Slashers | Feature | Charged

Page 1

avoiding mr. machete

avoiding mr. machete

In preparation of the new Friday The 13th movie it might be a good time to see how you would fair if a madman wielding a garden tool comes after you... Just answer the questions and tally your score... The lights go off. Do you... 1. Arm yourself and hide in a closet. 2. Leave the house and go next door. 3. Light a candle and say you’ll check the box in the basement. 4. Decide to have a shower. 5. Stab someone. Your friend is having terrible nightmares. 1. You stock up on energy drinks. 2. You move to a different street. 3. You arrange a sleep-over. 4. You invest in nunchucks. 5. You practice scraping your knifeglove against metal stuff. You are the... 1. Virgin. 2. Virgin’s love interest. 3. Cop. 4. Cocky, annoying, completely selfinvolved jerk of a football player. 5. Big guy in a mask. The phone rings. You... 1. Don’t answer. 2. Start making popcorn. 3. Flirt with the caller. 4. Tell the caller you have a boyfriend. 5. Hit redial when they put the phone down. You start hearing... 1. Calming music. 2. Other people having fun. 3. You having fun. 4. High-pitched violin sounds. 5. Voices...

34

mar 2009

Your occupation is... 1. Babysitter. 2. Babysitter’s friend. 3. Babysitter’s friend’s boyfriend. 4. Janitor at the insane asylum. 5. Creative Homicide. A guy with a moustache greets you. His name is 1. Magnum P.I. 2. Steve Christy. 3. Bob Carter. 4. Tom Savini. 5. Going to look good on a tombstone. You meet someone who is afraid to Sleep. So you... 1. Feel concerned. 2. Think they’re weird. 3. Slip them some sleeping pills. 4. Are the one not sleeping. 5. Wait for them to fall asleep so you can invade their dreams. The house party is running low on booze. You... 1. Don’t drink. 2. Offer to go get some more at the shop. 3. Remember there is still some in the spare fridge downstairs. 4. Are passed out in a field. 5. Prefer liquid red and spilled.

4. Join forces with the local mutant hillbilly to find them in the caves. 5. Are sitting on the porch. a big party happens to fall on... 1. No specific day. 2. A birthday. 3. Valentine’s Day. 4. Prom Night. 5. The anniversary of when you, aged three, killed your family. You would define your camera time as follows... 1. Plenty of innocent-looking bits. 2. The third guy at the back. 3. Wandering aimlessly through the woods. 4. Swimming, then wandering through the woods. 5. In first person. Everyone’s going camping... 1. You have had a past encounter with a crazed killer.

2. Your relative has had a past encounter with a crazed killer. 3. You heard about a murder spree that took place at the camp site. 4. You are determined to score with your date. 5. You sharpen your hunting knife. You prefer to... 1. Not break the rules. 2. Follow the crowd. 3. Break the rules. 4. Tease the non-rule breakers. 5. Carry garden shears. While on a road trip, you see a hitchhiker. You... 1. Accelerate. 2. Offer to tell someone at the next stop to pick them up. 3. Give them a lift. 4. Give them a lift and offer to drop them at that abandoned farm they want to go to. 5. Are the hitchhiker.

Some of your friends explore a nearby farmhouse. You... 1. Find new friends. 2. Wait for them in the car. 3. Go looking for them.

mar 2009

35


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.