you’re having fun!

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

100 things to eat when you have morning sickness When everything makes you vomit, what can you possibly eat? Frances McInnes of online maternity store Breastmates (breastmates.co.nz) offers some tried-and-true suggestions for foods which might help.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

EASE THE QUEASINESS

CHEWING GUM

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

BEANS ON TOAST

CHEESE ON CRACKERS

FROZEN JUICE ICE BLOCKS

T 14 EGGS

(hard-boiled or scrambled)

12 10

BLUEBERRIES

APPLE SLICES

ICED WATER WITH LEMON SLICES

he phrase "morning sickness" is a misnomer, as this queasy feeling can (and does) strike at any time of the day during pregnancy. Many mums-tobe experience morning sickness throughout the day, at different times and for different reasons. The meat aisle in the supermarket might set you off one day, and the next morning brushing your teeth makes you gag. It might comfort you to know that morning sickness generally eases off in the second trimester (by week 18 of your pregnancy, and your appetite should return. The unpredictability of morning sickness can cause many a pregnant mum to feel like she can't trust any foods to stay where they belong after she eats them. So if you're suffering from morning sickness, what can (and should) you eat? Here are some ideas of some stomachfriendly foods to try when morning sickness rears its ugly head, all recommended by mums who've been there. One or two of these tried-and-true suggestions (like pizza!) may surprise you, but hopefully you'll feel like you have options.

GRATED GINGER ROOT

MINTED PEAS

15. Applesauce 16. Almond butter 17. Almonds 18. Apple cider vinegar 19. Apple juice 20. Avocado 21. Bagels 22. Baked tofu 23. Bananas 24. Barley sugar candies 25. Bread sticks 26. Brioche 27. Candied ginger 28. Cashew butter 29. Celery with hummus dip 30. Cereal 31. Cheese pizza 32. Chicken broth 33. Chicken nuggets 34. Chicken soup 35. Cornflakes 36. Cottage cheese 37. Crackers 38. Cucumber slices 39. Custard 40. Digestive biscuits 41. Dried apricots 42. Dried mango 43. Dry breakfast cereal 44. Egg fried rice 45. Fennel seeds (to chew) 46. Fruit popsicles 47. Gelato 48. Ginger beer or ginger ale 49. Ginger tea

5 6 ANISE TEA

50. Gingerbread 51. Gingernut biscuits 52. Grapefruit 53. Grapes (frozen or fresh) 54. Ice chips 55. Ice cream 56. Iced green tea 57. Jelly 58. Lemon drops 59. Lemon sorbet 60. Lemonade 61. Lettuce 62. Lollipops 63. Macaroni cheese 64. Mandarins 65. Milk 66. Milk toast 67. Mints 68. Oatmeal biscuits 69. Oranges 70. Peppermint tea 71. Plain boiled rice 72. Plain chicken breast 73. Plain pasta 74. Plain rice crackers 75. Plain toast 76. Plain yoghurt 77. Porridge 78. Potato chips 79. P otatoes (boiled, mashed, baked) 80. Pretzels 81. Pumpkin soup 82. Quinoa 83. Raisins 84. Raspberries 85. Raspberry leaf tea 86. Rice cakes 87. Rice pudding 88. Risotto 89. Rockmelon

EASE THE QUEASINESS

LEMON WEDGE

(for sucking on or sniffing)

STRAWBERRIES

90. Smoothies 91. Soda water 92. Sour lollies 93. Sports drinks 94. Sugar snap peas 95. Tinned fruit salad 96. Tinned peaches 97. Vitamin B6 98. Warm milk 99. Water 100. Watermelon

8 POPCORN

IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT YOUR MIDWIFE OR LEAD MATERNITY CAREGIVER (LMC) ARE YOUR BEST FIRST SOURCE OF INFORMATION, AND IF YOU FIND YOUR MORNING SICKNESS IS SEVERE OR IT IS AFFECTING YOUR ABILITY TO FUNCTION, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LMC OR DOCTOR STRAIGHTAWAY. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Could those weird pregnancy symptoms be all in your head? Science says maybe so!

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

MIND MATTERS

Your Pregnant Brain: Part 1 What happens to your brain when you’re pregnant? Jordan Gaines Lewis, a Neuroscience Doctoral Candidate at Pennsylvania State University, talks about morning sickness, “pregnancy nose”, and the dreaded mummy brain.

friend recently asked me, “Why have I become so forgetful since I became pregnant?” I told her I didn’t know, but that I’d look into it. She then followed with, “I was going to ask you to explain something else to me, but I totally forgot what it was.” It’s a common claim that pregnancy makes you forgetful. But does “pregnancy brain” actually exist? There’s no doubt that many changes happen to a woman’s body during pregnancy, but how do these changes affect – or originate in – the brain? To answer my friend’s question, and in an effort to address whatever else she was forgetting at the time, here is part one of my expectant mother’s guide to the crazy neuroscience of pregnancy.

MORNING SICKNESS More than half – perhaps even up to 90% – of pregnant women experience nausea or vomiting to some degree, particularly in the morning. Thrust into the limelight as a result of the Duchess of Cambridge’s hospitalisations, around 1% of pregnant women experience more severe, prolonged morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum, which can result in dehydration and weight loss, and may require medical attention. For most women, morning sickness goes away after 18 weeks. The cause of morning sickness isn’t entirely clear. The most popular theory is that morning sickness is the body’s reaction to the increase in the pregnancy hormone, human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). Studies have shown a temporal relationship between hCG and morning sickness, meaning that levels of hCG in the bloodstream and frequency of vomiting appear to peak at the same time. The correlation is interesting, but it doesn’t explain why morning sickness happens. We do know that the first three months (the first trimester) is an important time in foetal development. The central nervous system forms during this time, and this delicate process is easily disrupted by toxins circulating in the mother’s bloodstream. A more recent theory suggests that vomiting during early pregnancy serves a beneficial function by ridding the body of food that may unsettle this important developmental stage. Vomiting is controlled by an area in the hindbrain called the area postrema. Importantly, the area postrema lacks a blood-brain barrier, which means it can detect toxins in the bloodstream and cerebrospinal fluid. Research has shown that the area postrema Pregnancy BUMP & baby

MIND MATTERS

STRONGER SENSE OF SMELL

According to many women, a heightened sense of smell, called hyperosmia, is one of their earliest signs of pregnancy. Although anecdotes of hyperosmia have existed for a century, scientific literature on the topic is sparse. Subjectively, around two-thirds of women rate their sense of smell as stronger than usual while pregnant. Another study reported that, compared with women who aren’t pregnant, pregnant women are particularly sensitive to odours such as cooking foods, cigarette smoke, spoiled food, perfumes, and spices. A few studies have examined scent detection thresholds (the smallest volume of air that still results in odour detection) in pregnant versus non-pregnant women. But, in a study where six different scents were tested, there was no difference in detection threshold between the two groups. Given the inconsistency between subjective and objective reports on hyperosmia, research suggests that pregnant women don’t necessarily have a stronger sense of smell, but are perhaps better at identifying smells. A recent study found that pregnant women were more likely to rate a variety of smells as significantly less pleasant than non-pregnant women. Early in pregnancy – much like the body rejects foods that may be toxic to the developing foetus – it appears that women have a greater “disgust sensitivity” that motivates them to avoid other possible contaminants (why cigarette smoke and spoiled food may seem particularly pungent). As with morning sickness, there’s a link between the timing of hCG levels and when a woman’s odour perception changes. But it’s thought that these hormonal changes aren’t affecting our noses. When a Swedish

research group presented scents to pregnant and non-pregnant women and measured their brains’ responses, they found a larger amplitude and shorter latency in the P300 wave of pregnant women, a voltage change (thought to reflect neural processes) related to a person’s assessment and evaluation of an event. This suggests that hormonal changes may be acting on higher-order cognitive processes related to our perception of odours.

THE QUESTION ABOUT FORGETFULNESS

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While a number of women – like my friend – complain that pregnancy has made them more forgetful than usual, the research on this topic is mixed. Like most changes that occur during pregnancy, hormonal fluctuations are an obvious possible culprit. Some women report no cognitive changes during pregnancy. A 2008 meta-analysis reported that, compared with women who weren’t pregnant, pregnant women perform worse on some measures| of memory. In particular, pregnant women tend to perform worse on working (short-term) memory and free recall tasks. In a study published in 2014, researchers in the UK administered a spatial recognition memory task to non-pregnant women, as well as to women during each trimester of their pregnancy. Compared with their first trimester, pregnant women scored, on average, 11.7% lower on the memory tasks with each subsequent trimester. When the researchers compared memory test scores to levels of six different hormones measured from blood plasma, however, there was no association – in other words, hormones may not be playing a role in these memory deficits. Interestingly, a 2008 study reported a decrease in neurogenesis, or birth of new neurons, in the hippocampus of mice during pregnancy. The hippocampus is involved in consolidation of short-term to long-term memory, as well as spatial navigation, such as remembering where you parked your car. Similarly, an earlier study showed no differences in brain sizes between pregnant and non-pregnant rats except for the hippocampus. The hippocampus was smaller in pregnant rats, and also related to deficits in spatial memory. No studies have imaged the brains of pregnant woman to examine potential changes in the human hippocampus, though. Some have postulated that sleep deprivation or the new-found stress of dealing with a major life change could contribute to absentmindedness during pregnancy. Some research suggests that there’s a cultural expectation at play, as the popular concept of “pregnancy brain” may simply make women more aware of their everyday slip-ups. A change in daily routine with a new pregnancy might disrupt some women’s memory abilities, too. Although there’s a lot we don’t know about all the crazy changes that happen during pregnancy, one thing is clear: Babies do a great job of making their presence known well before they come kicking and screaming into the world.

COMING UP IN BUMP & BABY ISSUE 5: YOUR PREGNANT BRAIN PART 2, WHICH COVERS CLUMSINESS, CRAVINGS, AND MOODINESS! 34

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

REPUBLISHED FROM THE CONVERSATION (HTTPS://THECONVERSATION.COM/WHAT-HAPPENS-TO-YOURBRAIN-WHEN-YOURE-PREGNANT-MORNING-SICKNESS-SMELL-AND-FORGETFULNESS-50235).

has receptors for hCG, which may explain why it’s particularly sensitive during pregnancy. This “toxin theory” is supported by several pieces of evidence, including the fact that morning sickness is more common in societies with “risky foods”, that it only occurs in humans (we have very broad diets, after all), and that more severe morning sickness is associated with lower rates of miscarriage. Many women also naturally tend to be more “turned off” to eating meat, fish, and certain plants during this time. Of course, these so-called toxins are really not toxic at all to healthy adult women, and the placenta does a superb job of filtering out waste and fighting infection. Rather, morning sickness is likely more associated with foods prone to microorganisms in the times before refrigeration (like meats), or bitter vegetables, the taste of which signalled “poison” to our early human ancestors. It’s a sensitive system, and despite how crappy it makes pregnant women feel, morning sickness probably provides an evolutionary advantage for the baby’s development.

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Try Gaviscon to get relief from the burning pain of heartburn. For more information, visit www.gaviscon.co.nz

1. Strugela et al. JIMR 2010; 38: 449-457 – clinical study with Gaviscon Liquid – financial sponsor RB. 2. Mandel et al. Ali. Pharm. Ther. 2000; 14: 669-690 – review. Always read the label and use only as directed. If on a low sodium diet please refer to product label for sodium content. Medicines can affect the unborn baby. Always consult your doctor or pharmacist before taking any medicine during pregnancy. If symptoms persist consult your healthcare professional. Reckitt Benckiser, Auckland. TAPS DA 1703DB.

WHAT'S UP DOC

International Day of the Midwife

5 May

For pregnant mums, a good relationship with your LMC – that’s shorthand for “lead maternity caregiver” – is vital. Here’s how to choose an LMC you connect with.

regnancy is a journey, and your LMC is your trusted guide. But choosing a midwife or obstetrician isn’t simply a matter of trial and error. A national midwife shortage means that midwives are in hot demand and can book up early, and with obstetricians, if you are paying to engage their services, you have a vested interest in ensuring you are confident of their care. So it’s important that you find an LMC you feel understands and supports you, and one whose philosophy and practice resonates with your personal beliefs around childbirth. Here are five important qualities you should look for in an LMC.

COMMUNICATION What kind of communication do you need? Do you like a lot of details and information, or do you prefer to be told only what you really need to know? Be upfront with your LMC about the kind of communication you prefer, and find out whether he or she is able to provide what you need. Midwives are very busy, so it’s not always possible (nor desirable) to be able to text them at every hour of the day or night – but you should have a clear understanding of when you can expect to hear from her, when you should get in touch with her, and what to do if she can’t be reached. With obstetricians, you may not have a “direct line” to them in order to ask quick questions or raise immediate concerns, so be certain you understand what the protocol in with regard to communicating – do they have a nurse you can ring to ask questions of? What do you do when the office is closed but you’re concerned about something?

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Finding an LMC you like SAFETY

INFORMATION

Feeling safe is one of the most important aspects of birth, and it’s your LMC’s job to facilitate a safe environment for you to relax and be comfortable in. Part of ensuring your safety is also requiring you to attend regular check-ups, making recommendations about testing you may wish to consider, and referring you to specialists if complications arise. An LMC who takes safety seriously is important, as you can be certain he or she has your and your baby’s best interests at heart.

Pregnancy is a time of immense change, and even if you have already had a baby before, best practices and standards can change a lot, even in just a few years. As research uncovers new information about what is safest and best for you and your baby, you want an LMC who is up-to-date on what’s happening in their field and can translate that into giving you the best care possible. Your LMC is a great source of information about pregnancy, labour, and birth, and you should feel comfortable asking questions and getting the answers you need. You should never feel rushed or dismissed.

CONSISTENCY Ideally you want to see the same LMC throughout your pregnancy, labour, birth, and in the postnatal period. Your midwife should have a back-up, whom you should meet in case your midwife is unavailable for some reason. Find out about continuity of care – is she planning a holiday near your due date? What happens if your labour is long and she needs to leave to get some sleep? What if she has another mum in labour at the same time? With an obstetrician, you may get the luck of the draw depending on who is rostered on when you go into labour – unless you’re having a planned Caesarean, when you should know in advance who will be in attendance. Again, ensure you are familiar with the other doctors at your obstetrician’s practice, so you know who might be delivering your baby if he or she isn’t available.

RESPECT Finally, it’s important that you feel respected, and that your cultural beliefs are honoured and integrated into your care. Your beliefs around testing and interventions should be taken into account. Talking with your LMC should be a two-way conversation – your LMC shouldn’t be telling you how it is going to be, but listening to what you want and being open and honest with you about what is safe, possible, and practicable. If you are having a Caesarean, you may have less options, but you should still have a say in things like skin-to-skin contact, your partner cutting the cord, lowering the drapes when your baby is born, etc. Birth is a unique experience and every labour and birth is different, so you want an LMC who respects your individuality.

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tip Invest in a good pair of maternity jeans which will fit your bump better and take you comfortably through all the stages of pregnancy.

STYLE tip Don't be afraid to show off your bump in fitted styles. They're gorgeous on and will make you feel much better than if you're wearing something oversized and ill-fitting.

tip Choose tones of the same colour for a put-together look that's polished without being matchy-matchy.

STYLE

tip Layer up different textures and materials for a versatile look that suits you through pregnancy in any season.

tip Jumpsuits are comfy and keep everything covered up and warm when it's cold outside. No worries about your bump being unexpectedly exposed by an errant breeze!

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Casual encounters Stay effortlessly chic with these comfortable and cosy cold-weather wardrobe staples.

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Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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Skincare: Lotions & potions Sometimes beauty really is skin-deep. Check out these brilliant new skincare products, perfect for pregnant mums whose skin needs nourishing and even a bit of TLC.

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1. Atzen Balance Bio-Active Complex SPF15 RRP$139 2. Tailor Renew Probiotic Serum RRP$69 3. Manuka Doctor ApiClear Facial Moisturising Lotion RRP$35.95 4. Elizabeth Arden Advanced Ceramide Capsules Daily Youth Restoring Serum RRP$150 5. Atopis Acne Prone Skin Cream RRP$39 6. Atopis Dry Itchy Skin Relief Cream RRP$39 7. Atopis Anti-Aging Cream RRP$99 8. SKIN by ecostore Manuka Lip Balm RRP$9.99 9. SKIN by ecostore Replenishing Night Cream RRP$26.99 10. SKIN by ecostore Rejuvenating Body Moisturiser RRP$19.99 11. SKIN by ecostore Nourishing Hand Cream RRP$19.99

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Gentler and safer for baby and the whole family

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All the ingredients in our plant & mineral-based products are carefully selected to ensure they’re safer for you, your family and our planet, without compromising on performance.

ecostore’s ultra sensitive range is fragrance-free and designed for anyone with allergies or extra sensitive skin – perfect for babies and children. Available in laundry, dish, cleaning, body wash, hair care, hand wash and soap.

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How to: Take the perfect preggy selfie New Zealand's own "it" blogger and social influencer Isobel Benesch of belandbeau.com shares her secrets for styling and photographing your own maternity shoot.

Check out instagram.com/bumpandbabynz for more gorgeous pics and tips from Isobel! 52

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

PICTURE THIS

ocumenting your baby bump is the perfect way to forever capture the special moments and memories of pregnancy that both you and your child can look back on years later. You may not have the time or energy in your third trimester to do a professional maternity photo shoot, but that doesn't mean that you should forgo capturing this time in your life. With the help of your own camera, a tripod, and a remote, you can document your baby bump in the comfort of your own home on your own. Here are some tips for perfecting your maternity selfies.

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Lighting

Lighting is one of the most important factors when attempting to take a good photo. Find a light-filled space in your home and a time of day when the sun isn’t shining directly through the window. Natural light is best for photography, so pick a bright spot in your house, usually by a window, and a time of day when there is a lot of light.

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Background

Find a neutral background for your photos. On your bed, in front of a solid wall, or in front of a sheer curtain on a window are all great places to shoot your maternity photos.

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Yes, this really is the author, and yes, she really did set up and take this photo herself. And you can, too, with some simple tips!

Attire

What to wear for your maternity shoot can often be the most challenging aspect of taking maternity photos. Most importantly, you should choose something that you feel comfortable in. Choose a piece of clothing that accentuates your bump, whether it's a tight lace number or a maxi dress that drapes over your baby bump. This is a time in your life to embrace your body, so show off that bump of yours! My favourite options for maternity shoots are maxi dresses with sleeves or a robe, depending on how much skin you want to show.

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Accessorising

Adding flowers in your hair will create a more styled look to your photos. Flower crowns are easy to make and will help to complete your look. Go hunting in your backyard for some pretty leaves, vines, or flowers, and if you can’t find anything there that will work, head to your local florist. Use hairpins to pin the greenery exactly where you want it, or if you want to go all out, use floral wire and floral tape to create an actual crown.

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Setting up the shot

To take your own photos, you will need a tripod and a remote. Today’s smartphones have built-in cameras that are quite good, so you don't necessarily need a DSLR camera for your photos. Set up your tripod in front of the location you have chosen for your photos and take a few test shots to determine the best placement and zoom. When taking the photos, make sure the remote is hidden in your hand so you don't have to worry about editing that out at a later time.

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Angles

Practise how you will sit or stand and the placement of your hands on your belly in front of the mirror before you take your photos. Choose angles where you feel like you look your best, which can be different for everyone. If you don't know where to start, try standing or sitting to the side, slightly angled towards the camera, with your near hand on top of your bump and your far hand below your bump.

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Additional tips

Get siblings involved. Use editing apps on your phone or your computer to tweak your photos after the fact. Remember that your photos don't have to be perfect, so don't forget to laugh, smile, and have fun with it! Pregnancy BUMP & baby

When pasta attacks: Many women find it difficult to strike the right balance between nutrition and safety.

) d i o v a d n a ( t a e o t t Wha y c n a n g e r p g n duri 54

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

HEALTH CHECK

PROTEIN POWER A moderate intake of protein (18-20% of total energy intake) allows pregnant women to eat the best range of foods across all the healthy core groups, while optimising vitamin and mineral intakes. Interestingly, the protein to carbohydrate ratio was related to the amount of muscle and fat tissue in the developing baby. While more research is needed, it may contribute to the risk of developing diabetes in the future.

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s soon as women announce “I’m having a baby!”, the congratulations are quickly followed by long lists of dos and don'ts about food. Try ginger for morning sickness. Avoid soft cheese because of listeria. Eat more meat to boost your iron. Eat this fish – but not that one, because of mercury. Pregnant women are understandably confused. So, how do you strike the balance between nutrition and safety, when so many things are off the menu? During pregnancy, women need to consume a variety of different foods and need more of the main pregnancy nutrients: protein, folate, calcium, iron, zinc, iodine, and fibre. Here’s a quick guide to the best sources. • Protein: Lean meat, chicken, seafood, dairy products, legumes, nuts, eggs • Folate: Fortified bread and breakfast cereal, green leafy vegetables, legumes, seeds, chicken, eggs, oranges • Calcium: Dairy foods, fortified soy milk, green leafy vegetables, nuts, seeds, tinned fish with bones • Iron: Red meat, fortified cereals, egg yolks, green leafy vegetables, legumes, nuts • Zinc: Meat, eggs, seafood, nuts, tofu, miso, legumes, wheat germ, wholegrain foods • Iodine: Tined salmon and tuna, other fish, oysters, bread fortified with iodine • Fibre: Wholemeal and wholegrain breads and high fibre cereals, oats, vegetables and fruit with the skin on

Pregnancy is an important time to focus on what you eat. Clare Collins and Michelle Blumfeld of the University of Newcastle have some practical recommendations to help you enjoy a variety of foods while getting the best mix of nutrients for your growing body. HOW MUCH? Dietary guidelines advise pregnant women to consume the following number of servings from the five core food groups each day. • Vegetables and legumes/beans: Five servings. One serve = 75g or 100-350kJ; for example, half a cup cooked green or orange vegetables, one cup of raw salad vegetables, half a medium potato, one tomato. • Fruit: Two servings. One serve = 150g or 350kJ; for example, one medium piece (apple, banana, orange), two small pieces (apricots, kiwifruit), one cup diced or tinned fruit. • Grain (cereal) foods, mostly wholegrain or high-fibre varieties: Eight-and-a-half servings. One serve = 500kJ; for example,

3 IN 4

PREGNANCIES ARE MARKED BY NAUSEA AND VOMITING, AND MAY ACTUALLY BE UP TO 90%. one slice of bread, half a cup of cooked rice, pasta or porridge, one-quarter of a cup muesli, three crispbreads. • Lean meats and poultry, fish, eggs, tofu, nuts and seeds, legumes and beans: Three-and-a-half servings. One serve = 500-600kJ; for example, 65g cooked lean meat, 80g cooked lean poultry, 100g cooked fish, two eggs, 170g tofu, 30g nuts, one cup of cooked beans. • Milk, yoghurt, cheese or alternatives, mostly reduced fat: Two-and-a-half servings. One serve = 500-600kJ; for example, 250ml milk, 200g yoghurt, two slices (40g) of cheese.

MORNING (NOON AND NIGHT) SICKNESS Nausea and vomiting affects about three in four pregnancies. While the data on foetal

risks associated with drug treatment are controversial, non-drug approaches are a good place to start. Limit exposure to food odours by having foods that do not smell as much during cooking or by reducing cooking time, with stir-fries or an outdoor BBQ. Nausea can be worse in the presence of hunger, so avoid an empty stomach by having small, frequent meals and snacks comprised of foods that you can tolerate and don’t have much smell, such as fruit or nuts, or raisin bread or sandwiches, or yoghurt. Very cold drinks can help with the nausea and prevent dehydration. You could try ginger as a ginger tablet, cold ginger beer or ginger cordial. While only some evidence supports the use of ginger and/or vitamin B6 supplements to relieve nausea of pregnancy, they’re unlikely to cause harm.

MERCURY AND FISH Fish and seafood are important sources of protein and minerals. They are low in saturated fat and are a major source of omega-3 fatty acids. During pregnancy, omega-3s play an important role in the baby’s developing central nervous system, the brain and retina in eyes. Research shows that maternal omega-3 fatty acid consumption during pregnancy reduces the risk of preterm birth, and increases the length of gestation and therefore birth weight. Deficiency of omega-3s is associated with irreversible visual and behaviours deficits in children, as well as an increased risk of depression, pre-eclampsia and pregnancy hypertension in the mother. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

HEALTH CHECK

Due to changes in the immune system during pregnancy, women are more susceptible to food poisoning. But by avoiding all foods that carry a risk for harbouring listeria, women are consuming fewer nutrients. You don’t have to go without. For every item on the “no” list, there are a number of alternatives: • Avoid pre-packaged cold meats. This includes deli meats and sandwich bars. Instead, choose freshly cooked seafood one to two times per week and/or canned fish up to four times a week. Choose home-cooked meat instead and make it into homemade sandwiches. • Avoid ready-to-eat pre-cooked chicken pieces, especially if cold. Instead, choose home-cooked chicken or hot takeaway whole chicken or large pieces – but eat it immediately. • Avoid raw and chilled seafood including oysters, sashimi or sushi, smoked salmon, ready-to-eat peeled prawns, prawn cocktails, sandwich fillings, and prawn salads. Don’t eat shark (flake) or billfish (swordfish, broadbill, and marlin). Limit orange roughy (deep sea perch) or catfish to once per week. Instead, choose other fish species, including tinned salmon and tuna two to three times a week. • Avoid salads (fruit and vegetables) that are pre-prepared or pre-packaged or from salad bars or smorgasbords. Instead, choose freshly prepared homemade salads (with leafy greens or other salad vegetables), fresh fruit, or

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

canned or frozen fruits and vegetables. • Avoid soft, semi-soft, and surface-ripened cheeses such as brie, camembert, ricotta, feta, and blue cheese. Instead, choose hard cheeses such as cheddar or tasty, processed cheese, cheese spreads, or plain cottage cheese if packaged by the manufacturer. • Avoid soft-serve ice cream and unpasteurised dairy products such as raw goat’s milk. Instead, choose packaged frozen ice cream and pasteurised dairy products such as milk, yoghurt, custard, and dairy desserts. Listeria can live in lower temperatures, so take extra care with foods served cold, and avoid buffets and smorgasbords altogether. Cooking, however, kills listeria, but the food needs to be heated until steam rises. And remember to always wash your hands before handling food or starting to prepare foods.

CONSTIPATION Up to 40% of pregnant women develop constipation. This is caused by rising levels of progesterone and oestrogen, and the relaxation of muscles of the bowel. Low fluid and fibre intakes can also play a role. Mild constipation can be self-treated by

increasing high-fibre foods, including soluble (oats, lentils, dried peas and beans, psyllium) and insoluble (wholemeal and wholegrain breads and cereals, wheat bran, vegetables and fruit) fibres. To counter constipation in pregnancy, aim for 25 to 28 grams of fibre per day, drink plenty of water (1.5 to two litres per day) and exercise regularly. Some oral iron supplements can cause constipation. If medication is required, only use what your doctor prescribes as not all laxatives are safe during pregnancy.

MULTIVITAMINS Women planning or in early pregnancy are likely to need a folic acid supplement to reduce the risk of the baby having a neural-tube defect, and iodine for the developing brain and nervous system. Multivitamin supplements may be recommended when there is a fairly high chance of not meeting nutrient needs from food. This is more likely for pregnant adolescents, vegetarians, those on pre-existing special diets, individuals with drug, tobacco and alcohol addictions, or obese pregnant women on medically restricted diets to limit weight gain.

REPUBLISHED FROM THE CONVERSATION (THECONVERSATION.COM/HEALTH-CHECK-WHAT-TO-EAT-AND-AVOID-DURING-PREGNANCY-30356)

LISTERIA RISK

I’m craving…

VEGGIE BURGER

The word “cravings” is synonymous with “pregnancy”, and these scrumptious recipes from Craving: Eating Well throughout Your Pregnancy by Sandra Mahut will satisfy your food fantasies in a healthy way.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

burgers...

FEED THE BUMP

CHICKEN BURGER WITH PARMESAN + YOGHURT SAUCE Pregnancy BUMP & baby

TRY… VEGGIE BURGER

Makes 4 burgers / Preparation time 25 minutes / Cooking time 25 minutes / Resting time 20 minutes • 2 carrots, grated • 1 raw beetroot (beet), grated • 1 small onion, chopped, plus extra whole rings, to serve • 100g (1 cup) rolled oats • 2 free-range eggs • ½ bunch of chives, finely chopped • 1 teaspoon salt, freshly ground pepper • 2–3 drops Tabasco sauce • 4 slices cheddar cheese • 4 leaves lettuce • 1 avocado, thinly sliced • 1 tomato, sliced into rounds • 4 burger buns

TRY.. OVEN CHIPS

Makes 1 large bowl of chips / Preparation time 20 minutes / Cooking time 20-25 minutes

Yoghurt sauce • 125g Greek yoghurt • 1 teaspoon honey-mustard sauce • 2 spring onions (scallions), sliced • ½ bunch snipped chives • salt, pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C. Mix the carrots with the beetroot, onion, oats, eggs and chives. Season and add a few drops of Tabasco. Mix with a fork until smooth. Let the mixture rest, refrigerated, for 20 minutes. 2. Shape into four balls and flatten slightly. Place on a baking tray lined with baking paper. 3. Bake for 15–18 minutes. Five minutes before the end of cooking time, place a slice of cheddar on each patty. 4. Mix the sauce ingredients together. Season. 5. Warm the buns in the oven for 5 minutes, then spread with a little sauce. Add the lettuce, the veggie burger with melted cheese, avocado slices, onion rings, and a slice of tomato.

• 1 potato • 1 kumara • 1 parsnip • 1 carrot • 2 purple potatoes, such as congo, sapphire, purple gem • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed • paprika or mild chilli powder (optional) • salt flakes or fine sea salt

1. Preheat the oven to 210°C. Wash and dry all of the vegetables (keep the skin on if they are organic). Using a Y-shaped peeler or a mandoline, cut the vegetables into very thin slices. 2. Place the vegetables in a zip-lock bag and add the olive oil, garlic and your choice of spice. Seal the bag and shake so that the vegetables are well coated with the seasonings. 3. Lay the vegetables slices flat on a baking tray lined with baking paper, without overlapping them. 4. Bake for 20–25 minutes. Remove the chips from the oven, season with salt and let them cool. Store in an airtight container. NOTE: Choose fresh, firm vegetables which will be easier to cut into very thin slices.

BURGER VARIATION

CHICKEN BURGER WITH PARMESAN + YOGHURT SAUCE

Cut 4 thick chicken fillets in half horizontally. Cover with plastic wrap and flatten with a rolling pin. Dip in a mixture of beaten egg, paprika, chilli, Tabasco, salt and pepper, then in breadcrumbs flavoured with thyme. Brown them on each side in a frying pan in olive oil. Assemble the burger with the yoghurt sauce, lettuce, and shavings of parmesan cheese. 60

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

FEED YOUR BUMP

I’m craving…

fries..

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

pizza... I’m craving…

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

FEED YOUR BUMP

TRY… CHOCOLATE FONDANT CAKE WITH LIGHT ICING

Makes a 20cm cake / Preparation time 15 minutes / Cooking time 20 minutes / Resting time 30 minutes • 250g good-quality dark cooking chocolate • 4 free-range eggs, separated • 40g rapadura sugar (or light brown sugar) • 15g cornflour • 100g fromage blanc, or substitute quark or labneh (hung yoghurt cheese) • 1 teaspoon baking powder • 1 pinch of salt

chocolate cake.. I’m craving…

TRY… PIZZA MAMMA

Makes 1 pizza / Preparation time 15 minutes / Cooking time 10–12 minutes / Resting time 30 minutes–2 hours

• 1 wholemeal (whole-wheat) pizza base • 2 00ml tomato passata (or tomato pasta sauce) • 2 pinches of dried oregano • 200g fresh mushrooms, thinly sliced • 2 thin slices ham, shredded • 1 ball mozzarella cheese, sliced into rounds • 5–6 black olives • 1 small handful kale, shredded • 1 handful well-washed rocket (optional) • 1 bunch basil or flat-leaf (Italian) parsley (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 250°C. Roll the pizza dough out thinly on a floured surface. 2. Spread the tomato passata over the base, sprinkle with dried oregano, then evenly distribute the mushrooms, shredded ham, mozzarella, olives and kale. Bake for 10–12 minutes. 3. Take the pizza out of the oven. Scatter over a good handful of rocket and fresh herbs, if using, and serve.

WHY TRY TO CURB THOSE FOOD CRAVINGS WHEN YOU CAN GIVE IN... WITHOUT GUILT OR WORRY?

Icing • 150ml almond milk • 100g good quality dark or milk cooking chocolate • 2 tablespoons agave or maple syrup

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler. 2. In a mixing bowl, beat the egg yolks with the sugar. Once the mixture is pale and light, add the cornflour, fromage blanc, baking powder, salt and melted chocolate. 3. Mix together to a smooth batter. Beat the egg whites to soft peaks. Gently fold them into the batter. Butter a springform cake tin, pour in the batter and bake for 20 minutes. Allow to cool a little before unmoulding. 4. For the icing: Heat the milk, removing from the heat just before it comes to the boil. Add the chocolate, in pieces, and mix until smooth. Mix in the syrup and cool for 10 minutes to thicken. Pour the icing over the cake. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Recipes and Images from Craving: Eating Well throughout Your Pregnancy by Sandra Mahut (Murdoch Books, RRP$35). Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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Building your baby’s brain

Want to build your baby’s brain power? Omega-3 fatty acids are the way to go, explains nutritionist Jessica Giljam-Brown (wellnessbyjessica.com).

very parent-to-be wishes for a happy, healthy, calm, and clever baby – whether that be creative, sporty, or book-smart. With this goal in mind, you can become overwhelmed with the advice on how to support your baby’s growth and brain development. There are all kinds of supplements, diets, soundtracks for unborn babies, and even study programmes for newborns, but one thing trumps all when striving for healthy brain development: Omega-3 fatty acids.

Brain building blocks

Healthy brain development relies on your baby having all the building blocks necessary for the growth of the brain and development of important neurological pathways. Omega-3 fatty acids are one of the most important nutrients required to build the foundation for good health and normal development. That's why omega-3 fatty acids should be a priority throughout pregnancy and as your child grows. Omega-3 fatty acids are often referred to as “essential fatty acids”. This is because the body cannot synthesise these itself;

they must be obtained through the diet. There are three types of omega-3 fatty acids necessary for human health. Alpha-linolenic acid (ALA) is the most abundant dietary omega-3 fatty acid and is found in canola oil, flax seeds, and walnuts. Your body can convert ALA into small amounts of the two other kinds of omega 3 fatty acids: Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), which are found in animal tissues like oily fish, beef, and lamb, as well as in some types of algae, and in fortified milk and eggs. While the body can convert ALA into DHA and EPA, it is unknown how much ALA needs to be consumed to convert it into sufficient amounts of DHA or EPA. If you need to avoid animal-based foods or supplements, then look into algae oil supplements as a way to boost your DHA intake.

The roles fatty acids play

Omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA are found together in nature, but both play different roles in the development of your baby’s health. EPA supports the development of your baby’s immune system, both in and

out of the womb. Research shows that high intake of EPAs during the third trimester can reduce allergies in babies and later in their lives. The development of the heart and circulatory system also relies on adequate EPA intake pre-birth. DHA provides the more commonly known omega-3 benefits. It is responsible for supporting the development of healthy neurological function and proper development of the central nervous system and your baby’s vision. Studies have found that children whose mothers supplemented with or had a high dietary intake of omega-3 fatty acids during pregnancy scored higher in IQ and reading assessments in the first six years of life than children from mothers who did not have a high omega-3 intake.

Omega-3 after birth

Omega-3 intake is not just a priority before birth, but afterward, too. The brain continues growing long after birth, so children need to be receiving omega-3 fatty acids through their breast milk, formula, or diet as they grow to provide the nutrients necessary for healthy brain and immune system development. A deficiency in omega-3 fatty acids in children has been linked to social disorders and behavioural deficits, which research has found cannot be reversed with post-birth omega-3 supplementation. Low omega-3 intake has also been linked to a higher rate of allergies and an increased frequency of upper respiratory tract infections. Low third trimester Pregnancy BUMP & baby

intake of omega-3 fatty acids have also been linked with preterm birth and low birth weight.

Why mums need omega-3s too

The importance of specific nutrients in pregnancy are often very baby-focused, but omega-3 fatty acids are just as important for mums. Postnatal depression is one of the most common postpregnancy health conditions, affecting up to 20% of Kiwi mothers, making prevention during pregnancy a priority. Pregnancy depletes maternal stores of omega-3 as the first priority of your body is to nourish the baby, and a low blood level of omega-3 fatty acids decreases the body’s ability to suppress inflammatory chemicals linked to depression, giving rise to a higher risk of postnatal depression in mothers with a low intake of omega-3 fatty acids.

Keep an eye on omega-6s

Another type of fat you may have heard of is omega-6 fatty acids. Most western diets contain more than enough omega-6 fatty acids. In fact, a high ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 fatty acids in pregnancy can increase pro-inflammatory chemicals in the body, which are associated with preterm labour and birth, which is the leading cause of infant death. An ideal ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 fatty acids is 1:1, and is what research has showed humans evolved to consume. However, many diets today reflect a ratio of 14:1, far from the ideal. The biggest source of omega-6 fats in today's diet is from excessive amounts of plain oils like sunflower, canola, and rapeseed oil. Reducing your intake of fried foods, and commercially made cakes, biscuits and chips will reduce your omega-6 intake.

Here, fishy fishy

During pregnancy, it is advised to keep your fish and seafood intake to an average

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

of two servings per week due to the risk of mercury toxicity, so this means that you need to include a range of omega-3 rich foods in your diet. The generally advised dose of omega 3 fatty acids during pregnancy is 2.5 grams, including at least 300mg of DHA and 250mg of EPA. Unless you are taking omega-3 supplements, you won't get this exact amount each day. Instead, aim for these amounts as a daily average.

What’s a serving?

Obtaining omega-3 fatty acids through your diet ensures that the fats will be fresh and most easily absorbed by the body. But what does an adequate dose of omega 3s look like in real food? Sufficient omega-3 fats can be obtained by eating two 200 gram servings of salmon each week, as well as 14 tablespoons of chia seeds or flax seeds (this is easily achieved by adding two tablespoons of chia or flax seeds into your morning smoothie or cereal). Salmon is the richest source of omega-3 fatty acids, so if you were to replace salmon with tuna or mackerel, you would need to consume more in order to get enough omega-3 fats. Eating more than the recommended two servings of fish per week can put your baby at risk of mercury toxicity.

Omega-3 supplements

If you choose to take omega-3 supplements during pregnancy to guarantee your intake, then there are a few things you

need to look for. Firstly, when shopping for a supplement, speak to a qualified healthcare professional; someone who can answer your questions and offer you the best product. Most pharmacy staff are not qualified or knowledgeable on fish oil products, so head into a health food store that has qualified nutritionists working. It must be understood that not all fish oils are created equal. The cheaper the supplement, the lower the quality, and with fish oil, the range of quality available is vast. Your fish oil should smell fresh; it shouldn't be fishysmelling – this is a sign that the oil has degraded and will offer you no benefit. Don't be afraid to open your fish oil supplements in-store to check. If they smell bad, then ask for a refund or exchange. During pregnancy, please only use fish oil supplements, and not fish liver oil supplements (sometimes called cod liver oil). Fish liver oils are very high in vitamin A, and excessive amounts in pregnancy can harm your baby. Another question to ask is about the processing. If the product is extracted using heat, then avoid it. You want a product that is made in low-heat conditions in order to keep the oil as fresh as possible. Many brands of fish oil will only show the total content of omega 3 fatty acids, and don’t give you the breakdown of EPA vs DHA. Look for one that does; this is a sign of a higher quality product. You should also look for a brand which states that their products undergo heavy metal distillation and testing. You want your fish oil to have a heavy metal content of lower than 0.1 parts per million (international standard). If the company can’t confirm that their product contains less than this, stay away. A varied diet, a few servings of oily fish each week, and a high-quality fish oil supplement are simple steps you can take during pregnancy to provide you and your baby with the nutrients needed for healthy development and protection against some of the complications of pregnancy.

BEFORE, DURING & AFTER PREGNANCY SMART FISH OILS FOR “YOU” AND “YOUR BABY” FOR HEALTHY BRAIN & EYE

Nutrition for the brain for both Mum and baby Supports optimal gestational length and birth weight .1 Supports post-natal mood balance .2 Mumomega for Mum and baby before, during and after pregnancy. Eye Q Baby from 6 months - 2 years for healthy brain and eye.

Give your child the very best start in life; you can also help to keep yourself in the best health too. Equazen uses only the highest grade fish and evening primrose oils free of toxins. Always read the label and use as directed. Supplementary to a balanced diet. TAPS PP8483

Exceptional supplements proven by science and provided by nature. Mumomega and Eye q baby are available at pharmacies nationwide.

For more information contact Pharmabroker Sales Ltd , Albany Auckland Ph 415 5050 FREE Phone 0508 664455 REFERENCES 1. McGregor JA et al. Clinical Update A supplement to OBG Management July 2003S1-S12 2. Hibbein JR J Affect Discord 2002 ,69:15-29

Q+A Why you need iron

Pregnant women need more iron than usual, and here’s why. 1 Why is iron important?

Iron is used to prevent and treat anaemia. When the amount of iron in the body gets too low, the haemoglobin level falls below normal. This is known as “iron deficiency anaemia”. Haemoglobin is very important as it carries oxygen from your lungs to the rest of your body. If your haemoglobin or iron levels are low this may make you feel tired and not able to carry out your normal routine.

2 Why do I need to take

iron tablets?

In pregnancy, your growing baby will need iron from the mother and this depletes the mother's stores. It is important to replenish those stores to prevent fatigue and to have better reserves for delivery, recovery and breastfeeding. Most women will drop their iron stores during pregnancy, especially in the second half of pregnancy. This happens even in women who eat an iron-rich diet that contains meat. Women who are already iron deficient or who eat very little or no meat in their diet will almost certainly require iron supplements during pregnancy. Although some vegetables contain a lot of iron, very little of this iron can actually be absorbed.

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

3 How do iron tablets work?

The best way to treat low body iron levels is to take iron supplements, either as a tablet or liquid. Both of these are safe in pregnancy and are an effective and easy way to boost iron stores. The iron in the tablet helps your body make new red blood cells and prevents anaemia. Iron tablets, in the right dose, can make as much difference as adding almost a litre of blood naturally in your body within a few weeks if you are anaemic. You should start to feel a difference after taking iron tablets for just two weeks.

4 Why is having a “reserve”

of iron important?

Having a good store of iron means that you will have enough iron available to make the red cells your body needs as well as the iron that is needed for your growing baby. It is also good to have a store of iron so that you can quickly replace the blood you will lose when the baby is born and are less likely to need a blood transfusion. You will need all the energy you can get when you are looking after your new baby. Low iron levels can make you feel very tired.

PREGNANT PAUSE

5 How long do I need to

take iron tablets for?

Iron tablets are often needed for three to six months after your baby is born. This will depend on a lot of different factors including your diet and whether you are breastfeeding. It is important to check how long you should take them with your doctor or midwife. You might need to have blood tests to check how well the iron tablets are working for you.

FACT IRON TABLETS ARE NOT ONLY

NEEDED DURING PREGNANCY, BUT ALSO FOR THREE TO SIX MONTHS POST-BIRTH.

6 Can increasing the iron

in my diet help with low iron?

It is pretty much impossible to eat a diet that will supply you with the amount of iron that you need each day during pregnancy. By the end of pregnancy you will have very low iron stores if you don’t take iron supplements. You can certainly help by maximising the amount of iron you eat in your diet. The best sources of iron are from red meat such as lamb and beef. Chicken, pork, and fish are also good sources of iron. Eating foods with Vitamin C in them, such as oranges, lemons, strawberries, blueberries, and capsicum is a good way to boost the amount of iron your body will absorb. Avoid drinking tea and coffee with your meals as this can slow the absorption of iron from food. Vegetables like spinach and broccoli and foods like molasses and tofu do have a lot of iron in them, but we can’t get much iron out of non-meat foods.

Pr im ed an

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Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Taking IRON TABLETS Choosing iron tablets with enough iron A variety of iron tablets and tonics are available without a prescription, but many do not have enough iron in them to make a difference. If you are really low in iron, you will need to take iron tablets with the right amount of iron and will need a prescription from your doctor or midwife. The tablets prescribed by a doctor or midwife have a much higher amount of iron and are cheaper.

How do I take iron tablets? Take as directed by your doctor or midwife (usually one tablet once or twice a day). If a tablet is needed twice a day, then your doctor or midwife may recommend starting with one a day for a few days, then increasing to twice a day. Iron is better absorbed if taken on an empty stomach, one hour before or two hours after a meal, if possible. Take iron

tablets with water or juice. Do not take them with tea, coffee, cola, cocoa, or red wine as these reduce the amount of iron absorbed. Swallow the iron tablets whole; do not crush or chew them. Iron tablets should be taken two hours or more after some types of medications including antacids, calcium tablets, and some antibiotics. Check with your doctor, midwife, or pharmacist.

What side effects might I get? Not everybody gets side effects from iron tablets. Occasionally they cause tummy upset, nausea, tummy pain, constipation, or diarrhoea. These usually improve as your body gets used to the tablets. It is normal for iron tablets to make your stools/faeces (poo) turn black. If you have other symptoms or if the symptoms above become bad or worrying, contact your doctor or midwife.

Easing side effects Taking iron tablets with food or at night may help ease tummy upset. If constipation is a problem, increasing your daily fluid and fibre intake can help. Ask your doctor, midwife or pharmacist for advice regarding a gentle laxative if needed. Changing the

GO AHEAD, ASK US ANYTHING!

type of tablet, frequency, or dose may help. You should discuss this with your doctor or midwife before making any changes. There are many iron tablets and tonics available with only very small amounts of iron in them, so they do not cause side effects. They are not strong enough to increase your iron levels quickly enough.

Other ways of giving iron If iron tablets cannot be tolerated, especially if anaemia is significant, intravenous iron through a drip may be needed. This is not often required as the above suggestions are usually effective. Injection of iron into the muscle is not recommended as it is painful and can cause permanent skin scarring or discolouration.

Keep out of the reach of children Iron tablets, like all medicines, should be kept in a locked cupboard out of reach and sight of children. A small amount of iron can be poisonous and can be fatal in infants and young children. Never give an adult dose to a child. If a child accidentally takes iron tablets call the Poisons Information Centre (NZ) immediately on 0800 764 766.

Do you have an embarrassing question about pregnancy, labour, birth, or new motherhood? Ask and we’ll answer! Email editor@bumpandbaby.co.nz with your question, or find us on Facebook at facebook.com/bumpandbabynz and send us a message!

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SOURCED FROM AUCKLAND DISTRICT HEALTH BOARD (NATIONALWOMENSHEALTH.ADHB.GOVT.NZ/HEALTH-PROFESSIONALS/IRON-IN-PREGNANCY)

PREGNANT PAUSE

Protecting yourself and your baby

Immunisations are not just for kids – pregnant women need to consider their immunisation status, too. Theo Brandt of the Immunisation Advisory Centre explains how immunisation during pregnancy helps protect you and your unborn baby against some serious diseases, giving them an excellent start in life.

regnancy is a time when many mothers – and often their partners, too – will take extra care with their diet, their sleep, and other things that will give them and their unborn baby the best start in life. As your body is your temple, you become very aware of everything that goes in, and how it might affect your temple’s most important visitor: Your unborn baby. Being immunised during pregnancy is like training up your temple guards. These guards not only help defend your own body against a few nasty and preventable diseases, but they also teach your baby’s own immune system what to do. So when your baby is born, they have their own temple guards ready to help until their primary immunisation course is completed (at six weeks, three months, and five months of age). It is worth explaining the basics of how vaccines work, to help you understand that what they do is natural and very safe.

THE BASICS OF IMMUNITY

The first time you come in contact with a germ (like a virus or bacteria), it takes time for your immune system to respond and you can get sick. Part of the response is to produce antibodies: Special structures that recognise the disease and latch on

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to it, alerting your immune system to the danger. Once your body has a memory of the infection, the immune system can work quickly making lots of antibodies, and helping destroy the germ the next time you come in contact with it, preventing you from getting sick, or making the sickness less severe. Vaccines also teach your body’s immune system how to recognise diseases, stop them, and make a memory of that disease. They do this using weakened forms or fragments of the disease, called antigens. It’s not enough of the disease to make you sick, but enough for your immune system to recognise it, work out a good defence plan, and store that experience away for later use. The way your immune system responds to a vaccine is the same as the way it responds to the disease itself. It makes the same antibodies and other types of protective cells. As well as the antigens, vaccines have other components to preserve the vaccine and make sure your body’s immune response is as effective as possible. All of these components are used and safely recycled out of the body in a matter of hours or days. When you’re immunised during pregnancy, your unborn baby doesn’t get the vaccine, as your placenta prevents any of that material passing over. But once your immune system

has made the antibodies, these CAN pass over the placenta. Put simply, your body has a natural response to a vaccine, produces antibodies, and shares those with your unborn baby. Your baby will have the protection of these antibodies until they make their own with their immunisation course as an infant.

RECOMMENDED VACCINES DURING PREGNANCY Influenza and whooping cough (pertussis) immunisations are recommended and funded for pregnant women in New Zealand. These are used all over the world, with no evidence of harm to the mother, or to the unborn or newborn baby.

Influenza Influenza (or “the flu”) is caused by a virus. You get it from being coughed or sneezed on, by direct contact with an infected person, or by touching a contaminated surface. Flu can be anywhere. If you get the flu, you could get any or all of these symptoms: Fever, muscle aches, headache, lack of energy, dry cough, sore throat, and possibly a runny nose. The fever and body aches can last three to five days, and the cough and lack of energy may last for two or more weeks.

SHOTS THAT HELP

FACT Influenza and

whooping cough (pertussis) immunisations are used all over the world, with no evidence of harm to the mother, or to the unborn or newborn baby.

Just call me Antigen Warrior!

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Up to half of all babies with pertussis end up in hospital. One in six very young babies who are admitted to intensive care with whooping cough will die or be left with permanent brain damage due to lack of oxygen. In children and older babies, a distinctive “whooping” sound is made at the end of a coughing fit as the child tries to breathe through narrowed airways. Infants may stop breathing and go blue from lack of air, instead of having coughing fits. The cough can last for months and be very disruptive, even for older children and adults. Severe repeated coughing fits can break ribs, cause bleeding in the eyes and nose and, of course, result in loss of sleep. However, in many cases, teenagers and adults may have an annoying cough, but are often unaware that they have whooping cough – and they can still pass it on to others, including unprotected babies.

Recent New Zealand research has shown that most people who get the flu don’t even know, as they show no symptoms. But you could still catch the flu from them. If you’re pregnant and get the flu, you have a much higher risk of developing complications like pneumonia, being admitted to intensive care, experiencing premature labour, and/or delivery problems. You also have a higher risk of dying from influenza than women who are not pregnant. Your unborn baby is more likely to be born small for age, become distressed in PROVIDING PROTECTION labour, and/or be delivered by Caesarean. FOR YOUNG BABIES After being born, babies less than a year When your newborn is under six weeks, old, and particularly those less than six they’re too young to receive their first months of age, have the highest risk of vaccine dose, but are at greatest risk from all children for getting influenza and whooping cough. To provide the best developing serious complications. protection for your newborn baby against But there is no immunisation available whooping cough, it is recommended that against influenza until six months of age. a dose of a whooping cough (pertussis) The antibodies you make in response to vaccine is given during the third trimester the vaccine circulate in your bloodstream of each pregnancy. This timing allows and help protect you from getting sick enough time before baby is born for from influenza. They also travel across plenty of antibodies to be transferred the placenta into your baby’s from you to them. bloodstream and help protect By immunising yourself tip your baby from influenza for the in pregnancy, your baby is You also pass protected in two ways: first few months after birth, the some antibodies • For the first few months vulnerable time for your baby. You can have the vaccine to baby in your of life, your baby is provided anytime during pregnancy, with protection to fight breast milk, which will help protect your whooping cough. and you can be • You are protected from baby for up to six months after birth. The vaccine is free during immunised while catching whooping cough the influenza season (usually breastfeeding. and passing it to your baby. early March to August). The protection given to your baby is only temporary, Whooping cough and it is important that your baby is also Whooping cough (also called pertussis) immunised on time at six weeks, three is a chest infection that is very easy to months, and five months of age. This catch and lasts for weeks or months. ensures they remain protected, as they Nine out of 10 people will catch it if they are still at risk of severe whooping cough are living in the same house as someone disease as well as a range of other diseases with whooping cough, unless they are that these vaccinations protect against. fully immunised. Whooping cough is Studies, including some from the most infectious before and a few weeks UK and in New Zealand, have shown that after the cough begins, so you can pass giving the whooping cough booster vaccine it on before you know you have it. in pregnancy is very safe for both mother For children and especially babies, and baby. Vaccine safety is continually whooping cough can be very, very serious. monitored worldwide.

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COMMON QUESTIONS HOW WELL PROTECTED WILL MY BABY BE FROM WHOOPING COUGH?

A clinical study in the UK has shown that more than nine out of 10 newborn babies whose mothers were vaccinated in pregnancy were protected against severe whooping cough for the first few months of life. This is now being supported by other studies worldwide. It is still possible that your baby may catch whooping cough from someone else, but by being protected by your antibodies, your baby will be better able to fight the disease and get less sick.

WHAT ABOUT SIDE EFFECTS?

The most commonly reported side effects from the influenza or whooping cough immunisations are redness, soreness, and/or some swelling at the site where the jab was given. Some women may experience a mild fever, headache, or aches and pains. Discuss the best methods to relieve any discomfort you may experience with your midwife, practice nurse, or doctor before you have your immunisations. For all immunisations, as with medications and foods, an extremely rare allergic reaction called anaphylaxis can occur. Anaphylaxis occurs about one to three times in every one million doses. All vaccinators in New Zealand have training and equipment to deal with this situation in the unlikely event of it occurring.

WHAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY?

Household members and others who will have close contact with your baby can purchase influenza and whooping cough immunisations through their family doctor or some pharmacies. Reducing the risk they will get sick with influenza or whooping cough reduces the risk they will expose your baby to those diseases. It is good to check that all children under 18 years of age are up-to-date with their immunisations. Older children and adults only need one whooping cough immunisation to boost their protection against whooping cough, even if they haven’t been immunised before. For everyone, except pregnant women, a 10-year gap is recommended between whooping cough booster immunisations.

Protecting your baby starts before birth When you’re pregnant, free vaccines can help protect you and your new baby before they are fully immunised.

IMMUNISATION DURING PREGNANCY Inﬂuenza and whooping cough (pertussis) immunisations are recommended and free for all pregnant women in New Zealand. These types of vaccines are used internationally during pregnancy and are a very safe way to protect both mother and baby. Immunisation during pregnancy causes the mother’s immune system to make antibodies. The antibodies circulate in her blood stream to help protect her from getting sick. They also travel across the placenta into her baby’s blood stream and help protect the baby after birth, before baby has completed their ﬁrst three immunisations. WHOOPING COUGH Babies, particularly those younger than 6 months of age, can get very sick or even die from whooping cough. Immunisation between 28 and 38 weeks of pregnancy can help protect your baby for up to 3 months after they are born. Babies then develop their own protection through immunisations at 6 weeks, 3 months and 5 months of age.

visit immune.org.nz or speak to your doctor or practice nurse for more advice. TAPS approval number: NA 8613

INFLUENZA (FLU) Pregnant women who get influenza have a much higher risk of developing complications like pneumonia, being admitted to intensive care, experiencing premature labour, and/or delivery problems. They also have a higher risk of dying from influenza than women who are not pregnant. Their unborn baby is more likely to be born small for age, become distressed in labour, and/or be delivered by caesarean. You can have the vaccine anytime during pregnancy, which will help protect your baby for up to 6 months after birth. The vaccine is free during the influenza season (usually early March to August). IMMUNISATION AND BREASTFEEDING Mothers pass some antibodies to baby in their breast milk - these don’t interfere with baby’s own immunisations and in fact may help them work better. You can continue your usual breastfeeding after baby receives immunisations, including the rotavirus vaccine. Mothers can be immunised themselves while still breastfeeding.

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PREGNANT POSE

Pregnancy yoga is the perfect way to nurture your mind and body, and get some much-needed relaxation, explains Shelley MacGregor of Bump Yoga (bumpyoga.co.nz).

regnancy is an exciting time, but also a time when you really need to look after yourself – not only your diet, but your general health and wellbeing too. So, you research the best way to nurture your body, mind, and growing baby, and the internet yells, back, “Yoga!” But where do you start? What sort of yoga is best? And what do you do if you already have a yoga practise or class you attend – how do you ensure you are staying safe?

Why yoga is so good

Yoga is touted as the Holy Grail of pregnancy exercise – and for good reason. It allows you to move and stretch your body, helping you deal with the various aches and pains that come with each stage of pregnancy. It gives you time to yourself, to let go of the chaos and stress that surround you each and every day, and allows you time to just be. The many other benefits include: • Increased comfort. • Better stability on your feet. • Better posture (and, therefore, fewer backaches!). • Improved breathing and clarity of mind (so decreased “baby brain!”). • Better sleep. Yoga also helps you to build strength to carry you though your pregnancy, prepares your body for the birth, and builds stamina to help you handle life as a new mum.

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For the regular yogis

What to look for

All that sounds great, right? “Sign me up!”, you’re thinking. But what do you need to look for when choosing a yoga class or workout to buy/download? Your best bet is to always go to a prenatal yoga class specifically designed for pregnancy. These generally recommend attendance from 16 weeks of pregnancy, and can usually accommodate your needs right up to (and sometimes past) your due date. The benefits of actually attending a class are that you have the eyes of an expert on your form and your movement to ensure that your alignment is correct and you aren’t doing something that will cause you pain or discomfort. The classes will focus on postures/ asanas that will help to align your body and stretch out your sore bits. This, coupled with breathing and relaxation exercises, will ensure you float out of the studio after your class… Home for a cup of tea and the best sleep you will have that week! The other advantage of attending a prenatal yoga class is that you will get to mix with other mums-to-be going through exactly what you are going through! Often when you are pregnant for the first time, you are the only one you know at the time living through a pregnancy day by day, so the chance to chat and swap notes with other ladies in your community can be really rewarding You don’t have a class near you? Then the internet is your oyster! There are many and varied prenatal videos on YouTube that you can download and follow along with at home. Try out a few different sorts until you find one that resonates with you. And then take it slow! Ease into each posture, ensuring you aren’t pushing yourself too far, too fast – the last thing you need is a new sore bit! Search for videos that fit the trimester you are in, and that are well-rounded, offering movement, breathing, and relaxation.

What do you do if you already attend a general yoga class? Tell your teacher you are pregnant as soon as you know. They can easily adapt your regular class and keep an eye on you to ensure you are working within your limits. They will also advise alternatives to postures that are contraindicated during pregnancy or can exacerbate certain conditions. They will also recommend you lie on your side rather than your back for Yoga Nidra or relaxations. Let them guide you – and they may suggest that at a certain point in your pregnancy their general class is no longer for you. That may be the time to ask for their recommendation on a more specific pregnancy-focused class in your area, or to go to one-on-one classes where they can better look after your needs.

What else can I do?

Well, it can be as simple as going for a walk. Never underestimate the benefit of getting outdoors, stretching your legs, and getting some fresh air. It’s good for the mind, body, and soul, and is a fantastic complement to your yoga or Pilates practice. The key is to take it easy, especially if you weren’t particularly fit prior to pregnancy. This is not the time to take on a five-hour hike! Take it slow,get plenty of fluids (take your drink bottle with you), and be sure not to overheat. Also, as you progress into your pregnancy, listen to your body. If you have a day where you are just exhausted and have to really push yourself to head out the door, then maybe that should be a rest day for you. Or maybe that’s just the right time to pop on the yoga DVD and stretch and rest your body with some relaxing yoga poses. It’s all about being kind to yourself and doing what you need.

ALWAYS TALK TO YOUR LMC BEFORE STARTING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAMME, AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO, WHEN, AND HOW OFTEN.

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What about Pilates?

Pilates is another alternative for prenatal exercise that could be an option for you. With Pilates, the emphasis is more on moving your body and breathing rather than the deep relaxation that you get from yoga. If you can find a class that combines both yoga and Pilates for pregnancy, then you are on to a winner and definitely getting the best of both worlds! Once again, though, it is important (especially from 16 weeks onwards) that the class you choose is designed for pregnancy, as a general Pilates class puts too much emphasis on your core muscles or requires you lie on your front for some exercises – which can do you more harm than good. Talk to your Pilates teacher and see if they have had specific training in prenatal Pilates. They can then either offer you modifications to exercises that could be an issue, or again may suggest you do private sessions focusing on your needs.

The end

How do you know when you should stop? Easy: When your mind and body tell you, “That’s it!” I teach pregnant mums from 16 weeks onwards, and while some come up to about 35 weeks, others come past their due date! Every pregnancy is different, so go to classes or follow videos for as long as you are comfortable and enjoying it. Certain conditions or complications can also limit the time you can continue to exercise – always listen to the advice of your LMC, as they are the ones with in-depth knowledge of you and your pregnancy, so will let you know when to start and finish. Also, they are often the best ones to chat to when looking for a suitable class – they will know what’s available in your area and what other mums-to-be have attended and enjoyed.

PREGNANT POSE HAIL, CAESAR!

Never underestimate the benefit of getting outdoors, stretching your legs, and getting some fresh air.

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Are you friend-zoning your partner? When you’re pregnant, sex and connecting with your partner might be the last thing on your mind. Jo Robertson, co-director of Practical Parenting Antenatal (practicalparentingantenatal. com), relationship counsellor, and sex therapist, has honest advice on intimacy in a time of indigestion.

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SEX TALK

regnancy is insanely exciting and insanely strange at the same time. It’s a little bit like an alien takeover of your body – nausea, weird cravings of putting tomato sauce on apple slices, growth in various locations around your body, the push of feet against your ribs, acid reflux, overheating, and then an animal-like delivery of said baby involving lots of moaning and grunting. This is not everyone’s experience, of course; however, it was mine and it was bizarre. Currently 11 weeks pregnant with my third baby, I am reminded again of how difficult it is to remain connected, let alone passionate, with my gorgeous husband. Life gifted me an incredible man, but we are still a very normal couple with very normal battles around dishes, hair in drains, and nappy changes. After the alien takeover, a newborn hits your world and spins it around like you can never imagine. This tiny being, dependent on you 24/7, demands that your relationships shift into a new zone. You need to become a team, collaborators in caregiving, which sometimes feels like a shift into the “friend zone”. How do we keep intimacy alive in these times? How do we show and receive the same kind of love we had in the early days?

we hand out detailed questionnaires for our couples to discuss budgets, chores, family, and childcare expectations. Women are particularly reluctant to feel like a nag; they don’t want to play the mother role with their partner – telling them to do the dishes, or make dinner more often. We can avoid that nagging feeling if we let each other know ahead of time what we would like, followed up with, “I will try to be patient when you’re tired and forget. But when you do XYZ, I feel cared for, which makes me more likely to want intimacy.” I must confess, however, that when I got so sick of my husband leaving dirty nappies around the house, I told him the next time I found a nappy I would leave it in his undie drawer (a pooey nappy especially). He realised at that point I was either very serious or very insane, both of which required a change in his nappyleaving habits!

YOU NEED TO Learn BECOME A TEAM, your love COLLABORATORS IN languages Love Languages: CAREGIVING, WHICH The Secret to Love That Lasts, an SOMETIMES FEELS book LIKE A SHIFT INTO THE incredible from Dr Gary Chapman, details "FRIEND ZONE".

Start small

Let each other know what your expectations are around the basic things: Work/life balance, household chores, childcare, alone time, routines… Everything! The small things are just as important as the sensual. I have heard so many couples say, “When you haven’t helped around the house in two weeks, I don’t really feel like being close to you.” There is an old cliché that “sex starts in the kitchen” – it’s simple and true. The small things can bring a separation in intimacy, which makes us feel that person isn’t on our team anymore. In our final antenatal group session,

five “languages” that indicate how we prefer to give and receive love. You might prefer words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. I recommend you do an assessment online that tells which you and your partner connect to most, which will indicate how you need to love one another to feel closer. For example, I am a gifts girl, loud and proud. When my man buys me a thoughtful present, or brings home flowers, I feel like he has thought about me and really loved me. Because gifts are my thing, I naturally want to do the same for him. But if I bring home the latest surfing magazine, he thinks it’s amazing, but it doesn’t mean as much without a card with some encouragement written in it. He loves words of affirmation – a talking love, rather than a gift.

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SEX TALK

man words The danger with love languages is that we often show each other love in the way we want to receive it, but if we do this, we have completely lost the moment. Understanding how you and your partner tick will encourage intimacy prior to anything sexual happening. Some ideas: • Words of affirmation: Write little notes in hidden places around the house for your partner to find. • Touch: When you’re sitting and watching TV, stay physically connected. Hold hands or rub their leg. • Quality time: Turn off your phone, eat at the table rather than in front the TV, or make sure after a few months you lock in a babysitter once a week for a date night. • Acts of service: Offer to pick up your partner’s prescription, fill up their car with petrol, or make their lunch for the following day. • Gifts: The easiest, in my opinion! Pick up your partner's favourite chocolate on the way home and bring it out for dessert.

The actual sex part

Below is a REALLY simplified version of what’s happening to our bodies after we have a baby, and some ideas to work through it. • Prolactin levels rise during breastfeeding. Psychologically, prolactin gives new mothers that sense of wanting to be near to and focused on their baby. • Oxytocin is released during breastfeeding. This hormone is known as the “love drug”, and is also released during orgasm. For mums, often your sense of bonding and attachment is fulfilled because of breastfeeding, potentially leaving you with a lower drive to seek pleasure in other ways. • Breastfeeding decreases vaginal lubrication (wetness), which can make sex more painful. • If you had a difficult labour, wounds are healing and you might have some residual sense of trauma of what your body has just gone through. • You’re tired, probably unlike any tiredness you’ve ever felt in your life before. In the wise words of Constance Hall, “It’s quite simple, if we can’t sleep we turn into a--holes” – and fair enough.

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“Pregnancy – try to understand how she is feeling (tired, sick, hormonal).”

I asked the man of my life to contribute to this topic, and he responded in concise bullet points (as do many men). “Probably not that much sexy time in first trimester.”

“Newborn – Just like the above, but amplified.”

If you are suffering from any kind of postnatal anxiety or depression, then your body is in survival mode. It’s giving everything to just getting through each day, and you don’t want to put any extra pressure on it. Some thoughts on this: • Remove the pressure. If we try to force our body into something it’s not ready for, we create negative associations with the experience of sex. You don’t want to attach concepts of discomfort or pain with sex. • Try doing something called “Sensate Focus Therapy”. Typically, you spend one to two weeks doing one thing you both feel comfortable with, such as massage and kissing. Then for another week, you go a bit further. The following week, do more, etc. If it takes you three months to have intercourse, then what’s the big deal? You’ve got your whole life to do this, so make it pleasurable and comfortable along the way. • Use lubricant (preferably something natural), then more lubricant, then some more. If you notice you are drier than before, that’s completely normal because of the breastfeeding. Intimacy is about connection, friendship, and “melting moments”, not about penetration. With both of our babies, my husband and I didn’t have intercourse for months. I had a lot of healing to do after a rather traumatic first birth, then followed with a Caesarean for our second. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t have intimacy! We “fooled around” like the old days, had lots of fun in the shower, and made sure we stayed on the same team the whole time. Then when we did have intercourse,

“Help to alleviate some of the hardship and the chances of action will increase!”

“Don’t be afraid to ask for some intimacy, but don’t get disappointed by a ‘no’ if it’s not the right time.”

we took it slow. We made sure I was comfortable the whole time and that it was pleasurable rather than something we were “getting done” once a week. We introduced a vibrator occasionally, and had regular date nights where we weren’t allowed to talk about baby routines or poo consistency. The goal was, and continues to be, intimacy over intercourse.

Reframing romance

I posed the question earlier: “How do we show and receive the same kind of love we had in the early days?” My theory is that we don’t show the same kind of love, nor should we. We show a deeper more profound affection that is “standing in love” rather than “falling in love” (see Staying in Love, by Robyn Salisbury). I take comfort in the fact that my husband chooses me every day. He decides to love and care for me no matter the life circumstances we are in. If I’m irritable and 20kg heavier than when he met me, he stands in love with me and chooses “us” all over again. Romance is deepened when you’ve shared life together; it just looks a little different. Don’t get me wrong, the occasional bum grab or love letter is extremely important, but healthy adult relationships are formed, not found. I believe when we offer to make our partner a cup of tea at night, it’s romance; when we get up to turn the light off when we both forgot and are dead in bed, it’s romance; when the baby is crying and we jump up first, allowing the other person that five minutes of rest, it’s romance. Romance is beautiful, and it’s found in our everyday choices.

NE W

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What to do (and not do) during labour This one’s for your birth companion – anyone whom you’re planning to have in the delivery room while you’re in labour and giving birth needs to read it.

DO: Be present. Put down your

phone, give her your full attention, and for the love of all that is holy, don’t wait to go to the toilet until right before the action is happening.

Tell her she’s amazing and beautiful and doing an incredible job. Praise goes a long way. It doesn’t matter if she’s sweating and her hair is plastered to her head and she’s grunting like an animal – which, by the way, are perfectly normal. She IS amazing and beautiful and doing an incredible job.

DON’T: Turn on the TV in the

room and start watching the rugby. We don’t care whom the All Blacks are up against. Unless she specifically tells you it's okay to turn on the rugby because it will help to distract her while she’s having contractions, that TV stays off.

DO: Bring snacks and bottles of

water or a sports drink so you can stay energised and hydrated. You will be no good to her if you are exhausted and grumpy from lack of energy.

DON’T: Ask her if it hurts.

Of course it hurts, Captain Obvious. Trust us, you do not want to hear her answer to this question, as it will be filled with expletives.

DO: Ask her if she wants to be

touched or hold your hand. Some mums in labour do NOT want to be touched, and some want a deep-pressure massage or to mangle your hand while they push. Do whatever she wants.

DON’T: Moan about how

you’re getting tired of rubbing her back, or gasp that she’s squeezing your hand too hard. No offence, but she isn’t in a position to think about you right now. It’s all about her. She is just doing what she needs to do to get through this.

DO: Advocate for her. You will

have talked about what kind of birth she wants ahead of time, and if she can’t speak for herself, it’s your job to be her mouthpiece about topics like episiotomy, pain relief, and whether she wants a mirror to see the baby’s head coming out.

DON'T

Order pizza to be delivered to the birthing centre (unless it’s for the staff) or run out for a burger and fries. She won’t feel like eating, and the smell of your food might make her vomit. Also, she will want to strangle you if you’re chowing down on a burger while she’s in labour. 84

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DON’T: Make the “THIS IS SO GROSS” face when you see things coming out of her. Women in labour gush amniotic fluid, vomit, wee, and even poo – it’s normal. And when the baby is born, it’s often with a gush of fluids and blood. Then the placenta comes out, which is fascinating – but bloody. Put on your game face.

DO: Tell her what is happening as

the baby is being born. This is especially important if she’s having a Caesarean or if she’s giving birth in a position where she can’t see the baby coming out. Tell her what you can see – it will encourage her to rally and keep going when she’s beyond tired.

DON’T: Invite unapproved

people into the birthing room. She’s the one giving birth, so she gets the final say over who is there to watch. This also includes postbirth – don’t you dare invite the grandparents into the room while she’s having her perineum stitched or the placenta is sitting there in plain view waiting for the midwife to check it over. Let her say when it’s time for people to come in.

ATTENTION DADS-TO-BE

Tell her your baby is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Because even if your little guy or girl is covered in sticky yellowish-white stuff (that’s vernix) and blood, and is a bit squashed, and has a funny-shaped head, we promise that he or she will be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

Yes, we all want to look as chilledout as she is.

LABOUR PREP: Get ready for a stress-less birth about the three stages of labour If it’s your first time giving birth, Learn When you’re in the throes of childbirth, you might feel like or you’ve been there, done that, it’s never going to end – and you may start to panic, thinking not going to be able to do it. Remembering the three you may feel fairly freaked out you’re stages of labour (and educating your birth partner about them by the idea of giving birth. How too) can help you to focus on moving ahead. 1: EARLY LABOUR – this is the beginning of labour, DOES a whole baby fit through STAGE when you feel contractions and your body is indicating it’s time there? Here are some ways to get for birth. This stage is the longest, and can last from a few days a few hours. During this first stage of labour is when you will on top of the fear ahead of time to go to the hospital or birthing centre. Often the end of this stage and have a stress-less labour. is signalled by something called “transition” – when mums-to-be 86

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CALM DOWN

LOOK AFTER YOUR EMOTIONS It’s all well and good to say “Feel the fear and do it anyway,” but in reality, many mums-to-be are scared of the birthing process – particularly the pain, as they have never felt it before and have no context for it. If you’re scared by the idea of childbirth, talk to your midwife beforehand and be specific about what is worrying you. It can also help to talk to friends who have had babies about their experiences (ask them for positive advice, not horror stories). Educate yourself about childbirth and what to expect, as “forewarned is forearmed”, attend antenatal classes – and ask lots of questions. Counselling may also help you to work through your fears. It’s important to identify your emotions and honour them by acknowledging them and getting help for the things that are upsetting you.

Know your options for pain relief

Whether you want pain relief or not, it’s important that you know what the options are – in case you change your mind. Find out what pain relief is available at your hospital or birthing centre (most birthing centres can only offer minimal pain relief and cannot give epidurals) and find out from your midwife at what point you can have pain relief, how long it takes to administer, how fast it will take effect, if it will prevent you from being in certain positions while you’re in labour, and if there are complications you should know about. Ensure that your partner understands your wishes with regard to pain relief. And try to be flexible. There’s no award for giving birth without pain relief, and there’s no shame in wanting or needing it.

Get to know your surroundings

Take a tour of the birthing centre or hospital birthing suite well before you’re due to give birth, so you know exactly where to park, where to go, and what kind of environment you’ll be in. Find out what happens if you might need to arrive in the middle of the night (some hospitals only have particular entrances open after-hours, and you don’t want to be driving around the place looking for the way in). Ask what the hospital or birthing centre provides and what you need to bring along with you. Find out if there is a birthing pool and other things like exercise balls to sit on during labour. And ask to see the post-birth accommodation – will you be in a shared room? What will your baby sleep in? What are the toilets like?

Read positive birth stories

Horror birth stories abound on the internet, and it’s almost impossible to avoid them. And reading scary birth stories can make your anxiety even worse. Read positive stories about normal labour and birth. At the same time, ask your midwife to tell you what ways you can help yourself to have a safe labour and birth. It’s important that you know how things will be handled if something goes wrong, but rather than reading awful stories on the internet, get your midwife – who has been at the business end of things far more often than you have – to calmly and factually prepare you for things to go right. And then go read some more positive birth stories.

Remind yourself that you can do this

feel like they can’t go on, and they may even say they want to go home and not have the baby at all! Some mums vomit or cry at this point. At the end of this stage is also when you’ll feel like you need to push. STAGE 2: ACTIVE LABOUR – this is when your cervix is completely open (dilated) and you’re ready to push. This stage lasts until your baby is born. STAGE 3: DELIVERY OF PLACENTA – you’ll continue to have contractions after your baby is born, but they won’t be as strong or painful (or you might not notice them as much as you’ll be focused on your baby). These contractions will help you deliver the placenta, and then they will stop.

This is hard for first-time mums to believe, but you can and will get through birth, and you will do an amazing job of it. Stay positive and remind yourself that your body knows how to grow a baby with very little input from you – really, your job is to stay healthy and let your body do its work. Labour and birth are similar – your body knows what to do, and your midwife is there to guide you through the process. Put positive affirmations about labour and birth where you can see them – the mirror in your bathroom, your closet door, your diary – and reaffirm to yourself that you are strong and powerful, and your amazing body can handle labour and birth.

Do what it takes to relax

Doing yoga, swimming, meditation, getting a pregnancy massage, relaxation exercises, journalling, gazing at the clouds – whatever makes you feel relaxed, do it. Pregnancy is the time to pamper yourself, so don’t hold back on the things that make you feel calm, refreshed, and centred. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

"Whoa, what just happened? Where am I? Who are you?"

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FROM BUMPANDBABY.CO.NZ

One of the mostasked questions mums-to-be have is, “What does birth feel like?” But have you ever wondered what birth feels like for your baby? This article from our website bumpandbaby. co.nz gives you insight into something you may never have considered.

What does birth feel like for your baby? Early labour

As you go into labour, you’ll be producing lots of oxytocin, known as the “love hormone”, which will help put your baby into a calm, content mood. In early labour, when you’re experiencing contractions, your baby is moving down into your birth canal and pressing his head against your cervix as it dilates. His skull is soft and pliable, so it’s easier for him to move through the birth canal – and even if he gets a conehead from the birth, it won’t hurt him because his skull isn’t fully moulded yet. Any misshapenness should resolve within a few days.

Active labour

During active labour – when your contractions are coming every three or four minutes and lasting up to 90 seconds at a time – your baby will feel a bit squashed, as every time a contraction happens, he’s getting a bit squeezed. But it shouldn’t bother him very much, and research has shown that babies can actually have sleep patterns during contractions!

Does it hurt?

While we’re not sure if your baby is feeling any pain during its journey through the birth canal, experts believe that the feeling for your baby is more similar to the sense of compression you might feel if you were crawling through a tight space. Researchers have found that the neural connections that would lead your baby to interpret sensations as “pain” in the same way adults do haven’t fully developed at the time of labour, so it’s unlikely your baby is in actual pain. They may be more surprised at the new sensations or being in a confined space between the womb and the world! But he’ll twist and turn to try to find the easiest way to squeeze through.

KEEN TO KNOW MOR E? Check out our

website bumpandbaby.co.nz for articles and info about conception, pregnancy, birth, and life with a newborn.

I spy with my little eye

We’re also not sure how much babies hear or see during labour and birth, although research does show that babies can hear you in utero, so do sing and talk to your unborn child! His eyesight is blurry and unfocused at birth, so it’s likely he can’t really “see” much during labour.

When you’re pushing

As you’re pushing, your baby will be trying to help the process along too by pushing to get out – birth is a partnership between you and your baby, and both of you want to get on with things! If you have pain relief during labour and it makes you feel a bit sleepy, your baby will feel a bit sleepy too, and this might make it harder for him to move things along from the inside.

During delivery

During delivery, you will feel a burning sensation as your baby’s head crowns (commonly called the “ring of fire”). For your baby, this last big squeeze of his widest part – his head – is helpful in preparing him to live outside of your uterus, as the compression he experiences through the birth canal expels fluid and mucous from his lungs and prevents him from inhaling fluid and blood as he’s passing through. This will help him to be ready to take his first breath once he’s “on the outside”.

First moments

It can be a bit of a shock to your baby to find himself in the bright, cold, draughty world after nine months in a dark, warm, snug environment, so he might be a bit upset. Skin-to-skin contact and keeping your baby warm will help calm him down and regulate his heart rate and breathing.

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All right, you're pretty cute. I suppose we'll keep you.

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SIBLING REVELRY

Big brother, big sister, big trouble? When a new baby comes into your family, older siblings can often feel resentful, upset, and left out. Child psychiatrist Dr Kaylene Henderson (drkaylenehenderson.com) has some great expert tips on helping toddlers to bond with new baby siblings.

iblings are such an incredible gift for young children. Yet, strangely, toddlers don’t always seem to appreciate these gifts as much as we think they should. In fact, I’m sure many toddlers sometimes wish they could “re-gift” their new baby siblings. Sometimes it’s difficult

to have empathy for how massive this life change is, especially when we’re the ones who have been up all night. And at those times (if we’re not too sleep-deprived for imaginings), it can be useful to picture OUR lives and relationships being suddenly and dramatically changed. Something a little like this, perhaps…

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You and your husband are completely in love. Then, one day, quite unexpectedly, he sits down and excitedly announces that he will soon be bringing home another woman, to live with the two of you permanently, whether you like it or not. Sure enough, a few months later, a new woman arrives in your home. She is young and so gorgeous that random strangers in the shopping centre come over to ogle her. They seem not to notice you. When you’re back at home, she wants to spend much of her time physically attached to your husband. It seems that since she arrived, not only are you expected to share your husband, but everything else that used to be just yours too. She’s made no effort to be friendly or to contribute to the household since she arrived and yet, oddly, everyone assumes that you’re thrilled with this new arrangement! Worst of all, your husband seems to be up all night, every night with his new love and is too tired to spend quality time with you during the day. Forgive me for asking, but at what point did this seem like a good idea?! Now, don’t get me wrong. The arrival of a new baby sibling can be wonderful for a family. It just doesn’t always seem like that at the start. Or at least, not for the toddler. A baby’s arrival brings enormous changes for your child and it’s important not to lose sight of that in the sleepdeprived haze of newborn-parenthood. Here are my tips for helping your toddler adapt to and bond with her new baby sibling. Some of these are drawn from my clinical experience and theoretical knowledge, but most come from my experience as a mother of three young and loving siblings.

BEFORE YOUR NEW BABY IS BORN

a book now, Baby. You’ll be able to listen to it from inside my tummy and when you come out, we’ll be able to show you the pictures too!” or, “I wonder if you like this song too – your big sister picked this one for us all to listen to.” You get the idea.

READ STORIES ABOUT NEW BABY SIBLINGS There are quite a few books to help prepare toddlers for the birth of new baby siblings. We read I’m a Big Sister by Joanna Cole (who has also written a big brother version). I particularly liked this story because it explains that babies ask for what they need by crying. My empathic oldest child was very reassured that babies were simply communicating in this way and were not always sad. Once her baby sibling had arrived, I could then ask for her help to work out why her baby sister was crying – “I wonder if she’s trying to ask for a feed or a sleep, what do you think?” Assisting in this way can bring a welcome sense of responsibility for your toddler.

LOOK AT YOUR TODDLER’S BABY PHOTOS WITH THEM I made a little book for each of my daughters a few months before their next baby sibling was expected. In it, there were photos of their hospital stays, of being kissed and cuddled, and of using the baby equipment (e.g. baby capsule, sling, play mat, bassinet etc) so that they understood that they had enjoyed these when they were babies and it would soon be our new baby’s turn.

ENCOURAGE BONDING WITH YOUR “LISTENING BELLY”

AFTER YOUR NEW BABY IS BORN

Just as you will start to bond with your baby even before his/her birth, so too can your toddler. Let your toddler know that her soon-to-arrive sibling can already hear her, even from inside your belly. This provides wonderful opportunities for interaction when you’re chatting, reading, or listening to music with your toddler, e.g. “Your big sister and I are just about to read

If you, like me, choose to have your babies in hospital, there are things you can do to make this separation from your toddler less distressing. Each morning and night, my children and I video-called each other via mobile phone (my phone and my husband’s phone, not my toddler’s, by the way), so that we were able to say our

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YOUR HOSPITAL STAY

goodnights and good-mornings, despite being apart. I’m aware that this won’t be possible for everyone, but worth looking into if you can. (Kisses goodnight can get a little messy on the phone screen-cover). Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to be my usual physically interactive self after the birth, I packed quiet activities that my young visitors would be easily able to do in my hospital room (puzzles, colouring in, etc) and planted little treasure hunts around my room for their visits (which

SIBLING REVELRY

ENSURE LIFE GOES ON AS USUAL Of course, everything isn’t normal (especially not your energy levels), but the birth of a new baby sibling shouldn’t mark the end of all fun activities. If you can still manage to get to your toddler’s favourite playgroup sessions with a new baby in tow, then try your best to do so. Otherwise you risk your toddler making the association between “birth of sibling = end of fun stuff” which isn’t the best for sibling bonding.

DON’T COMPLAIN (WITHIN EARSHOT OF YOUR TODDLER) worked well as I was able to stay comfortably still while they ran around my room).

BE PREPARED FOR NEWBORN GIFTS People are incredibly generous when you have a baby, but toddlers often feel left out. Either stash the baby’s gifts away and open them later, or have a small supply of pre-wrapped gifts to bring out for your toddler if she seems to be struggling with this.

ENCOURAGE LITTLE HELPERS This doesn’t include running a bath or putting the baby to bed (tempting some days, I know!), but toddlers can certainly be asked to help in other ways, e.g. “Which do you think would be a better outfit for your baby brother today – this one or that one? Thanks for helping!” And, if you have a particularly helpful toddler at home, she can assist by passing you nappies, wipes, or joining you as you gently massage your baby together.

This is a huge change, and your toddler is monitoring everything you say and do to help her inform her own attitude towards this change. If you wake every morning complaining about how your new baby kept you awake all night (even if he did), and so it’s the baby’s fault that you’ve got no energy to jump on the trampoline, then your toddler will soon get a sense of a you-versus-baby dynamic and inevitably side with you. Instead, if you want your toddler to THINK positively about your baby, you’ll need to consciously SPEAK positively about your baby. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

SIBLING REVELRY

SPEND TIME ALL TOGETHER It’s great if you and your partner can at times spend one-on-one time with each of your children (known in our house as “dividing and conquering”). But it’s also important that you spend quality time with your toddler and baby together. Our favourite activity during this early stage was “smiling practice”. I explained to my toddler that babies need to learn everything – they even need to learn how to smile. Then, when our baby was happily awake, my toddler and I would gaze at her and smile. My toddler was proud of her role in teaching her younger sibling the art of smiling and when our baby finally smiled back at her, she was completely delighted.

QUALITY TODDLER TIME Just as it’s important to spend time together, it’s also important not to lose one-on-one time with your toddler. I would say to our baby as I was putting her to bed (ensuring that my toddler was within earshot) that it had been lovely spending time all together but that while she was asleep, and her big sister and I would now be spending some special “big kid time” together and that we would see her when she woke up. A great tip is to enjoy special time with your toddler, but to ensure that you save her very favourite activities for when her baby sibling is with you both. The risk of doing your toddler’s favourite activities only when the baby is asleep is that your toddler might soon assume that life would resemble some sort of blissful nirvana full of loving attention and favourite things, if only the baby would sleep forever…

MANAGING FEEDING TIME WITH TODDLERS AROUND As you’d remember, newborn babies take a long time to feed in the early days to weeks. Often mothers find this to be a difficult time, attempting to engage their toddlers while remaining stationary enough to feed their infants at the same time. A helpful idea is creating a box of “special feeding activities” that are only produced during the baby’s feeding time. This can include some new books, little toys, or puzzles. Again, it’s about creating that positive association about the baby in the mind of your toddler. If your toddler enjoys books, feeding time is the perfect time to have your child cuddle into your side while your baby feeds on the other, enjoying a book together.

TALK TO YOUR BABY ABOUT YOUR TODDLER Before I’d had my second child, I’d heard mothers describe feeling guilty for gazing at their babies in front of their toddlers. Gazing at babies is incredibly important for bonding, but it also plays a critical role in their brain development. A lovely, easy way to have this time with your newborn is to gaze at your baby while you chat to him about his big sibling. Your new baby will only take in your eyes, your facial expression, and your tone. Your toddler will notice your words. It’s hard to be resentful if what your toddler hears is, “Gosh, I bet you can’t wait to grow up and play hide-and-seek with your big sister. She’s lots of fun, you know – I bet you’ve already worked that out though, haven’t you? You really love her.”

OUT AND ABOUT New babies are people magnets when in public. People you know and often people you don’t know will often comment on how lovely your baby is while failing to notice your attentive toddler. Even if your toddler doesn’t appear to notice, she probably will if you reply, “Thank you. She is lovely. And lucky too to have such a wonderful big sister.”

A WORD ABOUT PLAY Two things are important to mention here. The first is that your toddler might well want to role-play being either the parent or baby in her play. My children have all taken turns carrying around a toy baby in a capsule, worn baby slings fashioned out of scarves, and sat beside me and "breastfed" their dolls. It’s all perfectly normal, for both genders. Aggressive play is also normal. If your toddler is hurting a doll or imaginary baby in their play, it’s a good opportunity to acknowledge aloud that she seems to be feeling angry towards the baby. Play provides a wonderful opportunity for children to make sense of the changes in their life and communicate their difficulties with you. As long as it’s clearly understood that real aggression towards your real baby is not okay.

UNDERSTAND THE FEELINGS BEHIND YOUR TODDLER’S BEHAVIOURS Some toddlers are able to express their feelings in words. Others will communicate their distress through their behaviours. This is a challenging time for your toddler and while they need limits, they also need your understanding.

Enjoy this stage for what it is Lastly, enjoy this life stage. There will be days when it will seem like a major achievement that you all survived. But I’m quite convinced that no-one ever lies on their death bed wishing that they’d had more sleep. Rather, it seems more likely that people reflect back on these years and wished that they had cherished them. 94

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Whatever touches their skin, should feel as gentle as your hugs.

Every baby is different, but there’s one thing they all have in common. Their skin is up to 10x thinner than adults. That’s why we’ve designed new HUGGIES ULTIMATE® Nappies. It’s our best care for skin, our most breathable and our softest nappy ever. With a unique DRYTOUCH® layer with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, it’s the hug that looks after their skin while they wear it. HUGGIES ULTIMATE® Nappies are clinically proven to help prevent nappy rash, are endorsed by Plunket and have the same trusted absorbency and protection that you expect from all HUGGIES® Nappies. Also available in Nappy-Pants.

There’s nothing like a hug ® Registered Trademark Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW.

50 shades of poo

So you’ve never actually changed a nappy before, and you’re not sure if what you’re seeing in there is, well… Normal? Welcome to the wacky world of baby poo.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

GREENISH-BLACK, TARLIKE, STICKY, RESEMBLES MOTOR OIL When you’ll see it: Within the first 24

hours of birth What it is: Meconium – this is newborn poo which is made up of amniotic fluid, mucous, skin cells, and other things your baby was ingesting in the womb (best not to think too much about it). It can be hard clean, so bring lots and lots of baby wipes with you to the birthing centre or hospital. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

ARMY-ISSUE GREEN

When you’ll see it: Two to four days

after birth What it is: Transitional poo – this is poo you’ll see once your baby starts digesting breast milk or formula, and it indicates that his or her intestinal tract is working.

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WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

YELLOW OR SLIGHTLY GREENISH, MUSHY, RUNNY, SEEDY OR CHEESY-LOOKING

When you’ll see it: If your baby is breastfed What it is: Healthy breastfed baby poo

– you’ll see this poo at least once a day until your baby is about a month old, and after this, it will be pretty variable. Some breastfed babies poo at every feed, and others poo every seven to 10 days (although this sounds awesome, the poo, when it comes, tends to be a poonami that goes everywhere. Consider yourself warned).

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

BROWN, PEANUT BUTTERY, PASTELIKE

When you’ll see it: If your baby is formula-fed What it is: Healthy formula-fed baby poo – and you’ll see every shade on the brown colour spectrum, from tan to yellow to greeny-brown. Formula-fed babies usually poo every day or every second day, and their poos tend to be a bit firmer-formed. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

BROWN OR DARK BROWN, MUSHY, THICKER THAN PEANUT BUTTER When you’ll see it: If your baby has

started on solid foods What it is: Healthy poo of a baby who is eating solids is firmer and a bit more adult-like. It’s smellier, too. However, if you see hard pellets or very soft, runny diarrhoea, your baby may either be constipated or ill.

YOUR GUIDE TO #2s

Troubleshooting WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

BRIGHT GREEN, FROTHY, ALGAE-LIKE When you’ll see it: If your baby is breastfed and is getting too much foremilk What it is: Foremilk is the low-kilojoule milk which comes first when you’re breastfeeding. If your baby isn’t getting enough of your hindmilk – the higher-fat stuff that comes later on – she might not be feeding enough at each breast. Try starting feeding her on the breast you finished with last time. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

BLACKISH

When you’ll see it: If there’s digested

blood in the poo What to do: If your baby is past the meconium stage and has been having normal poos, and you see this colour, it’s a reason for pause. If your baby is getting an iron supplement, their poo may be greenish-black or black, but if not, this colour of poo may indicate that your baby has digested blood in their poo. Get in touch with your GP straightaway. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

YELLOW, GREEN, BROWN, AND VERY WATERY When you’ll see it: When your baby is unwell What to do: Diarrhoea can sometimes leak out of the sides or up the back of a nappy because it’s so watery. It occurs when your baby isn’t well and can be a sign of an infection or allergy. Some babies get diarrhoea when they are teething, too. If your baby has more than two or three diarrhoea-filled nappies, it’s time to take him to the GP, as untreated diarrhoea can lead to dehydration. H ow c a n s o m

ethin

HARD PELLETS

When you’ll see it: If your baby

is constipated What to do: Constipation often occurs when babies are being introduced to solid foods, as their digestive systems adjust to processing these new nutrients. Your baby might be uncomfortable or straining to poo when passing these little “rabbit plops”. Constipation can also be a sign of a milk or soy protein sensitivity, or an intolerance to something in their breastmilk or formula. One or two constipated nappies aren’t a big deal, but more than this means it’s time to call the GP. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

GREENISH, SLIMY, MUCOUSY When you’ll see it: If your baby is drooly or has an infection or allergy What to do: Sometimes if your baby is particularly drooly, like when he’s teething, his poo can be streaked with undigested saliva. However, mucous is also a sign of an allergy or infection, particularly if your baby is showing any other symptoms. If you’re seeing poos like this for more than a day or two, call the GP. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

RED, OR STREAKED WITH RED BLOOD When you’ll see it: When something is wrong What to do: If your baby’s poo has blood in it, even if the poo is healthy or your baby seems fine, take her to the GP straightaway. It may be a sign of something more serious. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

t be so stin

k y?

PALE GREY, WHITE, OR VERY LIGHT AND CHALKY When you’ll see it: When something is wrong What to do: It’s not normal for your baby to have poo that is grey, white, or very light and chalky. Take him to the GP straightaway to get it checked out.

BLOODY POO Bright red blood can show up in your baby's stools for a few different reasons. Call your doctor if you notice: + Normal poo tinged with red blood, which is often a sign of a milk protein allergy. + Constipated poo with a hint of red blood. This is likely to be a result of tears in the anus or tiny haemorrhoids. + Diarrhoea mixed with red blood, which can indicate a bacterial infection. Sometimes the blood in a baby's stool looks black, which means it's been digested. When this digested blood appears in a baby's nappy — usually in little flecks that look like black poppy or sesame seeds — it's often because the baby is breastfed and swallowing blood from Mum's cracked and bleeding nipples. While this is a sign that you need some pain relief, it doesn't pose a threat to your baby. Still, you should call the doctor to make sure it's not something more serious, like bleeding from your baby's upper intestinal tract. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

SMART POLICY

e c n a r u s s a e h T of insurance

With everything you've got going on, health insurance may be completely off your radar. Here’s why pregnancy is the perfect time to ensure you’re insured, explains Emma Hay.

t was November when a small pink spot appeared on my 15-month-old son’s forehead. Within a few weeks, it had grown and was thought to be a trapped hair follicle. However, as Christmas loomed, it was 2cm wide and still growing. Easily caught, the growth would bleed profusely, which was a very scary experience for everyone. We were referred to a specialist and at the appointment three weeks later, he took one look at our son and immediately recognised a pyogenic granuloma. Christmas was just a week away but, by some miracle, the specialist booked our son in for surgery just a few days later. It was a fairly traumatic experience to watch my young son go into surgery, but the medical team were amazing and, in no time at all, he was out and recovering with an ice block, just in time for Santa. We always like to think that these things won’t happen to our family, but medical maladies are common in children. By age three, up to 80% will have had an acute middle ear infection, and up to 80% will have had acute tonsillitis. Thankfully, New Zealand has an amazing healthcare

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system. Unfortunately, it does not have unlimited resources. When it comes to priority, an earache or sore throat is probably not top of the list in a crowded public health system. The only reason we could get my son sorted before Christmas was because of health insurance. I’m grateful that we could quickly sort the issue and get back on track. My husband and I also have health insurance because we are a family working together and it’s important that we are also healthy and well so we can keep playing our part in our little team. Let’s be honest, when it comes to looking at health insurance, it can be complicated and overwhelming. It’s hard to know what might happen in the future and what you might have to plan for. Here are some key things to consider when looking: • What is your budget and what can you afford to cover?

Health insurance can be expensive, so you need to think about what type of cover you want to take out. Do you want to be covered for bigger things such as surgeries, or for specialist consultations and tests too? You can pay less in premiums per month by taking out a higher excess, but be aware that you will have to contribute the amount you take out in excess at the time of claim. • Cheaper isn’t always better, but neither is more expensive. Think about the things that are important to you to be covered. Some providers will only pay out after a certain period, some won’t cover certain procedures or post-operative services and some may try to entice you with cover for complicated technological procedures that may not be better than a simple operation. • Do you have pre-existing conditions? Getting your children onto health insurance early helps to avoid not being covered for conditions that happen along the way. Check out companies which allow you sign up newborns without having to declare previous health conditions. Some companies will put a lifelong exclusion on for certain health conditions so you can’t claim for them, and others may put an exclusion only for a set period. It’s worth shopping around for quotes and asking questions early. • Do you have a preferred provider? If it is a priority for you to see a provider you choose rather than one that your insurance company mandates, then make sure that they are covered by the policy you are looking at or look for a policy that doesn’t have preferred providers. • Are there additional benefits? Some policies will come with a benefits programme that may be of great value to you and your family. Look for discounts and additional cover on other types of insurance, local businesses and practitioners, loyalty rewards, and more. It can be hard to read through the policy documents. If it feels overwhelming, ask friends and family for advice or speak to a financial advisor who specialises in health insurance. Just like if you were taking out a mortgage, be sure to inform yourself as best you can. The solution that’s right for you may not be for others.

IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO PLAN AHEAD AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

“MY NAPPY NEEDS CHANGING!”

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Most babies are only really bothered by a dirty nappy if they are also tired. If they are particularly squirmy or grizzly, it is worth checking that their nappy is clean.

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TEARS & FEARS

Decoding your baby’s cries Newborns cry because they don’t have any other way to tell us what they need or if something is wrong. But how are you supposed to understand them when you don’t speak their language? Katie Thomas explains.

he first ever cry from your newborn is a relieving and joyous moment. It signifies a healthy baby with a strong set of lungs. But over the first few weeks of your baby’s, life this feeling of relief may grow into frustration and worry. Persistent and inconsolable newborn crying can quickly overwhelm your home and your sanity! Here are some vital points to understand about newborns and their cries that will help you and your baby to communicate with each other more effectively.

AT THE DROP OF A HAT A newborn baby is unable to process his/her senses in the same way we adults can, meaning every slight change in their environment can be an overwhelming experience. Crying is a newborn’s top form of communication. It is the only way your newborn knows how to communicate his/her wants and needs; therefore, crying whenever they are feeling anything, be it hungry, tired, or just bored, is completely normal. Although crying is normal during this time, endless hours of unexplained crying is not. If your gut instinct is telling you something isn't right, do not be embarrassed to ask for help. It takes time, patience, and practise to distinguish your baby’s cries and for you both to learn about each other.

INTERPRETER NEEDED Even if you are not first-time parents, each baby will display different cries and it will take time to differentiate them and figure out their needs. Some babies have a variety of cries for whatever they are trying to communicate, while others seem to have one angry scream for every occasion. Taking note of your baby’s activity and feeds during the day can help to figure out the root of the crying, as well as the actual cry itself. Here is a list of the most common reasons why your newborn will cry, and what they may be looking and sounding like.

“I’M HANGRY!” Hunger is generally the first and most obvious thought when a baby cries. When did they last feed? Could they be hungry? Having some sort of feeding schedule in place can help with this confusion. If the words “routine” and “schedule” scare you, even just taking note of the time and length of each feed can help you to figure out the cause of crying. A hunger cry might sound rhythmic, desperate, builds in intensity and at

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a medium pitch. Other common signs are rooting when something touches their cheek/face, sucking on fingers, opening and closing mouth, squirming around, and moving their head from side to side. There is nothing wrong with offering your newborn a top-up feed if you are unsure if the cry is due to hunger or not. During the early days, it is vital for your milk supply to have your baby feeding from you frequently; but if every cry results in them being fed, you might be missing their tired cues. If they are just sucking for comfort and are not swallowing, it could be tired or overtiredness, which is commonly confused for hunger.

“I NEED SLEEP!” A tired cry can start off with a little grizzle and build slowly in intensity, into quite a distressed cry. There are other signs to look out for when a baby is tired, such as yawning, an absent stare, eyes looking a little red, glassy, and puffy, rubbing of eyes, and jerky movements. Settle baby down to sleep when they show any tired signs, to prevent them becoming overtired.

Postnatal depression (PND) is a serious and overwhelming form of depression that affects 10-15% of new mothers. If you ever feel like you have reached your limit and you are not coping, it is so important that you reach out for help. No one should suffer in silence. Put your baby down in a safe place and move away to take a breather and think about what to do next. Your partner, family, or friends can be a comforting ear and extra pair of hands, and talking to your healthcare provider (GP, midwife, or Plunket nurse) will be helpful. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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TEARS & FEARS “I’M OVERWHELMED!”

“I’m overtired!”

It will be harder to settle your baby to sleep if they are overtired. Their brain is on overdrive, and falling into a deep sleep is a lot harder to do. An overtired cry can start as irregular fussing, but if not settled to sleep, it can become similar to that of being in pain: Back arching, knees up, grabbing at ears/scratching face, and may appear very distressed. If your baby has been awake longer than the time they should be, make it a priority to settle them to sleep, to try to avoid a tricky cycle of overtiredness.

“I’m bored!”

It is important to ensure your baby is having the right amount of awake time and stimulation for their age. Talk to your healthcare provider if you are unsure about this timing. A “not tired enough” or bored cry might be a whiny and frustrated grizzle, rather than a distressed cry. A change of scenery should stop the fussing.

ONLINE RESOURCES FOR MUMS: • plunket.org.nz • mothersmatter.co.nz • postnataldistress.co.nz • depression.org.nz • mentalhealth.org.nz • mothershelpers.co.nz

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Newborns can only handle a certain amount of stimulation. They are very sensitive to noise, smell, and touch. With their senses on overdrive, it’s important to be aware of the environment they are in. An overwhelmed cry may begin as fussy-sounding and gradually escalate; a shrieking noise is common, as they try to block out all of the background noise, and in older babies, often they may start hysterically laughing. You may notice they turn their head and body away from the noise or stimulation. Moving them away from the environment before they become distressed is a good idea.

“I’VE GOT WIND!” Crying because of wind, reflux, or digestive pain – constipation, needing to poo, or having a bit of a sore tummy from overfeeding – will come on suddenly, being high volume, high pitched, panicked, rhythmic, and intense, causing baby to become breathless. It may be accompanied with an arched back, knees up, and grabbing at their face and ears. Soothing baby with cuddling and rocking, offering a finger or dummy to suck on, and holding them in an upright burping position should all be helpful for this.

“I’M TOO HOT/COLD!” Newborn babies don’t have the ability to regulate their own temperatures. If your baby is too cold, they will cry in discomfort and you may notice a quivering bottom lip, goosebumps on their skin, shivering, and their extremities feel cold to touch. If your baby is too hot, they will whine and maybe start panting instead of regular breathing. They will feel hot to touch and may look red and blotchy. Take your baby’s temperature if you are concerned it could be a fever. A general rule to follow is to dress your baby in one layer more than you have on yourself.

HELPLINES FOR MUMS:

• Plunketline – 0800 933 922 • Healthline – 0800 611 116 • Depression helpline – 0800 111 75

“I NEED REASSURANCE!” If your baby has been startled by a loud noise or sensation, or is craving contact and cuddling, the usual baby coo noises become a fussy grizzle or sudden cry out, until your baby is picked up and cuddled.

“SOMETHING ITCHES! SOMETHING HURTS!” If your baby is itchy, or has a mild pain, they’ll make a whiny, frustrated cry that builds in intensity if not solved. Check all over baby to ensure there are no visible physical issues, such as a hair caught/wrapped around a little finger or toe, a tag on clothing, itchy fabric, or even just the way they’re being held could have been causing discomfort.

“I’M SERIOUSLY NOT FEELING WELL.” If your baby is seriously unwell or in pain, their cry will generally be inconsolable, panicked, and high-pitched from pain, but could also be a soft, endless whimpering sound if they are exhausted and ill. Look out for other symptoms that are out of the ordinary, check your baby’s temperature, and contact your health care provider immediately if you are concerned.

THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION Often it is a process of elimination to decode a newborn’s cries. Keeping track of feed and sleep times throughout the day will be a huge help in figuring out what your baby is trying to communicate. Here are some helpful soothing tips to try: • Massage their tummy in gentle clockwise circles • Try a dummy • Swaddle • Play white noise • Dim lights • Go for a walk in the pram • Run a warm bath • Cuddle Most important is for YOU to take a deep breath. Babies are highly sensitive and pick up on panic and anxiety. Staying calm during and knowing when to ask for help are vital. A screaming, unsettled baby is extremely stressful for the carer, emotionally and physically, and it is important to realise your baby is just trying to communicate with you.

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Express yourself If you’re thinking about expressing breast milk, you may not know where to begin. Here’s our guide to FAQs about expressing breast milk.

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How do I express breast milk?

ANSWER: Breast milk is expressed either by hand or using a breast pump. Breast pumps can be either hand-operated or electric. Some women find it easier to express milk by hand in the early days as your breasts become more used to the feelings of let-down and milk flowing, and as your nipples become accustomed to their role. Hand-expressing gives you the ability to encourage milk to flow from particular parts of your breast – depending on where you place the hand which is doing the expressing, you can massage particular ducts, which is particularly helpful if one of your milk ducts is blocked.

PUMP IT UP

Answer: If you’re expressing breast milk by hand, here’s the process: • Wash your hands with soap and water, and ensure your breasts are clean too. • Have a clean, sterilised container to hand before you start. • Cup your breast and feel back from the end of the nipple to where the texture of your breast feels different. • Using your thumb and the rest of your fingers in a C shape, gently squeeze this area (this shouldn't hurt). • Release the pressure and then repeat again and again, building up a rhythm. Avoid sliding your fingers over the skin. At first, only drops will appear, but just keep going, as it will help build up your supply. With practice and a little more time, milk will flow freely. • When the flow slows down, move your

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OKAY, BUT HOW DO I ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY EXPRESS THE MILK?

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Answer: Expressing breast milk means squeezing milk from your breasts so that you or someone else can feed it to your baby. You may express breast milk if: • You are going to be away from your baby; for example, if you’re having a date night with your partner and getting a babysitter (hooray!), if you’re going back to work and your baby will be in childcare, if your baby is unwell, or if your baby is in special care (if your baby is premature or in hospital, for example). • You want to boost your milk supply. • You want to build up a supply of frozen breast milk for future use. • Your partner will be feeding your baby. • Your breasts are engorged (uncomfortably full and swollen). • Your baby isn’t able to suck from the breast, but you want them to have breast milk.

WHAT DOES “EXPRESSING” BREAST MILK MEAN?

fingers around (still in the C shape) to try a different section of your breast, and repeat. When that flow slows down, swap to the other breast. Keep changing breasts until the milk is dripping very slowly or stops completely. • If the milk doesn't flow, try moving your fingers slightly towards the nipple or further away, and try a gentle breast massage.

WHAT ABOUT BREAST PUMPS? Answer: There are two different types of breast pump: Manual (hand-operated) and electric. Different pumps suit different women, so ask for advice or see if you can try or rent one to try before you buy. Generally speaking, manual pumps are cheaper, but may not be as quick as an electric one. You can get single pumps, which allow you to express from one breast Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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What about expressing breast milk if my baby is premature or ill? ANSWER: If your baby has to stay in hospital, it is important to start expressing breast milk as soon as possible after your baby is born. In order to ensure that you produce plenty of milk, you will need to express at least eight times over 24 hours, including during the night. Ask the hospital staff about holding your baby skin-to-skin. This can help with bonding and keeping up your milk supply. If you are freezing your milk because your baby is premature or ill, ask the staff caring for your baby for advice on storage – there should be a fridge and freezer available on the ward for you to use.

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at a time, or double pumps, which allow you to express from both breasts simultaneously. You can purchase a breast pump from baby stores, department stores, pharmacies, and online maternity stores. Look for a reputable brand which also sells replacement parts separately, just in case.

AND HOW DO I EXPRESS USING A BREAST PUMP? Answer: Expressing breast milk using a breast pump is a bit different to hand-expressing, although most modern breast pumps are designed to try to mimic the way your baby would suck from your breast. • Ensure that your breast pump and milk collection container are clean and sterilised before using. Check out the instructions that came with your breast pump, as they all work slightly differently. • Ensure your hands and breasts are clean before starting. • Position the funnel of the breast pump over your breast. You may need to move it around to find the best spot to most effectively extract the milk. • The suction strength can be altered on some electric pumps. Start with low, gentle suction and build up slowly. Setting the strength to high straightaway may be

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WHAT IF...

MY BREASTS ARE TOO SMALL? Size doesn't matter when it comes to expressing. Some of the smallest breasts produce the largest quantities of milk!

painful or damage your nipples. • You may also be able to get different funnel sizes to fit your nipples. The pump should never cause bruising or catch your nipple as it is sucked into the funnel.

IS THERE A BEST TIME TO EXPRESS BREAST MILK? Answer: It may be easier to try to express breast milk in the morning, when your breasts feel fuller. But the best time to express is when you feel relaxed and calm, and when you have time to sit down and give expressing your attention. When you’re busy, in a hurry, stressed out, or having a tough day, expressing can feel like a chore – try to treat the time you’re expressing milk as a break for you, and sit down with a glass of water and a snack and relax.

WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP MY BREAST MILK FLOW WHEN I’M EXPRESSING? Answer: Here are some ideas: • Sit upright. It will help your breasts to fall into a natural position and may also help you to pump more milk. • Try to relax. If you’re calm and chilled out, your breast milk will let down more easily. • Drink water. Keep a big glass of water or a water bottle nearby and drink it throughout your expressing session. • Keep a photo of your baby nearby, or your baby himself! Looking at a photo of him, or at your baby, may help your milk to flow. • Breastfeed on one side and pump on the other. This can be tricky, but some mums swear by it! • Take a warm bath or shower beforehand – sometimes it can help with let-down.

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HOW SHOULD I DEFROST FROZEN BREAST MILK? Answer: The best way is to defrost frozen breast milk slowly in the fridge. But if you need to use it straightaway, you can defrost it by putting the container in a larger container or bowl of warm water, or holding the frozen container under a warm tap until the milk has thawed. Don’t defrost it by putting it into the microwave. And once defrosted, don’t refreeze any leftover milk.

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I thought only mum had the good stuff on tap...

HOW SHOULD I WARM UP EXPRESSED BREAST MILK? Answer: If your baby doesn’t mind cold breast milk, you can feed it to him straight from the fridge, or you can warm it to body temperature by putting the container into a bowl of warm water, or holding the container under a warm tap. Before feeding your baby, swirl the container of milk to mix the fat portion in and distribute the heat evenly. Check the temperature of the milk by shaking a few drops onto the inside of your wrist. It should feel warm to the touch before you give it to your baby – not hot. Any leftover, undrunk milk should be used within an hour, and anything leftover after that needs to be tipped down the sink. TIP: Never use a microwave to heat up or defrost milk. It can cause hot spots and uneven heating in the milk, which can burn your baby’s mouth. It also destroys some of the milk’s immunological components.

WHAT DO I DO IF I’M HAVING TROUBLE EXPRESSING?

HOW SHOULD I STORE EXPRESSED BREAST MILK? Answer: You can store expressed breast milk in a sterilised container or in breast milk storage bags. Expressed breast milk can be stored in the back of the fridge – the coldest part – for up to 48 hours. It can be stored in the freezer for three to six months, and in a deep freeze for six to 12 months. Make sure you date and label

expressed breast milk before storing it. And never add freshly expressed breast milk to previously expressed refrigerated or frozen breast milk – once it’s expressed and in a sealed container, it needs to stay that way until you use it. TIP: Don’t store breast milk in the door of the fridge as it’s not cold enough and is vulnerable to temperature fluctuations as the fridge door opens and closes.

GO AHEAD, ASK US ANYTHING!

Answer: Before you start to express breast milk, have a chat to your midwife or LMC, who can give you some handy advice and information. And if you’re having difficulty expressing once you’ve started, your midwife, LMC, or Plunket nurse can give advice. You can also contact your nearest La Leche League for advice and assistance. Remember that it takes time to get the hang of expressing breast milk, so give yourself some time to learn what you’re doing. If you’re having trouble getting more than a trickle of breast milk during an expressing session, try expressing at different times of the day.

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PUMP IT UP SIMPLICITY ITSELF Clever and easy to use. Haakaa Silicone Breast Pump RRP$29.90 and Lid RRP$9.90 from Breastmates

KEEP LEAKS AT BAY Different thicknesses for daytime and nighttime. Avent Disposable Breast Pads RRP$11.99 for 30 (Day) and RRP$10.99 for 20 (Night)

DUAL EFFICIENCY For high-use, long-term pumping. Unimom Forte Double Pump RRP$255 from Breastmates OH SO ADAPTABLE Everything you need to express, warm, and feed. Adapter set lets you use with most breast pump brands. Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Express & Go Starter Kit RRP$59.99

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Your essential breastfeeding companion Breast milk is, without doubt, best for your baby’s start in life. Our range of breast pumps are designed to help you in your breastfeeding journey, making it easier and as comfortable as possible to give your baby all the goodness of your breast milk for longer.

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TIME MANAGEMENT

This frazzled mum needs a hot bath and a cuppa, stat!

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I don’t know how she does it! Do you have a newborn and older kids in the house? How do you get anything done at all? Mum-of-six and productivity guru Robyn Pearce, aka The Time Queen (gettingagrip.com), has good advice for overworked, overloaded, and stressed-out mums.

ou’re just home from hospital with your new bundle of joy, or if it was a home birth, the initial flurry has died down and now you’re on your own. Whether it’s your first baby or there are already other fledglings in the nest, every mother knows it can feel somewhat overwhelming when the support has dispersed. Picture this. The nearly-toilet-trained toddler needs to poo, the baby is starving, the older kids are fighting over toys, and you’re so tired you can’t even think straight. Daddy is due home in an hour and dinner hasn’t even hit your radar. Yesterday’s clothes are piled up in a huge mountain in the lounge, today’s washing still needs to come off the line, and the vacuum cleaner you optimistically pulled out this morning has been sitting forlornly in the hall all day. Sound familiar? Here are some lifeline strategies I used when raising my six children.

Hire a student for the hell hour

One of the best pieces of advice I ever had as a young mother was from my doctor. “Hire a schoolgirl for the Hell Hour,” he said, when he noticed me looking exhausted. We were a one-income family (and a very small income at that). Money was scarce. However, his advice was appealing, so I counted my pennies and rearranged our priorities. A couple of enquiries uncovered Leonie, a helpful 14-year-old from just along the road. For the next six months, while the current baby was small and I was in that particularly overwhelmed state, Leonie hopped off the school bus every afternoon at our place instead of hers. She would grab a sandwich for afternoon tea and then work solidly for an hour.

It was fantastic. She did anything I needed: Bringing in the washing (or sometimes putting it out!); bathing the bigger kids; peeling potatoes; picking up toys; even the ironing. An extra pair of hands was the lifesaver I needed. Having that extra pair of hands is great not only for frazzled mothers, but also for contributory dads who aim to get home early enough to be involved with their small children’s bedtime. Some of the routine tasks will have been handled, and they’re more likely to arrive home to a calmer house and a less exhausted wife. You might not have a Leonie, but here are some sources of help: • Could you use the help of a student? • What about a cleaner for two to three hours a week/fortnight? They whiz through the basics faster than you, because they’re focused on one thing. • Have you ever thought of sending out the ironing? See if you can find a local ironing service that picks up and drops off from your house. (Or buy wrinkle-free linen and garments.) • If you can’t afford help on a weekly or fortnightly basis, consider hiring a home or garden “spring cleaner” as needed for big jobs like cleaning the windows and oven, chopping back trees, or unclogging the gutters. • What about a reliable student or older relative to run bigger kids to after-school activities? • Lawns aren’t your thing? High school kids are always looking for cash. • Do your shopping online – let your fingers do the walking (around the supermarket website). We don’t need to do everything. Those would-be super-parents are often exhausted and burned out. We’re in this for a long time, not a perfect time. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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Get older children to share the load

I’m a great advocate of making older kids responsible for their share of the chores so they learn to be responsible adults. Maybe some of their pocket money is linked to satisfactory performance of certain household tasks. Many families make a household duty roster and place it on the fridge door. If you’ve got littlies, the list might be pictorial. Bigger children can be involved in helping create the list. Include cooking, bathroom tidy-up, rubbish, pets, and dishes. Even threeand four-year-olds can make a contribution – and you’re teaching them lifelong habits. It’s also a great way to save arguments about whose turn it is.

Share meal preparation

A five-year-old can set the table, wash vegetables, and rip up lettuce for a salad. Kids as young as seven or eight can prepare a simple meal with minimal supervision. Tinned soup and cheese on toast tastes pretty good if you’re tired and you don’t have to cook it yourself. Children actually take pride in having responsibility for such a “grownup” thing as dinner. It not only shares the load, but shares the kudos when dinner is delicious!

Do it the NIGHT BEFORE

What concurrent activity can you or the children do earlier in the evening? Perhaps whomever dries the dishes or unloads the dishwasher could set the table for breakfast after dinner is cleared away. Make lunches while you prepare the dinner. Or you might even make a week’s worth in one go. Ironing shirts, sewing on buttons, packing school bags, or finding a mysteriously vanished pair of trainers or pantyhose without a hole are all night-before jobs. Wait until morning and you’ll be stressed before you get out the door.

Consider nominating each family member to cook at least one meal every week. They don’t have to produce a gastronomic treat. Adopt the rule “If it’s on the table and it’s edible, it’s dinner!” Some families work as a team after dinner to clear the table, load the dishwasher, drop the tablecloth or place mats into the washing hamper, and wipe over the table. When you work as a team, the dining room and kitchen can be clean and tidy in less than 10 minutes.

focus and concentrated action. Tell yourself you’re just making a start. You’ll be amazed – you’ll achieve 80% of the results in 20% of the time. Put on a favourite CD and go as hard as you can for one song. This works wonders with kids, especially if you let them choose the song. You will be astounded at what you can achieve in three or four minutes, particularly if you have three or four pairs of hands working together for the same goal.

Squawking toddler? Focus!

Your toddler is asking for attention by clinging to you? Straightaway give him or her five to 10 minutes of your full attention. (They won’t need more.) It works a treat. You’ll then be able to walk away and focus on your own tasks while they carry on with their play.

Find a supply of good babysitters and optimise the time they’re in the house. You’re paying for their time anyway. Consider paying a little more if your sitter is prepared to do some small household jobs such as ironing, washing up, or making school lunches once the kids are in bed.

A fast start gets amazing results

Don’t try to squeeze everything in

Break the back of a big task with a fast

On minimising mess + To speed up

tidying, place a basket in the room you’re cleaning and put anything that doesn’t go in that room into it. Empty the basket once at the end. It’s FAST. When my six were little, despite our limited means, the kids still had a lot of toys, thanks to kind grandparents and other family members. However, the volume of toys created a big nightly tidy-up job – until we hit on a

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solution. We put half of them in storage and every few months swapped them over. The children loved being reunited with their half-forgotten favourites, the toy clutter was halved, and we saved time with less to put away. Try the 24-hour box. Catherine attended one of my talks. She’s a mother of five, a dairy farmer, a part-time teacher, and is involved in her community. She said, “I got sick of tidying

up after my children, so I decided to start a 24-hour box. If I find anything laying around, it goes in the box. After 24 hours, if no-one has claimed it and put it away, the ‘abandoned property’ goes in the rubbish. Once the system was fully in place, only a few precious items had to be thrown out before the lesson stuck. Now everyone takes responsibility for their stuff and the house stays pretty tidy.”

Babysitters

Make yourself a plan for the day, schedule your tasks, and stick to that list as closely as possible. If anything extra interrupts your plan, don’t try to squeeze everything in! Think about the plan (list) and simply cross out, postpone, or cancel the least important task.

Get ready first

Get yourself ready first before attending to the children. Teach them the same habit. When they’re ready, they can read, play, or do an approved activity they enjoy. If you find yourself often running late for appointments, stressed, flustered or behind the mark in some way, perhaps you’re not preparing early enough. Instead, at the beginning of the day or even the day before, make a mental checklist of the coming day’s activities. Lay everything out long before you need it, and then carry on with other tasks until it’s time to change activity. It’s such a simple thing, yet it takes away a huge amount of pressure. And don’t try and fit in too much. Give yourself permission to enjoy the time your babies are small. It passes fast!

With over 270 centres set up to encourage exploration and discovery across New Zealand, BestStart has been providing quality education and childcare to New Zealand’s youngest for over 20 years. We welcome families to come and see our wonderful centres and meet our dedicated teams today.

Tiny spaces Designing your baby's nursery is one of the prime joys of pregnancy. Here are some little things we can't live without.

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ROOM TO GROW

5 Nifty nursery tech

BABY GADGETS HAVE COME A LONG WAY, AND WE LOVE THESE THREE USEFUL NURSERY ACCESSORIES WITH A DIGITAL EDGE. SOOTHE & CALM The ST1000 Safe & SOund Portable Soother by VTech attaches to almost anything and playslullabies and gentle sounds. RRP$50, auphones. vtech.com/nz for stockists

SEE MORE Stay close to baby with the Vtech BM3500 Safe & Sound Pan & Tilt Video Monitor, with a camera that pans up to 270°. RRP$250, auphones. vtech.com/nz for stockists

CRYSTAL CLEAR The Philips Avent SCD620 Digital Video Baby Monitor lets you to maintain a secure and private connection with your baby at all times. RRP$499, philips.co.nz for stockists

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1. Modern Burlap Muslin Swaddles RRP$37.95 each from WIllow Design 2. Designer Cushion RRP$31.95 from Adairs 3. River Kippin Comfort Toy RRP$39.95 from Willow Design 4. Gentle Motions Bassinet and Stand in Espresso RRP$357.99 from Cariboo 5. Co-Ko Rocker RRPAU$1,350 from olliella.com.au 6. Teepees RRP$62.95 each from Adairs 7. Done by Deer Baby Swaddle Two-Pack RRP$34.95 from WIllow Design 8. Mister Fly Everything Blanket in Lion RRP$69.95 from Willow Design 9. Icecream Bouquet Wall Decal $120.75 to $184 (depending on size) from The Vinyl Room 10. Pom Pom Garland RRP$38.45 from Adairs

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Capture the moment We all know how quickly our little ones grow and change. Children's portraitist Julia True understands the value of capturing precious moments as they pass. She has found a niche recording the beauty, innocence, and expression of children in original portraiture. Prices start at $200. Instagram: @thejuliatrue or thejulztrue@gmail.com

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Always close to your baby. The Philips Avent SCD 620 Video Monitor enables you to maintain a secure and private connection with your baby at all times. Hear your baby with perfect sound quality and see them in crystal clear vision, whether it is day or night. With the freedom of up to 10 hours of cordless monitoring, a convenient talkback function and 5 soothing lullabies, you can connect with your baby and soothe them back to sleep, from anywhere around the home.

SCD 620 Video Monitor

www.philips.co.nz/avent www.facebook.com/Philips.Avent.NewZealand

COOCHYCOO SLEEP GOWN $57.95 from coochycoo.co.nz)

S le ep gow n s

Practical and super-cute, the elasticated bottom and envelope neck make this lovely merino baby gown an easy one for dads to get on and off – no fumbling with domes! It’s machine-washable and dryer-friendly too.

1. NATURE BABY MERINO SLEEPING GOWN ($79.95 from naturebaby.co.nz) Soft and breathable, this delicate fabric is perfect for the first few weeks and months of life. The buttoned front and drawstring closure make for easy nappy changing, while fold-down mitts keep little hands warm.

2. MERINO KIDS COCOOI GOWN ($79 from merinokids.co.nz) Made from 100% superfine merino wool, it comes in three sizes, including a newborn size which is ideal for prem babies. Cross-over neckline keeps fabric clear of baby’s face and safety mitts fold over hands. The pouch bottom is brilliant for nappy changes but keeps feet warm.

3. BABY CATERPILLAR SLEEP GOWN ($69.95 from babycaterpillar.com) With an envelope neck and generous length for plenty of kicking room, the drawstring bottom gives easy access. Machine washable and able to be tumbledried, it’s a great item for your hospital bag. Comes with a matching beanie.

4. BABY SLEEPYTIME OWL MERINO SLEEP GOWN ($59 from threebagsfull.co.nz) Soft and snuggly 200gsm 100% NZ merino, the extra-long length and envelope neck of this sleep gown will fit your baby up to a year old. The friendly owl print is just adorable!

5. SWEET CHEEKS MERINO NIGHTIE ($54.95 from sweetcheeks.co.nz) Generous, stretchy sizing to be comfortable and last longer, while the V-neckline makes for easier dressing and keeps fabric away from little faces. Fold-down mitts and a drawstring bottom for easy access and warm toesies.

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Counting sheep Winter is coming! Dress your baby in one of these snuggly little numbers, and layer sleeping gowns with sleeping bags for extra cosiness and warmth.

tip Why merino? Wool is naturally fire-resistant, breathable, and helps regulate your baby’s body temperature, so they won’t overheat. It’s odour-resistant so shouldn’t need to be washed as often as some other materials, yet it’s machine-washable and pretty easy to care for. It’s the perfect material for all seasons!

S le ep sack s 1. MERINO KIDS GO GO BAG DUVET WEIGHT SLEEPING BAG ($225 from merinokids.co.nz) For rooms between 15-20°C, this sleeping bag will take your baby from birth to age two with ease. 100% natural, with superfine merino lining to help regulate baby’s temperature, and an organic cotton outer layer. Armhole poppers adjust sizing, while the shoulder poppers and full-length zipper lets you lay the bag out flat for nappy changes or washing. Good for littlies with sensitive skin or eczema, it’s also hip-healthy, with a generously sized bottom half.

2. NATURE BABY ORGANIC COTTON AND MERINO SLEEPING BAG ($169.95 from naturebaby.co.nz) Perfect for temperatures between 18-23°C, this super-soft sleeping bag suits babies from birth to 24 months. With a handy seatbelt snap opening in the centre, it’s also got a two-way zip which extends almost the whole way around. In a variety of gorgeous prints, the merino lining and cotton exterior will keep your baby snuggly.

SNUGGLE UP

HO FOR BABIES W RMS NEED THEIR A SWADDLED

3. BABY CATERPILLAR WINTER WEIGHT SMALL SLEEPING BAG ($129.95 from babycaterpillar.co.nz) For newborns up to nine months, and great for babies who don’t like being swaddled or wrapped. (There’s also a three months to three years size for babies moving on from swaddling/ wrapping.) Can be used below 18°C provided your baby is wearing suitable pyjamas underneath. With a soft layer of NZ merino against the skin and a cotton outer layer, it’s like wearing a sheet and two blankets. Seam-free for itch-free comfort, with a full-length size zip.

4. SWEET CHEEKS MERINO WINTER SLEEPING BAG ($149.99 from sweetcheeks.co.nz) The unique three-layer system – 100% organic cotton on the outside, bamboo/ cotton duvet wadding in the middle, and super-soft 100% NZ merino on the inside – helps give your baby a cosy night’s sleep. Recommended for rooms between 16-22°C, it has optional seatbelt access and is machine washable. It also features adjustable arm openings.

Sleep Tight Baby: The Legs Out Swaddle ($39.90 from globalbaby.co.nz) Made from 100% cotton, this is brilliant for babies who need their arms to be securely swaddled in order to sleep. The ruched sides let them sleep with their arms up, in a natural position closer to what it was like in the womb. With easy snaps at both shoulders and the crotch, it’s simple to put on and do up. Layer it over merino pyjamas for a great winter option.

5. MERINO KIDS GO GO BAG SHERPA WEIGHT SLEEPING BAG ($249 from merinokids.co.nz) For the coldest nights (room temperatures between 12-18°C), the luxuriously soft, dense, innovatively designed merino fur lining is held together with a mesh of merino and extremely fine polyester threads to create a secure backing for plush merino wool creates a warm and snuggly micro-climate for your baby and acts as a buffer against changing room temperatures. The 100% certified organic cotton outer comes in cute stripes and spots and is super-soft to boot. Shoulder poppers, armhole poppers which adjust sizing, and a full-length zip make dressing and nappy changes easy. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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What your baby wants you to know about sleep Ignore everything you've heard about “training” your newborn to sleep, and take your lead from your baby’s cues, explains Elspeth Witton (TheBabySleepPractitioners.co.nz).

ost parents of newborns will receive all kinds of recommendations from well-wishers. This might include advice like not feeding your baby to sleep, or to delay your response to your baby's cues. And by adhering to this advice, you might finding your baby cries more and sleeps less, while your own anxiety levels go through the roof. Feeling stressed and tired, you might now be thinking of weaning your baby from breastfeeding, which seems too challenging on top of everything else. And you are not alone. So many approaches to improving baby sleep are outdated, often dominated by perspectives leftover from the 1950s and 1960s, and have unintended negative outcomes. One of the biggest flaws in such outdated advice is that it lacks trust in your baby's ability to communicate its basic needs, and doesn't support parents to use your own judgement and intuition in the care of your baby. It's important for you to know that this kind of advice does not significantly

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improve sleep patterns now or later down the track. Nor does it help you cope with an unsettled baby. I'm sure you would agree that every baby is very different. It's not helpful to offer you lists of averages of how long your baby should be asleep or awake, or what tired cues look like, or how often and for how long your baby should be fed. Some of your babies may fit into these averages, but many will not. So what do you do when your baby does not do what the averages suggest?

IGNORE THE RULES

Firstly, forget the lists and throw away the rulebook. Rules can stop us being open to what is happening in the here and now, making us become rigid, inflexible and lack creativity – and that's not healthy! Your baby can regulate its feeding, sleeping, and sensory needs, and communicate these to you. Over time, you will learn what your baby is trying to communicate and how to respond accordingly. When you feel like you are living “in the moment” and watching and learning with your baby, your day suddenly

becomes so much more enjoyable! Your focus can now be on just enjoying these precious moments with your new baby. But, of course, there are still important things to know about your baby's sleep, as well as differentiating the helpful from the unhelpful advice. Before we go any further, it can be reassuring to know that the ability to self-settle is a developmental milestone. Therefore, it is not something that can to be taught – we can't make babies sleep. What we can do is trust that babies will take all the sleep they need, provided that we remove any barriers that get in the way of healthy sleep regulation. There are many things that we know can make it harder for babies to regulate their sleep. These things include unidentified feeding issues, postnatal depression, or misalignment of your baby’s circadian rhythms (body clock). So what well-wishers may not understand when they say you should not let your baby fall asleep at the breast or bottle is that waking a baby when it has fallen asleep after a satisfying feed can contribute to crying, fussing, and sleep problems.

PILLOW TALK

17 HOURS

of sleep are needed by newborns, while six-monthold babies need 14 hours.

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Forget the rules

Developing healthy sleep habits with your newborn starts with learning from them, not a book.

Milk drunk Towards the end of a breastfeed, the cream concentration in your breast milk increases. This cream enters the gut, switching on hormones that make your baby feel satisfied, slowing the transition of milk through the gut, and calming their nervous system, leaving you with a relaxed, contented, and often sleeping baby (whom

many parents describe as “milk drunk”, as they’re so zoned out). Breastfeeding also satisfies your baby's hunger for sensory stimulation. Through physical closeness, caresses, and eye contact, the hormone oxytocin is released, triggering feelings of relaxation, safety, and trust. Your baby will be looking so deliciously relaxed by now,

you may be thinking. “I'm actually pretty good at this!” Together, these powerful biological processes will usually send a baby to sleep, whether at the breast or bottle, particularly if you baby has been awake for some time prior to the feed. This is all we want, right? So why would you wake them after a feed to play?

PILLOW TALK

RETURNING TO WORK IN THE FIRST 6 MONTHS? DO NOT WAKE THAT BABY

Interfering with sleepiness at the end of a feed by waking your baby interrupts the biological drivers of sleep. It is these lovely helpers from Mother Nature that we need to embrace, not override. Trusting your baby to regulate his or her sleeping and feeding needs is not setting up bad habits, but overlooking your baby's cues and ignoring your own intuition is. This is why I would recommend not imposing feed-play-sleep cycles in the hope that your newborn baby will learn to fall asleep without a feed or physical contact. Not only can this be stressful for your new born, it can also be stressful for parents. I challenge you to make to focus of your day being around enjoying your baby and having fun. You will find it so much easier to learn and grow with your baby. You will feel more relaxed, get better rest, and naturally fall into a pattern of cue-based caregiving, all of which can help your baby be more contended and happy.

IT ALL WORKS TOGETHER

This style of parenting actually embraces complexity, as modern health science does. Baby sleep, health, and wellbeing are made up of many fluid and dynamic interactions, so we need to aim to work with powerful biological forces, not against them. If you feel that there is a problem with your baby's sleep regulation, seeking professional help early can make a big difference.

DEVELOP A HEALTHY BODY CLOCK

• Get out of bed at around the same time every morning. There's no need to wake your baby if they're still sleeping, but do open the curtains to expose your baby to natural light. • Expose your baby to all the sights and sounds of your household during the day; have your baby sleep in your living area in daytime rather than in a quiet bedroom away from activity. • Avoid darkening rooms for day sleeps. • Aim to get outside every day; expose your baby to sunlight and fresh air – this is beneficial to do in the mornings.

Returning to work, no matter the age of your baby, can be a daunting prospect. While you are still in the newborn phase, it can be especially hard to picture a life where you get a good night's sleep and feel sane again! Rest assured that a lot changes with your baby's needs during and after the first 16 weeks. Provided that your baby has not had any barriers put in the way of developing healthy

sleep habits, you may find that at around 16 weeks, your baby is starting to self-settle, not feeding to sleep so often, getting the majority of their sleep at night, and a routine will be developing throughout the day and night. Strict routines can be stressful for newborns and parents, and may lead to crying, fussing, and sleeping problems. But even when avoiding strict routines, there

Sleep tips for babies 4-6 months

are many gentle ways you can work with your baby to establish a routine and promote more night sleep. Once your baby is around three to four months of age, their body clock has matured, and this means more sleep at night. Therefore, around this age is a great time to introduce some routine and structure to your day. This will help baby's rhythms develop in sync with your family's needs.

FLEXIBLE ROUTINE

This means developing good two-way communication and trust between baby and you. You can do this by sensibly responding to their needs as promptly as you can when baby is showing you a verbal or nonverbal cue for a particular need.

• Have a regular, predictable, and relaxing bath and bedtime routine at around the same time each day. • Avoid blue light from computer, phone, tablet, or TV screens before bed. • Create a regular but flexible routine during the day around your baby's feed and nap times. • Use sleep cue words and/or songs that you repeat to your baby every time you put them down to sleep. Your baby will start to associate these with sleep time. • Give your baby a cuddly or a small soft toy that is safe to have in their cot with them, so that your baby will associate this with relaxation, safety, and sleep.

PROVIDE A HEALTHY SENSORY DIET

DON'T ALWAYS ASSUME YOUR BABY IS HUNGRY

From four to six months, continue developing your baby’s healthy sleep habits by adding these tips to your repertoire.

PROVIDE CUE-BASED CARE

You can meet all of your baby's sensory needs with your own body with lots of cuddles, feeding (both breast and bottle), and talking. Plenty of tummy time, back time, nappy-free time, and the regular activity during your day is also great.

Demand-feed your baby, but make sure you have ruled out other causes of their unsettled behaviour. Don't always assume your baby is hungry! First, check that your baby is not too hot/cold, bored, needs a nappy change, wants a cuddle, or is just tired! Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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A bit of prep and you'll actually enjoy an outing with your baby.

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OUT AND ABOUT

Keep calm and carry on Attention, new mums: You can leave the house with your baby and live to tell the tale. But we know it’s a daunting prospect! Katie Thomas has tips to help you enjoy getting out and about with your baby.

etting out and about with your newborn can be a daunting thought, particularly if it is your first baby. Knowing what to bring, the best places to go, and then imagining all of the possible public baby meltdowns, can be overwhelming!

START SMALL

meaning they will gaze around at the change of environment for a little while and then hopefully fall asleep. If you're going to be out during feed time, just ensure your nappy bag is fully stocked with all of the necessities. Most new babies, thankfully, will sleep anywhere during the first few months; having a sleep cue that you use at home such as a shusher, swaddle, dummy, etc will help if they are a little unsettled.

overwhelmed? Moving away to a quieter, calmer space with your baby and trying to settle them there is the best option. Offer a top-up feed if you think it may help, or just some quiet cuddles and rocking might do the trick. If they seem to be getting inconsolable and you are unsure what to do, just head back home and try not to feel defeated. Every baby has its unsettled days, and sometimes outings during those times can just be too much for them. Try again another day and remember what was helpful and not helpful in the past.

Starting small and working your way up, while gradually building confidence in yourself and your baby, are the keys. Go for small walks within those first few weeks; fresh air and sunshine can make a world of difference to your state of mind. Fresh air is known to help improve babies’ sleep and helps to regulate their circadian rhythms. Meeting up with other mums or friends, doing a supermarket shop, a trip to the GP, or light shopping at the mall might be the next steps in your ventures out. Asking a friend or family member to join you on the first outings can be helpful if you are feeling particularly anxious about coping on your own.

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

IT’S ALL IN THE TIMING

IF YOUR BABY DOES GET REALLY UNSETTLED WHEN YOU ARE OUT, FIRST OF ALL, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING.

The timing of going out and about can make or break a successful outing. Newborns generally wake up hungry and wanting to be fed, so aiming to leave the house after a feed and change is ideal,

If your baby does get really unsettled when you are out, here are some handy tips to try and keep everyone calm. First of all, take a deep breath and don’t worry about what other people are thinking. Generally people are very understanding and can even be helpful. Accept help when it is offered, even if it is just somebody helping you with your shopping bags, or holding open a door for you; there is never anything wrong with asking for some assistance. Try to work out what is upsetting your baby. Could it be hunger, tiredness, overtiredness, pain, or are they simply just

SEEK OUT BABY-FRIENDLY OPTIONS There are some things out there that make life much easier for families with little ones. For example, supermarkets with trolleys that can hold a capsule in the front, or with two infant seats, or an infant and a toddler seat, or two toddler seats! These can be blessings when shopping with multiple children and/or a newborn. Make the most of those

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OUT AND ABOUT

parent carparks at malls and supermarkets; the wider spacing and front-row spots can make a huge difference. Also, parent rooms at malls and places like the zoo can be a lifesaver. They provide a seat for feeding your baby, a change station, and often a more spacious toilet that can fit a pram or a capsule.

JUGGLING ACT

GOT EVERYTHING? WHEN OUT AND ABOUT WITH YOUR BABY, YOU WANT TO ENSURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT NEED IN A NAPPY BAG. IT CAN BE EASY TO GO OVERBOARD AND TAKE HALF OF THE HOUSE WITH YOU, BUT THINK ABOUT HOW LONG YOU WILL BE OUT FOR AND WHAT YOU WOULD REALISTICALLY USE IN THAT TIME FRAME AT HOME. Here is a checklist of the necessities. Have these items ready to go even for small trips out, and ensure you restock after you’ve used anything: One nappy per hour you will be out, plus a couple of spares Wipes for nappy changes (and also handy for cleaning changing surfaces and hands etc) Changing pad; a lot of nappy bags will come with a reusable pad, otherwise they are cheap to buy, or some parents prefer the disposable ones Plastic nappy bags for dirty nappies (also good for soiled clothing or blankets) One spare full outfit, including a hat/sunscreen if it’s sunny, and a warm hat in colder months Clean dummy (if your baby uses one) Bottle/boiled water/formula if bottle-feeding Muslin/bib/cloth nappy – something to wipe up any spills Blanket for sleep time or for laying baby on to play

+ + + + + + + + +

Here is another list of extra items for the longer outings or times that you want to be more prepared. This will also do as a basic overnight or trip away bag for baby, with added nappies and clothing, of course: Shusher, swaddle, or sleep aid if your baby uses one Nappy rash cream Tissues Hand sanitiser Breastfeeding cover for privacy (if you use one) Breast pads Toys/books Nail clippers First aid kit, plasters/baby paracetamol Baby food and feeding spoons Bibs Sling or front pack

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

If you’ve got older children, this bag will also need: +

Snacks Water Spare undies A few appropriate toys A lot more wipes!

+ +

If you have older children who go to daycare or school, fitting a baby into the pick-ups and drop-offs can feel like a bit of a juggling act. Usually the second, third, and fourth babies of the family are very flexible and adjustable, as often they have no choice! If your older children go to a daycare or before/after school care with flexible drop-off and pick-up times, it can make things a lot easier; but even if you’ve got strict times you need to be at places, you can make it work. Keeping note of your baby’s feeding times during the day to ensure it’s not bang on pick-up or drop off will be helpful. If your baby is in a routine, you might need to make slight adjustments to work around your other schedules. Just when you feel like you’ve mastered the timing of it all, their feeding and sleeping schedule will shift, and you’ll have to adjust accordingly. As long as your baby is getting enough feeds, and doesn’t mind the odd nap on the go, there is nothing to panic about.

REACHING OUT Having people you can reach out to for help in stressful times is really important. It could be other mums that can take your older children to sports practice, drop them home after school, or someone who can be at home with the baby if you don’t want to disrupt their routine. However you do it, don’t feel guilty that you can’t be in three places at once. No one will hold it against you if you need to do an emergency feed in the car, or you miss one after-school activity. Do what you can, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

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OUT AND ABOUT

Time to go, baby!

WE LOVE IT!

Our picks of prams and accessories for baby's big day out. 1. Kippins Kitty Rattle RRP$22.95 from Willow Design 2. Bugaboo Bee5 Tone RRP$1,439 with Bassinet RRP$259.95 3. Nuna Mixx Mykonos RRP$999.99 from Baby on the Move, Dimples, MumMum, and Parnell Baby 4. WaterWipes RRP$7.99 5. Click-N-Go Travel Bottle Warmer RRP$30, babyfirst.co.nz for stockists 6. Stokke Xplory Black Melange RRP$1,999.99 from Dimples and MumMum 7. Ryco Willow Nappy Bag RRP$80 from Baby Factory 8. Baby Jogger City Tour RRP$499.99, babyfirst.co.nz for stockists 9. Done by Deer Activity Spiral RRP$44.95 from Willow Design

6 PURE & GENTLE Containing only 99.9% purified water and 0.1% fruit extract – nothing else – WaterWipes are perfect for baby's sensitive skin. Grab your free sample with this issue!

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COMING THIS YEAR

STOKKE: DESIGNED TO BE CLOSE STOKKE® HOME™ CONCEPT The Stokke® Home ™ concept lets you choose your preferred components from the product range to design your individual room setting. It is easy to rearrange the modules to suit your ever-changing needs as your baby grows. From birth to five years. Welcome to your new home! STOKKE® HOME™ BED A bed, a changing station, and a playhouse in one. Together with Cradle, Changer, and Dresser, the Bed offers countless possibilities for designing the perfect room for your newborn. A home within a home – especially for your baby. There is a range of textiles designed to create a protective and calm ambience for your baby, or a playhouse for your child. Not only is the concept ideal for your newborn as well as your growing child, but it is also flexible enough to be customised no matter the size of your nursery. Once it is safe for the baby to climb in and out of the Bed, you can remove one side panel for easy access. When your child outgrows the Bed around the age of five, you can continue using it as a sofa and playhouse. STOKKE® XPLORY® STROLLER The unrivalled height of the Stokke® Xplory® brings you and your baby closer. No matter where you’re going, you and your baby want to stay as close to each other as possible. The design of the Stokke® Xplory® stroller allows children and parents exceptional bonding, even while scooting around town together. At Stokke® we believe that physical contact creates emotional contact and strengthens emotional ties. Eye contact not only creates a feeling of safety, but increases the connection between parent and child. The Stokke® Xplory® stroller is part of the flexible Stokke® stroller system, with a lot of features and a wide color and accessories range.

FOR YOUR NEAREST STOCKIST, VISIT DESIGNERBABYBRANDS.CO.NZ OR FOR WHOLESALE ENQUIRIES, EMAIL OFFICE@DESIGNERBABYBRANDS.CO.NZ

50 The first year of your baby’s life is critical to his or her development. Here are 50 fun ways to stimulate their learning. TALK TO HIM. It doesn’t matter if you’re babbling in "babyese" or reading from this article, let your baby hear your voice as often as possible. HAVE CONVERSATIONS. Talk to your baby about what you’re doing, where you’re going, who you’re with, what he sees, what you see. Ask him questions and act like he’s answering. He’ll start to hear the rhythms of conversation. USE BABY TALK. Baby talk – those “goo goo, ga ga” sounds – are a precursor to speech, and babies love hearing it. SING IT. Not only is singing soothing to your baby, hearing music is linked to learning maths, so go ahead and sing along to the radio, sing lullabies, and make up silly songs. TICKLE! Laughter is the first step to developing a sense of humour, and babies can’t help but laugh when they’re being tickled – gently, though.

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ways to make your baby smarter

BABY UNI

No, fitting out your baby with Revenge of the Nerds-style specs won't help.

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MAKE EYE CONTACT

Babies recognise faces early on, when your baby is awake, look into her eyes. Every time she sees you, she’s building her memory.

PLAY GAMES. “This Little Piggy” or “The Incy Wincy Spider” rely on simple repetition which children learn to expect. Playing these games helps teach babies to anticipate things. CUDDLE WHILE FEEDING. Whether breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, hold your baby close to you to strengthen your bond, and sing songs, talk softly, stroke her head, and make eye contact.

WHO’S THAT BABY? Show your baby his reflection in the mirror. He’ll love making the “other baby” smile, wave, and play peekaboo. HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES. Playing games like this, where you gently lift your baby’s hands up to touch body parts, or cross arms and feet over to opposite sides, helps to develop balance and connect neural pathways.

toys, blankets, his hands, etc helps him to explore and is a necessary part of development or oral skills. • Our editor says: Not only does this build oral skills, it also helps with hand-eye coordination, as your baby is bringing things deliberately with his hands up to his mouth. REARRANGE THE FURNITURE. Move your baby’s bassinette to the other side of the room, or switch his car seat to the other side of the car. It’ll stimulate his mind to have new scenery to look at while still in familiar surrounds.

PUT SCREENS DOWN. Your baby needs one-on-one interaction and undivided attention, so turn off the TV and put your phone away, and interact with your baby.

LET HIM MOUTH IT. It’s okay if your baby wants to put everything in his mouth – everything that’s safe, that is! “Mouthing”

BE EXPRESSIVE. Make exaggerated facial expressions, stick out your tongue, shape your mouth into an O. Babies as young as two days old can imitate facial movements, and learning to imitate is a sign of early problem-solving.

Play fetch. Your baby will love dropping objects from his high

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chair or bouncinette. Even though it'll be driving you up the wall that he won’t hang on to his toy or keep his dummy in his mouth, spend some time just repetitively getting what he’s dropped. He’s testing the laws of gravity!

BABY UNI

READ, READ, READ

Babies love the sound of your voice, and the rise and fall of your speech as you narrate a story. Reading is one of the most important ways you can help your baby’s brain to grow and develop, so read to her right from birth – even in the womb!

PLAY PEEKABOO. Babies love the surprise of learning that objects (and people) can disappear and come back – it’s called “object permanence” and it’s an important learning. GIVE YOUR BABY CHOICES. Hold out two packets of puréed baby food and ask your baby which one he prefers today. Look, we know he can’t read that one is pear and one is apple – it’s more about showing him that choices exist in a world where you usually make choices for him.

READ AND REPEAT

Reading the same books over and over is important, as babies as young as eight months can learn to recognise the sequence of words in a story when it’s read two or three times in a row, helping them to learn language.

SHOW HER PICTURES. Make a photo flip-book with pics of family members near and far, and “read” it with her, pointing out names and faces. COUNT OUT LOUD. Count her fingers and toes (while touching each one), count the number of steps you’re going upstairs in your house, count the seconds to warm his bottle. Making a habit of counting out loud helps develop early maths skills. DANCE. Hold your newborn close and dance with him, and as he gets older, hold his arms while he sits or stands to “dance”. SHOW HER VIDEOS OF FAMILY. She’ll love watching Dad wash the car onscreen or seeing her parents’ wedding, or her big sister blowing out birthday candles. MAKE JOKES. Point to Daddy and call him “Mummy”, pull silly faces, and clown around.

BLOW RASPBERRIES. Give your child sensory experiences like rubbing his hands over textured fabric, blowing raspberries on his tummy, tickling his feet with a soft brush. NARRATE YOUR ACTIONS. If you tell your baby, “I’m going to pick you up now!” or “I’m turning off the light; it’s time for bed!” it will help teach him cause and effect. BUILD AN OBSTACLE COURSE. Place sofa cushions, beanbags, toys, boxes, etc on the floor of your lounge and then lead your baby through crawling around, under, over, and through. TISSUES AND TOILET ROLLS ARE FUN. Let your baby pull (cheap) facial tissues out of the box one by one, or play at unwinding a roll of toilet paper hanging up. It’s a great sensory activity.

BE A PLAYGYM. Lay down on the floor or bed and let your baby climb and crawl over you, or have tummy time on your chest. It helps boost coordination and problem-solving skills. • Our editor says: This is great for babies who don’t like tummy time, as often they’re quite happy to lay on their tums on Mum rather than the floor or a play mat! GO TO THE SUPERMARKET. A new environment is great for your baby – and the colours, sounds, and patterns he will see at the supermarket are great for brain stimulation. SCRAP IT. Keep scraps of different textures of fabric – velvet, flannelette, faux fur, wool, etc – and spend time gently rubbing them over your baby’s body and letting her grab them in her hands and pat them. SHOW HER VIDEOS OF HERSELF. Replay videos of your baby’s first bath, rolling over, playing, reading, cuddling, etc and explain that it’s her and what she’s doing. She’ll love seeing herself, and it helps build language. FACILITATE BARE-BOTTOM TIME. Not only is it better for your baby’s skin to have some time to air out, the different sensations of blankets or a light breeze on bare skin feels nice. And being unhindered by a nappy will help your baby to explore his body and what he can do with it. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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BABY UNI

SIT HER BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. Prop her against your tummy, hold your hands on her waist, and encourage her to maintain an upright position for a few minutes. It’ll help improve her ability to sit. PLAY TOYS ON HIS FEET. Encourage him to lay on his back or sit in his bouncinette and place toys against his feet that he can kick or try to bring up to his hands. GO SIDE-TO-SIDE. When she’s having tummy time, place a toy to her right, then slowly move it from right to left, encouraging her to turn her head from side to side to follow the toy. HANG OUT WITHOUT STIMULATION. Laying quietly with your baby, looking into each other’s eyes, is relaxing and also encourages your baby to lead the way with exploring you – your hands, face, etc. MAKE HER PART OF THE STORY. Read her books or tell stories using her name as the main character’s name – it’ll help her learn to recognise her own name, and will also amuse her when she does! • Our editor says: My son loves when I sing him a song I made up about all the things we do together, repeating the words “Mummy” and his name over and over within the song. I’ve done it since he was a baby, and now that he’s five, he requests it again and again – particularly when he’s tired and wants to be soothed. MAKE NAPPY TIME SPECIAL. Tell your baby what you’re doing as you change him, and name the parts of his body and the items of clothing you’re dressing him in. It’ll help him learn to anticipate routines. GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH HER. If your baby is on her tummy for tummy time, have your own tummy time next to her. If she’s getting up on all fours, do it too! Being at eye level and imitating her helps her to learn. TAKE HER OUTSIDE. Let your baby experience all kinds of weather – rain, snow, sun, grey skies.

LET HER PLAY WITH HER FOOD When your baby starts solids, let her make a mess – smearing cereal in her hair, bashing a hard rusk on her high chair, “painting” with purée. Sensory fun!

BLOW BUBBLES. The experience of watching bubbles, reaching out for them, feeling them gently pop under fingers and on hands, and anticipating the bubbles coming out of the wand is multi-sensory.

NAME OBJECTS. Walk around the house with your baby in your arms and let her touch whatever she seems interested in or reaches out for. Name the objects as you go.

GRASS IS GOOD. Let your baby play outside on the grass (not just on a blanket on the grass). It’s an amazing and different sensory experience to feel grass under her toes and grasp it with her fingers.

VISIT THE ZOO. Show your baby pictures of zoo animals in a book, then visit the real thing. Take the book along and show her tigers when you’re at the tiger enclosure, etc. Read the book to her later and remind her of the animals you saw together.

TALK ABOUT FEELINGS. If your baby is laughing and happy, or fussing and tired, identify these feelings out loud and name them to your baby. It will help him to start to understand feelings and how they come and go.

Let her “drive”. Sit with her on your lap in the (Parked! Shut off!) car and let her hold the steering wheel and bash the horn a bit. Babies love the cause-and-effect of tooting the horn and sharing the spot where they usually see Mum or Dad helps them to appreciate a different view.

ROLL WITH IT. Put your baby on his back with a toy to one side, then help him to slowly roll to a side-lying position and reach for the toy. Switch to the other side and repeat. WATER PLAY. Let your baby splash around in the tub (always supervise her in or near water). Pour water gently over her arms and legs, on her tummy, and over the back of her head. Squeeze a wet face cloth out so water trickles over her at different rates. Pregnancy BUMP & baby

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A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it. – FRANK A CLARK 142

Pregnancy BUMP & baby

PHOTOGRAPHY: KARYN FLETT

THE LAST WORD

Yoga mums show your style

Pregnancy BUMP&baby issue 4

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