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content. 06

Fall into music

Hundred Proof - The Cool Factor Just

When Love Hurts Shedding Light on Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence in California

There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel

Life as a Vegan Soul Sistuhs

African-Americans & Breast Cancer

Cultivating Friendships for Better Health

Literary Review of “John Woman” by Walter Mosley

Black Entrepreneur Launches New Beauty App That Allows You to Live Like a Celebrity

You’ve Got to Vote!

High School Success Tips for Parents

What a Roommate Saves You in 50 U.S. Cities

San Diego Nonprofit Welcomes African Civic Leaders in Immersive Learning Tour

Governor Signs Ten Weber Bills into Law

EDITOR & CHIEF CHIDA REBECCA PUBLISHER REBECCA & CO.

CREATIVE DIRECTION & DESIGN JAINKARAN.COM

CONTRIBUTING FASHION EDITOR DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY BRANDON S. JOHNSON

DEAN HALL

CONTRIBUTORS

CHIDA REBECCA

DEAN HALL

JENNIFER COBURN

DR. CAROLLE JEAN-MURAT, MD

BENNETT PEJI

Â© 2018 BLACK & MAGAZINE PUBLISHED BY REBECCA & CO. SEND LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TO : PUBLISHER@BLACKANDMAGAZINE.COM WWW.BLACKANDMAGAZINE.COM INSTAGRAM: @BLACKANDMAGAZINE TWITTER: @BLACKANDMAG FACEBOOK: @BLACKANDMAGAZINE

LEAD MAKEUP ARTIST ASHLI TAYLOR

publisher’s letter

or the month of October we are bringing attention to two issues that are close to me: Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer. As a survivor of domestic violence, and one who’s lost a grandmother to breast cancer, my concern is that as a community, we take the necessary steps to care for ourselves: physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, economically and socially. I hope something within these pages resonates with you and that if you know someone that needs an extra push to leave a bad relationship or to get to the doctor, that you’ll be that friend to help guide them along the way. Remember to register to vote. The last day to register is October 22nd, for the State of California. Inside this issue, we’ve provide a few resources intended to help equip you for this voting season. Please utilize them, make sure you’re registered, and get to the polls. Don’t let anyone tell you that your vote doesn’t matter...that it doesn’t count. It absolutely does. Your vote is your voice, so use it.

CHIDA REBECCA PUBLISHER

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Fall Into Music

As we settle into fall, there’s nothing more soothing than being enraptured in great nostalgic music. We’ve located a few upcoming shows, that we believe you may enjoy, in the next few months. Be sure to contact the venues for tickets and show details, and let them know that Black & Magazine sent you!

Tamia

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Sunday, October 21st, 2018 Music Box San Diego www.musicboxsd.com Doors open @ 7:00 pm, Show starts@ 8:00 pm Tamia received three Grammy Nominations before she even released her first album from her work on Quincy Jones’ album Q’s Jook Joint. She went on to collaborate with Jermaine Dupri, Keith Crouch, Stevie J, Missy Elliott, Dallas Austin, and Shep Crawford. • Ticket Price: $30 advanced / $32 day of show / $95 VIP meet & greet (online only)/ Indigo Grill dinner for 2 + show package $110 (online only — Limited Availability) / Pass the Line Dinner for 2 + Show Package $160 (Limited Availability) • PARKING: Street parking and paid lot parking available.

Lisa Stansfield October 24th, 2018 Music Box San Diego www. musicboxsd.com Doors open @7:30 pm, Show starts @ 8:30 pm Known for her hit “All Around the World”, Lisa Stansfield’s career started when she won Search for a Star, a singing competition. After many number one hits she was nominated for Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance and Best New Artist. • Ticket Price: $37 advanced / $40 day of show / $126 Indigo Grill + Show for 2 (online only--limited availability) / Pass the Line Dinner for 2 + Show Package $174 (Limited Availability) • Lisa Stansfield Meet & Greet Package - $125 (limited availability sold online only) • Contact: vip@musicboxsd.com / (619) 836-1847 • PARKING: Street parking and paid lot parking available.

Musiq Soulchild Wednesday, November 7th, 2018 Music Box San Diego www.musicboxsd.com Doors open @ 7:00 pm, Show starts at 8:30 pm •Ticket Price: $48 advanced / $50 day of show •PARKING: Street parking and paid lot parking available. •TABLE RESERVATION / VIP: vip@musicboxsd. com / (619) 836-1847

Thievery Corporation feat. Mr. Lif Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018 Belly Up www.bellyup.com Courtesy of Bandsintown.com Born and raised in Boston, Lif broke out with his seminal Enters The Colossus EP, and quickly established himself as one of the most ambitious and forward-thinking MCs in the game.

Southern Avenue October 27th, 2018 - November 4th, 2018 Courtesy of Bandsintown.com Tickets available at www. bandsintown.com Southern Avenue, Memphis, TN. To the world, it’s just a street in the home of rock n roll and blues. But to those who really know and have experienced first hand the depths of the city’s musical soul, its deep roots in the subgenres that create that feel that people can only describe as the “Memphis sound”, there is so much more to its guts.

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Maxwell ‘50 Intimate Nights Live’ feat. Marsha Ambrosius Friday, November 2nd, 2018 at 7:30pm

Humphreys Concerts by the Bay www.humphreysconcerts.com Courtesy of Humphreys Concerts by the Bay Maxwell’s “50 Intimate Nights Live“ tour, is a 50-date trek to many of North America’s top theatres.The multi-GRAMMYwinning soul singer will debut new material during these intimate shows alongside his many critically acclaimed hits. In June, Maxwell debuted “We Never Saw It Coming,” his reflective new song and his first piece of new music since 2016. A 20th anniversary reissue of Maxwell’s 1998 album ‘Embrya’ will also be released this fall. With special guest, GRAMMY® Award • TICKETS: $71.00

Saturday, November 3rd, 2018

The Observatory North Park www.observatorysd.com Doors open @ 7:00 pm, Show starts @ 8:00 pm Courtesy of Bandsintown.com THE INTERNET began as two people – Syd and Matt. Syd taught herself how to record, engineer, and produce at age 15. She also sings, imbuing every song with a sultry, mellifluous, quiet power. Matt produces and plays synths. She’s now 23; he’s now 26. Like all post-modern relationships, the duo initially met on Myspace in 2008, only to meet in-person three years later.

Daneen Wilburn Sunday, November 25th, 2018 Music Box San Diego www.musicboxsd.com Doors open @ 5:30 pm, Show starts @ 7:00 pm Daneen Wilburn’s style transitions effortlessly from soul to gospel, jazz and ballads. At nineteen, she was performing with some of gospel music’s top names, including, Edwin Hawkins, Darryl Coley, and Ricky Grundy. Her latest album received rave reviews from Fred Carter of KPVU Radio in Washington DC and Patrick Van De Weile, of Key and Chord Magazine in Belgium. •Ticket Price: $25 advanced / $30 day of show •PARKING: Street parking and paid lot parking available.

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THE INTERNET

NOW HIRING!

Join Our Team For more information, visit www.joinSDPDnow.com Or contact a Recruiter at sdpdrecruiting@pd.sandiego.gov

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Hundred Proof The Cool Factor Just Increased By Dean Hall Contributing Writer

Hillcrest is one of the trendiest neighborhoods in San Diego and now thanks to Hundred Proof the cool factor just increased. Of all the lunch menus in town, this one makes my top 3. It’s wonderfully diverse while still being very cohesive with plates such as Italian chopped salad, Hawaiian style ahi poke and many more. The first dish on the menu combined two of my favorite things beets and hummus. An extremely palatable roasted beet hummus with pita, feta, toasted pistachios, and green onions. The textures and flavors played so well together making it nearly impossible not to just face plant! When it comes to vegetables, broccoli is king and I’d happily add it to every meal every day. Hundred Proof hit it out of the park with their oven roasted broccoli that’s topped with an oregano vinaigrette, spicy almonds, raisins, and side of paprika aioli. I’ll never order a broccoli thing anywhere

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else because I know there’s no way it could even come close to this delicious perfection! After inhaling my veggies it was time to add a little meat to my lunch plate. Three words that changed my life forever and will change yours too, “crispy chicken thighs”. OOOMMMGGG it’s these crispy, juicy, tidbits of chicken in a sticky Korean sauce topped with cilantro, serranos, and mint. With each bite I kept saying, “how?” how could something be this damn delicious! After I calmed my taste buds it was on to the elote con chorizo. A tasty bowl filled with grilled shrimp, cholula mayo, cotija, tajin, and cilantro. Last but certainly not least I decided on the charred kale pizza. A cheese fest of taleggio, parmesan, and mozzarella with Italian sausage atop a phenomenal dough. I’ve only scratched the surface of all the goodness offered at Hundred Proof and can’t wait to return.

Flashback

Kaaboo By Dean Hall Contributing Writer

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Kaaboo has graced the beautiful city of Del Mar with its presence once again. The annual festival is filled with both musical and visual artists, comedians, and chefs. Now in its 4th year it was completely sold for the first time ever, which is a huge feat. The musical line up was wonderfully curated having a mix of 90’s-00’s favorites such as Nelly, Incubus, Big Boi, and N.E.R.D as well as some of today’s top performers. When Pharrell hit the stage I was instantly overcome with acute nostalgia for my days in jr. high listening to his cd’s in my bedroom. Post Malone, Katy Perry, and Wiz Khalifa also treated festivalgoers to phenomenal performances. In between sets guest could dash to a variety of cocktail activations provided by brands such as Monkey Shoulder, Hendrick’s Gin, and Tullamore Dew. Monkey Shoulder served refreshing whiskey cocktails out of a larger than life mixer on a flatbed, yup you read that correctly! For the gin lovers Hendrick’s Gin prepared the tastiest of drinks in a 3-story bar. Mixologists dazzled

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onlookers by whipping a rose into a million petals and balancing a variety of ingredients from 1-2 floors up. As if that wasn’t enough you could also sign up to be taken in their hot air balloon. The food options were endless from food trucks, to Chipotle and everything in between. Kaaboo showcased some of the most beautiful artwork I’ve had the privilege of laying my eyes on. A few of my favorite pieces were created by Austin Reed, Ivano Stocco, Joaquin Sorro and if you’re unfamiliar they are worth Googling. Kaaboo has solidified its position on the list of festival to attend for sure! I look forward to seeing the acts of 2019, so if you missed this one don’t make the same mistake next year.

WHEN LOVE HURTS

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Mommy He Hit Me!

By Angela de Joseph

don’t know what happened between film script I wrote called “What’s Done In The Dark.” So I won’t go into Chris Brown and Rihanna Fenty. But, I know what happened to me. all the details. I’ll just give you the highlights…well the lowlights that I got a call one day from a family is… We began dating. Our families were friend. I remember having a crush elated. He was a double Ivy league on him when I was a teenager. graduate. He was part of that I have always been a romantic idealist, so I thought the fact we exclusive club of Black men, like my oldest brother, that had gone to had met in New York twenty years earlier and we were both now living Harvard. There were lavender roses; there was a rather large diamond in Los Angeles and single, meant something. engagement ring and a wedding to plan. This is a long story. As a matter of fact, it is the subject of a feature

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He called every day. Actually he called me ALL day. He wanted to know where I was and what I was doing ALL the time. He wanted to be with me ALL the time. I thought it was love. I didn’t know it was control. The first time he flipped out on me, I thought it was my fault. The second time it was worse and I thought something was very wrong. He said it was a medication that he was taking. He promised to go to the doctor and get the dose adjusted. I forgave him and moved in his house. I did not know there was name for this, verbal abuse. The first night before I had even unpacked he terrorized me. He yelled and criticized and berated me for hours. This went on all night long. I had given up my apartment. All my belongings were in storage under his name and I had nowhere to go. He abruptly stopped yelling and became loving again. At that time I was working on a local television show, “AM Los Angeles.” I was due at the studio in a few hours to do a live broadcast. He drove me to the studio and helped unpack all the clothes for the fashion segment I was doing. He made me promise not to tell anyone what had happened. I was an emotional wreck but the show must go on. I went on the air and like nothing had happened, did

my segment. The host that day, Johnnie Mountain, told the city of Los Angeles the romantic story of how I got engaged at sunrise at the Hollywood Bowl on Easter Sunday. I sat there smiling on camera and holding my hand up to show off my engagement ring. That was the day I lost my soul. I was now officially an abused woman. I was now a partner in covering up his abusive behavior. The abuse escalated. I went out for dinner with a girlfriend and he was waiting for me when I got in and began screaming and cursing at me. His face was contorted with anger and his tirade went on for hours. He threatened to throw all my belongings outside. The next day he told my mother I had stayed out too late and he was worried about me. But, my mother had been the victim of years of emotional abuse by my father and she was not fooled. There was an article in JET magazine about James Brown beating his wife with a lead pipe. My abuser apologized to me and told me he felt he had done the same thing to me that James Brown had done to his wife. He said he was sorry and asked me to promise him I would never leave him. He knew what he did was abuse – why didn’t I know?

his nightmare continued. The cycle of abuse shortened. He could go upstairs in one personality and come downstairs in another. I never knew when the monster would come out. If I fell asleep before he did he got mad. If I talked on the phone he got mad. It didn’t really matter. I began to live in fear of displeasing him. I was a traumatized, fragile, nonperson. I clung to him when we went out so he wouldn’t accuse me of looking at anyone. I ran to the phone because I didn’t want to anger him if I didn’t pick up right away. I stopped seeing my friends. I could barely function. One night he went into a tirade and knocked me over the couch. He tried to drag me upstairs like the scene in “What’s Love Got To Do With It” when Ike drags Tina down the hall. I tried to run to the door and he caught me and began strangling me. At some point his other personality came out and he began to talk to me and apologize. He fell asleep and I went upstairs and barricaded myself in the bedroom. I called my best friend. To this day I don’t know why she didn’t call the police. He woke up and tried to break the door down. Once he saw me he started crying. I had a black eye and hand

prints around my neck. He got ice for my bruises. He stayed home from work to take care of me. The next few days he was loving and very attentive. He wouldn’t let me leave the house until the bruises healed. When I finally went to a friend’s house she knew something was very wrong with me. She saw traces of a black eye under my makeup and asked what happened. I told her I fell. She didn’t believe it. That night he called and left a message on her answering machine that he was throwing all my clothes outside. Then he called and said he was keeping all my stuff. I finally told my friend what happened. I told my family. They were relieved I was safe and away from him. Then he called me and the next thing I knew I went back to him. I went back to the house that he had held me prisoner and beat the crap out of me. I went back!!! As I write this I can’t understand it. But, it is as if I was under a spell. My friends were livid. My mother wanted to knock his head off. My brother wanted to kill him. But, he had agreed to my terms. We went to counseling together, to church and had a weekly Bible study. Everything was wonderful again until he flipped out again. I will fast forward here and tell you that he was arrested and taken off of me at gunpoint

by the police. The police told me I must press charges because the next call on this guy would be a homicide. This was before Nicole Simpson was murdered so he was never brought up on criminal charges. I wanted to go to court but the judge let him take a diversion program and go to counseling. I sued him in civil court. Before the trial we were forced to go to arbitration. The judge ruled in my favor. I wanted to make a stand for battered women and to make sure there would be a record of what he had done to me. Along the way I found out he was a serial abuser. I managed to save my life and perhaps another woman’s life. Too much, too soon – wants to get you committed right away Over communication – keeping tabs on you. Too much togetherness – wants to be with you 24/7 Alienates you – causes strife with your family and friends. Criticizes you – tries to undermine your self-worth Dominates you – tries to be your parent Flips on you – goes from loving to mean in an instant Hot Temper – yells at service people, the dog and you Blames you – tries to find reasons you made him go out of control

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on’t wait until he hits you. First is verbal abuse, then emotional abuse and finally after you are a shell of yourself there is physical abuse. If they started by hitting you then you would leave. But, first they destroy your self esteem and rattle your sense of reality then they can hit you and you will stay!

up women are cowards. They will not stand up to another man much less a group of men. Call them out! The best possibility of stopping the cycle of abuse is to get help. Both the abuser and the abused need professional psychological help. Whether they have been abused as children or feel inadequate for some reason, the result is pathological. This doesn’t go away. It always gets worse. Abusers kill or are killed. Over 2,000,000 women are battered every year and ten percent of those end up murdered by their abuser. Thirty four percent of women in prison were abused and 50% of the women who commit homicides, murder their husband or boyfriend citing years of physical abuse at the hands of their victim.

There is no type of woman that gets abused. Woman of all races, educational levels and economic classes are being abused daily. Yes, women who are financially dependent have a more difficult time leaving, but being emotionally dependent sets you up to be a victim. It is like the elephant that is held by a metal chain around its leg as a baby then as an adult can be held by a thin rope. Mentally, if a woman is chained she won’t leave or she will keep going back to I started off by saying her abuser. I don’t know what happened between Chris If you know someone who Brown and Rihanna Fenty you think is being abused and I don’t. But, I do know they probably are. I can that in the time it took always tell. Women act you to read this note, like frightened, pathetic, fifty women have been lost creatures when they battered and before this are being abused. Call day is over four women will the police and go to their have been killed. house. Get the family and friends together and do an It’s easy to judge or call a intervention. They are sick. woman a fool because she It isn’t love. It is an illness. stays or goes back to her And men, get together abuser but if you get her and roll on him. Stand up the help she needs you for women. Men that beat could save her life.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS? Courtesy of the YWCA Domestic violence is a recurring, chronic, deliberate pattern of behaviors perpetuated by one partner (or expartner) to gain power and maintain control over another in a relationship, including physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and financial abuse. It affects individuals from all backgrounds — regardless of age, gender identity, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, economic status, education, or religion. Domestic violence includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, or injure someone. Although the frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically, the single constant is one partner’s perpetual efforts to maintain power and control over the other. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. Warning Signs of an

Abusive Relationship There is no one typical, detectable personality of an abuser. In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. However, they do often display common characteristics. An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows. Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who: • Wants to know where you are and who you’re with all of the time — frequently calling, texting and emailing you throughout the day. • Displays jealous or possessive tendencies but says that they are only trying to protect you or it’s because they love you. • Wants you all to themselves insisting that you stop spending time with your friends or family, or stop participating in activities you enjoyed before the relationship. • Prevents you from working, attending school, or making any of your own decisions. • Criticizes or puts you down with comments that you are stupid, unattractive, can’t do anything right, or that no one else would ever want or

love you. • Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets. • Controls your money, refuses to give you money for necessary expenses, or doesn’t allow you to make any financial decisions. • Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others. • Makes you feel unable or fearful of making decisions without their approval. • Takes no responsibility for their behavior and blames you or others. What to do if you are in an abusive relationship Getting out of an abusive or violent relationship isn’t easy. Maybe you’re still hoping that things will change or you’re afraid of what your partner will do if they discover you’re trying to leave. Whatever your reasons, you probably feel trapped, fearful, and helpless — but support and resources are available. Call our confidential 24-hour hotline at 619.234.3164 and a counselor can assist you with developing a safety plan and connecting you to resources, including shelter, legal services, childcare, job training, and other services. Be safe — always call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

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How to help someone who is in an abusive relationship

• Assist the victim in getting legal help if necessary or with other sources of protection, • Acknowledge that such as protective they are in a very or restraining orders, difficult and scary changing current situation, be supportive phone numbers, etc. and listen. Let them • Do not force the know that the abuse is victim or apply pressure not their fault. Reassure to not see the abuser. them that they are not It may be very difficult alone and that there for the victim to leave is help and support the relationship for out there. Do not be a variety of reasons. critical of the abusive Respect their choices. partner — instead • Provide a safe make firm statements environment and that violence under opportunities for the any circumstance is victim to become aware unacceptable. of available resources, • Be non-judgmental. explore their options, Respect your friend and know that they or family member’s do not deserve to be decisions. There are abused. many reasons why • Remember that you victims stay in abusive cannot “rescue” them. relationships. They may Although it is difficult leave and return to to see someone you the relationship many care about get hurt, times. Do not criticize ultimately they are the their decisions or try one who has to make to guilt them. Victims the decisions about are not responsible for what they want to do. their partner’s choices It’s important for you to or violence, and do not support them no matter deserve more shame. what they decide, and They will need your help them find a way to support even more safety and peace. during those times. • Don’t underestimate • Do not assume that the danger. Frequently, the victim is ready to the most dangerous leave the relationship time for a victim is or that you know what when they leave the is best for them. Don’t abuser. If you fear for pressure the victim to their safety, call 911 make quick decisions. immediately.

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STATISTICS Courtesy of Safe Horizon

National Domestic Violence Statistics • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017) • 1 in 10 women in the United States will be raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime. (CDC, 2010) • Approximately 16.9% of women and 8.0% of men will experience sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010) • Data on sexual violence against men may be underreported. • An estimated 9.7% of women and 2.3% of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime. (CDC, 2017) • Nearly half of all women and men in the United States will experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017) • Over half of female and male victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner experienced some form of intimate partner violence for the first time before 25 years of age. (CDC, 2010)

Domestic Violence Against Women Experienced by Race/Ethnicity • Almost half (47.5%) of American Indian/ Alaska Native women, • 45.1% of Black women • 37.3% of White women • 34.4% of Hispanic women • 18.3% of Asian-Pacific Islander women experience contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2017)

Domestic Violence and Sexual Orientation • 2 in 5 lesbian women, 3 in 5 bisexual women, and 1 in 3 heterosexual women will experience rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010) • 1 in 4 gay men, 1 in 3 bisexual men, and 3 in 10 heterosexual men will experience rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (CDC, 2010)

DO MESTIC

VIOL ENCE IN CALI F O RNIA

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BLACK & LIVING 40% of reported incidents involved weapons. In a single day, domestic violence shelters served almost 5,800 women and children. A forcible rape occurs every 56 minutes in California. Between 2009 and 2011, while other types of hom% icides decreased, domestic violence fatalities in California increased by 11%. Domestic violence homicides comprise 11.8% of all California homicides. As of December 31, 2015, California had submit% ted 8,245 domestic violence misdemeanor con% victions and ten domestic violence protective orders to the NICS Index.

DID YOU KNOW?

On a typical day, domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 21,000 calls, approximately 15 calls every minute. Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime. The presence of a gun in the home during a domestic violence incident increases the risk of homicide by at least 500%. 72% of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these crimes are female. Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner. 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon. Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.2

HOMICIDE •A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.3 •72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female

PHYSICAL/ MENTAL IMPACT

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• Women abused by their intimate partners are more vulnerable to contracting HIV or other STI’s due to forced intercourse or prolonged exposure to stress.7 • Studies suggest that there is a relationship between intimate partner violence and depression and suicidal behavior.7 • Physical, mental, and sexCHILDREN AND ual and reproductive health DOMESTIC effects have been linked VIOLENCE with intimate partner violence including adolescent •1 in 15 children are exposed pregnancy, unintended to intimate partner violence pregnancy in general, miseach year, and 90% of these carriage, stillbirth, intrauterchildren are eyewitnesses to ine hemorrhage, nutritional this violence.5 deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal ECONOMIC problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, IMPACT anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as • Victims of intimate partwell as noncommunicable ner violence lose a total of 8.0 million days of paid work diseases such as hypertension, cancer and cardiovaseach year.6 • The cost of intimate partner cular diseases. Victims of violence exceeds $8.3 billion domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing per year.6 • Between 21-60% of victims addictions to alcohol, tobacof intimate partner violence co, or drugs.7 lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.6 • Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser, 78% of women killed in the workplace during this timeframe.4

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Light at the End of the Tunnel By Chida Rebecca

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he days, months and years of verbal and physical abuse didn’t seem like they’d end. But they did. I’ve learned that every storm has to end. You’ve got to believe that. After I realized that there was nothing I could do to make the marriage work, make him stop hitting me, yelling at me, breaking things in the home, being a poor example of love to our children, I left. The days after our split were the hardest, which were just a few weeks before Christmas. Our boys were 2 and 4 years old. They’d spent every day with their daddy and they adored him. How was I to explain to them that he was gone? I didn’t have the energy or the courage. All I could do was focus on getting “ME” back to square one, so that I could be a better mother to them. I was in a fog for a few days after he’d gone, just going through the motions. But one day I couldn’t take it, and I snapped. After the boys were in bed in their room, I went downstairs in the living room, laid down and buried my face in the carpet. I cried and screamed and cried and screamed. “What had I done?” I thought. Still blaming myself is what I had done. I blamed myself for not having the strength to put up with foolishness. I blamed myself for no longer being able to wear a fake smile; for no longer wanting to hide bruises… I simply blamed myself for it all. One of my biggest fears had manifested: being in a broken home. I was now a single parent, embarking on a journey to raise two Black boys on my own. I wasn’t sure where he’d be in the grand scheme of things, but it wasn’t for me to worry about. At least not at that moment.

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There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel

A There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel

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fter I had cried, yelled and screamed...and cried some more, I felt God speak to my heart saying “he’s my child too.” This understanding was the start on my journey of forgiveness. While I was so focused on being the victim, I failed to realize that 1.) Hurt people, hurt people and that 2.) My husband was just as much of a victim as I was. I couldn’t carry him around in my spirit any longer, hating him, despising him. That was not God’s best for me. A way of escape through our separation was created, and we were both freed from each other. That was all that mattered to me. That is all that should’ve mattered. The forgiveness wasn’t instantaneous. I wanted to be angry, but by not forgiving him, I was allowing him to hold me captive. God wanted me free! Free to continue living, loving and nurturing my boys. God wanted me at my best, and that place of brokenness was not His best for me. I kept laying my burdens down, but picking them back up. That abuse, and brokenness was a crutch I was leaning on. And HARD. If I kept the crutch, I didn’t have to love again. If I kept the crutch, my sons would know an angry Black woman.

That’s not what I wanted. So I dealt with the hurt. I revisited the roots of what got me into that situation in the first place. What was I lacking that caused me to ignore the warning signs? Forgiveness is the key to healing. Assessing what happened so that you don’t revisit that situation again is paramount! I may have been a victim, but I did not let the situation victimize me. Today, me and my children’s father have a great relationship. We’re divorced and have moved on in our separate ways. To me, he’s a beautiful person that I met at the wrong time in our lives. We both were in need of healing and looking for the other to supply something we weren’t capable of giving each other. I’ve never spoken ill of him to our children, but have simply shared that their father isn’t a bad man - he just simply made some bad choices. We all have. In the end, he and I needed to become healthier individuals for ourselves, our children and our future. IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MAKE THE CALL. SAVE A LIFE. 1−800−799−7233

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Life as a Vegan Soul Sistuh By Chida Rebecca

I BLACK & LIVING

t’s no secret that more individuals in the Black community are making a shift toward the Vegan way of life. A popular Facebook group called “Vegan Soul Sistuhs” is gaining some visibility for being a great place for Black women to spectate, get informed and make the transition.

While there are vegan resources all over, Currington said it was important to have a space that belonged to people of color. “Where PETA, while important wasn’t the main focus because let’s be honest, ads with blood stained fur coats don’t move [a lot of] us (we love animals), I needed an environment where we could coexist, judgment free. Our struggle is just different, I needed a space that spoke to that Created by Tamera Currington difference.” By following her heart, approximately 8 months ago, the she offered a needed platform, and Facebook group was inspired from received a great response, which an unfortunate circumstance exceeded her wildest imagination. “I that turned out to be a blessing in honestly didn’t think there would be disguise. “My 20 year old daughter more than a couple hundred women developed congestive heart failure in the group, if that. When we hit the after birthing her first child and 1000 mark I was like, ‘hmm ok, this is it worsened after her second. As interesting.’ What I discovered is that a result of extensive research on there is this awakening taking place. natural ways to promote healthy This realization that we have to be heart function, we settled on a plant- wholly involved in our own health; based journey.” The group offers that some of the DISeases our elders support to those on the journey of succumbed to are preventable. I see becoming vegan, and offers a way women deciding to take charge of for women to connect with other their lives and that of their families, women who had already transitioned beginning with their nutrition. or were interested in transitioning to a plant-based lifestyle. “In The proof is in the pudding, over the second month of the groups 20,000 members strong in under existence my daughter suffered two 8 months.” Currington says there massive strokes, I lost my job, car seems to be this drive back to where and housing. VeganSoulSistuhs has we as a people came from; eating been very instrumental in keeping off the land, and it’s her desire that me afloat and broadening my vision everyone understands the benefits as it pertains to the next leg of my of adopting a plant-based lifestyle, life’s journey.” As a result, Currington that they see it as a lifestyle choice was able to make somewhat of a and not a diet. “Even greater than living on the Vegan T-shirts that she that, I want people to benefit from created with the logo, “which is quite healthier food choices and realize a dope logo, if I say so myself,” she that the way we’ve been doing said. it, following the SAD (Standard American Diet) is literally killing us.”

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When asked about the misconceptions about eating meat Currington said “The largest misconception and question plant-based eaters get is about protein. Because of misguided campaigns propagated by the meat industry that the largest protein While some may think this source comes from meat, is simply a Facebook group people are led to believe she started, Currington we need meat for protein. says that the vegan lifestyle Protein in fact comes is extremely important to from plants, not animals. her. “It has already had Whenever presented with a positive impact on my that question, I respond daughters heart function. that I get my protein from Even after suffering two the same place as that massive strokes, her heart steak you ate last night. If function has increased by mammals contained protein 15%, according to her last naturally, humans would echocardiogram. Prior to also because, well, we are transitioning, her heart mammals. It is important to function was continuously do our own research and to decreasing; from 50% all open our eyes to the plain the way down to 15%. In truth. just one months time of eating plant-based, she was We are the only species of at 30%. Again, the proof mammals that continues to is in the vegan pudding! consume milk after being Secondly, I just feel better weaned and it’s the milk overall. I’ve struggled with from a totally different my weight and hypertension species. Why? Because for many years and as a the dairy industry says we result of transitioning, I need it for calcium. If that have lost upwards of 60 is true, why are so many lbs and have been able to people calcium deficient? adjust my blood pressure That reality alone should medicine. I am also able to be reason for pause. do my part as a Champion That reality should have for Change in terms of you asking why you’re the inhumane way we suckling milk intended farm animals today. It is for calfs, particularly if imperative to understand it adds nothing to your that you must feed life, with life,” Currington added life. Plants are living things “VeganSoulSistuhs and therefore essential to is tailored to women, living an optimal life.” specifically, women of color.

About a month into my transition, after having joined several vegan groups, I started to desire to have conversations that I didn’t feel comfortable having in ‘mixed company’. I wanted to talk about the gas I was experiencing, Lol. It was bad, BAD. I also wanted to talk about hormonal changes that might affect menstruation and sex drive. I wanted to do that in a way that honored us as women. I needed that sense of sisterhood.” In Currington’s opinion there are very few spaces created for women of color that function efficiently. “We all know that we’re told ‘we’ can’t get along in large groups. VeganSoulSistuhs breaks that myth. That isn’t to say we are completely drama free. Every now and again we get the random post, “Why do you want vegetables to remind you of meat?” Like you weren’t sucking on neck bones for half your life. Something about change makes us forget where we came from, my admins and I work very hard to be that stark reminder, you are just one broccoli floret away from a bowl of oxtails, sis. I will say however, comparing the ratio of the groups size to the random moments of reminding sisters we operate a non judgmental space, the occurrences are very few.”

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In an effort to ensure that the brothas aren’t feeling neglected, Currington said that there’s a co-ed group called “VeganSoulSistuhs & the Brothas Whoem.” “This group, while it includes men, is exclusive to POC. I started it as kind of a dating page for brothas and sistuhs who want to connect with others on the journey. While it is not nearly as large as the original group, it is also needed. One of the largest discussions amongst single Black vegan women, is where are the single Black vegan men, the Adonis, Hercules type brothas sipping on tea while making a pot of meatless greens.” . Currington’s vision for VeganSoulSistuhs is quite large. She hopes to one day host retreats and workshops that provide tools for whole healing; mind, body and spirit. “I hope that this is the kindling that sparks a massive wildfire of change. That as a group we continue to grow, that leadership is born to carry the torch and ignite fires all across this land. I can be a bit dreamy, I know, but as women of color, I believe, we carry the brunt of this worlds turmoil. With that, I believe we are also the gatekeepers of a new day and if VeganSoulSistuhs touches even one life, for life, I have done my job.”

Currington is grateful for the women and administrators who have joined her in making the Facebook group what it is today. “They are instrumental in maintaining my vision, accepting close to 1000 new members weekly and standing in the gap in my absence. They are a group of phenomenal women and I hope that this group will in some ways open doors for them that will increase their level of living.” Visit www.facebook.com/VeganSoulSistuhs and

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AFRICANAMERICANS & BREAST CANCER Annie Eddey Susan G. Komen San Diego

Breast cancer disparities for African-American women are startling. In 2012 (most recent data available), breast cancer mortality was 42 percent higher for African-American women in the U.S. than Caucasian women. And, African-American women are often diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer when treatment options are limited, costly and the prognosis is poor. Susan G. KomenÂŽ believes this is unacceptable and is working to change these outcomes.

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Mortality

•An estimated 6,080 deaths Incidence from breast cancer were expected to occur among •An estimated 27,060 new African- American women cases of breast cancer were in 2013 (most recent data expected to occur among available).1, p.3 African- American women •Breast cancer is the second in 2013 (most recent data most common cause of available).1, p.3 cancer death among African•One in nine African-American American women, exceeded women in the U.S. will be only by lung cancer.1, p.10 diagnosed with breast cancer •The higher mortality rate in in her lifetime.1,p.2 black women may be related •Breast cancer is the most to a combination of factors, common cancer among including differences in stage African-American women.1, at diagnosis, obesity and p.10 comorbidities, and tumor •Black women have a higher characteristics, as well as breast cancer incidence rate access, adherence and than white women before age response to treatment. 2, p. 8. 45.2, p 4 •Incidence rates for white and Specific Populations black women in the U.S. are and Breast Cancer becoming more similar. 2, p.7 •The median age of diagnosis Black/AfricanAmericans is 58 years old for black women, compared to 62 years •The overall 5-year relative old for white women. 2, p 4 survival rate for breast •Premenopausal Africancancer diagnosed in 2008American women appear to 2012 among black women be at particular risk of triple was 81 percent, compared negative breast cancer and to 92 percent among white basal-like breast cancers; women; this difference may an aggressive subtype of breast cancer associated with be attributed to both later stage at diagnosis and poorer shorter survival. 1, p.10 stage-specific survival among •Studies have shown that certain reproductive patterns black women. 2 p 10 that are more common among •About 51 percent of all breast cancers diagnosed among African- American women (including giving birth to more African-American women are at a local stage, compared than one child, younger age to 61 percent among white at first period, and early age women. 1, p.10 at first pregnancy), may be •Possible reasons for lower associated with increased risk of aggressive subtypes of survival of African-American women compared to white breast cancer. 1,p.10

women include biologic and genetic differences in tumors, prevalence of risk factors, barriers to access to quality health care, lifestyle choices and later stage of breast cancer at diagnosis.1, p.10

Risk Factors •Being overweight and obese (known risk factors for postmenopausal breast cancer) are more common among African- American women and girls than white women and girls.1,p.19

Screening •Since 2000, mammography use in black women has been relatively stable.1,p.15 •In 2013 (most recent data available), 70 percent of non-Hispanic black women 45 years and older reported having received a mammogram within the past two years, compared to 69 percent of non-Hispanic white women in the same age range. 2,p.19 •Despite generally similar screening rates, breast cancer is detected at an advanced stage more often in African-American than in white women. This difference has been largely attributed to longer intervals between mammograms and lack of timely follow-up of suspicious results. 1,p.15

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A By Jocelyn Salas Courtesy of Susan G. Komen

Alicia Cook, Breast Cancer Survivor licia Cook is a wife, mother of two, and two-time breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed at the age of 34 with stage II triple negative breast cancer. She began her breast cancer advocacy work after the loss of her sister and other family members to the disease. In addition, she has organized and led a team for the American Cancer Society walk, served as a volunteer for the Avon Breast Cancer walk, worked with the Young Survivors of Breast Cancer Support Group, served as a Consumer Reviewer for the DOD Breast CDMRP research program, and is currently active as a Susan G. Komen volunteer. Cook is particularly concerned with breast cancer prevention in the African-American population and encouraging participation in clinical trials. She has shared her breast cancer journey at events such as the Metropolitan Breast Cancer Task Force’s “Beyond October Event,” The Southland Coalition’s annual “Conquering Breast Cancer” event, and as a panelist at the University of Chicago Global Health Week event. Cook serves as patient advocate on University of Chicago research projects, as a volunteer for the Metropolitan Chicago Breast Cancer Task Force Sisters Saving Lives program, and participated in Advocacy Day at the Illinois State Capitol.

Cultivating Friendships for Better Health By Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat

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true friend is someone who accepts you for who you are, is honest with you, is someone you can trust, and is there when you are in need. A true friend shows they value your friendship.

Friendships, especially between women, can be our mirror and help us shape who we are and who we will become. Friendship can be the balm in our lives when the going gets tough, a shoulder to cry on when our intimate relationships go sour, and someone to share our joy when things go right.

According to a recent poll reported in the American Sociological Review, Americans, regardless of gender, race, age, or education level, said they had only two close friends, compared to a poll in 1985 saying they had three close friends. About one in four had no one with whom they could discuss important matters. This unfortunate decline in close, personal friends has been attributed to a number of reasons: people work longer hours and commute longer distances; women who work outside the home are also busy tending to family chores; those who do not work tend to the children and spend much time chauffeuring them to activities and lessons, and people are spending more and more time on the computer and other electronic devices, rather than spending time in person with friends.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve noticed this worrisome trend among those who seek my help with fertility issues or to try to make sense of their lives. Most of them have all the materialist trappings but do not have any close friends; often, they also do not have close ties with their families. They do, however, say they spend time engaging with many â&#x20AC;&#x153;friendsâ&#x20AC;? in social media. BLACK & LIVING

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am not alone in my opinion that in order to stay healthy we must make, cultivate, and keep good friends in our lives. Here are some tips to keep your friendships healthy, so they can keep you healthy, too: · Before you can be a good friend, you have to be your own best friend. This means taking the time to nurture yourself, forgive yourself, and heal any childhood traumas that are causing you to be unhealthy.

things out is invaluable. · Friendships must be nurtured. · Friendships must be reciprocated. · Being a good friend means knowing when to talk and when to listen. · Be honest with your friends, speak up when something is bothering you, and expect your friends to do the same. · Take the time frequently to let your friends know how important they are to you.

· You need to be able to love and accept yourself as you are; otherwise, you will not be able to love and accept others as · Friends come into they are. your life for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. · As you grow older, It’s okay to let a friend go your parents, siblings, if you grow apart. relatives, and old friends can become your best · Be receptive to new friends. Take time to friends throughout your forgive them for past life, as your lifestyle and hurts and make amends. interests change. I am especially lucky · Each friend can support to have a network of you in a different aspect friends of all cultural of your life. backgrounds, social classes, and races in the · As a woman, it can be four countries where I’ve difficult to understand lived. I also have a very a man’s thoughts and close relationship with behaviors and vice versa. my siblings and other Having friends of both family members. sexes to help you sort

In general, those who have a network of friends with whom they socialize regularly—not only on the Internet—are less likely to be sick or depressed compared with those who keep to themselves. That’s another reason to count your friends as blessings. If you are not fortunate to have at least three people in your life you can call true friends, it is time to remedy the situation.

Author: Dr. Carolle Jean-Murat, MD, FACOG is a board-certified ObGyn, fertility specialist, and a gifted medical intuitive, energy and spiritual healer with over four decades of experience who has helped many dealing with fertility issues get pregnant naturally. She intuitively knows the underlying reasons why you’re not getting pregnant. You can use her services via telephone or you can spend time with her in her sacred garden in the Mount Helix area of San Diego, CA if you want to experience her healing in person.

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Literary Review of “John Woman” by Walter Mosley By Terri Schlichenmeyer

“John Woman” by Walter Mosley c.2018, Atlantic Monthly Press $26.00 / $38.95 Canada 320 pages

his son: CC learned to speak correctly, to think widely, and to love history. He became a respected, responsible boy who quietly assumed his father’s job when Herman fell ill.

to read.

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In many ways, fans of author Walter Mosley will know this: Mosley likes to create unique situations, deep philosophers, and thinkers, and in this book, he’s totally accomplished that. There’s a It was a job that saved weird super-educated “cult,” them both, in many ways, for example, that serpentines but it wasn’t to last. When Clothes, as they say, make the Herman died and CC’s mother through the plotline, but it’s a largely-unexplained tease. vanished, CC left New York man. More prominently, the title , attended college under an character here is so deep in assumed name, and then So do his language and his ideas that what he says reinvented himself again demeanor – but what else? is sometimes indecipherable as John Woman, professor Did his parents or teachers but it’ll still tickle your mind at New University of the make him who he is? Is it Southwest in Arizona . There, until well, well into the book. income, peer pressure, the At that point, the sheer movies he sees, jobs he holds, because of his brilliant brilliance of it all becomes or his favorite music? Or, as in hypotheses and his cuttingclear, as does his next step the new novel “John Woman” edge deconstructionist and yours, for that matter, as history classes, students by Walter Mosley, is a man this book’s meaning lingers flocked to his classroom. made purely of his actions – and your mind is blown. including murder? But not everyone loved John Needless to say, despite the Woman. Cornelius “CC” Jones had drama and bedroom scenes always adored his mother. within, this book isn’t a fluffohn Woman never fit in, bit that you can set down at nor did he try. Several of Some of his best memories a whim. This novel is going his colleagues wanted him were of having tea with her in her apartment, listening to gone from the NUSA, though to force you to think, as well as gasp, smile, and chuckle. others were highly intrigued her blithely reminisce about If you’re ready for a ten-tonpast loves, kisses and passion, by the way his mind worked. and the night she was almost A barely-transparent “cult” of heavy novel, “John Woman” will make you very happy. elites that ran the University killed but instead met CC’s had their eye on Woman father. because they recognized his extreme genius. And then Those memories framed there was the NYPD, which one side of CC’s childhood, was looking for John Woman and his father framed the for a murder they were sure other side. Herman Jones he’d committed…. was a slave in Mississippi before he taught himself to The very first thing you need read. He had a great love of to know is that “John Woman” books and philosophy, and is absolutely not an easy book he demanded much from

Courtesy of BlackNews.com

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Black Entrepreneur Launches New Beauty App That Allows You to Live Like a Celebrity

Baltimore, MD -- StyleTrail, an online web and mobile marketplace launching this year, intends to be the #1 Staffing Agency for beauty industry professionals. The average beauty salon generates $200,000 per year and operates at only 40% capacity. However, by booking a daily booth rental twice a week with StyleTrail, salon owners can increase revenue by up to 75%! BLACK & HAUTE

eauticians want the freedom to move around and make their own schedules. StyleTrail will allow salon and barbershop owners to easily browse and hire licensed professionals to occupy their empty booths. Thus, providing the desired scheduling flexibility to stylists. Eric Warner, the Founder and CEO of StyleTrail, will be featured in the “Black Men In Tech” series which includes Forbes magazine; explains, “This app will provide an increase in revenue due to its immediate staffing abilities.”

online booking, and business development tools. Eric also understands that while most people are comfortable with mobile applications, there is still a huge population of people who prefer to log onto the computer to handle their business affairs. He states, “Almost everyone gets their hair styled or uses some kind of beauty related product, but everyone doesn’t necessarily use apps and because we’re not trying to appeal solely to app users, we’re already setting ourselves apart from the competition.”

Through StyleTrail, Beauty Pros such as Hair Stylists, Barbers, Cosmetologists, Massage Therapists, Waxologists, and Nail Techs, will have the ability to search and apply to work in professional salons anywhere in the world. Beauty establishment owners, will have the ability to hire beauty pros and generate revenue from their empty beauty space. The company plans to launch in Baltimore, MD initially, before expanding to cities across the United States. StyleTrail maintains a competitive advantage by offering paid advertising to its members as well as

StyleTrail is an online marketplace created by Founder and CEO, Eric Warner, to provide beauty experts with professional workspaces and help salon owners locate and hire needed talent anytime. StyleTrail currently has 50 committed beauty professionals and over 100,000 contacts within the beauty industry. StyleTrail has completed two accelerator programs. Eric has 10 years of experience in the technology and design industry. For more information please, visit www.styletrail.co

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N E W YO R K FA S H I O N W E E K NEW YORK FASHION WEEK MONSE

BRANDON MAXWELL PHILIPP PLEIN

PRABAL GURUNG

PHOTOS: VOGUE

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M I L A N FA S H I O N W E E K MILAN FASHION WEEK

FENDI

MISSONI

MAX MARA

MSGM

PHOTOS: VOGUE

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YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE GOT TO VOTE!

ith election day around the corner, we’ve compiled some useful resources for voters to check out, that will help make more informed decisions on who to vote for. Vote Smart is a website designed to offer “free, factual, unbiased information on candidates and elected officials to all Americans,” according to their mission statement. At Vote Smart “ Americans young and old volunteer their time, take no money from special interest groups, and have committed themselves to an extraordinary effort that, if successful, will provide their fellow citizens with the tools for a reemergence of political power not known for half a century.” www.votesmart.org

Vote411.

org is a resourceful website created and launched by the League of Women Voters Education Fund (LWVEF) in October of 2006. The website is considered a one stop for all election and voter information need for today’s voter to make an informed decision at the Polls.

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The website is offers “nonpartisan information to the public with both general and state-specific information on the following aspects of the election process: Absentee ballot information, Ballot measure information (where applicable), Early voting options (where applicable), Election dates, Factual data on candidates in various federal, state and local races, General information on such topics as how to watch debates with a critical eye, ID requirements, Polling place locations, Registration deadlines, Voter qualifications, Voter registration forms, Voting machines.” Visit www.vote411.org

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HIGH SCHOOL SUCCESS TIPS FOR PARENTS By Jennifer Coburn

of high school students.

As San Diego students head back to school, parents of incoming high school freshman may wonder how they can best support their children. After all, these grades now count for college so they want to be involved. But they also don’t want to be “helicopter parents” and deny their students the opportunity to foster independence. How do parents make sure they’re appropriately involved – even when their kids don’t want them to be? How can they get their distant and moody teens to communicate and engage? Dr. Helen V. Griffith, Executive Director of e3 Civic High, has been an educational thought leader for 25 years and has witnessed firsthand how parents can help – or hinder – their scholars’ academic success. She’s seen it all and has some practical, actionable advice for parents

We sat down with Dr. Griffith at e3 Civic High, a charter high school she helped launch five years ago at the Central Library downtown. It is a vibrant hub of innovation with brightly colored walls and open spaces made for collaboration. Were it not for the scholars in their professional attire buzzing about, one might mistake the space for a tech start-up. That’s part of the plan, says Dr. Griffith, who explains that every element of the school from its design to curriculum was thoughtfully developed with an eye toward fostering intellectual curiosity, creativity, and a genuine love for learning. In your parent engagement seminars, you’ve talked about how parents can use technology to support their scholars. Every year technology improves for parents of high school scholars. At our school, we use an online student information system called PowerSchool which parents can use from their desktop, or download onto their ipad, or smartphone. They can monitor grades, assignments, schedules, project due dates, GPA, and attendance. Now parents can even sign up for “push notifications” so they can be alerted when grades are recorded or when new assignments are uploaded.

This way, they know in realtime if their scholars need extra support. In addition, parents can be the first one to shower them with praise for “A-cing” an assignment. Say good-bye forever to the days when our parents had to wait for report cards or parentteacher conferences to get updates on student progress. Where is the line between being an engaged parent and a helicopter parent? An engaged parent lets her child, the school counselor, and teachers know that education is a priority in their family – and that she is a partner in the process. That means making an appointment with the school counselor to create a fouryear plan for the scholar and subsequent appointments to monitor the plan. It means giving every teacher her contact information and letting them know they can – and should – call when support is needed. The line is crossed when parents start doing the assignments and homework. I’ve seen it happen and it’s wholly inappropriate because they are denying their students a chance to learn while sending a very clear message to their teens: “I don’t believe you can do this.” An engaged parent is saying just the opposite: “I believe in you. I care. I am investing my time and energy because I know you are worth it.” Your positive engagement also tells educators: “I

appreciate your work and we’re in this together.” What if a teen doesn’t want his or her parents’ guidance? Even the moodiest and most distant teens have interests. Our job as educators and parents is to really listen to what excites young people, then introduce them to opportunities to explore those passions. Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations and judgement and allow scholars to discover their own path. Film director James Foley had originally planned on attending medical school before he took an acting class and discovered a new calling. Legendary musician Paul Simon was seriously considering law school before he decided to make his career in the arts. As parents, we need to assert that we are there to guide, facilitate, support, and love our children unconditionally. We need to keep asking questions, keeping our hearts and our ears open, even when it gets really hard. (And I know it does!) In your monthly parent coffees, you’ve mentioned that it’s important to have a four-year plan for your student. But you’ve also talked about being open to plans changing. Plans change all the time and that’s fine, but we

always need a strategy to get where we want. If a scholar thought she wanted to work in finance one day, then discovers she wants to become a veterinarian instead, that’s fine. The question remains the same: How can we support the scholar in achieving their goals? We must help her with job shadows in order to see the “real deal.” Providing meaningful internships and opportunities for real-world experience is the work of 21st century high schools. We need to personalize and adapt the learning experience to meet the changing plan. As innovative educators, we must continually ask, “How can we best support our scholars with the modification of the original plan?” When you talk about becoming “the homework house,” what do you mean? And how do you become to homework house if you work during the day? In a word: food. Even parents on a limited income tell me that the money they spend on popcorn and healthy drinks for weekend study sessions is the best investment they make. Their home is the “safe house” and they are able to get to know their teens’ peers. (They also hear things their children might not think to share with them. In these cases, they can chime in with feedback.

They can help students trouble-shoot issues. And if they eat a few handfuls of popcorn, that’s okay too.) What if your child absolutely hates high school? Let’s assume a few things. Parents have met with the guidance counselor at school and introduced themselves to their child’s teachers. Students have explored opportunities for clubs, activities, or sports. The family has made a good faith effort to make it work at a student’s current school, but it’s just not happening. It’s not too late to transfer. High school should be a place scholars look forward to being (at least) five days a week. If it’s not, it might just be the wrong fit. We see this all the time at e3. My phone has been ringing over the past few weeks with calls from parents who want to tour our campus and see if it might be better for their scholars. Thank you for your time. Is there anything else you’d like to add? Thank you. I welcome parents and scholars to visit us online or come in for a tour. If a culturally diverse, urban setting that values individuality, passion, and purpose is your kind of high school, then e3 just might be the right place for you.

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What a Roommate Saves You in 50 U.S. Cities By Derek Miller, CEPFÂ®

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enters in America’s largest cities are no strangers to roommates. As rent costs have risen so has the need for renters to group together to save on housing costs. But while rooming with a friend or an associate certainly has its financial benefits, it also comes with a loss of privacy and comfort that can be hard to value. Below, we take a stab at answering one side of that equation to find the places where having a roommate saves you the most money. To find the cities where a roommate can save you the most money we looked at data for 50 U.S. cities. Specifically, we looked at the average rent for a one-bedroom and compared it to the average rent for a two-bedroom. We then measured the difference between renting a one-bedroom alone and renting a two-bedroom with a roommate. Check out our data and methodology below to see where we got our data and how we put it together to create our final rankings.

Key Findings • California is still expensive – Surprise! Renting in California’s largest cities is pricey. Of the top 10 places where it pays off most to live with a roommate, five are in California — with Long Beach, California ranking just outside the top 10 in 11th. • The Midwest offers the lowest returns to finding a roomie – Five of the cities where it pays off least to have a roommate are in the Midwest. Across Midwest cities in the bottom 10, the average returns to having a roommate are just under $300 per month. But still, $300 is a fairly significant amount, especially for residents looking for save for a comfortable retirement or a mortgage.

With some of the highest housing costs in the nation, it comes as no surprise that renting with a roommate is San Francisco can be a big saver. According to our data, the average one-bedroom costs just over $3,300 per month while the average two-bedroom costs nearly $4,500 per month. That means the average renter can save nearly $1,100 per month by switching from renting alone to with a roommate. This makes San Francisco one of two places where the monthly benefit of a roommate surpasses $1,000.

2. New York, NY Our data shows that the average one-bedroom in the Big Apple goes for about $2,865 per month. That is equal to $34,378 per year. In order to comfortably afford that and not be housing cost-burdened you would need to earn over $114,500 per year. Most people, even New Yorkers, arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t earning sums that large. In order to significantly lighten the rent burden, find a roommate and

5. Oakland, CA

You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to live in San Francisco to feel the pain of rising rents. The whole Bay Area is afflicted Renting in Boston is becoming by it, including Oakland. The just as expensive as renting good news is that the pace in New York. The average of change seems to have one-bedroom here costs just slowed. Our data suggests under $2,700 per month, and rents in Oakland have stayed the average two-bedroom relatively flat over the past costs a bit more at just under year. However rents are still $3,400 per month. Moving in high and so the benefits to with a friend and inhabiting finding a roommate remain. a two-bedroom together We estimate that an average can save you about $990 renter could save $10,600 by per month. For even more switching from renting alone savings, moving into a onein a one-bedroom to with a bedroom with a significant single roommate in a twoother could save you $1,335 bedroom. per month.

3. Boston, MA

4. San Jose, CA The rent in San Jose is a bit more affordable than it is in Boston, meaning the potential savings from moving in with a roommate are slightly less. In total, we estimate that switching from a solitary existence in a onebedroom to teaming up with a roommate to take on a twobedroom rental could save $960 per month. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an extra $960 that residents can send to their financial advisor or to their savings account.

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1. San Francisco, CA

switch to a two-bedroom. We estimate it could save you just under $12,700 per year.

6. Los Angeles, CA Living in L.A. can be great. Year-round pleasant weather, great food and plenty of access to mother nature. However, moving to Los Angeles also means dealing with traffic and high rent costs. If you are moving to Los Angeles and don’t know any locals, you may be tempted to rent a one-bedroom. However, with an average price of $2,307, a one-bedroom apartment is out of reach for most. To live comfortably in the average one-bedroom apartment, we estimate you would need an income of nearly $92,300. On the other hand, we estimate you would only need an income of roughly $61,800 to live in the average two-bedroom apartment with a roommate.

San Diego. That’s an annual savings of $8,600 per year, a nice sum to build up a down payment or a retirement investment fund.

8. Washington, D.C.

$650 per month. So you have to ask yourself one question: is living alone worth $650 per month?

10. Seattle, WA

The Emerald City takes the last spot in this top 10. We rate the benefits of a roommate The nation’s capital is another at $625 per month. The place where it pays off to find average one-bedroom here a roommate. The average costs just under $2,000 per one-bedroom here costs month while half a share in just under $2,100 per month a two-bedroom costs $1,370 while half of a two-bedroom per month. To afford a onecosts $1,360. To afford a bedroom comfortably, we one-bedroom apartment estimate you’ll need an annual here comfortably, and not income $79,800. To afford the be housing cost-burdened, two-bedroom share and not you would need an annual be housing cost-burdened, income of roughly $83,000. we estimate you’ll need an That same figure for one share income of $54,785. of a two-bedroom is about $54,400. In total, we estimate one could save over $700 per month by living with a roommate.

One theme that emerges in this analysis is that renting in California is particularly expensive. Want to rent a onebedroom in San Diego and spend less than 30% of your income? Well, to do that we estimate you will need to have an income of about $73,800. By switching from a onebedroom to a two-bedroom with a roommate you would save $718 on average in

Miami is one of the most severely housing costburdened cities in the country. In total we estimate that nearly 25% of homeowners spend at least 50% of their income on housing. Renters who want to save some money and lighten the burden of rent costs should consider a roommate. We estimate that living with a roommate in Miami could save you about

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7. San Diego, CA 9. Miami, FL

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Data and Methodology In order to find the cities where a roommate saves you the most, we looked at data on 50 U.S. cities. We compared them across the following two metrics: â&#x20AC;˘ Average rent for a one-bedroom dwelling. Data comes from Rent Jungle and covers rent prices from July 2017 to July 2018. â&#x20AC;˘ Average rent for a two-bedroom dwelling. Data comes from Rent Jungle and covers rent prices from July 2017 to July 2018. We measured how much a person could save in each city by moving from a onebedroom apartment to a two-bedroom with a roommate. To do this, we compared the cost of the one-bedroom to half the cost of the twobedroom to account for living with a roommate. We ranked the cities according to the places where the savings were the largest.

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Tips for Managing Your Savings • Make sure you are actually saving – After you have made some room in your budget for savings, whether that means you cut on eating out or moved in with a roommate, make sure you actually put in somewhere and save it. It can be tempting to splurge on something nice once you built up a little savings. It’s a good idea to save your money where you can’t easily reach it, like a certificate of deposit (CD). • Make the most of your savings – The first step in any savings plan is to spend less. However once you start saving money the second step is to put it somewhere where it can earn money for you. Getting the best financial advice will help you earn the best returns. To find the best financial advice, you should talk to a local financial advisor who knows your specific preferences and goals. To find the best local financial advisors check out SmartAsset’s financial advisor matching tool. It will match you with up to three local financial advisors who fit your specific financial needs.

San Diego Nonprofit Welcomes African Civic Leaders in Immersive Learning Tour By Bennett Peji Vice President, Impact & Partnerships for Jacobs Center for Neighborhood Innovation

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African global leaders and San Diego nonprofits united last month to share best practices.

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The San Diego Diplomacy Council welcomed 22 nonprofit and civic leaders from across Africa to learn about community engagement and nonprofit organizations throughout San Diego. With the city’s nationally recognized nonprofit work, it was the ideal location to bring world leaders together. The two-way learning experience included touring local nonprofits, including Jacobs Center for Neighborhood Innovation.

The San Diego Diplomacy Council’s mission is to create professional, cultural and educational experiences that connect people and organizations to promote positive change in themselves, the community and around the world. As part of the U.S. State Department’s International Visitor Leadership Program, the Council planned the five-day San Diego tour – part of a four-city, threeweek program – for the African leaders.

The delegates were from Algeria, Burkina Faso, Central African Republic, Chad, Cote d’Ivoire, Guinea, Madagascar, Mali, Mauritania, Morocco, Niger, Rwanda, Sierra Leon, South Africa, South Sudan, Tanzania, Togo, Tunisia and Zimbabwe. In their respected countries, the diverse group leads causes regarding poverty, economic development and jobs, social affairs, women’s and children’s issues, community empowerment, human rights, environmental issues and cultural understanding.

A highlight of the trip was visiting Jacobs Center, a nonprofit catalyst for revitalization in Southeastern San Diego, ten minutes east of downtown, that identifies and fosters partnerships and develops amenities to create a resilient community.

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The educational experience included meeting Jacobs Center President and CEO Reginald Jones and staff to share thoughts on strengthening communities using community engagement and partnerships.

respective knowledge and wisdom, we create a more prosperous, peaceful and stable world.” Also based out of the Joe and Vi Jacobs Center building, the delegation met and dined with representatives from Kitchens for Good, highlighting the “Project “Being able to collaborate with Launch” program that prepares inspiring leaders is always humbling unemployed individuals to succeed and amazing,” said Jones. “By in the food-service industry. doing this, we can bring new ideas “I do similar work in South Africa,” to life and continue to build strong said South Africa’s Director of communities worldwide.” Mashup Community Development Reginald Eugene Botha. “Life skills The group also toured large-scale and knife skills are integral for graffiti art at Jacobs Center’s new the successful reintegration of Arts Park @ Chollas Creek and met incarcerated youth. Today I met artist Brisk and Writerz Blok Copeople whose dignity and integrity founder Jose Venegas to discuss have been restored.” the nationally recognized urban art program that helps youth channel Throughout the trip, local their artistic expression, while challenges resonated with the learning real-world skills. delegates and their own nonprofits, and they asked to stay in touch “We are impressed by Jacob to share solutions in the future. Center’s commitment to pursue Whether in San Diego, Africa authentic community-centered or anywhere around the world, development – done by and for global communication for positive the community,” said San Diego change can benefit and strengthen Diplomacy Council Program Director communities. Natalie Maroun. “When we share our

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Governor Signs Ten Weber Bills into Law

SACRAMENTO – Governor Edmund G. “Jerry” Brown recently signed the following bills authored by Assemblymember Shirley N. Weber (D-79) into law. More information on these bills is available at leginfo.legislature.ca.gov.

1O AB 1215: Mental Health Services Act.

This bill would require a county mental health program applying for state funding under the Mental Health Services Act to consider research of the brain and its physical and biochemical processes that may have broad applications for treating mental illness. AB 1894: College Student Hunger Relief. This legislation builds upon previous legislation AB 1747 (2016) and AB 214 (2017) by Assemblymember Weber to address the growing crisis of hunger among California’s college students. This bill would allow greater access to the CalFresh food assistance program on college campuses. AB 2133: Access to State Summary Criminal History Records. AB 2133 authorizes an attorney who is representing an individual accused of a criminal offense to access California’s Criminal Justice

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History Information database to obtain clients’ information on prior offenses. AB 2172: Census 2020 Facilitation. Will require the California Department of Corrections to provide the Citizens Redistricting Commission information on last known address of inmates, their race/ethnicity and the facility where they are incarcerated. AB 2289: Student Parental Leave. This bill establishes the right for a pregnant or parenting K-12 student to take eight weeks of parental leave, and requires schools to provide excused absences for students to take care of a sick child. AB 2458: Parcel Tax Exemption Transparency for Seniors & Disabled Homeowners.

that enforce gender specific practices. AB 2601: Sex Education in Charter Schools. This bill extends to charter schools the requirements of previous legislation, AB 329 (Weber, 2015), requiring school districts to ensure that all students in grades 7 to 12 receive updated and comprehensive healthy relationship, sexual health and sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention education. AB 2657: Student Restraint and Seclusion in Schools. Prohibits the use of restraint or seclusion on any student except when behavior poses a clear and present danger to the student or others. It also prohibits using for the purpose of coercion, discipline, convenience or retaliation, and requires data collection and reporting on the use of restraint and seclusion to the California Department of Education.

This bill creates a simple uniform process that will allow seniors and persons with disabilities to more easily AB 2988: Evidence find information on applying Retention: for a parcel tax exemption. AB 2988 provides that court AB 2550: Dignity for exhibits containing biological Incarcerated Women. material are retained exclusively in the control of AB 2550 seeks to improve the courts so that evidence the treatment of women remains available for postwho are incarcerated and conviction testing. reduce potential for trauma by implementing policies

D Did you know?

Assembly Member Shirley Nash Weber was elected in November of 2012 to represent California’s 79th Assembly District, which includes the cities of Bonita, Chula Vista, La Mesa, Lemon Grove, National City and San Diego.

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on the Board of the NAACP, YWCA, YMCA Scholarship Committee, Battered Women Services, United Way, San Diego Consortium and Private Industry Council, and many more.

Assembly Member Weber has lived in the 79th Assembly District for over 30 years. Her children attended public school in the district and she was elected to the Born to sharecroppers of Hope, Arkansas, school board. As a board member, and Shirley Weber has lived in California subsequent board president, she became since the age of 3. She attended UCLA, known for her advocacy for closing the where she received her BA, MA and PhD achievement gap and a higher standard by the age of 26. Prior to receiving her of excellence for all children. doctorate, she became a professor at San Diego State University (SDSU) at the age From 2005-2006, Dr. Weber hosted a of 23. Dr. Weber also taught at California popular weekly radio program weekly State University at Los Angeles and Los entitled, “It’s a New Day with Dr. Shirley Angeles City College before coming to Weber,” on KURS AM 1040. The program San Diego State University. was broadcast live throughout San Diego Dr. Weber chairs the Assembly Budget Subcommittee on Public Safety. She also serves as a member of the Assembly Standing Committees on Education, Higher Education, Elections, Budget, and Banking and Finance.

and internationally over the internet. In 2006, she aired her program live from Johannesburg, South Africa, sharing her students’ perspectives and those of local South Africans. Dr. Weber has lectured throughout the United States, Caribbean and Africa.

Prior to being elected to the Assembly, she served as the mayor’s appointee and Chair on the Citizens’ Equal Opportunity Commission. Dr. Weber has also served

Assembly Member Weber is the mother of two children and the widow of the late Honorable Daniel Weber, a California state judge.

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Largest BlackOwned Bank in the U.S. Launches Justice Visa ATM/Debit Card

OneUnited Bank, the largest Black-owned bank in the country, has released the Justice Visa ATM/ Debit Card featuring on its face a young Black woman wearing locks with her fist out in solidarity. The artwork was created by internationally

celebrated muralist Addonis Parker, and was designed to bring awareness to the Trump Administration’s immigration policies that affect countries like Jamaica, Haiti, Trinidad, Barbados, and all African nations.

The debit card was designed to bring attention to how much immigrants contribute to the American economy. In fact, a recent internal study by the Department of Health and Human Services found that immigrants brought in $63 billion more in government revenues than they cost the government. A 2017 paper by Evans and Fitzgerald, “The Economic and Social Outcomes of Refugees in the United States: Evidence from the ACS” found that immigrants pay $21,000 more in taxes than they receive in benefits. Immigrants are also linked to greater invention and innovation in the U.S.

Even more, according to a recent report by the National Foundation for American Policy, “immigrants have started more than half (44 of 87) of America’s startup companies valued at $1 billion dollars or more.” For many immigrants, business ownership is part of their cultural DNA. Recent studies, including “Achieving the American Dream: Cultural Distance, Cultural Diversity and Economic Performance,” show that immigrants overcome cultural differences and achieve economic success over time, especially in environments that are open to diversity and ready to accept their talents.

Supporting the community OneUnited Bank has long been a supporter of social issues that affect the African American community. They are supporters of Black Lives Matter, the #BlackMoneyMatters movement, and also sponsor events such as the upcoming We Buy Black convention in Atlanta, GA in November 2018. For more details about their bank and/or their new Visa debit card, visit https://www.oneunited. com/meet-justice/

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The motivation behind the card

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High School Success Tips from Dr. Helen Griffith of e3Civic High