Mind+Body June/July 2016

Mind Body +

SUMMER 2016

DEMYSTIFYING THE DRESS WEDDING WEAR EXPLAINED

SIGNATURE COCKTAIL

DOOR 222 FOCUSES ON LOCAL GOODNESS

love story GRETCHEN HALEY & CARRI RATAZZI ON THEIR JOURNEY TO THE ALTAR

M+B

contents SUMMER 2016

42

FEATURES

18 LOVE STORY

Gretchen Haley and Carri Ratazzi share their happily ever after

26 NAVIGATING FAMILY DYNAMICS Bringing families together is magical, but it can also be complicated

ASPIRE

18 CULTIVATE DECODE THE DRESS CODE 4 Figuring out what exactly that invitation means can be a challenge

14

READY FOR YOUR CLOSE-UP 9 Flawless makeup tips for highly photographed events BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER 10 Combining households can be a trial and a treat

14 CAN WE REALLY HAVE IT ALL? Lauren Gustus discusses balancing career and family 17 PROJECT:PURPOSE HEARTS & HORSES M+B team enjoys a day in the life at a therapeutic riding center NOURISH

32 GET YOUR BUTT TO BOOTCAMP Everyone wants to look their best for the big day, but staying healthy is priority 1 36 HELPING OR HINDERING? How to navigate wedding planning without losing friends 40 KEEPING YOUR COOL Maintaining poise in tough situations is a learned skill 42 COOK-PLEASING APPS Easy recipes to keep the crowds and the cooks happy 46 THE SPICY DELI PICKLE Door 222’s quirky, local cocktail JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 1

CITY DRUG

Mind+Body President/Publisher Kathy Jack-Romero

kathyjackromero@coloradoan.com

Editorial Director Lauren Gustus

lgustus@coloradoan.com

Executive Editor Kristin Deily

kdeily@coloradoan.com

Caring About Your Health For Over 30 Years!

Come in & experience the difference of a family owned & operated, neighborhood drug store.

•

$4 & $10 generics available

•

Vitamins & nutritional supplements

•

Compression stockings

•

Post-mastectomy swimsuits

•

Special & hard to find medical supplies

•

Gifts & cards

•

Wine & Champagne

•

European Specialty Foods

Designer Audrey Tate atate@gannett.com

Creative Director Tricia Reinhold treinhold@gannett.com

Custom Production Designer Erika Moore erikamoore@coloradoan.com

Digital Editor Claire Whitworth cwhitworth@coloradoan.com

Project/Marketing Manager Sara Cagle saracagle@coloradoan.com

Advertising Director Tyler Kidd tylerkidd@coloradoan.com

Production Manager Matt Varns mattvarns@coloradoan.com

CITY DRUG 209 N. College Ave Fort Collins, CO 80524 970-482-1234

1300 Riverside Ave., Fort Collins, CO 80524 Call (970) 493-6397 | Fax (970) 224-7726

Mon- Fri: 9am - 6pm Sat: 10am - 5pm Sun: 12pm - 2pm

©2015 Coloradoan Media Group. All rights reserved. PLEASE NOTE that the articles contained in this publication are meant to increase reader awareness of developments in the health field. Its contents should not be construed as medical advice or health instruction on individual health matters, which should be obtained directly from a health professional.

2 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

M+B EDITORS LETTER

Celebrating love

JUNE MARKS THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY of the Supreme Court decision

that legalized same sex-marriage.

The decision confirmed all United States citizens as equal in the eyes of the law. I am so happy to be able to share and celebrate a story of joy, happiness and love right here in our own community. Gretchen Haley and Carri Ratazzi have graciously shared their story with us for this issue. However, theirs is just one in a sea of so many love stories.

Family, the one you were born into or the one you have chosen for yourself, is truly one of the foundations of society. Family helps us understand our place in the world, and supports us when we are unsure of ourselves. As a Marylander in Colorado, I can attest to the fact that family is not only blood relations. Many times, if we are lucky, friends, significant others, and their families step in and become our secondary family. I am eternally grateful to be able to count on such people in my life.

The relationships we have with the people we love contribute to much of the happiness in our lives. These relationships are not always easy, and while a selection of the articles in this issue of M+B offer advice, by no means do they mean to imply simplistic solutions. Relationships are complicated, but celebrating the good reinforces the reasons we endure those complications.

Our June issue hits smack dab in the middle of wedding season, so we decided to take some time to touch on weddings - the celebration and cementing of an important relationship - and everything that goes along with them, from getting your makeup right to knowing exactly what to wear. (We have more detailed guides to both of those online, too). Because while relationships are serious stuff, they should also be fun. And we love any reason for a really good party.

More than anything, M+B wants to celebrate love.

Love is one of the most powerful forces known to humankind, and in our humble opinion deserves to be celebrated whenever possible. So M+B friends, as you read through “The Relationship Issue,� I ask you to take a moment to reflect on the people you love, the relationships that bring you happiness, and celebrate them.

FOLLOW MIND+BODY ONLINE

coloradoan.com/ mind-body

MindBodyMag

mind.body. magazine

MindBodyMag

Cheers to you and yours!

Kristin Deily Executive Editor

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 3

C U LT I V A T E GET STYLE

How to decode the wedding dress code WEDDING SEASON IS OFFICIALLY UPON US, and if you’re like me, you’ve got a mailbox stuffed full of save the dates pouring in faster than you can say, “I do.” Before you can get psyched for the champagne toasts, open bar and abundance of cake (oh yeah, and the nuptials of the happy couple) there is one extremely important detail you’d be wise not to overlook: how the guests are expected to dress. Decoding the dress code can be a daunting task. So many factors should be considered: the venue, geographic location, season, time of day, and even the couple’s style. Unsure of how “Business Casual” applies to a wedding? Read further to decode the dress code. What to do when the invite says:

White Tie The most formal and traditional of affairs

FOR HIM: Black tailcoat with matching tuxedo pants, white piqué wing-collared shirt complete with cuff links, white vest, white bow tie, patent-leather shoes, and the optional white or gray glove FOR HER: A floorlength formal evening gown in classic black or navy is most appropriate. Add a touch of glamour with classic makeup, a fur (real or high-quality faux), evening bag or clutch, and the optional but elegant operalength glove. Heels are a must, and closed-toe is preferred, and be certain to accessorize with gems.

SHOPPING GUIDE WHITE TIE FOR HIM: Tuxedo: Indochino $699.

Vest: Brooks Brothers Bow Tie: Brooks Brothers $60. $175.

Cuff Links: Tiffany $425.

Shoes: Marc Jacobs $655.

FOR HER: Gown: DSquared2 $3,740.

Shawl: Vintage Fur $5,000.

Clutch: BCBG $158.

Onyx ring: David Yurman, $3,600.

W RI TT E N BY KI MBE R LY CAUT I

is a New York-based writer/stylist who enjoys cooking, crafting and being outdoors. She can be reached at kimberly.m.cauti@gmail.com.

Follow @kimberlycauti on polyvore.com.

4 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

Shoes: Jimmy Choo $595.

Black Tie Second most formal and usually denoting an evening fete.

FOR HIM: A tuxedo with the traditional accouterments: cummerbund, black bow tie, crisp white piquĂŠ shirt, vest, cuff links and patent-leather shoes.

FOR HER: Similar attire to a white tie affair, consisting of an evening gown or classic cocktail dress in a dark color. It is acceptable to add more glitz in the form of statement earrings, cocktail rings or gemstone bracelets.

A clutch and open- or closed-toe pumps complete the look.

SHOPPING GUIDE BLACK TIE FOR HIM: Jacket: Saint Laurent $2,550.

Shoes: Cole Haan $200.

Bowtie: Burberry London $135.

Watch: Movado $595.

FOR HER: Gown: Sophie Theallet Kim $8,361.

Earrings: MyTeresa. com $545.

Clutch: Jimmy Choo $950.

Shoes: Christian Louboutin $1,195.

Formal/ Black Tie Optional Still very formal, but a tux is not mandatory.

FOR HIM: If opting out of a tux, his suit should be dark, well-tailored, and paired with a solid, dark tie, white button down and freshly shined shoes. A pocket square and cuff links are always a nice touch.

FOR HER: Slightly less formal, though a floor-length gown is appropriate, as is a cocktail dress or formal pant suit. Heels, clutch and minimal statement jewelry should be worn.

Costume jewelry should be kept to a minimum, if any.

FORMAL/ BLACK TIE OPTIONAL FOR HIM: Suit: Paul Smith $865.

Shoes: Jimmy Choo $750.

Tie: Tommy Hilfiger $33.

Watch: Emporio Armani $195.

FOR HER: Dress: Mac Duggal $418 Earrings: Kate Spade $128.

Clutch: Henri Bendel $328 Shoes: Rupert Sanderson $1,295.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 5

C U LT I V A T E GET STYLE

Cocktail Still formal, but leaves room for creativity and personality.

SHOPPING GUIDE COCKTAIL FOR HIM:

FOR HIM: Well-tailored suit in black, gray or navy with a crisp shirt, tie and the optional cufflinks/pocket square. Feel free to play more with colors and patterns here. This is an event where men have the opportunity to show a little more style/personality in their ensemble.

Suit: Strong Suit $695.

FOR HER: Kneelength dress in a rich fabric. Outside of basic neutrals, jewel tones are always appropriate and classic; pantsuits or jumpers are appropriate as well.

Makeup can be trendier, think smokey eye and nude lip, or a bold pink lip and light eye. Pumps should be worn in lieu of flats.

Dress: Antik Batk $464.

Pocket Square: Harry Rosen $71.

Watch: Citizan Eco-Drive $575.

Shoes: 3DM $179.

FOR HER:

Earrings: Ever Marker $15.

Clutch: Sondra Roberts $275.

Shoes: Jimmy Choo $965.

BEACH FORMAL FOR HIM: Jacket: Perry Ellis $175.

Beach Formal Be prepared for the elements. Usually an afternoon/early evening affair.

FOR HIM: Khakicolored or linen suit, shirt, no tie necessary.

More casual shoes, like topsiders, can be worn. Sandals are also appropriate.

FOR HER: A flowing maxi dress or kneelength summer dress.

Wedges are most appropriate, as you will most likely be walking through sand/uneven terrain. Makeup and hair can be kept natural and beach-y.

6 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

Pants: Perry Ellis $80.

Shirt: Versace $295.

Shoes: Chamula $100.

Sunglasses: Ray Ban $175.

FOR HER: Dress: Calypso St. Barth $595.

Clutch: Kayu $185.

Shoes: Paul Andrew $755.

Sunglasses: Le Specs $120.

Garden Fairly casual, but festive.

FOR HIM: Similar to beach formal, he should wear a linen suit and light-colored shirt. Add a pop of color and fit in with the theme by adding a floral motif pocket square, or a totally optional tie in a rose or orchid color.

FOR HER: Floral prints are very fitting and totally appropriate.

Dresses can be more casual (think bridal shower or graduation) and should be in a breezy material.

Wedges are also suggested. Summery items like straw bags add a classic garden party touch.

SHOPPING GUIDE GARDEN FOR HIM: Suit: Strong Suit $595.

Tie: Calvin Klein $16.

Shoes: Bruno Cucinelli $1,125.

Watch: Ted Baker $155.

FOR HER: Dress: Tibi $545.

Earrings: J. Crew $65.

Clutch: Michael Kors $310.

Shoes: Giuseppe Zanotti, $1,595.

CASUAL FOR HIM:

Casual This can be up for interpretation depending on the couple. When in doubt, assume “business casual� to be safe.

FOR HIM: Khakis with

Shirt: Barbour $100.

Pants: Burberry London $375.

Belt: Timberland $17.

a button-down or polo shirt, casual shoes like topsiders or a trendy sneaker where appropriate. In cooler weather, add a v-neck sweater over a buttondown; tie optional.

Shoes: NLYMAN $110.

FOR HER: Knee-

Necklace: ModCloth $20.

length, midi or maxi dresses or skirts work perfectly. If you prefer pants, anything you might wear to the office would be well-suited. Heels are most acceptable but chic flats would work as well.

FOR HER: Dress: Lovedrobe $75.

Bag: Patchington $48.

Shoes: Paul Andrew $750.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 7

It’s your brain that hears.

Not your ears.

Introducing BrainHearing™ technology.

96%

PATIENT SATISFACTION*

Give your brain exactly what it needs to hear.

With over 17 years’ experience in hearing healthcare, Susan D. Baker, BS, BCHIS takes time to make sure you receive the best in personalized hearing care. At Advanced Hearing Services, your hearing healthcare is our biggest concern. We are proud to provide all patients with our exceptional service. Now offering Tinnitus Treatment Solutions with Oticon Tinnitus SoundSupportTM. *2013 Oticon Alta International Satisfaction Study, overall satisfaction for both new and experienced hearing instrument users.

Call for your Risk Free Brain HearingTM Assessment

Call today for your complimentary appointment Susan D. Baker, BS, BC-HIS Owner Board Certified Hearing Instrument Specialist

(970) 221-5249

Dedicated to Bringing the Joy of Hearing Back to Everyday Life

Call today for your complimentary appointment

2001 S Shields St. Bldg. J2, Fort Collins, CO 80526

www.bakerhearing.net

“Serving the Fort Collins area for the past 17 years”

C U LT I V A T E GET BEAUTIFUL

PHOTO-FRIENDLY MAKEUP TIPS FOR THE BIG DAY

Don’t be afraid.

It’s ok to go a little heavier with your makeup than usual. The camera can diminish colors and wash out features.

1

Mix up textures to help build dimension.

Keep in mind glitter/ sparkle can accentuate texture and fine lines.

Keep in mind glitter/ sparkle and powder can accentuate texture and fine lines, so use carefully.

2

W RI TTE N BY KRI STIN D E I LY

ONE OF THE THINGS EVERYONE both loves

and loathes about weddings is the number of photos that will be taken. Of course we are thrilled that our happy memories of the day will live on, but this also means that everyone will remember how you looked that day. Looking good in photos just takes know-how and the right products for the job. M+B went right to the source for advice on how to do your makeup for the cameras and enlisted the help of Stephanie Tafoya, senior artist at the Fort Collins Sephora. Stephanie was able to give us lots of helpful tips. Check out the article online to see more advice on products and videos illustrating the best way to apply them at www. coloradoan.com/mind-body/ for more product recommendations.

Start with a blank canvas.

Skin care is essential for flawless makeup application. Exfoliation is often forgotten but is necessary for a smooth finish. Follow up with moisturizer and eye cream.

3 4

6

7

8

Flawless foundation is a must.

Make sure the color is a perfect match to the face, neck and chest.

For the most consistent and hygienic foundation application, a brush or damp sponge will deliver best results.

Avoid products with minerals.

Products with SPF usually have zinc oxide or titanium oxide. They reflect light like a mirror, which can leave the complexion with a white cast.

5

9

10

1. Caudalie Make-up Removing Cleansing Oil; $28.

2. Farmacy Rise ‘N Shine Daily Moisture Lock; $40.

3. Origins GinZing™ Refreshing Eye Cream; $30.

4. Smashbox Photo Finish Oil Free Foundation Primer Pore Minimizing; $39. 5. Make Up For Ever Ultra HD Invisible Cover Foundation; $43. 6. The Estée Edit by Estée Lauder The Barest Blush; $28. 7. Hourglass 1.5MM Mechanical Gel Eye Liner; $45. 8. Giorgio Armani Eyes to Kill Mascara; $32. 9. tarte Tarteist™ Creamy Matte Lip Paint; $20. 10. tarte Tartelette In Bloom Clay Eyeshadow Palette; $45

Brows frame the face and eye.

No need to go crazy, stick to your natural shape and fill in areas that are sparse.

Contouring.

Helps shape the face and eyes and prevent any features from being washed out or appear flat.

Picking the right hues and textures, and applying proper technique, is essential for achieving a natural effect.

Make your eyes the center of attention.

Apply black eyeliner at the base of the top lash line, this will help add definition to the eyes but also hide any false eyelash band or small blonde lashes the mascara cannot grab.

Pick one feature you want to stand out.

The rest of the makeup should support and harmonize with this feature.

Take a photo.

This will give you a better idea on any imperfections the naked eye may not have caught but the camera might.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 9

C U LT I V A T E GET HOME

... or 3, or 4

2 BECOME ONE:

10 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

GET HOME

HOW TO MERGE HOUSEHOLDS MONEY TALKS

W RI TTE N BY STACE Y MC K E N N A

AMERICA’S FAMILY LANDSCAPE IS CHANGING. The average age of

marriage is 27 for women and 29 for men, up by roughly one-third from 1960.

And with both divorce and remarriage rates on the rise, an estimated 1,300 families combine each day.

More than ever, moving in with a significant other requires two independent adults to blend existing households. Most people have been living on their own, taking care of themselve for years before deciding to blend their home with someone else.

MOVING IN

THE RIGHT FIT

Bringing two established adult households together isn’t easy, even when both people are excited about the move. According to psychologist and licensed clinical professional counselor Nikki Martinez, the challenges tend to be practical, emotional and a mix of the two.

This struggle doesn’t just apply to choices about things to keep or throw away. MJ Scarborough, a licensed Realtor with Grey Rock Realty in Northern Colorado since 2012, helps couples and families rank housing wants and needs in the region’s tight home market.

“As adults, both people are likely to have an almost complete set living arrangement and furnishings. As you do not need two of everything, you need to decide what you will keep, what you will store, what you donate, and what you will toss,” she says.

“Each one comes in with different needs,” she says. “One comes in wanting a big kitchen, one wants a workshop. But in Fort Collins, there’s such low inventory, you need to be creative in those compromises. I try to help them visualize what homes could become versus what they are at that time. Each person has a different view of what is or what could become, so I try to bring those ideas together. If it seems like they can’t agree on something, I’ll try to recommend a professional in that field — decorators or contractors, for example.”

Because people may be attached to or attribute sentimental value to certain items, these decisions carry much more weight than one may anticipate. So, Martinez says, it is essential to “be kind and considerate to each other” when deciding what stays and what goes.

Another key challenge for couples or families blending households for the first time is navigating how to manage finances. Martinez urges couples to consider: “Who will cover what bills? How will that be done?”

Decide if you will have combined or separate accounts, and consider your views on money so you do not have disagreements when a spender moves in with a saver.

To avoid pressures, she encourages clients to agree ahead of time on how much to save and what proportion of monthly income will be treated as discretionary. “They will also agree if there is a certain dollar limit where they should check with their partner before spending,” she says.

According to Scarborough, when couples — whether newlyweds buying together or previous renters looking to buy — are purchasing together for the first time, the magnitude of the purchase can be a trigger to figure out whether and how to blend bank accounts. In addition to divvying up expenses, they’ll need to decide how to manage loans and whose name should be on the title.

Scarborough has observed that, for individuals embarking on a second or third marriage, choosing a new home together can be especially meaningful. “It’s a statement of starting a fresh life together in that your home is so important to your life that it is part of the relationship,” she says.

THE KIDS To accommodate kids from both sides, the family may need to size up, with more bedrooms or a different type of layout. Specific criteria and square footage can limit options, raise price points and stretch the newly joined bank accounts, making financial cooperation that much more important.

But managing children in newly combined families is about more than finding the right home, figuring out who shares a room and who gets to sleep solo. It’s also about how to help them grow up. Martinez says, “If you are blending children, or one person has a child, how the other partner will be involved in the raising and discipline of that child should be decided ahead of time so that no one steps over bounds, or makes a child or their partner uncomfortable.”

The addition of children to the equation can make this especially important, as families may need “to buy something together so it’s not someone’s house from before,” Scarborough says. Choosing the right new home may also require logistical and financial considerations.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 11

ADVERSTISEMENT

ROAD RULES FOR FIDO

6 essentials for traveling with your pets in tow.

By Dr. Morgen Deramus, DVM cVMA

Summer is soon to be upon us and with some free time on our hands, many of us will be traveling for vacations across country and internationally. When the whole family is involved, this sometimes means packing up Fluffy or Fido and bringing them along for the experience.

Whether you’re going just a couple hours in the car for a day trip, staying several nights in state, or leaving the state or country, traveling with your pet requires a whole new packing list. Thankfully, hotels and airlines have recognized this desire and there are many more of them that will accommodate this request. If you are thinking about traveling with your pet there are a few things that you should know.

Medications and Supplements Some pets have motion sickness, extreme anxiety, or medical conditions that make travel a challenge. Talk to a veterinarian about behavioral modifications, or adjunctive therapies as needed.

Calming agents, pheromone sprays, or anti-anxiety medications may be needed as well.

Health Certificate It is legally required to have a veterinarian examine your pet and provide a health certificate for travel if you cross state or country borders. The certificate must be valid from within 10 days of travel.

ADVERSTISEMENT

Boarding and Care When taking your beloved pet with you just isn’t an option, temporary boarding might be the best option to keep them cared for and healthy while you are away.

Advanced Animal Care of Colorado has short and long term boarding for both dogs and cats at the Dog Tales Activity Center.

Dogs will be fed and cared for by a professional staff, and get to socialize during the day with other dogs during Doggie Daycare with the option of splash time at the indoor pool!

Immunization Records If you are staying in the United States, the government requires your pet is vaccinated at least for rabies and have some form of identification. A microchip is ideal, but a rabies tag is also acceptable.

International regulations vary by country and often require specialized health certificates, vaccines, and testing that need to be started months in advance.

Food, Water and Travel Bowls

Leash and Collar with Tags

If you are traveling to a location where food is not available, be sure to bring enough for the whole trip.

For hiking or one-day trips, bring a collapsible or foldable water bowl and enough water for yourself and your pet along with any treats or supplements they might need.

If your pet does not have a microchip, you they must have their collar and any tags that provide identification in case they get lost. Microchips are ideal, as they are affordable and can provide proper records and identification.

Places to Stay The best advice is to check on hotel/motel regulations concerning pets prior to arrival.

Some hotels offer special amenities for your furry companions such as bowls, outdoor areas for exercise, and treats. It is always a good idea to make reservations when able so that nothing is left to chance once you arrive.

Advanced Animal Care and Dog Tales —

Your pet’s home away from home

While boarding with Advanced Animal Care and DOGTALES Activity Center, spoil your pet with one of our many services:

» Full service wellness care

» Cat friendly services & care » Spire Veterinary Surgery

» Dental care including root canal therapy

» Puppy & kitten care

» Rehabilitation and pain management » Acupuncture

» Doggy daycare

» Behavioral consulting & training classes » Indoor swimming pool » Luxury lodging

» Professional grooming

1530 Riverside Avenue | Fort Collins, Colorado 80524 (On the north side of Riverside, between Lemay and Prospect) Phone: (970) 493-3333 | www.advancedanimalcareofcolorado.com

ASPIRE GET TO WORK

Q&A

COLORADOAN EDITOR LAUREN GUSTUS ON LIFE AS A WORKING MOM Lauren Gustus is the executive editor of the Fort Collins Coloradoan and “Mommy” to two sweet boys — Sam, 3, and Leo, born April 1.

She balances it all with her husband, Zach. Here she talks with fellow working mom and Coloradoan reporter Sarah Jane Kyle about mom life, lame dinners and the myth of having it all.

14 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

GET TO WORK

SARAH: I thought we’d start with why you wanted to be a mom.

S: Speaking of that, what’s it’s like for you to

LAUREN: We had some fertility issues, so what I remember most about wanting to be a mom was just really wanting to be a mom. … When we were lucky enough, blessed enough, to get pregnant through IVF with Sam, I remember being so, so grateful. Some women, understandably, get less than enthused during a pregnancy about sleeping and how hard it is to eat and all those other discomforts. My perspective was a little different during that period.

L: We were told decades ago in the ‘70s that “you can

S: And now you have two kiddos!

L: (Laughs) Yeah, I know. Isn’t it? I have this go-to meal, and Zach and Sam are probably sick of it. I can put potstickers and vegetables and tofu in a skillet and let it go and 10 minutes later you can eat. It’s the most average, lamest thing you could possibly ever think of, but it gets the job done and we eat.

L: That’s right! As of about a week ago, I’m a mom of two. One is in the NICU at Poudre Valley Hospital right now and doing well, but taking the time he needs to learn how to put it all together, eating and breathing. We have familiarity with that experience because Sam was early as well. Sam was six or seven weeks early. Leo, who is in the NICU now, was five weeks early. Fortunately, we know what this feels like. I thought it would make it easier. On some days it does.

S: Leo’s situation has meant you’ve returned to the office until he can go home. How have you balanced being back at work while still trying to be there for Leo?

Lauren Gustus, Executive Editor and mother to two boys works hard to balance it all.

L: I’m lucky enough that I’ve got some really understanding folks above me on the food chain and, too, a job that if we want, we can engage in at off hours. … The ability to come back to work has been wonderful because to some extent it’s a little bit of a distraction. If I sat by the bed all day, I would drive myself crazy and maybe Leo, too.

S: Will you take maternity leave?

L: I’ll take two months, which is what you are afforded by our company with a C-section, which is generous, I think, by comparison. I’ve got some friends in town who are pregnant and trying to save up all of their vacation because their employers don’t do anything for them. …

It will be interesting to see how much I can check out. I didn’t necessarily fully check out last time.

balance “having it all” as a working mom?

have it all.” I think the intonation today is that a woman MUST have it all. She should be a perfect employee. She should be a great mom with dinner on the table every night and perfectly fit and not a hair out of place. … I think it’s helpful for us to know that we don’t have to have it all. We can choose what’s most important to us.

S: It’s impossible!

S: How do you share your work life with Sam? L: He’s been to work with me a few times in emergency situations. We usually stop for a doughnut on the way in and I let him color, or if things really get bad, he’ll access Elmo on my phone. He likes work because there are doughnuts and Elmo. When he’s having an off day or moving slow in the morning, he’ll tell me in the car on the way to daycare, “I want to go to work.” I think that’s at least a good thing. I haven’t burned him out on work yet!

S: Has becoming a mom changed your perception of other working moms, like myself, who work for you or with you?

L: I think I understand now more intimately what it means to do both. I would hope that the women that I’ve worked with feel like I’ve done everything I can to accommodate their schedules. I would hate to learn thatI have made things harder, even inadvertently, for any woman. We have a lot of young women in our newsroom, and they are very driven. They are super smart. They make us better every day. I would hope that they see both you and me as an example of how it can be done and how your employer can work with you to best position yourself for home and work success. MB

Note: This piece has been edited for length and clarity. And baby Leo got to go home from the NICU in late April.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 15

NEW LOCATION

The Square - Corner of Horsetooth & College 970-226-1776 • www.FortCollinsShoes.com M-F 9:30-8pm | Sat 9:30-6pm | Sun 12pm-5pm

16 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

ASPIRE PROJECT: PURPOSE

THERAPY RIDING CENTER OPERATES LIKE A DREAM

HEARTS &HORSES WR I T T E N BY K R I ST I N D E I LY

“I HAD NO IDEA SOMETHING LIKE THIS EVEN EXISTED,”

Emily Schillmoller said as the Mind+Body team toured the facilities of Hearts & Horses Therapeutic Riding Center in Loveland.

For an organization that has around 250 different volunteers and 180 riders come through its doors each and every week, it is surprising how many times this sentiment was repeated during our visit.

The organization, which has been operating largely based on word of mouth since 1997, is wrapping up a massive construction project – adding offices, indoor work spaces, an upgrade to the indoor riding arena, and even a lift to enable handicapped individuals to be safely hoisted aboard the program’s incredible horses. And while the construction itself is notable, it is almost incomprehensible that all of it was made possible by donations.

“We don’t really advertise,” said Tamara Merritt, director of special programs. “Most of what we are able to do comes from the community through word of mouth. People have been incredibly supportive of us.”

For Hearts & Horses, what they do spans many different programs, but all of them center on the unique relationship between the horses and people.

“Obviously there is emotional therapy that goes on with the horses, but with some of our physically challenged riders, especially kids, the horse’s motion mimics a natural human gait in a way that we really can’t replicate another way. It helps them build strength and accomplish more than they otherwise would be able to,” Merritt said.

The programs provided at Hearts & Horses range from the physical therapy of therapeutic riding and hippotherapy to

emotional and behavioral therapy through their Changing Leads program for at-risk youths. From Hearts and Horses for Heroes for wounded veterans to cognitive therapies in their Riding in the Moment program.

To say that diverse needs are being met here would be an understatement.

The real cornerstone of all of the programs, of course, are the very special horses. The 28 animals currently in the program are a mixture of leases and donations from the community, and they have been through extensive screening and training to ensure they are equipped to handle the often challenging circumstances of being a therapy horse. It takes a very unique individual to be able to perform the duties of a therapy horse safely and happily, both of which are keys to the success of the program.

Working around the farm on a busy Thursday morning, the Mind+Body team stepped into this amazing program for just a few hours. Mucking stalls, painting and building an obstacle course gave us a tiny glimpse of all the work that goes into making the program run every single day. But the students, volunteers, staff and horses moving like a well-oiled machine, not to mention the miracle of an operation existing almost entirely on donations, speaks volumes about the program. The horses are happy and healthy, the students smiling and learning, and the volunteers sharing their excitement and knowledge about the program. All is a testament to the successes that Hearts & Horses continues to enjoy after almost 20 years serving the community. MB JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 17

Love , marriage AND MAKING IT UP AS YOU GO

WR I T T E N BY E RIN U DELL P H OTOS BY E RIK A MOORE

There’s a trick my first editor taught me. When interviewing a couple, always ask how they met.

Then sit back and relax. People love to talk about how they met.

But when I ask Gretchen Haley and her partner, I get a feeling they’re holding back.

“We met online ...” said Haley, who’s been with Carri Ratazzi for 17 years. She’s lived in Fort Collins for two, serving as a minister at Foothills Unitarian Church.

“We were friends chatting. She lived in California, I was in Boulder,” Haley said.

The friends piece tripped me up. So was it a dating site?

No. “It was like a mutual, dorky ... affinity ... thing,” she continued, before Ratazzi jumped in.

“We should just say it.”

There was a pause and then the confession.

“It was an X-Files chat message board,” Ratazzi said.

“It’s so dorky,” Haley added with an exhale.

“But it’s so ‘90s!” I offer up. And they agree, laughing about the story of how they started.

It was 1999, a different time for openly gay couples.

A few years after meeting, moving in together and navigating the complexities of fully coming out, Haley and Ratazzi gathered with their friends at a rec center for a commitment ceremony.

“We didn’t have any money,” Ratazzi said. Broke and in love, they ate and danced and celebrated each other for the first time as committed partners.

“What’s interesting, when I look back at that ceremony, is we didn’t really know how to be a couple at a ceremony honoring us,” Ratazzi said.

“We have some really funny pictures of the two of us throughout our first couple years together where we’re, like, standing side-by-side because nobody wanted to see us kissing, nobody wanted to see us hugging.”

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 19

Becoming a family

Fifteen years later, another photo of them standing by each other’s sides was taken. This time, it was at the Larimer County courthouse and they were signing their marriage license. The photo appeared in the newspaper.

It was a Monday morning, Oct. 6, 2014, when Haley heard the news that the U.S. Supreme Court denied an appeal of a ruling to allow same-sex marriages from a lower court with jurisdiction over Colorado. County clerks throughout the state were told by the state attorney to get ready to issue licenses to same-sex couples. Haley, Ratazzi and their kids headed to the courthouse to make it officially official.

They promptly planned a ceremony overlooking the Green Ridge Glade Reservoir at Sunrise Ranch west of Loveland.

And after months of speculation, on June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court voted 5-4 to guarantee same-sex couples across the nation the right to marry.

Photos are all around their bright and tidy two-story home in eastern Fort Collins. There’s the souvenir wine bottle with a photo label of them “getting civilized” at their civil union ceremony in May 2013 (Colorado started recognizing same-sex unions as civil unions on May 1, 2013).

Then there’s the picture of them with their kids Grace, 10, and Josef, 8, when the couple received their marriage license that October day in 2014. And of course, there’s the frame it sits in — silver, specially ordered by Ratazzi’s mom, with the inscription, “Third Time’s a Charm” — a nod to their three ceremonies.

The family — Grace and Josef were adopted through Denver Human Services — made the move from Denver to Fort Collins two years ago after Haley was called to be the associate minister at Foothills. Ratazzi joined Lutheran Family Services, where she is Director of Older Adult and Caregiver Services.

20 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

“THE CHILDREN CHANGE EVERYTHING. YOU CAN’T BE CLOSETED WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TWO MOMS, THERE’S NO GETTING AROUND THAT...”

Their house, in a newer, well-kept neighborhood, bears many of the marks of children. There’s a Razor scooter abandoned in the front yard, a blanket fort set up in the front room and a class art project taped to the refrigerator. It’s a construction paper flower pot with four paper tulips sticking out. On the pot, it reads: “I love my moms because ...” followed by the scrawl of Josef, their youngest.

Because “... they bought me a guiny [sic] pig,” it reads.

Two guinea pigs, Scotty and Teddy, sit as proof of this motherly gift, squeaking in a cage across the living room from Perry the parakeet. An aging cattle dog mix, Nina, rounds out the crew.

“The children change everything,” Haley said. “You can’t be closeted when you have children, because they have two moms, there’s no getting around that they (have two moms).”

“It’s so true,” Ratazzi added. “I’ll be out with one of them and they’ll say (to someone), ‘Well, my mom and I went hiking,’ and then they’ll look at me and I’m like, ‘I’m not the hiker.’ And they have to figure out who is the hiker.”

Coming out

Like most good stories, Haley’s journey to being a minister was unexpected. It was like a road trip without a clear destination. There were detours and speed bumps, hard days and freeing ones.

Raised in a Catholic family, Haley said she stopped going to church in college, in the midst of a sort of feminist awakening.

Years later, when Haley was studying theater in graduate school at the University of Colorado, Ratazzi moved out to Colorado to be with her.

“It felt clear that Carri and I were going to be together a really, really long time and so my parents needed to know,” Haley said. On her blog, which she fills with sermon texts, theological reflections and musings on her church and personal lives, Haley detailed the experiences of coming out to her parents as queer bisexual in the car as they drove her home from the airport during a visit to her native Washington.

Both “external processors,” Haley said her parents’ journey to acceptance took about five years.

“Through that time, they did change and so much so that now my mom doesn’t even remember,” Haley said. “Both of them have this kind of amnesia about that time and being anything other than Carri’s biggest fan and our biggest supporters.”

In the beginning, though, Haley said she and her mom made a deal as she processed the news.

“I was really invested in her going to therapy and she said she would go to therapy if I went to church,” Haley said. “It was either a mistake or the best thing she ever did when she said I could go to any church.”

Called to serve

Unitarian Universalism affirms the humanity of Jesus and the goodness and inherent worth of every person. The religion, notoriously liberal through its years, teaches every person is worthy of love and profoundly connected.

Born out of two Christian heresies, the Unitarian Universalist church formed in 1961 after a merging of the Universalist Church of America and the American Unitarian Association.

Like they’d found each other, Haley and Ratazzi found their religion online.

It was 1999 when they took to BeliefNet. Formatted kind of like today’s Buzzfeed-type quizzes, it aimed to help match its users with a religion instead of finding out which celebrity’s dog you have the most in common with.

Haley and Ratazzi answered the questions and were matched with Unitarian Universalism. They found a church in Boulder,

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 21

YOUR KITCHEN STORE AND MORE

152 SOUTH COLLEGE AVENUE DOWNTOWN FORT COLLINS (970) 493-8585

thecupboard.net

where they were commuting from Denver for work and Haley’s school.

“First of all, we cried through the whole service,” Haley said.

“From the moment we walked through the door,” Ratazzi added.

“We walk in and there’s, like, a rainbow flag and people our parents’ age ... and they were like, ‘Hello! Welcome!” Haley added. “It was healing and they were so happy to see us and love us.”

The minister at the church was the first female minister Haley had ever seen. And, as she stood up there, leading the congregation, Haley turned to Ratazzi.

“I’m going to do that someday,” she said.

Seven or eight years after finding their religion, and later moving to a church in Denver, Haley felt a little lost. She had been the founding employee and director of operations for Options Home Care for years but knew it wasn’t her life’s work.

“Right around that same time, I was doing things in church and one of the members there afterwards said, ‘How far along are you in seminary?’ And I was like, ‘Well, I’m just a member here,’” she said.

That re-ignited what Haley had felt that first time she and Ratazzi stepped foot into a Unitarian church.

She ended up at the Illiff School of Theology in Denver but wasn’t fully sold on ending up being the minister in a church.

“I was skeptical about church,” she said. “I think a lot of people have been injured, including me, from the particularly anti-gay stance of the Christian church and the ways that that’s played out in families and in life across the country.”

So she went into seminary thinking of it more as a social justice institution. She wanted to learn how to be a leader in the community, whether that meant she ended up in a church or not.

“As an aside, I knew it would end with her being a minister,” Ratazzi said with a laugh.

She ended up working in different churches, including a part-time stint at Two Rivers Unitarian Universalist in Carbondale, where she commuted to from Denver. Then she was hired at Foothills and later called to be its associate, then senior, minister — a role she’ll take in July.

What marriage means

As a minister, Haley’s used to talking about marriage. And like the personal story of her coming out to her parents, Haley wrote on her blog about her views on the institution, especially during this time of change for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ+) community.

On her blog, she talked about people who jump to the defense of same-sex couples by assuring critics that the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t want to change the institution of marriage. But, Haley says, why shouldn’t we be trying to change it?

“It’s like we won this argument by saying how conservative we are, and I was always part of the progressive, queer community,” Haley said, adding that she identified as queer

22 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

because she identified with that community’s values, with its way of writing its own rules as it grows and changes.

The term queer is sometimes used as an umbrella term by LGBTQ+ individuals to refer to the LGBTQ+ community as well as a sexual orientation, which advocates for breaking binary thinking by recognizing both sexual orientation and gender identity as potentially fluid, according to the Gender Equity Resource Center at the University of California-Berkeley.

“We make it up,” she added. “That’s what the queer community has always done. And there is a danger, I think, in imagining that now there’s a clear script. It’s not made up anymore. It’s, ‘we follow this, we do this, we say this.’”

When Haley meets with couples who are getting married, she said she always engages them in the question of what marriage means for them. It’s a complicated institution, filled with tales of love, gender roles and economic implications.

So what does marriage mean to Haley and Ratazzi?

“Most of our life is relatively traditional, boring,” Haley said, detailing their day-to-day lives of picking up the kids from school, doing this, doing that. “But in other ways, the way we run our family, run our partnership, is non-traditional because it’s all made up, it’s not pre-scripted.”

“What are Carri’s gifts, her strengths and where are mine and how do those fit together and how do we work in a partnership?” Haley asked.

For Carri, the legal protection was important.

“We had had a ceremony, we needed to know that if something ever happened to Gretchen, no one would ever question my role in our relationship.”

Life in color

Standing in front of her congregation on a Sunday in April, Haley kicked off her second and last service of the morning.

When I said I wanted to attend the service to gather a little color and round out my story, Haley assured me I’d get it.

“I am leading the service with the youth about their recent witness at Planned Parenthood where they were speaking up as religious voices for choice and reproductive justice,” Haley wrote back in response to my question about that week’s service. “So there will definitely be ‘color. :)’” In a black dress and multi-colored stole, Haley turned the reins over to the teens, who showed pictures from their visit, sang songs and gave personal testimonies of their experiences.

And, sitting in the crowd, her hair pulled into a loose, clipped knot, Ratazzi listened on with the rest of the congregation.

After the service, Ratazzi grabbed the kids and brought them back to the sanctuary.

This was their Sunday ritual, visiting Mom at work.

The mom who’s a minister, the mom’s who’s a hiker. MB JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 23

ADVERTISEMENT

Abbie Miller, Licensed Clinical Psychologist with Kaiser Permanente Northern Colorado, talks about the stigmas, symptoms and treatment of mental health care.

MIND MATTERS

ADVERTISEMENT

Relationships are complicated, and none more so than the relationship we have with ourselves.

Mental health is one of the most important aspects of overall health, and one of the most neglected.

Abbie Miller, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Kaiser Permanente Northern Colorado has lots of experience helping her patients navigate mental health care in our community.

Q: Would you say that there is still a barrier or stigma associated with seeking mental health care?

AM: It has improved, but I think there is a still a stigma for a lot of people. Unfortunately this results in many people not seeking treatment until things have become really bad, or in some cases, ever. And, it’s not uncommon for people to wait until they have completely hit a wall and are struggling daily to function.

Q: So what are the things that create barriers to people wanting to seek out mental health care?

AM: There are a couple of factors for most people. First: they don’t want to admit to having a problem because they see it as a sign of weakness. So, day to day they try to get through it on their own. Second: there is some denial — a feeling as though mental health issues couldn’t possibly be a problem for me. They think that these feelings are just a regular

Abbie Miller, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Kaiser Permanente Northern Colorado

part of life. But once they come in and really start feeling better, they often say that they didn’t realize just how much their symptoms were affecting them. It’s almost as if they couldn’t imagine that feeling better was even possible.

Q: When should people really think about getting mental health care?

AM: Well, prevention is really key!

But, in general, the sooner the better. Signs that it is time to get help include when the symptoms start affecting your day to day functioning — for example, when you notice changes in your appetite or poor sleep, when it affects your work performance or your personal relationships. And, of course if you are having any dangerous thoughts people need to seek help immediately.

Q: How can people keep good tabs on their mental health?

AM: Everyday habits make a huge difference: eating well, healthy sleep habits, exercising, and staying connected with the things that make you feel happy and relaxed are a huge part of it. The daily grind of responsibility and demands set us up for depression and anxiety. It is important to take a daily or weekly inventory of how you are feeling. Our lives tend to be so outwardly focused and we really need to focus on keeping ourselves happy, too.

Q: Once you have determined you need to see someone, how do you pick a therapist?

AM: First, if insurance is a consideration, find out who accepts your coverage. Next, I would do research online, or get referrals from friends. Finding the right fit is really important. Things like the gender of the provider, their age, years of experience, and their specialties should be considerations. After all, this is a relationship, and for you to get the most out of it you need to feel comfortable with who you are seeing.

Also, when you go in to meet with a provider, don’t be afraid to ask questions about their approach and style. Some are listeners, some like to give a lot of advice or tools. Both are fine, but one might be a better match for your needs. And, people should not be afraid to ask about these things.

N AV IG AT E

: E G A I O R T R A W O M E H R

NEW FAMILY DYNAMICS W R ITTE N BY K R ISTIN OW E NS

The concept of family is being redefined. Traditional is no longer the norm, paving the way for more inclusive meanings and acknowledging individual circumstances. Essentially, families can come in all shapes and sizes. Blended families are especially unique, having past experiences that generate new dynamics. Divorce, remarriage and becoming a step-parent can be a challenging journey. But with patience, consideration and communication, blended families can have a beautiful future together.

LET’S START WITH THE POSITIVES It turns out divorce is not always a bad thing. No longer uncommon, the facts are that 40 to 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Adults can get out of unhappy or unhealthy partnerships, choose to remain single or find a more compatible spouse. In Colorado, divorce rates hover around four for every 1,000 people. After saying “good-bye” to a bad relationship, parents can be more present and emotionally available for their kids.

Plus, if they are happier, that’s advantageous for everyone.

In the past, parents waited until the last child was out of the house before they separated. Justified by thinking their parenting was complete, adults were ready to move on to chapter two. Nowadays, this isn’t the case. Experts say parents are no longer staying together for the kids’ sake. Adults realize their (and their children’s) future happiness is at stake, and the sooner they move on the better. Subsequently, divorces are happening at an earlier age and creating more single parents. More 40- to 50-year-olds are wading into the dating pool. When and if they choose remarry, adults can provide more resources for their kids, both financially and emotionally. Even with experiencing loss, people remain optimistic and ready to jump into new and exciting relationships.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 27

DIVORCE DOES HAVE CHALLENGES Failed marriages can be traumatizing for spouses and can leave scars.

Carl Nassar, director of Heart Centered Counseling, explains that when adults start to date again, any unresolved issues can be reintroduced into the new relationship. This “previous partner history” is what they have to work with, Nasser says. And it may not be effective. He explains that “couples engage in conflict to find clarity,” which can be damaging for future happiness.

Specifically for children. Parents need to start understanding that “divorce is a series of events,” says Abbey Schneider, a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in Fort Collins. Parents mistakenly believe that the divorce was the most traumatic part for the child. But it may be something altogether different, such as the many arguments leading up to the divorce. It’s critical for parents to examine, “How does my child view this?” at their child’s own developmental level. Once concerns, hurts and anxieties are fully understood, it is easier to help kids move forward with confidence.

✱ RECOMMENDED READING “7 Principles for Making Marriage Work”

by John Gottman “Parenting Teens with Love and Logic”

by Foster Cline and Jim Fay “The Smart Stepfamily”

by Ron L. Deal

28 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

NEW RELATIONSHIPS BEGIN In 2014, the Pew Research Center reported that 23 percent of marriages are re-marriages, almost double from 1960. Times, they are a changin’. When two divorced adults decide to re-marry, it can be exhilarating. The challenge is moving ahead confidently while knowing there’s a failure in the past. Needless to say, therapists are seeing many consequences of blending families. Regrettably, more failed relationships.

In the excitement of starting over, adults don’t take enough time to readjust to singledom. Chris Berger of Foundations Counseling says that it is “concerning that many families try blending too quickly.” He recommends taking two years before entering into the next significant relationship. It takes this long to really get to know someone… good and bad faults included.

Berger explains blended families have histories and are vulnerable to re-experience hurts at the first sign of what might be a problem.

This can create either avoidance or attacks. It’s important for adults to be self-aware of their individual anxieties. He suggests “not to act, but communicate to your partner what is creating these emotions.”

Milestones like managing finances and establishing trust are destined for failure if good communication skills aren’t established quickly.

NOW ADD THE KIDS A new marriage can be extremely positive for divorced adults. It’s romantic and exciting, but not necessarily for children. The Pew Research Center also notes that over half of people under 30 years old report having at least one step-parent. Blending families is not only about the newlyweds, but their own biological children, new step-children, grandparents, aunt and uncles, friends and especially exes. A caboodle of emotions, feelings and expectations for multiple people. This a time of major adjustment for the individuals that comprise the new family and those that support them.

New spouses might question each other’s parenting skills. Each may have different styles, but neither is right or wrong. Communication, no matter how uncomfortable, is key to be on the same page.

Both sets of parents (biological and step) need to establish rules, boundaries, reward systems and discipline.

Children can have loyalty issues with the birth parent and trust issues with the step-parent. Nassar says, “kids are masterful when it comes to managing relationship dynamics in order to get what they want.”

But triangulation doesn’t work. It’s important for parents to be consistent, or guilty feelings can lead to overcompensating.

COMMUNICATION IS CRITICAL Early on (particularly during the dating process) parents need to sit down with their children and have an honest conversation. Often, they wait too long to announce a coupledom, due to embarrassment or general discomfort. It’s essential to discuss what the future could look like, specifically because their “children could be eventually living with strangers,” Berger emphasizes.

Labels are also important, but unfortunately, adults tend to use vague terms. Define what a “girlfriend” means, precisely. Will she come over for dinner, pick you up at school, have sleepovers? Parents must describe and clarify in words kids can comprehend. Schneider says to “make sure and define the relationship in a way the child can understand at their age and developmental level.” Also explain new people, like other step-children, grandparents and new friends. It’s not just a new parental figure they are gaining, but a host of others.

Fort Collins’ first piercing studio.

TAT T O O S

✱

PIERCINGS

WEB RESOURCES American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy www.aamft.org American Psychological Association: Making Stepfamilies Work - www.apa. org/helpcenter/ stepfamily.aspx

JEWELRY High quality jewelry boutique, custom tattoos and piercings.

Bring your ideas and we’ll create something exquisite and unique.

National Stepfamily Resource Center www.stepfamilies.info

STAY POSITIVE There is lots of love to give and receive in a blended family. At the same time, it can be daunting. Researchers suggest it takes two to four years of adjustment, so patience is needed. During this transition, adults should acknowledge their fears and apprehension.

Listening and communicating with each other will go amazingly far.

Plus, learning from past experiences can help shape the new family’s future positively. MB

MENTION THIS AD & RECEIVE

20% OFF ALL BODY JEWELRY

632 S. College Ave | 970.221.9712

www.TribalRitesTattoo.com FC-0000431916

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 29

PURSUIT: Good Times

Avoid the bite Red. Itchy. Irritating. Unsightly. Did we mention itchy?

Nobody likes to spend their summer scratching and uncomfortable, but the bigger concern isn’t the bite itself, it is the possibility of infection with a disease. West Nile Virus has become a yearly presence in Colorado, and unfortunately there is at least one human casualty from the disease every year.

The City of Fort Collins has implemented a multi-faceted plan to combat the spread of the disease and monitor the levels of infection in the local mosquito populations. Early in the spring, bodies of water are tested and treated to combat the mosquitos in their larval

stage, before they take to the air. To monitor the adult populations later in the season, traps have been set up all over the city. These traps are checked on a regular basis to determine the portion of mosquitos throughout the city who are carriers of the disease.

While the West Nile infection rates generally remain low, if they reach a certain level the City will implement their spraying program to kill the adult population of mosquitos. This program is designed to protect the city residents from disease, but business owners who wish to opt out of the program

are invited to do so on the City of Fort Collins’ website (http://www.fcgov. com/westnile/).

The biggest thing that everyone can do to combat West Nile Virus in their own everyday life is prevent the development of more mosquitos, and protect themselves from being infected. The City provides a free backyard inspection to help homeowners keep their properties mosquito-free. Additionally, the City of Fort Collins recommends 4 easy steps to minimize the risk for each individual, and in turn reduce the risk for the population as a whole.

Drain

Dusk thru Dawn

DEET

Dress

Don’t leave standing water around outdoor areas. Whenever possible, drain away standing water, since this is where mosquitos breed and lay eggs. Any small puddle, flower pot full of rainwater, clogged rain gutter, or kiddie pool sitting in the backyard is like a mosquito Club Med. Keep those frisky bugs at bay by keeping things dry.

Half-light times are the most active for the little biters. While dusk especially is a popular time for outdoor activities in the summer, try to limit this time whenever possible.

Bug spray is your friend! Any repellent approved by the Environmental Protection Agency will be safe and effective when used according to the label. There are many mosquito specific solutions, as well as organic options to try. Search out an approved repellent, and don’t be afraid to use it!

Even in the summer, long sleeves and pants are a good idea. Keeping your skin covered in light colored and loose fitting clothing is one of the best ways to prevent mosquito bites. Unfortunately lightweight and tight fitting clothes allow the little buggers to bite right through, so try to choose something that covers and does not fit too snugly.

NOURISH GET H E A LT H Y

BOOT CAMPS, CRASH DIETS IN DEMAND FOR WEDDING WEIGHT LOSS W RIT T E N BY STAC E Y MC K ENN A THE AVERAGE FORT COLLINS-LOVELAND WEDDING

costs $29,698, and the drive to look picture perfect on the big day is stronger, and harsher, than ever.

When so much is being invested to make sure everything looks perfect, most brides don’t make an exception for themselves, striving for a “perfect body” for their wedding day.

But today’s wedding weight-loss industry — from juice detoxes to fitness boot camps — may be causing more harm than good.

BUFF 32 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

F

BRIDES JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 33

G E T H E A LT H Y

Research shows that most women who are engaged to be married set a goal wedding weight that’s much lower than their current weight. In the months or weeks leading up to their special day, the vast majority work hard to slim down.

According to a Psychology Today article, the pressure to become “picture perfect” just adds to the stress of an already overwhelming day and encourages unhealthy behaviors. It’s well known that quick-fix approaches to weight tend to be difficult to maintain and can even be dangerous.

Nonetheless, the trend toward extreme diets and short-term intense exercise regimens aimed at trimming down for a particular date persists. So it’s worth asking, can event-focused weight loss ever be healthy?

Michelle Stout is the personal training supervisor and certified health and wellness coach at Miramont Lifestyle Fitness. In over five years working as a personal trainer and coach, she has seen many clients who come in looking for quick fixes and date-driven weight-loss goals. Though these clients cover the age spectrum, most are women.

Stout tries to encourage people who want to lose weight for a specific event to look for benefits beyond weight loss or a particular look. “I’d rather they want to feel good,” she said. “It’s about how you want to feel, more energy, more confident, that kind of thing.”

Besides, she says, the rapid weight loss diets and fitness boot camps just don’t work in the long run. “I don’t ever recommend crash diets or trends, pills or potions and lotions, that kind of thing,” she says.

Rather, Stout works with each client to identify attainable and maintainable long-term targets.

“Usually, my first session is getting to know the person, building rapport, talking about goals and obstacles, injury history, exercises they’ve done in the past, what they’re looking to get back into …

Try to do a lifestyle change instead of a quick fix,” she says. “I tell my clients, ‘Let’s be realistic about this. How many days do you plan on working out in the gym?’ Then you can set goals that are doable, you don’t get down on yourself.”

While Stout stresses the importance of thinking beyond that special day, she doesn’t outright dismiss the popular boot camp or challenge models. They are more affordable than personal training packages and have benefits of their own. “Some of those boot camps, the CrossFit classes, they make you more accountable.

People know you, ask, ‘Where were you?’ You create friendships, or ‘gymships.’ You can be healthy about it. You don’t have to be the best of the best. You do what you can. What’s realistic for you,” she says. MB 34 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

OUR SPECIALTIES Foot & Ankle Hand & Upper Extremity Hip & Knee Joint Replacement & Arthritis Pediatric Orthopaedics Shoulder Spine Care: Adult & Pediatric Sports Medicine Sports Concussions Trauma & Fractures

P R E S S “ P L AY.”

TWO LOCATIONS: Life doesn’t have a “stop” button. If you’ve been injured, you want to press the “play” button as soon as you can for your sport, work, or family time. That’s why we have 25 experienced doctors with board certification or specialized, fellowship training. Our physicians have helped tens of thousands of adults or kids like you who’ve been on “stop.”

If we can help you press “play” again, call us today at (970) 493-0112. Serving the people of northern Colorado, Wyoming, and Nebraska for 46 years.

Specialists in the medicine of motion

2500 E. Prospect Rd Fort Collins, CO 80525 970-493-0112 3470 E. 15th St Loveland, CO 80538 970-663-3975 Toll-Free: 800-722-7441

www.orthohealth.com

NEW LOCATION

The Square

Corner of Horsetooth & College

970-226-1776

www.FortCollinsShoes.com

M-F 9:30-8pm Sat 9:30-6pm Sun 12pm-5pm

FC-0000430483

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 35

NOURISH GET CENTERED

ADVICE

$

36 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

$

FOR BEWILDERED BRIDES AND HYPERACTIVE HELPERS

Weddings are supposed to be exciting celebrations of family, love and togetherness.

But they also require lots of time, energy and money to pull off, and sometimes the stress of planning and executing an event imbued with so much importance can cause everything to devolve into a red-faced, tear-stained mess.

W RI TTE N BY KRI STIN OWE N S

The Bride wants control – this is her day after all – and the Helper (bridesmaid, family member, friend or basically anyone contributing funds) just wants to help – they know best from experience, of course. Often, clashing expectations and intentions create more anxiety than productivity during the wedding planning.

Before things spiral out of control, set boundaries for everyone involved. Here are helpful suggestions to make sure the big day -and all the days leading up to it – are triumphant.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 37

New Location

The Square (Corner of Horsetooth & College)

970-226-1776

www.FortCollinsShoes.com M-F 9:30-8pm | Sat 9:30-6pm Sun 12pm-5pm

38 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

GET CENTERED

ADVICE FOR THE HELPER

ADVICE FOR THE BRIDE Relax. Yes, you want it YOUR way, but with so many decisions, take help wherever you can. Loved ones only want the best for you, and they may have some worthwhile advice.

Be benevolent and kind. Trust them.

Ask helpers to assist with the cake selection. Unless you plan on eating the entire wedding cake yourself, it will help determine the tastiest option for the enjoyment of all your guests. Have fun sampling different flavor combinations and democratically vote on the winner.

Gown shopping can be overwhelming. Never fear, your helpers are here! Ask them for assistance navigating toward a classic look. But be careful about inviting too many people. Lauren Tanner, owner of Abielle Bridal in Loveland, recommends asking only two helpers to join you. Otherwise, “there is a mob-mentality, and the bride’s feelings can get hurt,” she said.

Delegate small, trivial, tasks that aren’t a big deal. Like the cake knife. Ask crazy Aunt Helen to provide one, which will make her extremely pleased. For those todos already firmly under control, smile graciously and thank those with helpful intentions, even if you have no intention of following their opinions.

Relax. Yes, the bride wants everything perfect. Realistically, it’s an unobtainable goal. So be there with a beautiful lace hanky to dry her eyes when she breaks down from self-induced stress. If she refuses help, gift her something from the registry, happily dance at the reception and drink your fill at the open bar. Although there are few tasks she may consider delegating, don’t push her on things she wants to do herself. Just ask her nicely on a good day.

Ask each guest to submit a song and add to the master playlist.

They’ll feel privileged contributing to the entertainment portion of the evening. This also guarantees lots of dancing. Plus, watching her grandparents get down to Flo Rida will be YouTube-worthy.

On the wedding day, “arrange for champagne and light snacks for the wedding party while they get ready,” advises Casey Muller of Pink Diamond Events. You’ll be a hero and this helps get the celebration started on the right foot.

Offer to write the thank you notes, buy stamps and address envelopes.

It will be much appreciated after all the excitement has died down. This is true friendship.

In the end, if the bride insists on handling all the details herself, let her. But if she asks you to pick out the cake knife, smile and cheerfully do so. MB

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 39

NOURISH GET CENTERED

TIPS TO HANDLE FRUSTRATION AND ANXIETY

BIG DAY BLOOPERS THE HOTEL CALLED and said they double booked the venue

you’ve reserved for your reception and you must find a new one. Your bridesmaids don’t like their dresses. One-third of the wedding invitations were lost in the mail or returned. Your face feels hot and flushed, your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty and you feel nauseated.

These are all symptoms of frustration and impatience.

WR IT T EN BY L I N DA L. OS M U N DS ON

Linda Osmundson is a freelance writer who lives in Fort Collins.

40 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

WHAT DO YOU DO? Getting frustrated when circumstances change is normal, but how you approach those aggravations affects your physical and mental health.

Before you tackle wedding plans, take life balance expert LeAnn Thieman’s advice. “Don’t just wait for upcoming stressful situations to implement these strategies.

People who care for their minds, bodies and spirits every dayare stronger, happier and healthier, therefore better prepared to cope in stressful situations. We can’t handle frustrating events well when we are depleted physically, mentally and spiritually.”

CALMING STRATEGIES

POSITIVE THINKING

Teepa Snow, one of the country’s leading educators on caregiving, gives this advice, which can apply to all frustrating situations: Take three deep breaths from the diaphragm. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Get calm in whatever way you can. If that means removing yourself from the situation, take a walk, use your muscles, get some exercise, clean the house, or wash the car. And then sit down and make a plan.

In her article,” How to Become More Patient,” psychologist Dr. Beverly Smallwood suggests five strategies.

Be realistic in your expectations.

“Expect and plan for delays, complications and setbacks.”

Understand setbacks are temporary.

Be the problem solver, not the victim. Problem solvers distinguish between the things they can control and those they can’t change.

Reject bitterness. Bitterness causes anger. Angry people have short fuses and overreact. Resolve problems promptly and move forward.

Think about past successes and remember you’ve probably solved worse situations.

Now deal with the problem Know the root of the problem and don’t take out your frustrations on the messenger. Count to 10 or 50 or however long it takes to calm down, and then speak softly and slowly.

Give yourself time to consider the problem before exploding, and try not to point blame at undeserving people.

PRACTICE NOW Make time to practice techniques to help keep calm before the pressure sets in. Then, when you are on your way to your wedding and you realize you left your veil at home, you won’t let frustration get out of hand.

You will calm your stomach, slow your racing heart, quit sweating and find a solution.

Ask for help or suggestions to handle the problem. However, try to stay focused on the basic dilemma rather than building it into an exaggerated version through telling it over and over.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 41

NOURISH GET H E A LT H Y

EASY RECIPES FOR ANY EVENT RECIPES BY TRISH O’NEIL, THE COOKING STUDIO PHOTOS BY ERIKA MOORE

42 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

W E D D I N G S A R E A T I M E T O C E L E B R AT E ,

bringing together friends and family to eat, drink, and be merry.

Unfortunately, the festivities come with a price tag.

M+B once again turned to Trish O’Neill at The Cooking Studio to share with us some of her favorite recipes for appetizers.

The recipes are easy, and while they are perfect for a wedding cocktail hour, they are just as appropriate for a family gathering, a girls’ night, or a graduation party. Tasty and simple is the name of the game when preparing food for a crowd.

RADISH QUESADILLAS INGREDIENTS 8 6-inch flour tortillas ½ cup radishes, thinly sliced ½ cup monterey jack cheese ½ cup quest fresco cheese 6 tablespoons cilantro, finely chopped 3-½ tablespoons lime juice 2 green onions, chopped 2 tablespoons jalapeños, seeded and minced 1-2 tablespoons canola or other oil for sauté Salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

Toss together radishes, cilantro, lime juice, green onions and jalapeños. Season with salt and pepper.

Preheat the grill, or if using the saute pan, set to medium-high and add the oil. Divide the radish mixture and cheeses evenly among 4 tortillas and top with the second tortilla to sandwich.

Grill or saute the quesadillas until the cheese is melted and the tortillas are golden brown on both sides. Serve warm.

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 43

GET H E A LT H Y

44 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

SHRIMP FRESH SPRING ROLLS

PINOY BBQ

INGREDIENTS 1-½ pounds cooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined, sliced in half

INGREDIENTS

2 carrots, peeled and grated ¼ jicama, peeled and grated 1 head romaine lettuce, finely shredded 1 bunch mint, diced ½ bunch cilantro, diced 10 dried rice paper wrapping

2 pounds of pork butt or belly or chicken thighs

INGREDIENTS

1 cup of Toyomansi (from Asian food store)

5 eggs, separated

1 whole garlic, peeled and smashed

½ cup of sugar

1 small onion, minced

6 lemons, juiced and zested

½ cup of 7UP

1 8-ounce jar of red currant jelly

1 teaspoon ground black pepper

2 tablespoons water

5 tablespoons dark brown sugar

1 to 3 teaspoons chili sauce

1 cup of Jufran spicy banana sauce (banana ketchup) from Asian food store

3 tablespoons sweet soy sauce

1 teaspoon MSG (optional)

¼ cup peanuts, crushed DIRECTIONS DIRECTIONS

Make the dipping sauce. Combine the sweet soy sauce, chili sauce (to taste), and crushed peanuts.

Construct the rolls. Bring some water to boil in a large saucepan and turn down heat to low simmer.

Soak 1 sheet of rice paper wrapping in the hot water until soft (30 seconds), and lay flat on a sheet pan.

Layer 1-2 prawns, and 1 tablespoon each of carrot, jicama, romaine lettuce, mint and cilantro in one corner of the soaked wrapping. Roll into a tight spring roll and place on a bed of shredded lettuce.

Repeat with remaining ingredients. Serve immediately.

FROZEN LEMON MOUSSE WITH RED CURRANT

DIRECTIONS

Add lemon juice and zest to egg yolks and put the mixture over medium heat, stirring constantly with a whisk until the mixture comes to a simmer and has thickened. Set aside to cool.

Soak the bamboo skewers in water (overnight is best) to avoid splitting and burning during cooking.

Beat the egg whites to soft-peak stage, add the sugar and continue to beat to stiff peaks. Do not overbeat.

Cut the meat into bite-sized pieces or long strips that can be skewered. Mix the marinade and divide it, using some to marinate the meat prior to cooking and the rest to baste the meat during grilling. Set aside 1 cup of the marinade, add 2 tablespoons of sugar to it and use the remaining to marinate the meat for at least 20 minutes and up to 2 hours.

Lighten the yolk mixture with 1/4 of the egg whites and then gently fold the remaining whites into the mixture.

Skewer the meat with the bamboo skewers and grill at medium heat. Baste the pork with the remaining marinade to further enhance the flavor while barbecuing. Basting the meat will also help to keep it moist through the entire cooking process. Grill until the meat is thoroughly cooked.

Enjoy!

Notes: Ultra good! When these barbecue sticks are served, they are gone in a few minutes. Guests dive for it quickly. Nothing is left!

Pour into individual serving dishes. (Using shot glasses is especially nice if you’re freezing the mousse.)

If serving as a cold mousse, put in the refrigerator until service. If serving frozen, put into the freezer.

For the red currant sauce, heat the jar of currant jelly with the water and cool When serving frozen, take out of the freezer and pour the cool red current sauce on top just before serving. It makes a very pretty dessert because the glasses will be frosty and the red sauce will show through the sides of the glass. MB JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 45

NOURISH ON THE ROCKS

DOOR 222’S SIGNATURE COCKTAIL

46 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

WRIT T EN BY K RIST IN DE I LY PHOTOS BY ERIK A MOORE

Most bars and restaurants have a signature cocktail. Something that exemplifies their persona as an establishment. But what goes into creating one? What kinds of ingredients can be used to represent a group of people or a business?

“EVERYTHING ON OUR MENU IS REALLY CRAFTED WITH LOVE. THE FRESH AND LOCAL THING IS REALLY WHAT WE ASCRIBE TO AS A PHILOSOPHY.” For Door 222 in Loveland, it is all about the local, handmade, unique ingredients.

“Made from scratch, that is really what represents

SPICY DELI PICKLE 1.5 ounces of Tito’s vodka.

us,” head bartender and assistant manager Sydney

3 slices of fresh jalapeno

Nelson said. “Everything on our menu is really crafted

2 sprigs of cilantro

with love. The fresh and local thing is really what we

2.5 ounces of Chef Matt’s homemade pickle juice (replace with bread and butter pickle juice in lieu Chef Matt’s secret supply)

ascribe to as a philosophy.”

When we asked for a signature cocktail, Door 222 showed us one of their customer favorites: the Spicy Deli Pickle.

Sriracha to taste, for spice

“It is really a good example of trying to figure out something good with what you’ve got,” she said.

“Originally one of our bartenders came up with it at home, and she liked her creation so much she brought it in to work. We made it really special by using the

Muddle jalapeno and cilantro in vodka and then shake well with pickle juice and Sriracha. Serve with a slice of jalapeno and a sprig of cilantro garnish.

homemade sweet pickle juice chef Matt [Smith] makes. It is something that you can really only get here, and our customers love it.” MB

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 47

FINAL WORD

♥

LIFE IN PICTURES W RI T T E N BY CHR I S D I XON

MOST OF THE POPULAR SHOWS on television now look the same: a plush downtown loft apartment housing slightly awkward young men with female friends who are way out of their league, but always seem to be hanging around. Professional twenty or thirtysomethings just trying to find their way through an early adulthood wonderland, complete with serial monogamy, and seemingly bottomless bank accounts.

But then you have your “married” shows like King of Queens, Mike and Molly, and Rules of Engagement – to make the married home-bodies feel like their life is just as interesting as the “rest of world”, when in actuality, the married are the “rest of the world” and the single, loft-dwellers are the minority.

By age 30, roughly 70% of Americans have been married at least once – yet pop culture makes us feel like the majority of the world is inhabited by romance-seeking, svelte and stylish singles. Examples like the couple of Marshall and Lily in How I Met Your Mother are few and far between.

The shows that seem to truly have an impact in today’s cultural landscape feature primarily single characters on the edge of daring

48 Mind+Body JUNE | JULY 2016

romance at every hour of the day.

Go ahead. Close your eyes. Think of your favorite TV shows or even recent movies that you have seen. Are the characters in longterm, committed relationships? Chances are that not even 50% of them would qualify.

Is single life just that much more interesting?

Of course this is a matter of opinion, but the purpose of entertainment is, well, to be entertained.

It is natural human instinct to draw comparisons between our own lives and experiences and those of the characters we watch on TV or in movies, especially when the grass always seems greener on the fictional side of the fence. But it is important to remember it is just that: fiction.

While being young, attractive, and loft-dweller may look awesome on screen, real life has some pretty serious perks.

Relationships in the real world get messy, but they are also amazing.

While TV might seem fun, we should be careful not to let it cloud our perception of the very REAL world that we live in – relationships included. MB

JUNE | JULY 2016 Mind+Body 49

Meet Dave and Mat...

Dave and Mat are just a two members of the passionate team that makes Wilbur’s Total Beverage THE place to go for wine, beer and spirits. With the largest selection in Northern Colorado and a customer-centric approach to business, Wilbur’s has the perfect pairing for your next get together.

Stop in today and see how the whole team makes Wilbur’s Total Beverage more than just a liquor store.

2201 South College • (970) 226-8662

So much more than a liquor store.

www.WilbursTotalBeverage.com

Open M-Sat 9-10 • Sun 9-7