Black and Pink News
artwork by munk one, courtesy of amplifier.org
Special HIV/AIDS Issue: February 2019
artwork by kate deciccio, courtesy of amplifier.org
Volume 10, Issue 1
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A message from Dominique...
CALLING ALL WRITERS.
Hello Family! As we begin this new year I want to say thank you for all of the letters you send, emails and calls. Your kind wishes and powerful thoughts have been a cornerstone to my success as I celebrate my 1 year anniversary as National Director. Last year we were building a foundation and this year we have the space to do more as an organization, challenge ourselves as organizers and look to the future of Black and Pink. I can’t do that work alone - I’m eternally thankful to the Black and Pink Board of Directors (Zahara, Tanya and Reed) and our incredible Chapters across the country. Here in Omaha, Nebraska at the National Office we have expanded our team with a new National Communications Manager - Kimberley O’Donnell! She’ll be working on new processes to update our mail program,executing the new pen pal database and taking the
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role as Lead Editor of the newsletter along with 50 million other things because that’s what we all do lol. I’ll let Kim further introduce herself in the following pages. Again I love you all. Through this work I’ve been able to see myself clearly and I love who that is. To say I’m excited for 2019 would be an understatement! Before I go - I had the honor of working with the team from The Tenth Magazine and we are partnering to amplify the voices of Incarcerated Black Queer Identified folks. If your work is used I will personally write you back and navigate your honorarium delivery. If not used for the magazine, we will feature you in a future Black and Pink issue!
The Tenth Magazine, an independent publication that features the ideas and aesthetics of the Black LGBTQ community, is calling for submissions from writers on the inside. In our Sixth Issue: Pen Pals, we focus on bringing the storytelling of the Black queer perspective to the conversation around the crisis of mass incarceration in America, and that story to the community at large. We encourage guest writers to explore ideas or lived experiences through written essays from 2-4K words - an honorarium of $200.00 will be provided. Please add ATTENTION: The Tenth Submission. Sending you love and light and great skin darlings!!! Xoxo, Dominique Morgan National Director Black and Pink, Inc. Omaha, NE As a young adult, Dominique Morgan spent 18 months placed in solitary confinement at the Tecumseh State Correctional Institution. From this isolated and dehumanizing space he began to write songs as a survival tactic to save his mind and spirit. From those experiences grew a robust career in social justice advocacy and music practice that serves as testimony to the power of emotional connection. Dominique explains that his work “looks at those of us who can be labeled as bad, unworthy and unredeemable.” Placed within the limiting recreation of a confinement cell, the artist shares songs that he’s never performed before, composed on the back of inmate request forms--“kites”. Dominique offers his own story to reveal the reality and humanity of the nearly 100,000 individuals currently in solitary confinement in this country, and how vital the arts are as a refuge and means of connectedness for all populations. Dominique will be touring with the performance all year.
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In This Issue News you can use A HIV Cure by 2020? A Review of the Future of HIV Therapy pages 5-7 Trump will Pledge an End to HIV Transmissions in State of the Union page 8 HIV Treatment Has Steadily Improved page 9 The Road Ahead for HIV Research pages 10-13 Undetectable Equals Untransmittable page 14 Fields of Blood: My Life as a Prison Laborer in Texas pages 15-16 A Letter From Kimberley O’Donnell pages 17-18 Black & Pink family Letters pages 19-34 Poetry pages 39-45 Submit to Black and Pink! page 46
Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life. Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.
February 2019 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!
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We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding. Restrictions: The hotline is not a n-umber to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper. The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts. Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our
Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
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An HIV Cure by 2020? A Review of the Future of HIV Therapy By Clara Rodriguez Fernandez
Labiotech July 7, 2018
HIV research has come a long way since the disease was discovered in the 1980’s. Antiretroviral therapy was a major milestone that has changed the lives of millions, but the goal now is to find an HIV cure before 2020. We’ve scanned the biotech industry to identify the most promising developments towards finding the cure. Ten years ago, an HIV patient was cured of the disease for the first time anywhere in the world. The ‘Berlin patient,’ Timothy
Ray Brown, received a bone marrow transplant from a donor who was naturally resistant to HIV. He has remained off antiretroviral therapy since the day of his transplant. When the case was announced, the medical world went nuts. Had we finally achieved an HIV cure? Unfortunately, the answer remains, “not yet”. Attempts to replicate the Berlin patient case have not been successful and the harsh procedure of bone marrow transplants carry high risks for HIV-positive patients. There have been improvements on antiretroviral drugs to reduce their dosage, and HIV vaccines
are underway, but an HIV cure has remained elusive. The year 2020 will bring us close to the 50-year mark after HIV was first described. Several organizations are pushing the development of a first functional cure — one that leaves people living with HIV healthy and medication-free without necessarily wiping the virus completely — to 2020. But how close are we to reaching this goal? Let’s have a look at the most advanced strategies to make a a functional HIV cure. Stopping the replication of HIV HIV research has come a long way
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since the disease was discovered in the 1980’s. Antiretroviral therapy was a major milestone that has changed the lives of millions, but the goal now is to find an HIV cure before 2020. We’ve scanned the biotech industry to identify the most promising developments towards finding the cure. Ten years ago, an HIV patient was cured of the disease for the first time anywhere in the world. The ‘Berlin patient,’ Timothy Ray Brown, received a bone marrow transplant from a donor who was naturally resistant to HIV. He has remained off antiretroviral therapy since the day of his transplant. When the case was announced, the medical world went nuts. Had we finally achieved an HIV cure? Unfortunately, the answer remains, “not yet”. Attempts to replicate the Berlin patient case have not been successful and the harsh procedure of bone marrow transplants carry high risks for HIV-positive patients. There have been improvements on antiretroviral drugs to reduce their dosage, and HIV vaccines are underway, but an HIV cure has remained elusive. The year 2020 will bring us close to the
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50-year mark after HIV was first described. Several organizations are pushing the development of a first functional cure — one that leaves people living with HIV healthy and medication-free without necessarily wiping the virus completely — to 2020. But how close are we to reach this goal? Let’s have a look at the most advanced strategies to make a functional HIV cure. Stopping the replication of HIV One of the most advanced HIV treatments seeks to inhibit the virus’ ability to replicate its RNA and produce more copies of itself. A similar approach is commonly used to treat herpes infections, and although it doesn’t get fully rid of the virus, it can stop its spread. The French company Abivax showed last year in a clinical trial that this approach has the potential to become a functional cure for HIV. The key to its potential is that it can target the reservoir of HIV viruses that “hide” inactive within our cells. “Current therapies suppress the virus in circulation by inhibiting the formation of new viruses, but they don’t touch the reservoir. Once you stop, the virus comes back in 10-14 days,” says Hartmut Ehrlich,
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CEO of Abivax. “ABX464 is the first drug candidate ever shown to reduce the HIV reservoir.” The drug, called ABX464, binds to a specific sequence in the RNA of the virus, inhibiting its replication. In a Phase 2a trial, several patients were given the drug in addition to antiretroviral therapy. Eight out of 15 patients treated with ABX464 showed a 25% to 50% reduction of their HIV reservoir after 28 days, compared to no reduction in those taking only antiretroviral therapy. Ehrlich highlights that a key factor to the potential of this drug is that it doesn’t only target the reservoir of HIV hiding in blood cells, but also the latent viruses hiding in the intestine, the largest reservoir of HIV. The company is now planning a Phase 2b clinical trial to confirm the effects of the drug in the long term. “We will follow about 200 patients for 6 to 9 months to find the maximum level of reservoir reduction and how long it takes to achieve it,” says Ehrlich. “That will take us into the first half of 2020, when we could start preparing for Phase 3.” Shock and kill Another approach that is becoming popular in the fight against HIV also goes after the hidden HIV reservoir. The “shock and kill” or “kick and kill” approach uses latency-reversing agents (LRAs) that activate or “kick” the latent HIV reservoir, making it possible for standard antiretroviral therapy to “kill” these viruses. In 2016, a group of UK universities reported promising results from one patient treated with this approach. The news went viral, but the researchers warned everyone that these were only preliminary
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results. The full results of the 50 patients enrolled in the trial are expected later this year. Similar early results were recently reported. Gilead, one of the leaders in HIV medication, has also started clinical trials with a similar approach. In Norway, Bionor is testing a similar strategy using a double vaccine. One stimulates the production of antibodies that block the replication of HIV, while the other attacks the reservoir. So far, however, this approach has not proven its potential in human studies. Last year, one of the most advanced trials testing this shock and kill approach — a Phase 1b/2a run by Berlin-based Mologen — reported that although the drug could help manage HIV infections, it was not successful at reducing the HIV reservoir. And a recent study has shown that currently available LRAs only activate less than 5% of the HIV reservoir. Immunotherapy What makes HIV so dangerous is that it attacks the immune system, leaving people unprotected against infections. But what if we could supercharge immune cells to fight back? That’s the reasoning behind immunotherapies. Researchers in Oxford and Barcelona reported last year that five out of 15 patients in a clinical trial were clear of HIV for 7 months without antiretroviral therapy, thanks to an immunotherapy that primes the immune system against the virus. Their approach combines a drug to activate the hidden HIV reservoir with a vaccine that can induce an immune response thousands of times stronger than usual.
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While they showed that immunotherapy can be effective against HIV, the results still need to be confirmed, as well as what makes some patients respond while others don’t. Bill Gates has been strongly supporting the development of HIV immunotherapies. One of its investments is in Immunocore. This company in Oxford has designed T cell receptors that can seek and bind HIV and instruct immune T cells to kill any HIV-infected cells, even when their HIV levels are very low — as is often the case of the HIV reservoir cells. The approach has been shown to work in human tissue samples, and the next step will be to confirm whether it works in people living with HIV. But one of the most advanced immunotherapies at the moment is a vaccine being developed by the French InnaVirVax. The vaccine, called VAC-3S, stimulates the production of antibodies against the HIV protein 3S, making T cells attack the virus. “Our approach is totally different to other vaccines, which boost an HIV-specific response,” says Joël Crouzet, CEO of InnaVirVax. “We promote an immune recovery, so that the immune system as all the tools to better recognize and eliminate the virus.” After completing a Phase 2a trial, InnaVirVax is now testing VAC3S in combination with a DNAbased vaccine from the Finnish FIT Biotech, which both parties expect could lead to a functional cure. Gene therapy It is estimated that about 1% of the people in the world are naturally immune to HIV. The reason is a
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genetic mutation on the gene that encodes CCR5, a protein on the surface of immune cells that the HIV virus uses to enter and infect them. People with this mutation are missing part of the CCR5 protein, making it impossible for HIV to bind to it. Using gene therapy, it would, in theory, be possible to edit our DNA and introduce this mutation to stop HIV. The company extracts the patient’s immune cells and uses zinc finger nucleases to edit their DNA to make them resistant to HIV. Sangamo reported in 2016 that four out of nine patients treated with this gene therapy in one of the arms of a Phase 2 trial were able to remain off antiretroviral therapy with undetectable levels of HIV, and full results of the trial are expected this year. When will we have an HIV cure? Although there are several approaches that could eventually bring a functional HIV cure, there are still some challenges ahead. One of the biggest concerns around any HIV treatments is the virus’ ability to quickly mutate and develop resistance, and for many of these new approaches there is still no data on whether the virus will be able to become resistant. So far, none of these functional cures have reached late-stage clinical testing, meaning it doesn’t seem likely that we will meet the goal of having an HIV cure by 2020. However, that year will likely mark an important milestone as the first late-stage trials are due to start that year. If successful, that could bring the approval of the first functional HIV cure in ten years.
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Black & Pink News
February 2019
Trump Will Pledge an End to HIV Transmission in State of the Union
POZ December 31, 2018
LGBTQ Nation February 4, 2019
Researchers conducted a systematic review of antiretroviral treatment outcomes since 1994 among 78,000 people with HIV. The success rates of antiretroviral (ARV) treatment have steadily improved since effective combination HIV therapy first entered advanced clinical trials in the mid-1990s, aidsmap reports.
Today, more than 1.1 million Americans are living with HIV, and there are some 40,000 new infections every year. Donald Trump is expected to use the State of the Union address to promise an end to HIV transmission by the year 2030. Four unnamed sources who are familiar with Trump’s speech told Politico that Trump will announce a plan that has been pushed by Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar and CDC Director Robert Redfield. Under the plan, health officials would spend the next five years focusing on communities with the most new HIV transmissions in 20 states.
Publishing their findings in the journal AIDS, researchers conducted a systematic review of ARV treatment outcomes among 77,999 people with HIV who participated in 181 studies between 1994 and 2017. A total of 44.2 percent of the participants took Truvada (tenofovir disoproxil fumarate, or TDF/emtricitabine) or Descovy (emtricitabine/tenofovir alafenamide, or TAF) as an ARV treatment backbone. An additional 28 percent took a thymine-based backbone and 10 percent took an Epzicom (abacavir/lamivudine) backbone. The most common third ARV medications in the regimens were non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (50 percent), boosted protease inhibitors (28 percent) and integrase inhibitors (12 percent).
Redfield, an HIV researcher, said at a CDC meeting last year that AIDS could be ended by 2025 with existing strategies like promoting the use of condoms. Assistant Secretary Brett Giroir will steer the HIV strategy.
PEPFAR, which provides funding for HIV treatment, support, and prevention in at-risk countries. In 2017, Trump fired the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS without explanation.
The White House also reportedly took funding from the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Program to pay for its immigration policy. And last year, the HHS started to curtail HIV/ AIDS research in order to prevent the use of fetal tissue in science.
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HIV Treatment Has Steadily Improved By Benjamin Ryan
By Alex Bollinger
The CDC estimates that around 1.1 million people were living with HIV at the end of 2015, although not all of those people were aware of it. 38,739 people were diagnosed with HIV in 2017. The Trump administration has come under fire numerous times for its HIV/AIDS policy. He has proposed cuts to
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The analysis defined treatment efficacy as having an undetectable viral load at weeks 48, 96 and 114 of treatment; switching to a different ARV regimen for any reason was considered treatment failure.
Virtually all the studies reported week 48 efficacy, which was 71 percent overall. Average efficacy was 57 percent in studies beginning between 1994 and 2000, 69 percent for those beginning between 2001 and 2005, 77 percent for those beginning between 2006 and 2010 and 84 percent for those between 2011 and 2015. The comparable respective average efficacy rates at week 96 (41 percent of studies reported data) during these time periods were 52 percent, 61 percent, 65 percent and 80 percent, for an overall efficacy of 64 percent. The comparable respective figures at week 144 (14 percent of studies reported data) were 45 percent, 55 percent, 72 percent and 77 percent,
for an overall efficacy of 62 percent. Taking Descovy or Truvada, as opposed to other ARV backbones, was independently associated with a higher efficacy rate at weeks 48, 96 and 144. Other independent predictors of efficacy at week 48 included receiving drug resistance testing before starting treatment, having a higher initial CD4 count and taking a once-daily ARV regimen as opposed to a multidose regimen. Phase IV efficacy rates were lower than those of Phase III trials, meaning that the advanced trials that lead to the approval of ARVs offered inflated results compared with trials conducted after the approval of those drugs.
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Black & Pink News
February 2019
The Road Ahead for HIV Research By Benjamin Ryan
POZ January 7, 2019
HIV cure researchers received some disappointing news at the July 2018 International AIDS Conference in Amsterdam. Two studies in particular offered a sobering lesson on how extraordinarily complex developing a safe and effective cure for the virus will likely be. As conference attendees learned, researchers behind a randomized trial of an HIV cure method, the largest such study to date, recently found that their efforts failed to reduce viral DNA in human participants. The trial, called RIVER, tested the “kick and kill” strategy that seeks to roust latently infected immune cells from their slumber and then kill them off. Standard HIV medications—antiretrovirals, or ARVs—work only against cells that harbor actively replicating virus. These resting infected cells are a chief component of what is known as the viral reservoir, and it’s the stubborn persistence of this reservoir that frustrates cure efforts. In a second study presented at the conference, an antibody treatment that had shown promise in monkeys failed to prompt what is known as posttreatment control of the virus after HIV-positive humans interrupted their ARV therapy. As scientists in this field recalibrate their expectations, the use of the term “cure” as a goal for their research is declining. Instead, investigators
may seek to induce posttreatment control of HIV, or viral remission, in which a particular therapy would not eradicate the virus from the body but rather suppress HIV over an extended period without the need for long-term ARV treatment. Nevertheless, the overall field is generally still referred to as HIV cure research. Taking the pulse of her fellow HIV cure researchers, Sharon R. Lewin, MD, PhD, director of The Peter Doherty Institute for Infection and Immunity at the University of Melbourne in Australia, says, “If anything, there was probably more optimism four years ago because we had tried fewer things. We now know that curing HIV is definitely not an easy task.” Looking on the bright side, Lewin points to other promising recent cure studies conducted in primates, noting, “We definitely have been
able to cure a few monkeys. That’s exciting.” But as the antibody study presented at the Amsterdam conference indicated, disappointing outcomes among humans might follow success in primate research. Concerns about recent setbacks notwithstanding, Lewin remains optimistic about the future of HIV cure research. “Science can also take dramatic turns with significant discoveries too,” she says. “So you never know what may change the field dramatically.” Lewin is the lead author of a literature review recently published in The Lancet HIV, “Barriers and Strategies to Achieve a Cure for HIV,” in which she and her three coauthors offer a comprehensive summary of the impressive number of avenues researchers are pursuing in their quest for a cure, or something close to it. Below, POZ looks at the main takeaways from their paper.
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We also explore a few HIV cure studies published more recently. Lewin and her colleagues note that the only person ever cured of HIV remains Timothy Ray Brown. As a component of his treatment for leukemia, Brown received stem cell transplants a decade ago from a donor with a genetic mutation that confers natural resistance to the virus—the surface of the donor’s immune cells lacked the CCR5 coreceptor to which most HIV attaches in order to infect the cells. As far as researchers can tell, Brown benefited from a sterilizing cure. There is no evidence in his body of any virus with the capacity to replicate, and his viral load has never rebounded. (Today, Brown actually takes Truvada [tenofovir disoproxil fumarate/emtricitabine] as pre-exposure prophylaxis [PrEP] to ensure he does not contract HIV again.) Otherwise, in the realm of posttreatment control of HIV, quite a few people with the virus have been able to suppress their viral load for long stretches, sometimes for years, after interrupting standard ARV treatment. A recently published paper found that those who began ARVs very soon after contracting the virus are more likely to achieve such a prolonged state of viral remission after eventually going off their meds. It is likely that beginning on ARVs so promptly after infection keeps the viral reservoir relatively small, thus reducing the likelihood of latently infected cells springing to life at any given moment following a treatment interruption. One of the most famous cases of such posttreatment control is that of the African child who was treated
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for HIV for less than a year after birth and, by the time the child’s case was reported in 2017, had spent over eight years in a state of viral remission. In 2015, news surfaced that an 18-year-old French individual had spent 12 years off ARVs and still controlled the virus. Then, of course, there was the 2013 case of “the Mississippi Child”— met with great fanfare—who spent a couple of years off ARVs during her very young life but ultimately, and disappointingly, experienced a viral rebound at 4 years old. According to Lewin, scientists’ increasingly enriched comprehension of the posttreatmentcontrol phenomenon has actually made designing HIV cure studies more difficult. Now researchers must take into account that some study participants might achieve control of their virus, even if for a short time, without the benefit of an investigative cure therapy, thus making it more challenging to prove that a cure treatment was the cause of viral remission or a delayed viral rebound after the interruption of ARV treatment. Not only do latently infected immune cells evade ARV treatment, but also for every million such cells, perhaps only 60 harbor virus that can actually replicate; the rest contain defective virus. So finding those resting cells capable of waking up and repopulating the body with new virus in the absence of ARV treatment can be akin to finding a needle in a haystack. The immune system itself wastes considerable energy going after cells infected with dud copies of the virus. In another of the myriad ways HIV has evolved to help ensure it sustains a lifelong infection, latently
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infected cells have the ability to clone themselves. Perhaps more than half of the viral reservoir cells in some people living with the virus are clones. The matter of whether HIV continues to replicate at low levels in the face of effective ARV treatment has been the source of significant controversy in the cure field. A study presented at the 2018 Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections in Boston found no evidence of such ongoing replication in the lymph nodes, calling into question the notable contrasting findings of a 2016 paper. The lack of precise tests for measuring the viral reservoir remains a considerable obstacle for HIV researchers, both in determining the challenge they face in their quest to vanquish an infection and in assessing how well they did. Currently, scientists in the field must rely on rather crude metrics, such as changes in the overall presence of viral DNA or RNA in the blood, to gauge how a particular treatment affects the size of the reservoir. (HIV carries its genetic code in RNA, which is copied to DNA during infection of a cell.) Such metrics can underestimate the population of infected cells because most virus hides in tissues, not blood. Scientists may also try to measure success by determining whether an HIV cure treatment is associated with a delay in viral rebound after an interruption of ARV therapy and whether such a treatment is associated with a particular level of control of the virus in the absence of standard ARV therapy for the virus.
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If only scientists could identify a specific biomarker, such as a particular protein, that could predict the likelihood of a delay to viral rebound or control of the virus after a treatment interruption. Then, study participants might be spared the burden of interrupting their ARVs, a common requirement in HIV cure study designs. Asking people to stop standard HIV treatment raises ethical questions and may discourage people living with the virus from entering cure trials. That said, multiple studies have indicated that treatment interruptions in cure studies are safe. Lewin argues that such a tidy biomarker would likely attract greater investment in the field from pharmaceutical companies. (Global funding for public sector HIV cure research increased from $88 million in 2012 to $289 million in 2017, with the lion’s share coming from the National Institutes of Health.) Such for-profit companies prefer study designs boasting a level of simplicity that will help an investigational treatment pass muster with regulatory bodies like the Food and Drug Administration. They also prefer efficient investments for their research and development dollars. So their researchers favor clearly delineated, objective means of measuring success in clinical trials of experimental agents. Case in point: The recent discovery of a biomarker that can predict whether an individual will achieve a functional cure of hepatitis B virus (HBV) gave rise to a surge of interest from the pharmaceutical industry in researching curative therapies for HBV. Avenues of Research: Stem cell transplants Clinicians are still trying to replicate
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the success of Timothy Brown’s HIV cure with similar strategies. In recent years, a number of other individuals with cancer have received stem cell transplants from donors who also have the genetic mutation related to the CCR5 coreceptor that confers resistance to the virus. One of the six such individuals whose cases have been published in scientific literature experienced a viral rebound; the other five ultimately died as a result of complications following their stem cell transplant or from their underlying cancer. In other cases of people living with HIV who received a stem cell transplant but from a donor who lacked the CCR5-related genetic mutation, the stem cell transplant did delay the time to viral rebound by 3 to 10 months after the individuals stopped ARVs. However, the high fatality rate following transplantation highlights how impractical, not to mention unethical, this method of attempting to cure HIV is for anyone not already facing a high risk of death due to cancer. Gene therapy Seeking safer alternatives to cancer-treatment-based stem cell transplants, researchers are experimenting with gene-editing techniques that alter the DNA of an individual’s immune cells. In particular, the scientists will try to deactivate the gene that gives rise to the CCR5 coreceptor, thus robbing HIV of a means of latching onto immune cells. The modified cells are then grown outside the body and ultimately reinfused into the person’s body. The aim is to spawn a population of immune cells that are resistant to infection. As the field of
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gene editing rapidly evolves, it is hoped that new, even more cuttingedge technology will facilitate progress on the HIV cure front. “Kick and kill” The method of waking up latently infected cells (the “kick” part) and then finishing them off (the “kill” part) has yielded some notably disappointing results of late, including those of the RIVER study that was presented at the July conference in Amsterdam. Researchers pursuing this strategy have looked to various cancer drugs known as HDAC inhibitors as the kick element; but thus far, they have not been able to show such drugs can actually diminish reservoir cells. Lewin remains cautiously optimistic about further research into these medications, noting that the RIVER trial used a less advanced and relatively weak kick agent. Recent, more preliminary studies that have examined other kick agents, such as so-called TLR agonists, have shown far greater promise. Latency silencing: “block and lock” Effectively the opposite of the kick and kill strategy, the “block and lock” method, also known as latency silencing, is based on the presumption that if rooting out and killing all the latently infected cells in the body is too challenging, keeping them in a silent state indefinitely may be a viable alternative. A recent study conducted in mice sought to inhibit a viral protein known as tat that acts as an on-off switch for viral replication in cells. The study successfully reduced the amount of HIV RNA expressed in tissue biopsies taken from the animals, and it delayed viral rebound after the interruption of ARV treatment.
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Enhancing the immune system Researchers are investigating whether vaccines can be used to prompt the body to better control the virus. Scientists have also invested considerable energy into studying so-called broadly neutralizing antibodies, which are natural antibodies that boast the capacity to combat a wide array of HIV strains. Research has indicated that some of these antibodies are associated with a delay in viral rebound after an ARV treatment interruption. Recently, scientists have gone hightech by synthesizing three such antibodies into one “trispecific” antibody—a kind of all-in-one triple combination therapy—that has already shown promise in its use as pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) among primates. Modulating the immune system Scientists are seeking to manipulate proteins that redirect the traffic of immune-fighting cells. One such example is an antibody called vedolizumab that targets a protein on the surface of CD4 cells and stops these cells from moving into the gut, where HIV focuses much of its assault on the immune system. An initial study in monkeys reported two years ago provided hope for progress in this area of research, but scientists recently repeated the study and found that the antibody had a null impact on the second go-round. Preliminary results in humans also showed that vedolizumab did not affect the time to viral rebound after individuals interrupted their ARV treatment. Looking to the future In all likelihood, a successful
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HIV cure, or posttreatment control, strategy will rely upon a combination approach based on a number of the methods currently under investigation or those yet to be imagined. Any successful method will need to be safe, effective and—if it is to make a significant dent in the global epidemic—scalable. An HIV cure therapy that is extraordinarily expensive thanks to, for example, the highly involved and complex process required to provide personally tailored genetic editing of an individual’s immune cells, will have little to offer poorer nations— in particular those in sub-Saharan Africa—where the need is greatest. Curative hepatitis C virus (HCV) treatment, for example, costs tens of thousands of dollars in the United States, which has led insurers to restrict coverage of the medications. The actual cost to manufacture such medications, however, is relatively low, which allows for a steep sliding scale elsewhere around the world. The future of HIV cure science is also up against the phenomenal success of ARV treatment, which has set a high bar for any alternative means of suppressing the virus. The life expectancy of those on ARVs is approaching normal. What’s more, the risk of transmitting HIV is effectively zero for those who maintain a fully suppressed viral load. However, such benefits don’t speak to the psychic costs of living with a highly stigmatized lifelong infection or how a cure therapy may alleviate such burdens. Then there are the extreme difficulty and expense of getting the global population on lifelong ARV treatment. Also, even well-treated HIV is associated with an increased
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risk of numerous health conditions, such as cardiovascular disease and cognitive decline. Some form of HIV cure could help address these problems. However, as HIV drug development continues to progress and long-acting injectable treatments, or even very long-lasting implants, become the standard of care, emerging HIV cure treatments may cease to offer the freedom from daily medications as an advantage over standard ARV therapy. (Or perhaps by then, longacting antibody treatments will be the norm.) Furthermore, if someone is in a state of posttreatment control of the virus, what reassurances will there be that the virus will remain dormant indefinitely and won’t suddenly surge back and make an individual unwittingly infectious? How frequently will people benefiting from viral remission need viral load monitoring? These pressing questions, along with HIV’s extraordinary complexity, likely make for a long and winding scientific road ahead. But thanks to the increasing funds backing such research and a growing army of toptier scientists doggedly pursuing a cure, the future will hopefully prove bright with new developments. Still, this field isn’t simply concerned with a binary outcome of finding the holy grail of a cure or otherwise failing to do so. Success will likely prove incremental, with scientists eventually discovering new means of further mitigating HIV’s longterm harms, further transforming a once surely fatal infection into an increasingly innocuous presence in the body and around the world.
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February 2019
Overwhelming Evidence That Undetectable = Untransmittable By David Hudson
Gay Star News January 11, 2019
HIV positive people with an undetectable viral load cannot sexually transmit HIV. That’s the unequivocal conclusion from one of the leading health agencies in the US. Researchers from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) undertook a review of recent research. Their conclusion is simple: Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U). It’s the same message now backed by over 300 health agencies all around the world. The results of the NIAID review were published yesterday in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). One of the reports co-authors is NIAID Director, Dr Anthony Fauci. He is widely regarded as one of the world’s leading HIV experts. ‘Overwhelming evidence’ In a statement, NIAID called evidence for Undetectable = Untransmittable ‘overwhelming’. Not only does getting those diagnosed with HIV on to Antiretroviral Therapy (ART) ensure their long term health. But it also significantly reduces HIV transmission rates. This is because those with the virus suppressed in their body cannot pass it on. The authors pointed to research that
looked at over 77,000 examples of condomless sex between serodiscordant male couples. One half of the couple had HIV and the other did not. There was not a single transmission of the virus from the HIV positive person to the negative person. The NIAID report notes several important factors: -Those taking medication must stick to their medication regimes. -It can take up to six months of ART treatment to bring viral load down to undetectable levels (less than 200 copies of HIV per ml of blood). -Those with HIV should have their viral load tested every 3-4 months for the first two years of treatment. If their viral levels remain suppressed, this can extended to every six months. They noted that adhering to medication was essential. ‘When ART is stopped, viral rebound usually occurs within 2 to 3 weeks.’ ‘The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that of the individuals with HIV in the United States in HIV clinical care in 2015, approximately 20% had not achieved viral suppression at their last test. ‘CDC also noted that 40% of the individuals in HIV clinical care that same year did not maintain viral suppression for more than 12 months.’
Volume 10, Issue 1
By Timothy D.V. Bazrowx
‘In summary, even though the clinical data underpinning the concept of U = U have been accumulating for well over a decade, it is only recently that an overwhelming body of evidence has emerged to provide the firm basis to now accept this concept as scientifically sound.’
A person who finds himself freshly recruited by the Texas criminal justice system into the slave labor force of its many state penitentiaries will soon find they have been thrown into a time warp.
They also think promoting the U=U message may remove, ‘the sense of fear and guilt that a person may be harming someone else, as well as the feeling of self-imposed and external stigma that many people with HIV experience.’
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Fields of Blood: My Life As a Prison Laborer in Texas
They say lack of access to consistent healthcare, among other factors, can impact viral load.
It says U=U has implications on prevention. There are also legal implications. Currently, more than 20 states in the US make it a crime for someone with HIV to have sex without informing their partner they have the virus.
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The Marshall Project January 24, 2019
As I made my way deeper into this system, in 1981, I found myself bound for a prison called Central Unit, to be my new home for the next 40 years. The bus trip there was a true pain, since we had been handcuffed and essentially herded into a rolling cage. Soon, my senses told me we were getting close to the place where I was born, and it dawned on me fully when I saw the Imperial Sugar refinery. I was born in Sugar Land, Texas, and now I’d be in its prison. We slowed down on Highway 6, right after we passed a small airport and turned down a long straight road. On one side I could see houses for the ranked officials of the corrections department; on the other were fields of men dressed in white, carrying massive hoes called “aggies.” They were in a line, “flat-weedin’,” as I would find out. Armed guards sat on horses around them, with big straw cowboy hats, spurs, and aviator glasses, meant to shield their eyes from the Texas sun but also
to keep the men from seeing who they were looking at. Even from the noisy bus I could hear the “field bosses” yelling and cussing at their unpaid workers and threatening to shoot them. This, I would find out, was normal. At the end of the road (which is kind of symbolic, for most prisoners in Texas are literally at the end of a road) sat the prison I would be at: a huge, white-bricked building with gun towers, razorribboned fences ... the works. I would be brought in, unhandcuffed and given over to my new keepers; assigned a dorm; read the riot act by the unit major; and ultimately assigned to a 5-Hoe, a fresh-meat squad of workers. It was very hot. There was no cell space for me yet, so I would sleep on crowded floors for four months at least before my turn for a bed would come. I tried to ask the “BT” (this stands for “building tender,” an inmate who assists the prison staff with headcounts and tracking other inmates’ whereabouts) about “HoeSquad,” but he just told me to be sure to go to breakfast, for the mattresses would be picked up off the floor shortly after that. I spent the rest of that day meeting my dorm-mates, and trying to rest up. That night, after lights-out, a man sat down at a table about eight feet from where I had laid a mattress to sleep, cut both of his wrists, rested his head on his arms and bled to death. The guards then berated the dead man for creating all the extra paperwork they now had to now do. Sleep was even further out of the question,
because we all were questioned as to what we knew. Finally morning came, and the prison’s huge doors started getting slammed open as line-squad turnout started. The BT’s listened for the bosses to yell for a particular squad, then relayed the information to us. This is a very intense time. I watched as the dorms opened with a huge slam and a bang when each door hit its stops. Suddenly, men were running, not walking, down the stairs and through a gauntlet of bosses lined up on each side of a breezeway from the building’s exit. As we passed, they would try to kick each of us in the butt with spurred cowboy boots, or get a good hit in on us with a 3-foot, quarterinch-thick strap of leather with a wooden handle. Needless to say, we kept running. Next, we found our squads by lining up on painted numbers. They did a roll-call, and we walked over to an aggie wagon and got a Texas-sized
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Black & Pink News
artwork by josh macphee, courtesy of amplifier.org
hoe with a homemade handle. It was like someone had cut down a small sapling and then stuck in the tool’s head … bark and all.These went on our shoulders. We paired up and walked out toward the huge fields, as the early morning sun glinted off the razor-ribboned fences. A High-Rider (an armed guard on horseback) watched us as our bosses got their pistols and loaded them; I’d soon learn they loved pointing these at us. This prison was at one time a sugarcane plantation. Forty-five hundred acres of prime real estate that had been worked by hand more than a century. The land was flat. The air hot and humid. The sweat just poured from me. I was almost shot on my very first day out there. It was so hot. I had laid up for nine months in county jails and now was trying to work in a chest-high cornfield. My hands were already tore up and blistered bad, and I was about to pass out from
the heat. This drew the ire of my boss. He called for a trusted inmate to straighten me out, and as the man ran up from the water-wagon with a piece of pipe to start beating me, I raised my aggie and would have defended myself with it had several pistols not been drawn on me all at once.The field-captain shot at my feet. It would be prudent to drop my aggie, I realized. I dropped my aggie.The days would run together after that, the heat, the drudgery, the daily unpaid toiling in dirt and fields under the hot Texas sun. I have worked all my life with my hands, yet have been cursed with tender-skinned palms and feet, which blister and peel no matter what I do.I suffered daily with cracked and bleeding hands, and it wasn’t long before they were missing a few layers of skin. What remained bled further, bled so bad my field boss started carrying bandaids in his pocket, which was unheard of back then. Eventually I
February 2019
coated the handles of all the aggies with blood, making them slick and hard to hold. My clothes were soiled with blood daily, as if I had been fist-fighting in the fields for hours. There was nothing I could do; I was in prison, slaving for the state.I hurt so bad that I couldn’t even hold an ink-pen to write a letter. So I’d stick the pen between my fingers, which were blistered also.To make matters worse, we toiled in maize fields with Johnson grass 6 feet tall with halfinch wide blades, which would slide between my slick bloody hands and the aggie handles, slicing me further like razor blades. The blood ran down my arms, but I’d channel my pain and anger into the aggie, and chop that tough grass down. My hands stained each aggie or ax handle a beautiful mahogany color. The entire time I was on these hoesquads my hands never healed. Finally, I got a different job, indoors. The Central Unit is closed now, its land apportioned off in a real estate boom. Which is fine with me, and good riddance. But I also wonder if the nice families that bought this prime real estate with their wellearned money, who built their halfa-million-dollar homes, knew they were building on fields of blood? Timothy Bazrowx, 62, is incarcerated at the John M. Wynne Unit in Huntsville, Texas, where he is serving a 40-year sentence for burglary with intent to commit rape and a concurrent 20-year sentence for aggravated sexual assault committed while in custody. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice did not respond to a request for comment on the suicide and allegations of violence by correctional officers described in this essay.
Volume 10, Issue 1
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A Letter from Kimberley O’Donnell to the Black and Pink Family Welcoming our new National Communications Manager Greetings Dearest Family, I am so honored to be in this space and to have been entrusted with the work I am now doing. My name is Kimberley O’Donnell and I am the new National Communications Manager for Black and Pink. I am a woman of trans experience from Omaha, Nebraska and I have a background in creative writing, LGBTQIA2S+ grassroots organizing, and other social justice liberation initiatives. I have an almost unhealthy obsession with any caffeinated (black coffee is highly preferred though), reading books, writing, and listening to all sorts of music (however, Beyonce, Adele, Cardi B, and Enya take the forefront). For these first few weeks of my time in this position I have been going through thousands of your letters. I want to make it a point to let you all know someone is reading everything you send us. While we are currently backed up a few months, we are making significant headway everyday. I am so grateful to each of you for sharing parts of your Souls, your interests, and your concerns with me. It is an honor to be this doing the work, and be allowed on this
journey with you. One aspect of my position that I will be dedicating a portion of my time to is helping integrate our new database which will make a more accessible and functioning pen pal system that we already offer. I have received many letters from you about still waiting for a pen pal, and the reality is we do not have the current capacity of volunteers to match the number of inside members seeking pen pals. You have not been forgotten, and I promise I will be doing the work to engage with outside members to increase the number of people writing to you. That is something that I find vital to this work. I am also working to reorganize our current mail processing system to create a more efficient flow for the large amount of mail we
receive here at our national headquarters. This is going to take a little bit of time, but you should soon see a change in our response time to your concerns. Above all, I want to reiterate to you that people are reading your letters, and your voice is being heard. The work before us is far from over, and we will continue to fiercely advocate with you on the inside. One of my favorite quotes from the divine force, Audre Lorde, is “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” In our case, I firmly believe that no one in the LGBTQIA2S+ community is free until we all are. Free from suffering. Free from judgment. Free from violence. I want you to always know, I am walking with you - even in Spirit. You are never alone.
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February 2019
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Letters from Our Black & Pink Family
You are always Worthy. As we continue throughout 2019 and beyond, as a Black and Pink family, please know I am continually sending you Solidarity and Warmth. To my trans sisters and siblings, I am so proud of you. Reading your letters has been extremely empowering, beautiful, and difficult at times. Please know I stand in complete solidarity with you, always, and I am sending you unending Light, Love, and Power in these trials. You are courageous, strong, sacred in every fiber of your being and deserve the right to exist fully as you are.
Greetings Family, I just received the newest issue of Black and Pink and after reading, a message from Dominique... I was inspired to write to express my sincerest gratitude for the incredible work that is being done on behalf of all of our family. It is important that we forward to opportunities that will present themselves n our lives to improve ourselves and others. Without question Black & Pink are providing an opportunity for those of us who have been marginalized, segregated and unduly oppressed because we do not fit the so-called societal standards.
To all my LGBTQIA2S+ siblings I want you to know I am equally as proud of your resolve, your authenticity to your own personhood, and I stand in complete solidarity with you always. You are never facing these pains alone, you have a really big family on the inside and outside who love you, value you, and affirm you - never forget that. The future is overflowing with a great deal of hope, promise, and Goodness - because we make it so. We must always stand together as we face the trials of this world, no one can ever be left behind. We must not spend time dividing amongst ourselves, deeming anyone lesser than us, or ever not extending redemption to every Soul. That is how we heal, and that is how we build a more powerfully inclusive tomorrow. I depart you, wishing you all nothing but Warmth, Wisdom, and Fruition in all endeavors. May you always be the Goodness is in this world, and may you always begin again.
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However, the standards that are set forth by our universal creator trumps any opinion that may or may not be levied against the status quo, or the existing order of things. It is imperative that we develop a healthy world view and self view of ourselves to combat the negative ideas that will be perpetuated by those who do not understand. One of the key points that was made in his message, Dominique suggests that when he came to the conclusion that “Love is Love.”
In Solidarity and Love, Kimberley O’Donnell National Communications Manager Black and Pink, Inc.
artwork by Melanie Cervantes, courtesy of amplifier.org
This simple, yet profound statement echoes the very essence of the viewpoint that must be adopted by all of us who are in this fight for equality. You see, if you do not begin to see yourself as important, or see yourself as valuable then no one else will. Relationships will always fail, interactions will always be volatile, and the general building blocks that help to create the
the natural expression of compassion and affection will be polluted. Just that alone in this fight should make you want to do more, to be more than just some sort of statistic. Unfortunately, our venture into the penal system sometimes distorts our view of the world. We must form our unique alliance which assists in times of need and weakness. Black & Pink helps to bring people together from all walks of life to share and connect on various levels. Interestingly enough the environment that is created can produce some fascinating results and show the human capacity for transformation at its highest levels. We cannot allow an experience to deter us from being full human beings. There is not enough bigotry or prejudice that can derail or prevent us from rising, as Andra Day’s song, Rise Up, suggests. Advocacy becomes a natural extension of who you are and the experiences that you have had. I would like to be included in the number of individuals who have discovered that assistance of others is the best work of life, and while we may not all love the same, the core values and foundation that promote our lives will never change. We and I receive all the love and light. The strength and limitless endurance. Joy and hope... and all things progressive and positive acknowledging our journey. With Affection, Marion (MD)
Dear Black and Pink, My name is Bradley, I am a Bisexual currently incarcerated in the Missouri Department of Corrections. I’ve been in prison for 10 1/2 years. I’ve been involved in several homosexual relationships over the years. Last year I opened my self to a Transgender male. To my surprise I ended up falling for “her”. We are currently locked up together at the same institution. We have been having difficulities with correctional staff, institutional staff, and offenders since we got together. This correctional facility frowns upon those who label themselves as Gay, Bi, or Transgender. They target us and free case us more than other offenders. Over the past year correctional staff has locked me and my life partner up in solitary confinment for punishment just to separate us becase we are open about our selves. Now my life partner is again in solitary confinment awaiting transfer to another facility. I believe its time to stand up to the indifference, be open, and show that we as people it’s ok to be different regardless of our sexual preference. Please ad me to the submission and here is a poem to go out to all those who find or has found Love in confinment and my Life partner Kama Rac Evenin Rose. Love you Mama
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Poem I’m confined inside of confinment to be confined Its not the hole or the cell but in the mind The state of being behind the walls you become hyponotized Your either free from all or locked down You hear the voices or not ever a sounds The contentment starts to set in You break the cycle let the routine begin Every day seems the same I chase the rabbit Its the routine I’m doing it out of habit I begin to get lost I’m losing my sight I ask myself is it worth to put up a fight I’m scared, nervous, full of unrest All my emotions flood to my chest I sit and wonder as the days turn grey and bleak Bowing down on my knees asking God to help me get to my feet To my surprise I see a answered prayer A man tells me he loves me, cherishes me, and he really does care I found happiness inside a portion of hell We write letters as if we getting mail I found the man who want to spend the rest of life with me God answered my prayers it was meant to be Thank you to the Great man above Now I can say in Confinment I found True Love Bradley aka B-Real (MO)
Dear Black & Pink Family, My name is Dustin aka sunshine. I am a 32 year old bisexual man. This is my first letter to Black & Pink. I am currently serving a 80 year sentence in an Indiana Prison for a crime I did not do. When I first got to prison in 2015 I jumped in head first. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I been in a total of 3 relationships since I got here. The first relationship was very bad so I got out real quick. My 2nd relationship was not any better but he ended up getting transfered & I ended it after I found out he was contacting my family & trying to get them to disown me. Now I am in my 3rd relationship & we been a couple since August 4, 2017. We have had our ups & downs. Which I just read the May issue of Black & Pink & I read Charles (Charlene) & Anthony (WI) story which I relized that I owe my partner a big apology for things I have done or said to him becuase of what others have told me. There are a lot of haters, two faced, jealous types here in prison who like to dig a wedge between power couples who are happy. Here is the thing it maybe hard on us but it only makes us stronger. The main key to any relationship is to talk & listen to each other. You don’t ever lie or cheat becaue it only makes things worse. So to my partner Frank I am sorry for letting others get between us & I hope you can forgive me my Love? Now to Charles and Anthony (WI) hang in there, keep fighting, dont give up in the courts or on each other because if you do the system wins, the heters win, I look forward to hearing from you.
February 2019
In closing I do have a wonderful partner & I he & I will be together for a very long time. I want to Thank all of the Black & Pink staff for maken the newspaper the best it can be, keep up the wonderful work. Live, Laugh, Love Always, Dustin aka Sunshine (IN) Greetings my Black and Pink Brothers and Sisters. I have been receiving the Black and Pink News Letter for approximately four years now and it has been a blessing and a beacon of light to me. I am a 24 year old gale male who has been incacerated since May 1, 2012. (age 17) I was subsequently bound over and abjudicated in the adult court. I was charged with Aggravated Robbery and two Aggravated Burglaries. Blacked out nights of trying Xanax landed me into a 12 year prison sentence. Peer pressure is real and dangerous in our society. I am now led to ask the following question; Why give into peer pressure? Well, for a number of reasons. I cared what others thought about me and wanted to be accepted by others. I cared to much about being rejected by my peers. I was afraid to show my true colors. Scared what others would think... why? I had not yet learned how to love myself. Coming to North Center Correctional Complex in Marion, Ohio has a huge eye opener in my life. I have been here since 2013. Unlike most prisons that I have heard about, this one is way more LGBTQ friendly. I have gained my GED since arriving here,
Volume 10, Issue 1
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completed nearly 30 other programs, gained my Competent Communicator and Competent Leadership from Toastmasters International. My confidence and most importantly my love for myself has grown beyond measure. I am now a great Interpersonal communicator, Listener, Leader, helper, friend and just all around person. I have a Judicial Release per my plea agreement in approximately 9 months. I wanted to let all of you know on the inside and outside that I am always going to be a strong supporter for us! LOVE, Joey (OH) Greetings to all my brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community. I hope you all are staying strong and keeping your heads up (yeah, the “heads” down below too i guess, lol). I know it’s tough being who you are being in the environment you are in. It is my hope, though, i can give you encouragement through this letter. But first i want to introduce myself to my family out there. My name is, Damian. i am 41 years old. I am an Idaho inmate doing time at the Eagle Pass Correctional Facility in Eagle Pass, Texas. The facility is owned and operated by the GEO Group, Inc. So, yeah, i am being warehoused under a contract. Anyway i have been doing time since February 2002. I have been receiving Black and Pink for at least four years and i must say i am moved by all the storie of people struggling, fighting, and working towards being treated fairly, towards equal rights, and being
recognized for being who you are... for being you. It’s sad that even though we are in the twenty-first century, there are people out there, especially government agencies, who are still biased and biggoted towards gays and lesbians and transgender folk. Yet, depsite all that, despite the struggles, despite the hardships, despite being beat down for being who we are, despite everything we go through, there is one common theme we all in the LGBTQ community share. We are united and we are family. Even though we are all spread out across the United States (let’s not forget about our family in foreign countries) we
have a strong bond. A bond that brings us so close together. There more we struggle, the more hardships we endure, the stronger our bond, the closer we get. Remember this: our own personal struggles and hardships, although important, are nothing compared to what’s at stake, to the bigger picture. The greater goal is muche bigger than ourselves. That’s being treated equally and the sam as our straight counterparts. To be given the same rights as everyone else. To be treated with respect and dignity. Not only in the free world, but also inside. That’s our common goal. That’s what we fight for. Never lose sight of that. I hope my words here
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have encouraged you all. Yours very Truly, Damian A.(TX) Dear Black and Pink, Hi! My name is Matthew “Rex”. I’m 30 yrs. old about to be 31 on 12-21-18. I’ve been Bi since I was young, around my early teens. I love the ones who look like girls. I still have my family supportin’ me to the fullest. I am currently housed on Robertson Unit in Ad. Seg. I have been locked up for 11 yrs. and tryin’ to make parole as soon as I get my line class up. This will be the first time I write a letter to my LGBTQ family. I love readin’ all the different letters everyone be sendin’. That way in case I run into them. I am here for 5 counts of Agg. Robbery and all they me was 20 yrs. I got blessed with that much time. N-E-WAYZ Why is it that these inmates here are always talkin’ down on us? Are they jealous ‘cause we get more love then them or are they scared to come out and be one of us. Jus’ the other day some of these inmates were talkin’ shit to someone who is gay. I felt bad ‘cause I know how it feels. I’ve talked to my friend a few times and he’s barely been locked up 8 months on a 35 yr sentence, he jus’ turned 19 yrs. old in August. So after dayroom ended the laws took him back to his cell. I prayed really hard for him. I asked the law if that kid was alright and if he can go and check on him. Then a couple of minutes passed, I saw a bunch of laws and nurse’s come on the pod. They took that same kid on a stretcher. I talked to the law and he said that the kid hung himself.
Black & Pink News
That broke my heart because these laws didn’t do anythin’ to help him before he did that. I know how it feels as far as hurtin’ myself. I’ve tookin’ pillz or tried to hang myself. I oprned my eyes after my last episode becuase I wanna be there for the ones who are feelin’ down and need some help. As for all these inmates who claim they are tango’s or wood’s. We know who are the ones who are in the closet. I was tango but not in the closet. I am comfortable with myself. I’m goin’ to continue to rep my city “San Antonio 210”. But I’m goin’ to also continue to be who I am. I love everyone and anyone who are free and wild. I love the LGBTQ Family. Shout out to Unique Starr who is on Micheal’s Unit. I will always love you baby. You’re my #1. And to all the girls on Polunsky, Boyd, Daniels, Darrington, Ferguson, and Hughes and to every other unit around the world. Will you marry me Unique Starr? Sincerely, Matthew “Rexx” (TX) P.S. Don’t be scared to “SPEAK UP” about needin’ help. We love you all very much.
To My Beautiful Black and Pink Family, I’ve been meaning to write to you for quite some time now, but I’ve never seemed to have the right words. I’ve been in the system since I was 15 years old.
February 2019
Just out of Freshman year I decided to make the biggest mistake of my life. I was sentenced to 10 years of prison and 3 lifetimes of probation. Suffice to say that I was given a shitty deal. I learned about my attraction to men just before I turned 19. I still haven’t figured out if I am bisexual or not. I like to call myself trysexual. :) I’ve been in a few serious relationships in the last four years and I believe I’ve found the Love of my life. As exciting as this sounds I’m scared to acknowledge any of these as reality. I’m now 22 with only 18 months left and the person I’m so in love with is serving a decade. After I get out! They are the person I’ve been searching for. Fam! If you’ve found that one. If you’ve seen the stars and moon. If your heart sits in anothers hands, don’t give it up. Love is what keeps this world turning. Love is always the answer. Every great religion teaches us that love is the key to a happy life. Thank you so much Black and Pink! You’ve brought me so much help and understanding. I hope to contribute even more in the future. I even hope to see this in the next newsletter. We are all one people. We all matter. A saying we’ve been using here in Arizona: Orange live matter! Just because we’re behind bars does not mean we are not human. Thank you! All of you beautiful people who give your time and money for us. All of you are amazing people. The same goes out to every single Family member out there. We are all one. We are all
Volume 10, Issue 1
all incredible people destined for greatness. With all of my heart, I love you! Joey Aka Little Draco (AZ) P.S. To my amazing lover you know who you are. Keep fighting babe. I’m still here for you. Always & Forever! 1...2...3...
Dear B & P Familia, Its your Bro Josh checking in on you all. :) Tis the season, but I feel more sad then usual in this time of year. For those who feel alone and sad like Moi, I say He! XD. You’re not alone, Im writing to you, granted I do not know you but I know your pain & that in itself makes us closer then mere acquaintances. I’ve been thinking of all the things I’ve done which I regret the more I think, why? “Because I deserve the guilt?”, I tell myself, “It is my penance.” I realize that these past 5 years I’ve been kicking myself about the past & Im not preparing for whatever fate decides of my future. I max in August 2019 (9 months away). The people I’ve transgressed have forgiven me, and if they didn’t, I still should’ve let go of my guilt. Now I’ve come to terms with myself. How? I couldn’t say. But Black and Pink is a rock for me. People usually don’t do something good, just because. Most people have secret agendas Not Our B & P family. They helped me forgive myself by showing me people who needs help & I said to myself recently. “I was born to help others. Forget my irrational feelings. Forget all of the insignificant problems. And focus on those who
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need love, compassion.” So when I max out I will be online for those outside as friend- for-a-day. I will be there for you to talk or vent or if you need something. I’ll do anything in my power to help. I would love to be able to be with Black and Pink. Destiny always surprises us in the greatest ways. My family, never think you’re alone B & P is here. I am here in spirit if not in person. I love you, and be true to you. Blessed Be! Josh (AZ) Dearest Black and Pink Family, Hellow my name is Juan I’m 35 years old and it’s my first letter to you. I’m writing to say to all that I’m coming out as a gay man! It feels so great to say that finally. I came out last year at my privious prison M.C.S.P. C.A. I met my baby EVER VAN DERLINDEN whose from Holland. I’m so in love with him I just can’t hold it inside anymore. I think I was always gay since I was young. I found feminine men attractive but was scared to say anything. But now that I’m in prison and my brothers at M.C.S.P. supported and showed me all the love I needed to come out and stay true to my self. Thanks Eddie Boy, Streatch, forever you’ll be in my thoughts till we meet again! And to my Love EVER I’ll be out soon baby, family I love you as well for your support and Magazine much love. Sincerly PAYA aka Juan (CA) Querida Familia de Black and Pink, As a first time writer to our newsletter, allow me the honor
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of introducing myself to all you beautifully talented readers, both inside the system and out in society. My family calls me Manny, firends call me Oso and the state simply refers to me as inmate. I’m a 26 year old bisexual chicano born and raised in The Lone Star state! I stand 6 foot 1, a stocky 240 lbs, tatted and bearded. Who better to keep you warm in the winter!? I’m an optimistic dreamer, who is very spontaneous, with a big... uh, sense of humor! LOL I love to travel, with Greece and Paris at the top of my list. I enjoy all things erotic and kinky. My career goal is to launch my own start up before I turn 35. As of now, I have 3 years left till I’m back in D-town. Till then, I continue to vacation in NC. #CowboyNation #EatZeke #WritethecheckJerry I’d like to send prayers out to everyone affected by the past few hurricanes. To my family in Mexico hurt by the devastation, los quiero much y espero que esten bien todos. To the many suffering in the states, united we stand and together we’ll rise. To my brothers and sisters incarcerated, God is with us always and with him by our side, everything is possible. Never give up, no matter the circumstances. I’d like to give a shout out to the family at B&P who does a phenomenal job at keeping us all connected. To all my gorgeous trans women and handsome bi guys, stand up with pride! Don’t be shy or afraid to be your true self. Tyven AKA Thai out of TX, Dominique “Nicki” E. I see you nena! ;) Tyven AKA Thai out of
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TX, Dominique “Nicki” E. I see you nena! and the proud beauty from NM, Shanelle. L AKA Mz. Bubblez! Amy G. from H-town, can’t wait to meet you chula! Anyone wanting to correspond can find me on the pen pal list Los quiero a todos ustedes, mi gente hermosa! Sincerely, Oso (NC) Dear Black and Pink, Raeven: Beautiful etheric angel full of light and intensity of grace, it is I, your mate who has traveled the miles to sing you a song: Let’s rendezvous through our universe while love renovates our nest or trust and peace for I long to caress your perfect soul with the plumes of kindness and passion; to umbrella your gorgeous being and share with you the fire deep within me created in and moments of oneness. let us rise to the great heights and be of one union in the midst of a summers day, soaring through the blue skies in a synchronized rhythm just as and hearts pound to the same beat of one love, energizing our shared universe as we press forward to our sweet land of liberty... may this be our dedicatory time to replenish our belief and patience through the divide to be bound in its essence in a day’s time, receiving its full measure and enlarging the vision of our embrace in everlasting arms... To journey together to our well of love and drink of the sacred poetry in its truth, goodness, and mercy where the resources are inexhaustible...
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I miss you my beautiful mate, and I love you in abundance; your memory is the gift God allows me to open as the first faint flash of awakening day tints the horizon; the memory of your angelic smile illuminates my world even through the distance... Thank you... May our hearts forever burn together and dance in a rhythmic motion to the grand anthem of love, for in its unity, the twilight hours are solemnizing the souls with the hush of their own waiting. Sincerely, Dylan (TX) “Solange Knowles” - Cranes in The Sky Hello All Brothers and Sisters of Black and Pink! One thing I’ve always hated is the feeling of being exposed, vulnerable, and being watched while I shower. (I’m transgender in a male prison in SCI-Fayette, PA.) . Even a towel is offensive to these CO’s senses because they remove them wen your back is turned, or write you up, or at worst they mace you for it without warning. Quite frankly, the only thing I’ve been able to do is utilize the grievance forms and PREA reports. It hasn’t yet proven effective because my body isn’t “Feminine Enough” for them. So I continue. I take all of what is written in Black & Pink’s letters from the heart and nourish my lonely heart. This keeps me fighting for simple things like Privacy, Medical Treatment, and Respect for (in some cases) just being Alive. All of you who’ve found love Stand tall all you LGBTQIA members and Allies,
February 2019
incarcerated know you are blessed, or, I should say, you bless others with your love. Keep shining bright with Love and Peace so you push back the darkness of Hate and War. Every battle I’ve faced here in Prison has only strengthened my resolve to win for not just myself, but for all other sin similar straights. Each battle counts whether in deeds, words, or Laws... No matter the size it counts. the day is coming where we will be treated as HUMAN; not just the derogatory “Labels” they slander us with. If we all stand together they can’t knock us down. Sorry, for all the different paragraphs. My mind has no linear thought really. I’ve got some mental illness issues. Either way, I fight thanks to the Love and Support everyone at Black & Pink and all those who write in or just pray for us, thank you. From the heart, Jessica M. W. (PA)
Dear Black & Pink Family, If I may, I want to just speak from my heart. My name is Mikala V. I am a 23 year-old black female. I am and have always been openly bisexual. I’m currently serving a 20 year sentence (still have 2 years left) for bank robbery. I want to say how much I appreciate Black & Pink News. I’ve just recently started reading the magazine and I’ve never felt so empowered. I read the letters from other and I’m actually shocked by the lack of support within the LGBTQ community within the prison. Here in the Arkansas
Volume 10, Issue 1
Department of Corrections, the LGBTQ community not only embraces one another, but support and help one another. I love and embrace who I am. I OWN it!! I’ve just recently cut all of my hair off. I’m not a stud by any means, I’m just a bald-headed woman (lol). The love and support that I receive on a daily basis makes it a lot easier to be who I am and I enjoy the fact that other young members of the LGBTQ community are inspired to also be their true selves. I am totally looking forward to the next issue of Black & Pink News. I’m totally open to writing pen pals. Although I’m new to the B&P Family, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel so welcome and accepted. With much love, Kala V (AR) Black & Pink Family, My name is gabby. I am incarcerated in a men’s prison in MD DOC system. I been getting B+P for some time. I have 2 people I want to respond to and then some general thoughts. First a short bio on me, I am 28 years old and in on a SO offender charge. I’m doing 12 years and have 3 years in. I am in early stages of transition. It was not easy for me to come out. When I was home I live as Gabriel by day and Gabby by night. I had clothes, make-up, etc... I was a working girl. My family didn’t do anything for me since I got locked up, but when I came out they stop taking my calls or send me letters. It’s their loss that they won’t see the woman I become. I have my besti and my LGBTQ/Black and Pink
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family. I am 5’9” 215 pounds, 36A cup tits, light brown skin, with long black curly hair. Now to Heart Beat in Maryland, I too was born in Baltimore and my first sexual experience also was at the Carter Center on the eastern shore. Heat Beat, me and the LGBTQ family love and care about you. If your family cut you off for being you, it’s their loss but you will have me, and the LGBTQ/Black and Pink family forever. To my brothers and sisters at Lovelock Correctional Center in NV, I send you my love, prayers and my hopes you all are well. The PREA issue I am having myself here in MD. Being a LGBTQ family member in the P.I.C. is not easy. Trust me you all are thought about, pray for and love by all of us. Any of you can write me. Lastly: As members of the LGBTQ community we have a responsibility to look out for one another. We are all we have in the freeworld and in prison. There is way too many of us killing ourselves. We got to come together as one to get anything done. Your loving sister, Gabby D. (MD) Dear My Black & Pink Family. I hope that my letter finds the family well. Today I got a letter and a update on whats going on with the family. I must say that I was so proud to read those words. Keep up the great work! I filled out the March survey, but for some reason it came back, but for whatever the case, I’m always glad to give my input on things both on the inside and out. It’s a joy to
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read that people are working hard to push for more rights for people that are (LGBTQ). It was also a great read that Delaware signed into legislation that protects LGBTQ youth from conversion therapy. I would like to submit some poetry for our September chapter submit to our zine this is a poem called Heartless Dream. Heartless Dream I look into the eye of so many Men & Women with tortured souls. They look lost within nowhere to go. I see them standing around head down to the ground. I was once too that way. Afraid to come out, scared because I was gay. Ashamed to think that I was never good enough, but it all was a Dream, and the nightmare would stop as long as I was up. So to my Brothers & Sisters that are in the life, it’s nothing wrong with being the way your are ‘cause god made you right. Brandon ( Chance ), NY
Brothers and sisters of Black and Pink, I come to you today and ask what can this little gay community here in this prison like facility do to stop the constant abuse by the director, assistant director, security director, orange team therapists, blue team therapists, and rooming committee, who are putting young gay residents here in harm’s way. I bring to you a 27 year old [Ben Hardbaugh] whom this facility put with a known 70 year old violent predator [Mr. Sluga] that attacked all his prior
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cellies by destroying their property and threatening them. He sexually propositioned this young man many times, destroyed his flat screen T.V. that was brand new and threatened him with physical harm. After seg time on both parties they moved both back on the same deck. Shortly after that, the older man attacked the young man with a sock loaded with batteries and split the young man’s head. He has not been charged for any crime as of yet. Now the next young man is [Joshua Warner] who is married to [Michael W. Smith] They moved his cellie out and lied to the young man [Warner], stating he wasn’t moving and nobody was moving in with him and that he was not on the list. When he was called back, he found that another known predator [Mr. Petrovich] that preyed on young people in this facility and physically and sexually tried to force the young man [Warner] to sexually act out, was moving into the room with him. The young man started to stress a lot and that’s not good, because the last time this happened he got shingles. I saw him tearing, so I went over to calm him down. We have thus filed an ATR (Attempt to Resolve) and a room change with the other married couple that is separated. There are several of us trying to help here, this is retaliation and an aggressive move on these married couples because of the their lawsuit with the facility. If you look at the article in the gay magazine The Advocate, talking about “Why will some gay and bisexual men remain locked up even after serving their time? Queer and Committed.” If you would place this article in the Black and Pink newspaper to let the LGBTQ community see what’s going on here at the IDHS-TDF in Rushville.
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I am Lil Tiger and am currently looking out for these youngsters only because I’ve been there many times and don’t want the same to happen to them. We need major help here to end the cruel and unusual punishment and torture by the hands of DHS-TDF staff and clinical therapists and healthcare staff. The hate must end and I will fight till it does. I love ya’ll dearly so peace and gay pride rules.
Lil Tiger (IL)
Brothers and Sisters! This is a new year “2019” - and I would like to quote what 2pac once stated: “With a brain to teach a whole nation.” I would first like to congratulate Mrs. Jessica Hicklen, and all who worked so hard behind the “Victory in Missouri.” I would like to send my love out to my nation-wide Brothers and Sisters along with all of Black and Pink, as well as to
February 2019
Dominique Morgan. I am writing Black and Pink in the way of getting the word out about the mistreatment and injustice within the Missouri Department of Corrections (MDOC). For nearly 2 years now I have been fighting for the equality, protection, freedom, and justice for those within the MDOC’s system who are discriminated against, consumed as a misfit due to their sexuality, the stigma we as humans receive while incarcerated. I am a member of United Homosexual family here in Missouri Department of Corrections. To me it’s the unity of our fellow Brothers and Sisters and ground supporting community that holds us together while we demand respect. Yes I also recognize that I will become a target of the American Justice System which will either attempt or succeed in assassinating me for what I stand up to and for... I am a 30 year old white male everyone calls me J.R. for “Just Right.” I have written many times and don’t know whether or not any
Volume 10, Issue 1
of my letters have been published becasue I don’t receive your newsletters on a regular though when I do happen to run across one it brings such a great deal of respect and joy knowing what kind of love, pride, and loyalty my fellow Brothers and Sisters do each and every day of the month to support our rights. As I do my best to write when I can and hope that soon I will receive this wonderful gift of Black and Pink as well.
disabled people. No matter who you are. Love has no limit for me.
We are all a family and in this fight together Love your brother: J.R. (Just Right 21.8.5), MO
Always, I want to thank all my Black & Pink family and friends for their bravery.
Dear Black & Pink Family and Friends,
Evgeny (aka) Ravyn (UT)
HEY! This is your tranny girl Ravyn. I haven’t written in a long while but was highly motivated to do so by the Sep. 2018 Issue of Black and Pink. For some reason, it seems like I’m the only one from Utah that writes, which is ok, no pressure LOL.
This is War!
Well, After my 5 years at the Utah State Prison, I finally received a parole date of January 15, 2019. Disgustingly, I’ve spent all but 4 months of most of my 20’s in prison. I’m currently 27 years of age. Came in at 19, until 21. Then 21.5 until now. I’m currently writing this on 10/18/18 at 8:33pm.
Artwork by Rahim (TX)
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Big Bro BG (MA) wrote “I feel Black and Pink has little concern when it comes to the brothers.” First off, shout out to you Big Bro BG and all you other brothers. Even though I’m a 5’5” little Russian white girl. You are not alone. I send my love to all you Brothers, sisters, straights,
Wo wow! I’m very happy to hear some states to approve female clothing for those who identify as transgender. I hope Utah gets there. I’ve fought for 2 years for female clothing and cosmetics with no results. So if there are other trans women here in Utah (which I know there are) help me fight the fight. You all are just as important.
Love you all.
The first time I heard someone tell me that the U.$. Government was behind the 1980’s crack epidemic I immediately chalked it up to be an unrealistic conspiracy theory. My young naive mind couldn’t wrap itself around the notion that the holier-than-thou U.$. Government had flooded our communities with drugs that not only destroyed a whole generation B.U.T. also gave them the firepower to fill up the nation’s prison system. I had to have been deaf, dumb, and blind not to understand the evil that men do. Oliver North painted the backdrop for the world on national television. Yet, decade later there are those who won’t accept the fact that colonizers of today have attacked original people in this manner. And, I won’t get into those who still call Clinton our first black president. This is the same man
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who apologized to the nation for the “mistakes” he made by aggressively targeting black and brown youth for mass incarceration. Fact: those of us who use drugs in the wilderness of N. Amerikkka are exposing ourselves to chemical warfare. This ongoing assault has killed more than 700,000 since 2000. The weapon is hard drugs and people are killing themselves with it. Roughly 100,000 Amerikkkans have been killed in drug related homicides. This epidemic of illegal drug use is costing the economy over $1 trillion per year and destroying another generation of mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters. Since 1 in 6 Amerikkkans under the ag of 35 use illicit drugs on a monthly basis, Amerikkka’s self-inflicted damage is destined to get worse. If the CIA’s affair with the Real Rick Ross isn’t enough to supply this picture with vibrant enough colors for you and maybe you weren’t listening (deaf, dumb, blind) to the admissions of the Clinton administration...then let’s take this and build on a more historical worldly trip: Playing the Devil’s Advocate...the U.$. weren’t the first to utilize chemical warfare of this kind on a population. They may have learned about it from their parent country...Britain. In the 1800’s, British Colonizers tried to go into China on some Yacub shit. BUT the Chinese weren’t having it. So, they closed their borders to European traders. This enraged the 10%ers, so they waged a silent war. They took opium from the Middle East and flooded the far east with it. This opium war involved
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thousands of tons of opium being poured into China, which addicted millions of their people, devastating their economy, and contributed to their military loss against the British Empire. Unlike 85% of the Americkkkan population who don’t care to study the world around them, the Chinese took note of this technique. In 1927, China erupted in a civil war between the Communist Party and the National Party. Communist leader Mao Zedong instructed his people to grow poppy so they could produce opium and feed the noncommunist areas of China with it. As the drug became easier to get, more Chinese started to get high. Opium not only weakened the mind, body, and soul of Chinese society, it also devastated their government and its military. Needless to say, the Communists vanquished the National Party. Then, check out what they did next: they took draconian measures to eradicate their nation-wide drug problem by destroying poppy fields, imprisoning millions and executing suspected drug dealers. Something like what Clinton’s administration did to the urban population of the 1990s. Colonizers are still sitting at the helm of this empire. Except now, their techniques have been refined. The chains of slavery now come in the form of pills, powder, and synthetics. And we can’t blame anyone but ourselves. Block bleeders may be putting these chemicals into the hands of our people, yet it’s “us” who are using it on ourselves. By using drugs we are destroying
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the one thing that maeks us supreme over all else on this earth. The mind is the only thing that separates us from animals. What’s lacking in our lives that makes us want to do this to ourselves? Drugs won’t give us a free-dome. It only forces us into a slavery of the worst kind. More people are dying now from drug addiction than they did during the whole Vietnam War. And that’s cuz we’re still at war! Wake up, my loved ones! The time is now to end this genocide! P.E.A.C.E.! Wilberto “Gory” B. (CA) Ms. Dominique Morgan, First of all I’d like to say Congratulations for all the work you put in for the Black & Pink family! Keep up the good works also. You know one thing that I’ve learned in the 47 years of living and that is nothing in this world is easy no matter where you’re at. We can never give up and with the Help of each other all things are possible. We just have to keep on pushing with our heads up high. Another thing that I’ve learned about life while been locked up in prison for 25 years: straight peoples like to talk down on gay people all the time. I’m not the type of person to try to hide nothing from anyone because I love all Queens no matter what color they are. Queens are meant to be treated with lots of Love, Respect, and Care. A lot of the guys I chill with down here tell me I’m messed up, but if my Brothers and Sisters don’t say nothing about it I don’t care about what nobody else has to say. Just like you have
February 2019
plans for LGBTQ family members so do I. My dad left us (my brothers and sisters) some land in East Texas and what I have in mind is to put some rent houses on some land as well as some type of business for for LGBTQ+ peoples. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I’ll make it happen for us also. I’m locked up on a sex case and I’d gotten a FI-9R. My ex-celly got the both of us a wine case because he couldn’t stand to see Queens down here eat better than him so He wouldn’t take his wine case and that’s what got my FI-9R taken. They turned around and gave me a 3 year set-off. I’m not messed up behind it because I only have 30 years and that will only leave me with two years left on my sentence and then its over with. My plans are to get out and help the LGBTQ family members out the best way possible, because I’ve met some down to earth Queens down here in prison. Shouts out to Ms. Promise, Ms. Kim, Ms. Jamie, Ms. Steven, and Ms. Rena. These are just a few of the ladies that I’ve met while I’ve been locked up in prison. I just want to get out and show love back to the LGBTQ family members. After all, you all made my doing time as easy as possible as all while you’re down here in no man’s or no woman’s land either. Once again Ms. Dominique Morgan thank you for not giving up. God bless you always, as well as your family members. Keep your head up high to the sky and know that Prayers go up and Blessings come down. You keep up the good work also. Love to all my Black & Pink family! Gerland M. (TX)
Volume 10, Issue 1
Hello Black & Pink family, My name is Corderro L. AKA Baby Boi. I’m currently in Jefferson City Correctional Center AKA JCCC, I’ve been here since November 28th 2017. I’m a 28 yr old openly gay male. I’m going through a lot of messed up stuff for something I didn’t know was stolen. When I first got there I didn’t really have any problems everything was going okay well the best it can being in DOC. I had a friend there who looked out for, made sure no one tried to do anything to me. I’m a really laid back pretty Boi with a big heat so yeah there were guys all over trying to get with me. I turned them all down. I just wanted to do me and stick to myself and my few friends. So that’s what I did. The Parole board messed up on my account and has been charging me for the probation/parole intervention fees since I’ve been locked up. They were also still charging me on the streets when they told me out there that they were not charging me anymore and how they had fixed my account and cleared it out because I was on disability since 2011. I’m from Joplin, MO I’m one of the tornado survivors. My five family members that lived together well four cuz I was no longer with my sons mother but she came over to visit and see our son cuz I had full custody of him. Anyway we were all sucked up inside the tornado and thrown two blocks. It killed my cousin and my 16 month old son. It was devastating we were all spread out and got separated in different hospitals. My son was found three days later my Aunt searched everywhere for him when she finally found him the hospital had to do an emergency release on me so I could go get custody of his
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body since I had custody of him. I was in a wheel chair cuz I couldn’t walk at the time. I now have a lot of medical problems. I have a broken back, multiple sclerosis and just found out a couple years ago I have leukemia. I get no treatment whatsoever inside of DOC. They don’t even try to help even though they know everything. I also suffer from PtSD now along with several other mental disabilities. I’m very good at hiding all my medical problems from people on the inside. Few people know what I’ve been through but that’s cuz they have taken the time to talk to me and get to know me. Anyway on with what I’ve been dealing with on the inside. I”m a victim from the streets I was sexually molested when I was 3 yrs old till I was 6 yrs old by my older brother. Also by my babysitter Also a guy. I’ve always known since I was about 7 or 8 that I was gay cuz I always had an attraction to males. I didn’t come out till 2014 though. I always dated women through school but I never had sex with one till 12 days before my 18th birthday. However I did always mess around with guys when I was younger. I was always made fun of when I was younger cuz I have always been feminine acting. It took me till last year to stop caring what other people think or say about me. I let the hair on top of my head grow out I cut the sides and back really short and I wear eyeliner just under my eyes. When I do my eyes and hair I feel really good about myself I walk around with my head up high. Now back to when I was in WRDCC. My account is messed up so I spoke to the FUM AKA Functional Unit Manager and the case worker there they said I could use someone else’s account to purchase hygiene stuff till my account was fixed. Well I
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stocked up on everything I needed, all soap, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, razors & hair gels to be able to take to crossroads with me I had the limits I was aloud. No more & no less. Well this female CO that I had always been nice to decided one day she wanted to come and take everything when I asked what she was doing she said she was taking all of it cuz I didn’t buy it on my account and she called me a bitch ass fag. I told her I had permission to buy it on someone elses till my account was fixed. It was over two hundred dollars worth of stuff. She said well take it up with the case worker & FUM I said okay I will. So I did, they both told me well you didn’t buy it on your account I said you told me I could buy it on someone elses account till my account is fixed they said fill an IRR so I did I went all the way to the appeal and lost cuz I couldn’t prove it was mine so someone got all my stuff. A couple weeks after that I asked a different CO if I could work in the chow hall she said no she don’t let fags work there cuz she don’t like them. I said you can’t say that she said well I did, so I filed on it. Nothing happened all they said was you can’t prove it. Then one day a white shirt said look at that bitch ass, jack ass there. talking about me. I filed on him and once again they won cuz I was transferred to CCRC the next day so the case worker never filed the IRR I wrote. I even made a statement with a leutienit, it did no good. So I got to CCRC April 20th as soon as I got there the caseworker knew me from the last time called me to her office and told me she tried to stop me from coming to her camp cuz she didn’t like me. I told her I never did nothing to her and she said well a lot of people at this camp
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want to be with you and I don’t like ti so I’m going to do what I can to get you kicked off this camp. So I was in GP from April 20th to June 15th. On June 8th she filed a false Prea against another offender who was on a different side of the yard in a different house that I barely had contact with then she had me taken to Ad-seg on June 15th for it, where I sat till November 28th. I had nothing but problems with her she made threats to me she told me one day at my door she was not going to do anything to help me cuz she wanted my Bitch ass gone. So once again they win. I’ve been transferred to JCCC this is a horrible camp to be at. They sent me to the hole when I got here where I was treated bad because a CO in the hole skipped me on meals because he don’t like gay people either he made that very clear he called me a bitch ass fag to my face then he went out to the wing and yelled it. I asked for a white shirt he came and told me no white shirt wanted to see me and he said if I filed an IRR on him he would make sure I got moved to 8-house and that I was lost there and that I would not ever get out of it till I went home. Now I got COs picking on my trying to make me cut my hair or they said I’ll be put back in the hole for disobeying an order. I had my mama call up here and talk to the Deputy Warden so now I’m just waiting to see what happens. My hair is not very long it only goes to my ear lobe. Its kept in a man bun and I keep it very clean and well taken care of. I was sent to 4-house where I was picked on bad had no where to sit while eating cuz no one wanted a gay at there table so I skipped several meals cuz I felt hella uncomfortable. All I can say is if your an openly gay, trans, Bi or Lesbian it’s hard cuz everyone
February 2019
Black & Pink News
looks at you different and treats you different and not in a good way. There is to much hate in this world. I don’t hate anyone the only thing I hate is the ugly and by that I mean the people that treat us in ugly ways. I would like this to be published so people can read my story and know what I’ve been through and what I’m going through. It’s a cold, hard rough place for us to be in. I’ve
never been disrespected and treated as bad as I have in the past year for real no one should have to go through this. Just know if anyone out there reads this you are not alone. One of my goals in life is to help people that are going through hard times dealing with this kind of stuff, dealing with grief, people that are addicts or people that just need to talk. Thank you for taking
One Out of Every 10 by Gary F.
Volume 10, Issue 1
the time to listen to my story and for reading this. I love you all and I wish you all the best. Love to you all. Love, Corderro L. (MO) While I have received Black and Pink for sometime (and greatly enjoy the publication) this is my first time writing. In my sorrow I prefer to remain in silence, yet this year I received a holiday greetings card, personalized by . Shannen. For those of you who have never been incarcerated, you cannot know how much this means, that someone would take the time to reach out to one such as I (incarcerated). While I may have family outside these walls, you at Black and Pink (and especially Shannen) are my real family, for only you reached out. Thank you!
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the darkest of night. My sisters and brothers -- those of you hidden and concealed, a dream not reached for is a dream lost. Do not wait for time to pass by. Before you know it it’s too late. You then only have bitter ashes to drink... and silence. Take heart and courage! With love, Your Sister, Cynthia Ashley (SD)
Ever since I was a child, I knew I was different. But in the day and age I grew up, I dared not show anyone that difference. As I matured, I would hide and sneak, concealing my true self, always afraid, always ashamed. Anytime I would try to open up or confide in someone I thought I could trust – there was only rejection and ridicule, until I learned the Art of Silence.
My name is Derek T. W. and I’m a thirty-nine year old black male, and I’m currently being housed here a Century Corr. Institution. I was sentenced to thirty years with ten year mandatory, and this coming January will be seven years that I’ve been incarcerated. At this present time I’m working on my case, which things are looking pretty good for me, but things of that nature take time, and all could do is have patience, and allow the good Lord above to continue to work in my behalf. I was refered to your organization by another brother by the name of Timothy after reading the holiday postcard that yall sent him this holiday season. Tim explained to me how your organization is like a family to inmates behind these walls and gates.
It has been too long, too many years have gone by for me to be able to “pass” -- not even close. Now, each evening as I lay down to sleep, I pray to God that I receive my heart’s desire (that I be transformed as if a butterfly). Yet, each morning I wake up to heart throbbing disappointment. And so, I suffer in silence; my tears only showing in
It’s a good thing to know that we have people on the outside who actually care about us, because some of us are unfortunate to have family or friends to reach out to, or to receive something from this holiday season. Organizations such as Black & Pink is the type of organization that I thank God for, because the loving thought that yall have for us
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is what count, and by yall reaching out to inmates throughout the prison system around the world means so much to us all. Just knowing that we have someone out there who actually cares allows me to be able to walk around with a smile on my face. :-) We all go through some things at times (no matter who we are) but it’s nothing like having a friendly shoulder to lean on every now and then. So I encourage the Black & Pink organization to keep up the good work, because in the end you will receive a great reward. This year is about to come to an end, and we all will be coming into a new year, and hopefully my new year start off with some new friends within the Black & Pink organization. I love meeting new friends, especially the caring kind of friends who don’t mind spreading their love to us whos behind these gates and walls. I hope to hear back from you all soon, and may the good Lord above continue to bless my brothers and sisters within the Black & Pink organization throughout the world. With Love, Derek (FL) Dear Black and Pink Family, My name is Nikki D. I am in a state institution in Pennsylvania. I am a transgender woman. I love the Black and Pink newspaper so I would like to say some things to all who are reading this wonderful newspaper, that creates the rainbow everywhere. I am a shy young woman at the age of 22 years old. I do not like prison and I will see the light of day soon. I’ve noticed, read and heard of the drama, the woes
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and the violence in this world within our LGBTQI Communities, even murder has been placed against us, which is a very hurtful thing to me. It brings sadness and discomfort in our lives living who we want to be. But then I’ve noticed our LGBTQI Communities in the prison settings and the environment is the same way. If one girl isn’t trying to get with another girl’s man, husband, or wifey there would be no problems. But when or if that’s the case there may be other argumentative problems that escalate into your life by rumors which cause drama between two or three people. Just to start a fire to sit back and watch someone in our prison Community argue or even fight. No one is perfect. But, it’s just not on the outside of these iron houses. It’s also inside our Communities in prison. But inside these prisons e’ll fight amongst each other. You even have some who believe they run the Community like some bully and it’s like not even true that anyone of us run any LGBTQI Community in prison. Yes, we have people in our Community that knows the ropes. But when one believes that they’re the King of the Hill of the LGBTQI prison community and only draws drama, chaos and mayhem in everyone’s life...That’s a Simple Simon who only loves to watch drama by their hand unfold on the others in our prison Communities. In prison we should all just support one another as long as we’re here. But to me, the things in society that happen to us, is also happening in the prison complexes. Has anyone ever noticed that? And if you have, why aren’t you helping to strengthen our prisons’ LGBTQI Communities like they’re doing out in society to bring us together? Black and Pink, Hearts on a Wire,
February 2019
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TGI, and many more are out there outside and inside the prisons doing their part. We inside these prisons should be doing our part. Instead of causing drama, chaos, and mayhem between each other. I’d like to shout out to my Girlie Girl Miley, to my husband Lite. Love you both. Shout out too to Chelsea Manning, Jazz, L. Cox. All 3 of you are fabulous. Kisses and hugs for everybody.
problem if another person wants to hold onto an emotional state that’s unhealthy.
Nikki D. ( PA)
Love always In Black & Pink
Dear Beautiful Souls at Black and Pink -
f.o.c.u.s. (NY)
This is my first time writing to the letters section. I wrote a poem before and submitted it, I don’t know if it was printed. What prompted me to write to Black and Pink in this moment is the fact that “Ms. Samantha B” went to the Box & left me out here in General population missing her presence. I’m at Elmira correctional facility & the guards here would often say slick remarks to her and about me behind my back. Samantha is a white beautiful grey-eyed Transgender Queen & I was not afraid to walk by her side on the way to mess hall for meals or whatever. The fact that I’m African American, and Samantha’s white; made some guards upset, but we didn’t care. We hung out anyway. Now she done went and got caught up with some rule violation in another part of the prison and sent to the S.H.U. and I miss her. She was fun, funny, real, & a breath of fresh air in this place where other prisoners hate you for not being a clone of their hypocratic ignorance. I refuse to hate another human being because of their sexuality etc. And because I refuse to hate I’m hated in return. “Oh well...” That’s not my
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Volume 10, Issue 1
trans-friendly. Any complaints or requests for assistance, counseling, pronouns, make-up it is met with a standard reply:
Samantha I want you to know I think about you often and hope you read my letter... yes she gets Black and Pink too! Hopefully wherever you are when you get your next issue will be better than this one in more ways than one.
“This is the deep-south, it’s the Bible belt. You can’t expect things to change overnight.” - ASW Lowery I try to talk to counselors and psychologists and receive the same reply! It’s insane! I retorted that they used to discriminate against blacks down here too, but those days are gone. The staff just shuts down when faced with logic.
Dear Black & Pink family,
One of the counselors challenged me for wearing make up (I use water color pencils). I replied that I am a woman.
Holiday greetings from Marianna Florida where I am thrilled to say has not enjoyed a white Christmas! Definatly not missing Indiana winter!
“We don’t take that shit here,” he replied. My response was I’d rather be dead than look in the mirror and see my father. He accused me of being suicidal and tried to get me sent to lock up.
So in September of 2017 I was sentenced in Federal Court to fifteen years. Working up to sentencing my attorney obtained as much documentation as she could to ensure that I would be placed in a women’s facility. My pre-sentence investigation clearly demonstrated that prior to my arrest I had lived my life 24/7 as a female and the probation officer recommended placement at FMC Carswell, the women’s federal medical facility at Fort Worth, Texas. On April 22, 2016 I received my legal name change to July Justine Shelby and the court ordered the State of Indiana to reflect my gender as female on my birth certificate. The following day I took a letter from my general practitioner stating that I had made “ir-reversable
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artwork courtesy of Jesus Barrara via justseeds.org
changes” to my physiology and that I was now medically female, to the social security office and changed the federal record to reflect that I am female. The day after that I obtained my Indiana driver’s license with my new name and a big fat “F” on it. It’s the only “F” I ever received that I was proud of. So all of these documents as well as my medical records were received by the Federal Court and the Judge recommended to the BOP that I be placed at . Carswell where I could continue my transition and
pursue my SRS. Needless to say, BOP in its infinite wisdom has placed me at Marianna, a male facility and nobody seems capable of giving me a straight answer on what went wrong and what I need to do to fix the mistake and obtain a transfer to a women’s facility. If anyone has experience in this issue, please contact me or publish a reply with details of what I must do. I do not expect help from the administration here. They are not
“We allow you to purchase bras and panties from commisary.” - ASW Lowery So we are relegated to closet cross dressing, I fought that battle the first fifty years of my life! Bottom line, FBOP, FCI Marianna and the Transgender Executive Committee are not focused on transgender rights or mental health. I am one pissed off lady and I need advice. Love to all! Her Majesty
July Justine S. (NY)
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Peace, Blessings, & Greetings to all the staff of Black&Pink, and all my LGBTQ brothers and sisters behind the wall and out in the free cipher. I be the God “Mecca Allah.” This is my first time reaching out and I hope that my wisdom gets a chance to be read by everyone. I’ve been receiving Black and Pink for about a year now, and I must say that the wisdom that I read from the many different brothers and sisters, has really helped me to be more comfortable with self. There was a time when I had a strong dislike towards gay people because of the things I was taught. Long story short: in 2002-03 while in the country jail, I ran across an old friend that I knew as a teenager when I was in training school. Her name was “CJ,” but back then, I don’t think nobody knew she was gay because she was more boyish. CJ had got locked up in my county and didn’t know anyone, but when she heard someone call my name, she remembered me. So one morning she called me to the vent and we started talking. At first I didn’t know who she was, but as I began to remember, this wasn’t the same CJ I remembered as a teenager. This CJ was more feminine, and the longer we talked, I started to feel comfortable with her. Eventually, I got her moved in the block with me because she didn’t know anyone and I didn’t want anything to happen to her. We got to reminiscing about old times, and she admitted that she used to have a crush on me when we were younger. Long story short;... CJ became my first and she will be my last. We ended up on 2 different prison camps together. We both matured in all areas of our lives, she’s become a transwoman and going through that whole process, and I plan on marrying her when I’m
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released in 2021... I said all of that to say this: I thought being within the Folds of the NOG&E and the NOI/ FOI was my life. But after meeting CJ, I realized that being with her and dedicating my knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to the LGBTQ+ community was my real life. Now when I ask myself, “Who am I?” I’m a cadre birthed by liberation, fathered by oppression, and living by any means necessary to help fight for the rights and freedom for all my brothers and sisters within the LGBTQ community. I am constantly challenged by those whom have already marked my grave, but I refuse to die. I am war, I am justice, I am humane philosophy, I am what the ignorant dare not to be because I do not fear who I be, G.O.D., a leader and warrior within this community! I appreciate all the wisdom and knowledge from everyone, stay strong within the belly of the beast and out in the free cipher, and know that you have another fighter and revolutionist on your team. Shout-out to my soon to be wife “CJ AKA Heavenly Rain” I love you beautiful! Much love to everyone in the struggle... Peace and Blessings, Mecca Allah, NC First Rights Est.Words:1218 A BEAUTIFUL WORLD June 26th, 2015 marked another historic moment for America and our citizens of the LGBT communities all across the country. This Ruling has given them a breath of fresh air, and the freedom to finally marry their longtime partners-at last-saying: “I Do.” Regardless of their sex, they now can become a perfect union.
February 2019
Love is love, and should not be dictated by anyone. If it’s true love (not lust) then, despite the genders, creates a bond so strong, through struggle, sacrifice, and endeavor; this is a bond that can never be broken, and forever cherished. I can still hear the cheers of victory, along with the clamor of grumbles from the disgruntled. If you remain still and very quiet, you can hear God (The Grand Architect) working on our world, with his/her tools. I’m now 40 years young, (Lol),an Author, Screenwriter, and reformed prisoner. I grew up on the tough streets of Bronx, N.Y., and New Haven, Connecticut; as well as other states that I’ve found myself in. I’ve endured struggle my entire life; even up till now. I can remember my adolescent days, recollecting on my peers and their derogatory comments, ridiculous phobias, about another persons “suspected tendencies” or “sexual preference.” I would silently think, “Why do you care? They’re not bothering you.” I eventually came to the conclusion that, either “they” (The Persecutors) wished to have had the courage to be “open” about their hidden secrets (which was the case most times), so that the facade they wore day in, and day out, would no longer be needed. The other half of the persecutors were either raised, or taught by family; or innate religious beliefs; that what they’ve learned was law, written in stone, and any thing other was wrong. Then you have those who are just plain evil, filled with hatred; wanting the world and everything in it to suffer, and burn along with them. As I grew older and matured (at least I’d like to think I matured), I had members of my family, friends’ families, and schoolmates
Volume 10, Issue 1
who eventually came out about who they truly are. I can remember their expressions, searching my eyes for signs of discontent or silent judgement; hoping, deep down, that our long time friendship wouldn’t come to an end. I like to think I’m different. I love my friends based on who they are and how they treat me. Therefore, I support whatever they choose, as long as it’s positive. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, bi and transgender. I remember going out to clubs, restaurants, movies, et cetera, and have a great time; not caring about what others thought. WE, as true human beings, (not all people are human)have to broaden our knowledge and open our minds. This is the only way to evolve and bring about true change. The Earth is androgynous and continuously changing. (You don’t have to be a geologist to notice.) You just have to pay attention to what’s important and focus less on the pettiness. Our history has two faces: one good, one evil. We’ve made many mistakes: slavery; racism; fascism; displays of prejudice; discrimination; genocide; hate crimes and senseless acts of violence. For example: Charleston, S.C., June 18, 2015. These are blemishes we can never forget, and forced to overcome. As human beings, we also have many great triumphs. We fight for love, what’s right, justice and equality. Mary Wollstonecraft- 1759;d.1797. An English writer and feminist, published: A Vindication Of Rights Of Woman.(1783-1826) “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.”The Declaration of Independence composed by Thomas Jefferson, amended by Benjamin Franklin. William Wilberforce - England,
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1759; d.1833. A British abolitionist and member of parliament. Mr. Wilberforce converted to Christianity, and honored his faith and religious conviction by fighting for social reform. He stood on the forefront to abolish the British slave trade. Mahatma Gandhi- 1869;d.1948. An Indian revolutionary who used tactics of nonviolent protest to thwart their oppressors. Gandhi (Mahatma means “Great Soul.”) stated: “There are many causes I am prepared to die for, but none I am prepared to kill for.” A gay bar (Stonewall Inn), on June 28, 1969, in Greenwich Village, was raided by the N.Y.P.D. This raid not only sparked two nights of rioting, but also birthed the modern day LGBT movement, and expression of sexual identity. PRESENT DAY. Cornerstones of our Beautiful World. We can open a magazine and see the gorgeous, transwoman named: Laverne Cox, pose nude or grace the cover of TIME (June 9th, 2014 issue). Her amazing beauty isn’t just physical, it illuminates in her story. She inspires others to be themselves and not what the “World” wants them to be. Laverne shared her struggle; showing us where she was, and where she is now; which is a remarkable feat. In an excerpt from the TIME article, Laverne Cox tells a 6 year old, who’s bullied and teased at school: “You’re beautiful. You’re perfect just the way you are. I was bullied too, and was called all kinds of names, and now, I’m a big TV star.” This is what “being human” is all about. Laverne could be my friend
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any day. That’s how much I love her heart, soul, and personality. Human beings of the World, remember...there will always be haters, naysayers, obstacles, and judgmental people. Some will try to use Holy Scriptures to stunt your happiness. 1st John 4:7-8 states: “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.” God created us ALL out of love. No matter whom we love, decide to marry, or spend our lives loving, we’re doing what we were created to do. God is ALL, created ALL and loves ALL. Darkness can never extinguish light, it can only make God brighter. When we love, we create art. Art is beautiful. When the same love permeates the world, we not only make it beautiful, we create the most exquisite masterpiece of all time. PERSECUTE: To subject someone to hostility and ill-treatment, or to pursue in such a way as to injure or afflict: harass; or to cause to suffer because of belief. FROM THE TALMUD: Whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world. BY TYREISE D. S. (AZ)
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Black & Pink News
Hey yall!
Of course we will fight, argue, & have jealously what family doesn’t but when push comes to shove and shit hits the fan we need to mount up be there for each other! Marcus/ Angel, Rozay, Reese Cup, Raniya, Juicy aka Juanita, Blue, Lil Shawn, Bless, Michaella/Taylor, Hazel, Jayma, Tino, Josh, and Nikkie I send my love keep ya’ll heads up! Strawberry I’m sorry and I forgive you too! I leave my community in Warmth, Love, Solidarity, Pride and Power under the Rainbow.
It’s Skylar T. (t-girl) writing yall from Pontiac CC seg. Its almost time for me to be released from seg after nine months of seg. During that time Ive learned, realized, and grew a lot! First off R.I.P. (rest in power) Kandy we all miss you and love you. We raised hell after they antogonized you and let you kill yourself girl! 2nd off the passing of my homegirl Kandy made me realize how alone our community (LGBTQ) is in prison as well as ostracized by both staff and inmates. I wont waste time explaing the horrid things done and said to us during our hardship of losing a member of our LGBTQ family because all of you have been through it if not worst when it comes to the daily abuse geared towards us in prison. The group of girls and boys (woman and men) that I was with during that time period united without selfishness or looking for notariety which made us a force to be reckoned with. Of course admin eventually separated us (we raised hell and fucked shit up seg lol) by sending us “Super Sissies” (the heterosexual inmates gave us that name) to different seg prisons. Soon after we were mixed other LGBTQ members who were more concerned with who looks better, who slept with who’s man, who more $ ect who also had no ambitions to become one to fight the war currently fought on two fronts (inmates and staff). The struggle to became real and even though we’re oppressed by inmates and staff we at times oppress and tear each other down (the oppressed being the oppressors SMH). I don’t want a death to be the reason for any of us to unite again especially when us uniting behind these walls can prevent a death! We need to come together now!
Skylar T. (IL)
Dear Black and Pink Family, This is my first time writing and I just received my first newsletter. The stories and poetry broke my heart that such treatment is acceptable in this country with such malice. My name is Derick, I more commly go by “”Latif””. I’ve been Muslim for 20 years and Bisexual for 25. I’m kind of used to being a target. First, I’m a white (French Canadian) Muslim which makes me a target for white CO’s because they believe I’m a race traitor. Then, within my Muslim community I’m targeted for being Bi. I’ve been incarcerated since I was 19 and I will be 39 next month. All of it has made me kind of numb to being a target. But one thing about me is I don’t let any of that get me down. I try to live a positive lifestyle, despite the negativity. For instance, I hate the way they treat a very beautiful trans woman named Zoe here. I think all of the women CO’s are mad because she looks infinitely better than them and they try with all their might to pull her down. I absolutely hate it. Alon with that, many inmates mistreat her by flashing their privates or
February 2019
trying to grab her. It angers me so much! It’s a good thing that she can defend herself. But, for those who can’t, or are overpowered, my heart goes out to you. But, I also call you to speak up about it! You are beautiful and no sexual misconduct should be tolerated. Call for them to be properly titled as Predators and Rapists. Don’t hold back. Let everyone know that you will not be victimized. In fact, here’s a poem I wrote recently: Strength As a whole, a community, our strength is great True Passionate That we cannot debate Because whether I’m here, you’re there Nearby Far We are everywhere Joined in faith with unshakable bond Connection Unity Togetherness From now to beyond God will guide us through whatever we face Endure Challenge In all times, in any place That’s where we get our power, magical ability Mystical Remarkable So, we’ll never have fragility Because we are heart-linked family - Our strength is our support of one another. We are all bricks for the foundation of something greater... a unified love that illuminates all of existence. So, let our bright selves shine and never settle for less!
Volume 10, Issue 1
Join me in spreading this message. Thank all of you in our community. Love Eternally, Derick aka Latif” (NJ) Dear Black & Pink family, This is my first time writing, and I really hope this letter gets in the next issue. I’ve been through a very traumatic experience as a child. I was raped by my best friend’s brother at the age of 13. I started liking men and women. I had a three year relationship with this dude when I was 17 and he love me for who I was okay, yes he was older. I want to let all my gay family know I was scared to come out but I did it anyway and it felt good to have your voice heard. I’m a Christian and believe if LGBTQ stand together we can overpower in numbers. People judge us cause who we are. My family turn their back on me. I don’t get letters, cards or pictures cause of my life style. They also change their numbers but it okay cause I got a real family who love me. I got 12 years left and I’ve been gone for 5 years. McKayla in Illinois I’m going through the same thing. I will like to say to all my LGBTQ family stop fighting each other and uplift one another. Thank you Black & Pink for welcoming into y’all familly with tears of joy. Yours truly Timothy AKA Gods Child” (IL) Hello! My awesome, precious B&P Family! Ms. Jessica is in the house!
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I am making a call to arms, from me to all of my brothers and sisters, including all my/our Cis gender females out there, as well as all trans brothers and sisters, both incarcerated and in the free world!!! Enough fighting! And arguing with each other. We are all the same, we are all fighting for the same things, acceptance! Equality! Love! Respect. This especially goes for all our Cis sisters out there, both incarcerated and in the free world!!! We all need to unite together! Cis gender, transgender! They are all just labels! Look, we as transgender females/ women, do not threaten the womanhood of Cis women! It is not our fault that we were born in the wrong bodies, or that we can’t give birth, etc. However, those things do not make us any less female than a naturally born female. All we want, is to take our rightful places among our naturally born sisters! To stand loud and proud! With all of you Cis sisters. Standing shoulder to shoulder, back to back, as one solid wall of unity, liberty, freedom, safety, equality, and finally, justice for all. United we stand, divided we fall. Stop judging one another, and start loving, and supporting each other. Stop hating on your transgender sisters. Cis females/transgender females, they are just labels!!! Lose the labels, find ourselves! I, Ms. Jessica Anne personally consider myself female! Period. No, I have not yet been able to start physically transitioning, no I have not been able to get female hormones. The DOC refuses to give them to me,
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but that does not make me any less female than a naturally born female. I am fighting to get on the hormones, and I will!! I have known since age 5, that I am female, and that will never change! Whether anyone else accepts this or not. I did not just wake up one day, and decide, oh! I want to be female! No, that’s not how it works. My brain has told me that I am female, for as long as I can remember. Look, it’s up to everyone out there!! Transgender and Cis people alike to fight for each other, not with each other. It is also up to all of us, to help our B&P chapters everywhere, and to help all the organizations out there, that are trying to help us. It’s now or never. I keep hearing that everyone wants discrimination, and hate, and violence to stop against trans women and Cis women alike! Well, it all starts with us, I am begging everyone! Cis women, trans women to unite as females, women! Period! One Love. Ms. Jessica Anne (MA)
artwork courtesy of Jesus Barrara via justseeds.org
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February 2019
Black & Pink News
The Truth About Incarceration When I hear folks with no direct experience, knowledge or even a sense for things as they are for this country’s incarcerated citizens attempt to pontificate at length on things that we - who live in it - could elucidate, I just lower my eyes and shake my head. We who know the pain and same of prison violence and human debasement first hand realize that it is not a reality show on T.V. to entertain the curious. Maybe history teaches us so little because we, both as perpetrator, and as victim, will not explain that it doesn’t end when the show is over, nor does it end with a score or victory like a sport. It continues eating into the mind, body and soul, like a cancerous worm.
Well, it just goes on and on, and at the tax payers’ expense, because the prison administrators have an agenda that is slanted at the tax dollar. Do you ever wonder why prison is so dangerous and depraved? Well, wonder no longer, because I can tell you why. The prisoners do not establish the tone and the atmosphere within the Prisons; They are established by the people who run the prisons, and the danger and depravity are infused into it in order to create the high statistical data needed in order to lobby for more prisons, more guards, higher pay grades and more power. I have to say, and I’m sure that you will agree ... That is far too high a cost for such an unworthy cause. This is the way of it and no one should pretend otherwise. In prison we are told, “well, let’s just not worry about those things” by the prison investigators ad psychologists, “After all, this is
prison and everyone has to find a way to deal with it, not just you.” Anything to condition us for more maltreatment. They have created a new self-structure for the prisoner and it’s not just the individual it will haunt, but the whole of society. Negatively altering a human’s selfstructure will subsequently impact the behavior they habituate in a negative way. Like a poorly trained animal, we are trained and forced away from wellness, not toward it; And a maladjusted person is simply the opposite of a fully functioning one, whom is ready to take place in society. The abusers in prison, whether guard or prisoner are deeply troubled and textbook sadists, who easily choose their victims from out of the hostile prison environs. Their common victims are those who passively comply, or even volunteer as an only option. Seizing on the weak and vulnerable, they use physical, psychological, emotion, sexual, financial abuses, deny medical / mental health treatment, The abuser minimizes the harm he causes, denies all wrong doing and totally blames the victim. It is so very easy to find someone to lie in favor of the human rights violations in prison, but all too hard to find one who will speak the truth against it, and speak the truth and speak the truth... until finally he is heard.
by Gra (FL)
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Dear B&P Family,
but he was only the first. Over the next few years I was also abused by 2 neighborhood boys one of which I seemed to like. Which is how I came to know my attraction for other boys.
This is my first letter to you my LGBTQ family. Although I have been receiving Black and Pink for a few years. I am truly sorry that I have been reluctant to write, it’s just hard for me to open up. I cannot tell you how many times I have begun a letter only to shred my words and lose myself in the day to day norms. I received my October/November issue of B&P yesterday and a few of the letters spoke to me and have given me the drive to complete this letter and I will be including a few selections of my written works to further share my soul with my family. My name is Christopher Jude and I am a 36 year old ginger, also I am Gay (don’t worry it’s not contagious!). I have a big heart but I am very guarded as I have many scars. I’ve known I was this way since I was 7 years old. When I was 5 I was abused by my older brother
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Over the years I noticed that I could easily talk to girls but when it came to other boys I would be completely flustered. I had a lot of secret crushes and a few experiments, but it wasn’t until I was 17 that I had my first serious relationship. When I first met Shane I was working at McD’s to support my street racing addiction. I was a preppy city boy and he was a gorgeous redneck, we were polar opposites! We quickly bonded over my car and became best friends. We grew close almost overnight but it seemed destined to stay in the friend zone until I almost died in a horrible car accident. I survived but sadly my car did not. The night after I was released from
artwork courtesy of Meredith Stern via justseeds.org
It’s not always the huge evils - the self evident ones like the prisoner who brutalizes his cellmate all night and then kills him just as the doors roll open to start the day; The mentally ill prisoner who is locked in the scalding shower of a prison’s mental health unit until he is dead; The prisoner who gets raped simply because he is alone and isolated; The prisoner who gets beaten to death by a squad of guards, just because he won’t shut up ... There are the subtle, covert evils that occur daily: Prisoners in confinement, segregation and mental health units who are being denied the right to shower; being served food with tobacco spit in it or given “Air Trays” (trays without food); The verbal debasement of the voiceless ones, day and night; The assaults and extortions of the elderly prisoners, who have
paid their dues with decades of life and loss; The subjugation of the non-gang prisoners, who are forced slaves and “hold downs” for gang weapons, drugs and illegal cell phones; The transexual and homosexual prisoners running for their lives from religious gang sects; The highjacking of the religions, religious sacraments, creeds and symbols from traditional believers, to be used by gang sects only; The pauper prisoner who stinks, even after showering, because the prison system will not pay wages for work rendered.
Volume 10, Issue 1
the hospital I hobbled out to see my car and after a good cry I downed a handful of pills and decided to go for a walk/limp. After an hour of seemingly aimless wandering I found myself a few houses down from Shane’s. It was 1 am but I knew he’d be up so I called him to see if I could stop by. Needless to say I got screamed at for walking when I was not supposed to be. Well one thing led to another and after a few hours of Halo and quite a few shared pills his mother found us sleeping naked in his bed. After that I spent nearly every night for 3 years in his bed. Those were the best years of my life, I was able to be myself and I was in love. But when push came to shove I was a coward and I broke our hearts by marrying the mother of my kids. Now all these years later I am divorced, single and locked up. The funny thing is I’m using this time to find myself. And while I refuse to get into a relationship due to trust issues, I’m finally being myself. I am Gay and I am Proud. I’m not sure where 2019 will lead me but I do know I am not alone. And while I sit here in OH I won’t always be here and I will find my “home” and I will one day, with hope, love again. Keep your heads up and stay strong. Christopher (OH) I would like to give a shoutout to my good friend and loved one: Raul Gonzalez nickname: Mousey. I love you. Miss you. Thinking about you. Hope to hear from you soon, lucky forever yours. Thanx! Much love, Billy William (CA)
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Black & Pink News
February 2019
Volume 10, Issue 1
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Black & Pink News
February 2019
Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family Untitled --Untamed Battering rain, Windy Roads no shame The trees sway, at night I play Life of pain, No one to Blame, the needles fire, Is my only desire The family cry, I’m trying to die so much Inside, no longer wishing to hide, living in sin, as I fix up my rinse feeling Bliss as I twitch, mind no longer making sense paranoid with the crimes I commit, now I sit doing my stint Doing time in a dark hellish pit Venus -dedicated to my wife Venus Scared state, on my feet looking down, wanting to weep heart Beats, feel like I’m drowning life was lost, now I found the utter fear, as I consult my seer as souls touch, an unspoken rush was it luck, or fates founding cause before you, I was drowning life of pain, unmoving rain when you came, I saw the day still afraid, wondering if you stay this life is a mess, just like the rest without you love, I must confess my heart is true, as I think of you my only hope, yours is too the bond I feel, with so much zeal is only cause, you are near remember I’m in this, cause I love you Venus till death do us part, and beyond death’s mark
as our souls embark, I speak from my heart love forever your soulmate, never depart For Venus, my wife by Andrew R. (AZ) The Jewel Raevhen: I’ve been kickin it with you since 2017 feeling for the substance of each other I’ve let my thoughts become a stream to paint you love in color I wanted to give you myself humble, and not take experience as a joke you deserved realness from the jungle and sincerities highest notes I’ve studied life by the angle entrenched by the depths of the highway and I recognized that you’re an angel a Raevhen that God sent my way I knew I had to be cautious wisdom told me to be gentle I couldn’t afford etheric losses so I gave you love on the mental I know it took honest discernment to feel the structure at its foundation the psychological I had to learn it to create our journey of elation the rope that we hold together was handed to us by hope and belief our oneness can’t ever be severed as we turned over a new leaf the picture is a reminder of our
loves existence, as time stands still, I fell your love through the distance, knowin it’s God’s will, I feel your presence through lives vibrations, your being vestal, our stronghold is loyalties summation of our love intentional. We share a unique connection braided by our spiritual aptitude we let truth lead our direction and held firmly to loves fortitude when I shared your angelic space your beauty was the highlight of my day until today I haven’t erased emotions I still have yet to say It was imperative to give you mental clarity so that I could nurture a tender soul I knew time together was a rarity so I let the healing process naturally flow I wanted to be your ultimate difference to encourage as time dwindled down I wanted you in peace at the inferance to feel what I feel without sound as a man I take accountability to help you overcome lifes grueling tests as your mate it’s my responsibility to reach God so our road is blessed we’ve come to create one universe with the innovation of loves pure heart authenticity can’t ever be rehearsed as your best friend I’m just doing my part I gave upon the picture, and smile at your memory we’re loves perfect mixture, your at your memory
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Volume 10, Issue 1
we’re loves perfect mixture, your lifes flawless remedy beautify has been the inspiration, love has been its tool it’s sculpted lives into a new formation, with you being a jewel... Poetically your mate, Dylan by Anthony G. (TX) A Meditation of Hope and Life Close your eyes Hold on in your darkness A light is coming to Redress Redeem, Repeat, Relight You will be blessed You will be saved Redeem, Repeat, Relight You won’t be blind No, you are fine Redeem, Repeat, Relight You are who you are Not the label they made Redeem, Repeat, Relight He, she, her him You are who you say you are If only within Redeem, Repeat, Relight Open your eyes Let in the Life Saved, Released, Alive”
by Jessica W. (PA)
Friendship I understand we never met before; So at this moment I’m a stranger... All I ask is to become a Friend in your life; And to protect you from any danger... Every hand becomes open; And close at will...
A chance was never given to me; So I had to become better with my writing skills... You may be asking yourself; Could he really be a Friend... Could I give him a chance in my life; Or would he hurt me like other man’s... I really can’t cherish my feelings, But I can cherish this pen... Giving thanks to the ink inside of it; As it located a new Friend... I hope you accept me for who I am, Because I have come a long way... A lot of people have left me for dead, But a lot of them never found their brighter day... If I never hear back from you; Here’s a poem you can keep... It’s the memories of an unknown Friend; You never got the chance to meet...
by David G. (FL)
A Haiku: Transgender One gender outward Conflicts with identity within Change is empowering Day of Liberation At a young age, feeling different, not knowing how to explain and express. Wanting to dress different as to my brothers. Secretly desiring my sister’s clothing, the black dress and shoes to go with. Desires over time become overflowing. Coming out to be honest, feels so wrong. My sister suspects something. One morning, she came into my room, leaving what I have been desiring.
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Since she knows now, our connection brings elation. Having her acceptance means so much. No longer hiding, evolves greater relation. She loves me as a sister, as I have my Day of Liberation. Transgender Equality Being of one gender that everyone sees, conflicts with what you feel within. Desiring to live more complete, with more elation than before. Living as the opposite gender, it empowers... it inspires... and fulfills. Many others are ignorant and judge without understanding, do become hateful. Some do actions... many speak insults, even so... we still have a choice. Either, we listen and follow along... or ignore it and not react, for what is right? Winter Sunset Proposal On a cold sunset night, the moon glimmering just right. Across the glass smooth lake, beautiful trees to stare in awe. With surrounding mountain and hills, the couple embrace each other. Looking into each other’s eyes, then she says there is something. Fluidly, she gets down on one knee, finally she says yes. They are in glee and aglow, then noticing a white dove flying above. In seasonal spirit, they finally kiss to end the night.
by Emily Douglas (SD)
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Love is calling your Name Love is calling your name, just close your eyes and listen to your heart you’ll feel what I’m saying “Love is calling your name” so open up, take the call. no matter who you are, love is for all. Black, Spanish, French. Really do don’t matter at all when love call, “”Love is calling your name”” because love is right. Love is God. Can bring pain. But at the same time make sweet. Love is what it is, love is calling your name, so pick up It’s me Love y’all, M-D “ by Micahel D. (LA) CONTRABAND FREEDOM: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. BECAUSE FREE THINKING, INDEPENDENCE OF SPIRIT AND OPEN MINDEDNESS ARE LIKE ACIDS THAT EAT AWAY AT ALL PRISON BARS. EQUALITY: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. BECAUSE BROTHERHOOD ALWAYS SPEAKS OUT AGAINST, AND THREATENS POWER STRUCTURES. JUSTICE: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. HOW MANY OF MY BROTHERS ARE HERE WHO SHOULDN’T BE? SOME INNOCENT OF GUILT, OTHERS GUILTY OF INNOCENCE.
February 2019
Black & Pink News
PEACE: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. FROM FISTS AND SHANKS TO SHIELDS AND BATONS. VIOLENCE IS THE WAY OF ALL TYRANNY. LOVE: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. THE WARM EMBRACE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS. THE TOUCHING THE HOLDING OF LOVERS DEAR. THE FIRES OF PASSION STOKED AND QUENCHED BY HANDS LIPS TONGUES AND BODIES. ALL THIS IS DENIED AND FORBIDDEN HERE. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR LOVE IN HELL! TRUTH: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. BECAUSE IF WE KNEW EVEN HALF OF WHAT THE SYSTEM DIDN’T WANT US TO KNOW SURELY THE WALLS WOULD COME TUMBLING DOWN. FOR THEIR BRICKS ARE LAID WITH THE MORTOR OF DOUBLE THINK. AND THEIR FOUNDATIONS ARE ALWAYS BUILT UPON FALSEHOOD. THIS IS THE HOUSE ORWELL’S BIG BROTHER BUILT. UNITY: IS CONTRABAND IN PRISON. BECAUSE THROUGH UNITY WE CAN JOIN THE FIGHT AGAIST CRUELTY, MALFEASANCE AND CORRUPTION AS A BULWARK OF MIGHTY SOLIDARITY. FOR UNITY ALWAYS STANDS TALL AGAINST UNFAIRNESS OF ALL KINDS. BUT, IF I TAKE YOUR HAND... YOU, ME, AND TOMORROW LINK UP AS ONE. TOGETHER, PERHAPS, WE CAN FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS DECEPTION, THIS MISNOMER,
THIS EVIL HOAX, THIS LIE THE SYSTEM CALLS “”CORRECTIONS.”” UNITED THERE IS LITTLE WE CANNOT DO. MAKING VOWS AGAINST INJUSTICE, RAISING VOICES IN LOUD PROTEST AGAINST HARM MASQUERADING AS “”REHABILITATION.”” SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER, WE ARE A RESOUNDING WAR CRY, SHOUTING DOWN ALL THAT IS UNFAIR WE ARE THE CAGED WRETCHES WHOSE WORDS ARE A CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE SILENCE OF INDIFFERENCE. AND, OUR VOICES WILL NEVER STOP YELLING “”FOUL!”” UNTIL WE ARE FINALLY HEARD.”
by Alfred R. (CT)
Mishberach with your own name It’s easy to pray for the healing of others when we feel concerned or scared or powerless, to offer up our hopes that they be healed In body and mind and spirit. we speak their names with love and wish for their wholeness To pray for your own healing... your name feels stuck in your throat when the time comes. To ask for your own rifuah, you must acknowledge and lift up all those broken parts of yourself, And claim them as your own.
blackandpink.org
Volume 10, Issue 1
It’s hard to ask for help; harder still to count up your wounds, the pain that plagues you, the newly healed scars, And - to quote Pesha Gertler Life them, one by one, close to your heart and say ‘holy, holy’? Know that you are beloved by those thinking of you. They would pray for your healing with enthusiasm Have compassion upon yourself. In this sacred space You have permission to think of yourself To care for yourself, To pray for yourself. May we all be given complete healing of body and spirit, for we are all holy, holy. - Michael Moskowitz”
by Gra (FL)
Love is Great Love is Funny Love is Sexy Love is Cuty Love is Me Love is Beauty Love is Pretty Love is You. Good Nite Good Day Love You by Antwain L H. (CA) Infamous 727 “”BLACKJACK DA KIDD”””
APOLOGIES My apologies! my so sincere apologies that I didn’t write this piece much quicker; like liquor, this feeling is sicker, drunk & stunk red-yellow eyes won’t yield to the rain! Sane? I don’t know -- conscious or unconscious my apologies; my so sincere apologies -- They won’t let it go! A tug of war between thoughts & the unknown -- Guilt got my back; while honesty stabbing me right through the heart -- My apologies! My so sincere apologies!! Why me??? “
by Thurin M. (IL)
The Cell is Hell When your life inside is how you make it, it could be easy or it could be hell. You just need to make your time inside count. The cell will be hell, but it will make you feel all alone. So don’t let the time do you, you do the time. Why make yourself go through shit, you should be hard and strong and be the man with the plan. Syringe with poison The bitch with the needle just standes there, will she put that syringe into my arm? will she inject that poison into me, or will she throw it away? She just stands there next to that prison tie down table Will today be the day? Will today be the day? Will today be the day?
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She’s just smiling at me, Will she just end my life all ready? Just do it god dammit, end my life.
by Robert S. (NV)
Who am I, Who are you Who am I I am Bryan I am Brittni I am a person Just like you, I have feelings I have dreams, I have a future Who am I I am a friend I am a coworker I am a strong individual Just like you, I bleed I live, I die Just like you, I came from my mother Why then, If we are so alike do I feel the need to hide Why do I fear being known, being the object of public ridicule Who are you you are a person you have feelings, dreams you have a future Who are you you are a friend you are a co-worker you are a strong individual Just like me, you bleed you live, you die Just like me, you came from your mother Why then, if we are so similar do you feel the need to mock Why do you dislike me,
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February 2019
Black & Pink News
Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family always judging and harassing You and I I and You Us We are the same, We are different, We are both human
by Penrose (MS)
We Create the Prison Inside of Us We create the prison inside of us by- holding onto fear and wearing the mask. Be strong and feel the beauty and happiness of life. Do not let life pass you by without coming out being free being yourself without fear and being behind the mask. We are all beautiful the way we are born this way. Your Passion is my Rainbows Your passion is my rainbows you’ve given me. Your love is warm against my heart with flowers growing in bloom of pastel colors flowing through my sky. You’re the light of my life and the stars of the night. You’re the dreams I dream of. The Beauty of the Soul:
The beauty of the soul Is like the rising sun In mornings horizons glow Painted in soft pastels in The intellect shades and light with life’s blooming flow
The artist’s canvas of winter’s white.
Being Comfortable in Our Transgender Skins:
Forever you, stand next to me; You’re all that I want, All that I need.
Being comfortable in our transgender skins Coming out living the purpose of life; All we can of who we are in Life without fear to be. Fear closes doors within. Our beauty shines to be free With open hearts and passion.
You see my potential, See what I’m worth; Why I was put here, Here on this earth. You told me to search, Told me to pray; You push me through life, Day by day by day.
Building Walls to Block Pain We Carry Inside: Building wall to block pain we carry inside. In fear we don’t Want to face what we hide. Like a hidden season It comes back To haunt us inside But - with friends Black and Pink In strength and family we will survive. Fire and Ice Fire and Ice Winters shimmering sunlight warm and bright Stretching across soft white. In it’s cool fresh breath Of nature’s soul: quiet and cold. Beauty spotted in red and blue, Singing on branches of the wakening morning. In fire and ice against
by Jeff M. (MO)
You support me, You hold me up; When I fall down, You pick me up. Now I’m becoming, I’m starting to see, The very person, I was meant to be.
by Morgan D. (CA)
THE RACE Here I am again Trapped in time and space Writing these letters It’s like a race... I’m out in front Got a good start Running full speed Pumping my heart... The challenge is beautiful I feel the heat from the sun
Volume 10, Issue 1
I think about everything That’s already been done... I keep running To reach the finish line And I keep thinking I am running out of time... I got in this race To stretch my limbs Too also nurture All my whims... To feel the fire A livid flame To hear my mind Repeat your name... I’m running out of fuel But refuse to quit I am a fighter I can lick this! This race doesn’t seem to end I am still in the lead I open up my heart And drop my seed... While I’m running I’m under a spell I feel so confident I am doing well... Now I push myself... Coming around the final lap I hear my feet on the ground Up and down the slap... And I give it my all Not just some Can you feel me The race I’ve won?
by Horace T. SVSP (CA)
Song To Sing There is something about this building
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its a feeling deep inside of me let me try to explain it please it’s a sense of security with so much love care and affection that it just overwhelms me but one day there will come a time when I get well and have to leave this building behind what a joyous day that will be I will spend the whole day telling all my friends about this place I am going to tell them about this building Kedren Compton Board and Care Transitional Facility Song to Sing I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love it’s time that I realize that smoking cocaine aint no life for me and who am I to deny that I like to get high sometimes I was running up and down the block trying to buy a rock I would follow dope dealers anywhere they were just to get some more of their dope I had a blazin disregard and I broke my mother’s heart and my washed out dreams I would follow crack heads on the road you know because we got no where to go
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south? What if I mess you up? You say what if I break out in two then what? What if I was made for you and you for me what if this is it? What if I ain’t just one of them fool’s just playing some game’s? What I pull you close? What if I learn in and the star’s line up and it’s our first last kiss? What if the sky fal’s or the sun stop’s burning? We can worry about them what if’s till hte world stop’s turning or I could kiss you? What if you liked it? Well we ain’t ever going to know unless we try it? What if one of these day’s Baby I go change your name? What if I love these what if’s away? What I loved all these what if’s away? (what if)
by John C. (LA)
What If’s you say what if I hurt you? what if I leave you? what if I find somebody else and don’t need you? What if this goes
artwork courtesy of Shaun Slifer via justseeds.org
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Black & Pink News
Untitled
Because we are brothers and sisters no matter who we are: black, white, Asian, Jamaican, and Haitian. We all need to come together and help each other by lending a hand, cause I know I will. What about you? Just think about it and holla back at me. Because I am here to listen, help, support whatever your heart have to say Cause I am your good friend that could be your bestest friend.
by Jean O. (PA)
Keep it G Everday a G keep it real Every time a problem is gettin Out of hands Keep it G Neva Blowin out of pression Keep it G Always tryin Gettin Respectfully And neva trust no sucka Always man keep it G Suck a free is he way 2 be Keep it G Your Infamous Tha Genius P.S. 33 years old I’m still feel like life is worth fightin 4. Seeeevens by Tony AKA The Infamous (CA) untitled When you hug me I am always… surrounded by your gentleness, your compassion toward me and your unconditional love, which is
deeper than anything You don’t ask for anything. You just simply love me in this moment. You are expressing this gentle love. This makes me soft. This gives me courage. This helps me. Because I met you, I was able to know true love. When my heart was shattered to pieces… When I could tell no one else of my experiences and I didn’t know what to do… When no one could understand and I felt all alone… You gave me the courage. The courage to confront this part of myself… As human beings, we have many experiences, many feelings… we face who we are… you gave me the courage to stand and face life, to stand and face myself, to open my heart again, even though there is deep hurt. Just hearing your voice. I experience a love that reverberates into the depth of my soul. And my entire being is shaken to its core.
by Gonzalo P. (AZ0
How Long For they know not what they do/All day long/ Just like I know that our ignorance/ covers their wrongs Brainwashing us with drugs and songs/ will they catch on.../ How long/ I try to tell ‘em, but/they don’t listen/ So I continue on the enlightenment sharing mission/ Willing to reach the willing/Trying to expose who’s manipulating the killings./ will they catch on.../ How long/ Convictions that have tooken away
Volume 10, Issue 1
my credibility/ So why should they listen to me/I aint rich or free/ They wonna learn how to die/ suicide competitions/ what a shame!/The Harlots are running the game/man man man!/ will they catch on.../ How long/
by Lois Lane
Growin Pain Times life is hard sometimes, hell, all the time we go through the mess every time growin pain times I see my love ones strugglin and cryin outta of there minds but god pick up the your attentions instantly so don’t cry don’t worries just keep it up to g.o.d, 7777, gbg, gay boy gangstez 4 life
blackandpink.org
Overcome My Feelings How can I overcome this feeling of darkness? In which is like a black hole, swallowing whole. Consuming the good and the lightness. How can I dispel the feeling of mistrust? When the ones you love and give your all to, stabs you in the heart, crippling you, disabling you, draining you of the love and genuine care...now who can you trust? How can I disintegrate this feeling
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of hate? When all it takes is one seed to be planted, that seed is when loyalty breaks. How can I expel the feeling of despair? When my hopes , all were sold dreams and as I awake to reality they all vanished in thin air. How can I push away this feeling of fuck you, the world and everything in it? I’m losing myself of good reasoning, but fuck it. Life’s a bitch, maybe one day I can overcome my feelings.
by Sincere (IL)
by Infamous Tina G (CA)
The Loss of Time People think that losing time is punishment. Prison is a thing we associate with losing time. However, time lost is not the loss. The loss is the distance from all that I love. Distance from family hurts the most, it is enough to purge me of my transgressional behavior. Just the thought that time stops for no one yet for those incarcerated, time freezes, is an intensely sobering thought is it not?
by Lil Grymm (AZ)
artwork courtesy of Roger Peet via justseeds.org
I am who I am. A man, A God, and A King of my own image and in my own being, who think and live like a man, a God and a King But I’m a soldier and a warrior that was created by a man and His name is the Almighty God. He did not create me to become a bi-sexual, and a transgender. He did not create me to judge any of ya’ll no matter who you are But he did create me to forgive ya’ll for what ya’ll doing. He create me to become somebody that I wanna be?? He create me to teach and preach His words. He create me to touch those that needed to be healed. He create me to show His peoples how great He is that God is real, that His love is unconditional, that His heaven is real. And He did create me to love my brothers and sisters no matter who they are. I know its hard to become ?? who you wanna be ?? I know it’s hard to live and look back without someone saying wrong words and judging you. I know it’s hard to love each other without trust. Because people like ourselves afraid to accept and let go and let God. That why we all need to join forces, no matter what. We all need to come up with a plan, A plan to love one another. So we need to open our arms and help each other by welcoming each other in our arms no matter if we are a complete stranger to each other
February 2019
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Black & Pink News
Buscando Contribuciones
Call for Submissions
¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!
Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.
Estamos buscando contribuciones en español para nuestras secciones de Cartas a Nuestra Familia y Poesía del Corazón. Por favor envía tu contribución escrita en forma legible y de no más de tres páginas a: Black & Pink — ESPAÑOL Damos la bienvenida a cualquier escrito de tu creación, pero dado el espacio y la variedad, no todas las contribuciones pueden ser aceptadas. Al enviar tu contribución, das permiso a Black & Pink para publicar tus escritos en forma impresa y en internet.
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If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it! Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues. Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing! Email us: members@blackandpink.org
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artwork courtesy of Jesus Barrara via justseeds.org
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