A Guinea Pig Pride & Prejudice

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A G U I N E A P IG

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A GU I N E A PIG

A NOV E L I N T H R E E VOLU M E S

A N A D A P T AT I O N O F T H E O R I G I N A L B Y

JA N E AU S T E N

LON D ON B L O O M S B U R Y P U B L I S H I N G , B E D F O R D S Q UA R E . 2 015

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I

t is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

[ 2 ]

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Netherfield Park had been taken by a certain [ 3man ] of large fortune; Mr. Bingley, a single four or five thousand a year.

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M

rs. Bennet, who had five unmarried daughters, was greatly excited by the arrival of Mr. Bingley in the

neighbourhood. By all accounts he was young, wonderfully handsome, extremely agreeable and, to crown the whole, he meant to be at the next ball. To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Mr. Bingley’s heart were entertained.

[ 4 ]

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‘It

is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them.’

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B

ut at the ball it was his friend Mr. Darcy who soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person,

handsome features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year and a large estate in Derbyshire.

[ 6 ]

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Mr. Bingley was good looking , but Mr. Darcy was much handsomer, a fine figure of a man…

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M

r. Darcy was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till he slighted Elizabeth Bennet by

refusing to dance with her. ‘She

is tolerable,’ he said, ‘but not handsome enough to

tempt me.’

[ 8 ]

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He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and every body hoped that he would never come there again.

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THE END

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Small pets are abandoned every day, but the lucky ones end up in rescue centres where they can be looked after and rehomed. You may not know it, but some of these centres are devoted entirely to guinea pigs. They work with welfare organizations to give first class advice and information, as well as finding loving new owners for the animals they look after.

If youÂ’ve fallen a little bit in love with guinea pigs as well as with Mr. Darcy, perhaps think of supporting your local rescue centre!

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The publishers would like to thank Amanda, Pauline and Jenn, as well as Jane, Charles, Caroline, Rosie, Phoebe and Alison, for their continuing comradeship and generosity. Thanks also to Belmondo for bringing this little book to life.

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JA N E AUS T E N was born in 1775 and went on to become one of the greatest novelists in English literature. Her work includes such perennial favourites as Pride & Prejudice , Persuasion and Emma , and has been adapted for radio, television and film.

T E S S G A M M E L L was born in 1987 and when she is not sewing miniature bonnets or welding tiny lamp posts, she works as a freelance set designer on a variety of scales for fashion, film, events and window displays. She lives in London.

A L E X G O ODW I N was born in 1985 and when he is not hacking the work of a certain famous novelist into guinea-pigfriendly chunks, he writes his own fiction (which he hopes might one day receive the same treatment). He lives in London.

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Bloomsbury Publishing An imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc 1385 Broadway New York N Y 10 018 US A

50 Bedford Square London WC 1 B 3 DP UK www.bloomsbury.com

BLO OM S BU R Y and the Diana logo are trademarks of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc First published in Great Britain 2015 Abridgement © Alex Goodwin 2015 Photography © Belmondo 2015 Illustrations on pages viii, 26, 36 © Tess Gammell 2015 Alex Goodwin has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988 to be identified as the author of this abridgement. No animals died, were harmed or were placed under undue stress during the production of this publication. The publishers can confirm that the animals involved were treated with respect and that their owners were present throughout all photography shoots. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers. British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication data has been applied for. I S BN U K: H B : 9 7 8 - 1 - 4 0 8 8 - 6 551 - 4 E P U B : 9 7 8 - 1 - 4 0 8 8 - 6 552 - 1

I S BN US: H B : 9 7 8-1-63 2 86 - 2 4 2 - 6 E P U B : 9 7 8-1-63 2 86 - 2 4 3-3

2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1 Costume, props & illustration: Tess Gammell

Photography & book design: Belmondo

Printed and bound in China by C&C Offset Printing Co., Ltd All papers used by Bloomsbury Publishing are natural, recyclable materials made from wood grown in well-managed forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

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