5 minute read
50, SINGLE, AND BLESSED by Rachel Wallace
5 0 , S I N G L E & Blessed
I’m blessed I was invited back as a contributor to write my second article for Be Well for Women Magazine.
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I dedicate this second article, to my single sisters 40 and up that have never been married and my sisters without children like myself!
This is a subject that’s near and dear to my heart as well as a subject I can speak to based on MY OWN personal experience and journey of singleness. For far too long society has judged a woman’s success by her marital status and if she’s had a child. Perhaps they even chose to start a career over starting a family. Whatever the reason, many have looked down upon or even shamed women of a certain age if they ’re not married or do not have children by a certain age. I have come to dispel this false narrative. By the time this article is released, I will have celebrated my 50th birthday, praise God! My hope and prayer as you read this article, is that you are reminded and encouraged regardless of your age, marital or motherhood status, you are a success and still winning!
One of my favorite sitcoms was “Girlfriends” . This popular show starred Tracee Ellis Ross and featured a group of four educated black women— Joan, Toni, Lynn & Maya. These four ladies were the best of friends and went through life’s challenges—relationships, breakups and makeups, marriages, divorces, and having children. My college girlfriends & I joke that this sitcom (in some respects) mirrored us in our younger days. I won’t call out their names, but they know who they are and which characters they could have played. �� Let’s just say I mostly identify with the character “Joan” in my circle of girlfriends. Joan was the fixer and caretaker of the bunch; a successful career woman with a beautiful home and always dreamed of becoming a wife & mother. Joan was always looking at her biological clock ticking. It wasn’t until the show ’s finale that Joan found the love of her life and became engaged. If Joan had it her way, this would have happened many years earlier…….
……BUT GOD.
When I was a little girl playing with my Barbie dolls (and Ken), my Barbie playhouse and my Easy Bake oven, like Joan in Girlfriends I always dreamed of being a wife, a mother (with 2 kids), and a successful career woman who owned and lived in a nice home with the white picket fence and a dog.
R A C H E L
W A L L A C E
Romans 8:25
This dream grew during my CSU college days. I just knew after I graduated from Central State University, I would be married by 25, have my first kid at 28 and my second by 31. That’s how I planned out my life. Well, having just turned 50, I have managed to accomplish 3 out of 6 on my list. Funny how I’ ve accomplished the last three on my list and not the first three!
Successful career woman
Nice home
Picket fence (brown, not white)
Dog (Pebbles is in doggie heaven now)
Like Joan, I was incessantly consumed with the loud ticking of my biological clock.
~Woody Allen
I can certainly say, everything has not worked out the way I planned for myself however, I believe it’s exactly how God saw fit while still asking me to trust him and not give up hope as outlined in Romans 8:25 which says, “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait patiently for it. ”
God knows patience has never been a strong suit of mine, however I’ ve certainly learned the virtue of patience through my journey of singleness. Once I learned to stop looking at that “biological clock” society places on women to marry and have children by a certain age and trust God’s divine timing and season for my life, I entered a peace that surpasses all understanding. I was also able to clearly see the blessings and successes in my life such as the young women God has blessed me to mentor, the women God has entrusted me to minister to and pray for, the role I play as an Auntie to nephew DJ and to my girlfriends’ children, as well as my role as a Godmother to my goddaughter. Despite not having a child of my own, I’m still able to provide counsel and guidance while having an impact on the children in my circle of influence. Additionally, during the height of the Pandemic, God blessed me to purchase my first home—with a garden—at the age of 48! (I’ ve always wanted a garden) Although my plan was always to buy a home with my husband, God blessed me to do it on my own during a Pandemic when people were unfortunately losing homes. Whose clock will you believe in and trust?
While my life certainly has not exactly turned out the way I had originally planned, I’ ve learned God’s delay is not a denial. His ways are not our ways and his timing is not our timing. I chose to believe I am in the exact time, place, and season He has ordered for me. I have not given up hope that in due time and season, God will bless me with the soulmate he has for me. Until then, I will patiently wait on the Lord.
