SELF-CARE IS AN INSIDE JOB

It’s time to get real about self-care. I am exhausted and disheartened with all the ways our culture has grossly distorted the concept of self-care and how we are “supposed” to practice it. One does not have to look far or dig deep to encounter a deluge of noise all touting the overused #selfcare. Mainstream conversations have spun self-care into a commodity that many people have come to equate with opulence and luxury.

This positions self-care as something outside of ourselves, as something we need to ‘get’ or something we must ‘consume’.

It. Has. To. Stop. We are inadvertently cutting ourselves off from the very core of what sustains us.

Externalizing an interior process keeps people cycling on the hamster wheel of stress, pain and dysfunction. This deepens the cultural disconnect between body and mind, fosters comparison to others, perpetuates feelings of shame for not “getting it right” or not having access to resources, and fuels the search for magic pills and quick fi x solutions.

It’s time for a re-frame.

How about we all just take a sacred pause and stop to contemplate for a moment.

What if we actually got to know the “self” we are caring for?

What if we started to source our self-care from the inside out?

If we approach self-care from this angle, it doesn’t take long to begin to see that you cannot “hack” your way to wellbeing. Yes, there are certainly some simple things we can implement for ourselves to make life easier and more enjoyable, but as a rule I don’t believe in a fast track to wellness. Self-care is about the long game. I know because I’ve been walking this path my entire life.

I have memories of beginning to observe and track my own stress response through my teenage years. Anxiety and dysfunction were prevalent energetic

components in my environment and I distinctly remember recognizing how these energies began to manifest in my body.

As an adolescent making my way towards adulthood, a single truth was crystal clear:

Living your life from a constant state of depletion will make you sick, one way or another.

This was apparent in my own physiology and deeply woven through the threads of my lineage.

At an instinctual level, I understood that if I did not learn how to manage my stress, it would most defi nitely end up managing me.

I also knew that if I wanted to live a diff erent experience, I would have to be the one to create it.

And so I set out to study stress, the stress response and wellness. I discovered classes at my college focused on the BodyMind Connection, Creative Visualization and Nourishing the Mind, Body and Spirit. I found Deepak Chopra, Herbert Benson and Shakti Gowen.

It was here that I sourced my roots in self-care. I began to view self-care as an antidote for stress and a way to stay proactive in my own wellbeing. I graduated from college and enrolled in massage school. I learned how to truly be present in my body and guide clients to do the same.

For me, self-care is soul care. It is about understanding and engaging my own BodyMind connection so that I may know what my body and my being require in order to be healthy. It’s about making those things non- negotiable in my day to day life.

I believe that self-care is a deeply personal practice.

Something individualized that you get to curate for yourself with the same reverence and compassion you commit to your family, your clients, and all of the people in your world whom you consistently nurture and support.

Self-care is about prioritizing your basic needs, taking the time to explore what those needs are and why they are important.

Self-care is self-awareness and self-love. It is a decision to create nourishing practices for yourself and honor the commitment you make to your well being.

Self-care is the culmination of daily habits, practices and the rituals that sustain you.

It requires learning to shift gears internally so that you may be still within yourself and really listen.

Self-care says: I listen to my body. I listen to my soul. I listen to my intuition. My boundaries are non-negotiable.

In all the years of developing my own personal practice for selfcare and in supporting my clients to do the same, I have come to understand that self-care is an inside job. Any messaging that says otherwise is attempting to lead you away from one of your most powerful resources — your inner wisdom.

A commitment to self-care keeps you connected to the truth that you have innate value as a human being. You are worthy of sacred care. This knowing supports you in cultivating the courage to trust yourself, no matter what.

Trusting yourself fuels the courage to break unhealthy cycles. Self-care guides you to the tools and the means to interrupt patterns of stress and disconnection.

Self-care supports you in developing resilience and exercising autonomy. Practiced consistently over time, you begin to trust that everything you need is within you.

You get to define your value, your purpos e and your direction in the wor ld.