SPRINGTIME WEDDING TIPS CONTINUED

Offer your guests a Beverage Station, where they can choose pineapple, orange or grapefruit, along with choice of steaming teas or undeniably fresh coffee, and you’ve got yourselves a winning menu.

Lemon Curd Tart or invidually served Tartlets: The zing of lemon always seems to shout “Springtime!” And the brightness of color in these tarts is sure to delight. Top with candied lemon peels, or get more creative by adding edible flowers, or a modest mix of candied berries to mix up the vibrancy, like one edible green leaf, one purple blackberry, one red raspberry, one blueberry, one candied orange peel and you’ve got the entire rainbow!

Salmon: Baked, steamed, roasted, seared. Seasoned with olive oil and garlic, or mustard, or coarse black pepper, or a maple syrup drizzle, or a raspberry glaze. Consider serving with inventive side dishes to make this classic favorite something new!

Salad Station: Offering interactive cuisine stations is fun and provides your guests with the opportunity to choose based on their own tastes. Discuss with your caterer ways to be conservative with the anticipated portion sizes, this will be a budget-saver and help ensure food is not wasted.

Beverage Stations: Smoothies, Mocktails, Teas, Coffees. These marry so well with afternoon celebrations set in the spring! Consider an assortment of juices or punch, along with fresh infusions that guests can add as they like: lime / orange / lemon / cucumber wheels, melon balls, sprigs of mint, sage or basil, cherries, blackberries and strawberries and pineapple wedges.

SIMPLE FAVORS & KEEPSAKES

An interactive Keepsake Station: Offer a variety of florals and invite guests to create their own ‘Takeaway Bouquet.’

This one is always a hit, particularly if you include blooms that are the same as those spotlighted in your ceremony bouquets and reception centerpieces. Remember that the vases can be personalized with custom labels or painted by you and your sweetie as a stress-reliever as you prepare for the Big Day, or they can be repurposed. Consider scavenging used vases or vase like containers at thrift shops, etc.

A Smaller Guest Count? Consider tiny houseplants as keepsake giveaways! A small potted plant will serve as a longlasting reminder of your special celebration. Remember, you can always just give this very special favor to specific guests such as: wedding attendants, family, and select vendors such as your officiant, wedding designer, etc.

Flower Seed Packets are still a lovely takeaway gift! A rustic basket or tin display container, filled with varied seed packets all with a customized label from you & your sweetie, offered with a vision of love blooming. It’s a sweet and thoughtful way to extend the beauty of Your Special Day.

Accent Florals

An archway, ceremony backdrop or floral wall adorned with vibrant blossoms is always wonderful, but here are some additional ways to include flowers and natural elements in to your decor:

• Hanging florals, greenery, or latticed branches is an easy way to Accent Your Spaces from ABOVE. -Encourage your guests to look up... and fill out your event space with delightful natural highlights. Hanging rustic lighting or fabrics adds one more layer of flair!

• Shrubs of blooms along aisles or pathways, instead of petals or smaller bouquets. Twinkle lights are easily hidden within the leaves for nighttime wonder.

Entryway majesty. Let everyone enter in style! Ask your floral designer to dress up the main doorframe with cascading ivy, select blossoms of your choice, wood elements or streaming fabric.

• On a floral budget? Dangling flower buds, hung individually in a select area, can create an eye-catching and whimsical accent.

Framing with Flowers: Add blossoms or garlands around signage, seating charts, artwork, etc to keep the theme going! • Include florals in to your celebration not just because of color, but because they are actually your favorite blooms, or because these particular blossoms were present at the front doorstep of your first apartment together, or because the particular flower represents a quality that you highly value, or wish to infuse in to your marriage.

THE SEND-OFF

Your springtime wedding will remind everyone of the inherent beauty of “fresh starts.” Build on this as you finish up your celebration.

A Dove Release, or Butterfly Release: Still an organically meaningful way to close your reception and send you and your new spouse off into the sunset. However, there are other choices as well, especially if the idea of using live animals brings you pause.

Color Bombs and Sparklers: Still all the rage. In your fabulous chosen wedding colors, or in all the hues of the rainbow!

Flower Petals: Vintage and classic. Just be sure the aisle your guests create for you is narrow, so those petals find their way over your heads without much effort!

Ribbon Wands: These work so well for an afternoon send-off, and especially for weddings with a garden oriented or whimsical theme. Long strands of varied ribbon can be thick or thin, and even personalized with your names and special date for a takeaway keepsake. Ribbons can be attached to a branch or thin dowel, but guests can also just hold the end of the ribbon for an even easier option.

Married and Lonely. Married and Sad.

by: Dr. Charla Waxman BS, MBA, EdD Director of Business Development Lake Behavioral Hospital

Marriage is supposed to be the antithesis of loneliness; that is to say that marriage is supposed to be about a relationship that is binding and rife with feeling of togetherness and companionship. For some, a marriage can become a place of loneliness and a place where one or both partners feel forgotten.

Perhaps the phrase “lonely in a crowded room” not only sounds familiar, but you feel like you are living it. Feeling lonely means that someone is feeling empty, detached, and sadly, without a supportive marriage partner; somebody to talk with, laugh with, and enjoy the experience of needed physical contact. Lonely means that there has been enough disengagement in a relationship so that one or both partners feel alone.

Time together can feel like just a convenience and spouses may feel unwanted or undesirable. Trying to talk about these feelings may result in what feels like not being heard and being pushed to the side. The idea that talking about this experience is not important or that feelings of loneliness are not validated only drives the wedge deeper.

From loneliness.org, “Being married offers no protection from the dangers of loneliness: Studies indicate that roughly 20% of the general population suffers from chronic loneliness at any given time, and in one recent study of older adults, 62.5% of people who reported being lonely were married and living with their partner.” Point well taken here; if you were thinking you are alone in feeling lonely in your marriage, you’re not.

Being in the same room with someone or even something as intimate as sleeping with someone does not mean that you can’t feel lonely. The feelings may have snuck up on you in such a way that you don’t even know the warning signs you may have missed. Consider these warning signs:

• You feel sad when you are with your partner and you have no idea what to say or how to make repairs.

• If it weren’t for the TV, no one would be talking. The house is eerily quiet and questions, like: “How was your day?” are a thing of the past. It seems like your partner wouldn’t care what the answer is anyway.

• Intimate relations of any kind are a rarity. You may have even lost track of the last time you had a real hug, a lengthy kiss, held hands watching TV, or had sex. Receiving heartfelt cards on birthdays and anniversaries are no longer a part of these special days. The relationship just feels empty.

• You look for reasons to be wherever your spouse isn’t. Your friends are your cell phone and maybe a good book.

You may have considered therapy, but the potential for being rejected is so high that cheating on your spouse might seem like a better solution. Sometimes all it takes to break the cycle of marital loneliness is a desire to make a change and sometimes professional help is necessary. Here are some things to try if the list above is a familiar way of living for you:

• Look within you first. Are there behaviors that are different with you, has anything traumatic occurred recently, or have you struggled with addiction? Can you share this selfassessment with your spouse and ask for help? Are you willing to start the process of repairs, making a few changes first?

• Ask for purposeful and planned time with your spouse. Talk about feelings; just yours, and ask if your spouse feels the same way. This is not a time for judgment, blame or dredging up past hurts. This is the here and now and feelings only! If you both are hurting, seek help together or make some plans for what will be different and stick to them. If you are alone in your feelings, let your spouse know what you think you need and let them know that you are willing to see a counselor to help you sort it through. Ask if they will support you as you seek help.

• Model what you want to experience and don’t feel cheated that you are the only one working on the problem. It can take time to bring back feelings of connection. Say what you need. SAY IT! If your needs are fulfilled or your spouse is making an effort, say thank you.

• Make a date night and leave your phone in your pocket! Try a game night. Try a puzzle night. Eat out one night a week. Keep trying things until you hit upon something that was just relaxing and fun. Say thank you.

• Find intimacy in baby steps. Hold hands, give a hug, write “I Love You on the mirror. Be inventive; create a feeling of togetherness whenever you can.

If everything results in nothing, seek help. Look for a marriage therapist who can specialize in what you need. Going together is optimal, but start alone if your spouse is initially unwilling. While this is happening, be kind and be patient to yourself and your spouse. Relationships take time to fall apart and take time to be put back together.

If you or someone you love is in crisis, seek help through a level of care assessment by calling Lake Behavioral Hospital at 855 990 1900. The team at Lake Behavioral is available 24/7/365 by appointment or by walk-in. They work with all insurances, managed Medicaid in Illinois and Wisconsin, and Tri-care. Make a call., they can help.