Black & Pink New, Volume 10, Issue 4 - September 2019

Black and Pink News

artwork by Misha Zadeh courtesy of amplifier.org

SELF-CARE ISSUE: SEPTEMBER 2019

artwork by Ernesto Yerena courtesy of amplifier.org

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

A message from Dominique...

They Tried to Bury Us...They didn’t know we were seeds...

Many of us are growing through situations meant to end us.

The internal understanding that we have to keep going is the “WHY” that we lean on.

We live in a state of constant change. Whether or not we’re paying attention, the process is always happening. Even people who can’t see it in themselves witness change daily in their children or in others around them.

Life is about recalibrating. About continually asking yourself: “What do I have to do to get where I need to be?” “How do I create the life I want?”

My hope is that with our Self Care Issue you will find space to explore these very questions, but the short answer is this: We have to make ourselves over daily, consistently, in order to keep moving forward.

We are not meant to stagnate.

But how does the idea of building the sort of life that you envision live inside of a prison. Dreams and hopes are light. The more that we focus on, develop and believe in our dreams and desires, theres less room for the darkness.

Now be clear the amount of strength you will have to stay on your square in the midst of everything you will navigate inside of these instaisn will ebb and flow. And thats okay.

The physical, mental and emotional energy that you are exerting daily can make you feel like you don’t have any more to give -especially to a dream that can feel improbable.

If change is the one thing you can be sure of, the goal is to figure out how you can use that certainty to your advantage, to modify, transfigure, refashion, and transform your day-to-day being.

The best way I know for sure to stay in steady makeover mode is to take care of yourself. To feed yourself with love and loving thoughts. To eat food that’s delicious to you and to your body. To engage in loving practices, like giving yourself the gift of stillness at least five minutes a day. To surround yourself with people who bring you light, and to banish all forms of negative energy.

Moving forward, you will see that the value you give yourself is the value the world reflects back to you. When you care about yourself enough to embrace change, you’re on the path that will lead you home to happiness.

Looking in the mirror, all of us see too many flaws and remember too many past wounds and failings to love ourselves without also putting a limit on that love.

In order to expand the love you experience now into unconditional love, you need to involve a spiritual element. There is a path to unconditional love, as with any spiritual aspiration, and on this path there is a beginning, middle and end.

Let me describe each a little to give you an idea of how the path unfolds.

Beginning: You see yourself as wanting and needing love, usually more than you are receiving. You feel insecure about being lovable, but your ego is there to boost you (or not).

Page 3

You love others, for the most part, according to how much they love you or appeal to your sense of romance, sexuality and compatibility. Relationships involve a constant negotiation between what you want and what your partner wants. The words that apply to this love include the following: passion, attachment, dependency, merging, romance, mutual need, liking and compatibility.

Middle: When you aspire to a higher kind of love, ego and neediness begin to count for much less. You feel that love can be a healing force that binds everyone.

You can love someone else without needing anything from him or her.

Such love begins to be less personal and attached. Your awareness expands, and you feel less insecure.

Love becomes more mature and peaceful. Relationships involve mutual appreciation; there are fewer conflicts between two defensive personalities. The words that apply to this love include the following: idealistic, calm, unselfish, giving, empathic, forgiving and accepting.

End: When all limitations are left behind, love becomes unconditional. You feel that it emerges from a spiritual source inside yourself. This is more than a feeling; you’ve tapped into a universal aspect of Being. No longer do you have a personal stake in the people you love. Pure compassion is possible now and a sense of belonging to the human family.

Relationships involve no struggle or contending needs and wants. Love becomes a self-sufficient state of fulfillment. The words that apply to this love include the following:

Page 4

blissful, transcendent, saintly, luminous, ecstatic and boundless.

As you can see, the term “unconditional” is about a process that reaches an exalted goal, while, at the same time, there are glimpses of bliss and joy along the way. As with all genuine spiritual aspirations, unconditional love is natural. It can be felt in a baby’s innocence or the sight of a sublime sunset. What’s challenging is to hold on to these passing moments, to turn them into a permanent state.

Yet, every step on the journey is worthwhile, just as any aspect of healing is always worthwhile.

Looking at the beginning, middle and end of the path, you don’t need to judge where you belong.

All of us have felt at least a few instances where we were perfectly loved and completely lovable.

For most people, these times go back to childhood or a first romance.

How, then, do we regain such a state?

By walking the path that lies ahead.

The world’s spiritual traditions have provided many road maps, but here I’ll offer a few common elements without religious overlay.

Step 1: Making contact with your inner self This implies paying more attention to self-care. Through meditation, self-reflection or contemplation, and the experience of quiet at least a few minutes every day, you make contact with your inner world. You learn to appreciate and enjoy it.

Step 2: Honestly facing your inner obstacles and resistance Most people don’t like to face their

Black & Pink News

September 2019

weaknesses and flaws because they judge against them. But you are only human, and you will find that your sense of insecurity and anxiety represents feelings from the past that can be healed. In fact, they want to be released if you will give them a chance. The first step in healing is to look inside and let the process of releasing begin. Healing can proceed along many avenues, from therapy and support groups to energy work, massage, mind-body programs and various Eastern medical approaches.

forgiveness. Self-acceptance is required first, and the realization that you—and everyone around you—have been doing the best you can from your own level of awareness. This can be quite a challenge when someone has hurt you deeply, but you can’t fully separate from wrongdoing until you accept that others are trapped inside a reality they can’t escape.

Step 3: Dealing with old wounds

This, too, is a stage you shouldn’t jump into too quickly. The present moment isn’t free of the burdens, memories and wounds of the past.

They must be attended to before you can look around, breathe easily and love the moment you are in right now.

A good beginning is to catch yourself when you have a bad memory and say, “I am not that person anymore.”

For the truth is that you aren’t.

One could also call this advanced healing. As old residues of negative emotions are released, you find that you are stuck with resentments, hurts and scars that must be dealt with. Beneath the scar, such wounds feel very fresh.

It takes help from someone else who understands the situation to go into these dark places—it could be a close friend, mentor, confidant, priest or therapist. No one can do this work alone, I feel, but I’m not underlining any sense of danger or fear. The work can be done safely, without anxiety, and once you start, there’s a tremendous sense of exhilaration, even triumph in the process. Just find someone who has walked the path successfully and sympathizes with you fully.

Step 4: Forgiving your past You shouldn’t jump too quickly into forgiveness. It’s all too easy to pretend to yourself that you forgive old hurts and abusive treatment, when, in fact, what you are eager for is to escape the pain.

The absence of pain, achieved through healing, gives you the right foundation for deep, lasting

Step 5: Accepting where you are right now

Step 6: Forming relationships where you feel loved and appreciated The path to unconditional love isn’t meant to be lonely. You should walk it with people who reflect the love you see in yourself. You are likely to look around at some point and realize that not everyone among your family and friends is in sync with your aspirations. Without rejecting them, you have the right to find people who understand the path you’re walking and sympathize with it. They are more likely to appreciate you for who you are now, and who you want to become.

Step 7: Practicing the kind of love you aspire to receive

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 4

Page 5

For most of my life I was constantly waiting for “the one” to show up and sweep me off of my feet.

But I realized the only way to realistically find “the one” is to be “the one” yourself. Like attracts like, and the more you live your own ideal of love, the more your light will draw another light to you.

I want you to know that I love you. I am thankful for your existence and I pray for your peace and joy at all times.

Until the next issue.

With Love, Dom

Pictured from left to right: Fatima Shabazz - Black and Pink LA, Reed Miller - Black and Pink Board Treasurer, Dominique Morgan - National Director and Tatina Von Furstenburg - On The Inside Art Founder and Curator.

September 2019

Page 6

In This Issue Self-Care Practices for Every Area of your Life page 7

Self-Care Techniques page 9

Physical Self-Care page10

Social Self-Care page 12 Mental Self-Care page 14 Spiritual Self-Care page 16 Emotional Self-Care page 18

Black & Pink family Letters from Family page 20

Poetry from Family page 25

Reflections/ Journal

Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life.

Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.

September 2019 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities.

About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!

Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST

We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding.

Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper.

The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts.

Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our

Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 4

Page 7

5 Self-Care Practices for Every Area of Your Life

By Elizabeth Scott, MS Updated August 12, 2019 www.verywellmind.com All the stress relief activities in the world won’t help if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

Meditation won’t do you any good if you aren’t getting adequate sleep. In fact, when you try to meditate, you might doze off because you aren’t taking care of your body’s need for sleep.

Similarly, hitting the gym once in a while won’t relieve much stress if you’re only fueling your body with high-processed junk food.

You need to take care of your basic needs first if you want your stress relief activities to be effective.

According to a 2017 journal article titled, “Development of a Self-Care Assessment for Psychologists,” self-care is defined as, “a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being.”

Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressors in life that you can’t eliminate. When you’ve taken steps to care for your mind and body, you’ll be better equipped to live your best life.

Unfortunately,

however,

many

people view self-care as a luxury, rather than a priority. Consequently, they’re left feeling overwhelmed, tired, and ill-equipped to handle life’s inevitable challenges.

It’s important to assess how you’re caring for yourself in several different domains so you can ensure you’re caring for your mind, body, and spirit.

Physical Self-Care You need to take care of your body if you want it to run efficiently. Keep in mind that there’s a strong connection between your body and your mind.

When your caring for your body, you’ll think and feel better too.

Physical self-care includes how you’re fueling your body, how much sleep you’re getting, how much physical activity you are doing, and how well you’re caring for your physical needs.

Attending appointments, taking

medication as prescribed, and managing your health are all part of good physical self-care.

When it comes to physical self-care, ask yourself the following questions to assess whether there might be some areas you need to improve: Are you getting adequate sleep?

Is your diet fueling your body well?

Are you taking charge of your health?

Are you getting enough exercise?

Social Self-Care Socialization is key to self-care.

But, often, it’s hard to make time for friends and it’s easy to neglect your relationships when life gets busy.

Close connections are important to your well-being. The best way to cultivate and maintain

Page 8

close relationships is to put time and energy into building your relationships with others.

There isn’t a certain number of hours you should devote to your friends or work on your relationships.

Everyone has slightly different social needs. The key is to figure out what your social needs are and to build enough time in your schedule to create an optimal social life.

To assess your social self-care, consider: Are you getting enough face-toface time with your friends?

What are you doing to nurture your relationships with friends and family?

Mental Self-Care The way you think and the things that you’re filling your mind with greatly influence your psychological well-being.

Mental self-care includes doing things that keep your mind sharp, like puzzles, or learning about a subject that fascinates you.

You might find reading booksor watching movies that inspire you fuels your mind.

Mental self-care also involves doing things that help you stay mentally healthy. Practicing selfcompassion and acceptance, for example, helps you maintain a healthier inner dialogue.

Here are a few questions to consider when you think about your mental self-care: Are you making enough time for

Black & Pink News

activities that mentally stimulate you?

Are you doing proactive things to help you stay mentally healthy?

Spiritual Self-Care Research shows that a lifestyle including religion or spirituality is generally a healthier lifestyle.

Nurturing your spirit, however, doesn’t have to involve religion.

It can involve anything that helps you develop a deeper sense of meaning, understanding, or connection with the universe.

Whether you enjoy meditation, attending a religious service, or praying, spiritual self-care is important.

As you consider your spiritual life, ask yourself: What questions do you ask yourself about your life and experience?

Are you engaging in spiritual practices that you find fulfilling?

Emotional Self-Care It’s important to have healthy coping skills to deal with uncomfortable emotions, like anger, anxiety, and sadness. Emotional self-care may include activities that help you acknowledge and express your feelings on a regular basis.

Whether you talk to a partner or close friend about how you feel, or you set aside time for leisure activities that help you process your emotions, it’s important to incorporate

September 2019

emotional self-care into your life.

When assessing your emotional self-care strategies, consider these questions: Do you have healthy ways to process your emotions?

Do you incorporate activities into your life that help you feel recharged?

Develop Your Self-Care Plan Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all strategy. Your self-care plan will need to be customized to your needs.

A self-care plan for a busy college student who feels mentally stimulated all the time and has a bustling social life might need to emphasize physical self-care.

On the other hand, a retired person may need to incorporate more social self-care into their schedule to make sure that their social needs are being met.

Assess which areas of your life need some more attention and self-care.

And reassess your life often. As your situation changes, your selfcare needs are likely to shift too.

When you discover that you’re neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change.

You don’t have to tackle everything all at once. Identify one small step you can take to begin caring for yourself better.

Then, schedule time to focus on your needs. Even when you feel like you don’t have time to squeeze in one more thing, make self-care a priority. When you’re caring for all aspects of yourself, you’ll find that you are able to operate more effectively and efficiently.

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 9

Self-Care Techniques Disclaimer: We recognize that the prison system makes it incredibly difficult for people to be well and to practice self care. It’s a system that is not set up for people to succeed, and for our long-term community wellbeing we need to continue the work to dismantle it.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if your self-care practices aren’t perfect.

Think about what you’re doing now, and some small steps you can take to improve. Once those are part of your routine, think of some other small steps you can take. That’s all it is about—a series of small steps you take over time, not giant intimidating leaps.

We’re encouraging you to do self care because YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE VALUED. YOU DESERVE TO BE WELL.

BREATHING: Sometimes memories of trauma or abuse can come back to us and make it feel as if we are reliving

them. When that happens, it is important to try and return back to the present. One way to do that is through controlled breathing. Try inhaling slowly through your nose for a count of four, and then exhale through your mouth for a count of four.

If you have not tried breathing exercises before, start with just inhaling and exhaling for one minute. Work your way up and try for at least 10 minutes a day – it may take some practice and time before you can do controlled breathing for 10 minutes at a time.

GROUNDING: Grounding is an exercise that helps keep you in the present moment and in reality. It can be helpful

in managing overwhelming feelings, intense anxiety, or nerves. It can also help you regain control of your mental focus from a place of intense or high emotion. Grounding techniques can also help bring you back to the physical space where you are.

When memories of trauma make you feel outside of your body, these activities can bring you back.

54321: Name 5 things you can see in the room with you, 4 things you can physically feel against you, 3 things you can hear right now, 2 things you can smell right now, and 1 good thing about yourself.

Questions: Ask yourself questions to help bring you into this moment. Where am I? What day is it? What is the date? What is the month? What is the year? How old am I? What season is it? It is okay if you do not know the answers to these questions. If these questions are difficult, you may want to try another activity listed in this guide.

Description Game: Plant your feet firmly on the ground. Physically hold an object and try to describe each detail of it out loud like you wanted someone on the phone to be able to see it. Try this with a comforting object like a blanket or a favorite shirt. Now try it with an object that is cold. Try it with an object that is rough.

CREATIVE EXPRESSION: Whether it’s writing, drawing, or making music, expressing our story or

experiences can be an important tool to help us let go of emotion, pain, and/or trauma. Creative expression can use our whole body and brain and this helps us to remove trauma from where it may be stuck inside of us.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Healing is an ongoing process. As you work your way through these tips you may want to move on to other work. The work that you are doing is fantastic. Below are a few examples of places to reach out to when you are ready.: YOGA, You can write to the Prison Yoga Project and ask for a free book: The Prison Yoga Project, P.O. Box 426, San Quentin, CA 94964 | LGBT Books to Prisoners: write to the LGBT Books to Prisoners program and ask if they have books on certain subjects. : LGBT Books to Prisoners, c/o Social Justice Center Incubator, 1202 Williamson St #1, Madison, WI 53703. * select materials on this page are from the Self-Care on the Inside Guide, First Edition, April 2017, Written by: Everett Redente Featured artists: SRLP Prisoner Advisory Committee Members Shaylanna L., Miguel M., Nouchie V., S. Torma, Robert, Chad W., & Mr. Rivera

Page 10

Black & Pink News

September 2019

PHYSICAL SELF-CARE

Physical Self-Care is a vital part of maintaining a balanced, healthy, and wholesome life.

While some things are not fully controlable when it comes to food choices, etc. consider how you can both exist in this space, and make room for physical self-care. Part of all self-care is adapting to how it can be done when in different spaces.

1. How am I already practicing physical self-care?

2. What ways can I practice safe and healthy physical self-care that I am not already doing ?

3. What aspects of physical self-care ARE in my control right now? Which are NOT? How do I work within this system to change that?

4. What does my overall physical self-care plan look like? Breaking down a plan into three goals - what are they?

5. In the next six months, how can I hold myself accountable to my physical self-care plan?

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 11

MY PHYSICAL SELF-CARE PLAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 12

Black & Pink News

September 2019

SOCIAL SELF-CARE

We acknowledge that some forms of self-care might be harder to practice than others, including social self-care. Right now - in this moment - what does your social well-being look like? Social might mean writing to Black and Pink, surrounding yourself with family inside, or writing/communicating with others outside.

1. How am I already practicing social self-care?

2. What ways can I practice safe and healthy social self-care that I am not already doing ?

3. What aspects of social self-care ARE in my control right now? Which are NOT? How do I work within this system to change that?

4. What does my overall social self-care plan look like? Breaking down a plan into three goals - what are they?

5. In the next six months, how can I hold myself accountable to my social self-care plan?

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 13

MY SOCIAL SELF-CARE PLAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 14

Black & Pink News

September 2019

MENTAL SELF-CARE

Mental self-care is extremely important in sustaining yourself in all other aspects of living. Mental self-care includes things like therapy, talking to friends, checking in with yourself, practicing self-care techniques above, and more. How do you need support from others? What may trigger a mental struggle? Is there a way to avoid triggers? Is there a plan you have in place to practice self-care techniques if trauma memories surface? Have you ever practiced mental self-care before, if not, what would you like it to look like for you?

1. How am I already practicing mental self-care?

2. What ways can I practice safe and healthy mental self-care that I am not already doing ?

3. What aspects of mental self-care ARE in my control right now? Which are NOT? How do I work within this system to change that?

4. What does my overall mental self-care plan look like? Breaking down a plan into three goals what are they?

5. In the next six months, how can I hold myself accountable to my mental self-care plan?

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 15

MY MENTAL SELF-CARE PLAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 16

Black & Pink News

September 2019

SPIRITUAL SELF-CARE

For the purpose of this self-care exercise, it is important to note that spiritual selfcare does not necessarily mean religious, it just means “meaning�. Are you being introspective? Are you growing? Are you connecting?

1. How am I already practicing spiritual self-care?

2. What ways can I practice safe and healthy spiritual self-care that I am not already doing ?

3. What aspects of spiritual self-care ARE in my control right now? Which are NOT? How do I work within this system to change that?

4. What does my overall spiritual self-care plan look like? Breaking down a plan into three goals - what are they?

5. In the next six months, how can I hold myself accountable to my spiritual self-care plan?

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 17

MY SPIRITUAL SELF-CARE PLAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 18

Black & Pink News

September 2019

EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE

Emotional self-care is important to maintaining healthy relationships with others and yourself! It is also important for us to allow ourselves to feel every emotion, make space for it, name it, and be introspective about why we are experiencing it! Self-awareness and self-validation are the starting blocks for good emotional self-care.

1. How am I already practicing emotional self-care?

2. What ways can I practice safe and healthy emotional self-care that I am not already doing ?

3. What aspects of emotional self-care ARE in my control right now? Which are NOT? How do I work within this system to change that?

4. What does my overall emotional self-care plan look like? Breaking down a plan into three goals - what are they?

5. In the next six months, how can I hold myself accountable to my emotional selfcare plan?

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 19

MY EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE PLAN ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 20

Black & Pink News

September 2019

Letters From the Inside Dearest family, Hey y’all! It’s Ms. Talia here once again. Before I get into things too heavy let me send some love n light to all the family that spread out across the state of MD. I miss the girls & gays up at MCTC & hope them rednecks ain’t treating y’all as bad as they did me. To all of y’all though I send much love. Although, keeping it real for a minute, some of y’all ain’t have much to do with me and didn’t think too highly of me, I’ll admit that I wasn’t the easiest bitch to be friends with. To be fair though, I was still coming to terms with who & what I am & trying to get rid of the transphobia & selfhate that I had internalized from the years of dealing with my bigot family. I hadn’t even realized this until just recently and at the same time realized that caused me to act like an aloof entitled bitch so I owe y’all an apology & hopefully we can catch up on the street & I can give it to you in person. Y’all don’t even KNOW what them bastard rednecks did to me & it still hurts to think about it but I don’t wanna go sour so let’s just say they gonna get theirs...

Anyway I think it was towards the middle of last year when I was at Dorsey Run that I realized that I needed to truly accept myself before anyone else could accept me and that meant to stop saying I identify as female as if to say there is something wrong with saying that I am a TRANS-woman. I realized that although I’m older than most of y’all, I coulda learned a lot from you if I’d stopped being so “Oh poor Talia...”

And stopped thinking only of me, me, me. It perhaps is ironic that this epiphany came when I was literally the ONLY girl in the facility, like no queers, no butch-queens, no femmes, no gay men, no transpeople, NOONE for me to chill with or TALK to, or even think about…

That shit got real lonely & it was then that I really started to develop from the ‘mones so naturally the “trade” came calling. It dawned on me that as scared as I felt & uncomfortable as I was I shoulda remembered a couple of y’all had already been there, done that & came out stronger for it & I truly honestly respected & loved y’all in a much more correct way. Y’all had already come to terms with & were secure in yourselves & I had thought I was that girl who had shit figured out but I shoulda realized I really didn’t know a damn thing. I can see what y’all meant when you said I don’t/didn’t behave “like a real trans-person” the whole time I was too damn defensive, aggressive, & all pity-me to learn a thing or be a sister to y’all & that was my loss.

Although it sucks I didn’t see it earlier I want y’all to know I do now...maybe it’s being on the hormones for 2 years & counting, maybe it’s my concerted effort to “work on me” or maybe it’s my spirituality but hindsight being what it is I do regret that I never let y’all be my friends. I decided not to make that mistake again even though it’s highly doubtful I’ll ever get the chance I had up there.

Down here it’s lonely as hell! I’m the ONLY LGBTQIA person here (openly LGBTQIA that is) other than staff & I am even more of a social pariah here than up there.

I’m treated well by staff but all the “trade” are supreme “on-the-DL” & my man just got shipped out for a stupid ticket so I’m VERY alone.

Virtually noone talks to me/etc cuz we’re in dorms here at central laundry & it’s just...lonely. I don’t even have a wicca service here cuz I don’t have enough people to sign up who are registered as wiccan. As such I’ve started a letter writing campaign to advocate for us ALL with DPSCS headquarters.

I am trying to get across-theboard statewide policy put in place that will make them follow their own Executive Directive they created about transgender (AKA gender dysphoric) people in MD prison. I am also trying to set a precedent for surgeries etc to be allowed to us as well as makeup.

Ask about Executive Directive Number: OPS.131.0001. It was created in 2016 just after I started my hormones in response to my lawyers writing headquarters. It lays out the exact procedure staff are supposed to follow for transgender (AKA gender dysphoric) inmates in MD. Get a copy of it somehow so you can quote it & know your rights!

That way if you gotta write an ARP you’ll know what to say! Also get a copy of the PREA Standards and the NCHHC Statement of Policy for Treatment of Gender Dysphoria & if possible got the WPATH Standards of Care. These will help you

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 4

fight that’s

for what

treatment if you want.

Anyway girls & gays this is Lady Jade saying to all my sisters & brothers stay strong my lovelies, I for one love you (but especially to y’all in MD!) Alright, now a couple quick shoutouts to the rest of the family at B&P - To Jada & all the girls & gays in PA congratulations! on winning the proper treatment & such -To Arya Serenity & all y’all up in Rhode Island also a big congrats!

- To all y’all down in TX I have cried a number of times reading about some of horrors y’all get put through down there. Just, hell, keep ya head up is so cliche-asfuck but keep up the good fight & little acts of insurrection & stay safe. Know y’all got family who cares even if it is only a small amount of light in the darkness...

- Mecca in OH I loved your uplifting letter & what caught me for real was the beginning where you said “the thought of this society of ours acting like gazelles in the presence of hyenas terrifies me deeply. We are lions and we can’t ever forget the unity of the lion pride...” Man that hits on so many levels but to me it is a reminder that although strong alone we are a force to be reckoned with as a community if we can put aside the back-biting, shade-throwing, catty BS that we often allow “the trade” to get us engaging in. I could go on because much of your letter rang wise and true & I applaud you! *hug* -To everyone else, keep strong

support each other and don’t let your sisters or brothers throw themselves to the wolves if you can help it. Lift each other up, help each other, look out for each other.

It’s time we realize that we can only truly win together instead of alone.

We can’t battle the oppressors if we oppress each other. That’s doing “their” work for “them.”

I love you all!

With love & light, Talia Jade (MD)

Black and Pink, My loving family. I wanna thank Black and Pink for making it possible for us to have such a great magazine to read. And thanks for all of you who write as well.

I can relate to a lot of you in so many ways and I am grateful to hear your story. Well anyway let me introduce myself. I am a 33 year old transgender doing time in a Oklahoma men prison.

It’s hard being transgender in prison but what makes it harder is when transgender gays queens whatever you label yourself talks about another say behind their back. We are alone, hated, talked about and looked down on so why be backstabbing and bad mouth your own kind? It’s so tacky.

Don’t you think we need to stick up for each other and spread positive vibes not hate. So next time you hear another LGBT talk about another person. Try and say hey, we don’t need to talk bad about each other. We get hated on by straight people enough.

Page 21

We really shouldn’t talk bad about our own people like that. Or if you are you should really think about what you’re saying. Words can cut someone like a sharp knife. You never know what the other person is going through. And a lot of LGBT have either have attempted suicide or have thought about it. Stop all the back talking and support your gays trans bis queers. Help them out by lending an ear. They might need someone to listen to them.

Spread positive vibes, not back talk or hatefulness. Well I am done for now so I hope you got the point K? Love, Ms. Raven (OK) CCF

I received my second Black & Pink newsletter May 2018.

I have been encouraged by every letter that I read to know that I’m not alone. And I really appreciate the love and support from my fellow LGBTQ Community. My name is Robert AKA Redd. I’m 28 years old and I dealt with many struggles when I was in the MO Department of Corrections. Other inmates had me wanted to hide my true self but I couldn’t cause I knew who I was.

I was sexually approached by other inmates and that led to nothing but trouble and harassment. I was transferred many times to different prisons. All eyes were on me cause I was the only homosexual with long beautiful bright red hair. My first day on the yard the guys were all over me. They argued like a bunch of girls about which one was going to be my man but they was all mad when I turned them all down.

Page 22

Men tried to force me to be with them. They tried to extort me for sex and money but I wasn’t going for it. They didn’t know I was a seven degree black belt and a former golden glove boxer. The first fight I had in MO DOC was talked about my whole seven years there. Then I finally got transferred to a prison where I felt comfortable with my own type of people. Then I found a man and settled down till I was released in April 2015.

I completed my entire seven year sentence and I was deemed svp here in Missouri. I was brought to MO DMH to do more time. I’m involved in the classes and treatment and I’m doing what is needed for me to go home. Since being here I have decided to cut may hair, grow my body hair, and start working out. In two years I lost 60 pounds and turned into a solid brick. I have had second thought cause I don’t feel comfortable. The only reason I did this is so I wouldn’t be harassed by these people here.

What do you all think I should do.

I’m looking for someone to write and talk to outside of prison. I had a bunch of pen pals I was writing that are in prison, but the treatment staff here told me if I ever wanted to be released I would have to quit writing people in prison.

So I did and now I’m so lonely.

I think I have about 4-5 more years to do here then I will be free. But the catch is I will be on a life-time ankle monitor. I hate being judged on my past and about who I am but I can’t stop it. They will be judged when it is their time to be released from here.

I’m proud to be bisexual.

And I plan to stand strong and

Black & Pink News

tall for my LGBTQ community and our equality rights. To all my brothers and sisters. Keep your heads up and stay strong. God bless.

Till next time.

With love. Be blessed.

Love always, Redd (MI) I’ll start by saying I’m not sure how this gender thing works I used to think I was bi. I have known I did like the same sex I like women too but there still the attraction of man and cross-dressing. I been this way since I was 12-years-old, I been in 1 marriage she could not do the 46-year-sentence with me, I’m not out in here looking for a relationship in here I know me and if I got me someone I’d not try to get out. This is my third time lockup my first was in FL. I should be out this year, I see parole sept 2019.

My family know I’m bi, but don’t know I’m trans? I got a free world BF that knows what I like her name Miss Rebecca and she is why I’m writing this. She help me know it’s ok to be me.

Thank you for being a real friend.

Love all Jylnn (AR) Dear Black and Pink, How is my LGBT family. This is Kitty Kat out of NC. I’m doing a lot better now, every day get a little better for me. I been by myself going on 6 months now. I want all of y’all to remember: Don’t say the word you love someone if you don’t. We have enough hatred and pain in our world as it is. I want all my sisters and brothers to take time out of each

September 2019

day to tell yourself that you love yourself and you’re proud of yourself. I am very grateful to be part of y’all life. I don’t allow nothing to get in my way, I’m focus on my medium custodies.

My mind is on growing and become a better person 2018. For all my pagan people out there bless it be to y’all, I keep all of my family in my heart.

That’s what keep me positive and going beside my family. I know that we all is going through something in our own lives. The son will shine on our sadness. We don’t need to law down and let love lie. Each and all of us need to ALWAYS help another. I want to thank a very good friend also Ronald out of Fairmont, NC. He showed me a lot on being true to self and always learning.

So please all of my LGBT people all of my loving family please keep going strong. To my friend Earnest thank you a lot Earnest.

Butterfuly thank you for being there when I needed an ear. I love each and every one of y’all. People may hate us but they can’t stop our love. I hope that the world change and get better, no matter who the president or what year we’re in. We as a people have to want to change ourselves. I am starting with myself.

I know what been alone feel like, so let’s help nobody to feel alone as a unit. Well, I love all of y’all.

I love all of my people.

LGBT pride Kitty Kat (NC)

Good morning to my brothers and sisters of the LGBTQ community and Black&Pink family.

Volume 10, Issue 4

I greet the family from the bellow of the beast of [Illinois] Corrr.

CNTR. This letter should have been written a long time ago.

Many a times I actually started out to write you and the Family Jason. But the letters ended up to be too personal for my taste that it pained me so much to write.

At the time [2014] I was a new Black and Pink member about to be released after serving 7 1/2 years.

It was through the grace of god that I was ever introduced to Black and Pink for when I was released I battled with my own Demons. I even attempted to take my own life.

When I though I was alone “L.T” was there to take me to the hospital A die hard Black& Pink member at the hospital. Due to the overdose it was discovered that I had also a mild stroke. That was when I came home adjusting to my new apartment every issue one could be complemented with from not having a place to stay, not having a job, or simply catching a new bid on drug relapse. Black & Pink was there for me Megan, Ricky, Tanya, Debbie, Jacob, Erin, Afrika, Eddie, Nikki, Monica, Dana, Nadia, Jason, LT, and all that I’ve not mention.

You have all been dear to me and exemplify every aspect what family.

For this I am FOREVER loyal and dedicated to Black & Pink for this.

I was tested positive for Hep C.I have launched a civil suit against ---Corr. CNTR and ---Corr. CNTR for not treating me for Hep C. I recently won a civil suit against Chicago Police Depart. for police brutality. Part of my settlement went to ward a donations to Black & Pink (Chicago) so that I can give back to those who freely gave to me.

blackandpink.org

Give back. For what you give goes to a good cause. It goes to those that may not have; that may be reading this letter it goes to you. For those that can’t afford a fan, or can;t afford to place a call to talk to a kind voice it goes to you. I’ll be release in 2020. I look forward (if gods will) to advocating for the Black & Pink family.

Love you and in Solidarity, Jimmie (IL)

Black + Pink, What a wild year it’s been! For me, it’s been a year of change, and increasingly of honesty with myself and others. My world has grown, and I find myself part of communities that were mostly foreign to me before.

I’ve returned to the Wiccan religion I’d last practiced nearly 20 years ago, and again feel the warmth and acceptance of the Wiccan community that attracted me to Wicca all those years ago. At the same time, while I’ve returned to a celebration and recognition of the divine feminine in my spiritual life, I’ve also begun a celebration and recognition of the divine feminine in myself, and now I’m a part of this community too.

It’s incredible to me that while these walls have confined me, the time I’ve been given has allowed me to search myself and find a place for myself in these inclusive and accepting communities. I’m well beyond excited. I feel like a teenager, just figuring out who I am and how I fit in the world. Emerging from the stripped-down experience of prison isn’t too different from that at all, I feel like I’m starting all over.

Page 23

At the same time, I’ve noticed a funny thing about labels; even those that we use, when it comes to alphabet soup sexual identity, I’m comfortable with a well-rounded “B”. What I’m finding, though, is that our labels aren’t too different than political party labels. They’re heavily loaded. Once a person is aware of a label, they begin making a load of assumptions. Republicans?

Must be a gun-toting, Biblethumping, business-loving, walking ecological disaster. Democrat? Gotta be a socialist, tree-hugging, fiscally unconscious, threat to borders and probably national security.

Gay? Surely an oversexed, flamboyant, flag-waving, can’t think about anything but sex, corrupter of traditional values. I really hate how quickly people make somebody of these knee-jerk judgements of people; judgements of a label, not an individual. Me? I like to hold hands and share the music I love, I love hugs and while I’m undeniably a sexual creature, I’m even more overtly an affectionate creature, and more often than not, that has nothing to do with sex. I guess my point is that while I’ve accepted a label, I deny any validity given to any assumptions about myself based on that label.

I’m part of a beautiful community now, but I’m still an individual, and I hope nobody loses sight of that, including myself.

ZeKe (FL)

Dear Family, I want to give a shout out to the one and only Black and Pink family. I

Page 24

read the June/July 2018 issue and I can relate to most of the situations that we all go through on a daily basis. As for Chris M (WI) I want to send my best wishes to you in the upcoming future consisting with all you are going through. I am 24, white, male who is openly gay. I went through the things you are experiencing, except my mother passed away from cancer and my Poppy died from a stroke. When I lost my mother, I just drank the nights away. My boss had me see out dept shrink, but I wouldn’t listen to what she was saying, I just knew that drinking felt good. But guess what? The next day I woke up in the Hospital and my colleague said “Lieutenant you’re very lucky.” I couldn’t understand what he meant, well he informed me that I drank so much alcohol that I passed out.

Guess what my colleague said to me?

He said “We care for you, so stop being selfish and let us help.” All that time I only thought about one thing and that was how I am only feeling.

What I am saying is “DON’T” be afraid to reach out for help.

That goes for everybody. So if you’re going through a rough time ask for help. I don’t care if it is you asking for help in regards to helping you read something that is irrelevant just ask for help. Don’t be like me and take it in your own hands that leads to unhealthy decisions. Because those decisions could damage you more than you my believe. We signed up to receive the newsletters for a reason and that reason is because we want to be understood and treated the same, but more important it is because we can be loved, cared, accepted and treated equally, as one great big family.

Black & Pink News

And that is exactly what we are a one great big family. When you see someone down go talk to them, they might be experiencing a situation you went through and you never know you could be saving his life.

Always remember this. Everything always starts off by a situation which can lead to unhealthy things such as (thoughts, actions, etc).

Don’t let nobody bring you down, if you do then you failed. Always stay strong, keep your head held high and walk with pride. When I first wrote to Black and Pink I didn’t know how to go about doing it because if I screwed up I’d be in the embarrassing stage. If I did screw up, I would feel like a screw up but guess who made me strong?

The Black and Pink family. How? Because nobody in our family will judge us. They accept us for us and that’s what makes everything about Black and Pink unique. I don’t regret writing to Black and Pink.

Use this knowledge/advice and pay it forward to someone in need of help. You all will do fine and in my eyes nobody is perfect. So nobody should judge. For anyone that don’t know me I’m Zack AKA Casper.

- Casper (PA) Dear Black and Pink, I am 24, everyone calls me Dizz. I learned about Black & Pink through a good friend of mine. But currently I was placed in Segregation due to an assault ticket related to prejudice of the lifestyle. So I no longer have access to the Newsletter so I need to finally subscribe.

Anyway Ive been openly gay wince 14 and this magazine brightens up my day every time I read one its really wonderful. Theres a lot of people

September 2019

in the Michigan Prison System who receive Black and Pink News.

Which is a needed resource here especially at this facility at Alger Correctional Facility were not only fighting against Homophobic prisoners who are constantly testing us but we also have to worry about the c/o’s who are even worse.

A gay prisoner cant even talk to another known Homosexual without bein split up for bein in a relationship or something. On top of that they act like we cant lock together so now you have to worry about a gang banger as a bunkee or a predator whos gonna try to forcibly have sex with you its just never ending battle in the MDOC for a gay man just trying to be theirselves.

Thats why we all stick together here or try to when they aint splitting everyone up all the time.

I have accomplished one good thing here and that was I met my Baby Brandon I introduced him to mom and everything so that was unexpected in this environment in 3 1/2 years I have never introduce anyone to my mom yet so that says something it has been a hard fought battle for both of us in the year weve been around each other everytime we get something good goin the MDOC steps in to ruin it or make it harder. Sometimes you have to fight for the things you want in life which makes for a bigger reward at the end of the road.

I love you Brandon.

From your brother in the struggle with love and loyalty, - Dizz xoxoxo (MI)

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 25

Poetry From the Inside COMING OUT It’s hard to gain acceptance When you don’t accept yourself.

Holding on to endless fears, The ones you’ve always felt.

But times are hard for all of us, So know you’re not alone.

Cause even when you’re feeling lost, Your heart will lead you home.

We’ve all been there and all done that, Hidden our true selves away.

Just know when you’re ready we’ll all be here, To share in your brighter days.

NEARLY THE SAME I feel one way and look another, I endlessly wonder why.

Why must I suffer within this life, One with too much sorrow to cry?

But not matter how I look or act, No matter what’s my name.

I am who I am and proudly I say, that no one is nearly the same.

TREAT ME EQUAL Who told you that, And when was this, Just what did they say?

I’ll make their life so dark and hard Beginning with this day.

They speak on things They do not know, Ignore their lacking mind.

Now its my turn, to teach you and tell You all you’ll need to find.

I’m very unique, ‘Cause my body’s a boys Yet my mind belongs to a girl.

Born this way, It’s the life I was given, On the day I entered this world.

I don’t know why, So please don’t ask, But one thing is so true.

Regardless of gender, Race or religion, Im human just like you.

JaLynn (MI)

If I Died Today If I died today Would anyone grieve for me tomorrow Is there someone who cares enough To express sadness and sorrow If I died today Would anyone remember my face Could I just fade away Without a trace If I died today Would anyone need to be consoled with a hug Or would I even be cast away Before the grave could even be dug If I died today Would anyone tell stories about my life Will they reminisce on the good times

And stow away the strife If I died today Would anyone stain their cheeks with tears Does anyone realize That these are just a few of my fears Drowning in the Past Navigating through the enigma That controls the outcome of destiny Bound by the pleasure that clutches my essence While it vibrates through the rest of me Haunted by such horrid memories That would make a bad man cringe The only relief from the sadness Is found by the prick of a syringe Barely surviving through the sickness And pain that each morning brings Oblivious to the world just outside my window Where the blue jay chirps and sings Feverishly trying to sedate the past So that the future doesn’t decay Flooding my veins with the poison That it takes to make everything okay Temporarily numbing the emotions That continue to reside inside my head No longer dwelling on the question Just how much better would things be if I were dead Charles (KY)

Page 26

Black & Pink News

Savior, I recognize a lot of people didn’t know I was bless up.

Don’t tell me you only knew me when I was messed up.

Head down and broken like a chest nut.

If that’s the case withness me today with my head held high and my chest up.

Not broken hearted like I used to be but a new brother in christ because I confessed up.

I’m a child of GOD with my soul dressed up.

Anybody can do it once they turn they life over to the lord because that was a sign telling me I need to rest up.

Sometimes in life we gone have to go through trials and tribulations in order to see what’s ahead because if we don’t we’ll never be able to tighten our vest up.

Stay heavily armoured with sword in hand because the devil always tryen to test what, test us.

If we don’t stay ready for the temptations we only gone find ourselves messed up.

That’s why I keep praising God because he’s always showing me to throw my best up!

LGBTQ strong... we come to far so we better not... mess this up!

I have not entered the room, I hope to soon,I am the moon, I’ll give you a boon Jenifer Tabitha Say (IL)

I’ve traveled paths you’ve yet to walk learned lessons old and new and now this wisdom of my life I’m Blessed To Share With You Let kindness spread like sunshine embrace those who are sad respect their dignity, give them joy And Leave Them Feeling Glad Forgive those who might hurt you and though you have your pride listen closely to their viewpoint Try To See The Otherside Walk softly when you’re angry try not to take offense invoke your sense of humor Laughter’s Power is Immense!

Express what you are feeling your beliefs you should uphold don’t shy away from what is right Be Courageous and Be Bold

Ra’Shawn (OH)

Keep hope right in your pocket it will guide you day by day take it out when it is needed When it’s near, you’ll find a way

“Trans”

Tony (WA)

Will it last, this brand new past, creaking mast, life goes fast.

A brand new shore, I still want more, collecting love, I’m through the door.

Freedom – 7/29/16 I sit here on a mountain top with people down below.

Most of them truly hate me, though they’ll never really know.

Who I am and what I’m about, they just believe the lies.

September 2019

That Judge and Jury put on me, they do not hear my cries.

For freedom, justice and peace of mind, I know I will be free.

I sit here on this mountain top, the world is at my feet.

My husband stands beside me, a victim of the street.

Like me a judge destroyed his life.

Disowned by his family.

He sees the girl behind the mask. In love we’re both set free.

“Freedom for all, Land of the Brave,” these lies they tell the people.

I’m locked in here, innocent of crime. I say, “Freedom to the people!!!”

The day shall come, when I am free, that the boy I am will die.

The girl who’s sleeping deep inside will see no need to hide.

Prisons gone, prejudice destroyed, this day I long to see.

My love and I will live in a land where Freedom’s truly free!

Kylie (ID)

I’m Finally Out All the ones who are stuck I wish them well!

All of those who are jealous I say farewell!

I’m out and proud And my actions are loud I have so much passion I have so much love to give Thank God I live!

Robert (OH)

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Page 27

JOURNAL This issue of Black and Pink News handles of great deal of material for you to be introspective and selfinvestigating with! We wanted to make sure you had both the space and the tools to create a self-care plan for youself. Use the following pages to continue thoughts from previous pages, expand on areas you want to work on, or however you see fit. This is your space to create!

____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Page 28

Black & Pink News

September 2019

____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Volume 10, Issue 4

blackandpink.org

Draw

Page 29

Page 30

September 2019

Black & Pink News

Call for Submissions Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.

To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.

Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 6223 Maple St #4600 Omaha, NE 68104 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.

If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it!

Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues.

Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing!

Email us: members@blackandpink.org

If you would like to request: If you would like to request:

Address the envelope to: Address the envelope to:

Newspaper Subscriptions, Penpal Program, Address Change, or Volunteering

Black & Pink — General

Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art

Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions

Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback

Black & Pink — Feedback

Black & Pink Religious Zine

Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside

Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)

Black & Pink — Advocacy

Submit to or request Erotica Zine

Black & Pink — HOT PINK

Stop Your Newspaper Subscription

Black & Pink — STOP Subscription

artwork by Brooke Fischer courtesy of amplifier.org

artwork by Lissa Brown courtesy of amplifier.org