July/August
Background by Boyde F. (TX) B&P graphic by Howard B. (GA)
By Aaron Renier
Black & Pink celebrates Haitian independence— Haitian slave revolt began August 22, 1791
Volume 8, Issue 6
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A message from Jason Dear friends, I hope this note finds you as well as possible. I have been receiving letters from some people that the heat is unbearable, especially in some of the southern states. I’m hearing from some folks that the air conditioning isn’t on and there are no windows to open. We have sent a few advocacy letters and other organizations are fighting to deal with this. I send love and cooling thoughts to everyone as we keep fighting to end these dehumanizing and inhumane practices. As I write you this letter today, I am dealing with some serious pain from a pinched nerve. The pain goes from my neck down my right arm and up to the tip of my middle finger. I’m typing this, but I can’t really feel half the fingers on my right hand. It’s amazing how painful it all is. It feels like my arm is on fire, and it feels like my neck is breaking under my skull. All of this pain is happening, but no one can see it. My neck and arm are not swollen. There is no gaping wound. The pain is severe, but the pain is invisible. The pain is real, it is distracting, it is taking over major parts of my body, but no one can see it. When I look down at my arm I can’t see the pain I feel, but I know it is there. Just because I can’t see the pain, that does not mean it isn’t there. We often talk about the more visible forms of pain and violence that impact our community. We are very clear about the harms caused by physical and sexual violence. We
often read stories from one another about this harm and pain. Prison staff also have a requirement to deal with some of the visible pain, they may not do it well, but they are technically required to do something. The constant pain that is often caused by incarceration, the pain that can’t be seen, goes ignored far too often. What would it look like if we took our pain more seriously? What would it look like if we believed one another when we talked about our invisible pain? What would change if we truly worked to end suffering? When I think about the role of Black & Pink in the world, I often think that our job is to figure out ways to reduce suffering. As we do our work to reduce suffering, we always do it with attention to the systems that are causing it. We do not want to reduce some suffering by giving more power to a system that will cause more suffering in other ways. For instance, we are currently working on efforts to end cash bail. We do not want our people to sit in jail waiting for their case. We also do not want everyone to be put on gps tracking bracelets and then turn entire communities, mostly poor communities and communities of color, into open air jails. We want to reduce the suffering by getting people out of jail, but we must be responsible, we cannot support efforts that quietly expand the reach of the police state. How do we both end suffering immediately and also not extend suffering in the long term? This is one of the toughest questions
we have to ask as abolitionists. How do you manage your pain? Prisons thrive on pain; it is how they maintain their power. Prisons are like living monsters who use pain as their oxygen. Our society seems so attached to continue feeling these monsters and keeping them alive. It is our responsibility to figure out ways to take the tools of suffering and pain away from the system so that prisons
Prisons are like living monsters who use pain as their oxygen. Our society seems so attached to continue feeling these monsters and keeping them alive. It is our responsibility to figure out ways to take the tools of suffering and pain away from the system so that prisons will wither and die. will wither and die. How do you think we should do this? What are you doing now that is helping to take the pain away? Whatever it is, let us keep doing this work together, let us become pallbearers and usher forth the death of this system that causes so much pain. We do all of this work knowing that once there were no prisons, that day will come again. In loving solidarity,
Jason
Share your artwork with the B&P community! see mailing instructions on page 30
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In This Issue News you can use: Special to Black & Pink: Can’t Afford Housing? Life Sentence in Prison pages 5-7 B&P Member Wins Lawsuit in RI—Prisoners and Publications Win, Too pages 8-9 Poetry from the P.A.C.E. prisoner-run LGBT Creativity Group at California Medical Facility (Vacaville, CA) pages 10-13
Black & Pink family: Letters pages 14-29 Poetry pages 14, 20-23, 26, 28-29 Submit to Black & Pink! page 30
Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (617) 519-4387. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life. Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.
July/August 2017 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!
Give us a call! (617) 519-4387 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST
We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding. Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper. The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts. Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our
Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
blackandpink.org August 2017 (United States)
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August 2017
Sun
30
Mon World Day against Trafficking in Persons
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Tue
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Wed Tisha B'Av
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Thu
Fri
Sat
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Youth 12 International Day
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World Friendship Day
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Indigenous 9 World Peoples’ Day
of Fidel 13 Birthday Castro (1926), leader
14 India becomes
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slave 21 Black uprising
revolt begins 22 Slave Haitian Revolution
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Till lynched in 28 Emmett 29 International Mississippi (1955) Day against
in Cuban revolution
independent from Britain (1947)
begins in Santo Domingo, DR (1791)
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(1791)
Nuclear Tests
of Marcus 17 Birthday Garvey (1887), Black
Amendment 18 19th ratified (1920),
Humanitarian 19 World Day
Day for Slave 23 World Trade Abolition
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first circulates 25 FBI memo to "disrupt"
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Day of Victims 30 World of Enforced
31 International Overdose Awareness
nationalist
Italian immigrant anarchists Sacco & Vanzetti executed (1927)
Disappearance
permitted women to vote
Black Liberation groups, starting "COINTELPRO" program (1967)
Day
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2 Eid al-Adha
Can’t Afford Housing? Life Sentence in Prison By Daiana Griffith Ozuna Black & Pink Intern, Jul. 7, 2017 In an effort to defend and uphold their and thousands of others’ U.S. Constitutional rights, Christopher Parker brought a complaint against Lisa Madigan in her capacity as the Attorney General of Illinois for creating a Natural Life sentence in prison for them, because they are too poor to provide housing for their Mandatory Supervised Release (MSR) upon the completion of their court ordered sentence. As an Attorney General, Madigan is responsible for executing and administering the laws of the State of Illinois and
is charged with advising state’s attorneys throughout the state. Parker claims that their, and thousands of others’, Eighth and Fourteenth Amendment Constitutional rights are being violated by the imposition of restrictive MSR policies for people convicted for sex offenses which include a clause called “Violation at the Door.” The “Violation at the Door” policy or “Turnaround Policy” is “a legal fiction wherein it is imagined that the offender is released from custody, placed on MSR, but when he leaves the institution he is in violation of his supervision terms and he is immediately placed back in custody. In reality, the person simply remains
incarcerated until a prerequisite is satisfied.” In the case of Parker, this means that they cannot be released
“[A]n increasing number of ... prisoners remain incarcerated [after serving their sentence] because they cannot comply with the ludicrous housing conditions required for their release.” from prison under Mandatory Supervised Release because as soon as
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July/August 2017
Can’t Afford Housing? Life in Prison continued from page 5 they are released they would be in violation of their supervision as they would not have appropriate housing conditions, so instead they are simply kept in prison indefinitely. Some of the housing restrictions that apply to people who are convicted of a sex offense include: not being allowed to live nearby parks, schools, or daycares; not being allowed to live in a condominium or apartment or trailer where another person on the registry lives, with the exception of a halfway house (halfway houses in Illinois do not accept people convicted of sex offenses); not being allowed to serve their MSR at any host site where any resident has a computer or smartphone with access to the Internet; and some individuals cannot live within 500 feet of their victims. Research, however, shows that there is no evidence that residency restrictions reduce recidivism, nor is there any correlation between a registrant’s proximity to children and their offenses. Most importantly, 90% of sexual abuse victims know their abuser, meaning the person who harmed them is someone closely related, which makes the myriad of housing restrictions pointless as the person with a sex offense conviction will not know every kid in every daycare, school, or park in proximity to their residence. The Eighth Amendment of the Constitution states that “cruel or unusual punishment” should not be inflicted on anyone. But the case of Parker clearly presents an instance of cruel and unusual punishment as their original ordered sentence is being extended without due pro-
cess, which also directly violates the Fourteenth Amendment that guarantees due process for everyone. Additionally, on February 1, 1978,
Illinois introduced a law which created the Mandatory Supervised Release term and the Prisoner Review Board to abolish indeterminate
Graphic by Sam Hart / Injustice Watch. Data courtesy of the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services and the city of Chicago. Note: Scale of circles on map does not represent the 500-foot distance the law requires between sex offenders’ residences and these institutions.
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sentences as well as the Parole and of discretion is not subject to the re- in state history.” These facts and Pardon Board. This law, however, is strictions of the clause. As seen in statements in full contradiction go rendered useless in cases like Park- the case of Neville, the DOC can get on to show that the real purpose of er’s and thousand of others’ classi- away with legal technicalities creat- these restrictive punitive laws is not fied by the criminal legal system as ing loopholes to claim that punish- to help people who committed sex “sex offenders” because they end up ment is not increased by keeping offenses lead a “law-abiding” life getting indeterminate sentences un- prisoners from being released on that they are never given the chance der their MSR term served in prison MSR, but the truth is that people’s, to live in the first place, nor to keep because they cannot find housing. although limited, freedom outside the communities safer, but rather to There is an increasing number of bars is being taken away without expand the prison industrial comcases of prisoners who, after serving due process. plex that profits off the misery and their original ordered sentence in In 2005, the Illinois legisla- torture of individuals rendered secprison, remain incarcerated because ture introduced laws that tightened ond-class citizens for life. they cannot comply with the ludi- the restrictions and supervision of Sexual abuse should be treated as crous housing conditions required “most dangerous” sex offenders a public health problem that focuses for their release. Currently, Illinois which were deemed “necessary on the healing and reparation of the state officials hold approximately to assist the subjects in leading a victims/survivors and the treatment, 1,250 inmates beyond their release law-abiding life.” These restrictive healing, and reintegration of those dates every year bewho committed a cause they cannot sexual offense. Refind housing.For exsearch indicates ample, in a similar “Sexual abuse should be treated as that cognitive-becase in 2007, Rich- a public health problem that focuses havioral treatment ard Neville, who is more effective in on the healing and reparation of the was also placed on reducing recidivism the sex offender victims/survivors and the treatment, than criminal sancregistry, was forced healing, and reintegration of those who tions that simply to spend more time isolate individuals. in prison because committed a sexual offense.” Effective therahe could not find py and therapeutic approved housing techniques for peofor his electronic monitoring for his laws, however, are not helping to re- ple who committed a sex offense release under supervision. Neville duce sexual violence and these laws can help have improved outcomes argued that the IDOC’s decision to are preventing the release of prison- in reducing harm in people’s lives keep him imprisoned because he ers who dutifully completed their and our communities. Our current could not comply with the MSR re- sentence taking away their chance system is not designed to address lease conditions increased his sen- of having a life in freedom at all. harm or end violence, instead it is tence in direct violation of the ex- On July 10, 2005, the Office of the focused on endless punishment and post facto provisions of the state of Governor News in Illinois released retribution. Much work is needIllinois and the United States which a statement where Governor Blago- ed, and addressing the injustice of prohibits the retroactive applica- jevich praised the efforts of Attor- Mandatory Supervised Release is tion of laws that were not in place ney General Madigan for helping just one piece. How can we expect during the sentencing of a person. safeguard Illinois communities people to follow the laws when the The trial court dismissed Neville’s from people convicted of sex of- legal system itself is not abiding by claim and argued that the DOC’s fenses and announced that through the law and is violating prisoners’ decision to keep him imprisoned the Governor’s plan, the IDOC constitutional rights? The Mandatoduring his MSR did not qualify as “has been able to hire more parole ry Supervised Release requirements increased punishment because the agents than ever before, and launch must end if we are to secure greater decision did not violate the ex-post the state’s most aggressive parole justice and healing for communities facto clauses as the Board’s exercise sex offender surveillance program moving forward.
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B&P Member Wins Lawsuit in RI— Prisoners and Publications Win, Too Hi Jason, Monica, our awesome new newspaper editors, and all, I’m writing to celebrate a victory with you all! This past May, one of our active local inside members here in RI, Sincere, won an outof-court settlement to a lawsuit about a discriminatory publications-ban policy that was blocking Black & Pink, among other materials. Below is Sincere’s letter to the family. I’ve also attached the legal settlement itself [see facing page] in case you are interested. Much love, MJ Robinson Dear Black & Pink, Hello, this here is Sincere, writing to Black & Pink newsletter once again from Rhode Island while wishing & hoping that all people that are part of the LBGTQ community and all people being oppressed are able to find peace, love, unity, & healing. This here letter is to tell people about the changes that I recently made inside these walls. Well, to start off with, I have been incarcerated for 13 ½ years & count-
ing. I came to prison at 17 years old. Out of the 13 ½ years I been here I spent close to 8 years in some form of solitary confinement (note: 7 years, 325 days to be exact). While in solitary, I refused to sit back & deteriorate my mind by sitting in a cell for 23 hours a day. I was eager to self teach myself multiple things like the law, prison policy, religion, etc. I then ran into a roadblock when the prison placed an all out list of publications to be banned. I believed this ban was to stop the self-education of people like myself—a young, black, gay, self-conscious man. The things this prison was trying to ban were all materials for LGBTQ people, a lot of Islamic stuff, Black historical books, anything written by the author Robert Greene, magazines for urban people, etc. So, as a man who had the will to learn, I had to file a lawsuit on this prison. I challenged the fact that these people, by stopping me from certain reading material that is educational to me & my history & material pertaining to my lifestyle as a gay man, they were violating my rights as well as interfering with my rehabilitation. I argued equal protection when people are allowed to order material on things such as Hitler and Nazi germany and books on the mafia and Hell’s Angels, but I can’t order a book on Malcolm X or George Jackson and I couldn’t get Black & Pink or magazines like F.E.D.’s and Don Diva. All in all, I had a pretty good argument. The end result with my lawsuit was this: the RI D.O.C. had to write a new policy for all mail and publi-
cations. They started a three person group called P.R.C.—Publication Review Committee and one of these people is a college professor. This group handles all publications sent to the DOC and makes it harder to ban things. The banned publication list I told you about, well, they had to rip it up and get rid of it. So, now, these same publications they once banned are now allowed including Black & Pink. Last but not least, they can no longer ban things that are on the topic of LGBTQ people, religion, five percenters, or any Black literature.
“The end result with my lawsuit was this: ... they can no longer ban [publications] on the topic of LGBTQ people, religion, five percenters, or any Black literature.” I feel good that I was able to make some type of change here in prison. I am currently working on yet another lawsuit but this one is on solitary confinement and mental health. I will be sure to keep my Black & Pink fam updated on my progress. Once I go home I plan on working with Black & Pink [Providence “free world” chapter] and hopefully be some kind of help. I am going to be standing shoulder to shoulder fighting alongside the struggle. My main fight will be to abolish every prison, by all means. Peace –n- Love. Always, Sincere
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Editors note: The following pages of poetry come from P.A.C.E. (Positive Action Creates Everything), a prisonerrun LGBT Creativity Group at California Medical Facility, a prison in Vacaville, CA. The P.A.C.E. group’s statement of purpose is on the right.
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Positive Actions Create Everything (P.A.C.E.) PURPOSE The purpose of having an LGBT Creativity Group is based solely on the LGBT population here at CMF to be productive and creative toward helping the outside LGBT society and to play an active role in advocating for LGBT rights. There are many outside LGBT publications that would appreciate the effort of those on the inside that have changed their lives to give insight on how not to make the wrong choices in life. This would be helpful for keeping the inside LGBT connected with the outside, so we can be more productive now and en released back into the community. The group would meet weekly and would brainstorm on ideas on how to reach out to the LGBT community on the outside. Again this is a creativity group, so anyone and everyone would be responsible to contribute their creative expression and their works of wisdom or art. As an example of what the group would create: The word Equality. What does Equality look like in an essay, poem or a piece. Again, each member would be responsible for creating a piece on the subject chosen by the group. This would be the subject of the week or month, depending on how long it takes to create the members pieces. And each week or month a new project would be created that focuses on a new topic.
The pieces from the group would then be sent to the many LGBT centers throughout the United States as well as sent to LGBT publications such a Stiletto, Ultra Violet, Hearts on a Wire, Black & Pink, and Flying Over the Walls. Also, the pieces would be sent to other publications to support them and their readers, such as Prison Health News, The Fire Inside, The Beat Within, The Sun Magazine and Prison Radio which are all allowed by CDCR. REQUIREMENTS Each person interested in the LGBT Creative Group would be given an interview to find out what form of creativity they could bring to the group. The interviews would be done by the groups’ facilitator and by the Transgender Chairperson L. Strawn who would co-facilitate the group. Again, this is a working creative group so any member of the LGBT community that is interested must actively participate each week. The requirements of the inside population would be to create letters of supports and encouragement to LGBT g ups on the outside. That would include poems, or artwork to give strength and support and to show that no matter how challenging life can be, we as the inside group show our support for the outside LGBT community.
Sex Law and Policy Center is a nonprofit looking to help you change your life. We work with people on the registry for sex crimes and provide support as you transition home. If you are in need of assistance or support, reach out to us. We’d love to hear from you! Sex Law and Policy Center 507 Jersey Avenue, Apt. 2 Jersey City, NJ 07302 Note: We are not lawyers or a law firm and we do not provide legal advice. We recommend you consult a lawyer or other appropriate professional if you want legal advice.
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July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
Love Cure
Yours
Love has no limits I can feel your pain when you single me out It transcends skin, flesh and gender. you say you love me, I hear doubt Do not be defined by someone’s a twisted fate brought me into your world hatred, fears and stereotypes. I’m your get rich quick scheme, your diamond and pearls you feel my pain as you oppress me strongly Live, and love well! Stand on the shoulders “how can you be me” you whispered softly of those who took the stares my tears are yours a splitin image with force who marched the marches this lil girl crying is honestly yours walked the walk. Daring to be different, unconventional and free let your love fly Higher than my eye can see Love, true love is the world’s only cure to the disease of shame and hatred’s fame.
we both feel what is called love and happiness how can I show you what I can’t resist you turnt up the pressure, I came out a gem Striving and shining deeply within a diamond in the rough not manufactured or buffed my smile is yours a splitin image with force from your daughter with love your splitin image with force By Diamond
By Darren S. Who Bullied You? tell me—who was it that slapped you into me did your cheeks burn when you cried or did you try to fight Fling your soft fists toward a sea of tear-blurred faces or did you hide inside yourself tucked safe and silent within a meek and compliant shell. Who knocked you into me? Propelled like a reflex effect to slam your foot on my neck I wonder—did you expect to have to protect yourself every moment you drew breath did you learn to accept it. Did you begin to believe your name was “Fuckin Faggot” Did you soul weep when
you looked in a mirror for fear that what they said would really appear? Did you learn to conceal those elements of yourself that made life real that made it worthwhile to feel did you warm your hands in an opiate heat sleep dreamless beneath the electric mat of a painless chemical blanket who shoved you into me pushed me, thin and bleeding into the arms of men who shopped for boys like choosing cuts of meat creeping in rented cars, tempting with whisp’rd promises of bliss with a methamphetamine kiss Here—take this, Relax, I’ll
Do the rest—it’s best if I don’t look in the mirror as I pass It’s not me in the glass It’s not me in the glass it’s raining inside, my eyes leak scenes from Christmas dreams put to rest—perhaps it’s best Life is not a test I’m out of breath. Whoever punched you into me— Thank them For making me me. by Cole B.
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Why Bully? Is it because you feel you need control, or have thoughts that leave you discontent, or the others who caused you deep regret? He pushed you, and you pushed me, it’s because you lack integrity… Did you know the things you say to me, are mere reflections of yourself? To hurt with words to elevate self, doesn’t build up or edify, it causes hurt and some have died. Step back and watch the pain you inflict, and know that you are not exempt. Show love in all the things you do, and know that God is watching you. By Charles T.
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Look at me now… You looked at me and saw an opportunity to make yourself seem BIG. You punked me around and called me names. You made me feel smaller than small. Whether your intentions were to hurt me or not, You left more than just pain, you scarred me for life. But what you didn’t know, was that those scars weren’t scars at all… you uncovered beauty marks, beauty marks that I didn’t even know were hidden underneath my mask. You pushed me to accept who I really was. You allowed me to manifest my true colors. You helped me to love myself for who I really am. So for all of that, Thank you, You Big O’ Bully! Today I stand here feeling taller than tall. I went high when you stayed low. Look at me now… You can’t! By Fernando B.
It Has Begun Until I became strong A bully could always get me to become angry. Until I became strong I always thought that Anger was my strength. But as a human being I’ve found that the strength in me is in the depth of me. Standing along has made me strong. Standing back up after I have failed. My strength is in everyday returning to who I am—how I am—and why I am. My only weakness is how much I love But a bully be damned, in my circle you shall never prevail… never again.
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Love Is Real Hate Is Fake
Gay or a Lesbian Bisexual or Trans Queers etcetera should take a stand I'm just so young but I know a lot I use my tongue to preach for all you can't have love and still have hate cuz what it does is makes you fake make the right choice or pick the other fake lasts so long but reals forever LGBTQ or not you’re still unique you’re still a person who breathes like me racism discrimination violence is Evil starving for domination nonna that is real anyways I say you should treat days like it’s your last let’s make a change ignore the pain abuse and strain Fight it strong Don't ever brake Love is real HATE IS FAKE
Princess HoneyBee (NV)
July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
Dear B+P fam,
This is Emily Rayne Vladimir S everus. I’m a TransGender male to female. I’m serving time in the not so lovely state of Oklahoma “ODOC.” I’m fighting for my hormones as of today I got a copy of the “Blanket Policy” that states I have to be on “hrt” hormone replacement therapy prior to incarceration. In fact, as of today I looked up a previous stated case 851.F.Supp.2D at 250 I went to the 9t181 and found a key for Transexuals and something you can find it under key 14 it’s still the same case: Kesilek V. Maloney. It’s talking about the Blanket Policy. This is something that needs to be dealt with. When is it okay to sit there and deny treatment because your DOC policy says prior to incarceration? Let me give you a little history why I wasn’t on them prior to incarceration from the last time I was told to have GID classification. You have to live as the assigned birth no less than 2 years than you got to live as your preferred gender no less than 2 years. You also have to undergo counseling for x amount of years. I hid myself even though I attempted suicide multiple times for 23 years. In 2013-2015 I lived as a female as best as I could but one thing stopped me as money kept me from applying hormones and also I was still undergoing counseling at the time of my arrest. It wasn’t until June 2014 I got the diagnosis then I got it confirmed by a doctor here in DOC. The one thing still remains. You wouldn’t deny insulin to a diabetic, would you? No but I’ve heard of one case they did. The Blanket Policy for ODOC needs to
end. Here’s the next problem I have no money to take it to courts in fact the previous Assistant Warden threatened to “ship” us off the yard if we even thought about putting in paper work. I’m one of the many that decides to go ahead and put ink into pen and paper and help in justice for transsexual/transgenders in Oklahoma Dept. of Corrections. Today, we as humans, need to quit being afraid and come out of hiding. Even though my name hasn’t changed due to a S.O. bill negating sex offenders to getting name changes, Nov. 2014 we need to be vigilant. My boy name at birth is Jon Matthew McDaniel Crowell and when I go through this change I can’t allow the state to keep me as Jon Matthew McDaniel Crowell as a girl/woman. We need to fight the Oklahoma Justice System and keep our rights because even though Grays are our clothing we are humans. I would like to thank my sister Isabella for the information. I’ve been receiving B+P for 2 months now and even though mental and emotional pain it causes me I’m a little joyed that she put it in there. If it wasn’t for Isabella I wouldn’t have went to the law library to check on the case. I’m hoping to dispute a case in 10th circuit court in Denver, Colorado. For a civil suit on this case I got maybe 2 years max. For my first time of writing the Black and Pink I think I did okay on informing the family about the "ODOC" Oklahoma Dept. of Corrections Policy. w/ Love,
Emily S. (OK)
Volume 8, Issue 6
Greetings -
Just FYI Black & Pink is making a difference in the lives of oppressed people who happen to be incarcerated in the state of Illinois. The Chicago chapter is one to be truly proud of. They were instrumental in me being transferred here to Dixon C.C., which has a mental health unit. They made calls - they utilized social media - and they were RELENTLESS & FIERCE. I think
Dear Black and Pink,
I am overcome with so many emotions each time I receive a newspaper. I enjoy your stories and have to read every line (front to back) in one sitting. I am writing today in reference to the February and March issue. I hope my words find a place where they can be seen and headed. I have been in N.C. DPS for four years and have eight remaining. Being housed at facilities in the "Mountains of North Carolina" (The Bible Belt) I learned very quickly what I was dealing with when it comes to staff. We all have a voice and a way to advocate for ourselves and I don't believe these methods are used enough. To Jack, A.Z. who reports negligence and retaliation by staff, assault by staff, deprivation of property, hygiene, medical treatment, sanitary food and living environments, etc. - As Joshua, LA-PA touched on, policy is key. I know you think you can't fight fists with paper and ink, but you can! Policy and procedure manuals can be purchased, printed online and requested via your case
blackandpink.org
back to the B&P of old & I smile. :) Jason - You're a visionary & an icon. It’s a privilege to still be reppin’ B&P all these years later. I saw it go from a little newsletter mailed in a standard sized envelope to this full-fledged stuffed & edifying newsletter/magazine. This IS a movement. :)
manager. I'm certain the AZDPS has a website and an address is likely on your ID card. Search out the necessary policy in Jack's case (conditions of confinement), draft a strong grievance and watch it work. Humane living conditions are a constitutional right. Since beginning grievance procedure and reporting to regional and main DPS offices, I have seen my treatment go from shit to sugar. You can't always fight on location, sometimes you have to always work from the outside in. - Journal names, times, dates, location, room number, bed numbers, officer ranks, etc. Every detail possible and list every violation you witnessed. Cameras and eyes are your best friends. - This info is for everyone and it behooves us to utilize it. To Dale, W.V. - Your story about church gave me a much needed laugh! That sounds like something I would do, and it's that type of ambition we all need. – Dale, your issues with staff and those other inmates shouldn't be ignored. You've got to go above the basic officers and Sgt's if you really need relief. Your life is at risk! Write a letter to
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I will continue to lend my voice, experiences & talents to advancing the cause of justice, equality, and dignity. Thanks and remember - U are making a difference. I love my B& P family!!!! w/ love - in solidarity -
Patrice (IL)
the Superintendent, the Regional Director, the Director of Prisons, etc. Share your concerns and ask for a transfer. Again the more detailed information and proof - the better! I believe we could all take a hint from Kaspen, T.X. when it comes to standing up for ourselves. Ladies, and gentlemen we have more rights as open homosexuals than that of a closeted one. Use it to your advantage. So please become more aware of grievance procedure, contacts and organizations in your state. Study your rights as a citizen and a human being - then settle for nothing less. "Remember everyone has a boss," so climb the chain of command if you must. Just let your voice be heard, and you will see results, I promise. I look forward to advocating for the LGBTQ incarcerated community when I am released in 2024. Until then try to advocate for yourselves. I love and support you all. Shalom V'ahava
Jai (NC)
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Dear Black & Pink Family Hello y’all, this is Bobbie!
I'd like to speak about the word/term solidarity. What is solidarity anyways? Solidarity is defined as: a feeling of unity between people who have the same interests, goals, etc. -Merriam Webster's Advanced Learner's Dictionary. With this understanding can one say or write "in solidarity" when their ways and actions do not reflect "a feeling of unity"? Or feel the affects of "a feeling of unity"? If one is in the closet and is looking for advice on how to come out the closetyet, witnesses those who have the same interests, goals, etc being oppressed, abused, beaten down, neglected, made fun of, raped etc. and yet sits by doing nothing for fear of reprisal and still has the audacity to seek advice, are they in solidarity? Are those of us who are openly LGBTQ and turn their backs on our LGBTQ family/community for fear of reprisal or being ostracized from privileged social groups or due to white supremacist ideology, religious intolerance, class issues i.e., immigration, unemployment, homelessness, drug addiction, transgender murders, prison, medical care and hunger, and/or are transphobic (yes, this sad reality exist in the LGBTQ community) are they "in solidarity"? Think twice before you reply and look yourself in the mirror when you do. Family, we must understand solidarity is not only a catch phrase or only meant to be manifested against acts of
July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
physical oppression, but also to be "in solidarity" with our community/family emotionally, socially, and economically. Solidarity as defined above connotes unity, oneness and strength. There is strength in numbers, in our oneness, when we stand "in solidarity" in the face of all oppressive forces tangible (physical/economic) or intangible (social/emotional). So if you are one of the LGBTQ who is open or in the closet and fears the enemy oppressor (who is anyone seeking to do you mental or physical harm), fears speaking truth to power, fears being themselves and fears defending those who receive the same oppression as you do, struggles as you do cause they are the people who have the same interests, goals, etc. and won't stand unified, then no, you are not in solidarity! Solidarity is not just some meaningless word to be thrown around. As stated before in solidarity there is unification so instead of just standing idly by fearing and/or reflecting the hate LGBTQ people receive and project onto each other due to warped ideology and miseducation- stand "in solidarity" and conquer the fears, hatred, and the ways of the oppressors together! In solidarity we can love, build, win, rise and live together as if we must meet a demise then at least we do it "in solidarity!" If we cannot overcome our daily afflictions/struggles that plague the LGBTQ community from the lowest to the highest of class issues, together in solidarity then laws like marriage equality are only for the few- and the naught- because the rest of the downtrodden of our LGBTQ
community cannot and will not enjoy these small victories because on every front we are forgotten left behind and marginalized by our own LGBTQ community, we have no voice, therefore we are not in solidarity! Marriage is great but what’s it really for? Tax breaks and incentives or the institution of new ideals of marriage outside the oppressive religious practices that tell one who they can love and seek union with and who they can't. Let us all remember that it was also the drug addict, prisoners, the homeless, the unemployed, black and brown folks who fight and fought for our human rights as LGBTQ and marriage equality in solidarity with whites, the middle class and elites of our community (though we are never made the face of our struggle due to white supremacist ideological views within the LGBTQ community as a whole- yes, it’s there too.) So now, do your part and stand "in solidarity" with the poor and the downtrodden of our LGBTQ community... whether, black, brown, white, in prison or in the free world, people are dying. And are being forgotten, locked away, raped etc. and that’s not "in solidarity!" The only thing "in solidarity" is that we're all getting screwed with no vaseline! So let us practice what we preach and stand- "in solidarity"!!! Love always,
Bobbie
P.S. This letter is not an individual attack but a critique on our community worldwide!
Volume 8, Issue 6
Dear Black and Pink family,
This is my first time to sit down and write a letter to you. Yet I have been reading your paper for a while now. I have been in prison now for 16 years and I am now soon to be released on parole. I won't lie, I am happy, nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. I know the world has changed a lot. The last time I was out, gas was .99¢. That should say a lot. 16 years in a Texas prison is not easy. Doing time in prison no matter where you're at is hard. It's harder on those of us who are Gay, Bi, Lesbian or other sexual orientation. LGBTQ are a family and should be there for each other. I was, but I seen a lot of fighting with each other and petty stuff all because of Jealousy. Time is harder for us cause a lot of others see us as
Dear Black and Pink, Hello fam!
This is Jay of course. Well, I just wanted to say a few words to everybody out there across the country right now who's either in solitary, segregation, or doesn't feel the place they don't want to be in. Especially to those in the Texas penal system, because in TDCJ I know how it feels all the oppression, discrimination and those who feel who can't do a damn thing about it. I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I made a powerful decision putting my foot down and stop dealing with other people. I've decided to grow a pair and fight for what I believe in and the pride I have of being gay. I'm 21 years old and I'm getting too old for all the hate
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outcast and treat us bad just because of our sexual preference. Now me I don't care what people say or think about me. Not now anyways, but I know others do. Why? Let them say what they want, but don't let them change you into something you're not. Be you. Look out for others in our LGBTQ family and be the support that some of them need. It don't have to be financial. Most of us want emotional support, someone to talk to when we are down. Me, I'm a better writer and listener than a talker. I can keep things bottled up. I know it isn't good, but I always found someone I could talk to. To me a relationship is more than sex. I want the companionship and feeling of acceptance and love from my other half. The rest will come naturally.
I've been told that I'm a good dude with a huge heart. I tend to get along with everybody. I like to see people happy. That's me that's how I am. I'm gonna be home in the next couple months and there are many that I am gonna miss. So to those who read this paper that know me I wish you the best and hope to see you out there in the world one day soon. Before I go I want to say to Ashley. You are a beautiful person and I hated to hear what you went through. I'm glad that everything pretty much worked out for you, Don't let anyone change who you are. Know that you are thought about and are in my prayers. Everyone in the LGBTQ family is in my prayers.
and I still show love to my enemies. There's a song you should listen. It's "Nirva-Brother." When I heard it, it spoke to me about Brotherly love and love that God gives despite of anything we all have. Also, "KJ52 - Island of Misfit Toys" says about God loves us even if you're gay. He said he wanted to make a song for those who didn't fit in, To think god hates gays but no He loves everyone the same.
because one day, God will come and He will show us His love and created a new world where all the LGBT will freely show love. That's what I believe.
Nobody knows this but God created everything to fall into place even the LGBT community. He made us to show and be an example of love. We have love to everyone even if we hide hate in our hearts. I feel like I hate the person in front of me but I don't. I dislike the person's action of what they do. Don't worry
Much love, Always,
James A.K.A. Shaggy (TX)
I read the newspaper and I feel and find comfort in keepin' up with the family. This is where I found to where I really belong. I've received also the Spanish version and I was amazed how the staff pulled it all together. Thanks to you for reachin' the Hispanic community. I just want to say keep your head up high and not to be afraid. Fight if you have to. That's what I'm doing. Are you? I love you all and stay strong! Love and in solidarity,
Jay L (TX)
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Black & Pink,
Hello Family and friends. Well Chelsea Rose here with yet another story to share with you all. Just to bring you all up to speed here a rough scene through; In the late year of 2015 the month was October, I had done two things that changed my own life forever. In July my now X-lover had told me to get tested.. So I did and July 29, 2015 my life changed.. I took that test C.I.D sent my lab work in and it come back H.I.V positive. I was retested and again October 13, 2015 again Positive H.I.V. Well at this time I done answered to an Echo request to seek out all Transgenders, Transexuals. I sent in my I-60 to Safe Prisons Management on that Unit and a few months later I was shipped on a Transfer due to being a Transgender. I was shipped and split from my lover. I am now on a new Unit and again due to my transfer due to being a Transgender. I am now on a unit across from where I started my time in Texas and am awaiting a trip to Galveston, TX to see a Transgender Specialist to start my Female Hormone Therapy Treatment yet another life Changer that I've been fighting for now for ten years. Now you are up to speed. My story starts now!! I've been H.I.V positive now for one year and I don't hide my status at all. Well there are a few boys on my Unit that want to be with me just b/c I'm sick, then there are others that I was with that used that same reason to walk away from me. So to say the least I am just a little nervous to Commit to any one at all. Well there is this guy on my unit got my full attention and I fell in love with him. My Man’s name is Meachie and he has taken to me just like a bird
Black & Pink News
July/August 2017
takes to the air. Now I've put him through some hell just because of my past thinking he didn't love me at all.
with the stigma of my H.I.V Status with my cellmates as well as the people I live on the sections with.
Come to finally realize Meachie does love me, even after all the hell I've put my Man through today he is the Apple of my eye and in the storms of my illness he has been my anchor in all my storms.
So if I can overcome all of this then I fully know that there isn't anything I can't overcome in my life. I just have to always remember that I control me and not everything around me. So when life deals us lemons we must make lemonade.
Now all of these same guys that was mad at us, now want to get at me just b/c of who my Man is. They don't like him and most envy him and want to do all he is doing, that is to include me! Well here it is now and we are just getting over some shit that was started over me not giving these guys air time any more. See when I finally realized that I had a damn good man on my team I started shutting down everyone at every turn. I finally said f- it if he didn't love me then why is he still around? I learned that it takes Commitment to keep the good things in our life, and loyalty to hold onto them all. The next storm we now we will have to fuel is What will happen after they start my Female Hormone Therapy Treatment! Will they leave me in general population or place me into safe keeping due to the Hormone therapy? Lord only knows what will happen, however I love my Meachie and I don't want to lose my Man. Well I just wanted to let you all know there are all type of haters in the world both in the free world and in here this crappy world of prison! I can only say that my being 5'3", 185 lbs, and a Mixed race Mexican transgender, along with the fact that I have to deal
I hope that all my Sisters&Brothers will stand strong and always be mindful of your Family and friends even when it seems all is lost we are not alone. All we need to do is just reach out to our brothers and sisters for help. I want to now take time to thank all my Friends and Family at Black and Pink and all across the world for your time and attention in making the B & P newsletters what they are today. I thank you very much and hope to one day unite with you all in the free world someday real soon! Jason thanks babe for that Superhero bit in this last newsletter. (LOL) I'd have to be a She-ra or a Cat Woman. I've always seen my own self as a warrior yet at the same time a Cat Woman to always steal the hearts of a lot of men! However once again only b/c I can't say enough about my Man, I've always been the one to steal hearts, yet not this time around. My baby M. stole my heart, my mind and has in so many ways set me free even though we are lock up in prison. I'm still free. Thank You Daddy and just know that little moma loves you always. Your Sister in Arms,
Mrs. Chelsea Rose J (TX)
Volume 8, Issue 6
Black & Pink!
Greetings, Respects & Love! This is Gary, A.K.A "Wicked" from Texas. First I'd like to send my thoughts & prayers to all the brothers & sisters that was involved or knew anybody involved in that nightmare in Orlando! It's a tragedy that will leave a scar on all our lives. I totally agree with Jason about the fact that the government is trying to use this tragedy to create more racism, Islamophobia and suffering is
Hello Guys (Ladies too),
I'm a 37 y/o Gay man in TDCJ. Working on a 70-year sentence. Each month I read your letters in B&P and my heart just breaks. The horror and abuses you face numb me with shock and I feel your pain. As for me, I'm HIV poz (pre-prison rape) and I am able to get overall good medical care (I'm medcompliant & undetectable). I work as a Graphic Designer which is what I did pre-prison. It allows me to keep my mind sharp and my skills up-to-date should I get on appeal. The Wynne Unit Administration has never been outright violent or homophobic toward LGBTQ, in fact we have a very flamboyant gay sergeant. My point is your struggles remind me how blessed I am and reminds me when I'm down or upset, how bad my brothers & sisters have it. Being said, I do wish to share my biggest struggle. I've been out for 15 years or so and before prison, my life revolved around things like porn, erotica, and sex. Gay.com, Grindr, Craigslist were all staples in my day. The sex & hookups a tool to fight my fear of being alone. The problem was it was only temporary. The hookups were an hour and I was right back
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totally wrong. There's enough racism and hate as it is!! I just had to get that off my chest. Something else I'd like to speak up on.... This is to all the brothers & sisters that are living with H.I.V/ AIDS. Do not give up! And do not think you're alone. I've had H.I.V almost 17 years, and am living proof that it's not the end of the world. And I don't want anyone to take this the
to being alone. Relationships I had were as a result geared toward sex also. When I was arrested in 2011 nothing had changed. When I got to my current unit I became involved in the Catholic Church & I felt as though I had a place, a home, a family–and I do. Soon after though I met Anson. He and I began dating and he won my heart. My church family despised our relationship & it created a lot of turmoil and hurt for me. It was the first time I think I ever really loved someone though. It was mutual too because he accepted that to me my Church came first even though he saw the pain it caused. In October 2015 he went home and after a couple of months has disappeared. I can't be angry at him, he has a life to live but not a single day goes by that I don't find myself missing him. I'm still involved in the church–an active member–but I battle daily against being myself or being what some would call a "Good Catholic." Why can't I be both? If I were to accept me for me I feel I'd be pushed by my church and alone again. That scares me. Yet I know God's love is fully inclusive. All persons, even those like Omar Mateen who killed our friends in Orlando. God loved
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wrong way, but being a "Christian" does not mean you don't need meds. God can, and will heal you, but you've got to help yourself too. Not only do you need to take your meds, you need to learn all you can about the virus, that way all the hype don't fool you. No one will care for you, or about you like yourself!! Simply & Respectfully Me,
Mr. Wicked
him too. I look for advice but it's always biased. Either it's my one or two gay friends who say – Just be you or it's my church brothers who don't really understand my pain. To each group my choice is easy. To me though I go crazy thinking. I don't have any gray hair yet but I feel as though I should. Well boys and girls, there it is, my big problem. It seems so trivial and petty compared to your stories but sometimes I feel like screaming I spent so many years closeted, being someone else, I'm tired and that's not me. Can my Catholic brothers accept me for me? Should I care? I love them & would do anything for them but will I give them my very being? To my B&P family you are each in my prayers and I hope that you each find love, joy, and happiness in any context you can. I pray my own heart will mend and learn to love again and I pray that one day all unity will be restored. Yours in Solidarity and with Christ,
Cody AKA Froggy
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By Anjela S. (TX)
Black & Pink News
A-1 Ever since our first meeting When our eyes locked and connected You've been in my heart, on my mind, in my dreams day and night Unfolding fantasies of being in your arms Holding you tight never to let go treasuring the feel of you next to me... As our hearts beat as one. Remembrance of the sound of your voice, and antics of your behavior have me smiling... Waiting anxiously for the next day our paths will once again cross and I can secretly call you mine If only in my heart, as the sight of your smile stays in my mind. Written: 12:33 pm on Sunday, October 11, 2015
B-2 It's only been a week since we last parted And yet it feels as if a thousand years Already I miss the look of your face, Sound of your voice, feel of your body near mine, as slightest of smiles crosses your lips, Even though only opportunity separate us; It might as well be the difference between heaven and hell! The hell of not being able to be in your presence, nor to show the events in your life... Not even heaven itself could ever hold the elated joy of your officially becoming mine. Written: 12:55 pm on Sunday, October 11, 2015
The Face of a Man
By Rene P. (CA)
A misty stream of moonlight passed between iron bars and into the prison cell and cast its soft glow on the face of the man, revealing features that time, worry, regret and sadness had etched and hardened. Many long years in prison had passed, leaving behind lines of time, and they ran deep across the surface of the face, hardly a hint remained in that face of the boy that had once been, but behind that face, the memories still lingered. In these memories, the boy that had once been could still be found. Outside, the darkness, a cricket's endless song stirred and brought those old memories of long ago, in the shadows of night, the face was as motionless as weathered stone, but behind that face, images of times gone by moved across the walls of his mind. Then, somehow, reality began to shift. The air shimmered like
silvery stardust, and then everything warped and bent into strange angles and unrecognizable figures and then reformed into familiar shapes. When the transformation was complete, gone were the cold, concrete walls and iron bars and the hard narrow bunk. In their place were walls of sheet rock and wood, a window, cold, iron bars and soft warm bed. Through the window panes, a misty stream of moonlight passed into the bedroom and casts its soft glow on the face of the boy, the mind of the man recognized his childhood room of home. Then he heard familiar laughter that seemed to echo out of the endless depths of time. He was filled with wonder because the laughter was his mother's, but she had passed away many years ago. How could this be? Had his dreams really come true? Was he a boy again? Was his mother really alive again? And as he tried to grasp the meaning of it all, reality began to shift once more.
July/August 2017
C-3 Sitting here writing these, suffering silently, Wanting someone to share in my job, to advise me the best way to go, and yet all the while knowing there's no one to trust with this forbidden love. Tears building in my eyes and streaming down my face blotting this paper that's my only solace. In my heart I know the possibility is the same for you as well, so even more the intensity of these feelings compound. For now I know beyond all doubt that we are both the two halves of a whole. That in itself; no opportunity, no distance, no situation, person, or place could ever fully withhold. Wishing I could hold you tight making all of this go away... I console myself looking forward to the day, we no longer have to keep our feelings at bay. Written: 1:16 pm on Sunday, October 11, 2015 He lay there, paralyzed and helpless, as the walls of his room crumbled and faded until only darkness remained, and his mother's laughter drifted farther and farther away until it was only a whisper in the past. The mind of the man cried "no!" and I tried to hold on but the dream was gone and his cry was lost in the empty darkness of his mind. When the darkness cleared, gone were the sheet rock and wood walls, the warm soft bed and the sound of laughter. In their place were cold, concrete walls and iron bars, a hard narrow bunk, and the sound of a cricket. In the darkness of night, the cricket still sang its endless song. And a misty stream of moonlight passed between iron bars and into the prison cell to reveal tears on the face of the man.
Volume 8, Issue 6
By Anastazia S. (IN)
The sight behind her eyes Storm clouds of infernal rage or A soft incessant rain weeping Sorrow of the soul Both reflective of a forbidden Love - without an answer to the Riddle of this esoteric connection I hear her calling me in the dark Of night - I wake from the dream Alone - my arms empty - an Empty confusion unable to place the Reason behind this displacement We are each torn in two Watching Witnessing from afar - One who Isn't my doppelganger - which is the Shadow side? These shoes can Never be filled by an understudy.
Hello my fabulous family!
My name is Beau and I have been receiving this wonderful newsletter since the September 2015 issues and I am so grateful for the help and understanding that I get from each issue, no doubt! You see, I just turned 22 and I identify as Gay and have since I knew that that was the word to describe my sexual orientation. I do not get bashed for being Gay or anything like that, but I still feel really lonely and my Black & Pink family's writings always makes me feel better. Thank you my fellow brothers and sisters for your help and I hope that your struggle/life is full of rainbows and love.
Beau (KS)
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I slide on the costume of another's Flesh to mirror the scene, and look To see her silent scream Comedy and tragedy's muse - no one Finds this display amusing. What Escaped remembrance in time,
Not Forgotten
I don't know what God intended for earth, but I'm sure this isn't all it's worth!! To be born and open one’s eyes, and later grow up to be despised... To be looked at and judged by another, when God has said should love you as a brother. How can so much hate be in one place?? and not be seen within one's face? Have we become too complacent and blind?? To think everyone is of the same mind?? Does it take a senseless murder spree? of people who just want to live free?? Free of the looks and hostile acts, smile in our face while stabbing us in the back!! Free to love someone you thought you couldn't, or see yourself married when you thought you shouldn't. Free to express yourself as you believe, not sit here in sadness and silently grieve. I can't accept the excuses being made,
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and Distance - returned in a lightening Bolt of electricity through a butterfly's Touch - yet instantly dissipates when That look pierces me again by her Turning away.
or that the FBI was smoothly played!! You don't turn off feelings you feel, not when it's those that lead you to kill!!! How can we say we missed the hint? When it was shown wherever he went? No matter, Heaven's not filled with angels galore, from my Pulse family that I love and adore!! You'll be missed every day that you're gone, your laughter and talks on the phone!! But please know we love you dear, and we won't show anyone an ounce of fear!! I'm sorry that life can sometimes be so cruel, and hate makes others act like a fool!! But I want you to know that you're now free, in Heaven stating our case for you and me!! I love you and miss you all so much, yet thankful you're enjoying God's loving touch!! To my family at Pulse.. Love,
Gene (FL)
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Dear Black and Pink Family:
I was reading your newsletter of May 2016 and I read all the stories, poems, etc. I liked them all. I am writing a letter to you tonight. My name is Jeff Murphy and I am bisexual. A couple years ago I was in 3-d-House and my lover Bobby Stapleton #162760 they called him Shrimp by nick name. Well - anyway - we both lived together with H.I.V., and shrimp end up getting cancer and having treatments for it of chemo and all. Well - one night they did a big transfer and took a bunch out of our wing taking Bobby A.K.A shrimp away from me to Licking Prison in Missouri. By the way my lover Bobby is bisexual and Black, cute and small guy with a great personality. I wrote him many letters, but as time went on after a year or so, he passed away. His family did not write him. He had me as his family. The prison came to me after Bobby passed away to ask who his emergency contact was, to you know... pick his body up. They gave me a bunch of letters back to me that I wrote Bobby he never got in the hospital. By the way - I am white, bi-sexual I felt they split us up because of his color, as they did the same thing to a friend of mine who had a Black cell mate. My white friend’s name was Chris Johnson. The prison split
Peace
I can't take it anymore, I'm on the verge of collapsing. The pressure is building, Soon the explosion will happen. There is a straining in my chest, Any minute it will burst through. A swelling in my head, All thoughts will be gone.
July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
them up also, my friend who was bisexual and white and his celly was Black & Star they call her that got transferred. Let me get back to my lover Bobby who we call Shrimp. No one asked me if I was going to be OK or talked to me. Just gave me all the mail that was not postmarked he never got. Yes- I was pissed off, mad, hurt. But Bobby would not want me that way, he taught me a lot, he had a kind loving heart and we loved each other a lot more than this prison knows, and since then I got cell mates that came and went, mostly levels dropped & transferred. I don't have no friend or love since Bobby was taken away. I am in the hole now for a 2-1 major assault on my cellmate, I'll probably do a year in the hole and go to court for the assault when I get a lawyer appointed to me. Yea - I can say things more bad about this prison at this present time but I won't. This is for in memory of Bobby Stapleton who passed away and not forgotten. So when I read Black and Pink newsletter of people stories all over in prisons, I can feel their pain, sadness, and want to be heard. Shout out to the world of brothers and sisters. They turned the lights out in my cell, I am by the sink with the hall
The pain has become unbearable, It must be dealt with soon. Peacefulness is what I seek, But all I can find is you, The one who eats at my soul, Slowly consuming all that is me, Can I ever find peace, Or is it never meant to be.
James O. (TX)
light to use. :). Even though I have H.I.V. I am a mentally strong person to live with it, but - when they took Bobby away from me it kind of tore apart of my heart, as I could of stayed close to him like I was through his cancer and all. I think part of him having a stroke was because I was not there with him that's how in Licking, MO - prison of what happen when we went to the hospital before he passed away. It pisses me the f*ck off. I feel the prison did it splitting us up because he was Black and I was White. The people who hate race and genders, gays are bad people, we all human with the same feelings, want to feel love. We all cry and laugh, etc. I hope my Black and Pink family after I'm gone do away with prisons, hate crimes stops, and I would like a favor from my family and light a candle for Bobby Stapleton and a balloon with his name on it and mine to release in the air. Thank you. I shall close. Sincerely lots of love,
Jeff M. (MO) P.S. I wish someday I can visit you or one of my family members someday on a visit. But - they have my visits taken for a year and I had write ups in the hole. But - I need & would like to talk with you. Have a nice day. Stay sweet. Kiss kiss.
Jeff
I'm so messed up I don't know what day Bobby passed away. But - he will be always remembered.
Volume 8, Issue 6
Mirror
How does a person that has been trapped forever find the courage and the strength to find any way possible to get out and be free? Endless nights and long days of hiding behind the mask is getting harder and harder every single day. Trying to manage life inside prison all the while being trapped on the inside with no one or anyone to talk to. I've been alone all of my life and the people who have and are in my life have no idea of what it is like to be caged inside the wrong body. Suicide has always tormented my mind as far back as I can remember. I dare not cry or scream, as that would bring the monsters closer and closer to me. Year after year, people after people, no one really knows or cares. Forever alone till further notice. True freedom only comes in dreams. Life is a constant
Dear Black & Pink,
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never ending nightmare. Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me? Hello? ... Trapped behind the mirror. Never trusting anyone or anything anymore. I've been waiting for the mirror to crack or break all of my, but time after time nothing happens. All anyone ever does is walk by and never stop to look. Why would they? Now all I hear is the voices of those who walk by without a care in the world. Maybe one day my mirror will break and I will forever be free, but until then I will always be trapped behind the beautiful mirror. Short story written by Kim Snyder. I'm a 29 year old (about to be 30 in May - yay!) transgender. I truly love all of the LGBTQ community, a shout out to everyone in our family. Please
Hello to all my brothers and sisters that are behind bars and that are in the free world. Let me start by saying this is my first letter and I want to thank you all for your words, poems and artwork. I have been a member since 2013 and have enjoyed everything. I will be getting out soon and I would like to tell you about the things I have seen in here. They are not pretty. We can't have our fun time with our man or woman, we are made fun of by staff and other inmates, we are treated like we have the Black plague, we are used and abused.
That applies to different situations between inmates and officers. They passed a bill allowing the officers to carry pepper spray to use if they are in harm's way but not just for threatening an inmate if they don't comply with the officer orders. But what they don't realize is that people are not afraid of that. They also need to find another way. A friend of mine was taken to the hole because they wouldn't let him out for a pass and he snapped. It saddens me that the prison system has to be like this even more so than the outside world.
I had a conflict with an officer and was denied in part of my grievance that they have here at my prison system. I had spoken with a captain of security and he told me that he has discussed proper use of force with his officers. Meaning: mechanical restraints, pepper spray, and greater uses of force are available to officers if needed and appropriate.
To my Brothers and Sisters in Orlando Florida my prayers and thoughts are with you always. To my Brothers and Sisters of Stone-Wall as well. To Everybody everywhere PRIDE!!! Much love
B. in PA
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keep your head up and be proud of who you are. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Remember you will always have your family to count on. With tons of Love and Peace,
Your sister “Kim�
By Robert K.
My name is gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning, malicious, and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. I am called gossip: Office gossip, Shop gossip, Party gossip, Telephone gossip, I make headlines and headaches. Before you repeat a story, ask yourself, is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not - DON'T REPEAT IT! Remember Me.
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My name is Jeff and I'm bisexual. Here is my story! In my town of Nevada, MO, is a small town with no gay bars. All my girlfriends I dated never knew I was bisexual. One weekend at the time I was not dating no one, and I was tired of the love straight bars in my hometown with fights and all. So one weekend I shaved my whole body from my face to my toes and got all dolled up all sexy with real short cut off blue jean shorts and a t-shirt tied in a knot in the front, with stripped knee socks & t-shoes and red head bandana
To my B&P Family,
tied around my head. I drove out of town to Joplin, MO, and found out at a gas station where a gay bar was. I went to the gay bar of LGTBQ and sat down and ordered a drink a little nervous but excited as it was my first time in a gay bar. The music was nice and I started feeling comfortable and relaxed as I see 2 girls that was really pretty dancing together and 2 men dancing. Just being there with the surroundings around me of LGTBQ people like myself made me feel accepted. I did not have no date with me, but it did not matter, I got on the dance floor and danced by myself
Hi Everyone at B+P,
This is my first time writing in to you guys. Though I have been a subscriber for a few years. I have been silently reading your newsletters. Reading all the hardships we go through as not just transgender women (as I am) but as anyone in the LGBTQI family. The hardships and prejudice we all tend to go through not only by the staff, but also the inmate population too, is an atrocity. It pains me to see these letters and what all my sisters and brothers go through on a daily basis.
I want to say thank you to B+P for giving a transgender a place to be heard. You have inspired me to be a better Woman each day. The work you do and putting together your newspaper is beautiful.
I am here in SHU currently here in Arizona USP. Anyone who is familiar with this place knows it is a messed up yard. I really cannot stand it, but it is safe for us girls for the most part. I have been lucky to find a few diamonds in the rough as they say. I sat in here for over a month under investigation for a phone issue. When I was finally talked to I was asked if I was trying to get drugs in under my name. Wow, really?! I think people or someone is trying to get me out of the way. People are very jealous on this yard and will try to rat you out if they are hating on you. I respect the game, but at least tell on something that is true.
In CA we are working to change the policy for items that transwomen are allowed to have. This is in PREA. It is important that this change happens. Males express their gender all day. Why shouldn't we? We have to rise up and be accounted for. Starting now.
So, anyways, about me. My name is
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Black & Pink News
Also I want to send this information to all transwomen especially in the CA prisons. In the Prison Rape Elimination Act there are federal guidelines that all Prisons are to abide by. They don't. So it is up to us to get the prisons to change the policy.
Don't let officials tell you it is a security issue. If that was the case then there wouldn't be brooms, mops, razors or hundreds of other things. We are only trying to live not just as females but humans. Brittany, 40 years old and finally got on the HRT last year. No idea how much better I feel. However, I still have a long way to go. I am going the whole way. Surgery (GRS) and
to a song I liked feeling sexy and free. As I went to the bar for another drink a guy did softly pat my a** when I went by. But that was the best time of my life being where I ought to be. So when I started thinking about the awful tragic Orlando shooting a tear comes t my eye each time. Because I know! What an awful thing to happen. Some time has passed by since the Orlando shooting, but I said a prayer for then all. They were all there like me when I went to Joplin, MO. LGBTQ bar.
Jeff M. (MO)
It is for all transwomen in CA to send a letter to the Transgender Law Center and simply ask how you can help. I have done that as well as the other 14 women had. You can also contact public officials as well as National Center for Transgender Equality. The paperwork is to get people to help advocate for us. In Pennsylvania the women are now getting female items. So let's all rise up and work together as one. And remember for whom you say you are is truly who you are. Love, Lisa
Transgender Law Center c/o Attorney Ilona Turner 1629 Telegraph Ave Suite 400 Oakland, CA 94612 National Center for Transgender Equality c/o Harper Jean Tobin 1325 Massachusetts Ave NW Suite 700 Washington, DC 20005 everything. Hopefully, it will not be a major battle with the Feds. They have mascara and eyeliner on commissary Continued on next page
Volume 8, Issue 6
Continued from previous page here. I can also get my bras and panties from the laundry. I do not need to buy them. I was also extremely happy to see that new "Transgender Offender Manual" on the bulletin board TRULINCS as well. I went through it with a finetoothed comb and I will hold them to it when necessary. I was also excited to see it printed in full in the March B&P, along with the "medical management policy." I have not seen the medical one until now. But believe me when I got the transgender offender manual printed I made sure well to bring the signed CMA (case management activity) consent form to the support group we have in psychology once a month. That way it is in their system and have no reason to use the wrong pronouns or to inappropriately pat me down. (I am female pat down only). Even take my feminine items during any cell searches. They are scared of any lawsuits or PREAs on them. I even get play in who my cellie is. They cannot throw just anyone in with me. So any girls in the FBOP make sure you have that CMA sheet turned in to psych. One last thing for anyone with access to the PLN Volume 28 #3 issue. There is a case (Pinson v. Preito U.S.D.C. (C.D. CA), case no. 5:10-CV-00811SP). Jeremy Pinson (Grace) at F.C.I. Terre Haute won a shattering case for us allowing transgenders who wish to dress in conformity with their gender identity. So does that now mean we can dress in the same type of clothing that inmates at the women’s prisons of the same security level can? I have not seen any additional detail outside of that. I am anxious to get more info on that. I just wanted to write in and let y'all
blackandpink.org
Black & Pink,
Hello, this here is Sincere, writing to Black and Pink newsletter once again from Rhode Island while wishing & hoping that all people that are part of the LBGTQ community and all people being oppressed are able to find peace, love, unity, & healing. This here letter is to tell people about the changes that I recently made inside these walls. Well, to start off with, I have been incarcerated for 13 ½ years & counting. I came to prison at 17 years old. Out of the 13 ½ years I been here I spent close to 8 years in some form of solitary confinement (note: 7 years, 325 days to be exact). While in solitary, I refused to sit back & deteriorate my mind by sitting in a cell for 23 hours a day. I was eager to self-teach myself multiple things like the law, prison policy, religion, etc. I then ran into a roadblock when the prison placed an all out list of publications to be banned. I believed this ban was to stop the self-education of people like myself – a young, black, gay, self-conscious man. The things this prison was trying to ban were all materials for LGBTQ people, a lot of Islamic stuff, Black historical books, anything written by the author Robert Greene, magazines for urban people, etc. So, as a man who had the will to learn, I had to file a lawsuit on this prison. I challenged the fact that these people, by stopping me from certain reading material that is educational to me & my history & material pertaining to my lifestyle as a gay man, they were violating my rights as well as interfering with my rehabilitation. I argued equal protection when people are allowed to order material on things such as Hitler know about that in case no one was hip yet and just to give a shout out to everyone. Stay strong and keep pushing for what we are due. We will eventually overcome the boundaries
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and Nazi Germany and books on the mafia and Hell’s Angels, but I can’t order a book on Malcolm X or George Jackson and I couldn’t get Black & Pink or magazines like F.E.D.’s and Don Diva. All in all, I had a pretty good argument. The end result with my lawsuit was this: the RI D.O.C. had to write a new policy for all mail and publications. They started a three person group called P.R.C. – Publication Review Committee and one of these people is a college professor. This group handles all publications sent to the D.O.C. and makes it harder to ban things. The banned publication list I told you about, well, they had to rip it up and get rid of it. So, now, these same publications they once banned are now allowed including Black and Pink. Last but not least, they can no longer ban things that are on the topic of LGBTQ people, religion, five percenters, or any Black literature. I feel good that I was able to make some type of change here in prison. I am currently working on yet another lawsuit but this one is on solitary confinement and mental health. I will be sure to keep my Black and Pink fam updated on my progress. Once I go home I plan on working with Black and Pink [Providence “free world” chapter] and hopefully be some kind of help. I am going to be standing shoulder to shoulder fighting alongside the struggle. My main fight will be to abolish every prison, by all means. Peace –n- Love. Always,
Sincere (RI) of haters. Love and solidarity. Love y'all,
Brittany
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What's up my colorful family!
Hey, it's your big-lil bro Antoine a.k.a. Indy. First I want to thank Black and Pink for putting my last poem in the May 2016 newsletter. It feels great to know I'm talking to my family all over the U.S. I'm in solitary in Pennsylvania. PA is... nevermind. I just want to give a few shout outs to my brothers and sisters who were in the May newsletter. First, to my big sis L'Don Rose in California: I love your energy and how you don't bite your tongue <it hurts when you bite your tongue. LOL!> and it's people like you that make me want to embrace myself more. I'm not trans but you still
Black & Pink, I can't believe this outrage. I'm seein' 50 of my people put to death by bullets, another 53 rushed to the ICU unit & we’re suppose to smile & just turn the other cheek... no no no. Let me guess... We're goin' to rally, screamin'. Why shedding tears in the streets, pleading for a justice that me people never seen. It's been discrimination from the beginnin'. So what the fuck does justice mean? & you have the audacity to preach about love, peace & harmony. What you think that’s goin' to keep them AR15 from harming me. Don't you see these fools are no longer playin' with fantasies? Their intentions & threats are real, it's more passionate than makin' love to Jodeci. They
July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
motivate me. Love you sis.
will come.
Second, Robin in Nevada. You are so right, can't let haters control our minds. We are stronger and better than them.
Well, to everyone else. I love y'all. Be good and stay colorful. :)
Third, Lexi in MA. That quote from your journal is beautiful. I have that book “Redefining Realness.” I believe it is a must read also. Not just for trans but anyone trying to discover who they are. Last, Robert S. in Indiana. I love your poem and I had to say hey because I'm a fellow hoosier from Indianapolis. Be strong, our time
End
Opportunity is knocking at my door. This time“She” I will not ignore. From out of “her” my Future is born. Bringing about New Beginnings Free from scorn. No more looking back I will do. For Opportunity has birthed in my lifeA new positive point of view. Closing the gates of confusion in my mind. Allowing me a delicatessen of peace
took that first step & revealed their hatred for this community so when are me & you going to stand together & establish some kinda unity? This ain't our first struggle
Pray that I keep my crazy butt out the hole this time. 7-7-16 I get out the hole. Love y'all! Don't let anybody tell you you can't because you can. Don't walk it, run it. And most of all don't ever be ashamed of who you are!
-INDY (PA)
P.S.: Pray for my ex. She sees parole this month. Let's hope god brings her home.
To joyfully find. Now the shameful shadows of my past Are diminished from view at last. For the Door to Opportunity I opened wide. Showing me a new dimension of living On the more positive sideFree from self-destructive pride. Which previously caused me in life To wrecklessly collide. Bursting my dreams and anticipations open wide.
Larry R.
battlin' these kind of adversaries, we've been fighting' for liberation long before these penitentiaries sold commissary. Ernest W. AKA Getdown (CA)
Volume 8, Issue 6
blackandpink.org
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Dear Friends,
I want to share my thoughts about some issues in the last or more recent (May 2016) Newsletter. Also, I send my love and sympathy for those that were affected by the horrible act of cowards and scum of the earth on the Orlando, Florida club massacre. There is no justification for your evil deeds who claim that they are following the will of Allah. "Bull shit" and you'll eat it one day. Now that has me a bit more relaxed, I wish to tell Dion of Illinois; that rape is an act of violence and if a person says no and the aggressor still continues to "put their claws in" to catch their prey, they are in the act of sexual assault regardless of "what" they think or "how" they
Dear B&P,
Hey! It's Isabella, once again coming to y'all live and direct from Walla Walla. Yours truly is on lockdown in IMV. =( Y'all know a b**ch doesn't like chipping these damn nails. However, certain situations.... Right now a girl is in the IMV for a 633 Assault on a offender. Three of these dudes who yell "whoop whoop" all the damn time, tried to get saucy with me. So I got saucy right back. Now I'm a very cispassable woman on a bad day. Just throw some makeup on, and all I hear is "Damn girl." Now these guys aren't going for none of that from the only "out" trans woman. But s**t, girl, I ain't going for this neither. So I swing. And I missed! Yo, I can't believe it either. Granted, I haven't fought in two years, but whiffing it?! Embarrassing. And they still lopped me with an assault. I didn't even touch him! They started all of
feel the game is. Just recently I had to bring a situation to the attention of the authorities. The man in my cell felt that I was obligated to give him sex because I'm gay. "No" means "No" remember that. Another thing, just because you're gay does not mean you are to bow down to these so called inmate rules. If you want to stand and pee or spin like a ballerina in the shower, you have that right and if someone confronts you and says that's wrong-- that's called Strong Arming and you stand your ground, No one, period! Has that right to tell you how to do your time as long as you don't physically touch them. If they don't like what they see, then
this s**t, and dude put his hands on me first! Look, I'm not into playing the race card or conspiracy theories. But y'all do the math. 3 white guys, 1 minority woman. I'm in trouble, they're not. Something isn't adding up. Tell you what, a b**ch ain't getting saucy anymore. Right now, these people hate my ass. I've been writing the superintendent and getting responses. Talking to national trans & LGBTQIA centers, tryna get s**t done. Writing my pen pals Amelia and Mary. But, though I'm not getting saucy, I'm sure as hell gonna stay on the front lines. I'm a strong woman, leader, and soldier. Tell me what to do, and it gets done, ASAP. Someone who wrote said, "Just because you're in PC, doesn't mean you're any safer." And let me add something here. Just because you chose PC. For whatever reason.
I suggest that they should look for something else. Thank you Dion for your support. And Bobbie of Ohio: When you do leave prison, just remember the things that put you in prison. Please don't be a statistic, be a leader and bring the team to a better world. I hope that you are well and my prayers are with you. Always. As for here, well this is prison and I've spent nearly 28 years of my life here, but will be going home in 2020 or sooner. Being gay is not easy, however all things in life has obstacles, We just have to overcome them.
Craig (Louisiana), 6-15-16
Others didn't. A lot of people there are snakes, wolves & vultures. In other words, opportunists. They figure that since we're (LGBTQIA) back there, we're scared and meek. That is why I swing. To let them know, wounded I may be, weak I am not. Whether alone or in a pack, wolves know better than to f**k with a lion. Especially a female. So my sisters and bros. Lift your heads up. Everyone slips and stumbles on the road to greatness. B&P didn't hit every single green light on mainstreet. However, it's not about how you start, but how you finish. Me? I'm 21, and ready to fight to be free to live my authentic life. My only question is: Are you? In sisterhood,
Isabella<3
#LeoPride #TransLivesMatter
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I am writing this letter to first and foremost say Thank You for being able to partake into your family. There is a lot of things that I would like to address and I don't know where to begin. Well let me begin by introducing myself. My name is Randy, and everybody calls me “Junior.” I am 34 years old and I have been "out" to society since I was the age of 13. I am MexicanAmerican a.k.a. “Chicano.” My mom is white and even though I never met my dad, he is Mexican. Anyways. . . I am writing this letter because I was reading the November issue of "our" newsletter and there are a lot of issues that touched my heart. I am Bi-sexual and I've been through some rough relationships. As I was reading a letter from David L. in Ohio, his story really touched me. I can relate to him completely. I have lived in Arizona my whole life and I too am a registered sex offender. So this is how my story begins. . . I was 18 years old. My "girlfriend" Alicia was 17. Her mom called the police on me because I wouldn't give her mom money anymore so she got mad at me and told the police this huge story of lies. So me, I was put in jail and I was scared out of my mind I was threatened by Detectives and my own attorney that I was looking at a lot of charges 2 F3's and 1 F2 for kidnapping. So they scared me into signing a plea. I signed for 10 years 85% I ended up doing 8.5 years. I got out in 2011 on "Lifetime Probation" since then I have been to jail numerous times for probation violations that were absolutely no real violations. Then. . . in 2014 I had the U.S Marshall's arrest me at gun point because my so called "boyfriend" was very jealous that I would talk to other co-workers or friends of mine so this j*** a** decides to call my P.O. and tell her that I have had sexual contact with a minor, (so that's how the warrant for my arrest came about). It's
July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
now almost 2017 and I just finished my case 2 years later. I was looking at 25 years, and I had this kick a** attorney named J.L. out of Phoenix, AZ. He got my case dropped and I am only serving time for my probation violation (not being current on my payments). I signed a No Contest Plea and I go home in September of 2017. As for my "boyfriend" they indicted him on communicating with a minor for sexual intent. . . he's looking at 28 years. The moral of this story David is I feel your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been in the system for 17 years for being or trying to be a kind, humble person I too was sexually molested by my uncle when I was 9 years old and I never told anyone until recently. My friends, family etc. . . all know that I am Bi-sexual and they have been my backbone. David you sound like you're a really smart person. I am currently in the worst county jail anyone could possibly be in Arizona. We get fed worse than animals. We get this crap called “slop.” It's disgusting OMG!! I am 6 ft. tall. I came to jail weighing 195 lbs. 2 years later I only weigh 150 lbs. I guess it’s good for me, it’s good for my "image". :) - but I mean we only get 2 meals a day. And I don't eat neither. Anyways. . . David, 18 months will go by fast keep yourself busy and away from all the drama. My release date is September 29, 2017. So I hope B+P post this letter and I hope you read it. Life is cruel but together we are stronger. Please keep in touch. For anyone else out there who is struggling. . . always wear a smile because life is full of challenges. It's what you do with those challenges that allows you to rise above. I will always remain humble and stress free. I know that I am not a bad person and honestly I don't care how society
Divine Love
Love is the highest elevation in understanding with a bond so strong it cannot be broken. Love is the highest elevation between two forces. Love is the highest elevation between two people with unity. Love is Sweet, Hot and Sticky. Love is now, painful and emotional. Love is experiencing our sexuality to the fullest. Love is fading away in your partner's arms. Love is kissing, touching, and discovery. Love is exploring her body. Love is exploring his body. Love is not caring what anyone thinks. Love is complete freedom. Love is the sounds of passion in the night. Love is the beauty of our bodies' song. Love is oneness. Love is eternal. Love is for you. Love is for me. Love is strength, encouragement and loyalty. Love is teaching and learning. Love makes you scream. Love is the thing you dream of. Love is something you feel. Yes!. . . Divine Love is always Real. Enjoy. Love,
Divine views me. When you smile it shows that you are a survivor and you are unbreakable. Thank you B+P for allowing me to express myself. United we stand!
Randy "Junior" B. (AZ)
Volume 8, Issue 6
Hello Black & Pink Family,
My name is Howard Daniel Smith, but everyone calls me Beast. I am a 38 y/o gayboy turning 39 in August. Every day is a struggle for me, fighting anger, & depression, & worse of all loneliness. You see, I am serving two LWOP's for a double murder, so for me prison is my home. My only chance at living a happy life is finding someone that I can fall-in-love with & build a solid relationship with.
blackandpink.org
believe that we should stand together as a family to face all the hate and discrimination. But I am forced to stand alone in my ideas, wishes, & desires. It hurts that I cannot allow myself to stand with my brothers & sisters out of fear that I will be betrayed so that they can score on money/drugs.
Now I don't do drugs, drink, or play politics as head-games. I value loyalty, honor, respect, & truthfulness. I love all my brothers & sisters that forced to suffer like myself, & I firmly
So it seems that I am destined to spend the rest of my lonely depression. But I still have hope that I will find at least one person that has the same standards & values as I do, that is also doing all day & only wants to be loved. I am
Masks and Magic
Dear Family,
I may never understand it, this need for a facade. They accept that which they see, not knowing what they really applaud. The man of a thousand faces and names, yet I know not who I am. I'm getting to where my identity means nothing. All the lies I'm forced to live up to, they create great big illusions. But they do less than nothing for the pain I feel, my emotional contusions. Every one of us has secrets we try so, so hard to totally conceal. Living in a make-believe wonderland, slowly losing sight of all that's real. Always living in fear, that our secret evils may one day be discovered. We trust nobody whole-heartedly, not even our most intimate, cherished lover. Using smoke and mirrors, half-truths and entirely real deceptions. We vainly seek to protect ourselves from scrutinizing perceptions. But what happens when the image the mask offers becomes our true name? How can we even look at even the simplest things again as "all the same"? Make no mistake, nor nurture any doubt about it; illusions and masks only last for so long. Then you're stuck "naked", without it.
Speedy (FL)
Hi all! My name is Ashley and I'm a trans* identified woman currently being housed in a male facility in the Oregon DOC. I've been receiving Black & Pink for a while now and have yet to see anyone from Oregon write in so I decided to write in to let everyone know what's up for the LGBTQIA family in Oregon. Trans* identified adults in custody with a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis in the Oregon DOC can now petition the Gender Non-Conforming TLC committee to receive state issued undergarments that align with their gender identity as well as petition to receive access to a gender affirming canteen list. In order to begin this process, they need to contact Mental Health (BHS) and inform them that you want these things. This will begin a drawn-out process that will take six months to a year to complete. But it's so worth it! While wearing makeup bras & panties doesn't miraculously make me feel 100% in-line, it does help alleviate some of the dissonance that I experience. This is the first time in
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a top, but am willing to do whatever I need to do to keep my mate happy. I've spent a lot of years fighting for our family. I've done a lot of SHU time & lost a lot more for the cause. I'll keep fighting, but it will be more for myself & my happiness now. But I'm no longer looking for the fight. Now, I'm only looking for the gayboy/ transgender that is of like mind that I can fall in love with, & spend the rest of my life fighting for our happiness. With Love & Respect to all LGBTQI family,
Beast 727 (CA)
14 years of incarceration that I feel more like my true self and less like an actor. We are still fighting for access to hormones and other medical affirmations. Thankfully, the ACLU of Oregon has decided to look at moving forward with at least 9 of our cases. Fingers crossed! it's only a matter of time before all DOCs are forced to provide services. I would like to close by sending my strength and solidarity out to all of our family inside and outside of the walls. Most, if not all, of use have faced hardships, pains and traumas that would have destroyed the wills of the "average" individual and caused them to back away from the perceived "sin" to society; But not us. We openly declare our LGBTQIA status in spite of the hardships, pains and traumas and fight back against the oppression. Remember that you are awesome, loved and deserve happiness. Stay strong my friends.
<3 Ashley (OR)
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July/August 2017
Black & Pink News
Buscando Contribuciones
Call for Submissions
¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!
Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.
Estamos buscando contribuciones en español para nuestras secciones de Cartas a Nuestra Familia y Poesía del Corazón. Por favor envía tu contribución escrita en forma legible y de no más de tres páginas a: Black & Pink — ESPAÑOL Damos la bienvenida a cualquier escrito de tu creación, pero dado el espacio y la variedad, no todas las contribuciones pueden ser aceptadas. Al enviar tu contribución, das permiso a Black & Pink para publicar tus escritos en forma impresa y en internet.
To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.
Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 614 Columbia Rd. Dorchester, MA 02125 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.
If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it! Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues. Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing! Email us: members@blackandpink.org
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Call for Submissions: Queer Prisoners Comic Collection Hi! We’re a team of queer artists, publishers, and comic enthusiasts who are putting together an anthology amplifying the voices of queer and trans prisoners. We want to publish you! We’re looking for stories about your experience inside, but feel free to be creative! It can be autobiographical, poetic, abstract, goofy, serious, or even sci-fi. Once published, we’ll take your comics out into the world to the conventions we work throughout the year, as well as bookstores and libraries. All profits will go back to the contributors (you) and to abolitionist organizations! Write to us with a story pitch/outline and we’ll send you more information! ABO COMIX P.O. Box #11584 195 41st Street Oakland, CA 94611
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Ann Lewis, “The Revolution Evolves”