Effectual mag 2012

For Women & Those Who Love Them

effectual Off i c i a l Pa rt n e r WAN I n t e r n at i o n a l

WAN Study Guide inside

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Now Available on

God’s Leading Lady Bimpe Eskor-Mfon Safe in God's Hands

+ Regulars Spring Victoria’s Secrets Parenting Me 2 U

Xpressions of the Spirit The Culture of Honour Graceville I Can Do Without You Impressions Forgive and Forget

"He must increase, but I must decrease.”

— John 3:30 (KJV)

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Zero Living

Volume 7 Issue 2, 2012 N600, GH 7, €3.00, £3.00, $4.00

P r ay, P l a n & P r epa r e to be bl e ssed

Return of the Helper 2012 tHeMe:

Designed for

success Venue: Mulliner towers (nnPc Building) , 39 Kingsway road, ikoyi. (city cafe ground floor).

Date: 21st July 2012 tiMe: 9:00am • Facilitators •

linda Wallace

Founder, A Company of Women, California USA

anna Mccoy

Founder, Woman Act Now, Texas, USA

ode: colour cl tea

Bidemi Mark-Mordi Publisher, Effectual Magazine.

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Chairman Mark Mordi Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Bidemi Mark-Mordi Editorial Assistant Chuks Amalu Managing Editor Remi Roy-Oyeyemi Columnists Mark Mordi / Abiodun Fijabi / Femi Olojola / Amaka Mokwe-Ijiko Iboro Tonye-Edet / Ebi Porbeni / Shade Vaughan / Nafan / Yemisi Dada Ebiye Koko / John Igbinovia / Enife Atobiloye / Folasade Femi-Lawal Inyang Sami-Orungbe / Kemi Oyelude / Liz Taylor Dr. Abayomi Ogunwale Advert/Marketing Emodamori A. Precious Secretary Blessing Okon Advisory Board Bode Ladenegan / Kate Keku / Chogwu Akoh / Abimbola Akeredolu Photography Ambassador’s image, 52 road, house 7, Festac Town, Lagos 08034740196, 01-2200615 Email: musteehaj79@yahoo.com Creative & Production Consultancy Cypress Hill Communication Ltd / www.cypresshillng.com +234-1-8166825, 0803 306 8091, 0805 754 4985 effectual is a publication of Verbatim Communications Limited, 5th Avenue, A1 Close (Festival Suites) Festac Town, Lagos.

Tel: 08033036409, 08029056642 E-mail: info@effectualmag.com Website: www.effectualmag.com

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Our Vision

To be the most successful lifestyle magazine upholding the highest standards of quality, spirituality and professionalism.

Our Mission

To help women all over find their purpose in God To help women all over walk in this purpose To help women recognize the word of God as a guide and the Holy Spirit as their helper.

Power Quote

A woman is not born a woman. Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child, and does dirty linen; not even when she joins a women’s liberation movement. A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be.

Kenneth G. Smith Learning to be a Woman

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Contents Vo l u m e 7 , I s s u e 2 2 0 1 2

God’s Leading Lady 19 Bimpe Eskor-Mfon Safe in God’s Hands Vividly 24 Girls in Blue

Women Of The Bible 26 Abigail:Wise Wife Of A Fool Spring 30 A Wisdom Call Home Maker 36 Peace as a bridge Wealth Wise 38 Forbes List of Billionaires – Why Not You Too? Aroma 8 The anatomy of zero

My Destiny’s Child 40 The Reward of Letting Go

Relationships 11 Pull or Push?

Victoria’s Secrets 42 Lotions, Creams and Sunscreen

Xpressions of The Spirit 13 The Culture Of Honour

Meat In Due Season 45 Conquer Yourself

Matters Arising 16 House Cleaning for Busy People

Heart Song 47 Better than a alleluia

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Impressions 48 Forgive and Forget!

View Point 84 A Faith Lifestyle

Details 52 Respect My Space

Musings of a Busy Gal! 86 Give Yourself Away

Sista Power 54 LINDA WALLACE: Sista Beyond Borders

Men-tality 88 The Next Level

Reflections 56 The Roundabout Treatment

Go Explore 90 Amsterdam

Graceville 58 I Can Do Without You

Intel 4 Life 92 Lose confidence in your ‘self’

Woman Act Now 62 Woman Act Now Journey to Zero

In The Mix 94 Stripped Of Props

Dressing Up 68 Shoe Care

Ultimately 98 There is nothing to prove

Home Maker Plus 70 It’s all in the Arrangement Summer 72 My strength in His Made of Honour 76 Much more than wealth…

According To Luke 78 Infertility: When Madam Is Definitely Not Barren Pastor’s Wife 80 In the shadows Special Needs Therapy 82 Life Through The Eyes of a Child With Special Needs (1)

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Columnists MARK MORDI MEAT IN DUE SEASON

Mark Mordi is a graduate of the University of Benin where he studied Law, with over 20 years post call as a lawyer, his area of specialization is Intellectual Law, Litigation and Arbitration amongst others. Mark is also a Pastor, he loves to study the Bible, watch and play football.

Mark lives in Lagos Nigeria and his passion is to win souls for Christ.

Remi Roy-Oyeyemi Made of Honour

Remi is a Writer, Editor, Blogger and Aspiring Author. She is a firm believer in the power of the written word to reach and transform.

She has a passion to help people realise and fulfill their God given destinies and this informs her writing. She has authored several short stories which have been published on her blog (www.royremi.blogspot. com) and other online repositories. She resides in Lagos.

John Igbinovia Men-tality

is a Management Consultant, freelance writer, recording artiste and Public Speaker. He writes frequently on his blog called ‘A day in the life of a man.’ www. jnovialife.blogspot.com

Ebiye Koko Reflections

Kemi Oyelude Impressions

OYELUDE ‘Kemi is a graduate of foreign languages from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. She holds a Masters degree in International Relations and Strategic Studies. She is an entrepreneur, who does interior décor and enjoys teaching God’s word. Kemi can be contacted on 08023194760.

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Ebiye Koko is a legal practitioner, conference speaker and writer.

She has authored several articles and is the publisher of ‘The Olive Grove’ a monthly inspirational and motivational newsletter for prisoners. Ebiye Koko can be reached on ebiyef@yahoo.co.uk

Inyang SamiOrungbe WealthWise

Inyang is a Business Administration graduate with an MBA in Management and has enjoyed a working life which spans over 17 years in places like IBTC now Stanbic IBTC, Intercellular Nigeria Plc and CrusaderSterling Pensions Ltd. She used to work at Assur Asset Management Ltd within the Guaranty Trust Group, where she was the Head of Business Development.

She is a member of the National Institute of Marketing of Nigeria (NIMN). Inyang is married with 3 wonderful children.

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Shade Vaughan GraceVille

Shade is a graduate of Mass Communication and Public Relations, married with children.

Motivational and Public speaker, she operates TGOG4LIFE, (The Grace of God for Life) a Christian charity for mature singles.

Email: tgog4life@aol.com

FEMI OLOJOLA GO EXPLORE

Femi Olojola is a graduate of political science, University of Ibadan, Nigeria. He manages a tours service Company; Go Trips & Tours Limited. They organize all types of trips and tours to Ghana, other parts of Africa, UK, Dubai, and the Caribbeans. Contact: +2348023525103, +2347038327432, +23418047279, +23327784650 Email: gttours@yahoo. com

Yemisi Dada Victoria’s Secrets

Oluwayemisi Dada graduated from Lagos State University where she studied Economics.

She holds a degree in Entreprenurial Management from Lagos Business School. A professional Makeup Artist and runs Nsure with her sister Folayemi Dada.

Contact: 0802 362 3119, 0803 583 2565. E-mail: nsurebeautystudio@gmail.com

ABIODUN FIJABI INTEL 4 LIFE

Abiodun is a Trainer, Public Speaker, Writer and Minister. He has conducted Leadership and Communication Seminars in four continents. He is the host of Leading Right on Radio.

He makes his home in Abeokuta, South West, Nigeria. He can be reached on 0802 597 8788

Ebipuamere Porbeni Details

AMAKA MOKWE-Ijiko SPECIAL NEEDS

Mokwe-Ijiko Nneamaka Faith is a Behavioural Specialist that specializes in integrating children with special needs into the society.

She is also a Montessori directress and consults for schools, building Montessori preschools for interested investors.

She can be reached on 07038327585. www.effectualmag.com

Ebipuamere is a seasoned writer with over 20 years experience in the newspaper industry. She has an MA in History from the University of Lagos. She has a passion for writing, public speaking, speech writing and public relations. She loves mentoring generally and believes in the principle of ‘stewardship of the living’…leaving the environment better than she met it.

Email: ebipuapua@yahoo.com.

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Aroma

The anatomy of zero I

t has taken so long. You have prayed for years asking God to send you wherever He wants, asking Him to use you as He pleases. However, so much time has passed that you have gotten comfortable praying those prayers because you just think that life will continue the usual way and nothing will ever change!

Once in a while something rocks your boat and you are jolted to think again about your life, but it is never for long, because the rhythm of life soon catches up and you forget how jolting the last experience was.

Each day, each month we make plans, we carry on like we are the owners of our lives and that no one can tell us what to do. We tell God to tell us, but we quickly close our minds to the possibility of Him telling us anything we have not planned or considered.

But thank God we have a God who is in the business of turning our plans upside down so that He can get the glory.

At the turn of 2011, I was busy

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Aroma

asking God what we will do together this year because it helps to have an idea what He wants done. However, I was perplexed to say the least when He told me that in 2012, I was to have no plans! It had nothing to do with the fact that I had messed up His plans in the past, or maybe it does, but it was very clear to me that I should have no plans, no plans at all!

How can someone go through a whole year without a plan? You will ask, hmmm, as a ZERO I guess. The thing is that the number zero is at the base of all numbers, it has nothing and therefore nothing to boast about, but the zero is the most powerful number that there can be!

I realise even as I am still finding my way through life as a zero, that if need be, God can strip off everything, so that He can make me what and whom He has called me to be. Each day, I see His mercies and I witness His amazing ability to take nothing and make something grand out of it and I remember zero. Any number is just that number until you begin to add the zeros at the end.

Being a zero is not the easiest thing to be, but at least then I can be sure that I am right in the centre of His will. In my marriage I choose to be a zero, health… zero, relationships… zero, business… zero.

Maybe I didn’t initially choose zero, but I am enjoying the surprises that come in this place and there is no other place I will rather be.

The usual is served; we have a table so full and so anointed that I cannot wait to see what God will bring out of this. Your life cannot be the same after this serving of zero. In this edition, we serve you nothing that is us, we serve you all God. Take a seat; www.effectualmag.com

Being a zero is not the easiest thing to be, but at least then I can be sure that I am right in the centre of His will. we are at your service. You will not believe what Intel 4 Life is asking of us; “Lose confidence in our selves!” Meat in Due Season is about “Conquering ourselves”, Check out “I give myself away” on Musings of a Busy girl. Tara is being stripped some more in Letter to God and Nafan is taking a Stand in Summer. Pastor’s Wife looks at Serving God through our husbands and I find Peace as the Bridge to the fulfillment of God’s word, in Homemaker.

Our God’s Leading Lady is Pastor Mrs. Bimpe Mfon, you have to read her to understand the sovereignty of God. Like I said, this is all God, He will speak to you, He will open your eyes and He may even shake up a few things in your life today.

Whatever the case, always remember, zero is about decreasing so God can begin to increase in you. Are you a zero? If not what are you full of? It is time to empty out.

Welcome again, we are honoured to have you read this. God bless you.

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Inbox

Letters, Comments and Views, e-mail: info@effectualmag.com

Write Us We will love to hear from you. The star letter for every edition wins a surprise gift, so keep writing you could be the next in line for our surprise gift. E-mail: info@effectualmag.com

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I love this!

For Women & Those Who Love Them

i, I just finished reading the last edition for the year 2011 “God moments” and I must say that this edition is loaded; every single article was interesting. I have been reading this magazine for a while and my best column has always been “letter 2 God.” It reminds me of the fact that I can always tell God anything & everything. To all those who put together this magazine, I say thank you. May God keep strengthening you.

—Nkechi Mgbanwa For Women & Those Who Love Them

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God’s Leading Lady Audrey Ndidiamaka Joe-Ezigbo Nurturing On All Fronts Home Maker Celebrating a Nurturer Meat In Due Season Turbo-Charged

Free 2 Nurture

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son —Isaiah 49:15(NKJV) of her womb?…”

+ Regulars Spring Victoria’s Secrets Parenting Me 2 U

Volume 6 Issue 3 , 2011 N500, €3.00, £3.00, $4.50

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God’s Leading Lady Dayo Benjamins-Laniyi An uncommon ‘remnant’ Relationships Spotlight Moments Wealthwise Preparing for Christmas Expenditure + Regulars Spring Victoria’s Secrets Parenting Me 2 U

God moments “…when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

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—Psalm 61:2b(KJV)

VoLume 6 Issue 5 , 2011 N500, €3.00, £3.00, $4.50

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I used it as a devotional

would just like to express my personal appreciation for all the hard work put into publishing the effectual magazine. I was in Lagos during Christmas and by sheer coincidence picked up a copy of your magazine.

I am very impressed at the high quality of the contents of the magazine. I enjoyed gleaning the contents and was truly blessed. I used it as a devotional on my days of meditation. Thanks again and may this magazine go to the four corners of our world and transform lives.

Blessings!

—Nike Ladapo

Dear Nkechi and Nike,

We truly appreciate your feedback. Thanks for writing in. You have won for yourselves a free hair care treatment from Recare makers of Nature’s Gentle Touch. Please call 08029056642 to claim your prizes. God bless!

—Editor

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Relationships

Pull or Push?

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ebby had just returned from another of those meetings and I could tell, just by the look on her face that as usual, they had gotten to her again! When she attends these meetings, I can tell just by her footsteps that she has gotten herself all wound up again.

In the three years I have known Debby, she has grown to become one of the sweetest individuals in my life. She is everything you want in an empowering relationship. She is discerning enough to know when she should be in your face, and when she should just let you know that she is available.

As great and relational as Debby is

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though, she somehow gets entangled in a number of toxic relationships where all she gets is pain and more pain. Debby belongs in a network of women who are meant to uphold and help each other succeed, but some how I think she either didn’t take time to do her home work or the group has evolved to something else since they started.

Whatever the case, every month when they meet Debby comes back sad and angry. She keeps telling me how the women don’t care for one another and how it has become a gathering of women who are there to take from others without giving any power away to their colleagues. Initially, I thought

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Relationships

Relationships of what ever kind, no matter what we stand to gain from them, are meant to be enjoyed.

Once people leave you feeling bad about yourself …then it is time for you to recognise that your time around them has come to an end. maybe Debby had to endure them, since she happens to be one of the founders of the network. But this last time, the agony I saw on her face made me ask her, why do you attend these meetings? Why have you not resigned from this body? Who says co-founders do not leave a body?

On the flip side, my friend Nkem belongs in a network too; not the same but one that consists of women too. Every time she attends their meetings she returns full of joy, ready to meet life head on again and looks forward to being around her friends.

What is the difference? At Debby’s meetings they take power away, at Nkem’s meetings power is given.

Let us bring this home to our own daily relationships. At what point does a relationship become toxic enough for you to recognise that it is time to let go? Debby’s excuse for still attending is that she wants to affect others positively, but I am of the opinion that to be able to affect others positively, 12

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we need to be in the right frame of mind, and somehow that place takes her out of the right frame of mind!

Relationships of what ever kind, no matter what we stand to gain from them, are meant to be enjoyed. Once people leave you feeling bad about yourself or the things that you do, then it is time for you to recognise that your time around them has come to an end. My sister and friend tells me it is better to be alone than in bad company and I agree with her totally.

So like I told Debby, nothing is worth feeling like this for! It is time to move on because you are not meant to be any body’s doormat. Whether it is ideologies that have changed or the people just know how to pollute your spirit and environment, it is time to forge new relationships that will empower you to dream, and be who God has called you to be. Enough of letting others talk down at you and make you feel that you are worth nothing.

You are somebody and worth so much in God’s eyes! The same God that asked us to submit to one another is the same God who has told us that we must ensure that we are accepted and treated properly before we make a home anywhere we might go.

Take a look at the way you are submitting to others, are they good or bad for you?

It is time to submit to God and recognise that He wants the best for you and that includes your relationships.

Till next time, remember if you let them treat you badly every time, you may not be able to make any positive contributions around them. It is time to take another look at the relationships you are in.

Blessings.

—Bidemi www.effectualmag.com

Xpressions of The Spirit

The Culture Of Honour Scripture: Exodus 20:12, Psalm 49:20 (KJV), 1Peter 2:17 And he went out from thence, and came into his own country; and his disciples followed him. And when the Sabbath day was come, he began to teach in the synagogue: and many hearing him were astonished, saying, “From whence hath this man these things? And what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they were offended at him. But Jesus said unto them, “A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.” And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching.

—Mark 6:1-6.

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he bible was clear in the above scripture that Jesus COULD do no mighty work in his home town, because the people had gotten familiar with him and didn’t give weight to what he was teaching.

Now we are all guilty of this in one relationship or the other and this lack of the culture of honour in our lives has gotten us into a cultural rut that only a change in our attitude can help us.

I was in South Africa for about ten days in the company of two women who understood the principle of the culture of honour and modeled it enough for me to see and recognize the power that was inherent in it. www.effectualmag.com

What is honour?

The word HONOUR means to give weight to someone or something. Honour extends beyond presence, it is an ability to esteem another even when he is not present. Honour gives Power Away. It pays attention. The culture of honour is welcoming rather than judgmental. It is a kingdom culture. An empowering culture, one where we can give others wings to fly so they become so much more than they think. When God expressed His belief and faith in us to be able to do greater works than Jesus did in John 14: 12, He was honouring us and empowering us to be more than we thought we could be. It is part of the culture of honour to hold each other 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Xpressions of The Spirit

accountable to deliver on God’s promises for our lives. Together, plugged in to the power of God, we release large voltages of power and light into the dark world in which we live. The place of honour is a place of power and a place of giving. Lack of honour stretches into our relationships at every level and robs us of so much power.

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. In Matt 5:13-16 We probably have heard this scripture preached and taught so many times that it doesn’t seem like there is anything else in it to learn. It has occurred to me however that being the salt and the light is definitely a place of honour. Now I am wondering, if I am the salt and the light, why is it that I am not exactly living as that? My answer to myself is that I have not even treated that position of salt and light with HONOUR. God is asking us to return to the culture of honour, so as to release Him to be able to do mighty works in our lives. Just think about it, if we honoured even the resources that God has given us even as a nation, we will treat them well and not be in the mess that we are in today. We have to return to the place of honour!

Romans 12:9-18. The culture of honour is rooted in the attitude and expression of love. We honour by: 14

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1. Being of like minds i.e. having a unity of purpose 2. Being comfortable in coming to levels lower than ours as long as our brother or sister is there who needs to receive power to move up.

3. Not paying evil for evil 4. Being honest before all men; not conceited.

5. As much as is possible, living in peace with all men Honour is not limited only to those who are above us. 1 Peter2:17 says to honour all men! When we don’t esteem or give weight to others’ presence or feelings, we are dishonouring them. Meanwhile, Jesus says, “Whatsoever you do to the least of the brethren that you do unto me. “ Yes, this includes even the lowly ones by our estimation who work for us!

Even though honour is displayed in action, it originates from the heart. It goes on to manifest in word, and even in our thoughts.

We Honour God through 1. Those in our lives 2. Our jobs 3. Our relationships 4. Our Words 5. Our thoughts.

6. Our Attitudes What you gain by returning to the culture of honour 1. Better relationships. When you esteem others and give weight to their concerns and their issues, you reap better relationships from them. They do their best to ensure that your life is better.

2. You receive beyond what you were www.effectualmag.com

Xpressions of The Spirit

expecting. Matthew 8:5-13. The Centurion did not only receive healing for his servant, he also received commendation from Jesus.

3. There is a prosperity and establishment that also comes into our lives because we honour those around us. Our place as salt and light of the world is both secured and manifested in all kinds of great ways.

4. You become a ‘releaser’ of destinies as long as you are able to recognize and give weight to what others carry enough to provide them the tools with which they grow or are empowered.

5. You get great honour in return because the Bible is clear on the fact that we will reap whatever it is that we sow.

When Blind Bartimeaus called out to Jesus in Mark 10, the disciples tried to shut him up, but Jesus stopped to ask him what he wanted! Right there was God honouring and giving weight to what the man needed. We always ask why Jesus asked him what he wanted him to do for him, well I found the answer, Jesus didn’t want blind Bart to think He assumed that He knew what he wanted; it gave him an opportunity to express himself, to acknowledge what was important to him.

When the woman with the issue of blood touched Jesus He stopped to assure

her that she was honoured and her issue was weighted even though He was pressed on every side by a throng of people.

Honour will acknowledge what is important to the other party.

In 1Kings 13: 1-25, we come across the story of the old and the young prophet, and I have often wondered what the purpose was. I found out while studying that the issue was an inability on the part of the young prophet to give weight to the higher authority in his life at the point. We do the same thing every day; we give priority to stuff that are probably beneficial to us as individuals while disregarding to honour the things that should take priority because we honour He who has assigned us the responsibility.

Honouring people isn’t about whether they are deserving in our estimation or not. As long as they are created in the image and likeness of God, they deserve to be honoured

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Conclusion Honouring people isn’t about whether they are deserving in our estimation or not. As long as they are created in the image and likeness of God, they deserve to be honoured irrespective of where they are, or what they do.

Honouring God and honouring others is therefore something we will have to be intentional about, regardless of our emotions and what we think. Whenever we are able to honour others, we honour God who put them in our lives, and God in turn gives us a full reward.

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Matters Arising

House Cleaning for Busy People T

o say that keeping a clean and spotless house is a tough job will be an understatement, what with all the demands and activities of everyday life. However, no matter what we do we cannot ignore this very vital part of leading healthy lives. Another angle to it is the subtle feeling of inadequacy as a wife and mother when our friends or family catch our house or personal space in a less than perfect state.

The real key is to be gentle on ourselves and not push ourselves to the limit. It is possible to achieve our dream clean house, a little planning and proactiveness will do the trick. Here are a few tips for you…

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Matters Arising

Tip 1: You cannot clean everything and every corner of your house every day. So don’t even try. If you have domestic help that’s great but do not depend on them to know what to do.

Give specific instructions.

Tip 2: Divide all your house cleaning tasks into two. These are: 1. On the go tasks These are the little tasks you do every day, by habit. They save you time and energy on the weekends and help you keep your home clean and tidy throughout the busy week.

Learn to clean on the go.

Wash plates immediately after meals, Dust off shoes and footwear outside before coming in, Wipe down the kitchen countertops, cooker and running boards immediately after preparing your meals.

Wipe the dining table after clearing the dishes Do not leave your office paraphernalia strewn around the living room or bedroom.

Pack them nicely in their place.

Put everything back in its place. Put dirty clothes away in a box or clothes hamper for laundry on weekends. Lay the bed as soon as you get up. Flush the WC and wash with brush and toilet wash after every use.

Put your soap dish, toothbrush and other bathroom essentials in their proper places.

These tasks may seem little and easily overlooked but they end up giving you so much more to do on weekends. We don’t want that.

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Remember there are tasks that can be done weekly and even monthly depending on use.

2. Weekend tasks These days our weekends are never just that.

We work, attend functions, to go church activities and do so many other things. We have less and less time to focus on serious cleaning; but we still have to.

The following can be taken care of on weekends.

Laundry (clothes and sheets), Wash toilets bowls, sink, bath tubs and bathroom floors.

Clean the fridge; throw away spoilt food, wash kitchen floors and kitchen napkins.

Empty the garbage. Thoroughly Wash any appliances you may have used in a hurry during the week, the toaster, the deep fryer etc.

Sweep the entire house, dust the table tops and other surfaces, and don’t forget the cobwebs you may have overlooked during the week.

Wash and mop floors with disinfectant.

Throw your own tasks into the mix.

Remember there are tasks that can be done weekly and even monthly depending on use. Know what belongs where and by all means get help.

Cheers!

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God’s Leading Lady

Bimpe Eskor-Mfon Safe in God’s Hands Interview by Bidemi Mark-Mordi

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s a Pastor’s wife within the Apapa Family of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, it was impossible not to know Pastor Bimpe Eskor-Mfon. Even from a distance, you can always tell that she is a woman who has nothing to prove. She always appeared to me as a very quiet, soft-spoken, reserved (to an extent) woman, and I always wondered how she survived as wife to the very innovative head of Apapa Family, Pastor Eskor Mfon.

I finally got the opportunity of meeting with her after at least two years of trying, and again it was because like I said, she had nothing to prove. She has been through a lot, and has risen in very quiet strength to become the head of her family and one thing I didn’t hear from her during the time I spent with her was complaints or murmurs.

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served with the Nigerian Army as a Youth Corper and we were told then that the wife was always a step ahead of the husband in rank, and that is why I say that Pastor Bimpe wasn’t just married to God’s General, she is a General in her own right. Please hear her in her own words.

MAY WE MEET YOU? I am Bimpe Eskor-Mfon (nee Osinulu) third child and daughter in a family of eight children (four girls and four boys). My parents are Very Rev. S. Ade Osinulu and the late Sabinah Afolabi Osinulu. I was brought up in a strict Methodist home, my father being a Methodist Minister. Unknown to me then, God was laying the foundation of my future walk as a pastor’s wife and a women’s Church leader. I know most of the hymns sung in Church then by heart, and in my moments of need I have derived great comfort from the words of the hymns. I’m from a closely-knit family where we celebrate birthdays and wedding anniversaries. We even celebrate the birthdays of some of our children who are studying abroad as though they were here. Considering the fact that I have a sizeable number of nieces and nephews, and a few grand nephews and nieces, www.effectualmag.com

you will understand when I say that we have a lot of fun times in the family.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY My husband was Pastor Eskor Mfon, who went to be with the Lord on 30th April 2007. He was a rare breed–a fantastic husband and father, and we have three children: a daughter, Tosin and two sons, Asuquo and Ima. He was also an outstanding pastor who mentored many young people. Even now, I still come across people who tell me how wonderful my husband was, and go on to itemize all the things he had done for them.

Each time, I just thank God for a good legacy and the privilege of being associated with such a man. My husband was the Pastor of RCCG, City of David, Provincial Pastor of RCCG Lagos Province 4 and Head of the Apapa Family so we were quite busy in Church. My children have been a source of 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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My husband was Pastor Eskor Mfon, who went to be with the Lord on 30th April 2007. He was a rare breed–a fantastic husband and father, and we had three children. comfort to me, especially as I see in each of them from time to time, glimpses of their father. My hobbies are gardening, reading and listening to gospel music. My passion is to make heaven along with all my loved ones.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR WALK WITH GOD When we got married neither my husband nor I really wanted to go to Church because as children, we had both been fed the church diet; he at Hoares Memorial Methodist Church, Yaba and I at the Patriachal Methodist Church of the Trinity, Tinubu. But one day, my husband bumped into his old school friend, Tony Rapu, who was now a doctor at Eko Hospital. He 20

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invited him to their Church where their pastor, Pastor Adeboye prayed for him over an ailment. After he was healed, he continued going to that Church somewhere at EbutteMetta. I never went with him because I couldn’t imagine a Church in that part of Lagos. Besides, I felt the time of the service (7a.m) was too early for me. One day Eskor came home and told me that the church was opening a parish at Roxy Cinema, Apapa for young people like us and would be pastored

by Tony Rapu. We went for a service and I liked it. Then my husband had to go on a business trip abroad and I decided to go to the Church with the children. I liked the way the children were received by the teachers. That Sunday one Pastor E.A. Adeboye was the preacher...I found his sermon, ‘God Has A Purpose For Your Life” fascinating.

Even though I had grown up in a Christian home, I had never heard a sermon like that.

Even now, many years after, I still remember that sermon. That’s how we became part of Apapa Parish which later grew to become Apapa Family. When we joined the Church, my husband and I decided to stay on the sidelines but Pastor Tony pulled Eskor until he became a worker, then a pastor. Later, when RCCG started setting up missions abroad, my husband was sent at different times to help with Jesus House, London, Jesus House D.C; and also led the team to set up’ La maison de l’Espoir; the church in Haiti. He was to return to Haiti later when the Church floundered to re-establish it when Apapa Parish set up ‘Women of Prayer’ the women’s prayer group Pastor Tony encouraged me to join. From there I became a worker and was later ordained a pastor. By now the Church had moved from Roxy to a large warehouse in Surulere and www.effectualmag.com

God’s Leading Lady

was called Freedom Hall. When the Bible College started, I enrolled and succeeded in graduating. Anyone who has gone through the Bible College knows that it takes the grace of God to complete the grueling schedule. I remember that I used to be so uptight preparing for the exams that one of my children, who were then very young, said to me one day, “Mummy why don’t you just quit?” To which I replied, “Do I look like a quitter?” But it was hard. In Church, I worked in the Junior Church for a while but for the most part I have worked in the women’s ministry and of course as a support for my husband in his role as pastor.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR BUSINESSES TIE Communications is the advertising agency set up by my husband. I’ve more or less taken over from where my husband left off. Again here, God has helped us and sustained the company. My husband had a number of dedicated staff so I just eased into the job with the help of the staff. It hasn’t been completely smooth sailing though; there have been betrayals and some staff decided to move on to other things but God has been there for us. I am fully involved in the business now. I can say today that because God was and is with us, we have been able to weather the storm and are firmly in the business of advertising. I also have my own business MORNING GLORY CARDS AND GIFTS which I was running before I had to be fully involved in TIE Communications. I don’t have as much time for it as I did but I like working with cards, in fact I enjoy it. There is also the PASTOR ESKOR MFON FOUNDATION. This is not a business but it’s something that I am involved with. It was established in 2009 to www.effectualmag.com

continue the things my husband stood for: educating the youth, propagating the gospel and promoting the arts. To commemorate the fifth anniversary of Pastor Eskor’s death, we’re looking forward to opening the PEM foundation house and resource centre.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST DIFFICULT ACT OF SURRENDER FOR YOU? For me that would have to be watching my husband slip away from us that dark day in a London hospital five years ago. There was nothing I could do about it: because it was beyond me, the doctors or the pastors.

There’s a song by Chris Tomlin which I love so much. “How great is our God” Anytime I hear that song or think of it, it makes me realise that only a great God like the One we worship could have put me back on my feet.

Only He could have made me go through that experience and come out of it.

HOW HAVE YOU COPED? I will have to say that God has helped me. He has sent me help in various ways and through different people. To me Psalm 124 v1 is most appropriate, “If it had not been the Lord who was on our side...” I can truly say that the Lord is my rock, my refuge, my fortress, a very present help in trouble.

WHAT DOES SURRENDER MEAN TO YOU? When I hear the word SURRENDER what comes to mind is the saying, “Let go and let God” Allow Him to be the LORD in all spheres of your life.

IF YOU CAME FACE TO FACE WITH GOD NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HIM? I would be awe-struck. What I would tell Him would be no different from what 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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God’s Leading Lady

I will have to say that God has helped me. He has sent me help in various ways and through different people.

I normally tell Him in prayer because He’s always with us but we can’t see Him. I would worship and adore Him, pour out my heart to Him and tell Him all that’s bothering me, just as I do when praying.

Your ADVICE FOR THOSE IN A HARD PLACE RIGHT NOW Hold on to God. Put ALL your trust in Him and not in man.”Surrendering helps because you let Jesus carry your burdens and you are free to hold on to Him. God never fails. You need to get into the Bible, the word of God and find all His promises to help you and hold on to them… Isaiah 46 v4 is a good one as well as many other verses 22

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in the Bible: “And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.”

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS? First and foremost, life belongs to God. The Bible tells us James 4 vs 13-15 that we shouldn’t say, “I’ll do this or that” but rather say, “If the Lord wills I’ll do this or that.” So I would prefer to be silent on what I would be doing in ten years time. I pray that God spares my life and that should Jesus delay His return, I would be able to say a loud “Thank you Jesus” and “See what the Lord has done!” www.effectualmag.com

TRIBUTE TO MY PASTOR

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aving spoken to Pastor Bimpe, we thought we should bring to you some of the things people still say about Pastor Eskor Mfon, her husband, five years later. Just so you can appreciate the woman who stood beside this man all that while.

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ith you Pastor Eskor, I could be in the presence of God in worship for hours on end. There were several opportunities to know you one on one as my Pastor but, I kept pushing it forward; who would have thought that we didn’t have that much time with you? I’m glad I finally got a chance to say THANK YOU PASTOR ESKOR; you were indeed an inspiration.

—Nzeduba Ngozi

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astor Eskor was a spiritual father and most especially a teacher. I can still hear him calling me “Alile.” I miss Pastor Eskor. So many things I wish I could tell him myself, but in all things I truly give thanks. I am very blessed to have been under his tutelage and to have been called one of his “personal persons.”

—Osayi Alile Oruene

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great teacher; your lifestyle, humility and depth of knowledge, thought me the incomparable love of God. Holiness couldn’t have a better metaphor!

It shone in you, around you and in your

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protégés. Your deep commitment to our spiritual development made walking in the power of holiness for earthly impact fruitful. Keep reigning in glory, Pastor and God’s General!

—Nkechi Ekwunife

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astor Eskor was truly a father in every sense of the word. He saw to the spiritual development of his church and led by example, but more impressively, he also saw to our emotional and social well being.

I miss my spiritual father and I will continue, by God’s grace, to be a true testament of his tutelage.

—Adetola Owolabi

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father-figure, who taught us how to: Experience God in a personal way, Be fools for God, Fight spiritual battles, Give, Make God our All in All, Impact on the world ( for this he left behind Heavensgate & The Impact to the Society), and Be in charge of our future. Our very dear Pastor Eskor, you still live on in our hearts!

—Sola

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Vividly

Girls in Blue Continued from last edition

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nd at seven-forty-five precisely the principal welcomed the crowd of anxious and excited parents with their daughters milling in front of the administrative block with nods and broad smiles. She made an announcement and afterwards began to call out names of about thirty girls to follow a teacher into a classroom and when there was

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no room in the classrooms, the remaining girls were ushered into the Assembly Hall for the examination.

This made it plain that parents were not to accompany their daughters to the classroom and examination areas. All materials for the examinations were sealed in large brown envelopes that the principal took to each class and handed to the teacher supervising. Twenty minutes later, the sound of the large bell cut into the heavy silence as a signal for the examination to commence.

The discipline, organisation and punctuality were virtues I admired of the St Louis Reverend Sisters, the nuns who ran the school then; their what-you-see-is-what-youget attitude. It was a noble and great task bringing up girls in a modest way in a changing society like ours. The girls stayed away from the classroom areas they remained in the dormitory areas and realised that the girls did not make a merit of being well-behaved, well-mannered, punctual, hardworking and obedient rather these attributes were what the school and society expected of them; to be ladylike, modest and decent; it translated that girls should truly have decorum.

The examinations were soon over. The girls began to troupe out to the administrative block in search for their parents, sisters, cousins, neigbhours or family friends who had come to Louisville that day for the www.effectualmag.com

Vividly

examination. Again, I saw many other girls whom I knew in St Theresa’s Girls School who were already there: Ada Iwerogwu, Martina Ogharanduku, Mary Ebute, Irene Badger, Mary Momoh, Theodora Igwe, Martina Shaahu, Evarista Gogwim, Halima Iwerogwu, Caroline Ojigho, Munuma Kanos, Jummai Isandu, Rita Yarnap, Grace Osagie, Regina Magen, Margaret White, Tamwakat Gofwen, Elizabeth Benedict, Angela Manomi, Liatu Affiku, Elizabeth Homsuk, (she later attended Fatima Private School), Christiana Kanwei, Elizabeth Bott and a host of other girls whose names I cannot recall now. I also saw Felicia Pam whom I knew from home. There was excitement in the air. Precious and I had the liberty to mix with the girls whom surprisingly were excited to see us too.

While we awaited the results of the examination, Precious and I made time out for yet another visit this time we went to the dormitory of her eldest sister, Lorina Badger; tall, light complexioned and a very beautiful girl, hairy and with a great figure; all the Badger sisters have share the physical attributes except in height; Lorina was the tallest, Irene was next and Precious, the youngest followed suit.

I was enchanted by the cleanliness and orderliness of the dormitory. I had never entered a dormitory before then. I remember the colourful bedspreads over clean well laid white bed sheets and all their peripherals neatly stowed away in lockers. In my mind’s eyes, I could see myself there already!

And in no time; the results were published; Precious and I were successful and excited, and looked forward to the final interview which came barely four weeks later. We had also done that bit; so we were www.effectualmag.com

My happiness and fulfillment knew no bounds and that singular instance has remained the best thing that happened to me as a little girl! awaiting the final results that would make us students of our dream school.

The dream finally came true the day my mother handed me the admission letter! I have not been able to describe my joy up till this moment. My happiness and fulfillment knew no bounds and that singular instance has remained the best thing that happened to me as a little girl! I read the letter and prospectus over and over and almost memorized the items on the light blue prospectus like a litany. Finally, I was also going to be a girl in blue! In as much as I was excited, I also dreaded how I was going to cope in Louisville without Precious for she was not successful after the interview. We wept that day; and in her usual manner she took it stoically but not without going personally to meet the principal to ask if there was nothing she could do for a girl who desired to be a student.

To be continued.

This is an excerpt from the Book, Girls in Blue by Antonia Meadows-Oyeneye

To order ‘Girls in blue’ call 08066568542 Or email antonia.oyeneye@yahoo.com 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Women Of The Bible

Abigail:

Wise Wife Of A Fool

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he was very young, and she had found love. Ezekiel wasn’t the richest young man in Israel but she loved him deeply. They would rendezvous every afternoon on her way to the well and on his way from tending sheep. It was not time to marry, but Abigail had found love.

Then one day Nabal came calling. He came with his retinue of servants, and he came bearing gifts for everyone. Nabal had seen a beautiful flower within those walls and Nabal liked beautiful things. After the first visit, no one told Abigail anything, but she noticed that her mother treated her differently and would tell her how favoured and blessed she was. Her mother spoke more freely about marriage and it dawned on Abigail that she was being prepared for marriage, but to whom?

Since she was not privy to the conversations, she had no idea that Nabal, the rich man from a couple of settlements away, whom everyone said was very brash, selfish, rude and inconsiderate yet very rich, had been promised her hand in marriage.

Then Nabal came for the second visit, but this time she had warning. She was told by her mother that she didn’t need to go to the well that day, as a matter of fact her life was going to change so drastically for the better that she would not need to go to the well again, ever. Reason? One of the wealthiest men around was asking to marry her.

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Abigail ran to Ezekiel’s house as fast as her feet could carry her, for the first time she was bold enough to go right into their settlement, but Ezekiel wasn’t there. She was told later that Nabal had paid off his parents and asked that he left town, because someone had told him that Ezekiel was a major threat to his being able to secure Abigail’s hand in marriage. And he didn’t even stop to say good bye? He couldn’t even fight for her? Abigail’s legs, the same ones that ran so fast to get here, felt like concrete slabs at this time, she could barely walk back home.

That night her father told her that it was pretty much decided, she will be married off to Nabal in seven days in exchange for a brand new settlement, where her brothers could settle and make a life. In a manner of speaking, her dreams had been taken away so her brothers’ dreams could become a reality.

Abigail thought to run away, but to where? With whom? Why hadn’t Ezekiel taken her with him? In the end she resigned herself to fate and decided that she will follow her mother’s advice and make the best of a bad situation. ******** I know my story may be far fetched but I needed to be able to justify Abigail’s marriage to Nabal! It was always common knowledge that Nabal was not any body’s dream suitor so if a girl as wise, composed and compassionate as Abigail married him, it had to be www.effectualmag.com

Women Of The Bible

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We can look beyond the imperfections of our circumstances and birth Purpose by the way we work through them. What Abigail had and I think we all need is an ability to see the big picture. that the circumstances were kind of peculiar.

Anyhow, whatever version of the story you have, Abigail became Mrs. Nabal, and that was when the fullness of Nabal’s foolishness started to manifest. Sometimes all that she could do when her husband displayed his foolishness was to cringe and beg on his behalf. Her fear always was that one day Nabal will bite off more than he can handle and it just may affect every other person within their estate.

As they say, what we fear most tends to happen, and that was what happened when David showed up. David and his men had worked for Nabal through the planting season; they were responsible for ensuring that no intruder tampered with Nabal’s crops and stock. They were, in a manner of speaking, providing protection for Nabal and his holdings. It must have been that the arrangement was that he would pay David and his men back by releasing them to take for themselves some part of the harvest. But Nabal had other plans; he never had the intention of honouring his word. Perhaps he didn’t realise that he should not be messing with David.

Whatever the case, Nabal sent the messenger 28

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back to David with these words, “Who is this fellow David? Who does this son of Jesse think he is? There are lots of servants these days who run away from their masters. Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shearers and give to a band of outlaws who come from who knows where?”

Surely, this is not the kind of response you send to the man who killed Goliath! It is certainly not the way you speak to a man who fights battles for a living, especially when he has done you favours and you agreed on terms. So, as it was to be expected, David told his men to pick up their swords!

And off they went to Nabal’s.

As usual, one of the servants when he heard that David and his men were on their way to them, realized that only Abigail would be able to intercede and stop the destruction that could follow, should David not be appeased. And that was how Abigail stepped in, met with David on his way to their home, spoke to him with such grace and wisdom that she saved the day, and made on indelible impression on David.

And she brought gifts in addition!

Abigail arrived home from appeasing David to meet her husband at table feasting and celebrating. The Bible records that he was so drunk that it didn’t even make sense to try and point out to him how close he had come to destruction. She left it for the next day, but just sharing the news with him brought on a heart attack and ten days later he died because the Lord struck him.

At last! Abigail was free, free from the indignity of being married to a man who made her life hell just thinking about his folly. The moment David heard the news he sent Abigail gifts and asked for her hand in www.effectualmag.com

Women Of The Bible

marriage. Like I said she did make quite an impression on the man!

You may know someone who got married because it was the only convenient thing to do at the time but today are living in regret and disappointment. They are probably wishing they could turn back the hands of time and do it right. Or maybe you are even in that situation; today is a good day to begin to see it differently.

The only reason Nabal died a ‘natural death’ may be because he was married to Abigail; what he lacked in tact, finesse and grace, she was packed full of. In the end, when her work was done, God Himself released her to enter into the fullness of her destiny. Some people may contend that David wasn’t the best that Abigail could do, and that may be true, but one thing was always clear about David, he wasn’t brash, rude, and inconsiderate nor was he a fool.

He was not going to need Abigail to mediate on his behalf, she was his wife and that was about it.

Maybe, just maybe, Abigail was put in Nabal’s life to ensure that his blood was not spilled by another, thereby making the other party a killer. Maybe she was there to ensure that those lives that were entrusted to Nabal were not destroyed because of his foolishness. Whatever the reason, Abigail played her role well. We never saw her bemoaning her condition; instead she arose to the challenge and made the best of the deal she got.

My generation tends to get into the marriage relationship these days with the mindset that ‘if it doesn’t work, we can always get out.’ And I will like to ask a question, have you given your best yet? I am not legislating for how long you can remain in the marriage but I am saying will you be able www.effectualmag.com

to boldly say that you gave it your all?

Maybe yours isn’t a marriage, it is a work or business partnership and you are wondering what you have gotten yourself into.

I think Abigail is still a role model even for you. Life does not give us perfect situations and circumstances but God gives us the capacity and grace to fulfill our assignments even within the unpalatable circumstance.

It is my belief that Abigail looked beyond the obvious situation that she found herself and found a way to use it for God’s glory.

We can look beyond the imperfections of our circumstances and birth Purpose by the way we work through them. What Abigail had and I think we all need is an ability to see the big picture. She saw beyond what Nabal did, she saw beyond what he deserved, she looked out for God’s will to be done.

When she spoke with David, she made him see how where he was headed with God was so special that he couldn’t afford to have his hands tainted by Nabal’s blood. In addition to that she brought him gifts, probably more than he was even asking for.

At the end of that transaction, she not only saved her life and Nabal’s she saved the entirety of her household. When we were put within our families, as imperfect as they are, we were put there as gatekeepers.

Whatever we let cross our threshold is our responsibility. We can pray, we can intercede, we can model grace and we can definitely speak and live in peace with all men!

What symbolizes Nabal for you? What can you learn from Abigail? Till next time, remember, the gatekeeper determines who makes it into the city. Be mindful who you will allow through your gates.

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Spring

A Wisdom Call I realise that the basic reason why a lot of us single ladies have issues with our relationships and probably fall into the hands on wrong guys is lack of wisdom.

Unfortunately when our hearts are deeply involved we find it harder to listen to the voice of reason. Hello, Single ladies, I want to share my friend’s story with you. I hope you learn a thing or two.

Mayowa* met Segun* during her visit to the US to see her father. It was easy to strike a friendship since they were both Nigerian and Yoruba. Segun was studying for his masters at the university where Mayowa’s father was on sabbatical. They spent all of the four weeks of her visit together. Segun seemed like her

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kind of guy; gentle, calm, caring, and very intelligent. They kept in touch even after Mayowa came back to Nigeria and went back to work. They would talk on the phone, on Skype; sending emails and pictures back and forth. Mayowa was sure she had met her man. To make matters more pleasant he always sent his messages to his family and friends through her. He had her delivering one parcel or the other to his mum, his married sister and his friends. Mayowa was excited to do it all.

In her mind, it could only mean he trusted her and was beginning to let his family and friends know she was special to him.

His mother treated her like a queen, so did his sister. His friends however always

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Spring

maintained a cool composure every time she encountered them. She never thought anything of it.

After many months Segun finished his degree and got ready to come back home. As expected, Mayowa was excited to switch over from the long distance thingy. It had become really hard especially during his final exams as he was always busy and they could hardly talk and spend time together like before.

Segun came back home days before the exact day he said he would. She only found out a day to the supposed date that he had been in the country for a whole week.

His excuse? He wanted to surprise her.

Unfortunately, he must have decided to surprise his family too because neither his mother nor sister knew about his arrival.

Mayowa started to worry but quickly dismissed the thoughts. He truly wanted to surprise her; that was his story and she was sticking to it.

Two months later she had only seen him all of seven times. He always had some job interview or recruitment test to attend to. When she boldly asked him to define what their relationship was about he got all nice and sweet on her. Mayowa again succumbed and believed his I’ve-beenvery-busy story.

Weeks later she finally found out through a mutual friend that Segun had been spending his time with another lady who also just relocated to Nigeria from the States. The questions started to fly. Had he been seeing the other lady in the US? Was he planning to discontinue their relationship? What really did she mean to him?

Segun began to get openly hostile anytime she brought up these questions

…when our hearts are deeply involved we find it harder to listen to the voice of reason

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and naturally, Mayowa started to fret.

Her Prince charming was turning to some gruesome beast right before her eyes!

She resorted to speaking to his mum and sister who both reassured her that Segun will marry her. She breathed easy with the realization that these two important women in his life were on her side; surely Segun will see reason. Armed with this resolve she continued to pressure Segun to formalize their relationship. Her parents’ and friends’ advice to let the man be and not depend on his family’s assurance alone fell on deaf ears. She had waited this long to find someone, she was willing to fight for her man. ******** Mayowa’s situation reminds me of the need for single ladies to enter relationships with not just their hearts but their heads too! It is just unfortunate that such a young beautiful lady would tie her joy and happiness to someone who does not value her and is not bold enough to take a stand.

Remember this the next time you are tempted to grovel and beg when God has already given you a sure inheritance.

Mayowa sure learnt her lesson, but it happened the hard way. It doesn’t have to be the same way for you.

Cheers!

—Zara *Not their real names.

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Reading Matters

Surrender All

By Joni Lamb

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here is a place of peace, power, and purpose in this world and it begins with one word: Surrender,’ says Joni Lamb author of this inspiring and highly encouraging book, Surrender All. According to Joni, whether you are broke and broken, crushed or confused, God can restore your heart and mend every area of your life but the trick is to be willing to give your all at His feet. The book opens up on the concept of surrender with examples of living breathing people who have had to give their all to God or risk 32

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having nothing to hold on to. The results are always astonishing.

Joni shares on how to surrender all to God in the areas of marriage, children, career, health, friendships and daily life, even in loss and seeming failures. She says, “sometimes life doesn’t make sense: your heart breaks. Your dreams shatter.

You feel confused about your purpose, alone, or fearful for your future or that of those you love. Sometimes you simply want…more.” With deep and profound insight, Joni shows how to meet the struggles and hardships of life with one powerful act of faith.

The book contains several inspiring stories of people who have walked the path of surrender and have testimonies to show.

Read Surrender All to learn about the oath they have taken and how to move beyond fear and disappointment into the life that waits when you surrender all.

‘Even when you don’t know what the future holds,’ Joni says, ‘God does. He will bring you to amazing place beyond your wildest dreams and life will not be perfect nor will it be painless… but the path of surrender is a place of peace within a place of rest.’

Surrender All is a great book, an easy read and one everyone should have for keeps.

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Reading Matters

Inspiration for Sistahs

By Antonia Meadows-Oyeneye

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n line with the title, the author Of Inspiration for Sistahs seeks to share information that can help women better manage their lives and relationships.

Inspiration for Sistahs has twenty-seven short chapters and reads like a practical workbook, because in giving examples of problems it deals with the what; and in presenting possible solutions it gives the how. From friendships to parenting and spousal relationships, the book covers quite a wide spectrum of everyday subjects.

Treating your nanny right, avoiding gossip, materialism and over indulgent children are some of the topics focused on with a view to helping readers see how these issues can be destructive, not only to the individuals who indulge in them, but the family and society at large Inspiration for Sistahs is an instructive book with inspiring reflections and thoughts for women with the aim of silently celebrating women who have played major roles in social, personal, national development and women empowerment. It fosters personal growth and parenting with proper character; thus, Nigerian women are enjoined to lead by examples, celebrate excellence, and reward merits at home, at work and in society. It can be read at women’s meetings, coaching and counseling sessions, workshops, church groups, social and religious community programmes, and seminars.

To be relevant in this 21st century, women must develop and know themselves. They must have character, self-discipline, dignity, www.effectualmag.com

integrity, and the right attitude in order to be women of unsullied veracity with the reputation of Caesar’s wife! Society needs women who will educate, instruct, inculcate and spearhead moral, social, spiritual and pragmatic values right from the home; women who will show care and concern for the environment, and foster national values for personal development, growth and national orientation.

Inspiration For Sistahs is published by Verbatim Communications Limited. To order call.

08066568542 or email: antonia.oyeneye@ yahoo.com

2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Letter 2 God

Dear Father, Before I start I just want to say I’m grateful to you. You have been more than enough for me and I am truly thankful. Right now though Lord, I feel like the rug has just been pulled from under me. Have I been too relaxed, too dependent on my own plans that I find it hard to see you in all of these?

Tim has just been transferred! It would have been okay if he was moved a state away but he’s going to the North! I’m frantic Lord; afraid, to say the least. I have counselled myself and talked to myself over and over again but it’s not helping.

I’m too strung up to even think straight. We have started wedding plans and I thought we would just get married and settle down nicely, but now that he’s being moved where does that leave our plans? And what about the insecurity in the north? It’s always one attack or the other and Lord I’m really scared. I’ll have to admit I’m not exercising my faith properly right now and I need you to just knock some sense into me.

Will this mean we have to postpone the wedding? Will Tim be safe? What about my job? Will I have to move to the north with him? If we decide to go ahead with the wedding and he moves to the north after that how will we cope with a long distance marriage? I’m confused Lord; I don’t even know what to think.

I have become too used to the way things were going that it’s almost impossible to imagine that my life is being turned upside down this way. I don’t want to complain Lord; I know you’ve been very good. So good to me that I sometimes think I don’t deserve your mercy this way. But this turn is scaring me Lord.

I need you to hear you speak calm to my spirit. I need to rest in you. Grant me Grace Lord and I know that I will find peace even in the midst of this confusion.

I love you Lord, now and always.

—Tara

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Taramide dear, Hmmm! I wish I could say that all these caught me unawares, that it was not part of the plan. I wish I could say that your fears are not legitimate and that you have nothing to worry about. I wish it was just as easy as waving a wand so that you will return to dream land again.

However, all of the above I cannot do because, as you have rightly identified, this is another learning curve and you need to begin to exercise your faith however it is that you can muster it.

However, I am extremely proud that you are not afraid to tell me when and where it hurts. It is absolutely okay to be confused and afraid as long as you know that it is to me that you should run.

As for Timothy’s safety, have you forgotten that he that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty? Will I send you somewhere where my grace will not be available to you? Tim will be fine; this is the beginning of his own training. The work that I have for both of you is so great that every experience will be useful in the long run.

Tara, I agree that you had settled! You had gotten so used to where you were that you weren’t yearning for anything. Are you not bored of the routine that your life has gradually become? Yes, I know you will say that you were right where I planted you, which I can tell you is the best place to be. But did I ever tell you not to think? I, your father I am extremely creative, should you not follow my lead?

The new territory will stretch you but it will also build up your faith and spiritual muscles. I cannot wait to see how you will adapt to your new kind of normal. I am a dynamic God and change is one of my best qualities. What you must recognise is that every change that I initiate or allow usually works a greatness in the subject. So embrace this change.

What I can assure you of is that nothing will happen to Tim, neither is there anything you will need while Tim is away that I will not be able to provide. Life will continue to throw curves your way, what you learn now will be the foundation of how you will deal with them all as they come.

I need you to dig deep and realise that I hold the aces and I will deal with you in love, justice and mercy. Surrender to my will and I will show you great and mighty things that you have never seen before! This is your new normal, keep your eyes open and you will soon understand what I am about to do. Remember, I will do a new thing… if you look hard enough with your eyes of the Spirit you will see it spring forth.

Shalom, Shalom my daughter. It is well with you. I am right here with you through it all.

Your father, God www.effectualmag.com

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Home Maker

Peace as a bridge

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e were in South Africa and we had just finished what we call in WAN, a Power Hour. We had looked at decreasing to zero and taking action in the NOW. We got up, all three of us; Coach Anna, Audrey and myself and moved to the kitchen area to find something to nibble on while we waited for Linda to come out so we could go to lunch.

Just as I brought something out of the refrigerator and was looking for a spoon or something, I cannot quite recall, Coach walks to me and says “Bidemi go to zero right now, and compose a song.” Immediately, I responded, “No Coach, cannot do.” I was too hungry to even want to try and yes I write, but hey I don’t write songs, let alone begin to sing them on the fly.

But Coach Anna insists, and she can be insistent that my Coach! She calls it contending for the highest possible good to be manifest in the NOW which in one word means LOVE. So I decided to take the limits off and just really decrease to zero, to see what might happen. Like clockwork, I opened my mind, shut my eyes and I could hear myself singing a song no one had previously sung anywhere!

Both Audrey and Coach rushed in with their recorders and boy did I sing and did 36

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Audrey cry! (LOL) But that is the power of decreasing to zero. Once I was done, we moved the exercise to Audrey and she did powerfully also. She composed a song on the fly!

At that point I recognized that we had a winner in living our lives as zeros, so I promised myself that once I got back to Nigeria, home and work, I was going to continue to live as a zero. Then the plane landed in www.effectualmag.com

Home Maker

Lagos, and by the time we eventually found our luggage and were on our way, I was frantically holding on to life at the marker zero.

My hubby calls me to say both generators had refused to work and was wondering if I wanted to go to a hotel and just stay there till the next day. I opted for home, I had not seen my children in ten days and two of them were leaving for school in the morning! Plus I was determined to live my life as a zero.

The generators and all the other stuff that went wrong that night was just the beginning! My internet modem would not work, and it didn’t matter that I had paid, sent people to their offices a number of times, even subscribed to a brand new service. It seemed that everything was calculated to ensure that my resolve to live as a ‘big fat zero’ (apologies to Bola EssienNelson) was not going to happen. But I was determined! A lot more went wrong, but I always remembered that I had resolved to live at zero.

The question now became, will I hold on to this resolve and not explode and react in ways I didn’t want to? That was when it dawned on me that living life at the marker zero is a function of how much peace we have in our hearts. This peace is brought on by the understanding that God is sovereign and will not fail, even if He chooses to go contrary to my plans; He is still God, and I can give it all up to Him and receive His peace.

Life as a Homemaker is never easy, from www.effectualmag.com

…living life at the marker zero is a function of how much peace we have in our hearts. This peace is brought on by the understanding that God is sovereign and will not fail, even if He chooses to go contrary to my plans; He is still God, and I can give it all up to Him and receive His peace. balancing the numbers to dealing with domestic staff who will make the same mistakes every single day, to children who are experts at stretching our faith, to husbands who will make last minute demands that ought to have been made months before, and expect you to meet them.

Living at zero may be the last thing you want to be doing, but I have found out that as long as I trust God and have peace based on my trust in His character, He helps me through each day. You can try it too.

This is why today I submit that peace is the bridge that takes you to ground zero!

This is a powerful place to be.

—Bidemi

bidemi@effectualmag.com 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Wealth Wise

Forbes List of Billionaires – Why Not You Too?

F

orty two women made the current 2012 Forbes List of billionaires.

Sara Blakely, at 41years old, is the youngest self-made woman to join this year’s billionaire’s club. An entrepreneur specializing in shapewear, Spanx, she turned $5,000 in savings into a new retail category. Blakely owns 100% of the private company, has zero debt, has never taken outside investment and hasn’t spent a dime on advertising. She had no help from a husband or an inheritance.

By Inyang Sami-Orungbe

Sara joins a tiny, elite club of American women which includes Oprah Winfrey and Meg Whitman.

From time to time, I come across quite a number of women who want to start a business “someday.” So what does it take to transform from a ‘someday’ entrepreneur to an actual business owner? What does it take to make the Forbes List?

Being able to take the plunge surprisingly has a lot less to do with people’s personalities, and a lot more to do with how they are able to familiarize themselves with the idea of entrepreneurship. Those who can actually picture themselves running a business often do. And those who continue to think of entrepreneurship as a huge, daunting thing that other people do tend to never move forward.

Definitely a change of current mindset is needed here.

Expand your social circle Get to know some real entrepreneurs; some normal, low key business owners. This is one of the best ways to learn what entrepreneurship is really like.

To begin with, try and connect with some business owners in the area of business you have an interest in. It helps you to start thinking “hey, if they can do it, so can I!” But be sure to broaden your horizon by also meeting people in a wide variety of industries. There are lots of styles of

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Wealth Wise

entrepreneurship, so the more diversity you can experience the better!

Social media groups on Facebook and LinkedIn is a place to start if you don’t know any entrepreneurs. Quite a number of discussions are taking place which are likely to steer your mind in the right direction.

Identify some Role Models to Follow In addition to your new social network, it’s important to identify some role models who are strongly established in their businesses.

A lot can be gained by observing them and their companies from afar. Select some strong brands and personalities as well. Read their blogs if they have any. Read press interviews that they’ve done. Think about how their personalities and leadership styles have impacted the businesses they run. Keep track of their company news, and take note of what they share about their own experiences.

An invention, new product or service, or solution to an everyday problem. Sara Blakely certainly understood this!

Identify a niche in the market that you can fill.

A business related to the work you do already.

Turning your interest or hobby into a business.

Buying an existing business Starting a business involves planning, making key financial decisions and completing a series of legal activities.

Take advantage of any free training and counseling services, from preparing a business plan to securing financing. Find

Talk to people, expand your reading list, and think more and more about what it’s like to be an entrepreneur.

Buckle Down and Get Real Sometimes there is a perception of huge mountains to be climbed, deep knowledge of bookkeeping and accounting and other learning curves to surmount. Most would-be entrepreneurs overestimate the skills and knowledge that are needed to run a business.

It’s important to note that you certainly don’t have to possess an MBA to run a business.

Talk to people, expand your reading list, and think more and more about what it’s like to be an entrepreneur.

As a guide to starting the business, consider the following options: Something within your expertise or that you are passionate about. www.effectualmag.com

government backed loans, and research grants to help you get started.

While preparing your mind, register your business name with your state government to obtain a tax identification number. Start working on your business plan to ascertain if your idea is profitable, how much it will cost to get your business off the ground, what you will potentially earn and how much you will need to pay yourself and all your business costs.

It is critical that you brush up on your business skills to prepare for the challenges of running your business.

Forbes 400 better watch out; here you come!

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My Destiny’s Child

The Reward of Letting Go

By Iboro Tonye-Edet

I

was a woman of great affluence and I was married to a most loving man. We served the Lord with our hearts and blessed others with our resources, but there was one thing lacking; a child to call our own. This indeed was a deep seated pain in my heart I wished would go away.

Somehow I concentrated on doing what God had called my husband and I to do.

Whilst focusing on our business, we heard about a certain man of God who did a lot of great works in town. We felt we could provide a place for him to rest during his several ministrations in town and we did it with all joy.

One day the man of God asked what he could do for me in return; he suggested speaking in my favour to the highest man in authority in our land. I was flattered but I declined. But the next thing he said stunned me. ‘BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR YOU 40

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WILL CARRY YOUR SON IN YOUR ARMS.’ That word struck a chord in my soul and believe me, exactly one year later, just as he prophesied; I gave birth to my destiny child.

2 kings 4:8-36. *** The Shunamite woman’s testimony has been recorded not just to show us how God works through His prophets, but also to teach us to cast all our cares and worries on Him. When we focus on the things God has called us to do, we will surely get rewarded.

No matter where God has planted you, be the best in that place and whatever you do, do it with all your heart as unto the Lord and not unto man (Colossians 3:23).

Waiting on God for the fruit of the womb is not easy especially after being married for more than two years. This is a battle you must first conquer from within by deciding to focus on doing God’s work, and then His peace will overshadow you. God alone knows the very best way to reward you and satisfy your heart’s desire and He will do it in such a way that you will be astounded.

After what I experienced before I had my son, I always thought it might take a while before I conceive again but God shocked me.

As my son turned one, I realised number two was on the way! Isn’t God awesome? When you least expect it, He shows up for you. Just like the story of the Shunamite woman, get your mind off those worries, focus on Godly things and when you least expect it, your destiny’s child will come. www.effectualmag.com

Hair Clinic

in partnership with www.recarecos.com

The Benefits Of A Deep Conditioning Treatment

D

eep conditioning treatment is a way to replenish hair moisture. It is done so as to repair and/or prevent further damage to an already dry and frizzled hair.

Overuse of the hair dryer or curling irons, as well as environmental toxins and chemicals like Chlorine and those found in some colouring products can damage the hair and strip away its natural shine, leaving it weak and unhealthy. A deep conditioning treatment helps repair and restore the hair, and improve its appearance.

Each strand of the hair has three distinct layers, the medulla, the cortex and the cuticle.

The cuticle is the thin outer layer of the hair that serves as the protective barrier to the middle layer which is the cortex. The cuticle is composed of tiny transparent cells that overlap like on a scale of a fish. When this layer of hair is damaged, the scales don’t lie flat and this gives the appearance of a frizzy, dry hair.

A deep conditioning treatment will condition the cuticles and the help the scale-like cells to lie flat again, giving the hair a smoother and finer appearance.

One of the reasons the hair may become unmanageable is because it has been stripped of its moisture. Using a hair dryer, curling iron and other heat source on the hair very often will cause it to lose moisture. A deep conditioning treatment will restore the moisture back to the hair, making the strands to appear fuller. Adding moisture will help plump the hair, giving it a smoother and healthier appearance.

A deep conditioning treatment can be part of a regular healthy hair care regimen or a part of a hair reconstruction therapy.

Since deep conditioning treatments penetrate

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the hair shaft, some deep conditioning formulas, such as the Natures Gentle Touch Deep Conditioning Cholesterol Treatment are designed to help repair broken hair strands.

This design has a blend of Vegetable Proteins, Shea Butter and Vitamin E that aid cell growth and tissue formation. During use, the formula penetrates the hair cuticle and strengthens from within.

Deep conditioning treatments are known to replenish moisture in the hair and if done regularly (at least once a week), it will prevent the hair from being damaged.

Helpline: Are you suffering from hair breakage,

dandruff, hair loss, slow hair growth or other hair and scalp problems, visit the Natures Gentle Touch Hair Institute at Plot 209, Muri Okunola Street, Victoria Island, Lagos for expert diagnosis and treatment. You can also call or email 01-4627442 or info@naturesgentletouchinstitute.com respectively.

2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

41

Victoria’s Secrets

Lotions, Creams and Sunscreen

By Yemisi Dada

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Victoria’s Secrets

E

xtreme and unpredictable weather calls for careful treatment of our skin. Venturing out under the glaring sun without the necessary protection, will leave your skin patchy, rough and in some cases with severe skin damage. The remedy is using the right body lotion or moisturizers.

However, before you approach that counter it is important to be sure you are buying the right lotion that will protect you properly from the sun’s rays as the choice of a body lotion may change from season to season due to variation in temperature. Two secret ingredients that do wonders for the skin are shear butter and sunscreen.

Different weather and seasons call for different skin care approaches. In cold weather a lotion with Shea butter or an intensive moisturizing ingredient will work. In hot weather something lighter with sunscreen will suffice.

Another important thing to consider is the parts of the body on which the creams and lotions are used. For most women, a heavier lotion on the feet and sometimes on the elbows and not on the arms, legs and torso would be good practice.

Sometimes, this heavy lotion having Shea butter as a main ingredient are wonderful for both feet and elbows but may not be appropriate for other parts of the body.

Another secret is to ensure that you do not use the same lotion that you apply on your body on your face or the other way round. My advice is to have three separate lotions with one for the face, the other for your upper body and lastly a more than capable lotion that will attack those scaly areas.

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My advice is to have three separate lotions with one for the face, the other for your upper body and lastly a more than capable lotion that will attack those scaly areas.

Ultimately, for that wonderful and radiant skin all year round, the following tips will come in handy: If you are looking to attack those stretch marks that are of great concern to you, lotions that contain antioxidant, though expensive, will do just fine, For sensitive skin, consult an expert first before purchasing that lotion. Making the mistake that every lotion will work for you might just damage your skin, Testing with sample products or buying a small bottle to test if the lotion works for you is a good idea.

Many people get carried away with the scent of the lotion which in some instances conflict with your perfume creating an unpleasant smell. Be less concerned about the fragrance of the lotion as the most important reason for purchasing the lotion is to nourish the skin.

Always concentrate on the ingredients and get rid of the notion that the cheaper they are the less effective they are. You will be surprised that some expensive lotions may do more damage than good after drilling a hole in your pocket, or is it bag now?

A great skin is the pride of any woman, go out there, get the right products and sparkle irrespective of season. Have fun!!!

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Meat In Due Season

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Meat In Due Season

Conquer Yourself

By Mark Mordi

I put my body under lest I am cast away after preaching to others. 1 Corinthians 9:27.

A

ccording to Rom 8:29, we are predestined to be conformed into the image of the son of God with Jesus as our older brother and role

model.

Life is a battlefield and the battle is personal to every child of God. Our Christianity is basically about character formation. This is no idle talk, it is about our faith walk and something we must be able to show proof of over time. There are allies and enemies in every battle and in order to take delivery of God’s promises for our lives; we must connect with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit as our ally, our enabler, supporter, and teacher.

The enemies in this battle are the devil and our flesh. The devil exerts influence on our flesh and the quantum of control that the devil exerts here can imply that our all becomes for the enemy. He uses our flesh against us in our cravings and our desires or urges. The key is not to corporate with the enemy. Every time you give in to those desires it is a corporation with him.

How do we conquer ourselves?

Self discipline motivated by our love for God www.effectualmag.com

is the key to conquering ourselves. The key here is discipline and consistence. You have to be determined to control your desires and appetites and give your all to it. This cannot be achieved with help from the Spirit of God. Put yourself under His control. Ask for grace to go the extra mile. What impresses God is not the normal, it is the extra. There’s a need for us to stretch ourselves to go the extra mile to please God by conquering the flesh in our daily lives.

Examples of people who did more than the ordinary Solomon—Offered a thousand burnt offerings.

Moses—At eighty he must have gone up Mount Sinai at least five times.

David—Being in the wilderness alone tending sheep must have taken self discipline.

Jesus—It took a submission to the will of God and a subjection of His flesh to remain in the garden of Gethsemane considering that He had an idea what He was to face.

John the Baptist—Living in the wild.

There is no gainsaying that there is a direct correlation between self discipline and success.

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Meat In Due Season

Rewards Of Surrender God exalts the man who exercises self discipline and succeeds. Philippians 2:6-9.

Promotion also comes as a result of discipline and consistently. Hebrews 12:2.

Much more than our rights in Christ is our willingness to fight for those rights.

Self discipline is one of the tools by which we stand and fight for our rights in Christ.

Prayer, Studying God’s word and spiritual exercises which put us ahead cannot be

Self discipline is equal to self leadership.

This helps us to set our priorities right and get results. The enemy wants us to remain lawless so he brings suggestions and deceit that make us think there are no boundaries. What we need to do is ensure that we exert self discipline, so we set boundaries and respect those boundaries. Self Control according to Joyce Meyer is pivotal to our successes as Christians.

Conquering ourselves means walking according to the pattern God has chosen for us. accomplished without a healthy dose of discipline. It takes conquering our flesh to be able to deny ourselves the pleasure of rest or relaxation to seek God and find Him. God seeks to connect with us and release His power to the earth through us. However, power without control is a disaster waiting to happen, and God will not release power to a vessel that will blow the chance through a lack of character. This is why we need to conquer the part of us those allies with the devil, our flesh and its desires.

What to surrender In reality we should surrender our all to control of the Holy Spirit.

Our Will, Resources, Decisions, Bodies, Relationships, everything.

Conquering ourselves means walking according to the pattern God has chosen for us. And if His plans for us are of good and not of evil, the least we can do is strive to get there by leaning on Him and trusting Him for Grace to adhere.

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Heart Song

Better than a alleluia

D

earest father, there definitely is a song in my heart today.

I have looked at how broken and useless I can be sometimes and I remember that as hard as I try I still fall short. There have been times when you have told me specifically what I should do, yet I go the opposite direction because my flesh is in charge. At these times I wonder if I can ever find my way back to you. I wonder if you will ever let me in, and that is when I remember that as badly behaved as the prodigal son was, his father took him back home. I remember that this is not the first time I have had need to come before you to own up that I have messed up, and I do vividly remember that each time you let me in, you are quick to forgive and accept me, broken and all.

That is why I recognise that you are not waiting for me to be perfect before you will relate to me. In fact, I recognise that when I pour out my miseries, you hear a melody. Beautiful is the way you see the mess that I am. As long as my cries are honest even when my heart is breaking, you hear a sound better than a alleluia.

Lord I am so excited that you will take my ashes and give me beauty in return.

You give me strength for fear; you give me gladness for my mourning and peace when I am in despair. Nothing I do can make you love me less; all you do is make my life beautiful, beautiful. What I now know is that each of those times you look at me, rather than see the person that I am, you see the person that I can be. www.effectualmag.com

You break through my darkness with your grace and your light comes flooding in, like sunlight burning at midnight, your mercy comes to save. Now I am at peace, I feel bold to come to your throne of grace to receive mercy to help.

That is why the song in my heart is that my cries when you hear them are better than a alleluia sometimes. I do not need to be perfect, I just need to submit to your order and you my King will make my life beautiful, beautiful.

I love you Lord, because you first loved me. This is the song in my heart this day.

—Bidemi

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Impressions

Forgive and Forget!

I

By Kemi Oyelude

t has been said that, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Offenses are heavy, deadly toxins. These are the things people have done or have not done, said or did not say.

They are the betrayals, broken trust and slights. Some wounds are more insidious, they are purposeful, spiteful actions loaded with hurt and aimed right at us.

Sometimes people hurt us intentionally and other times they did not mean to do us harm. In both cases we hurt, and while the offenses may be different, all of them have something in common, they are heavy to carry.

Forgiveness is first a decision, a choice.

That’s pretty simple. I have been hurt and I am choosing to forgive. From there it becomes more complicated. How do I forgive the person who has wounded me, whether purposefully or not? How do I go from the hurt through the anger (and my need for my justice) to the healing? Often in my life I have valiantly declared that I have forgiven, only to find months or even years later that the wound did not heal. I had simply pushed the pain into the closet of my heart. Without warning the door 48

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opens, everything stuffed inside comes spilling out and I feel the pain as strongly as the day the offense happened. Yes, I had decided to forgive, but I did not complete the work. There is first a decision and then a process. If you stop with the decision to forgive, work is not done. The forgiveness you’ve declared is unfinished business and you will be back to work through the process in the future.

Hurts are not created equally. Note that some things don’t need forgiving–they need patience, perspective and a good sense of humour. We must be careful what we give our strength and attention to. We www.effectualmag.com

Impressions

only have so much strength to go around, so we need to be pretty selective. Other wounds cut deeper. They are not mild annoyances or petty issues. Smedes writes about these too. “The hurt that creates a crisis of forgiving has three dimensions. It is personal, unfair and deep.”

When you feel this kind of three dimensional pain, you have a wound that can be healed only by forgiving the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness is not the noble and righteous thing to do when someone hurts us deeply; it is what we do to heal.

Forgiveness always unlocks more than one door. When I forgive, I let go of my need for retribution and my right to punish you. I release you from an emotional prison and in that moment I set myself free as well. I unlock two doorsyours and mine.

This is true even when we are right. You can be a hundred percent right but if you allow bitterness into your life, there will be damage. There are two paths available to us when we have been wounded by another person.

Inherently that means we choose to heal or to allow the wound to affect the way we think, feel, and act in the future. When we hurt, the natural response may be to

withdraw emotionally. Withdrawal is a form of punishment and it will not solve the problem because it does not involve resolution. It is the first step down a very destructive path.

The choices we make when we are hurt by others become the seeds we plant.

These seeds don’t just grow in one area of our life or relationship. Hebrews 12:15 says, ‘keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.’

What we plant in one relationship will spread to impact all of our relationships.

Forgiveness is not an event or an emotion.

It is a process and a decision.

Count the cost–what is the bitterness costing you? Acknowledge what has been lost.

Confront the offense, own your piece of the action then decide to forgive. Connect to people who will help you and pray. If we don’t manage the hurts and disappointments in our lives, we risk becoming the toxins people are trying to expunge from theirs! Find it in your heart to forgive and forget. Remember do not let the sun go down on your anger.

God bless.

Count the cost–what is the bitterness costing you?

Acknowledge what has been lost.

Confront the offense, own your piece of the action then decide to forgive.

Connect to people who will help you and pray.

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Song Pick

SONG TITLE I Give Myself Away ALBUM Arise ARTIST William Mcdowell

I Give Myself Away Chorus: I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me

Chorus: I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me

Verse 1: Here I am Here I stand Lord, my life is in your hands Lord, I’m longing to see Your desires revealed in me I give myself away

Bridge(7X): My life is not my own To you I belong I give myself, I give myself to You

Verse 2: Take my heart Take my life As a living sacrifice All my dreams, all my plans Lord I place them in your hands

Chorus: I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me

Chorus: I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me I give myself away I give myself away So You can use me

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Respect

My Space

By Ebipuamere Porbeni

H

ave you been on a queue or in a bus and though you are not claustrophobic you felt smothered because someone had invaded your space? Do you even know that you have the right to a one-metre radius around you as your personal space? Surprised?

Then come with me on a voyage of discovery as we consider the various personal spaces that you have been taking for granted.

Touch Not As a show of affection, close friends tend to break the boundaries by holding hands, patting one another on the shoulders or even blowing kisses when they meet. You heard me right. Close friends. It is a definite no, no for you to touch someone you are not close to. By so doing you are invading that person’s space. Even when you have to touch by way of shaking hands, a reasonable space must be maintained between the both of you.

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You Are Too Close Did you notice that the person you were speaking with at that public function kept on moving a step back every time you appeared to be too close? The person, probably out of politeness, did not tell you that you were invading their space. You must consciously remember that this is an irritating habit and should be done away with.

Body Contact It is a narrow pathway or a narrow doorway in the office. You do not want to be accused of sexual harassment if you brush your body against your colleague www.effectualmag.com

Details

who is of the opposite sex. You want to step aside and allow the other party easy way through. This also applies to spaces in buses; pay out points at the checkout counters. Do not squeeze your body through.

Sitting Too Close Whether In a public place, or in a private sitting room some cultures frown at it when you sit too close to someone even when that person is an acquaintance. You want to leave the space of one seat between you and the next person. But of course when all seats have been taken up, you can take the next available empty space.

Never Lean Across Or Talk Over Someone Never lean across anyone to have a conversation with a third party while in a sitting position. If you are standing, maybe in a cocktail setting, at an exhibition hall you do not want to talk over the shoulder of the person standing close to you immediately you see a familiar face across the room. You will be accused of invading the privacy of the person sitting or standing close to you.

My Desk Is Off Limit Do not be tempted to go through the desk of anyone even if you consider the person to be a friend. You need a clearly spelt out instruction to be able to do so. You will definitely be invading my space if you assume that because the both of us are working on a project together you can rifle through my desk. Even at home you need the express permission of your sibling, flat mate and parents to pick anything from their space. www.effectualmag.com

About E-Mails, Phones, Notes, Letters There can be no greater invasion of one’s space than when personal e-mails, notes, letters are read by a stranger or even a friend. That you are a friendly person should not confer on you the right to go through a private correspondence. You have not been given the right to scroll through text messages and contact details just because a phone is left in your care.

On A General Note Do you not have a feeling of irritation when you hear loud music playing in an

Never lean across anyone to have a conversation with a third party while in a sitting position. area that should be quiet, or the person sitting next to you is speaking so loud on their phone that you hear all the details of the conversation? You probably did not know that when you drag your feet or an object through an otherwise quiet room you are invading the privacy and space of someone. If the essence of etiquette is to learn to live according to rules of proper living, then respecting other people’s space should be of prime importance to every one of us.

It has been nice coming your way this edition. Thank you for being part of my world. God bless always.

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Sista Power

LINDA WALLACE:

Sista Beyond Borders

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met Mama Linda for the first time very early on a Tuesday morning straight from the airport after a flight to Johannesburg from Lagos, Nigeria.

Mama Linda is the Founder of A Company of Women, an international ministry of women who are a support system for women using one on one coaching. Mama Linda is sister to my Coach Anna McCoy and we were converging in South Africa to hear God’s heart concerning the women of the world.

From that first hug and the conversation that ensued, without a doubt I knew that we were in the company of God’s

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own daughter! We had the opportunity to spend ten days with Mama Linda, and her knowledge of different nations of the world and her genuine love for the women of these nations just blessed me.

By the next day, I had been able to find out that Linda has a heart for nations and she had been coming to South Africa for over eleven years. She was constantly on the phone calling different women in different parts of South Africa to let them know we had arrived. Amongst these women was Rose Mathebula. Sisi Rose had been assigned to Mama Linda on previous visits to South Africa to act both www.effectualmag.com

Sista Power

as her companion and, in some cases, her interpreter.

However, when Sisi Rose entered the room the first time after we arrived, I knew instantly that this woman held a special place in Mama Linda’s heart. It soon unfolded that even though Rose was South African and Linda met her in the course of her travels, she had quickly risen to become her close friend, sister and confidant.

As the story was told to me, Rose loved to pray and intercede and she also had a dream to attend Bible College in the United States. A feat Mama Linda and her husband made happen. But who was to know that while Rose was with Linda, she (Linda) and her husband would be involved in a ghastly motor accident that might have left her not able to walk, but for the mercy of God! During this period, the seed of love, care and favour that Linda had extended to Rose came back so quickly full circle.

Linda could not walk for months and needed constant care and attention. Rose was there to nurse her, pray with and over her and encourage her. Together they worked to ensure that Linda not only got off her sick bed but progressed nicely from wheel chair to walking with a cane and finally to be able to walk on her own!

When I watched these two women, I saw how when as sistas we give power away, with time, it can come back to us.

I can also tell you that Linda had no idea

Thank you Mama Linda for pouring your love out so freely to the women of the nations, we celebrate you! Your husband and children, and generations will arise to call you blessed. how making herself and her gifts available to the women of the world will be paid back in such tangible ways.

While in South Africa on that trip, my body succumbed to the flu, and I cannot begin to count how many cups of tea Mama Linda made for me. I can testify to the fact that Linda’s servant heart is the reason why she stands out as the Sista that should be celebrated on this page. Linda’s gift is love, she loves so freely that when you make it within her space, you cannot but feel special and recognise that God loves you too.

Thank you Mama Linda for pouring your love out so freely to the women of the nations, we celebrate you! Your husband and children, and generations will arise to call you blessed.

Love you Mama Linda

—Bidemi

Thanks to everyone who responded to our last article concerning our sista, Abigail.

May God bless you richly. For those who still want to reach out to her, please text or call 08029056642. www.effectualmag.com

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Reflections

The Roundabout Treatment

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here was a time when I thought that there was nothing enviable about my life. At that time it appeared like anything I put my hand to, failed. Be it relationships, career, business, ministry etc nothing seemed to work. All I found to do at the time was to serve other people in the Lord. Night or day I just served. I served until I was like a wall paper in a room – in place yet invisible.

I remember the shock on the face of a member of my church at the time when someone mentioned in passing that I was a lawyer! This sister in church turned in my direction, mouth agape and asked in astonishment, “You are a graduate of law! What

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By Ebiye Tammy Koko

are you doing working in Church?!

I wondered too, but at the time it was all that I was permitted to do by the Lord.

Through the years I have found myself working at jobs that I had no business working on based on my qualifications. I felt that I had a greater capacity for far more, but the Lord did not open those doors for me. These experiences were very humbling, but I stuck to those roles and positions because it was what I was given.

I wanted to be somebody, to be recognised, to be celebrated, to be rewarded, but rather I was given roles and assignments that rewarded, celebrated and recognised other people. Sometimes, it was very tough and I

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Reflections

must be honest to admit that I walked away from some of those assignments in anger and pride. Decreasing that another may increase is one of the toughest postures for man to assume yet if we do not give first consideration to who gets the glory we will get a lot done and the world would certainly be a better place.

Today, looking back, I have come to understand that God was walking me to my high places in a roundabout way, just as He did with the Israelites after they left Egypt.

There was a much shorter route to Canaan, the land of promise, yet they wandered around in the wilderness seemingly aimless for forty years. What was God’s game plan? His game plan was to teach humility and dependency on Him. That experience revealed the condition of their hearts. Those who chose to repent and decrease before the Almighty God made it to Canaan. Others who were stubborn ended in dry graves in the wilderness.

God is still in the business of leading us in seemingly confusing and roundabout ways. The game plan is still the same – to teach humility and dependency on the Lord.

God wants us empty of self that He may get us in position for His purpose.

When the report came to John the Baptist that Jesus was increasing in ministry and ‘stealing’ all his followers, John was sincerely able to respond: “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:27,30) John humbly submitted and surrendered all because He had had the roundabout treatment. Decreasing was a lesson he had learnt in the past because God raised him in the wilderness. He did not learn or study ministry in expensive theological seminaries but in the hard trenches of the wilderness. He www.effectualmag.com

was the only son of a prominent priest, but he was removed from his father’s house and lived in the wilderness. For clothing he had only patched animal skin and for food he had locusts and unpurified honey! He lived in the wilderness at the mercy of the elements and wild beasts. In these conditions he learned decreasing and total dependence on God. Because of this divine treatment or training, it was easy for him to step aside so that the Lord may shine and take glory.

Achieving zero living or dependency on God is not an automatic grace. You get to that point by meekly walking with the

Achieving zero living or dependency on God is not an automatic grace.

You get to that point by meekly walking with the Lord through the low points of life.

Lord through the low points of life. We fear decreasing because we believe that our value is in what we own or have achieved yet real value of life is in total submission to the Lord.

It is my humble prayer that you and I will learn to surrender all and meekly follow Jesus wherever He may lead us. In following, sometimes we may walk in a roundabout way for a long time, sometimes we may cry bitter tears and may suffer rejection of loved ones, but we must be confident that the end will indeed be good.

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Graceville

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Graceville

I Can Do Without You

By Shade Vaughan

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everal years ago, I was serving my country on the compulsory National Youth Service Corp scheme (NYSC) in Lokoja, Kogi state of Nigeria. I was an active member of the Nigerian Christian Corpers Fellowship.

For the first time one day, I did everything possible to get to the fellowship house in good time. Alighting from the motorbike, I noticed that I had no earrings on.

Today, of all days; I’ll be standing before the people to say the opening prayer and I’m without my earrings? I felt empty, incomplete and thought I looked too pale without them. I jumped back on the motorbike and went for my earrings. I thought I would make it in good time.

The only earring that matched my outfit had missing a piece. I searched everywhere but could not find it. Believe me; I changed my clothes to accommodate another set of matching earrings. I got out only to discover that the bike rider had left in annoyance as I had kept him waiting www.effectualmag.com

for longer than necessary. I finally got to the fellowship house thirty-five minutes late, the service was half way through and someone else had taken my place.

I didn’t feel bad at all so long as I was looking my best self. After the meeting, the fellowship president asked why I was late; smiling, I told him what had happened to me. His response changed everything.

“Sister Shade, what would have happened if between the first time you arrived and the second time you returned Jesus had come?” I went numb. I was speechless and ashamed. I went away sad. I had just been confronted with something I had idolised.

I got back to my room, looked at all my jewelry and said ‘I can do without you.’

I meant it. I did not use any form of jewelry for four years until my wedding day.

I needed to prove to myself that I was not attached to them, and I could do without them.

Ladies, do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that using jewelry is a sin. No, 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Graceville

Irrespective of whatever may be acceptable in the world today, God still wants His children to have a different spirit. He wants us to empty ourselves of anything that may be jostling for His place and trust Him, the glory and the lifter of our heads. far from it. I use them now but I am not strongly attached. There are things that we have become unconsciously addicted to.

These things in themselves are harmless but our attitude to them may have become both harmful and sinful. “...All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” 1 Corinthians 6:12.

Many things have brought us ladies under their gripping power and we do not bother simply because they are generally approved in society. These things consume our time, our money and are gradually starting to unseat God from His rightful place in our hearts. I wouldn’t have known mine, or perhaps would have denied it if I was told, but for my experience. Emptying myself before the Lord and allowing His Holy Spirit to show me when I am getting ensnared is my regular approach to not getting addicted to anything. Whatever we cannot do without has become our master.

A sister said to me once, ‘Shade I am so used to my phone, I cannot turn it off even in church. I always leave it on silent mode.” How did she live before the arrival of mobile phones?

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“Anyone who intends to come with Me has to let Me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am...” Luke 9:23-26 (The Message) Maybe the Lord has been speaking to you about stuff that need to go, you can ask for the grace to do so. He will give sufficient grace and seal your obedience with His peace.

Irrespective of whatever may be acceptable in the world today, God still wants His children to have a different spirit. He wants us to empty ourselves of anything that may be jostling for His place and trust Him, the glory and the lifter of our heads.

Finally, let us keep in mind the message to the Laodicean church in Revelation 3:18-19 (The Message) “Here’s what I want you to do: Buy your gold from me, gold that’s been through the refiner’s fire.

Then you’ll be rich. Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You’ve gone around half-naked long enough. And buy medicine for your eyes from me so you can see, really see. The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!” www.effectualmag.com

Raves & Reels

Courageous What is the role of a father? Who really is a father supposed to be to his family? Protector, leader, provider, spiritual guide? Is that all?

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ourageous is simply a movie about fatherhood; The joys, pains, mistakes, triumphs of being a father in these present times. The movie is about four men, all law enforcement officers in Albany, Georgia, who are at different stages in understanding or accepting their role as fathers. The Police sheriff encourages his men to spend time with their families as it has been proven that children with no fathers present in their lives have a high risk of turning to crime.

Adam Mitchell loves and cherishes his little daughter but is emotionally distanced from his teenage son, who he accuses of only playing video games and running. Nathan Hayes is ready to give up his life to protect his family, yet he faces his daughter’s resentment of his strict dating rules. Shane Fuller is divorced, like his parents before him and has joint custody of his son. David Thompson, the youngest of the group, is single but happens to have had child out of wedlock, whom he had never acknowledged. Javier Martinez, a struggling immigrant finds his way into the group and they all walk a path of honour and determination together. They resolve to sign a resolution drawn up by Adam Mitchell in which they commit to honouring their families by being the kind of men and fathers God expects of them. Will they live up to this resolution or will they stumble along the way, unable to look beyond the distractions and the temptations that are sure to come?

Watch this movie for the deep message and inspiration it represents.

Courageous is a terrific movie every man, indeed every family must see!

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Woman Act Now Journey to Zero Power Center GPS (God Positioning System) 2012 Theme: Walk Powerful As Zero A Message from the Chief Encouragement Officer, Coach Anna McCoy

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elcome to the third and fourth lessons of the Woman Act Now Journey to Zero. If you are experiencing this study for the first time we encourage you to order the previous edition of Effectual Magazine–Beyond the Surface to learn the meaning of the Power of Zero, and how to Walk Powerful in Spirit and Vision. This study builds on each principle to help you develop your spiritual muscle to walk powerful with God as you demonstrate His will in your life. It is most effective in group study, we encourage you to reconvene with your Power Agents or form a new Power Center of three or more women to experience the journey together.

This study will teach you how to Walk Powerful to Persist and Walk Powerful in Being. Zero living requires that you know your identity; you understand how to persist to remain with God and overcome the need for comparisons in your life. Zero living is allowing yourself to engraft the Spirit of God into your being and to consider God’s perspective on every matter. It is using the marker of zero to turn down the dial of your personality, desires, emotions and actions to hear, obey and do readily what God says to you to do now.

MONTH THREE: WALK POWERFUL TO PERSIST

A

ccording to Webster’s definition, the word persist means to continue despite difficulties, opposition or discouragement. A common view of persistence in one’s life is to stick in there, do whatever is necessary to get what you want or to continue in the fight or finish a course of action. Are you ready to change the way you see the power to persist to do it your way instead of persisting to remain in God so that you may experience the reward of (fill this gap with whatever you desire)? it will be done for you!

Interestingly, the use of words evolve or change according to the times and circumstances in which a word is used. Let’s consider the Hebrew meaning of persist which means to abide, remain, continue, or stay. Notice the difference between the emphasis of Webster’s current definition and the origins of the word persist in Hebrew. Webster keeps us looking outward to accomplish something as if there is something out there that doesn’t want us to have this thing we desire. The Hebrew origins suggest that we are a part of something and we must remain, stay, continue and abide in it.

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Our greatest challenge living the Zero life is to remain in God. To remain is to decrease; it is complete surrender for His will to be done. Every moment, hour, or day we are faced with thinking we must solve every problem, that we have the option to abandon righteousness when it is convenient to seek our own way or simply operate in our own power. Walking powerful to persist demands that we no longer press against the grain but rather abide in the vine, stay connected, stay the course, ask God for the things we want and expect it will be done for us because we have persisted to abide in Him RATHER THAN PERSIST TO FIGHT AN ENEMY, AN OBSTACLE, AN OPPOSITION OR TO OVERCOME! John 15:5-8 reads I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

There are several lessons to be discovered in this scripture.

1. God is established as the source of life (I am the vine).

2. We are established as being connected to the source. (Branches connected to the vine) 3. The purpose of the branch is established. (Produce or bear much fruit, the seed will produce after its kind only) 4. The consequence of disconnection from the Vine. (Nothing will be accomplished) 5. Law of the power to persist (If you remain in me and my words remain in you) 6. Reward to abide, remain, stay and continue in God (Ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.)

7. Glory of the Vine–The branches (You will be productive and fruitful) Abiding in God is our answer; His anointing teaches us about all things. Our English language has eroded the power of the word persists and made it something that we can stop when we have grown tired, something we can cease when it is no longer convenient. Without the power of true persistence (abiding in the Vine) we would cease to exist with God, die spiritually, discontinue in truth, quit on our divine destiny, stop pursuing faithfulness and depart from the Way, the Truth and the eternal life of God. We can do nothing without Him but we can do everything remaining in Him. Group or Individual Study: Invite two other friends to discuss and empower each other as you review this lesson.

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Scripture: 1 John 3:9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. Reflections: 1. Think about these words, stay, continue, remain and abide, what do they mean to you?

2. How has your understanding of persistence changed as a result of this study?

3. How have you persisted to get the things you want in life rather than persisting in God to allow Him to guide you to what He wants for you?

4. How does persisting equate to Zero living?

5. Think of a couple of areas in your life that you want to persist to remain in God when you have felt it necessary to do it your own way?

Prayer: Father, help us to know how to abide in the vine, trust you for the answers that only you can give when we are faced with opposition, challenges or discouragement. I know that as I abide and choose you as my refuge that you will make my way perfect.

I choose to remain in the Vine so that I may be productive for you and experience the wonders of (fill this gap with whatever you desire) and it will be done for me.

Memorize WAN Covenant: This covenant is an agreement between a woman and her word, which holds her accountable for her own success. With this joint effort of others, she will achieve it. Embrace these words, live them, and act on them. Become all that you are meant to be. #3 Think Creatively: I commit my time and my mind to thinking creatively, envisioning my future and taking actions on my dreams.

Month Four: Walk Powerful in Being

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p to a point a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, movements and changes in the world around him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be.

Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, “This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.” ~Louis L’Amour To walk powerful in being I must know my origin; who am I? John 1:3 reads, through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. To answer the question, “Who am I?” we must ask this question of ourselves

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and God, where did I exist before I came into being? Being is existence, presence, and life (to be alive). According to the Hebrew translation of hayah (being), the word being means to exist, to be (am), to abide, remain or continue.

Exodus 3:14 states, “And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM; and he said, thus shall thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.”

The word AM is being, to be, remain (past or yesterday), exist (present, today) and continue (future, forevermore). Genesis 2:7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being (a living AM). I know you might think this is a bit too much to consider yourself “I AM THAT I AM” but I beg to differ that you are an “I AM” not “The I AM”, however you are more like the “I AM” than you will dare to believe.

The battle for your infinite greatness is locked within your perception of the “I AM” in you.

First, let’s revisit mankind’s origin. Where did mankind exist before man came to be? Mankind, including you, existed in the thought of God and came to be from a word spoken, Genesis 1:26, Then God said, let us make man in our image, in our likeness... This is our originality, we are made in the image and likeness of God (identity), and in Exodus 3:14 God describes himself as “I AM.” The word “AM” can be inserted at the end of Genesis 2:7, and man became a living AM (in the likeness of God). Do not be afraid to be a living AM, should you choose to believe this teaching today you will discover the truth of the “I AM” hidden in you before you were ever knitted together in your mother’s womb. No one has the ability to create your “I AM.” This journey is about getting to zero and discovering the great “I AM” in you and when you make that discovery you will choose to love yourself and agree with the “I AM that I AM” in you. This is the beckoning we hear, the cry of who I am will be answered by the “I AM.” Reflect the “I AM” The “I AM” in you will only be strengthened by your knowing the true attributes and character of God. When we believe and demonstrate the knowing of the “I AM’s” power within us we will be like that which is mentioned in 2Corinthians 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. This is the reflection of the “I AM’s” power at work in us and through us when we walk powerful in being. If it exists in the “I AM” then the potential of that existence can manifest through mankind or within you.

I AM your healer

I am healed

I AM your provider

I am provided for

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I AM righteousness

I am righteous

I AM a forgiver

I am forgiven

I AM wisdom

I am wise

I AM just

I am justified

I AM good

I am good

I AM faithful

I am faithful

I AM truth

I am truthful

Creative Law of “I AM” Walking powerful in being is owning your “I AM.” The only person who can speak words of “I AM” to you is you. People only repeat what they think you are with statements such as, “she is...”or “you are...” The creative law of “I AM” says I alone have the power to speak who I desire to be. When I don’t know myself I can become anyone but I have the ability to align my “I AM” decrees with God’s image of me.

Individual and Group Exercise: (Invite two or more friends to discuss in your Power Center) You are encouraged as a part of this lesson to use the Creative Law of “I AM” by writing out your ABC’s of your “I AM.” Instructions: On a sheet of paper write the alphabets A-Z. For each alphabet identify an “I AM” that you think will be the most accurate likeness of God in you. For example, write out I AM Able, I AM Bold, I AM Character-centered, I AM Disciplined, I AM Excellent... Once you have written your ABC’s take a moment to share them with your Power Agents. Print the “I AMs and repeat them three times a day as affirmations until you have memorized them and engrafted them in your heart. Give yourself twenty-one days of practicing your “I AMs” and you will experience change in your thoughts, actions and habits. Also share this exercise with your children and family and help them identify their ABC’s of “I AM.” The Big C, The Enemy Of Walking Powerful In Being The Big “C” is comparison; it is the enemy of being. Genesis 3:5 “For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” Pay close attention to what was spoken to Eve, “ye shall be as gods”, this is the comparison to something else other than the “I AM” in her. The minute you begin to consider comparing yourself to others rather than remaining in God you will be deceived from believing you are God’s creation, assignment, and perfection. Trust Him to complete you.

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Reflections 1. How do you identify with the “I AM” in you?

2. In what areas might you be guilty of comparing yourself to others?

3. How will you master being more like God? 4. Can you think of any situation you allowed comparisons to change who you really are?

5. What consequences have you faced in your life because you chose not to be like God and demonstrate His character and attributes?

Prayer Father, help us to be more like you. You have made us in your image and your likeness. You want us to be like you, to embody your attributes and your

www.effectualmag.com

character. Empower us with an understanding of the creative law of “I AM” that we may know you within ourselves as we pursue to be more like you daily.

Teach me how to compare to your likeness and not others so that I may exist to serve you and continue in your Way. In Jesus name, Amen.

Memorize WAN Covenant: #4 Master Education: I am an executor of my ideas and I master closing the gap between my thoughts and my actions.

For more information about Woman Act Now visit www.womanactnow.com To join Woman Act Now Nigeria, contact Bidemi Mark-Mordi on 08029056642.

Email: womanactnow2011@gmail.com or visit the WAN Secretariat at Festival suites, 5th Avenue, A1Close, Festac Town, Lagos.

2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Dressing Up Continued from last edition

Shoe Care

F

or Patent Leather, Exotic, Snake Skins and Suede shoes, please note that there are specialist products on the market and it is advisable to buy these to preserve your shoes. So next time you are out shoe shopping and the Sales Assistant starts talking about shoe care, which they do, LISTEN as she is in fact trying to save you money as well as earn herself some extra commission. Remember once you have stocked up on the basics, you do not need to buy again.

Quick Shoe Care Tips: Banana skin is good for putting a good shine on leather shoes.

Baking Soda sprinkled inside shoes will absorb bad odour.

Rubbing Petroleum Jelly, Milk or Olive 68

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By Idayatu Braithwaite

Oil occasionally on your Patent shoes will prevent them from cracking.

Use shoe trees as they help to keep the original shape of shoes.

If your shoes get wet, dry them by stuffing newspapers inside and wrap each shoe in newspaper. Place them in a warm place and the newspaper will absorb the moisture.

Frayed laces can be dipped in clear nail varnish to stop them being completely ruined.

To restore worn suede shoes, use steam and a suede brush to buff up the material.

Use a very fine sandpaper to clean Nubuck leather. It works perfectly.

So Ladies get into your shoe cupboard and start a new phase by looking after your feet, as well as your body and soul.

www.effectualmag.com

PS

Home Maker Plus

It’s all in the Arrangement

By Choice Living Interior Design Tel: 0802 292 7337

1

Create a Focal Point.

If your space lacks a natural focal point like a large or interesting window, you will need to create a central interest around which you can form various furniture groupings. A large wall-mounted painting or a group of smaller paintings might be suitable. Other possibilities include an interesting bookcase or a media wall. A wall-mounted shelf 70

 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 2012

displaying a collection of art, pottery or glass wares might also suffice. Additionally, even a low table holding an assortment of interesting objects could be a suitable focal point.

Manipulating Space.

In general, rooms that have a lot of space around the furnishings look much better than the overcrowded rooms because they seem lighter and airier.

2

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Home Maker Plus

Besides improving the aesthetics of a room, the manipulation of space plays an important part in establishing traffic patterns especially when planning the position of furniture so that there can be easy movement throughout the room.

Thankfully, establishing these is mostly a matter of common sense but there are a few guidelines to keep in mind.

These guidelines will be made available subsequently.

Creating Balance.

When it comes to balance, most rooms look best with a predominant number of low pieces set off here and there by taller pieces of varying heights. For example, these can progress from a low upholstered sofa to an arm chair, then to a side table and lamp and finally to the really tall lines of an armoire, a painting or a mirror over a side table or sideboards(dressers or bureaus)and tall indoor plants.

3

A Quick Checklist Use this checklist to remind yourself of all the factors you need to take into consideration before finalising the furniture placement in a room.

99 Practicality—will it work well?

99 Aesthetics—will it look good?

99 Organisation of Space—have you allowed enough space around individual items of furniture?

99 Traffic Planning—can people move around easily?

99 Scale and Balance—will the furnishings look interesting and varied and without any individual item dominating?

99 Ease of Use—will people be able to hear music and see television properly, and is there a good focal point?

Issn 0331-6319

For Women & Those Who Love Them

effectual For The spirit Controlled Woman

Life with

OptiOns God’s Leading Lady Oghogho Makinde The Lady and The Law meat In Due season You Are stronger Than You Think You Are! home maker Palava sauce

+ regulars spring Victoria’s secrets Parenting Me 2 U Issue 4 voLume 3 n500, €2.50, $4.50

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Has effectual been a blessing to you?

Are you passionate about getting the message out?

Will you like to earn extra money by being a distributor?

Then call 08029056642, 08029470009 or 07042178214 or email info@effectualmag.com 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

71

Summer

My strength in His

By Nafan

L

ife, since the last time I wrote on this page, has been one serious learning curve for me. If you remember, I had returned to work and in my last article, I was fretting over if I should stay back at home and just resign from work, and I quickly pointed out that because Biodun is on the verge of leaving his job to pursue his dream, it was not feasible at the moment for me to leave my job too.

I concluded that I will have to go back to work and leave IB at home with Aunty B, our Nanny; but more importantly in the hands of God Himself. The experience also opened my eyes to the struggle mothers go through when they have to return to work, especially those who do not have capable help. This inspired me to begin to push for a Crèche within our office facility so that mothers like me will be at work, and be fully present at the job, because they have peace about how their children are doing.

Well, I have not been able to get all the approval that is required yet, but I am most definitely going to keep pushing until the approval is given. Biodun disengages from his job at the end of this month and I believe God for a smooth transition. Please pray along with us.

However, I had the scare of my life three weeks ago and the experience has opened my eyes again to how to deepen 72

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Summer

my relationship when trouble comes knocking on our doors. I had just returned from work a clear two hours early because Aunty B called me to say that IB had been running a temperature for a while and even though she had administered some Paracetamol she thought I should be aware.

I cannot remember how I drove but I did get home in record time. Biodun had been out of town for three days, and I was again in God’s hands. I got home and true to Aunty B’s report, IB had really high temperature. I quickly toweled him down with some cool water and was trying to change so we could head to the hospital when I suddenly heard Aunty B shouting and asking me to come quickly. I ran out, barely dressed, and all I remember is that I looked at my baby and all I could see was the white of his eyes! He was convulsing!

I screamed and then I remembered that I needed to do something before we even left for the hospital. So I started to speak in tongues and cry at the same time. In that chaos I heard the Spirit of God say to me, ‘prove your faith with your works.’ As if I had an epiphany, I ran into the room again, picked up my cheque book and ran out. I remembered that Malachi 3 says that

if we pay our tithes, God will rebuke the devourer for our sakes. As I looked at my son, all I could think was that the devourer had come into my house, and I needed God to rebuke him for my sake! I threw the cheque book on my son, and started to tell God to look upon my tithes and offering and do something.

Just as suddenly as it started, I saw my son take a deep breath and immediately opened his eyes! We still went to the hospital to be certain no damage was done, but that day I learnt what it meant when God says to prove Him… I guess what I am trying to say is I got to zero that day, and God came through for me. I can therefore relate with the fact that when we decrease and we are nothing, God can play His joker on our behalf. My confidence in God is built even further.

I now know that more than anything, I do not need to know all the answers; if I can acknowledge that I need Him, and I am doing my best to follow Him, He will come through for me.

IB is fine now, thanks for asking, and I now know that zero is a great place where I allow God come into my life and be God. Till next time, remember, that you must be a zero for God to be glorified.

Love you.

My confidence in God is built even further. I now know that more than anything, I do not need to know all the answers; if I can acknowledge that I need Him, and I am doing my best to follow Him, He will come through for me.

www.effectualmag.com

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Feature

Lifegate Christian School and the ACE curiculum

O

n the surface, most schools look alike in terms of buildings, personnel, even pupils/students.

But Lifegate Christian School and its kind, running Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) curriculum, are different.

Reason is that LCS’ philosophy of education is built on the basic principles of God’s Word. Pupils learn to see life from God’s point of view, to take responsibility for their learning, to walk in Godly wisdom and character; having Jesus Christ as their ultimate role model.

The individualized learning in Lifegate Christian School allows each child to work at his level of achievement, which may vary from subject to subject. Whether your child is a high level achiever, a moderate learner or one with learning challenge (Attention Disorder) the Lifegate’s curriculum affords the child the opportunity to move from his level and proceed from there.

‘The life of each child is too precious to be left to chance’. Children at LCS are encouraged and strengthened by example, study and prayer, obedience and discipline.

Challenging each child to do his very best ‘’ as unto the Lord ‘’ (Col 3:23).

Lifegate’s children focus on wisdom and understanding in learning for life above mere knowledge.

Every parent desires to preserve their children from the deluge of evil of our time.

LCS simultaneously grounds each child in 74

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the basics of academics and normal daily spirituality. The solution parents are looking for, that is utterly devoid of religiosity, which is worldliness in most sublime expression.

The beauty of LCS curriculum is that pupils can be enrolled at any point in time during the school year. Placement is based on the result of the diagnostic tests which helps evaluate and determine the pupil’s academic needs in each subject. If weak areas are evident appropriate gap PACEs are prescribed to strengthen specific weakness. After completing the gaps, the pupil progresses at his performance level. www.effectualmag.com

Lifegate Christian School...

based on the Accelerated Christian Education curriculum

(Creche, Pre-school, Grade 1-6)

stresses uniqueness of each individual child. places child at exact academic ability by diagnostic testing. incorporates goal setting, characterbuilding and wisdom principles. offers superb education that is affordable. encourages parental involvement. teaches critical thinking skills. produces academic excellence.

For enquiry:

OffersIndividualised learning.

Academic excellence.

Christ-centred instruction.

Character building.

Cost efficiency.

4, Gbagada Expressway, Anthony, Lagos. e-mail: head@lifegatechristianschool.com www.lifegatechristianschool.com

01-8744990; 08191591559; 08079805581

...changing our Nation, one life at a time

Made of Honour

Much more than wealth…

By Remi Roy-Oyeyemi

S

he had started going to the river after her epiphany and not even the promise of a full day’s sales could keep her away. She loved the freedom of being amongst these women. Yes, she had mingled with the high and mighty; the Ephesian women who traveled past Philippi on their way to inner city Macedonia; the wives of Roman officials who were her loyal customers with an attachment to rich fine fabric.

She had made a name amongst them by being a trusted supplier of these finery; but their company only drained her of life and vigour. She didn’t know why but after every busy week of moving from one Roman and Ephesian home to another, selling her wares or dealing with buyers in her chambers, she had to take a full day off. She always felt physically drained.

But here, with these women who had a peace she couldn’t explain, whose limited resources never kept them from having a smile and a good word for everyone, she had found a home.

It was with these women that she heard of the God of the heaven and the earth for the first time. Such a concept was shocking. Why, a one true God? What with all 76

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Made of Honour

the gods and idols that people worshipped in these parts? But slowly she had come to understand and believe in this God. And here, on those rocks and beside the gurgling river she had found a way to connect with Him, this God that could not be seen.

Today was no different; she had come with her servant girls to the river. They all needed to take a break. There was talking and camaraderie. Some women were laundering, while others sat around with their babies. But the small group of women she had befriended was also there. They had heard of the visit of Paul and Silas, men who went through the cities preaching and teaching about Jesus of Nazareth who was raised from the dead; hard words to receive but she had decided to keep an open mind.

These men were respected and revered.

Hadn’t they been responsible for Elymas, the popular sorcerer, going blind? and now there we coming to Philippi. She would relax at the river for a while then head to wherever they would be teaching.

She was still thinking about it when women started talking all at once, getting up and looking towards the city gate. Curious she got up to look and there they were! Paul and Silas, headed toward the river! They had found the company of women and decided to spend some time. Everyone gathered round to hear them speak.

Her heart felt lighter with each word that Paul spoke. They sounded familiar, like she had heard them before. But she had never heard anyone speak of Jesus of Nazareth in such glowing yet sincere terms.

The words didn’t seek to force or deceitfully convince or even threaten, they were real. She could feel the passion with which he spoke. He spoke of living for Jesus, www.effectualmag.com

She smiled at her thoughts. Yes, she would provide a place to rest, food and some victuals for their journey. doing His will. Casting all aside to know and understand his truth; and at that very moment she knew what she must do. She thought of her chambers, large and lush, the money and all she possessed. Of what use were they really? So many years of no peace, no joy, just the constant draining she felt every time she threw herself into work.

Today she would be baptized, she and all her servants. Much more than that she will open up her home, provide shelter and succour to others, and wait, what better way to start than with these men who had brought such good news and hope? Yes, she would walk up to them after the baptisms and she knew just what she would say. She mulled the words over and over in her mind, certain she would not be turned down. “My name is Lydia. I live in this town. Please come over to my house to refresh yourselves and rest. If you consider me a sister in the Lord, I will be much obliged to cater to you.”

She smiled at her thoughts. Yes, she would provide a place to rest, food and some victuals for their journey.

Satisfied with her plan, she got in line with those waiting to be baptized, then bowed her head and prayed, thanking Jesus of Nazareth for opening her eyes to the truth; His truth. Acts 16:12-15 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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According To Luke

Continued from last edition

Infertility:

When Madam Is Definitely Not Barren Dr. Abayomi Ogunwale

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According To Luke

T

he cause of male factor infertility is often unknown. But in some cases, it can be traced to some problems related to:

Sperm production: Male factor infertility may occur if a man is not producing enough sperm or if the sperms being produced are abnormal in shape or not able to move well. Abnormally shaped sperms may not be able to penetrate and fertilize a woman’s egg. Sperms that do not move well may not reach the egg. Causes of sperm production disorders may include a genetic defect, infections, trauma to the testes, hormonal imbalance or exposure to x rays and certain medications.

Anomalies of the anatomy or structure of the man’s reproductive organs: Blockages in the pathways which the sperm travel may cause infertility. This may even be as a result of scar tissues that formed as a result of a previous surgery or from a poorly treated sexually transmitted infection. Varicose veins that develop in the testes may also interfere with sperm production. Some structural defects may be from birth.

Male infertility is usually diagnosed by a semen analysis. This relatively simple test follows a detailed history and examination by an urologist. It involves the man providing a semen sample for a lab to evaluate.

The lab uses this sample to measure the amount of semen and the number of sperm, and to evaluate sperm shape and movement. There are clear instructions on how and when this semen is collected and allowable interval for accurate analysis.

Ideally, the test should be performed at

Varicose veins that develop in the testes may also interfere with sperm production. Some structural defects may be from birth.

Immune system Problems: Some men simply develop antibodies to their own sperms, which may attack and weaken the sperm.

Also, the antibodies may attach to the sperm and interfere with their movement or their ability to fertilize the egg. www.effectualmag.com

least twice to confirm results.

Some causes of male infertility are treatable or correctable through surgery.

Options for treatment may include: Treatment with antibiotics, in cases of infection; surgical correction in order to remove a varicocoele, reverse a vasectomy, or repair a duct obstruction; medications or fertility drugs to improve sperm production.

In cases where the above treatments are unsuccessful, or when the cause for male infertility is unknown or untreatable, artificial reproductive treatment options may be considered such as IUI-Intra uterine insemination and IVF-In vitro fertilization.

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Pastor’s Wife

In the

shadows S

halom, shalom! My name is Portia and I am a PW all the way from Zambia. It is a great pleasure to connect with the world on this page. It is an awesome opportunity and I do pray that what I want to share today will bless you, whether you are a PW or not.

Unlike most Pastors’ wives, I always knew that I was going to end up marrying a Pastor. Not because I was born by one, but because I had the opportunity to get born again early in life during my father’s diplomatic transfer to one of the African nations. If you know anything about diplomats’ families back then you will know that the spouse was not allowed to work or hold a job in the foreign country most of the time.

Now while other wives of diplomats were spending their time entertaining and shopping, my mother was at the stage when she was so hungry for God that you could tell when you met her. As God had ordained it, we found a great church and that was where we spent most of our afternoons and greater part of our weekends.

Because I was an only child, my parents didn’t see the need for live-in domestic staff, especially as my mother insisted that 80

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she needed the work to fill her days. But with my father away at work most of the time, and our house constantly neat and tidy for days on end, my mother still had a lot of time in her hands. When we found our church, my father agreed that it was a great place to learn especially because they had all kinds of great educational sessions for people who wanted to grow. So the church became our second home. I ate many a lunch there and did many a home work there. I discovered my passion for all things God and my gifts of faith, teaching and helps. When our time was done there, www.effectualmag.com

Pastor’s Wife

it was pretty clear that I was going to end up in ministry.

I returned to this country to study, because I just needed to keep growing.

Now my issue became which man would be willing to marry me, with my heart so set on ministry? That was when I met a great guy, Arnold. We met in Pastoral school and we hit if off so fast I had to take time out to ensure I was in a God place.

Arnold always knew what he was getting.

I was a bundle of gifts and I needed to be able to use my gifts to the glory of God. The shock came when we were done with Pastoral school and God told me Arnold will pastor and I was to just be his wife! What?! With all these gifts, I was going to have to sit it out and watch Arnold pastor? It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I had to learn.

I had to learn to submit my own gifts and calling to my husband’s. It was a new kind of normal. I had to practically serve God with my gifts through my husband.

Initially it was very awkward to be sitting down, watching Arnold do stuff in zones where I was a possible ten and he was just a five. God instructed me not to criticize him but let him grow. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I bit my tongue just so to remain submissive to him.

I adjusted, as time went on. Here is the lesson and I hope it is useful to you: God told me that my time was going to come, but that I needed to learn that no matter my ministry gifts, Arnold was still the head and that was never going to change. He taught me about submitting to the authority of the man in the home and to be able to stay at zero so that when it was time He (God) will exalt me. www.effectualmag.com

…I realized that I may not be the only one who is gifted but has had to serve God through submitting my gifts to someone else. I always thought that when it was time, I was going to end up the head pastor…

By this experience I realized that I may not be the only one who is gifted but has had to serve God through submitting my gifts to someone else. I always thought that when it was time, I was going to end up the head pastor, but God had a different plan and even though I didn’t like it, I learnt quickly that it does not matter who is in front, as long as we are in our specified place, God will use us for His glory.

Today, seventeen years later, the ministry has grown so much that I am all over the place using my gifts to directly bless people and my husband has grown in his gifts that we complement each other so well. I learnt the virtue of humility and God has helped me grow in that place.

No matter your gift, remember that sometimes you may have to stay in the background and if you recognise that it is God’s place for you at that time, there is no telling how far you will go.

Be blessed and encouraged!

Love.

—Portia 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Special Needs Therapy

Life Through The Eyes of a Child With Special Needs (1)

By Mokwe-Ijiko Nneamaka

D

emilade is such a cute four year old. In class, he’s mostly in his own world, looking at things we can’t figure out, smiling and giggling with excitement over what we do not know and of course we cannot join in the fun because we do not know what is funny. He places his fingers in his ears to shut out the noise we can’t hear and screams at something we’ve done wrong; we know this because after several minutes of trying to calm him down, a replacement of something we might have placed wrongly would make him calm and he would walk away like nothing happened. It’s his world, but if only we could see it through his eyes, we would help him and he would help us learn too…

T

here are few disabilities in children garnering more attention than autism these days. The mysteries surrounding the cause of the mental disability are still being figured out by researchers and scientists. Many theories abound as to why nearly one in every 150 males is born on the autism spectrum.

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inability of many autistic children to accurately convey just what they are thinking and feeling.

This is partly because children with autism are visual thinkers and frankly don’t see things we see and see others we don’t. They do not perceive their environment through calculated preconceptions as we do.

People with regular working brains know that we will not see a statue www.effectualmag.com

Special Needs Therapy

or a tower floating through the sky. We know that if there is something above us it is most likely just a bird or a plane. An autistic child on the other hand would never take this for granted. They are able to pick up changes to an environment that others would not see simply because they don’t have www.effectualmag.com

a preconceived idea of what should already be there.

Autistic children have a difficult time in social situations. They may shy away from groups and stay secluded so that they can blend into the background better. For anyone who knows an autistic child, they would know such an activity is a shame. Autistic children tend to be very gifted, excelling in areas of math and science where preconceptions are not important. Instead, they struggle in areas like anticipating the emotions of others or feeling proper empathy for those who are crying or sad.

Medical experts are always working towards understanding the impairment.

The important thing for people with autism to remember is that they are different but equal to those around them. Take the time to understand these children and your mind will be blown away by all that they see.

We live in a world filled with so many stigmas, presumptions and wild accusations, with everyone blaming anyone for their situations/predicaments, so it will take strength and courage to try and understand the child with autism. It is only when you do that you would realize that no creation of God is worthless or hopeless.

Till the next edition, put on your spectacles and prepare to see through the eyes of that child with special needs and never forget you are also a Child with Special Needs and require the greatest Therapist of all (Holy Spirit) to heal and guide you through all your challenges. Think of this before you condemn that CHILD! Ciaos!

Editor’s note: Please read Unlocked, a book

by Karen Kingsbury for more insight into the challenges of Autistic Children.

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View Point

A Faith Lifestyle

By Folasade Femi-Lawal

‘I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.’ (John 12:25 NIV) He (Jesus) must increase and I must decrease. (John 3:30).

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his reminds me of the theme for WAN (Woman Act Now) which is ‘Walk Powerful As Zero’ The best level for every heavenminded person to operate is ground zero.

This might sound farfetched but it is the reality of the pilgrim’s journey. As illustrated in our anchor scripture, you are www.effectualmag.com

View Point

either ‘a nobody in the flesh’ (ground zero) and somebody in the Spirit (Spirit filled)’ or vice versa. The way of the cross is the former while the latter is the way of the world.

2011 was the year of the pursuit of God for me as an individual and seemed the worst year in a long while by the sheer impact of the challenges I faced as a homemaker, friend, corporate executive and an intercessor. It appeared like all hell broke loose while on this pursuit. This resulted in the unexpected loss of a job, a dear friend and clear vision for life goals.

In the midst of all such trials and tribulation, God’s presence is felt but not as loud as you would have expected because the noise around is probably louder that the witness in our hearts. The downside is to recoil to yourself and become a God seeker for what He can offer rather than for who He is because your need for survival is now a top priority.

The reality is that there is no better alternative for life than ‘zero living.’ I am a living testimony. For seven months without a regular paying job (yours truly was a top corporate executive with all the perks of such office) there is a whole lot you can achieve with God on your side.

In the course of my waiting to know the next step to take, I have registered two companies, a consulting firm and a laundry business.

I don’t have a bumper nest egg so sometimes the next fuel or grocery money might be unsure but our God remains absolutely faithful.

I am pretty much a work in progress as

I depend on God for my daily sustenance, which is a new school of life for me but I am convinced that at the end of this exercise, I will return to share with readers the complete piece of the jigsaw puzzle that my maker is taking me through. Then, I can boldly say, like the Psalmist ‘that thou allowed men to ride over our heads but thou didst bring us into a wealthy place.’

This is my little contribution to encourage readers that zero living is a

As an effectual woman, please maximize your God-given potential in full measure so the world can benefit from the fragrance of the Father in you.

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lifestyle of faith; a difficult one but exciting nevertheless. I come from the school of thought where you plan and allocate funds to meet expenses, whether budget or exigency. My current experience has confirmed the saying that ‘The Just shall live by faith.’

Another aspect of zero living is to ‘die empty.’ It is said that ‘the graveyard is the richest reservoir of ideas and knowledge.’

This is because men die with their ideas and potentials largely untapped. As an effectual woman, please maximize your God-given potential in full measure so the world can benefit from the fragrance of the Father in you.

Selah.

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Musings of a Busy Gal!

Give Yourself Away

By Liz Taylor

A

s I contemplate our current theme ‘Zero Living’ I am positive that it has absolutely nothing to do with muddling through life with barely enough to get by. With barely money enough to meet expenses, living hand to mouth, barely enough ‘umph’ for the rigors life brings our way, where life is a chorus of ‘never enough’ rather than more than enough.

William Mcdowell’s song “I give myself away” comes to mind. The chorus goes like this (sing with me):

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Chorus: I give myself away, I give myself away So You can use me, I give myself away I give myself away, So You can use me When I heard this song for the very first time I was totally blown away; I had to ask myself if I was singing this song because everyone in church was, or if the words expressed my deepest sentiments–to empty myself in my Father, for His will alone. Then it hit me! Could I do this? Give myself away; empty myself to Him, for Him, in Him? My hearts’

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Musings of a Busy Gal!

answer wasn’t pleasant; I just knew in my heart that at that point in time I had been living on my terms rather than my Lord’s (because when it comes to submission, He has to be Lord and not just Father or saviour).

Further soul searching revealed that I had devolved to coming to God on my terms rather than His by: Choosing which of His commandments to take to heart, and which to term antiquated Opting to forgive one person and not the other for perceived ills Tithing at my convenience Loving when it suited me – and even withholding love from people despite God’s command to owe no man anything but Love Dating that unbeliever (Yes! I said it! Been there, done that…never AGAIN) Living an emotion controlled life rather than a SPIRIT Controlled Life I don’t know about you, but when I say something to God (even during a worship service) I generally want to be sure I mean it. I had to pause at such powerful thoughts, as I realized that I had failed to ‘worship God in Spirit & Truth.’

The verdict was in -there was still too much of me left in me for me to be of any use to God; and not by accident but by a daily and willful choice to take the path and course my life had been on.

Without making excuses I know how my life got to such a pass. It was simple really:

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1. Forgetting to study God’s word, because of how busy you have gotten with life (procrastinating anyone?)

2. Not spending time with God through prayer and His word damages our core relationship with Him (this made me uncertain to approach Him in faith) 3. All of the above (and more) takes a toll on the measure of the Spirit of God I had access to that could have enabled me “live in full effect” (LIFE).

There’s no need to expound all these, is there sisters? We have experienced these at one point in life or the other.

Sometimes we delude ourselves that our walk is okay, but is it really?

Anyway, with this epiphany I made the decision to change my life! By life, I mean everything–everything changed; my friends, habits, perceptions and priorities – I also had to change my daily routine. I believe now that this decision to be totally poured out irrespective of convenience (I thought that God would understand how busy I am and cut me some slack), or how I felt (thinking that because you don’t feel like it, you don’t have to pray or study God’s word), or what I assumed about God’s word/will was the turning point in my life.

I’m still unbelievably busy; life is still a delicate balance of all priorities.

But with God as the foremost priority, I’m experiencing greater grace, increased favour and exceeding breakthrough. My joy is FULL–The Joy is the Lord is my strength. I’m now living fully in the Zero Zone – completely poured out and sold out to Jesus!

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Men-tality

The Next Level

By John Igbinovia

T

o be honest, many things about the current stage of the church anger me. However, I have learnt that emotions in themselves are not productive if they do not bring about positive action of some sort.

The world is full of hungry people seeking bread, seeking life, seeking mercy that can only be found in God. The challenge is that when people come in from a broken, sad and impoverished world, and finally make their way into the house of bread, what they meet is an empty cellar that only has a faint whiff of bread. It is only a matter of time before they begin to feel exploited and start to lose even the little they had in the first place.

The real issue is that many, really, do not know God. Often when you get into conversations about God, you clearly see that He is seen as just the means to an end. The testimonies that get the biggest applause are about how “God provided” a car, houses, a spouse, a job, a jaw-dropping contract...

Just say the necessary chants, read the necessary verses, do the right things, and God will be cranked the right way – like a shadoof – and out of His mouth will pour out all the 88

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Men-tality

amazing gifts that you desire. You grab them all as quick as you can, thank Him, give Him a praise pat on His back and walk away, leaving Him in some obscure corner – till you want more things.

However, what is truly horrible about this scenario is that this encourages a deepseated poverty that will not – indeed, that CANNOT – be sated with things.

It is this same poverty that is seen in political circles – a madness that makes a man grab all that he can, grab from those who do not have, grab enough for four generations – and then grab some more! Sadly, one looks at Christian circles and we see this same kind of poverty that is all about how much can be grabbed. The only difference, of course, is that this time, the grabbing is done “in the name of the Lord.” At the bottom of it all is still the same lust for things.

Painfully, that is why many come into the gathering of God’s people, searching for God and cannot find a sliver of Him in His people. Why? The people who should embody the fullness of Him hardly have or know Him. It is why you talk to many who are supposedly God-chasers and you realise they hardly know him, and because they do not know Him, all they can point people to are things. Somehow, no matter what you talk about, the conversation comes down to how great God is in giving things, how He shows His love by giving things, how He has elevated them by giving things and they cannot imagine that there is more to Him beyond giving things.

But there is a coming revival. No, it has already begun! People have talked about the need for a revival that will come and shake up the body of God’s people, a revival that will convert them into glistening generals www.effectualmag.com

The world is full of hungry people seeking bread, seeking life, seeking mercy that can only be found in God. that will shake the world. Somehow, revival has come to mean a denominational project, a crusade, a 3-day fasting or a 21-day seminar or a “powerful” praise jam – but what is happening right now goes beyond all of these. Scripture says “I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it”.

That is a fact. The revival is not organised by any denomination or Christian organisation. They are NOT needed. The revival is orchestrated, spear-headed and executed by GOD…and no other.

The challenge is that His version of a revival is the equivalent of “cold turkey” to a junkie. The state of being drug-free is equivalent to finding HIM in real relationship, and the poisonous drug that is to be burned out is none other than a dependence on things. You will be chucked into the kiln and over you will wash the refiner’s fire. You will go through tough times that you never envisaged, watch your physical foundations crumble, watch “security” disintegrate – but if you stay, you will come out like pure GOLD, white as wool, strong as steel, heart of a lion, face of a lamb – and in tune with God in REALITY. However, the challenge with living sacrifices is that they tend to crawl off the altar.

Prepare to meet your God… 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Go Explore

Amsterdam

I

had always wanted to visit the Netherlands. I thought Holland had only tulips and rural areas with dairy farms where ‘Peak milk’ probably originated from (lol). But that’s obviously wrong. From zoos such as Blijdorp, Gaia Park, Dolphinarium Safari park Beekse Bergen and the Apenheul, to fun-parks like Madurodam, Neeltje Jans, Duinrell and the world-famous Efteling, the Netherlands has numerous attractions to make a visit fun and unforgettable.

There are countless water sports facilities, historical squares, lively markets and, of course, the notorious Red Light District and coffee shops. But of all the places in Netherlands, Amsterdam is still one of my favorite destinations with so much to see and do.

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Amsterdam: Canals, red light district and coffee shops?

Amsterdam is an interesting melting pot that has all the advantages of a big city with its diverse culture and worldrenowned art museums. However, in some aspects such as traffic and ambience, it is more like a small city with small alleys and of course lovely canals. There is a little something for everyone, whether you like taking quiet strolls or bike rides or perusing fine art, Amsterdam has it covered.

What to see in Amsterdam: Take a boat trip on the Canals (grachten) Some 200 canal boats are currently available for tourists. By taking a trip through the canals you will see the famous historical houses, bridges and cafés. Buy a travel guide to get a lot of detail about the city www.effectualmag.com

Go Explore

or rent and enjoy the comfort of a private boat.

Join the Queensday party (Koninginnedag) If you are able to plan your visit to Amsterdam on 30th April, you should join the Queensday party. Queensday is a national holiday in the Netherlands and every year hundreds of thousands converge to celebrate. You can visit the large concerts on Museumplein and Leidseplein or buy stuff on the flea markets (vrijmarkt).

Rijksmuseum The Rijksmuseum is the National Art Museum of the Netherlands. It houses a huge collection of paintings by famous artists such as Rembrandt, Vermeer, Frans Hals and Jacob van Ruysdael. The most wellknown paintings are The Night Watch by Rembrandt and The Milkmaid by Vermeer.

Dam Square Because it is the main square in Amsterdam, Dam Square is frequently the scene of many city-wide events and festivities. It is a great place to do some people watching. If you don’t like crowds, this won’t be your favorite place and it may not be the prettiest site in Amsterdam, but it truly is the heart of the city and is worth a visit.

De Keukenhof : Flowers, flowers and more flowers www.effectualmag.com

Keukenhof is located in Lisse, a small town near Amsterdam. Most farmers in Lisse grow flower bulbs which are exported to countries such as Germany. During spring millions of flowers in all colours create fantastic flower shows. The park is visited by tourists from all over the world.

Why is Holland called The Netherlands and the inhabitants called Dutch?

In Dutch, the country is called ‘Nederland’ and a national is called a ‘Nederlander’ and the language is called ‘Nederlands.’

However when it changes to English it gets more complicated indeed.

The country is called the Netherlands officially. Holland is actually only the name for two of the twelve provinces in the country (North Holland and South Holland). However, it is frequently used abroad to refer to the country as a whole.

Speak to us for all your travel needs both local and international. Call +23418047279, +2348023525103, and 2347038327432 Facts culled from http://www.squidoo.com/top-10-things-to-do-inamsterdam www.holland.com 2012 Effectual Volume 7, Issue 2 

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Intel 4 Life

Lose confidence in your ‘self’

By Abiodun Fijabi

W

e all struggle hard to acquire poise. Confidence is important in order to make an impact. It is a door opener, a magnet, a game changer. The confident lady gets noticed, heard and oftentimes, gets what she wants. Loss of confidence is synonymous with loss of face and progress. Confidence is it! No one wants to get passed over or judged prematurely before she is heard or dismissed because she can’t hold her head high.

As we spend and are spent to massage our ego, prop up our image and discretely blow our trumpet, we may need to pause to think long and hard about the game we are playing. The question is not about

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the imperativeness but the definition of confidence. Is confidence an outward adorning? An attempt at ‘panel beating’ a faulty image? A show? A confidence built on a faulty image will ultimately collapse.

It is a matter of time.

Genuine confidence is an outward expression of a true inner self. If the tree is bad, Jesus said, the fruit would be bad.

A bad tree can’t produce a good fruit. At least, the kind of fruit that endures the winds and the storms of life. Jesus was forthright about the solution to the issue of faulty confidence: “Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.” Matthew12:33 (KJV) www.effectualmag.com

Intel 4 Life

In essence, Jesus was saying, “The road to genuine confidence is a solid inner life.” Paradoxically, to gain inner strength, we must lose confidence in self. Self here stands for any advantage we may think we have – money, education, societal standing, poise, whatever. I believe this is what Jesus meant when He said, “If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

Matthew 16:25 (CEV) That paradox has been too hot to handle mainly because we like to be in charge. To lose control of one’s life is to lose it all. However, Jesus is not advocating loss of control; He is not asking us to live our lives without purpose, or sense of responsibility. He is only saying the obvious – nothing we have or do can on their own give us happiness.

Paul had reasons to be proud. A Pharisee of Pharisees. A Roman citizen. A graduate of an Ivy League university – he studied under the celebrated Gamaliel.

If you were Paul, you would savour your good fortunes and speak glowingly and proudly about what you have, know, have done, or can do. After all, the world is at your feet. Here is Paul’s perception of these incredible credentials.

“The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash— along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung.

I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could www.effectualmag.com

“The road to genuine confidence is a solid inner life.” Paradoxically, to gain inner strength, we must lose confidence in self. Self here stands for any advantage we may think we have – money, education, societal standing, poise, whatever. embrace Christ and be embraced by him…”

Philippians 3:7-9 (Message) Dung? Did he say dung? How about dung for dinner? Did I hear you say, No thanks? It would take someone wiser than Paul to say yes. And the wise one must be prepared for the shock of her life; no human can succeed on her own credentials. But is there something wrong with credentials? Obviously not. It is the weight and priority we ascribe to them. In Paul’s thinking, the credentials must be dog dung because of Christ. On their own, they are insignificant; they only assume significance in Christ.

As if to clear all doubts about self, credentials, and all, Paul said emphatically: “For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the Spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.”

Philippians 3:3 (KJV) When it comes to the flesh, loss of confidence is not only advised, it is the only way to go!

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In The Mix

Stripped Of Props

By Irene Olumese

D

id i truly trust God to supply my needs when I prayed with one eye closed and the other eye gazing on the salary due at the end of the month? One eye to the hills and the other to the props around? But my dependency on God took a new dimension when I was stripped of the props and nothing in 94

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the pipeline could fill the huge vat of needs waiting to be filled at the end of each month. Then, I learnt to rely and lean solely on God as my Provider and my Sufficiency.

It happened slowly–being a contributing partner had become so important to me that I lost sight of trusting God to supply our needs. The financial independence gave me the leverage in decision making and an opportunity for a backup plan. Stripped of these, it was hammered home to me that my source of sustenance was not my salary but God. This was when I understood what it really meant that the just shall live by his faith.

In 2003, my husband and I decided that we were going to buy our house instead of renting. We had to pay twenty percent of the cost of the house as down payment for the mortgage. No asset we own was sufficient to provide this kind of funds. Our only option was a loan from a financial institution which we secured with our two jobs. We had eight years to pay the money back.

Three months after signing the contract for loan and the mortgage, I became www.effectualmag.com

In The Mix

very ill and had to go off work. Within six months, I was on special leave without pay to recuperate and eventually, I resigned.

The monthly repayment of the two loans had to be accommodated within one salary. In addition to the payment of mortgage, huge medical bills and the children’s school fees. There were times during that period when my heart raced as the end of the month approached – just thinking about the magnitude of what we needed to pay out. My imagination ran riot trying to conjure strategies and map out a way through which God might consider helping us. How nice it would have been to have a wealthy godfather to turn to or an

was given – Go and wash yourself seven times in the Jordan (2Kings 5:1 – 27). It was not enough; he wanted a spectacular miracle (Just like me). His pride was wounded. He resented being asked to wash in an inferior and muddy river like Jordan.

(I resented not being in control). His servants appealed to him to consider obeying the simple instruction. His obedience will require him to be stripped of the strapping of the commander of a great army. He was stripped of his pride and prejudice. He humbled himself and obeyed the word of God. As he acted in faith, his body was cleansed. Naaman was healed solely by God’s divine grace.

The requirement of a zero life is simple—it is simply trust and obey—that simplicity in itself magnifies the strength of absolute dependence on God. old and unknown great grand aunty who would bequeath a large sum of funds to us—it did not happen that way.

Nothing spectacular happened – not for three years. I learnt to trust only in God. The layers of self-reliance were peeled off one after the other until the vulnerable core was exposed.

I have to confess that I was overwhelmed at the mysterious ways God worked on our behalf to meet our needs.

He taught me to simply trust in Him and obey His instructions.

It reminded me of Naaman. He was introduced as a great man, highly regarded and valiant but he had leprosy. Soon it was obvious that Naaman was also proud and quick tempered. Only a simple instruction www.effectualmag.com

The path to appropriating the fullness of God’s blessing is in trustful obedience. At that point in my life when I was stripped of the affluence and spotlight, there I learnt to trust and obey God. I learnt to depend on the strength of His promises.

By the time the spectacular came three years later, in form of a consultancy provoked by a recommendation from the least expected person, I had learnt to keep my gaze solely on God as my Source.

The requirement of a zero life is simple—it is simply trust and obey—that simplicity in itself magnifies the strength of absolute dependence on God. Now I know what trust is, it is sweet to trust in Jesus and to take Him at His Word.

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Define See, Test and

Live Your Dream! …a coaching series on Dreams.

Do you know what you want to do with your life?

Are you absolutely confident that you are the best you can be right now?

Are you struggling to find expression for your dreams and aspirations?

Then you should be a part of our coaching series.

Email info@effectualmag.com to request more information.

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For Women & Those Wh o Love Them

effectual For The S pirit Con trolled W oman

Effectual Sales Outlets and Distributors

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God’s Leading Lady Oyindamola Olayinka Soderu Living With Purpose relationships Be The Best You Can Be Women of The Bible SALOME: Mother Of James And John

+ regulars Spring Victoria’s Secrets Parenting Me 2 U

voLume 5 Issue 3 , 2010 n500, €3.00, £3.00, $4.50

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9. LATERNA VENTURES LIMITED 13, Oko Awo Close, Victoria Island, Lagos 10. ALPHA CHRISTIAN CENTRE 19A Maitama Sule Street, Ikoyi Lagos 07029150812 11. ALTAR BIBLE CHURCH Peter Odili Road, Amadi-Ama, Port Harcourt 12. ELYON COLLEGE AND LEADERSHIP ACADEMY Lagos- Abeokuta Express way, Abeokuta, Ogun State. 08033185030 13. HIDDEN TREASURE BOOKSTORE 33, Ogui Road, Subway Bus stop by Citi Chef, Enugu State, 08033516899, 08079005413 14. FOUNTAIN OF LIFE CHURCH BOOKSHOP 12, Industrial Avenue by PZ Industries, Ilupeju, Lagos.

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8. EBI PORBENI Port Harcourt. 08089046622 9. MRS. OMOLARA AWOSANYA Alausa Ikeja, Lagos. 08023703218 10. CHIOMA F. EZEKWE Abuja. 08039686755 11. MRS. ISIOMA OKOLO Warri, Delta State. 08023216565 12. MRS. PRECIOUS ANAKA EJARO Abuja. 08033689148 13. MRS. ESTHER KRUKRUBO Port Harcourt. 08066461838 14. MRS. DOLAPO TAIWO FAJOLU Marina Lagos. 08035689667

16. Dele Bookshop Ikeja Airport Hotel, Lagos. 08056216271 17. Lace Bookshop 6, Coker Road, Ilupeju, Lagos. 08059906427 18. Ebeano Stores Shop E8, Ikota Shopping Complex, Ikota, Lagos. 07040308821 19. Samuf Educational Ltd 1, Umoren Lane, Uyo. 08023147954 20. Excel Scholars Ltd House 33, 51 Road, Festac Town, Lagos.

07033074822 21. Fonte Global Fonte House, 1 Temple Ejeukwu Close, Artillery Junction, Aba Road, Port-Harcourt. 08068482589

Distributors 15. Amarachi Aboaja Enugu. 08038501125 16. FORTUNE ARIKPO Calabar. 08036179005 17. OGHOGHO Okogun Warri, Delta State. 08023650099 18. Mrs Nwoko Amuwo Odofin, Lagos. 08033463927 19. Adjoa Boatemaa-Bonsu Ghana, +233-272609168 20. Shade Vaughan United Kingdom tgog4life@gmail.com

STORES SERVICED BY Magazine Circulation Nig Ltd Tel: 0803 333 8915 1. ABA ZONE Eddie Robb (stores), Abia Hotel.

2. ABUJA Mohammed Stand, Abuja Airport 3. AKURE Sunview Hotel 4. BENIN Zoro Supermarket, Airport Road 5. CALABAR Mrs. Edem Stand, Calabar Airport

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6. ENUGU Shoprite Enugu 7. JOS Modern Bookshop, Ryan Street 8. KADUNA Elvis JFK, Kaduna Airport 9. KANO Country Mall supermarket, Farm centre Kano.

10. JIGAWA Sahad store 11. MINNA Bomas supermarket 12. MAKURDI Titus West Supermarket 13. GOMBE Omega Bookshop 14. OGUN Just Rite, Sango Ota

15. ONDO TOWN Chris Ike Supermarket 16. PORT HARCOURT Mrs Sholalere, Arrival PHC Airport 17. UYO Sheer Grace, Uyo Town 18. UMUAHIA Crunches

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Ultimately

There is nothing to prove

I

always wanted to be able to say to myself that I gave it my all. I always wanted others to be able to say that they could see I had what it took and are impressed by what I had done. I wanted to be able to do excellently, and I wanted to be appreciated.

Then I got into the approval addiction mode. It didn’t matter how hard I tried if someone around me frowned, even if it had nothing to do with me or my work, I started to fret. Then I stumbled on something someone wrote somewhere, he simply said, “quit auditioning, you already got the part.” This spoke volumes to my need to be accepted, it spoke volumes to my thirst to always be the best around; it definitely opened my eyes that there is nothing that I could do that will make God love me any less.

I started to realise that I got the part, not because my acting was the best around, but because the part was created in the story with me in mind. I was the reason the character made it into the play at all. God always knew that I will play the part so He ensured that I got a dose of what I required to stand and be able to say my lines.

My flesh will like to get a standing ovation, but deep down I remember that I made it in the cast because the playwright and 98

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director choose me from the foundations of the earth and created the part to suit me.

The part was made for me, and not me for the part. He knew I lacked the skill, but He gave me the part anyway.

He just wants me to look to Him and take instructions from Him as I go along, and even if others refuse to give me a standing ovation, as long as I follow His instructions, it is all that is required of me.

No more, no less!

Ultimately, the only question I will have to answer is ‘did you stick to the script?’ and if I am able to answer yes, then I’ll pass, and heaven will give me a standing ovation.

That is why; I have no need to prove anything anymore. I will do my very best within my script and you should too! The race is not to the swift, neither is it to the strong. It is the Lord Himself that shows mercy, and it is in Him that we live, move and have our being.

Honestly I have no need to prove anything anymore… because ultimately, He wants me to stick to His script for me.

Ultimately… there is nothing to prove, really there is nothing to prove.

—Bidemi

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Zero Living It is impossible to please God without faith through His word for faith is calling things that are not As if they were waiting to come forth.

And while pride comes before a fall Humility attracts a call for earth is but dust but heaven is the reward of the just.

So let us live life like we are nothing although in Christ we have everything and if mere servants deserve wages.

Our Master our rewards He will increase. ~ Ademola Adenle ~

— Spend today with Him—

I

S ay t h i s P r ay e r

, (mention your full names) do take You, Jesus Christ, Son of the Most high God, King of kings and Lord of lords as my Lord, Saviour, Friend and Husband. I believe You died in my place to free me from the law of sin and death. You rose from the dead three days after that I might live forever with You in heaven. Thank You for accepting me as I am and I await that day when You shall come to take me to reign with You forever in heaven. Amen!