A THEOLOGICAL JOURNAL
SEPTEMBER 2014
How Churches Can Survive Near-Death Experiences Eight Reasons Most Churches Remain Below 200 Members There’s One in Almost Every Church Two Lesbians Walk Into A Church- Was Jesus Shocked Seven Ways Couples Make Marriages Soar Why “PKs Walk Away From Church” Give Somebody Else a Chance How We got the New Testamant Why It’s Good to Run Church Like a Business
Seven Warnings to Church Leaders on Social Media “From Shame to Change”
Content table of
September 2014
04
How Churches Can Survive near-Death experiences
05
From the Desk of the Publisher
06
eight Reasons Most Churches Remain Below 200 Members
08
there’s one in Almost every Church
10
Why It’s Good to Run Church Like a Business
11
How We got the new testamant
12
Give Somebody else a Chance
14
two Lesbians Walk Into A Church- Was Jesus Shocked
16
Seven Ways Couples Make Marriages Soar
18
Why “PKs Walk Away From Church”
20
Seven Warnings to Church Leaders on Social Media
22
“From Shame to Change”
September 2014 | 3
How Churches Can Survive
Near-Death experieNces
M
y latest book is about churches
near death. The members were on the
that died. In Autopsy of a
precipice of deciding to close the doors.
Deceased Church, I wrote about issues that led to the
demise of several congregations. Recently, however, I wrote a blog post
about churches that have dreamed again. These congregations experienced dramatic reversals from decline to vibrant health.
by Thom Rainer
In that post, I asked leaders of churches to share with me stories about churches that have dreamed again. I was amazed and overwhelmed at the responses.
opposite direction. They became vibrant congregations of hope and growth. Looking for patterns. I isolated those stories of “near death� churches to see if I could discover common patterns. Although no two churches were identical, they did take similar paths. Keep in mind that these are not just churches that moved from slight decline or steady
From near death to health.
decline to growth. These are the churches that
As I read about these churches, and
were just a few months away from closing
even watched some videos about their
their doors. Today, they are alive and well.
stories, I was reminded again of how God often does a great work of revitalization.
4 | September 2014
Instead of closing the doors, however, the churches went in the
What are the common paths they followed? I found at least five.
Among the most amazing stories
1. All of these churches had sudden negative
were those of churches that were truly
events that exacerbated their declines.
That event was often connected with a pastor. In some of the churches, the pastor had a moral failure. In other churches, the pastor left suddenly and unexpectedly, often at a critical time in the life of the church. 2. Each of the “near death” churches had a significant exodus of members who resisted change. At the time of their departures, the exodus was seen as a very negative occurrence. In hindsight, it became viewed as a blessing. 3. A remnant of the membership began
From the Desk of the publisher Bishop Andy C. Lewter, D. Min.
T
he month of September is here and with it comes the return of our young people to the classrooms of America to resume their education in schools across the country. As a
parent we send our children out of our doors with the hope and the prayer that they will come home at the end of the day the same way that they left hours earlier. Sanford, Florida and now Ferguson, Missouri makes it painfully clear the peril that surrounds our young people today.
gathering together for fervent prayer.
Our confidence regarding their safety can no longer be taken
One church member noted, “We were so
for granted. On this past Sunday, as made ready to close my
desperate that all we had left was prayer.”
worship service with the benediction, I paused and called all
That prayer gathering became the beginning
of our young people to the altar. I asked our adults to not only
of a new dream in the congregation.
make room for them but to surround them and lay hands on
4. The membership remnant made a
the young person who was closest to them. I refused to close
commitment to God to sacrifice whatever
the service without specifically asking God to watch over
He asked and to do whatever He asked.
our young people as they launch another year in school.
The members thus let go of the
As a youngster almost 60 years ago, the image of Emmett
idols of their perception of “how
Till was seared into my mind and forever changed my outlook
we do church” and became open to
on life. It was that image of Emmett Till that first gave me a
new directions and new ideas.
consciousness that everybody was not the same in this country.
5. The church became outwardly obsessed
It was that image that drove me to be active in the civil rights
to reach and minister to their community.
movement in the late 60’s and early 70’s. It was that image that
One member said it well: “We became
sensitized me to the anti-war movement in the mid 70’s. It was
determined in the power of God to
that image that inspired me to follow the leading of God to enter
discover what it would take to be
ministry as a way to protest the social landscape of the country.
Christ in the community. We had
For me, the image was that of Emmett Till, for this
never asked that question before.”
generation the image is that of Trayvon Martin and Michael
Not the typical path.
Brown. The death of Martin and Brown will be looked back
Remember that these churches represented
on by the “millennials” of this decade as the turning point
a subset of churches that dreamed again.
of their lives. They will look back on the summer of 2014
These congregations were among those that
and will point to it as the summer that they lost their social
almost died. Their future longevity could be
innocence and became aware of how systemic the country
measured in months rather than years.
continues to be in their treatment of young men of color.
Most of the “dream again” churches did
In the 1980’s it was Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu who wrote a
not get that close to the death. They began
series of books and articles entitled “The Conspiracy to
to experience renewal long before their
Destroy Black Boys”. Dr. Kunjufu argue that Black boys are
demise became a foregone conclusion.
targeted as early as the fourth grade. The deaths of Martin
Most churches that die experience gradual erosion. The congregation thus rarely sees the need to change. And so the
and Brown are all too familiar a reminder that live is as dangerous today for men of color as it was 50 years ago. 1964, 1965 and 1966 were called “The Long Hot Summers”
congregation slowly moves toward death.
and saw riots in Watts, Newark and Detroit. Here we are
The irony of the “near death” churches
fifty years later and the cities, just mentioned, have been
is that the sudden negative event actually
replaced with Sanford and Ferguson. Yes, we have made
was used by God to give the congregation
extraordinary strides of progress over the ast 50 years,
a sorely needed wake-up call.
and yes, we do have a man in the White House that looks
Sometimes we all need a wake-up call. Churches too.
like us, but the events of this last year seems to prove that the more things change, the more things stay the same.
September 2014 | 5
eight reasoNs Most Churches Remain Below 200 Members
W
hile social media, and
wrong with being a small church. I just know
are still preoccupied with
that almost every small church leader I
megachurches and multisite
speak to wants his or her church to grow.
churches, the reality is that most churches in North America are quite small. The Barna group pegs the average Protestant church size in America at 89 adults. Sixty percent of protestant churches
By Carey Nieuwhof
6 | September 2014
Please understand, there’s nothing
even traditional media,
have less than 100 adults in attendance. Only 2 percent have over 1,000 adults attending.
I get that. That’s the mission of the church. Every single day, I want our church to become more effective in reaching one more person with the hope that’s in Christ. So, why is it that most churches never break the 200 attendance mark? It’s not:
Desire. Most leaders I know want their church to reach more people.
answer, by the way, is to teach people to care for each other in groups.
A lack of prayer. Many small church leaders are incredibly faithful in prayer. Love. Some of the people in
2. The leaders lack a strategy. Many churches today are clear on
smaller churches love people as
mission and vision. What most lack is a
authentically as anyone I know.
widely shared and agreed upon strategy.
Facility. Growth can start in the most unlikely places. Let’s just assume you have a solid mission, theology and heart to reach people. You know why most churches still don’t push past the 200 mark in attendance?
Your vision and mission answers the
6. Too many meetings. I led a church with a grand total of 50 people in attendance. We had 16 elders.
why and what of your organization. Your
Overall, the church was in evening
strategy answers how. And how is critical.
meetings two to three times a week.
Spend time working through your strategy. Be clear on how you will accomplish your mission and don’t rest
Why on earth would a church that small need to meet that often? I eventually repurposed most of those
You ready?
until the mission, vision and strategy reside
meetings to become meetings about vision
They organize, behave, lead and
in every single volunteer and leader.
and reorganization. We also cut the number of elders down. Now, although we have a much
manage like a small organization. Think about it. There’s a world of difference between
3. True leaders aren’t leading. In every church, there are people who
bigger church, I’m only out one or two nights a week (and then, mostly for small group). If you’re going to meet, meet on purpose for
how you organize a corner store and how
hold the position of leadership and then
you organize a larger supermarket.
there are people who are truly leaders (who
the future. Free up your time so you and your
may not hold any position in your church).
team can accomplish something significant.
In a corner store, Mom and Pop run everything. Want to talk to the CEO? She’s
Release people who hold titles but aren’t 7. Too many events and programs
stocking shelves. Want to see the director
advancing the mission, and hand the job over
of marketing? He’s at the cash register.
to real leaders. Look for people who have
Mom and Pop do everything, and
a track record of handling responsibility in
they organize their business to stay
other areas of life and give them the job of
Just because you’re busy doesn’t
small. Which is fine if you’re Mom
leading the church into the future with you.
mean you’re being effective.
and Pop and don’t want to grow. But you can’t run a supermarket that
If you actually have leaders leading, it will make a huge difference.
and people who only stock shelves.
Activity does not equal accomplishment.
If you check into most small churches (remember, I was there … I’m not judging, just being honest), there are a lot of programs that
way. You organize differently. You govern differently. There’s a produce manager
that lead nowhere.
4. Volunteers are unempowered. Sure, small churches may not have the
accomplish little and lead nowhere. Stop them. Yes, people will be mad. Even have
There’s a floor manager, shift manager,
budget to hire other staff, but you have people.
the courage to cut some good programs.
general manager and so much more.
Once you have identified true leaders, and once
Good is the enemy of great. Then go
So what’s the translation to church world?
you’re clear on your mission, vision and strategy,
out and do a few great things.
Here are eight reasons churches who
you need to release people to accomplish them.
want to grow end up staying small:
Try to do it all yourself and you will burn out, leave or simply be ineffective.
1. The pastor is the primary caregiver. Honestly, if you just push past this one issue, you will have made a ton of
Empower volunteers around
funeral, and make regular house calls, he
to please everybody. Many pastors I know are people-pleasers
an aligned strategy and you will
by nature. Go see a counselor. Get on your
likely begin to see progress.
knees. Do whatever you need to do to get over the fear of disappointing people.
progress. When the pastor has to visit every sick person, do every wedding and
8. The pastor suffers from a desire
5. The governance team micromanages. If you need permission every time you
Courageous leadership is like courageous parenting. Don’t do what your kids want you to
or she becomes incapable of doing other
need to buy paper towels or repaint an
do; do what you believe is best for them in the
things. That model just doesn’t scale.
office, you have a governance issue.
end. Eventually, many of them will thank you.
If you’re good at it, you’ll grow the church to
Most boards who micromanage do so
And the rest? Honestly, they’ll
200 people and then disappoint people when
because that’s where most people simply
probably go to another church that
you can’t get to every event any more. Or you’ll
default. You need a board that guards the
isn’t reaching many people either.
just burn out. It creates false expectations
mission and vision and empowers the team to
and so many people get hurt in the process.
accomplish it and then gets out of the way.
Although it’s 20 years old, this is still the best book I know on the subject. The
This post on governance from Jeff Brodie is gold.
I realize the diagnosis can sound a little harsh, but we have a pretty deep problem on our hands. And radical problems demand radical solutions.
September 2014 | 7
there’s oNe in Almost Every Church
Y
oung pastors enter the ministry
do not need a physician (Matthew 9:12).
expecting the people of the
If they were all healthy, sane, balanced,
Lord to be healthy, sane,
etc., etc., they would not need a pastor.
balanced, spiritual, biblically
informed and Holy Spirit guided. And then they run into reality. The image of “running into a buzz-saw” comes to mind.
By Joe McKeever
Some of them do not survive the experience, bless their hearts. But we remind them—when we have the opportunity— that our Lord said those who are whole
8 | September 2014
You are there for those who are the unhealthy, unbalanced, spiritually immature and so forth. Sometimes, it’s a leader in the church who blindsides you. Here’s my story (see my two notes at the end) … First, the background. Soon after I came to that church, I set out to visit all the deacons.
If I was going to be able to pastor this
took bankruptcy last year, lives off his wife’s
troubled congregation (they’d been through
earnings, says was called to ministry a few
a terrible split 18 months before I came; half
years back and got a masters of divinity from
the members remained to deal with several
seminary. Had a short, failing stint as pastor
million dollars of debt), I’d need their help.
of (name of church) and has approached me twice wanting a position on our staff. He has
director, and that we have a good prospect in
Doris, he showed me his certificates and
conducted a full campaign behind the scenes
mind, but I do not know if he has accepted yet.
diplomas on the wall. This man was thoroughly
with church members for the associate pastor
trained in the Lord’s work, if the framed papers
position when (present assistant) retires.
One evening in the home of Tommy and
were any indication. At one point he said, “But
His brother Bobby told me that Tommy only
We prayed together and he left. SUNDAY, JULY 5. Got word tonight that Tommy is phoning selected church
pastor, they won’t let me serve in our church.
wants honor and position, but not work. When
members inviting to a meeting Thursday
I want so much to be used of the Lord. I have
I inquired with our leaders last year, they were
night at (a deacon’s) home. The chairman
these skills and training and the call of God.”
quick and unanimous in saying Tommy offends
of deacons heard of it and asked (another
people and runs them off. So now, he had made
deacon who is also a lawyer) to find Tommy
an appointment to see me for the position.
and stop this in its tracks. Said for me
My eagerness to bless and help and affirm overrode my good sense at this point.
not to worry, that they will handle.
I said something like, “Well, we’ll
The visit was quiet, humble and candid.
see about this. We can always use a
I told him I could not find any of our leaders
good man with your skills and abilities.
who favored putting him to work, and
He’s found out that Tommy was calling
We will definitely put you to work.”
that these were people who knew him.
people together only to pray for him, that
The next morning, I related this to our
When he persisted, I said, “I’ve heard from
MONDAY, JULY 6. Chairman called.
the Lord would open up a ministry. Later,
assistant pastor, a godly friend who had
several that you run people off. Now, Tommy,
Tommy called me and said the same. “But
served our church for many years. He
when I’m running references on a prospective
because so many think I’m trying to stir up
said, “Oh, pastor, I need to tell you about
staff member and they tell me he runs
a movement against you, I’ve called them
Tommy. He kills everything he touches.”
people off, that’s the end of the conversation.
all and canceled the meeting.” He told the
I don’t need to know anything else.”
deacons to remove him from the board.
At one point they put him over the church’s bus ministry, and he killed it. They put him in charge of the senior adult ministry, but he began ordering people around like he was the
(But he wasn’t through. The sheer gall of this man was amazing.) He suggested that we pray about it. I said,
CEO and ran them off. Finally, they realized the
“I have prayed about it over the last year.”
truth about Brother Tommy: He did not want to
He: “And so have I. And God told me
serve people; he wanted to lord it over them.
that I’m the one for this position.”
He ended by pointing out that our personalities conflict. I haven’t seen a conflict of personalities. The man is strange, that’s all. But not unlikeable. The rest of the story … Tommy and his wife soon joined another
He did not want to be a minister; he wanted
I said, “Tommy, several times over the
to be “somebody” with an office and a title.
years I have had people send me their resume
church. The next time I saw the pastor of
saying, ‘The Lord is leading me to join your
that church, I called him off to the side to
in any position in the church. Tommy had not
staff.’ I always respond, ‘As soon as He tells
warn him. He smiled, “Joe, they used to
told me that they had tried him in various
me, we can talk about it. But not until then.’
belong to my church. We know them well.”
That’s why they could no longer use him
ministries and that he had bombed out.
Tommy: “But I said God is leading one way and you say the opposite. What do we do then?”
Question: Have you ever told someone they cannot serve in the church because they kill everything they touch? Imagine
Me: “Well, that’s true, but I’m the one who has to make the decision. And I say ‘no.’” Tommy: “Well, I’m going to talk to
my trying to convey this to Tommy
other church members and get their
without destroying the man.
counsel and get them to praying.”
That was long ago and I have no memory of the details of my attempts to let him down
Me: “Tommy, I’m your pastor and I’m asking you not to do that.”
After a year or two, they moved to another state. That’s the last I heard of them. I hope things worked out for them. Pastors, you’re going to have these in your church. Do not be blindsided. Church leaders, you should stand with your pastor when he resists the difficult one who demands a position in the church. That person can rally supporters and family
Tommy: “Why?”
members and make life difficult for the
Now, the next stage of this story.
Me: “Because it’s over. I’m sorry. You’ve
minister unless the mature leaders support
My journal for that year records a
applied for the job and I’ve talked to people
the pastor. Often, this unbalanced person is a
subsequent confrontation with Tommy,
who know you and none of them support you
longtime friend of yours. You will be forced to
one I had completely forgotten. (I think
in this. So, I’m turning you down. I’m sorry. I
decide whether the welfare of the church—
you’ll see why; it was unpleasant.)
love you. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything.”
and the effectiveness of its ministries—
easily. But evidently, I was not direct enough.
Friday, July 3. Had 1:30 appointment
He wanted to teach the huge auditorium
with (Tommy). Nearing 60, he is a ‘ne’er-do-
Bible class. I said this will be filled through the
well,’ a deacon, a Sunday School teacher,
minister of education and the Sunday school
are worth your risking that friendship. Only people of courage should be called leaders of the church. God bless you.
September 2014 | 9
Why It’s Good to Run
e k i L h c chur s s e N i s u aB T
by Justin Lathrop
he line between business and church is messy. It’s a line everyone must walk, and nobody’s sure how to do it well. Is this a church or a
business? Or could it be both? Most (if not all) churches run as nonprofits,
which makes everything twice as difficult. The majority of their costs are funded through congregational donations, which makes them feel as nonbusiness-like as you can get. It’s a relational business. You’re not fighting for dollars; you’re fighting for hearts. And yet, at the same time, you can’t run a church without money. Are you feeling the tension here? Do you see where I’m going? We often think that business and church are opposites. It’s about money (business), or it’s about people (church). But can it be about both? In my opinion, churches should be run more like businesses. And before you write me off completely and tell me about Jesus turning over tables, hear me out. I think implementing best business practices in our churches today can help us serve the greatest number of people in the most helpful ways.
10 | September 2014
First, people want responsible leaders. Churches have financial responsibilities. It’s a fact. You either rent or own the building where you meet. You employ a staff, whose salaries you have to pay. You have lights you must keep on and programs you must fund and people to pay to care for your kids. Even churches with a bare-bones budget have things to pay for. This is when it becomes crucial that there’s a business side to your church. People don’t want a church that talks about money constantly. But they do want to know that when they give their money to the church, that money is in good, responsible hands—and that the church will still be around next Sunday, next month and next year. Money may not be your primary responsibility as a church, but it’s certainly important. While God does provide for our every need, he also honors those who are faithful with what they’ve been given. Running your church like a business—thinking about opportunity cost, revenue and growth—is one way to stay true to these fiscal responsibilities. Second, your ministries will be more sustainable. As churches, we have big hearts for the needs of people everywhere. We’re experts at beginning ministries—with sky-high dreams about how we’re going to change the world. But while our hearts are in the right place, our plans might not be strong enough to sustain our grand visions.
how we got the New Testamant
This is where business expertise and training can come in handy. You need a plan in place to make your ministries sustainable. You can have idealistic dreams of “changing the world,” but if at some point our expenses outweigh our profits, the lifespan of our ministries (and therefore our impact) is going to be a short one—even with the greatest of intentions. Third, you’ll take care of your people. Our churches are run by people, and it’s crucial we take care of them. I’m not sure where the unspoken “because it’s ministry I shouldn’t get paid very much” rule came from, but for
Dr. Timothy Paul Jones and Bishop Andy C. Lewter, D. Min.
whatever reason, many churches are abiding by it. If morale is low on your team, if people are undermotivated, if there seems to be jealousy and division, perhaps it’s because people feel they’re not being fairly compensated for their efforts. The better we function as a business, the more we can care for the people on our payroll, offering them benefits and a fitting salary in exchange for their love and hard work. When we neglect the business side of our staff, we’re not helping
Being a lover of Church History, I am particularly struck by a relatively new video that is currently available on youtube. We strongly encourage you to watch this informative and yet entertaining video that can be seen at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SZPbADxXSs#t=38. This video is a little more than two minutes in length and is fast moving. Despite its rapidity, it contains vital information that every
anyone. We’re hurting people and their families who depend on them.
Christian would benefit from having. Check it out and let us know what
And as a result, we neglect those we’re trying most desperately to serve.
you think.
Take good care of your staff so they can take good care of others. Sure, the business world can be heartless, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it can be really smart. When you make more money than you spend, understand budgets, embrace what it takes to hire a high-functioning staff, understand sustainability and maximizing resources—your church can thrive. Treating our churches more like a business doesn’t have to be a Godless endeavor. In fact, creating a healthy, sustainable, well-managed church organization might just be the best way to serve our congregation well.
September 2014 | 11
give someBoDy
eLse a chaNce
I
n this wonderful nation of ours there are over 300,000,000 people who live here. There are 50 states, over 3,100 counties, over 30,000 cities. There are four major traditional baptist
by Robert Earl Houston
12 | September 2014
So why is it that we only utilize a handful of preachers to speak at these events? No one will dare say it, but in the hallway of most of our conventions, the same faces
conventions, each claiming over 1,000,000
and names appear on the program year after
members. There are easily at least one state
year after year. Surely by now there should
baptist convention in each state, some have
be some new faces and voices emerging
as many as 4 or more. There are hundreds
from the diaspora of the African-American
of district associations, state conventions,
church experience. However, it’s the same
district congresses, state congresses, general
people preaching conventions all over
associations, national conventions, local/state/
the nation – basically utilizing the same
national fellowships, and on and on and on.
five sermons – and frankly, it’s tiring.
Our General Association of Baptists in
Because he was given a chance.
Kentucky had invited a minister to be our guest
I was the recipient of opportunities.
speaker this year and he fell ill and was unable
Outside of my home church, people like Dr.
to be here. Our State Moderator and his wife
O.B. Williams, Dr. J.A. Boles, Dr. S.M. Lockridge,
were on the way to Cancun, Mexico when he
Dr. Ray Williams, Dr. H.F. Dean, Dr. Willie T.
received the news – a little less than 3 weeks
Snead, Dr. Melvin Wade, Dr. R.C. Williams, Sr.,
away from the annual session. After consulting
Dr. Clyde E. Gaines, Dr. A.E. Reid, Dr. A. Russell
with a friend and praying over it, he selected
Awkard, Dr. Bernard Crayton, Dr. C.B. Akins,
Reverend Cory Ramont Morris. A minister that
Dr. Walter Parrish, III, and others GAVE ME
most of us in Kentucky had never heard before.
A CHANCE. They took a chance and gave me
However, by the end of the week, he became
opportunity to preach or serve in conventions
the talk of the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
– even when I was pastoring a storefront
Great theological mind. Young but seasoned.
church and pastoring for free because the
A rare ability to connect with the old, the
church was not in position to pay me; even
middle aged, and the young. Tremendous
when I was pastoring a church and I had to
delivery. Friendly and approachable. Not
make it to the conventions on my own dime;
haughty and not stuck up. And yes, a close
even when I was fighting for my pastoral life
that could easily be construed as one of
and the storms were raging at full blast; and
the best I’ve heard in recent memory.
even at the church of my dreams – I have
Outstanding scriptural approach and
been the recipient of an opportunity.
exegesis. Teaching while preaching.
I’ve preached for state conventions
And we LOVED it.
in Oregon/Washington/Idaho; Kentucky;
Maybe our problem is that we look to the
California; North Carolina. I’ve preached for
stars of the church rather than to the Hills
district associations in Oregon, California,
(from whence cometh our help) – and instead
Louisiana, Tennessee, and Kentucky. I’ve
of considering those who are solid in the
preached for city-wide revivals in Newark,
faith, upcoming, and striving pastors – we
NJ, Gary, IN, Albuquerque, NM and other
get the same old soup in a new bowl with
places. I’ve preached in Revival or for special
all gravy and no meat. My former pastor,
occasions literally around the nation.
Bishop Darryl S. Brister used to say “all you
Because I was given a chance. Maybe
need is one moment of exposure to change
before the next leader of a group invites
your life.” There are a plethora of ministers
Rev. Dr. So and So or Bishop So and So
who if just given the opportunity to be
or the Pastor who is pastoring the large
programmed, you may discover what all the
church over in the next state or many the
fuss is about in their local communities.
denominational leader who you know
Case in point. A West Virginia pentecostal pastor has been attending a Conference
really can’t preach, but has a big name. There are gifted young pastors, middle
in Tulsa, Oklahoma for years and gets the
aged pastors, even elderly pastors who
opportunity to meet the host. One year, one
have never been given the opportunity to
of the speakers can’t make it, and the host
preach because they didn’t graduate from
calls him and asks him, at the last minute to fill
a certain school or they didn’t have the
in. The minister preaches a dynamic sermon
opportunity to complete college or they
and most people had never heard of him. The
had a family to support and sat under the
C.L. Franklin, Jasper Williams, E. Edward Jones
conference is televised and the owner of the
feet of their pastor or college was not for
– and other young pastors who were given the
world’s largest Christian television network
them – and yet they minister faithfully,
opportunity to preach nationally at a young age.
sees his presentation, picks up the phone,
biblically and with integrity. They are in
calls him, and brings him to his network
every state – just waiting for a chance.
studios, and launches him into preaching
I’ve always prayed, Lord, if I ever get in the
When our session in Lexington closed after hearing a session that will live in the annals of history of this 149 year old institution.
history. The host was Bishop Carlton Pearson.
position to help someone else up, please help
The name of Corey Ramont Morris will stand
The event was Azusa. The network owner
me to do so. I wonder what would happen if
in the hearts of minds of the delegates that
was Paul Crouch. And that West Virginia
our conventions do today what they use to
trusted their Moderator to be obedient to
minister, who admitted that at one point he
do in yesterday and give an opportunity to
the Holy Spirit. We didn’t know him then.
was the pastor, musician, usher and janitor,
young preachers like E.V. Hill, Melvin Wade,
But we know and appreciate him now.
is named Thomas Dexter (T.D.) Jakes.
Stephen Thurston, A.L. Bowman, Sandy Ray,
Give somebody else a chance.
September 2014 | 13
Two Lesbians Walk Into A Church-
was Jesus shockeD
had just started hanging out when they
time, I actually started to believe it. The more
decided to attend one Sunday morning.
I believed God actually could see something
“I came on a mission to shock people,” Amy admits. “Rachel and I would hold hands
“L
By John Burke et’s just go for fun! We’ll see
of value in me, the more I trusted him.” Over time, Amy slowly opened her heart
in front of people, but instead of the disgusted
and struggles to Christ. “It took several years,
looks of contempt we expected, people met
but as I moved closer and closer to Christ, he
eyes with us and treated us like real people. So
gently took me on a very surprising journey.
we started coming to church weekly. We kept
First, I found out my father had nine affairs
moving closer to the front each week, trying to
while I was growing up—a secret that rocked
get a reaction so that we’d be rejected sooner
my world. Jesus began to show me how the
rather than later. When we couldn’t shock
roots of my sexual issues tie together with
people, we stopped trying and started learning.
my dad’s—I was just like him, using people to
“Not long after that, Rachel and I stopped
find comfort, life and love outside of God.”
how much we can push their
seeing each other, but I kept coming to church
buttons,” Amy teased her
because I was searching for something,”
the Scriptures, falling more and more in love with
girlfriend, who didn’t like the idea
Amy admits. “I definitely wasn’t looking to
the Lord. The following year, God had another
change. It wasn’t my lesbian lifestyle that
surprise for her: “I went to the seminar called ‘To
I was bringing to God, but I wondered if
Be Told,’ hosted at Gateway. I wanted to see how
is ‘Come as you are.’ I just want to prove that
God had answers to my deeper longings.
God could put closure to my brokenness, but
they’re ‘come as you are’ ... unless you’re gay.”
Problem was, I didn’t trust God at all!
what he showed me shocked me,” Amy recalls.
of hanging around a bunch of Christians. “Come on,” Amy insisted. “I hear their motto
Amy had been in a nine-year lesbian
“The more I listened and learned about the
Amy continued to grow in her knowledge of
“As Dan Allender was telling a story of a
relationship that had broken up, leaving
teachings of Jesus, the more I started to actually
bully, I suddenly had a flashback of getting
her wondering why her deepest longings
believe that God really did love me. I heard more
off the school bus. I lived down the street
could never be satisfied. She and Rachel
and more about being his Masterpiece, and in
from Jimmy, a boy who had bullied me all
14 | September 2014
year. But this particular day, Jimmy acted nice
community.) None of this kept Jesus away or
know who is touching him and what kind of
to me as I got off the bus,” Amy recalls.
kept him from offering her living water. Maybe
woman she is—that she is a sinner” (Luke 7:39).
“He apologized for being so mean, and he invited me to come to his house.”
Jesus wants Christ-followers who will be less like the Pharisees and more like him—unshockable.
In other words, if Jesus were truly a prophet, he would know about her scandalous sexual sin, and he would be shocked. But
That day in the seminar, all else faded to
Luke tells of a time Simon the Pharisee
black as this vivid nightmare crept back to life.
invited Jesus to dinner. Jesus and his disciples
Amy saw herself walking through Jimmy’s
went and “reclined at the table” (Luke 7:36)
front door, noticing all the shades pulled
along with Simon’s religious friends, who were
controversial situation. Imagine a known
down. Startled, she spied two teenage boys
skeptical about Jesus’ true identity—mainly
prostitute coming up to your pastor, kissing
eyeing her with a ravenous look as the door
because he showed more love for “sinners”
his feet and rubbing oil on them after the
slammed shut. Her screams never escaped
than love for the Law of Moses (Jesus had just
Sunday service. It would be his last Sunday
the evil darkness that enveloped that house.
made it clear this wasn’t true; he came to fulfill
at most churches if he didn’t put an end to
They pinned her down and raped her.
the intent of the Law of Moses). They invited
it fast! What was Jesus thinking? Why didn’t
Jesus there to judge him, not learn from him.
this shock Jesus like it would all of us?
She was only nine!
Jesus did know and was not shocked! Now you have to realize, this was a
Jesus looks at the heart. It’s about the heart.
Amy swam in a pool of tears as the
Middle Eastern dining style consisted of a
seminar continued. Others were oblivious
one-foot high table with pillows on the floor for
Jesus confronted the unloving hearts of his host
to her divine epiphany. She realized the Lord
seating, usually with feet stretched out to the
and friends while this woman demonstrated
had been drawing her near to strengthen
side or behind them. As the meal proceeded,
a heart overflowing with love. Jesus said,
her for this revelation—to show her the
an immoral woman crashed the party. She
“Simon, I have something to tell you” (v. 40).
source of so much sexual struggle hidden for
sheepishly made her way over to stand behind
years beneath layers of protective mud.
Jesus. Luke makes sure we know she had
moneylender. One owed him five hundred
“Two people owed money to a certain
“lived a sinful life” (v. 37). She did not just have
denarii [a whole lot of money], and the other fifty
about me than I know about myself,” Amy
a few slipups, but rather had made a life out
[one tenth as much]. Neither of them had the
recalls, “and he wants to bring healing to
of her sexual deviancies, and everyone knew
money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts
these wounds, so I fully gave him my heart
it! Her mud was public knowledge. Her whole
of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
and body—everything. As I continued to seek
life, she had felt judged and condemned by the
intimacy with him, the lesbian struggles fell
religious establishment, so to go into the house
away. I’m not saying that’s how God works with
of her tormentors took enormous courage.
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. (The
Yet there she stood... because Jesus was
only thing Simon had judged correctly that day!)
“After that, I realized God knows more
everyone, but it’s how he’s healing me. The more
Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
Then he turned toward the woman and
I focus on God’s intimate love for me and try
there! Somehow word on the street had travelled
to see his Masterpiece emerge, the less I want
to her through the crowd she hung out with—
said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I
anything to get in the way of his work in me.”
there’s hope in Jesus for the muddiest human.
came into your house. You did not give me
Seven years later, Amy leads our
Hearing he had come near, an unstoppable
any water for my feet, but she wet my feet
ministry to help people find healing and
force welling up from within had drawn her
with her tears and wiped them with her hair.
wholeness from all kinds of sexual and
to his feet. As she stood in his presence, hope
You did not give me a kiss, but this woman,
relational struggles. She’s helping others
burst through the dam of all that pain that
from the time I entered, has not stopped
become God’s restored Masterpiece.
had driven her mudslinging behaviour—she
kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my
Jesus Is Never Shocked
started to cry. Her tears accidentally landed
head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.
Do you realize that Jesus is not shocked
on Jesus’ dirty feet (that his host had not
Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been
shown the common courtesy to wash).
forgiven—as her great love has shown. But
by the shocking things people do? Jesus knew Zacchaeus had robbed people blind
The tension in the room mounted; everyone’s
whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:41–47
and profited off much unethical behavior, yet
shoulders tightened as she fell to her knees
Jesus was not shocked. He did not offer Zach
behind Jesus, bent down and wiped his wet,
correction, but relationship. “Come down,
dirty feet with her hair. She took out a bottle of
critical point Jesus makes to us all—if you truly
Zacchaeus. I’m staying at your house tonight”
oil mixed with perfume, took the oil in her hands
recognize how much it cost God to forgive
(see Luke 19:5). That shocked everyone!
and gently stroked his feet with the oil—kissing
you, it will flood your heart with love for God
Yet relationship changed Zacchaeus.
them as she anointed him with the perfume.
and others who need more of the same.
Jesus knew that the Samaritan woman at
Jesus just sat there, never flinching, eyes
It’s all about love! Don’t miss this very
It’s all about love! Not a love that
the well had been married and divorced five
fixed on the Pharisees, watching them react
ignores the mud and the damage that
times. He knew about her current “hookup”
in shock and disbelief—flames of contempt
destroys God’s Masterpiece, but a love that
and how sexually entangled she was with the
shooting out of their merciless eyes.
recognizes how much loving mercy God
guy she was living with (John 4). Jesus was not
Simon could stand it no more. This
has given a messed up person like me! That great love brings grace and truth
repulsed. (Samaritans of Jesus’ day were treated
outrageous scene had proven his point. He
by the religious community like gay people
muttered to himself and his “more respectable”
together to give hope to a broken world in
often get treated by some of today’s Christian
guests, “If this man were a prophet, he would
need of forgiveness and restoration.
September 2014 | 15
seveN ways
Couples Make Marriages Soar
M
arriage is hard work. Great
think that’s because the women are usually
marriages are even harder.
the more relationally aware than us men. And
I don’t know if I’d claim to have
a great marriage. My wife reads
16 | September 2014
expectations for all a marriage could be.
my blog—some days. (She’s the one that finds
So, while I actually think we have a great
most of my typos.) And my wife is the relational
marriage, I’m going with good for the purpose
queen—the best I’ve ever seen—so her
of this post.
expectations for relationships are high.
By Ron Edmondson
frankly, because of that, they often have higher
But I’m pretty sure she’d say we have a good
For years, working with couples, I would
marriage. (Please say that, sweetheart.) And
ask them how strong their marriage was on a
I’m certain she’d agree we work at being great
scale of 1 to 10. I just wanted to see where they
together—most of the time. (There have been
felt they were and how far apart they were
weeks, especially earlier in our marriage, when
from each other. Almost without exception, the
we seemed to work against each other—but
wife had a lower number than the husband. I
those days are rare now. Thankfully.)
Certainly both of us have seen things that don’t work—for our marriage and with the hundreds of other marriages we’ve encountered in ministry. And we’ve also witnessed some great marriages. We’ve made a goal to surround ourselves with people who have marriages that can strengthen our own. One of our best pieces of premarital advice we give is to encourage people to find mentoring couples. It’s worked for us too. So, what are some things that make great marriages soar? What keeps them going? What have we observed? What have we experienced? Here are a few thoughts. How great couples make their marriage soar: Let differences work for them. All couples are made with two different people. No two people in the world are just alike. And after working with hundreds of couples, I’m convinced opposites often do attract. But great couples learn to build upon those differences. They build upon each other’s strengths and let each other minimize their weaknesses. “Two are better than one”— the author of Ecclesiastes says—and great couples live this truth. Extend grace for the minor annoyances. Can we just be honest? People do stuff that gets on our nerves at times. That’s true of all of us, even with the people—maybe even especially with the people—we love the most. Great couples have learned not to let those little things distract from the major things—like love and commitment. Serve each other. There are no 50-50 splits of responsibility in a great marriage. Great couples learn to sacrificially serve one another. In the best relationships, it would be difficult to judge who serves one another more. There may be times one gives 100 percent, because the
each other. Both partners open themselves up
making the marriage great—for any of these
other can’t give anything. And there are other
to the other person completely.
to work. There are some people who would
times the other spouse gives 100 percent. And
Publicly support each other. Great couples
give anything to make a great marriage, but
neither complains when it’s their turn to give all.
are supportive of each other in public. They
they are the only part of the couple trying. I
Prioritize their time. Great couples spend
don’t tear each other down in public. They
get that. A one-sided commitment won’t work
handle private issues in private.
when attempting to bond two people into one
time together. Life is busy for all of us. These couples schedule time together. They find
Keep no record of wrongs. Great couples
things to do that each of them enjoy. And they
learn to forgive. There aren’t any lingering
say no to other things that would keep them
issues that haven’t been resolved.
from having adequate time together. Keep no secrets. There are no hidden issues among great couples. They are vulnerable with
I feel the need to emphasize that I’m writing these with the understanding that it takes two people—both committed to
great couple. But when two people are willing to work hard, a great marriage is within reach. For all of us. We are working toward the great marriage. Who is with us?
September 2014 | 17
why “pks waLk
away From church” By Dale Hudson
K
aty Perry is currently the highest profile PK that has gone awry. In a recent interview, she said she is no longer a Christian and doesn't believe in
heaven, hell or "an old man sitting on a throne." Katy represents a host of PKs who
have struggled with their faith. Recent stats from Barna research say that ... 40 percent have gone through a period where they significantly questioned their faith. 33 percent are no longer active in church. 7 percent no longer consider themselves Christians. What causes this? Pastors who were asked answered: 28 percent—unrealistic expectations were placed on them. 18 percent—negative experiences in church. 17 percent—father or mother is too busy at church to spend time with them. 14 percent—faith not modeled at home. 9 percent—influence of friends or peers. What pastors say they've done best in raising their kids: 37 percent—introduced them to Christ and maintained a Bible-focused home. 21 percent—spent time with them and supported them. 12 percent—loved them. 10 percent—taught them good values. 9 percent—allowed them to make their own choices and be themselves. What pastors say they wish they had done better:
18 | September 2014
42 percent—had spent more time with their kids. 8 percent—wish they had been more understanding. 5 percent—wish they had given them more Bible teaching. 19 percent—no regrets, wouldn't change anything. I have a special place in my heart for kids
I made a personal choice to follow
Love them. They are just like the other kids
Christ, and my faith became my own.
in your ministry. They want to know you care
I came to Christ when I was a young
about them, not because of who their father is,
child. It was a very real experience that
but because of who they are as an individual.
I can still remember to this day. When I
Let them be kids. They are not perfect.
was in high school, God began to speak
They are going to misbehave at times and
to me about being a pastor myself.
make mistakes Don't say, "You should
My parents had never asked me about being a pastor. In fact, they had mentioned several
know better. You are the pastor's kid!" This places unrealistic expectations on them. Don't mistreat their parents. When you talk
who are PKs because I am one. I grew up
times I should consider being a school teacher.
to serve the Lord and live for Him. Looking
And I had personally told God I would never be
about the pastor or cause strife in the church,
back, here are a few reasons why ...
a pastor. Yes, I would be faithful to church and
you not only bring hurt to him, you hurt his
serve Him ... but not working for a church.
kids as well. Even if they don't know the details
My parents practiced what they preached. I could argue with what they
But when God calls .. .you have to make
(hopefully their parents are protecting them
believed, but I couldn't argue with how
a choice. You can say "yes" or you can
from the negative side of church), they sense
they lived what they believed.
walk away from His will for your life. After
when there is strife and division in the church.
My dad and mom spent time with me. My dad spent hours with me in the backyard practicing pitching with me when I was in
struggling for months, I made the choice to say "yes" to God's plan for my life. I said that to say this. At the end of
Pour into their lives. Just because their father is the pastor doesn't mean they don't need other people to teach them, mentor
Little League. When I got into high school
the day, each person must decide for
them and speak into their lives. Yes, my
and played basketball, he was there in the
themselves if they will follow Christ or not.
parents were my primary spiritual influence,
stands cheering for me. My mom poured
Yes, godly parents do make a difference
but there were also lots of godly leaders who
her life into me, always there for me.
and help cultivate the soil, but they cannot
poured into my life over the years. They all
make the decision for their child.
had a part in my decision to follow Christ.
I was able to see past the negative side of ministry. Yes, there are negative sides
Do I blame Katy Perry's parents for the
Don't place unrealistic expectations on their
to ministry. Sheep bite, and people are not
road she has chosen? No. She picked this
father that causes him to be gone from home
perfect. At times, there are politics. The church
path. I could have just as easily chosen
all the time. Help protect their father's time.
is made up of people. People who struggle and
to go down a path away from God.
They need a father at home just like other kids.
have weaknesses like we all do. But I was able to see past that and see the bigger picture.
If your pastor has kids in your children's ministry, I want to encourage you to ...
Don't contribute to them resenting the church because it took their father away all the time.
September 2014 | 19
seveN warNiNgs
to Church Leaders on Social Media
I
f you are a church and/or Christian
or scrub regretful things you have said on
leader on social media, please heed the
social media, but, more times than not,
following warnings. This information
the information can still be retrieved. And
is pertinent whether you are paid or
countless people take screen shots the
volunteer, serving in a church or some other Christian organization.
By Thom Rainer
You can be misunderstood often on social
Those of you who read my blog or
media. The readers or viewers usually cannot
listen to my podcasts know I am a strong
see your body language. They don’t know your
proponent of Christian leaders utilizing
humor or sarcasm. If you have any question
social media. I have seen so many good
about something you will post, don’t post it.
things take place on the various platforms
Emoticons are not sufficient to soften what
available. I have seen the gospel clearly
you have posted. In fact, emoticons are so
shared and embraced on social media.
ubiquitous now that many readers ignore them.
But social media is a two-edged sword.
Attacks on other people’s character or
It can be used for good or great harm. And it
positions are considered cowardly by many.
can harm the ministries of those in Christian
The reader or the viewer typically sees the
leadership. So, whether your platform is a
person writing the information as one who
blog, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn,
hides behind a keyboard or microphone.
Google Plus or many others, please note
They wonder if the writer would have the
these seven warnings. Indeed, it is my prayer
courage to say the same things in person.
that you will heed these seven warnings.
20 | September 2014
moment they see something unwisely posted.
Too many Christian leaders are posting
Consider anything you say on social
on social media in the heat of emotional
media to be permanent. Yes, you can delete
moments. If you are angry or otherwise
You might be surprised how many people
agitated, take a 24-hour break from social
remember, at the risk of being redundant,
media. If not, you may regret it later.
most of the words or photos or videos you
are watching you on social media. And
Churches and other Christian organizations
have posted are permanently recorded.
you might be surprised how many people
are checking social media of Christian leaders.
The non-Christian world is watching
have been hurt and angered by Christian
It has become more commonplace for
Christians attack each other on social media.
leaders on social media. You might also
churches and Christian organizations to do a
Our Christian witness is compromised
be surprised how many gospel-sharing
social media background check of potential
again and again by our social media actions.
opportunities have been forfeited by
candidates. And I recently conversed with a
When we say or write scathing attacks on
unwise things posted on social media.
pastor who was fired from his church because
others, nonbelievers see us as hypocritical,
of something he posted on Facebook. And
inconsistent and unworthy of emulating.
Be wise. Be gracious. Be kind. And be Christ-like.
September 2014 | 21
“From shame to change�
move from merely apologizing about its racially motivated past to actually repenting of it. Most of the denominations that exist in Christianity were either formed with racial motivations at its root or the denomination rejected other races forcing them to organize their own denomination or convention. Whether it's the Southern Baptist who were formed because Baptist in the North and
By Bishop Jerry Hutchins
South clashed on the issue of slavery, to the United Methodist Church who apologized to its Black constituents after many had fled from the organization due to racism, to the
Black leaders for the funeral of the Black teen
Scripture: 2 Chronicles 7:14
Church of God, the Assemblies of God, etc.
who was killed while the Whites gather at
There is only one time in Scripture when
Many of these denominations or conventions
another location and raise almost half a million
God promises to heal the land. That one time is
have apologized for their racial discriminations
dollars to support the white police officer,
a conditional promise and the conditions are:
and a number are making great strides in
race becomes the central focus - not justice.
(1) His people (those called by His name) would
the right direction. We all agree that we
humble themselves (2) pray (3) seek His face
can do more and God will heal the land.
(4) turn from their wicked ways (repent). The
Apology says "we did it and we are ashamed
Are there areas in your personal life that you have apologized for but have not yet repented? Until shame matures to change, shame will
recent Ferguson, Missouri situation is another
of it." Repentance says "we did it and not only
repeat itself. Apology frees the victimizer from
of the many proofs that the land needs healing.
are we ashamed, but we are willing to change."
the shame of their act. Repentance frees the
The antidote does not rest in the hands of the
The racial divide that we see in Ferguson is
victim from the fear of it being done again.
government, community, rallies, or protest. The
another demonstration of the church in its
God's healing is not promised because we
antidote lies in the Church and its willingness to
shame. When a Missouri Church fills with
apologize. It is promised when we repent.
22 | September 2014
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