3 minute read
Press Watch by Our Staff
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Written by our Staff
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We know you don’t read the other campus publications, so we did it for you. Original pieces are in quotes, our responses are in bold.
“Unvaccinated Athletes Should be Banned From Sports” by Sean Raichbach, Pipe Dream, 1/31/22
“The best way for us to prevent cases like this from Omicron and other emerging variants is simple: denying the virus an opportunity to spread and replicate.”
While this may sound fine in theory, the spread of COVID nonetheless occurs despite masks and vaccines. One should be more focused on the severity, rather than the numbers, of COVID and its variants.
“The strongest possible response from the NFL and ATP at this time would be to bar Djokovic and Rodgers from competing in any tournament or game until either is fully vaccinated. I believe that this approach is reasonable, but it is also very unlikely to actually become policy.”
It won’t be implemented because it isn’t reasonable. Barring athletes from competition due to medical decisions is not only unethical, but uncompetitive insofar as it questions the legitimacy of the competition, especially considering a world class athlete with a high chance of winning.
“Following this approach somewhat similarly, I believe that the NFL should seek to make life for unvaccinated players as difficult as possible and come out with official statements condemning players like Rodgers who campaign against vaccination in interviews and on social media.”
And here we see the classic “mask drop” section where the author comes out in favor of blatantly immoral tactics to coerce athletes into obedience. Please do everyone a favor: get off of Twitter and get some fresh air
“Legislators Mask Transphobia With Weaponized Language” by Eleanor Gully, Pipe Dream, 2/28/22 “I’m very passionate about ideas I believe in and the policies and positions that I believe are good and moral”
You know, people who are good usually don’t need to notify the audience that they are in fact good.
“This co-opting and weaponization of the language of oppression is how bad actors take their hate and sell it to the public.”
Ah, buzzwords. I can use them too. Once the viral systematic bad faith fighters use their NFTs to brainwash the 1984 calendar we can finally be free from the dogmatic upperclass dogwhistle.
“So, what is my point? When you finally strip away all the window dressing, you realize that people like Greene, Abbot and Robinson are all in the same boat. They weaponize the language of child abuse, gendered violence and mental health to justify full-fledged hate crimes and mass arrests. For anyone with a moral compass, it should be both bone-chilling and blood-boiling.”
I doubt that Greene, Abbot, or any conservitive politician would condone hate crimes, mass arrests, or any sort of violence against the people or groups mentioned in this article.
“Mixing Pepsi and Milk is worth a try” by Jacob Wisnock, Pipe Dream, 2/17/22
“Pilk is when you mix Pepsi with milk.”
Mepsi drinkers are SEETHING. How could you write this.
“To fully enjoy pilk, one must abandon their narrow-mindedness — but if you do, you will be rewarded with a truly irreplaceable sensation.”
Personally, I love my narrow-mindedness that prevents me from eating things like banana peels, metal cans, and brussel sprouts. And I’ll have you know I experience truly irreplaceable sensations all the time. And that sensation is your mom.
“To reconcile these differences, I developed my own variation: a 1-to-1 milkto-Sprite ratio, which will henceforth be referred to as “sprilk.” I also revisited pilk, tackling the drink with the same 1-to-1 ratio.”
L + Sprite + ratio + you fell off
“Everything’s worth trying once.”
