UNDERGROUND Something I greatly overvalue in order to escape from my low self-esteem in order to be able to tell myself I am superiour to every form of life
Image Megz Noel
THE TEAM
___________________________ EMILY EATON EDITOR Emily@blairemagazine.com SARAH LONG CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sarah@blairemagazine.com MONICA JANKOWSKI MUSIC DIRECTOR Monica@blairemagazine.com ALECZANDER GAMBOA SUBEDITOR MEGZ NOEL LAYOUT / DESIGN
ENQUIRIES / SUBMISSION _________________________ Sarah@blairemagazine.com
ABN: 62359130068 www.blairemagazine.com
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTION
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MONICA JANKOWSKI LIFE ABBEY BRANDENBURG LIFE BONNIE ARBITTIER PHOTOGRAPHY YEN LI WONG LIFE TORY PRICE FASHION INTERVIEW MIA BEVERLEY FRANCISCO LIFE CHRIS AUSTIN ARTIST BRADLEY COWAN MUSIC REVIEWS KRISTEN MCPEEK PHOTOGRAPHY SARAH LONG CHEEKY CHAPTER STEVE RENO ARTIST
Image Megz Noel
COntents THE PORNO DEBATE P008 BONNIE ARBITTIER PHOTOS P014 THE HIDDEN COSTS OF CHOCOLATE P030
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HV X FRANCIS CANON P036 FOOD OR FAST? P046 CHRIS AUSTIN P052 MUSIC REVIEWS P062 TREEFORT FESTIVAL P064 DON’T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT P074 STEVE RENO P080
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The Porno Debate The FBI is currently releasing illegal child pornography to catch offenders. Should they go to jail? Words Monica Jankowski & Abbey Brandenburg Images Megz Noel & Juha Helttunen
In recent times, the Internet has given the human race a world of magic to explore. It has also unfortunately, given criminals an easier way to break the law. Lawbreakers are getting more and more crafty with the way that they conduct their crimes and are getting away with more and more. Understandably, the law enforcers also have to adapt and come up with creative ways to catch these people out. One particular example of that, is the fight against child pornography. The FBI is currently releasing child pornography to catch offenders. Should they themselves go to jail?
Abbey: This is a really interesting topic and one that has my head constantly questioning – should they or shouldn’t they? I do feel that this is one of those topics that I could argue either way BUT for the sake of this particular argument I am going to say that no, the FBI shouldn’t go to jail for releasing illegal child pornography. The FBI is releasing this material in order to catch offenders – people who knowingly access this type of content on the Internet. People who, undoubtedly, are more of a risk to the community than the FBI. Monica: Fair point! But how is spreading the pornography around
the right way to do so? I feel as though it only encourages and adds to the already numerous amounts of it out in the world. For every one depraved loser they catch, there’s a bunch more who just got some more material to play with. Doesn’t adding to the problem just make it worse? Abbey: I don’t know if ‘spreading the pornography around’ is what the FBI is doing? From the research I have done it is all very controlled – they are only releasing it to certain websites – for example websites that the FBI have investigated and which known offenders or large numbers of people access. 008 Blaire Magazine
In one article I read, the FBI had actually set up its own website ‘Playpen’ in order to catch offenders. I agree that it does seem a little off to add to the ridiculous amounts of pornography that are readily available, however I think in this circumstance it is for better not worse. I would assume that there is a ‘club’ or ‘group’ of people who access this type of pornography, and once people start getting caught or exposed, word would spread. Monica: The Police are adding to the multitude of images and content that is readily available to these people. Yes they might catch a couple of these guys (and women – I’m sure there’s women who have these sick fantasies too) in the process, but for all those that they don’t, they’ve added to the problem and aided someone with getting off. I just don’t know if this is the most effective way to eradicate the issue? Playpen was actually a child pornography site that was one of the worst in existence. In a Police raid, cops found the server for the site and rather than destroy it, they used the server to take down approximately 1,500 child predators. This process was successful and worked well. They didn’t need to put more content out into the digital sphere to get the outcome they were after. They used what was already out there to catch the bad guy. Without being a bad guy. This is my problem with it – the police do not need to be a part of it all to catch the predators. Couldn’t they just have a process of regular check-ins with known pedophiles and if caught with child paraphernalia, send them back to jail?
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Abbey: I suppose that the FBI is using this sort of strategy, as previous ones have not worked before. I do agree that it does seem odd to add more content but perhaps other avenues have not worked and this was an experiment that the FBI wanted to try in order to see if it could be a successful way to catch offenders? Thanks for clarifying that information about Playpen – what the FBI did with that was awesome as they were able to catch so many offenders. It seems, from the research we have both done and the discussion we are having, that it is more about the FBI accessing these type of websites as opposed to actually contributing new content (images/ videos etc.). Interestingly, with the Playpen website, the FBI were given permission to leave the website up and running, as opposed to immediately shutting it down. It would seem logical to shut down this website as soon as possible, however the FBI suggested that if they had chosen to shut it down immediately, it would have prevented them from being able to identify offenders. So I suppose this discussion is really about different strategies that the FBI can draw upon in order to catch offenders and make sure that this type of pornography is so easily accessible. What are your thoughts? Monica: I agree! It’s not trying to catch the offenders, that’s the problem. It’s the tactics that they’re using. It’s like saying that a cop under cover, trying to catch out
some murderers is okay to murder someone to catch the target. It’s not right and it’s not okay. The main objective is to stop child pornography from happening and whilst it’s completely fair for the Police to use the resources they have to end such things, there must be better ways. I’d be more than happy if Police had some stricter control over monitoring the Internet if it meant that we could eradicate the problem quicker. Really, no one who was doing the right thing would have an issue with it. Would they? Abbey: Amen sister! It’s pretty damn obvious that accessing child pornography is a disgusting crime and that the FBI needs to do something to try to catch offenders and shut down websites. I think from our above discussion and debate we’ve come to a pretty similar conclusion – we don’t necessarily think that the FBI should be adding more content, but we do think that the FBI accessing these particular websites – and perhaps keeping them open as opposed to shutting them down – is a good way to catch offenders and ultimately reduce the amount of child pornography that is accessible via the Internet. The main issue is that child pornography is still available on the Internet and, from the research we have done and the findings from the FBI, is accessed by a large amount of people. The FBI has a job to do and, clearly, will look at a number of strategies in order to do so and catch offenders. Hopefully, in the not too distant future, child pornography will no longer exist!
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BONNIE ARBITTIER
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THIS IS OUR LAST ISSUU
Image Kristen McPeek
Issuu.com is no longer our stomping ground. For all future content head to
BlaireMagazine.com
The Hidden Costs of Chocolate Slavery still exists in the 21st century, as much as we would like to turn a blind eye to the fact. Words Yen Li Wong Images Raise the Bar Hershey
Picture this scenario: you are at your local grocery store. To get to the meat aisle, you have to walk past the dazzling array of confectionery all decadently arranged for our benefit. Because let’s face it, those cunning bastards in marketing know how to grab at our imagination and cravings. The things you need to buy (as per that well-written shopping list) float out of your head as you look at the gorgeous little red wrapped Kit Kat sitting on the shelf at 20% off. You deserve a break, you tell yourself. After all, you’ve been working your arse off lately. What’s wrong with a little treat for yourself now and then?
Such a small piece of chocolate-y goodness. As your teeth sink down on those beautifully coated wafers, you thank God (or whichever omnipresent deity you choose or choose not to believe in) for chocolate. Minuscule impact on diet and weight. Maximum impact on satisfaction and taste buds. But what if I told you that each bite of chocolate you take condemns a child to 14 hours (or more) of hard labour a day. Yes, that’s right. Like with everything, there is a hidden cost to that little piece of goodness you take for granted. And it certainly ain’t pretty.
FACT: By consuming chocolate, we are supporting child labour Ever stopped to wonder why the price of chocolate is relatively cheap? Never? Well, maybe it’s time you do. Chocolate does not magically appear on grocery store shelves – it is a painstakingly laborious and dangerous process. The cocoa bean is very far removed from the finished product of chocolates that we snack on. Although cocoa beans can be found in parts of Western Africa, Asia and Latin America, 70% of cocoa exports come from Western Africa, namely Ghana and the Ivory Coast. 030 Blaire Magazine
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Can you imagine your 12 year-old attempting to cut open a cocoa bean with a machete?
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You would think that cocoa farmers are minting money, what with chocolate being such a wanted commodity. Think again. Cocoa farmers make a little less than $2 per day (on average). A typical job description of a cocoa farmer would be: JOB DESCRIPTION – Cocoa Farmer Duties and responsibilities include: • Scale cocoa tree to cut down bean pods • Clear forested area for land use • Pack bean pods and transport pods to designated area • Open pods to extract cocoa beans • Spray crops with chemicals to prevent infestation Skills, abilities and other requirements: • Excellent physical health – bags of bean pods often weigh up to 100 pounds • Ability to use and manipulate dangerous equipment such as machete, chainsaw, chemical spray, etc. • Ability to work 14 hour days (typical workday begins at 6:00 am until late) In order to cut costs even further, children are used to work the cocoa farms. Can you imagine your 12 year-old attempting to cut open a cocoa bean with a machete? Heck, most mothers I know would scream bloody murder if they saw their child holding a knife, much less a dangerous weapon that can seriously maim and wound. But there you have it, halfway around the world, there is a child risking his or her life right this minute – just so we can enjoy a bit of chocolate.
FACT: The chocolate industry condones human trafficking Some might argue that this is the way economy works and that the cocoa industry in these poor countries are creating jobs for the locals. Yes, some children do seek jobs at these farms in order to earn money for their impoverished families. However, these children are still entitled to reasonable working conditions, fair wages as well as opportunities for education. The children at these farms are definitely not getting any of the above. They are considered lucky if they are rewarded for their labour. (And if you think about it, it’s sad when $2 for a full day’s work is considered above the norm). Then, there are children who are lured into employment or sold to farms with the promise of good pay. Worse are those abducted from neighbouring countries – such as Burkina Faso and Mali – with the sole purpose of working on these farms. Imagine being wrenched away from family and forced to work without pay? Yes, slavery still exists in the 21st century, as much as we would like to turn a blind eye to the fact. All this then begs the question: what is the chocolate industry doing about this? In 2001, the chocolate industry via the Engel-Harkin Protocol promised to step in and eradicate child poverty by 2005. This date was further pushed back to 2008 and when that year rolled in, industry bigwigs signed a new treaty (‘The Declaration of Joint Action to Support Implementation of the Harkin-Engel Protocol’). Don’t know about you but this seems like bullshit to me. If these multimillionaires were as serious about eradicating child labour and slavery in their industry as they
were about increasing their profit margin, they would have made a significant stance towards this cause. In case you’re wondering, these are the main players in the chocolate industry: Hershey, Mars, Nestle, ADM Cocoa, Godiva, Fowler’s Chocolate, Ferrero and Mondelez (formerly Kraft). Go take a quick peek at your pantry and/or fridge. If any of these brands are in there, you’ve just unwittingly contributed to child labour. Let’s take a look at what some of them have (or are purported to have done) so far: Hershey • Launched a 5-year program worth $4 million to train West African farmers on best practices in farming and labour. • Plans to produce 100% certified cocoa by 2020. Godiva • 100% sustainable sourcing of cocoa supply by 2020. Nestle • Cocoa Plan – help farmers run sustainable farms, aid in improving social conditions and boost long term production of sustainable cocoa Ferrero • Pledged to eradicate forced labour in cocoa plantations Mondelez • Involved in Cocoa Partnership Scheme to improve farming practices in the industry
FACT: Children love their sweets But my child loves chocolates, you wail, and how else on earth am I able to reward them when they’ve been good? Do you sense the irony here? In another time and place, your child might be the one beaten and prodded to work the fields. In this modern age, why should children still have to be exploited because of the greedy antics of fucking rich businessmen and pig-ignorant consumers who prefer to turn a blind eye towards these practices? I leave that to your conscience to determine. Perhaps the next time your child throws a tanty, thank God that they are safe in your arms rather than cutting cocoa beans open with a machete. And instead of a chocolate bar, try calming them down with something else. I think that we’ve come too far as a human race to not want to do something about these social injustices that come to our attention. You can choose to do something about these causes. Maybe not as big as the lawsuit three Californian residents have filed against Hershey, Mars and Nestle for ‘deceiving consumers into unwittingly supporting the child slave-labour trade’. Perhaps the words of one former child labourer sums the issue up the best: ‘They (consumers of chocolate) enjoy something I suffered to make; I worked hard for them but saw no benefit. They are eating my flesh.’
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HV x Francis Canon
Supporting women through creativity
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Frances - top Harriet Doran
Amy - jumpsuit Ka-he
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accept yourself and don’t give a fuck about what other people say
’ Interview & Styling Tory Price Jewellery Holly Ryan of HV and Frances Cannon Images Cassandra Tzortzoglou HMUA Anita Zuscak Models Frances Cannon, Amy Gilliland & Pearly Kelly
How did you two connect? We met over Instagram! Truly a 21st Century friendship/business partnership! Describe what it has been like working together creatively? It was super easy because we both have similar interests and ideas! The only hard part was that we live quite far from each other so we had to do all correspondence through text message and had to mail everything by post.
Would you say you are friends, business partners or both? We started out as business partners but are becoming friends. What do you feel is the most important thing you have learned from each other? Holly is a very organised in her business planning, which is something I aspire to be better at. Frances – is this a fascination that came about through your art or have you always been
interested in the female form? I’ve always been interested in the female form but only in the last 2-3 years did I truly start drawing it and focussing it in my art practice. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving drawing and learning about the female body – it’s just so beautiful! Frances – how did you go from artist to jewellery designer? I LOVE jewellery so I’ve always wanted to have a go at designing my own! Working with Holly was a great way to start on this journey! 038 Blaire Magazine
Who has inspired you to be loud and proud about your feminine power?
How has your own self-love evolved? What helped you forget about societal pressures?
Artists like Louise Bourgeois, Marlene Dumas and others forged the way for feminist, powerful, women artists.
I still feel societal pressures to look or act a certain way, but as I’m getting older and I more clearly understand myself and what I want, I am able to ignore unwanted pressures.
Most girls would lie about the following questions for fear of being judged: Brazilian or full bush? Vibrator or masturbation? Why do you think we are so disconnected with our sexuality and femininity? The media and the patriarchy for SO LONG have told women that we are worth less than men. We are told that if we have a sexuality we are whores/sluts/sinners. Female sexuality has had a negative connotation for centuries! What do you think needs to happen for women to embrace their own individual sensual side and express it? Women just need to stop being afraid of what people think! Just be yourself and accept yourself and don’t give a fuck about what other people say. When people realise that we are all individuals and we are all human, then perhaps society will start being more accepting. Considering that half the population has a vagina and many more appreciate the vagina for sex, what do you think is holding women back from being open about body love? I think that society has told both women and men that the vagina is for men’s gratification only. This is so wrong.
Even the word vagina is taboo, let alone the actual thing, how do you see yourselves changing that? Just keep talking about it! Talking about the positives, negatives, and mundane stuff about everyday human life and I think the taboo will eventually wear off. Were you nervous about how the HV x Frances Cannon collaboration would be received? Not really, I was pretty confident that people would love our collaboration! And I think they have! Do boys buy your stuff? Not as frequently as women, but yes definitely! I think there are men who appreciate my artwork and want to support women and women artists too. I love them just as much. Are you going to make penis jewellery so that people can have matching his and hers? Haha, probably not.
Pearly - slip dress Oats, halter top Harriet Doran
Amy - top Jillian Boustred, skirt Blushed by Teagan Jacobs. Pearly - top Blushed by Teagan Jacobs, shorts Jillian Boustred. Frances - top Harriet Doran, skirt own. Pearly - shorts Jillian Boustred
Amy - top Campbell Charlotte, skirt Blushed by Teagan Jacobs
Pearly - skirt worn as top Oats, top worn as skirt Ka-he
francescannon.bigcartel.com instagram @frances_cannon
FOOD OR FAST? Three meals a day, plus snacks, has always been the normal way to eat and stay healthy. Starving yourself is for people with problems right? Wrong. Welcome to the world of fasting. Words Mia Beverley Francisco Images Megz Noel
My relationship with food is one of trust, loyalty, commitment, and nothing but good times. Food to me is like the ideal boyfriend; delicious, abundant, and always there for me no matter what. Food is my friend. Actually, one of my best friends. Fasting on the other hand hurts. It is not my best friend. In fact, we were never friends. We don’t hang out; at all. In my experience, fasting is a two-faced weirdo who promises you a happy ending. Basically a onenight stand gone wrong. My little pros and cons of food, glorious food, against my foe, fasting, will give you a better understanding…
FOOD
FASTING
PROS • Does not hurt your soul • Tastes amazing • Quietens hunger pains (embarrassing gurgling) • At times, better than sex
PROS • Hurts your soul • Has no taste • Encourages hunger pains • You cannot make love due to lying on your back moaning through the pain of missing out on your loyal, mouthwatering breakfast
CONS • Can be expensive • If taken advantage of, can cause one to put on weight • Can stain expensive white dresses • Can be addictive
CONS • Hurts your stomach • Hurts your head • Hurts your way of thinking • Hurts your heart 046 Blaire Magazine
‘ Calorie
restriction extends life span
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But once again, science is telling me to shush and pay attention to their latest discovery: fasting can actually be good for you* in soooo many ways. According to Mark Mutton, Chief of the Laboratory of Neuroscience at the National Institute on Aging, and a professor of Neuroscience at The Johns Hopkins University, (Mark has quite a few more impressive titles, but I’m running out of words), fasting twice a week could lower the risk of developing both Aalzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s. What is also interesting is that Mutton, and many others, believe that ‘Big Pharmas’ basically “own” the medical profession. Dr. Marcia Angell, former Editor-in-Chief of The New England Journal of Medicine, says that the ‘pharmaceutical industry likes to depict itself as a research-based industry, a source of innovative drugs.’ She says that this is not true at all. Furthermore, Mutton has said during a TED talk that perhaps one of the reasons we have all been led to believe that the “normal” diet is three meals a day, plus snacks, is because there is money involved. He claims there is a lot of pressure to uphold that kind of healthy eating pattern. Mutton believes fasting does not make money for the food industry – and they know it. Fasting
makes you healthy, maybe even healthier than those who do not fast (it is a BIG debate), but Mutton declares that Big Pharmas are not going to make any money off people who ‘do some intermittent fasting, exercise periodically and are very healthy.’ Makes you wonder hey? And, get this, epileptic children who suffer from seizures have fewer episodes when their diet has less calories, or they actually fast. Mutton and another researcher reported in the January issue of Nature Reviews Neuroscience that, ‘Fasting kick-starts protective measures that help counteract the overexcited signals that epileptic brains often exhibit.’ They also say, ‘calorie restriction extends life span.’ It seems that I have been missing out on something for all these years. EVERYone appears to be telling me how great and life-changing fasting is. A random person I stumbled across in the world of the Internet says that they once knew a woman who fasted once a week and lived to the age of 102. Hmm. A health blogger named Jonathan J. Ohana claims that abstaining from eating food is ‘miraculous,’ and has even narrowed down his hundreds of fabulous reasons of why everyone should fast to just 5… here they are: 1) Fasting awakens the mind and soul
2) Stay youthful by eating healthfully 3) Train yourself to eat only when you have genuine hunger 4) Cleanse your joints of acid crystals (sounds painful) 5) Relieve the body from solid obstructions You can read these in more detail at BLOGS.NaturalNews.com. If you feel like you just sat in on a science lecture, then you are not alone. Science is a pretty nifty character that seems to continuously force us to rethink our initial beliefs and views of the world around us. There is definitely a substantial amount of evidence to support Mutton and everyone else who believes fasting is a superb way to be healthy, and even live longer. The argument about certain industries losing money and telling us misinformation so they stay financially stable definitely appears to be valid; which is a tad scary. But then there are personal opinions, and lived experiences. Some people screw up their faces at the word fasting, others shrug their shoulders as they reach for their second jam donut, and then there are people like me. I need, I repeat, need at least 3 meals a day
plus in-between meals, and snacks in between the in-between meals. I once attempted to do the 40-hour famine. I had never known agony and despair quite like I did during that horrible experience – which is absolutely NOTHING in comparison to the starving people in Third World countries whom I was raising money and awareness for. So, at the end of the day, I believe doing what works for you is best. As long as you remain healthy and happy, fasting or not fasting should just be a personal choice that enhances your lifestyle. If you do choose to fast, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons – many people suffering from eating disorders use this form of not eating as a way to further skip meals. And then if you enjoy food and love to eat, make sure you are doing it all with a bit of exercise on the side. Either way, do what your gut tells you. *I need food in my daily diet. I need food as a reliable source of energy. I need food, period. So, if you are like me and food helps you live and function and be the best you that you can be, keep fasting to a bare minimum… like once every 35 years. Then you will be fine. Just fine.
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CHRIS AUSTIN FEATURED ARTIST Interview Sarah Long
Chris Austin is a visual artist currently living and working in Toronto, Canada. He creates intricate patterns, textures and line-work in his artwork, mainly focusing on bears as his subject matter. Called ‘little bear’ as a child, it only seemed suiting to incorporate them into his body of work. There are different species of bears found around the globe, and they are highly respected in many cultures and are often considered to be protective ancestral spirits. Each of his bear paintings is created with the intent of being a protector, for himself and the viewer of his work.
What is underground? Underground to me is something that exists outside the realm of mainstream society or culture.
and moments captured in time just before something intense happens, or in some cases, may have already happened.
How can you depict commercialism in current times? For me I see that the world is consumed by commercialism. Everyone for the most part has this obsession with ‘Keeping Up With the Jones’ mentality, that they need or must have an item that their friend or someone they know has. I believe it partially has to do with plastered advertisement, that we cannot seem to get away from.
Through your eyes we see… That culture is catching up to the idea that things might not be so great in the not too distant future.
What do you think your artwork represents? My work represents fragments
What worldly adventures will you experience through your passion of painting? Hard to say where my work will take me, although I hope someday my work and it’s message will reach a global scale, inspiring change for the better.
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Image Vespa
Underground cause FUCK MAINSTREAM...
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MUSIC REVIEW Words Bradley Cowan
School of Seven Bells SVIIB fter a four-year break, New York City indie-band School of Seven Bells have released the newest edition of their musical collection, SVIIB. From beginning to end this album is packed with an ocean of synthesizers lapping over layers of vocals and other dream-like sounds. Lead singer, Alejandra Deheza sings every note with a sort of sad yet powerful passion. It wasn’t until after listening that I discovered each track was written with her ex band-mate Benjamin Curtis, who sadly passed away at the end of 2013. ‘Confusion’ is particularly eerie, a hazy mixture of electronic sounds and Deheza’s wailing vocals. This song was the last ever written by Curtis who put pen to paper when on a break from hospital. The album took over three years to make, which is evident in the perfected sounds on each track. Deheza must have been under some huge pressure to make it flawless and it’s safe to say that she hasn’t disappointed.
Santigold 99c Santigold is flawless. Her voice, her style, her music, her unique sense of creativity. She has showcased every aspect of her inner perfection to deliver this third album 99c. Although this release holds the distinct sound of Santigold, she gives us something unique instead of relying on the tunes from her past albums. 99c is an amalgamation of future-pop, reggae and rap, with messages poking fun at narcissistic millennials. ‘Can’t Get Enough Of Myself,’ the first single to drop has recently been joined by an app which allows viewers to feature in various scenes of the clip adding an extra element of fun to a foot-tapping hit. ‘Chasing Shadows’ another pleasure to the ears, has the catchiest damn chorus of the year (but don’t even try to sing along to the verses, there’s no chance you’ll be able to keep up). The only bad thing about this release is the fact we will probably be waiting another three years for the next one.
Diiv Is The Is Are DIIV’s second release Is the Is Are, was conceived in rehab. After being caught with a shitload of heroin, DIIV lead singer Zachary Cole Smith was given a harsh slap on the wrist and shipped off to rehab. Who could think of a better place to get inspired? The album is typically grungy and obviously pretty depressing due to its sobering inspiration. Single, ‘The Sun,’ is everything you would expect from DIIV if you are familiar with their previous work. Heavy bass guitar and over-slurred, unrecognizable lyrics. Even catchier notes are hit in a second single ‘Dopamine.’ But apart from that there’s not really much about this release that would make you want to hit the repeat button. Although this is a rather mediocre album from this hipster, Brooklyn-based band, there is one reason to look them up. That (ex) junkie Zachary Cole Smith sure is a babe!
Foxes All I Need Brit babe, Louisa Rose Allen, better known as Foxes’, second release All I Need is an alt-dance styled gaybar friendly album. It’s mixture of clapping hands, high tempo beats and shrill vocals, which, let’s face it are not the ingredients to please everyone. ‘Better Love’ with its surprising backing choir of deep ballsy men is one of the better tracks from the album. It will definitely get your fists pumping. ‘Amazing,’ the most recent release seems to have a confused demographic, perhaps it could fill the void that Miley Cyrus left when she transformed from Hanna Montana into what ever the fuck she is now. There’s just a little bit too much bubblegum-pop for any respectful adult to publicly admit to being a fan of. If you love pop and give zero fucks about what people think of your taste in music then this could be a release for you to get sweaty to… judges. 062 Blaire Magazine
Treefort Festival Downtown Boise, ID by Kristen McPeek
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Don' t Shit Where You Eat Sex with the housemate Words Sarah Long
As the ol’ adage goes, ‘you don’t shit where you sleep’. In other words, don’t make life fucking challenging for yourself. We’re already thrown huge curve balls leaving us questioning ‘what is the meaning of life?’ So why do many of us go and royally screw it up for ourselves by separating our bum cracks to rub poo particles all over our bedsheets? The question lies unanswered for many. Some don’t even need the new sheets, they’re happy to continue using them. While many scrummage around looking for new sheets, so they can have a fresh, new organzy start. Not sure what I’m talking about? Don’t worry I’ll fill you in... It had been a few weeks since I
had been acquainted with my new housemate. He was pretty damn rad. We enjoyed many similar things and the banter was pretty much on point. I hated his long, stinky hair and the times where he pretended to be Snoop Dogg’s best mate, but otherwise he and I were like red wine and cocaine; the best kind of situation. He had become my new gay best mate (minus the gay part) but that was okay, ‘cause he was boning anything else that would move. So I was in the mate/safe zone, or so I thought. A month into our friendship, his ‘boning’ of other chicky babes began to fizzle out. I had started to wonder if he had shrimp dick or an STI, because I hadn’t seen a female organ step foot into his dungeon of dick
for quite some time. I didn’t say anything though. The last thing I wanted was him to start marinating on was the thought of my vagina playing with his dick dungeon, so I left that chapter well and truly closed. One very warm evening, my housemate, Wade, was outside on our porch getting comfortable with a bottle of red wine. He was alone. I asked if he was interested in having myself join his little party of two. He propped himself up in half attempt to look sober. He wanted his response to be at least be half validated by the red wine lips smeared all over his huge grin. I sat down. He tried to say a bunch of words to me, however all that really 074 Blaire Magazine
made sense was, ‘in an ideal world, you’re perfect to me’ before trying to plant his cigarette-butt mouth all over my lips. I pushed him off, suggested that it was time for bed and I went to sleep. I didn’t hear from him for the next day or two, or see him come out of dick dungeon. All I really knew was that he admitted his liking for me and that I was his next victim. I was confused. Half of me felt an enormous amount of sexual energy pulsing towards his groin area and the other half kept reminding me that he was totally not the type of guy that I should be with.
onto my bed and started grinding my body, while kissing my neck. He walked out minutes later and I finished myself off through my leggings, before he walked back in. It was heated. Yet, I still couldn’t make up my mind. He was my housemate for fuck’s sake. If I boned the shit out of his penis, then I would have had to keep fucking him, knowing that we were either going to fall into a relationship, or we were going to eventually stop and shit was going to get super awks. I needed a sign, to bone or not to bone.
Weeks passed. The dynamics had shifted. He wanted my heart, I wanted his dick. Whenever we were near, we could feel the energy pulling us together. We grinded up against each other as he had me up on the kitchen table. We never kissed. Just rubbed our bodies so hard that I could feel his dick up against my leg. We both wanted it, but I refrained. I knew that if we started having sex then I would have to decide whether he was the guy that I wanted to be with. Each morning he would sneak into my room, get into my bed, slide his underpants off and grind me until I woke up. I reciprocated. It was the heat of summer, which turned me on even more. As sweat dripped between the two of us, we both knew exactly what we wanted. He’d jump on top of me as I ran my hands through the back of his hair, pulling. He lifted my bum cheeks into his big, bare hands and squeezed them tight, bringing my vagina into his penis. We never fucked, just toyed with the idea. Some days he would leave me so heated up in the situation that I had to pull my vibrator out and finish myself off. I came home from my run in my tight leggings one day. He followed me into my room, threw me down
It was another hot day in Byron Bay and I had just finished having a shower. I was in my room, prancing around naked, picking clothes up from my floor. Wade was outside picking dog turds off the lawn. He had just taken off his top and headed for the shed. Moments later, he pulled the lawn mower out of the shed and began doing the lawns. Let’s paint a sweaty, porno, bits-pulsing picture for you. Hot dude, mint rig, sweating, pushing a heavy beast around the garden. Yep. Hot. While I was in complete admiration of the situation at hand, I had just slipped on the sexiest white, lace g-string on. In my mind, it was in hope that it would gravitate his manly senses towards my private bits. Does that shit even work? I didn’t care. It was a moist situation. He disappeared. Not long after I could hear the creaks of the stairs getting closer. Butterflies began knocking on my stomach’s door. If he turned right, it was straight for my room. Left, for the bathroom. I couldn’t hear the bathroom door open. Standing there in my g-string, I knew he was about to walk in. I needed to pretend to be doing something half pre-occupied. I picked up my hairbrush, only
realising that my hair was up in a ponytail. Fuck too late. He barges in, topless and sweaty, while I’m standing there in front of the mirror pretending to brush my tied up hair. ‘What are you doing?’ He said. ‘Nothing,’ I replied. Removing my awkward hairbrush moment away from the situation. He walked up to me. He embraced my clean, naked body in his sweaty hands and pulled me close to him. ‘I was thinking about you while I was outside. I began wondering what you could be doing by yourself in your room.’ He said, while pressing his steaming chest against my boobs. I wasn’t going to tell him that my vagina had gone to pussy heaven while watching him outside, so I just told him I was brushing my hair (like what the fuck Sarah, clearly you weren’t mate). I could have at least said something sexy. I started getting nervous. It was that moment or sign where I needed to sign, seal and deliver this bloody bad boy. Was I going to sleep with Wade? His dick hardened through his shorts. He whispered down my neck, telling me that he’s been wanting to feel his penis inside of me ever since the day that he admitted he liked me. Now he was talking my language. Let’s get this bit-tingling happening. There wasn’t much of me to undress. He was distracted, kissing my neck and face. I slowly unzipped his shorts. There stood the hardest boner I had ever seen and his underpants still hadn’t made it to the floor. I put my hands inside of his undies and placed them on his dick, his head fell back and he groaned in satisfaction. It was a release that he’d been waiting for, for months. His hands fell onto my boobs and
he aggressively massaged. His underpants fell to the ground. I spat into my hands and started stroking his boner. I had never used two hands before, but it felt right. We dropped to the ground, simultaneously. His sweaty body was now on-top of mine. We were breathing heavily against each other. He smiled and said ‘stay still’. He kissed down the middle of my chest, past my belly button and reached just to the top of my pelvic areas. My hips flexed forward. The blood had rushed to my vagina. He took my g-string into his mouth and slowly guided it down my legs, to my ankles and off my feet. I was completely wet, in awe of his everything and begging for some penis action. He then started his way back up my calves, past my knees and straight towards the lower inner of my thigh. His lips pressed gently against my skin. His soft touch sent goosebumps down my legs. They spread apart, eager for more. Wade knew what he was doing, there was no holding back. His tongue glided up the inner of my thigh. He placed his hands on either side of my vagina, pushed my legs further open and dived straight in there. I moaned. He found my clitoris, began circulating his tongue around it. He kissed again, before gnawing gently on the tip of it and then sucking hard. I let out a scream. I grabbed his head pulled it up and told him to put it in. It was a long time waiting. He was so hard. I lead his penis to my hole and he slowly inserted it. It was pulsing. We both let out a cry from the fucking awesome senses and continued... This heated, sexual amazingness continued for a good six months. We were just best mates having really good fucking sex. It helped
that we lived with each other because everything was on tap. That six-month gap passed and commitment came knocking on my door. Wade wanted to be with me, yet I hadn’t made up my mind. Commitment normally comes easy to me, so the challenge of this new ball game was definitely high. People began asking what we were. I couldn’t just keep calling him my housemate. We decided to tie the commitment knot and get on that dating train. Not a hell of a lot changed. We were still having amazing sex, talking about feelings and bantering all the time. Something just didn’t seem right. I sucked it up and ignored that ol’ ‘gut feeling’ because we had signed a lease to a house, a joint bank account, and had moved into the same bedroom. After all, when the timing was right, I could squeeze my way out of the tangled mess that my brain was in. However sometimes life just doesn’t work as we’d like it to. Wade and I had the re-signing of our house lease lurking around the corner. News to me, it somehow solidified more of a commitment to my life with him than anything else before. I couldn’t sign that 12-month lease. According to Australian statistics, 16% of housemates fall into relationships. Out of the 16%, a 2% succeed in signing to life-long commitment together. Kudos to them. They never have to worry about that awkward stage of when it’s okay to pick your nose, bum or earwax! So, what if you fall into that category of 16%? Well it’s an interesting situation you’ve got at hand. Firstly, you need to clarify whether you actually like the person, or you just like the idea of fucking their
brains out. If it’s the latter, tie your bits up and take them elsewhere. It becomes a complicated, sticky situation. Don’t be selfish. Secondly, once you clarify these feelings, take action. Start flirting the shit out of your victim. You want to make it obvious to them that you’re keen and wouldn’t mind pursuing some warm and fuzzy thoughts with them. Don’t get drunk and tell them how you feel. That’s a school kid error. Thirdly, start to probe at the idea of you two being an item. Be indirect and make subtle comments or ask questions which may lead to the opportunity in their thoughts exploring the idea of you. Watch their body language during this stage. And don’t get creepy. Fourthly, time to suck up the butterflies and make a move. This is the biggest indication of them all. Kiss that cheeky number right on the lips and tell them exactly what is up. And also what is happening down south when you think about them. From these very simple four steps, you’re going to get a response. If it’s positive, then calm your farm and act cool. Let them take the initiative in wanting to catch up with you, so you don’t come across as too keen. If it’s a negative, just give them some space. Keep the dynamics completely normal and just treat it as if it’s something that has happened in the past and now it’s time to move on. As said, don’t shit where you sleep, unless it’s definitely worth every minute of it. Play your cards right. Ciao x 076 Blaire Magazine
AUTHENTIC rAW TRANSPARENT For your future art, politics and culture fix, head to BlaireMagazine.com
Image Kristen McPeek
Steve Reno FEATURED ARTIST
Reno grew up in Melbourne, speaks with a lisp, and claims to have a Master’s Degree in Mechanical Engineering from RMIT. Reno is sexually confused. Within the last 20 years he has displayed a myriad of conflicting and ambiguous sexual identities, which he clings to exclusively for long periods of time. This may have some relation to the Multiple Personality Disorder, which Reno manifested in early childhood. Reno has also revealed racist tendencies. In 2010, ‘Rushall Station’ his cat, was a member of the local Ku Klux Klan, which Reno insisted to his neighbours that he wanted nothing to do with. In grade 6 he was sharply criticised by his teacher for stating: ‘Genetic engineering erases all of God’s
mistakes, like German people.’ In 2014, he suggested that Byron get rid of all hipsters, but the mayor repeatedly declined to do so. In his early life he was widely perceived as a closeted homosexual and was ashamed and afraid to be open about it as a result of this. Reno constantly referred to his cat Rushall Station, which he used as a sort of second more aggressive personality, as well as for emoting his internal conflicts. It was suggested that Rushall Station was a manner through which he could express his repressed gay feelings. Though Reno emphatically denied he was gay and tried to completely keep it a secret, he acknowledged that Rushall had homosexual fantasies. He first announced he was gay in the summer of 2008.
It has been established that Reno has had heterosexual relationships, only with women most of Byron has also had sex with at some point. Possible same sex relationships include Jack Clarke. In his sabbatical, Reno wrote a romance novel that he intended to be purely heterosexual in nature; titled In the Valley of the Cheeses, it contained 6,083 instances of the word ‘penis’. Along with his other works, it sold well until he learned that it won Australia’s Gay Pulitzer Prize and was deemed to be ‘the best work of homoerotic literature since Huckleberry Finn.’ At some point after that, Reno had a nervous breakdown and fled Melbourne to become a hermit in Byron Bay, where he eventually came to terms with his gay tendencies. At this point, he openly embraced his homosexuality. He was hired by Bay 080 Blaire Magazine
Leaf Cafe, as a dishie due to Adam Hill ‘taking a shining to him’. Six months later the relationship between him and Adam fell apart due to resentment coming from Adam because he saw Reno making other men laugh. He was threatened with job termination, this was a move on the owner Dan’s part to avoid any “crumbling away” to which Adam would obviously mutter when Reno was seen chatting with other men. However, when Reno found that he could sue Bay Leaf for substantial compensation if he were discriminated against, he attempted to be so offensive he would be fired. To that end, he abandoned his apron in favor of a human apron, Brent, his personal BDSM slave and hairy lover. He then proceeded to perform several sexually explicit homosexual acts in the kitchen, including putting a caught rat into Brent’s rectum. His plan, however, did not succeed, and he was instead praised for being ‘courageous’. His changing sexual identities are a continual source of problems. Despite having declared himself gay, Reno continued to be ashamed of it as part of his continual emotional and psychological problems. In 2013, Reno transitioned from living as a man to living as a woman and took the identity of Mrs Beckie Reno. He was then rejected by Brent, who no longer found Mrs Reno appealing, as Brent is gay. During this period, Mrs Reno remains attracted to men, just as Mr Reno had been. However, in the summer of 2014, fed up with rejection by men, Reno turns to lesbianism, and begins having relationships with women and drawing penises. Today she lives in Byron and considers herself to be normal while drawing penises is ‘a big part of her life’.
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instagram @stevereno1
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