The
CON ESSION Collection
Secret 1: The shame and Stigma of Parental substance problems When I was a child, my parents were both alcoholics. Since addiction and alcoholism are shamed in this society and especially in Asian culture, I felt embarrassed and ashamed to reveal to others that my parents were alcoholics. Even though I would hear that my peers struggled with similar circumstances, I still did not want to be identified as the one with alcoholics as parents. As the years passed, my parents both put an end to their detrimental habits, but my internal shame did not. Like Dimmesdale, I worried about maintaining my unblemished reputation. In truth, I am as insecure and anxious as Dimmesdale is, but many do not detect those aspects in me. I try to be as responsible, helpful, and kind as I can in order to conceal my flaws and weaknesses from judgment. Having an alcoholic parent during one’s childhood has been linked to emotional, physical, mental, and social problems. I do not want my history to lower people’s perception of me. However, once I exposed this long-held secret, I realized how insignificant my past actually was. With personal knowledge of alcoholism and drug addiction, I can make wiser decisions in the future. A question that I would always ask my parents.
Secret 2: Career Pressure
I don’t want to work in the medical field when I grow up. Becoming a doctor or a dentist is an expectation in my family. It is all that my parents have worked so hard for and dedicated their time and money for me to go to school and have extra tutoring. It feels disgraceful and unappreciative because I don’t want to let my parents down and waste all of their hard work and effort. Similar to Dimmesdale, I stayed silent about this because I don’t want to be something that I am not. I want my parents to see me in the same way as they saw me before, just how Dimmesdale wanted the community to see him as the great reverend that he is.
Secret 3:
Depression
In the past few months, I have been dealing with depression and a mood disorder. It has not been diagnosed, but I feel distant from all of those who I have been close too. A cause of this may have been due to my past relationships and stress from school and future events. It is very difficult sickness to overcome and an even more difficult to tell people. As a child, people have always seen me as joyful and laughing all the time, and I did not want to change their perspective of me. However, at some points my emotions get to me and cause me to want to inflict pain on myself. It was at this point that I began to reach out to people. Telling people that I had these thoughts was a difficult task for me, but I knew it had to be done to ensure my own safety. Hester could not contain her secrets any longer because Pearl was a manifestation of her secret. Just as Hester had no choice, I felt like I did not have a choice as well. Hester told the truth being completely vulnerable and unaware of what was to happen next, “I must reveal the secret. He must discern thee in thy character. What may be the result, I know not.” Just as in Hester’s situation, I told my closest friends my secrets of how I felt, not knowing how they would react. To my luck, they were sympathetic and genuinely helped me feel better because they were in a similar situation.