IMPRESS ME By Sasha Ramtohul-Akbur Dame Alice Owen School, Year 11 This wittily written scene between a school careers advisor and her infuriating student is brilliantly wellobserved. The way in which the insolent Jude steadily undermines Amanda’s authority, to eventually bring her down to her own adolescent level, is well-paced and clever. The way in which all pretence at professionalism has been lost by the end makes for a satisfying arc, and shows yet another young playwright of real promise.
CHARACTER LIST AMANDA mid-30s JUDE 16 Inside a small classroom acting as an office, AMANDA is alone. She wears a blue suit, a string of pearls that seem too old for her, and press-on french nails. She looks at the clock, tutting and drums her fingers on the desk. One of her nails flicks off AMANDA Shit! [searches for the nail, messing up her desk, then glances at the clock] What’s taking her so long, JUDE, wearing a school uniform, bangs the door open, cutting her off. She saunters in leisurely before flopping onto the chair. AMANDA [pasting a smile on her face] Hello, Judith Howard, yes? JUDE [inspecting the room] Sure, ‘Judith’, yeah. AMANDA Well, are you Judith, or not? JUDE [starts rummaging in her bag] Whatever floats your boat really. AMANDA Right, we’d normally have more time, but as you can see, we’ve only 5 minutes until your next lesson. JUDE [pops a piece of gum in her mouth] Shame. AMANDA sighs. JUDE chews loudly AMANDA So, what are you thinking of choosing for A-levels next year? JUDE [Puts on a posh accent] Well, of course I was considering Oxford or Cambridge, yah, so maybe…. sociology, philosophy, and, ooooh maybe I’ll throw in some P.E. for shits and giggles. AMANDA I’d rather you didn’t swear in here, it’s really not appropriate and if you could please try and take this somewhat seriously. But, your subjects, they do seem like quite… a range. Is there one you’d consider pursuing in higher education? JUDE [Leans in and reads AMANDA’s lanyard] Amanda…’Mandy’ is it? Well Mandy don’t worry, I’m not gonna take any of those subjects: I do actually hope to be employed someday. [pause] You look employed. What did you take? AMANDA Just Amanda. [Surveys JUDE] I’d prefer it if you took out your gum please, Judith. And, this session really isn’t about me.
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