Perception, Reality, and Illusions: Get Me Out of My Head

Perception, Reality, and Illusions: Get Me Out of My Head

Brooke Maher Expository Writing

Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

Table of Contents Introduction ……………………………………………………….... 2 Chapter One ………………………………………………………. 4 – 8 My First Haircut Experience ………………………………. 4 Chapter Two ……………………………………………………… 9 - 14 Transition ………………………………………………….. 9 The Son My Dad Never Had ……………………………….10 Chapter Three ………………………………………………….. 15 - 20 Transition …………………………………………………….. 15 Things Can Change, Even If They Don’t Change ……………. 16 Chapter Four …………………………………………………… 21 - 28 Transition ……………………………………………………... 21 Effects of Environment ………………………………………… 22 Conclusion ………………………………………………………. 29-30 About the Author …………………………………………………… 31 1

Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

Introduction I have always second guessed myself. I have always second guessed other people. I know I can trust too easily. I need to see something in order to believe it, hold it in my hands to know it’s real. I’ve come to learn that things aren’t, and usually aren’t, always what they seem. I constantly get caught up in my own thoughts. It’s like millions of bees with individual ideas, related or unrelated, full of contradiction and inconsistency are constantly buzzing inside of me. I get lost inside my own thoughts, sometimes forgetting where I was even going.

Perception is an amazing concept. Everything we experience in life we see through our eyes only. The same item can mean two completely different things to two different people. A hair salon to me is completely different to you.

However, our perception of something is never permanent. Other factors can change our minds because nothing is set in stone and we can always change it.

The way you look at someone; whether it is as specific as your best friend’s mom’s boyfriend’s step-daughter or just women in general, we have a certain way of viewing people and assuming who they are or will be.

It gets trickier when we start looking at how we perceive ourselves. Is it solely based on how we genuinely feel we are inside our own heads? Or is it how we feel other people look at off and we respond to that feedback? That is what makes perception so tricky because someone could just step in and change your entire assessment on something and open your mind to a whole new world you didn’t even know was there.

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That is when reality comes into play. Is reality just 100% no-bullshit backed-up and proved facts? The reality is the sky is up, money doesn’t grow on trees, and no that boy will not love you back. But my reality could be different than yours. If I am upside-down the ground is below me. I can go back to my hometown and see the same building I have been seeing for 18 years and the reality of the situation is, I don’t have the same feelings I once did when I lived there full time.

Reality is what we experience from day to day. It is the fact that yes I have to wake up and go to class and do my work and study or I will fail. It is the fact that if I stay under water for five minutes I’ll die. There are some things that are, for sure, what we know.

But then there comes in illusions. It’s the delusions and confusions that fog our brains and flood our emotions. It’s knowing that things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes we are told things we believe are true and it can control our lives. Like religion, terrorism, thinking gays and minorities and the government are “evil” etc. There are so many things we think are true that can change our views on life. So many ideas floating around in the world that would misguide us, we could misunderstand, misinterpret, and in the end make us misjudge.

It is finding that perfect mix of reality and illusion that makes up our real perception.

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Chapter One: My First Haircut Experience Your typical first haircut story: I was young, my mom brought me, and they cut 2 inches off. I say young because I honestly don’t know how old you are when you usually get your first haircut. 3? 5? I’m not sure. I’m not sure because my first haircut in a salon was two months ago. I have only gotten my hair cut once in my life?! No. My mom has been cutting my hair since before I could remember. Which was probably before I could even crawl because I had full head of bright red hair straight out of the womb. I like when things stay the same and this was something in my life that had never changed.

I have always had mixed feelings towards haircuts. My weirdly strong emotional attachment to my hair is most at fault, but also due to the fact I have never really been a huge fan of change. But I don’t remember ever fighting with my mom about not wanting her to cut my hair. I kind of lucked out. You know how your corky Aunt always buys you an ugly blouse for Christmas? Or your Nana gets you 100 plastic forks for your 14th birthday and you have to act like you just unwrapped a unicorn? No I don’t know that feeling either… because I have that fake smile of surprise and happiness down

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to a T after 18 years of practice. Fortunately, I never had to use that face when getting my haircut. If I hated it, I would tell my mom and she would try to fix it (once I stopped crying).

I don’t ever remember her cutting my hair in the winter. We always seemed to be on the deck overlooking our backyard. The breeze would pick up my hair and sprinkle it all over the yard for the birds to use in their nests. We had multiple red-haired bird nests in the rafters under our deck. My mom still cuts my hair to this day. So why did I get my haircut at a salon this past Thanksgiving break you ask? I’m still not even sure, I didn’t even have an appointment.

It was about that time of year when me and my sister’s faces looked like we had two caterpillars crawling above our eyes. We had been going to the same lady, Kat, since we first started getting our eyebrows waxed. She knew exactly how we liked them done so there was never a reason to go anywhere else. But, she had recently just changed salons.

I helped two of the stylists untangle and hang up silver sparkly snowflakes from the ceiling. I’m pretty sure the walls were light blue, like aqua.

But I have horrible memory, like my friends joke about me having “halftimers” (spin off of Alzheimer’s because it’s not all gone, but almost). I had only

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been in this salon twice before as well, but I do remember the setup of the room.

Front desk to the left when you walk in, nail table to the right, chairs to wait in with magazines on a table diagonally to the left, hallway straight ahead leading to the bathrooms and back rooms, then the chairs and sinks where you get your hair cut diagonally to the right.

My sister got hers done first (as she always does of course, older sister ego) while I waited. Then finally it was my turn, but when I returned to the main salon front room, she was getting her hair trimmed. Honestly, I was a little jealous! The hair stylist, who was overweight, spoke like she smokes with ten cigarettes in her mouth four times a day, and looked like she had gone through enough shit to make a movie about her life, made me a little uneasy. But I was still jealous of Coryn (my sister) because the lady washed her hair and brushed it and blow dried it and it just looked nice. So before my mom went in for a facial, I asked if I could get my hair trimmed too. And, obviously or I wouldn’t be telling this story, she said yes.

My hair was just plain cut straight with some brittle dead ends that hung about three inches from my butt. Somehow, during that twelve foot walk from the waiting chair to the haircutting chair, I decided I didn’t just want a trim. I wanted around four inches cut off and long layers cut into it as well. Yes, I

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know it was not a huge life changing decision, like I said before, I am not a huge fan of change. Also, I had about five seconds to even think about it because while I was waiting for my sister to be done.

I had vaguely explained to the hairdresser what I wanted, she did a great job on my sister’s hair so I trusted her for the most part. Unfortunately, my hair was still damp from a previous shower so I didn’t get all the pampering my sister did. She then continued to cut off five to six inches of hair off my head. I knew it was for the best though and since my hair grows like a wildfire I wasn’t too concerned. But once she started cutting layers into it and more and more length was being shaved off I became a little worried. But during the whole process I learned it was much more than a haircut. I got to know the hair dresser on a much more personal level than one usually does in a thirty minute time period. I even found out that she graduated high school with my dad!

Then before I even knew it, the appointment was over. I loved the way my hair came out and was glad I had decided to trust her.

Although change is not my favorite thing, I would do it again. I know it is good to sometimes try to come out of my comfort zone but, having a parent who can cut my hair for free is almost too tempting to pay for a haircut. If I

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was looking for a drastic change with my hair, I would definitely go back to the salon.

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Chapter Two: Transition Just like how I didn’t know what to expect when getting my first haircut, you don’t know what to expect when you first meet someone. It is one of the most criticized thing we do as human beings, and one of the hardest habits to break: judging a book by its cover.

Sometimes it’s a good thing. It is an evolutionary trait that has developed for our need to survive. You aren’t going to pick up a creepy, muscly man on the side of an isolated road with no cell phone service while he’s holding a machete and covered in blood stains, now are you? But you won’t think twice about picking up the distraught mother with three young kids beside a broken down minivan.

But most of the time, judging someone before knowing them, is not the best way to go about things. People will surprise you, in good or bad ways.

However, it’s hard to erase a first impression. You see a stranger kick a puppy out of their way on the street on their way to work. What an asshole, probably doesn’t have any friends or a beating heart. But your best friend kicks a puppy out of their way on the street on their way to work… they are just having a bad day, she’s a great person I swear! No that is not a real story I promise.

Life has a way of surprising you. Things aren’t always what we think they are going to be. And those things can especially mean people.

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The Son My Dad Never Had When I am not in my work out clothes or soccer uniform I look like your typical girl. I wear make-up, put on dresses and heels on the weekends, and sometimes, just maybe, you can catch me playing with my hair. From just being a girl in general we get stereotyped. We are looked at as over emotional, we care too much, we do like to get our hands dirty, we cry at everything and we hate other girls. These examples, and many others, and things I hate to have be assumed about me. If I hear a guy say to me “all girls are crazy” one more time I’ll actually become one of those typical girls! We aren’t all the same, just like guys always say “not all guys are assholes” (even though they are wrong when they try to defend it). Stereotypes are all around us and for every race, age, religion or category you can think of. In the book Losing My Cool by Thomas Chatterton Williams, he explains in detail his life growing up and how stereotypes amongst others things, shaped the person he was. Like Williams, I too have been a victim of prior assumptions based on ineffectual opinions.

Williams and I are similar because people expect us to act a certain way and be interested in certain things. Just because of his appearance people assumed he had a hard life and was a tough kid. But he really had a stable and loving family who highly encouraged his academic success.

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Being a small, white, red-haired girl from a decently wealthy town, I dressed nicely there are a lot of things that people think they know about me that are false. I listen to rap music and know every word in each of the rap battles in the movie 8 Mile based on Eminem’s life. My iTunes is filled with Biggie Smalls, Drake, Kayne West, and J.Cole. People are shocked when I start singing every line in songs that I don’t look like “my type of music”. I’d rather cut my ears off than listen to Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. That’s just not me.

Once people get to know me, they realize that their previous judgments we not true. That is the same for Williams but only for the people, like Clarence, who really get to know him and see him when he is at home. But, the difference between me and Williams is that I don’t strive to be something I am not, which is a problem I see Williams run into.

He wants so badly to actually be the stereotypical black thug that he even says that “at the end of school each day, I’d wish that I were on one of the all-black Newark-bound buses instead of being banished to the local bus of passenger seat of my mother’s car.” (Page 40). Williams gets so effected by wanting to be something else, something that he is not, that he tries to keep up with that thought and starts changing into a different person. It is only really

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when he goes home and studies with his father that he is truly being himself. He likes how people at school react to him when they think of him as a tough guy.

Not only does my taste in music surprise people, but my knowledge and love for sports stuns people as well. Ever since I was five years old I was involved in sports. My Dad plays soccer and hockey and took me to every sporting event he could. I grew up playing outside and running around with the boys in my neighborhood. Some people may think it was my upbringing that had ingrained my love for sports in my brain, but if you talk to my 20 year old sister Coryn, you would know that isn’t true. She is about as girly as it gets. But how I was raised did, obviously, contribute to how I am today.

The main difference from me and Williams is that when he embraces what people assume about him, while I enjoy proving them wrong. I love being a girl who loves sports. I love proving guys wrong when they think I don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s almost as good as correcting a guy who thinks he knows more than me. I recently had one of my guy friends from here randomly test my sports knowledge and ask me a bunch of multi-sport questions. I went 12 for 14 (may I add that the only two I got wrong were the last two because he was mad I kept getting them right so he asked me ridiculous questions). I watch NESN and ESPN when I’m at the gym, I have Bruins’

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season tickets, I go to school sporting events with my friends, and have even been to a handful of professional games with just my guy friends. Just two weekends ago I was at my Cousin Megan’s engagement party and when all the groomsmen went out to smoke cigars I was invited. We laughed and smoked and drank out there for almost two hours.

Even my guy friends from home refer to me as one of them. They are like my brothers and we all mess around and chill like we are family. I would never trade any of that for all the make-up or designer bags there are in the world. My girlfriends from college now even pick up on my “boy-ish” habits. It’s just a part of who I am and it is something not a lot of people expect from me.

But like almost any stereotype, there is some truth behind the assumption. Williams’s changes into what people expect of him thus making the expectations true. He is a great basketball player, he ends up treating his girlfriend Stacey like he is expected to by his peers, and he runs his mouth to older kids and authority figures like his Coach. Just like this is true for Williams, there is also some truth behind it for me as well. I do have my girl moments and can be your typical girl. I will shed a tear or two when a dog dies in a movie or seeing a soldier being reunited with their family. I have my fair share of emotional moments and overreactions, but, why don’t we all?

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Stereotyping is something that will never go away and has only gotten broader in the past years. As the world becomes more connected and cultures become more integrated people will start to judge each other even more. And even though we try to not hold prejudices against different groups, there will always be people that prove our assumptions right.

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Chapter 3 Transition Just like people aren’t always what they seem, neither are places.

Memories and people are what really effect how we perceive an area. The color on the walls in the living room of the house I grew up in aren’t what made me happy, it was the experiences in the room and the delight I felt that made that room enjoyable. But now, thinking back to that room, makes me sad. It’s been almost five years since I set foot in that house. I grew up there, it was the most carefree and stress free period of my life and I’d do anything to be able to live in that house again.

Where you are changes your mindset. If you were told to write two poems about your feelings and one you were on a beach in the Bahamas during sunset while the other was in the Times Square subway station in New York City on New Year’s Eve the two pieces would be completely different. Your emotions are effected by your surrounding and it reflects in your personality.

Things change even if they don’t change means that something can stay the same but your feelings about it can change. Positively or negatively, because something happened or because nothing happened. Time and growing up also has a strong impact on your view of things, and over all your view on life.

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Things Can Change, Even If They Don’t Change When I was younger, I had always planned on going away for college and traveling after I graduated, but I didn’t exactly know where I wanted to go.

Following those years, I had also planned eventually on settling down in a nice suburban town with a family. The difference with that part of my life is that I knew exactly where I wanted that town to be. The place I spent the first 18 years of my life: North Attleboro, Massachusetts. I have traveled to numerous places over my life so far, for example Italy, France, Iceland, Aruba, Haiti, Jamaica, and different places around the US, but I still wanted to have my family in North.

My Dad spent his whole life here too and I thought it would be so cool to have my kids go to the same school I did, play sports in the same colors I did and do all this with the same “Big Red” pride I had. I thought it would be cool to see how my town would develop and change, like my Dad and parents have done. On the contrary, my Mom, who grew up in Norwood, hates North Attleboro. This is for many reasons but mainly due to the close knit-gossipydrama filled-community. Everyone knows everything about everyone and the chatty mothers in the town are most at blame. My parents went through a 16

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divorce five years ago and with my Dad’s well-known status in North, the divorce was just like my Dad: well-known. Even prior to the divorce, my Mom had always told me I wouldn’t want to stay in this place forever.

In roughly the past year, and more strongly after going away to school, my feelings about where I want to spend my future have changed. I remember growing up my town was so peaceful and low-key. Now, I don’t know if this was due to my young ignorance or because I had never lived anywhere else or not, but I did love my town and everything in it. It was just a charming and comfortable place to be. But now, every time I go home, whether it is for weeks or a night, I notice something else I don’t like about the town. Notice how now, I say the town. Not my town. It feels different to me now. The woods that blocked off Route 1 and surrounded the area the house I spent the first fourteen years of my life in, are now destroyed and you can see right through them to an almost complete auto-mile. The big hill in front of the church I used to sled down as a kid seems so out of place now. Like something out of The Wizard of Oz, it came from another state and just randomly decided to fall here.

Abandoned buildings and graffiti litter the center of town. The bleachers up at the high school track are falling apart as the paint chips. It’s sickening. It’s like no one is there, or no one cares enough to actually pick up the town.

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As for the things that haven’t physically changed, I just feel different about them. It’s hard for me to put into words. The field I played four years of soccer on, which was a sanctuary to me, I now look at as nothing more than a patch of grass. I guess I am just tired of everything there. Nothing excites me.

There is nothing I just love about the town anymore. I find myself bored a lot when I am home. This could be due to the fact I don’t have a car or not much goes on like it does here at school. But, I am just used to always having something to do that when I am home I am just at a loss for things to do.

There is also a change in the social scene. Since all of my friends are in college, some of us have either grown apart or just aren’t around to chill anymore. I have had the same four best friends since sixth grade. We have drifted a little bit over the past two years due to jobs, and sports, and boyfriends, but we still make it a point to hang out all together when we can.

Luckily, I have had the same one best friend since then as well and we are still super close and talk almost every day.

As for my guy friends, I am still keep in really close contact with them as well. They are like brothers to me and since a few of them still live at home, I hang out with them the most when I am in town. In regards to the big group of

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us, we all have jobs and responsibilities to maintain so it is hard to find a time for everyone to get together.

The main group of friends I have is still pretty connected for the most part. But instead of having a party on weekends, we usually just have gettogethers. The 15 of us have turned into 7. I feel like it will be better to tell who is really still around once summer comes around. People will make time for other people if they find it necessary.

Also, we have all made other friends at school. And even I can admit to feeling this way a lot, sometimes we’d rather be with our college friends than our ones at home. I am so fortunate with the friends I have made over my lifetime. I have never lost a good friend and have always had people to be there for me when I need them. Same goes for my friends I have met here. It’s amazing and also kind of scary, how well we all get along and fit together. So sometimes I would just rather spend time with them as opposed to my home friends.

Luckily, I think the relationship I have with my parents has benefitted since I have been away. We still obviously get into arguments here and there but I don’t seem to stay as upset for as long as I used to. I find myself having more patience with them and being more understanding. And although I have 19

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way less freedom at home than I do at school, it really isn’t all that bad. I don’t have a curfew anymore and I can basically do whatever I want as long as I tell them. Also, since my friends aren’t always around I find myself not minding to run errands with my Mom or go out to dinner with my Dad when I had in previous situations, declined. I think since I see them less I have an easier time tolerating them (and that definitely goes both ways).

I know that overall, it is still a pretty decent town. But I know there are so many other better places I could spend my time raising a family and having a happy life. The strings that used to attach me to the area seem to have loosened and become longer. I don’t feel that same sense of comradely that I once did. Who knows what will happen over the next few years and where my life will take me? I do love the New England area but I am always open to different places. But although the reasons for me to stay in North Attleboro are dwindling, there aren’t really any reasons for me to go. I don’t absolutely need to get out of there but, I feel like it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

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Chapter 4 Transition Just like my environment and where I grew up made me the person I am today, so did Thomas Williams Chatterton as he explains in his book Losing My Cool. It is hard to not be influenced by your surroundings. It’s actually pretty impossible to not be swayed by what is going on around you. When you are young you want to fit in and be “popular”. This tracks all the way up into adulthood.

I think that we are most malleable from birth until we are around the age of 18. This part of our life we are constantly being told what to do, whether it is by our parents or peers. Williams was drilled with the idea of being an “OG” (original gangster) or a “thug” when he was in the stage of his life. He was influenced by the media, his friends, and society.

However, once he went to college he started thinking less of what other people thought of him, and more of what he wanted to do. The need to fit in decreases with maturity and the need to fit in is replaced by the need to do what one thinks is right.

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Effects of Environment It is hard to really pin point what really makes us who we are and molds our personality. It all really comes down to two different aspects: nature vs. nurture. In other words, it is biology and genetics vs. our surroundings and outer influences. In the book Losing My Cool by Thomas Williams Chatterton, the author, Williams, is strongly swayed by his environment and the people in it.

Whether it was a stimulus from his Father, friends, town, or BET, Williams took the information that was all around him and shaped himself.

As mostly every teen does, we absorb everything around us and mimic things we admire or think are cool. Looking everywhere from television commercials to older cousins to professional athletes, we strive for perfection and to fit in or feel a sense of belonging. All anyone wants to do in middle school is to fit in. And you usually do so by following trends and doing what is perceived as normal.

As I look back at pictures and think back to specific memories, these popular fads seem ridiculous. I now understand why my mom would always fight with me about the thickness of my eyeliner. I would try to go downstairs with the least possible amount of time between seeing her and leaving for the bus, but she was good and almost always caught me. And now, I am sure thankful she did!

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My friends and I (and a lot of other people we went to school with) would wear white short sleeved shirts with flowing tank tops over them, big pearl necklaces, plaid Bermuda shorts, and Adidas slip on sandals. That was the “style” and it was god-awful! But of course back then, it was what you wanted to wear and it was the end of the world if you weren’t dressed like everyone else and feeling like an outsider.

Williams strived to fit in and follow the crowd as well. In the teenage years of his life he shadows the traits illustrated by famous rappers like Nas and Biggie Smalls. The music he listened to, the way he dressed, treated girls, and even spoke was a reflection of his environment and the people he surrounded himself with.

He just wanted to be looked at as a tough black male who “kept it real”.

Throughout the book Williams references lyrics and different rappers.

Hip-hop was and still is a major part of his life and his favorite genre of music.

However, there is a difference in the role in played in different parts of his life.

In his high school years it was an anthem to his life style, lyrics such as “Money, hoes, and clothes, that’s all a brother knows; Fuck bitches, get money; Gs up, hoes down; All I’ve got for hoes is hard dick and bubble gum” (50) were rules that he tried to live by. Rap artists were looked at as gods and political

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figures to Williams and his friends, as they still are looked at as by some kids today.

A similarity between me and Williams could be music. I do too listen to hip-hop and rap very frequently and enjoy it almost as much as he did. The only difference, and a big one at that, is how literally he took the lyrics. I listen to lyrics about guns, and money, and hoes, but I am not (and will never be not try to) participate in that certain lifestyle. This could also be because I am not surrounded by people striving to be in that lifestyle or follow the lyrics either, such as Williams was.

The idea of women was also a big part of William’s life. This aspect is also tied into music because rappers would again give “rules” on how to treat them.

Williams had said that rappers like “Jay-Z told us straight up: We don’t love these hoes. Not if we’re going to be cool by his book” (50). They would be looked at by their friends as weak or even a “bitch” themselves if they treated a women with respect or dignity. But from examples of girls in the book, they almost did it to themselves. They slept around and accepted the abuse, whether it was verbal or physical, and didn’t do much about it. Some songs even seemed like it gave directions if a “Bitch get out of line? Slap her; punch that bitch,

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slap that hoe…” (51). These values are still even mimicked today by some guys and they can be looked down upon by their friends if they seem “whipped” or too “tied down”.

The clothes that Williams wore was directly related to the inspiration from his friends and the hip hop industry. His wardrobe mainly consisted of “Timberland boots, Sean John jeans and Iceberg sweats, oversized leather jackets, Polo and Enyce tops, [and] North Face bubble coats.” (136). He also wore things that were flashy and represented his status like “a $1,500 gold chain on top of $500 hand-knit Coogi sweaters from Australia” (49). Just like the ridiculous clothes I once sported, it was trendy and the way that everyone else around him was dressing. The question about if this was really his style doesn’t really occur until his college years when he comes into his own.

Once Williams went off to college is when he really, and finally, started coming into his own. Going into his sophomore year he changed his clothing style and that in turn changed almost everything. He decided to dress “like a man and not a kid” (139). This resulted in him feeling more confident in school, his teachers treating him differently, and changed the type of girls who were attracted to him/who he simultaneously desired. This raised the question to me, was this who he always was on the inside? Or had he just developed into this new person? And

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if he did just change, was it on his own, or again was he affected by his environment?

The real question is, are these “role models” and “superstars” really having that much influence as to who we are and who we will become? Are their lyrics being embedded into our brains like some type of repetitive ritualism chant to the point that it becomes our reality? These high prestige figures themselves are almost, if not more than, as influential as our surrounding peer.

That then brings in the popularity aspect of your “average” person. If Cady Heron didn’t wear army pants and flip-flops would anyone have worn army pants and flip-flops? (Mean Girls movie reference). Whatever magical force it is that makes someone “popular” then gives them the power to dictate what is cool or not. In response, others will follow and copy what they see. But where did this person get these ideas? Pop culture? Magazines? An older sibling?

If we were plopped on a deserted island with no one telling us what was “in” and even more importantly, what was “out” would we know? Or even more so, would we care? Why do we care? It’s a rhetorical question. Because to a certain extent, we need to care. If we really didn’t care what anyone thought and just did whatever we wanted, you would probably be looked at as the biggest bitch and rude. Which in turn would leave us alone, probably not too professionally

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successful, and overall unhappy. Is it possible to be happy completely alone and isolated anyways? Do we feed off approval in order to reassure ourselves that we are worthy and meaningful of love and life? There really is no real answer.

It is hard because we feel both of these ways. For most, it is a mix of wanting to be an individual and wanting to feel a part of a group. Even though, I feel like it is actually becoming more and more popular to be your own person and do your own thing. Why do we feel the need to do both of these things? Why can’t we just be happy with the person we are and move on? That question just can’t be fully answered.

As for Williams, from the outside he seems to be fully affected by his environment. He acts like a thug when he’s surrounded by thugs and he acts more civilized and classy when surrounded by people who are the same.

However, I think he is more of himself in his later years of college. He seems to talk less about what other people are doing and following them, and more about himself and what he wants to do.

Overall, I think it is inevitable to be influenced by your surroundings.

Demographics can have a big impact in your personality. If you live in Massachusetts, chances are, you are going to wear clothes like the people around you and use terminology (like wicked) that people in the state also use.

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Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

For the most part, you aren’t going to have an interest in surfing or say things like “y’all” and “rad”.

As for our views on how personality is formed in developed, that will always vary and there will never be a correct answer. Everyone grows and matures differently so it would be impossible to narrow down and pin point why people are who they are. It will always just be one of lives never answered questions.

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Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

Conclusion As I continue to grow up and learn more about myself and the world I live in, I carry on coming into my own. I surprise myself daily with how much I struggle with understanding myself. I have never been able to fully answer “How do you feel about it?” I usually feel a mixture of emotions and can never really make up my mind.

It is hard for me to feel strongly about complex things. I think it is usually a battle between my heart and my head. I’ve come to learn that my heart thinks in the present and my head thinks in the future. But it’s a mix of both when it comes to the past.

This is where perception can come into play. It works in the past, present, and future. The perception of a situation changes as you move through those three stages. You think about how something is going to be, you live through it, and then you reflect on what happened when you look back.

My heart lives in the moment and does what it feels like doing right that second without thinking about a consequence. Some may think that is good, some may think that is bad. And like almost everything, I’m not quite sure either.

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Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

This seems to pair up with my ideas about illusion. It is the emotional side of thinking. Sometimes you can’t explain or see something but you know it is there.

I try to think logically when I can because most of the time I am thinking with my heart. When I really sit down and think about things, my head is usually the only factor I work with. When I look at a situation I tend to ask myself questions. Will it be worth it? Will I get hurt in the long run? Am I going to regret this?

My head goes hand and hand with reality. Its facts, things I know are for sure and can count on. Reality is the only thing that is visible to everyone. No matter who you are the reality of the situation is always the same. It evens the playing field and makes things fair.

Even though I am growing up and maturing, I don’t think my brain will ever fully stop questioning everything (including myself). But that is just a part of who I am. Sometimes it frustrates me, most of the time it frustrates the people around me, but I guess the good thing is that I always try to look at both sides of a situation. Then just hope for the best.

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Perception, Reality, Illusion: Get Me Out of My Head

About the Author

Brooke Maher was born on May 21st 1995. Her parents Brad and Denise raised her in North Attleboro, MA with her sister Coryn who is 16 months older than she is. She grew up loving sports and spending most of my time playing soccer and being outside. Brooke now balances majoring in Sport Management at Nichols College with playing on the Women’s soccer team there. She likes sarcasm, cooking, dogs, music and thunder storms. She hates confrontation, ketchup, when people chew with their mouths open, and when someone doesn’t say thank you when you hold the door for them. She has the worst memory and her hearing is very much below average. She believes she is pretty easy-going and usually tries to put others needs before her own.

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