Success with Stress

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Facilitator Manual

Success with Stress Stress Management Strategies that Really Work Ingrid Vaughan

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Success with Stress Stress Management Strategies that Really Work An Encore Workshop developed by Ingrid Vaughan

Š 2012 Success with Stress: Stress Management Strategies that Really Work

Facilitator Manual Author: Ingrid Vaughan Manual: 008-07-03 IV-FM

To order an Encore Workshop please visit our website www.encoreworkshops.com Encore Workshops is an imprint of Small Business Success (a division of Blue Beetle Books Inc.) Blue Beetle Books Inc. www.bluebeetlebooks.com www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca Tel: 778.265.3070 Email: janie@bluebeetlebooks.com

Š 2012 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system without the prior written consent of Encore Workshops.

Encore Workshops If you would like to find out more about Encore Workshops please visit our website www.encoreworkshops.com.

INTRODUCTION

All employees experience stress from time to time. It comes from every direction - work, home, personal commitments, volunteer activities, the list goes on - and it’s often difficult to manage it all.

When it comes to managing stress, as in everything else in life, one size doesn’t fit all.

This workshop will help participants identify their specific areas of stress; understand what stress is and how it affects them. It will also help them identify what stress management techniques work best for them. Success with Stress provides practical strategies for managing stress – no matter the source. Participants learn how to laugh at themselves, look at life differently, and feel good about their ability to handle all the things that life demands of them.

What Are Participants Going To Learn?

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Identifying the sources/causes of stress

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To understand their physiological response to stress

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To recognize their role in the stress cycle

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To identify their specific areas of stress

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How stress tools can minimize their stress

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How to take care of themselves

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To understand others and learn to minimize the stress in their relationships

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How, and when, to set boundaries

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To manage their priorities

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How to eliminate time stealers

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To lead a more balanced life

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How to develop a master life plan

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To become a big picture thinker

Workshop Outcomes What 5 things do you want participants to learn? (specific to their role in your company)

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What benefits do you want to see from the workshop? (specific to your company)

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Table of Contents

Module 1: STRESS COMPONENTS .............................. Defining Stresses in Your Life ..................................................... 1 .............................. Looking at Causes/Sources of Stress .......................................... 2 .............................. Understanding Your Physiological Response to Stress ............ 3 .............................. Results of Stress ........................................................................... 5 .............................. Recognizing Your Role in the Stress Cycle ................................ 6

Module 2: STRESS IDENTIFICATION .............................. Identifying the Sources of Your Stress ...................................... 7 .............................. Learning to Use Stress Tools to Identify Stress ....................... 10

Module 3: STRESS STRATEGIES .............................. Taking Care of Yourself ............................................................... 11 .............................. Understanding Others................................................................. 12 .............................. Improving Communication......................................................... 14 .............................. Setting Boundaries ...................................................................... 15 .............................. Managing Priorities ..................................................................... 16 .............................. Eliminating Time Stealers ........................................................... 17 .............................. Balancing Life ............................................................................. 18

Module 5: STRESS CHOICES .............................. Becoming a Big Picture Thinker ................................................. 20 .............................. Affirming Your Choices ............................................................... 21

Stress List List as many stresses in your life as come to your mind. Beside each one indicate the severity level of the stress you are currently feeling (L = Low, M = Moderate, S = Severe). Also indicate whether the stress is work-related or whether it is a stress at home by indicating with a W or an H. Stress

Level

W/H

Stress

Level

W/H

1. ______________________ _____ _____

11. ______________________ _____ _____

2. ______________________ _____ _____

12. ______________________ _____ _____

3. ______________________ _____ _____

13. ______________________ _____ _____

4. ______________________ _____ _____

14. ______________________ _____ _____

5. ______________________ _____ _____

15. ______________________ _____ _____

6. ______________________ _____ _____

16. ______________________ _____ _____

7.______________________

_____ _____

17. ______________________ _____ _____

8. ______________________ _____ _____

18. ______________________ _____ _____

9. ______________________ _____ _____

19. ______________________ _____ _____

10.______________________ _____ _____

20.______________________ _____ _____

1a

Give participants a few minutes to come up with what they feel are the major stresses in their lives, and to rate and deďŹ ne each one. Then have them share those stresses with the group. Participants will be adding to their list from what they hear from the group.

1b

Module 1

STRESS COMPONENTS

Looking at Sources/Causes of Stress

Societal Expectations

Life Circumstances

Family of Origin

Personality/Behavioural Style

2a

Module 1

STRESS COMPONENTS

Looking at Sources/Causes of Stress Use the following lists as starting points in each category but encourage participants to come up with their own. GOAL: to define the sources and causes of stress.

Societal Expectations (what societal expectations cause stress?)

• male and female roles and expectations • physical standards (how we look) • work demands (how much we are expected to work) • economic expectations (keeping up with the Jones’s) Life Circumstances (what kinds of stressful things are people going through?)

• sandwich generation (teenagers and aging parents) • illness or trauma • financial stress • Kids in college • divorce/remarriage • step-parenting Family of Origin (what messages did you hear about dealing with stress?)

• keep your chin up - life is what you make it • just deal with it and move on • don’t air your dirty laundry • there’s no such thing as stress Personality/Behavioural Style (how does your personality affect how you deal with stress?)

• easygoing or high strung • let things go easily or find it hard to do so • risk taker or safe player • planner or spontaneous

2b

Stress Components

Module 1

Understanding Your Physiological Response to Stress

DeďŹ ning the Stressor

Characteristics of the Stressor Importance Time (short-term or chronic) Compounding Eect Simultaneous Stressors Due Date

Positive vs. Negative Stress

3a

Understanding Your Physiological Response to Stress

Defining a Stressor Anything in life that asks you to respond to it.

Characteristics of the Stressor Importance - how critical or important is the event (death of a spouse vs. breaking up with a boyfriend) Time (short-term or chronic) - the longer the term, the greater the stress Compounding Effect - how stress has been dealt with in the past (is steam released quickly or are you a pressure cooker?)

Simultaneous Stressors - how many stresses are taking place at the same time?

Due Date - the degree of stress increases as the time line draws closer (e.g. spending the holidays with your in-laws) Positive vs. Negative Stress Your body can’t tell the difference between positive and negative stress (i.e. an important job interview vs. losing a job). It will respond to positive stress the same way it does to negative stress (have you ever been so excited you felt sick? Seen someone faint at their wedding?). When assessing stress in your life - make sure to factor in even the positive stressors.

3b

Module 1

Stress Components

The Stress Chain STRESSOR

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INDIVIDUAL ASSESSMENT OF STRESSOR

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CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE

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PHYSICAL STRESS RESPONSE (Preparing for Fight or Flight)

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FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE

4a

Module 1

Stress Components

The Stress Chain

The stress chain demonstrates how we react physically and emotionally to stresses in our lives. It’s important to recognize the connection from stressor to stress response.

STRESSOR

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g g g g g g

frustration coffee/cigarettes any kind of change emotional upheaval pressures (self-induced or external) conflict

INDIVIDUAL ASSESSMENT OF STRESSOR

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g gender g support system (or lack of one) g self-esteem

g personality g experience g health g age

CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE

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message to brain that a stress has been detected

PHYSICAL STRESS RESPONSE (Preparing for Fight or Flight)

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g heart rate goes up g blood pressure goes up g muscles tense g stress hormones are released

FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE g emotional release (yelling, tears) g withdrawing (checking out) g physical release (hitting something) g illness (physical or emotional) g emotional breakdown

4b

Stress Components

Module 1

Results of Stress Emotional Results

Intellectual Results

Physical Results

Repeated or prolonged stress that has not been dealt with will cause physical illness, emotional breakdown, and eventually, death.

5a

Stress Components

Module 1

OPTIONAL: PowerPoint Slide #2

Results of Stress

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Emotional Results [ [ [ [ [

inability to cope insecurity lower self-esteem lack of confidence strain on relationships

Intellectual Results [ [ [ [ [

negative self-talk defeating thinking giving up poor performance strain on relationships

Physical Results [ [

health problems panic attacks

Your safety brain is what protects you from harm. It initiates your fight/flight response to any perceived danger.

When you are faced with an apparent threat, it jumps into action and is not always logical. If you have ever lost your toddler in a large store, you will have felt this reaction - you panic, begin to behave irrationally as you frantically begin to look for your child. The more people try to calm you down, the more upset you get. Your frenzy increases with each moment that goes by, and rational thought goes out the window - that’s your Safety Brain at its peak. Your Thinking Brain is the part of you that allows you to stop in the face of fear and problem-solve, cooperate, be creative, and have logical and rational thoughts. It engages when you are feeling safer. When you are under a lot of stress, your Safety Brain goes into high gear because it perceives the stress as a threat to your safety. The more stress you feel, the more irrational you become (I’m NEVER going to get out of debt - why even try, I’m going to lose my job, bad things ALWAYS happen to me etc.). Eventually, the messages from the Safety Brain (Mouse Click) will cut off the messages that flow through the hippocampus from one side to the other, leaving you stuck in the RED zone of panic and irrational behaviour. Being aware of this during stressful times helps you to regain access to the Thinking Brain which will lead you to solutions rather than fear and panic.

Repeated or prolonged stress that has not been dealt with will cause physical illness, emotional breakdown, and eventually, death.

5b

Stress Components

Module 1

Recognizing Your Role in the Stress Cycle Identify Your Stress Patterns

Event + Response = Outcome

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= 6a

Stress Components

Module 1

Recognizing Your Role in the Stress Cycle Identify Your Stress Patterns

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Event + Response = Outcome Susan was taking a red-eye flight to a business meeting early the next morning. She was anxious about getting enough sleep in order to be effective at her meeting so she settled in around midnight to try to get some sleep.

Within a few moments she heard a loud shriek and realized a woman with a toddler was sitting in the seat directly in front of her. The toddler was screaming non-stop, and although the mother tried everything possible to get her child to calm down, nothing was working. This went on for fifteen minutes. Susan became very anxious. She thought about how difficult it would be for her to function the next day if she didn’t get any sleep. Her thoughts began to spiral. She felt herself tensing up physically, and became angrier by the moment. She thought about saying something to the mother in her anger and leaned over the seat to address the woman. When she saw the tears in the young mom’s eyes and the panic on her face as she tried to quiet her baby, knowing all the passengers on the plane were probably irritated and upset, Susan’s perspective instantly changed. She remembered what it was like herself, flying with young children many years ago. She also realized that young mom was going through as much, if not more, stress than she was going through. Suddenly, her thoughts went from giving the mom a piece of her mind, to seeing if she had anything in her bag that might help. Eventually the baby settled down, and Susan got a decent night’s sleep. In the morning as passengers were getting off the plane, Susan noticed more than a few harsh glances cast in the direction of the mom, who was cradling her now adorable and quiet baby. As she got up to leave, Susan said to the woman “I know it must have been really stressful having your baby be so upset last night, but I want you to know I think you did a great job of calming her down.” The mom’s eyes welled up with tears as she thanked Susan for her kind words.

How did Susan’s response impact her stress level? How could the results have been different if she hadn’t changed her response? How would that have impacted her stress level?

The greater control you take of the response the more you will positively affect the outcome.

6b

Encore Workshops - an imprint of Small Business Success (a wholly owned subsidiary of Blue Beetle Books Inc.)

If you would like to review the full manual, or discuss your current training needs please call our customer service manager Janie Dunning at 778.265.3070 or email janie@bluebeetlebooks.com.

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Mike Wicks (Publisher)

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