Issue 3: Lunch Break

“hello girls n gays”

Lunch BreakFeaturing Jovan Hill

Lunch Break is a monthly segment in which we interview icons, creatives, and influencers frommarginalized groups. We ask them to take us to their favorite lunch spot to talk about their background,their creative process, and what it’s like being on the job.

Jovan Hill is a 25 year old Internet personality who has made it his life being on social media, and even dropped out of college for his current lifestyle of livestreaming and tweeting full time. He identifies as a queer black man, and was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression, which he openly talks about on all forms of social media. He originally gained a following through Tumblr as a teenager, and eventually grew to become popular on other platforms. Hill has been making a living off of social media through Patreon, Periscope, and donations from his followers through Venmo and PayPal. Jovan currently lives in Brooklyn, and plans on continuing his lifestyle as a mdicroinfluencer in Los Angeles.

BTC: So how did you start using Twitter and Tumblr? JH: Tumblr started when I was 15, I would tell my teacher’s stories at school everyday. Everyone started saying that my life was so interesting and I should start a blog, and I never stopped talking since then. BTC: And when did you start getting so many followers? JH: When Glee got really popular, I was a Glee stan, so I would get some followers from that. And then season two ended, and it was so terrible, I never watched it again. BTC: What did you talk about for Glee, like reviews? JH: I would just talk about Glee! Because being gay, I would say funny and dramatic things like “I would want Finn to fuck me”. BTC: Did you know your humor was gonna go far? JH: No, I really didn’t. I didn’t think anybody was really paying an attention to me, I was just posting - all day. I didn’t really think anything of it until I hit maybe 50,000, I thought “Why are you following me” because this was just my life, it wasn’t a goal, it was just trolling mostly. BTC: So your Twitter is always really ironic and self-deprecating, how does it feel to have a large amount of people feeling the same way that you do? JH: I makes me feel better on some days, because it makes me feel like I’m not the only one that’s miserable, like “Damn, I feel so depressed and my life isn’t even that bad” and thousands of people agree with me. My feelings are valid at least. Everyone is suffering, no one is happy, so, I’m a little less alone in that now. BTC: Being gay, that’s such a small part of some people, or a huge part, so what does it mean for you? JH: For me it’s everything! It’s my favorite part, without it, I would be so boring. I love being gay, I love it so much. BTC: So living in New York, you said you get to really be yourself, and you get to really be “gay” as compared to living in Texas. Has it made you more openly gay once you moved?

JH: Oh yeah, absolutely. Now I have the blonde hair, I can do pink hair, blue hair, I can do whatever I want. Online, on my Instagram stories, on my Instagram posts, “I want a dick”. Whenever it is, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. I don’t care, I can do what I want now. Why hide it? BTC: Does this make you want to stay in a city? JH: Oh yeah, for sure. But I wouldn’t mind having a cute farm in the future, but for now I’m in the city, absolutely. BTC: What about the suburbs? JH: Oh, no. I couldn’t do a suburb it’s too fake. I would become a wine mom. BTC: That’s exactly how I feel! I’m like, “how am I supposed to stay like this”, I would be so bored. JH: Me too! I would start drama in my neighborhood or something, I can’t risk it, I’m too messy. BTC: So in your YouTube videos, you’ve talked about making a community center for LGBTQIA+ individuals in a city. What’s your vision and goal for that? JH: So my goal is: I want to buy a building in a major city, because when I was a kid, growing up being gay, it was so annoying keeping it a secret and not express myself and this whole part of me that I had to pretend didn’t exist. I would like somewhere where kids wouldn’t have to live in a home where they’re miserable or they can’t be themselves, or get fucked up for trauma. I would have a youth center where kids can live there instead, so at least there’s somewhere to go. It’ll be both live-in and a community center where people can just go. I would hire workers there and everything to help them out.

BTC: So you’ve mentioned mental illness really briefly in your last vlog, has mental health awareness been something that you would like to pursue too? JH: Not intentionally, like ADHD, I’ve always talked about it, but now I’m an advocate basically for bipolar disorder, so now it’s a big part of my platform where I don’t mind talking about it. It wasn’t intentional at all for mental health to be a part of my platform, and in my opinion, it’s not that big of a deal. BTC: And using your platform that represents so many different identities - gay, black - that so many people can identify with, what’s your favorite part of being someone’s that’s funny but also relatable for all of these groups? JH: That I can make the best out of any situation; I’m never really offended, and even on my worst days, I can still make myself laugh, and I’m never really doing that bad. I’ve been doing this for so long, making fun of myself, and my struggles that suck, and still made it funny. For that, I don’t have much pressure or stress from that aspect of it. Sometimes I even have to go out and make my life harder to make content, and that’s what’s weird. BTC: You have to make your life more complicated on purpose? JH: My life is chaos, and I think sometimes that if it slows down, then people on Twitter will say that I’m boring, but it’s only because I’m not going crazy! So, I’ll go talk to a boy I shouldn’t talk to or something, or go to bar I shouldn’t go to, and make sure my life goes to hell for a week. With that part, it’s really mentally exhausting because I really have to ruin my life to keep my life going, which is so weird. BTC: What would you tell your high school self? JH: Delete. Delete everything. It’s not a lie, they’re gonna Google you. Delete everything. I would never enter the Internet ever again. I would go to college, I would go to law school, I would read, I wouldn’t have done this. I would tell myself to delete it, it’s not worth it. BTC: And finally, what are future things that are coming up that you’re excited about?

JH: I think my goal now is to make my platform where I don’t have to tweet all day long, like right now. Right when I’m awake I’m tweeting. So now, I have my YouTube channel where I make content but it’s not consistent, so I want to make places where I don’t have to use Twitter all the time. Which is hard to do, because I didn’t expect this. Maybe a talk show because that’s what I like do? Just other forms of content mainly. BTC: Thank you, Jovan!

Interview and photography by Sarah HarwellPhoto location: Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles