DISCOVER By Karen Dumas
KNOWING IT’S OK TO SAY YES — AND NO. We’ve all seen the memes that encourage self-awareness, celebrate the wonders of womanhood, and elevate female achievements. Yet, speaking up is more than a social media post. Speaking up begins within. As women, we must first recognize, embrace and accept all that make us unique. Our value isn’t rooted in public validation. But rather, it stems from self-awareness that stands tall and strong regardless of the presence or opinion of others. It’s knowing that sometimes, our self-worth must be shared to be acknowledged and upheld. If we don’t believe it, why should anyone else? It’s knowing that it’s OK to walk-away from what isn’t good or right for us — individually or collectively — and that doing so is sometimes what’s just needed to leverage our ask. It’s knowing “No” is a complete sentence that we have every right to say
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and practice to protect our peace and our progress. It’s also knowing to say, “Yes” despite what we’re taught as young ladies. It is OK to be who you are and stop relegating yourself to the sideline where you may be overlooked. It’s knowing it’s OK to venture to where we are valued and compensated accordingly: commensurate with our skills, commitment, experience and potential. This lets us walk away from friendships and relationships that are more draining than rewarding, and cut off connections where we are giving more than we are receiving. This lets us uphold and uplift other women, recognizing the value of collective elevation: when one rises, we all rise. Speaking up isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean yelling, screaming or emotionally regurgitating everything you’ve held onto over the years. Instead, it’s a clear understanding and communication of who you are, what you expect, what you will or will not tolerate, and a picture of the landscape you expect to participate in. None of this is bad or should ever be frowned upon. If you are told otherwise, it’s time to go.
