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Benefit Season Howard Brown Health Center’s “Mad Hatter’s Brunch” on Sunday, Apr. 7 at Zed 451 will feature the Kinsey Sicks, who sold out Mayne Stage at their last two appearances. Menz Room celebrates its first anniversary with a fashion and hair show hosted by Chicago’s very own Cyon Flare. The fundraiser on Saturday, March 23, is a benefit for OVAH!, a youth program of Test Positive Aware Network at Hydrate. ”Oz... And, All Things Great and Powerful!” at Hideaway Night Club on Saturday, March 23 is a cabaret show to raise money for arts education in the Chicagoland area through ArtReach Educational Theatre. Lakeside Pride will play at a Champagne showcase on Tuesday, March 26; at The Center on Halsted the benefit evening also includes delectable drinks, delicious foods, and delightful music.
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You won’t find them in the Bible, but many cherished Easter traditions from the Easter bunny to decorating and hunting for eggs have been around for centuries.
Easter Eggs
Easter is a religious holiday, but some of its customs, such as Easter eggs, can be traced back to pagan traditions celebrating the end of winter and the beginning of a new growing season. From a Christian perspective, Easter eggs are said to represent Jesus’ emergence from the tomb and resurrection. One explanation for this custom is that eggs were formerly a forbidden food during the Lenten season, so people would paint and decorate them to mark the end of the period of penance and fasting, then eat them on Easter as a celebration.
Egg Hunts & Egg Rolling
The event has no religious significance, although some people have considered egg rolling symbolic of the stone blocking Jesus’ tomb being rolled away, leading to his resurrection.
The Easter Bunny
The Bible makes no mention of a rabbit delivering decorated eggs and candy on Easter Sunday; nevertheless, the Easter bunny has become a prominent symbol of Christianity’s holiest holiday. Rabbits are an ancient symbol of fertility and new life, which may relate back to the pagan holidays celebrating the beginning of a new season. The earliest records of the idea of an “Easter Bunny” in America appear in the 1700s with German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania and transported their tradition of an egg-laying hare called “Osterhase”. Their children made nests in which this creature could lay its colored eggs. Eventually, the custom spread
Easter Traditions across the U.S. and the Easter morning deliveries expanded to include candy and gifts, while decorated baskets replaced nests.
Easter Candy
Easter is the second best-selling candy holiday in America, after Halloween. Among the most popular sweet treats associated with this day are chocolate eggs, which date back to early 19th century Europe. Another eggshaped candy, the jelly bean, became associated with Easter in 1930, more than 16 billion jelly beans are made in the U.S. each year for Easter. Since the 1960s, the top-selling non-chocolate Easter candy has been the marshmallow Peep, from Pennsylvania-based candy manufacturer Just Born (founded by Russian immigrant Sam Born in 1923). The original Peeps were yellow chicks, but other shapes and flavors were later introduced, including chocolate mousse bunnies.
Easter Parade
In New York City, the Easter Parade tradition dates back to the mid-1800s, when the upper crust of society would attend Easter services at various Fifth Avenue churches then stroll outside afterward, showing off their new spring outfits and hats. The tradition reached its peak by the mid-20th century, and in 1948, the popular film Easter Parade, starring Fred Astaire and Judy Garland and featuring the music of Irving Berlin was released. In NYC 5th Avenue from 49th to 57th Street is still shut down during the day to traffic. Participants often sport elaborately decorated bonnets. boiMAG
Easter Eggstravganza
Dining Options
It seems as if every hotel and banquet facility in town is trying to lure you in for an overpriced meal on Easter. Check out some of these more unusual options. They may not be that much cheaper, but they’re at least unusual.
Fine Dining Shaw’s Crab House, 21 E. Hubbard; 312-527-2722, features a hot buffet, waffle and omelet stations, a cold seafood bar, a surf and turf station, and a sweet table. $48, free for children 12 and under. Also available at the Schaumburg location, 1900 E. Higgins Rd. The Morton Arboretum, 4100 Illinois Route 53, offers seatings at 9:30 a.m., noon and 3 p.m. and all feature a visit from the Easter bunny. Prices vary by seating time; call 630.968.0074 for more information. At Chez Moi , 2100 N. Halsted, enjoy a special three-course brunch throughout the day, with options such as smoked salmon crepes, steak, eggs Benedict, leg of lamb, chicken crepes or chocolate crepes. For $14, add bottomless mimosas. $29; $14 for children under 10, call 773.871.2100. Skydeck in Willis Tower, 233 S. Wacker. Offers Easter breakfast in the clouds features eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon, fruit, pastries, bagels and more. Take a photo with the Easter Bunny on the ledge. It’s $60; $25 for children ages 3-11; Free for children under 3. Call 312.875.9447
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Kid & Pet Friendly Events Let’s face it; dining out on Easter can be expensive. Try one of these kid or pet friendly events for fun on a budget. Doggie Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday, March 23, at 9 a.m. Oakbrook Terrace Park District, Heritage Center and Heritage Park, 1S325 Ardmore. Bring your leashed dog to the park to search for treats. The event also includes prizes and giveaways, $5. RSVP required, call 630.627.6100. Skate with the Easter Bunny on Saturday, March 23 at 1:30 p.m. Nelson Sports Complex, 3900 Owl Dr. Kids can get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny and go ice skating. 1 p.m. for an Easter egg hunt with candy, $5-$7; $3 for skate rental. Call 847.818.3210 Chicago’s French Market, 131 N. Clinton on Saturday, March 23, at 1:30 p.m. Children of all ages can search for Easter eggs and enjoy a meet-and-greet with the Easter Bunny and it’s free. Call 312.575.0306 for more information. Cantigny Park, 1S151 Winfield Rd., Winfield, on Saturday, March 30, Kids can work on a craft, pet baby animals and search for eggs beginning at 10:30 a.m. Free, call 630.668.5161 Des Plaines History Center, 781 Pearson, offers an opportuity to learn all about Easter traditions and egg decorating at the at 1 p.m. on Easter. It’s only $3 and and a guest from the Polish Museum of America demonstrates Eastern European egg painting. Call 847.391.5399
Holy Moses!
The Story Of Passover By Sheila Kickle
The Jewish holiday of Passover obviously predates Christianity’s Easter tradition, but they are related. DaVinci’s famous painting, “The Last Supper”, actually depicts Jesus and his followers celebrating a traditional Passover meal, a Seder. While not considered the holiest of the Jewish holidays, Passover is still a holiday rich in tradition. The story of Passover recounts how the Hebrews gained their freedom and became the ancestors of the Jewish people. At the end of the biblical book of Genesis, Joseph brings his family to Egypt. Over the following centuries, the descendants of Joseph’s family (the Hebrews) become so numerous that when a new king comes to power he fears what might happen if the Hebrews decide to rise against the Egyptians, so he enslaves them. Despite Pharaoh’s attempt to subdue the Hebrews they continue to have many children. As their numbers grow, Pharaoh comes up with another plan: he will send soldiers to kill all newborn male babies who were born to Hebrew mothers. This is where the story of Moses begins. In order to save Moses from the grisly fate Pharaoh has decreed, his mother and sister put him in a basket and set it afloat on the river. Their hope is that the basket will float to safety and whoever finds the baby will adopt him as their own. Eventually none other than Pharaoh’s daughter finds him. She saves Moses and raises him as her own, so that a Hebrew child is raised as a prince of Egypt.
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When Moses grows up, he kills an Egyptian guard when he sees him beating a Hebrew slave. Then Moses flees for his life, heading into the desert. He becomes a shepherd and one day, while out tending the sheep, Moses meets God in the wilderness. God tells Moses that he has been chosen to free the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt. Soon afterward, Moses returns to Egypt and demands that Pharaoh release the Hebrews from bondage. Pharaoh refuses and as a result, God sends ten plagues upon Egypt: The final plague is the death of the firstborn of every Egyptian family. This is where the Jewish holiday of Passover derives its name, because while the Angel of Death visited Egypt it “passed over” Hebrew homes, which had been marked with lambs blood on the door posts. After the tenth plague Pharaoh relents and releases the Hebrews. The quickly bake their bread, not even pausing for the dough to rise, which is why Jews eat matzo (unleavened bread) during Passover. Another tradition of Passover is the Seder Plate. Passover is a holiday full of ritual symbols that retell the Exodus story. Many of these symbols are displayed on the Seder plate, which is the centerpiece of the Seder table. A Seder is a service held at home that concludes with a dinner. It is always observed on the first night of Passover, and in some homes on the second night as well.
Symbolism of the Seder Plate There are seven symbols that are traditionally found on the Seder plate. Each symbolizes something related to the Hebrews’ exodus from Egypt. They are:
Root Vegetable dates back to a first and second century tradition in Jerusalem that involved beginning a formal meal by dipping vegetables in salt water before eating them. It is sometimes said that the salt water represents the tears Hebrews shed during their years of enslavement. Roasted Shank Bone of a lamb represents the tenth plague in Egypt, when all firstborn Egyptians were killed. The Israelites marked the door posts of their homes with the blood of a lamb as a signal that death should pass over them. Vegetarians will often replace the shank bone with a roasted beet, which has the color of blood. Hard Boiled Egg - there are two interpretations of the symbolism of the hard boiled egg. One is that it is an ancient fertility symbol. The other is that it is a symbol of mourning for the loss of the two Temples, Hard boiled eggs were traditionally the food of mourners and hence they were an appropriate symbol for the loss of these sacred sites. Haroset is a mixture that is often made of apples, nuts, wine and spices. It represents the mortar the Israelites were forced to use while they built structures for their Egyptian taskmasters. Bitter Herbs are eaten in memory of the harshness of slavery. Horseradish is most often used. Bitter Vegetable also symbolizes the bitterness of slavery. Romaine lettuce is often used, although a small bowl of salt water is sometimes used in its place. Oranges are a recent addition to the Seder plate, and not one that is used in every Jewish home. It represents groups that have often been marginalized by society, including women and the GLBT community.
GLBT Welcoming Services AGLO - Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church, 708 W. Belmont, 7-8 p.m. Holy Covenant MCC - 9145 Grant Ave., Brookfield 9 a.m.-noon A Church4Me MCC - United Church of Rogers Park, 1545 W. Morse, 11-12:15 a.m. Dignity, Broadway United Methodist, 3338 N Broadway, 5 p.m. mass. BUMC will also hold “Sunrise Service at the Lake”, 5:30 a.m. assemble at the clock tower of the Marovitz Golf Club (approximately Addison and the Lake) walk the path to the Lake with the congregation. Unitarian Universalist, United Church of Christ, People’s Church, 941 W. Lawrence 10-11:15 a.m. Bodhi Center, a nondenominational spiritual community, 2750 N Magnolia, 9 and 11 a.m. For additional “welcoming congregations”, that, while not specifically GLBT oriented, are supportive of GLBT participation in their congregations, check out chicagowelcomingchurches.org
Passover
Congregation or Chadash-Seder
will be held the second night of Passover, Tuesday, March 26, at the East Bank Club located at 500 N. Kingsbury. Options will be chicken or a new updated vegetarian menu. The cost for members and their guests will be $60.00; for non-members, the cost will be $70.00 for the first night of Passover, the congregation is putting together a match-up of hosts and guests. Contact Seder@ OrChadash.org or call 773.271.2148. Kol Hadash Community-March at 26 4:30, Bluegrass Restaurant, 1636 Old Deerfield Rd., Highland Park. Check out KolHadash.com or call 847347-3003 for more information.
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Our cover model Diego Osorio, nickname Dante, is 24 years old and is single. Here’ are a few questions we asked to try and get to know him a little better.
Where are you originally from?
I was born in Colombia S.A. All my family are from the coffeegrowing region, in the central part of Colombia, but i grew up in a small town called Zarzal close to the Pacific Ocean, where the sugarcane is the primary industry.
What do like to do in your free time?
Going to the movies, shooting pool and in the summer going to the beach, swimming. I also like to do fitness activities in my free time.
Any embarrassing or funny moments you care to share?
When I turned 18, the legal age to be in the club in Colombia, I got drunk and I started dancing on a table around my aunts, uncles and mother.
When did you come to the U.S.? I moved to the U.S. when I was 19 years old and now I live in Lake Forest, Illinois.
What jobs have you worked?
I started my entertaiment carrier in the Group of Theater at the University of Zarzal, when I was 16. It was one of my jobs that I enjoied the most because I have the opportunity to travel with my group all over Colombia, doing theater. The job I didn’t like was the one I had to be in front of this machine for hours grinding corn for my parents small business. Now i work as a nurse assistant and a dancer part time. How did you get into modeling? In Colombia I was part of modeling group and I played music with my friend Santiago Velez who was the singer. When we were on stage, a lot of girls would ask us for autographs and pictures.
What is your favorite food and favorite restaurant?
My favorite food is Mexican and Italian. My favorite restaurant is Francesca’s Restaurant.
Any advice for our readers?
Never give up on your dreams, just keep going.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years from now? I see myself standing on my own, with my master degree in nursing doing a humanitalian related jobs around the world.
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Mary, Mary, How Does Your (Dramatic) Garden Grow?
“L’imitation of Life” at Mary’s Attic
Theater in Bloom
Spring has sprung and so have new productions around town. Hell In A Handbag presents “L’imitation of Life”, adapted by Ricky Graham of Running with Scissors Theater, is at Mary’s Attic in Andersonville, Apr. 4 - May 10. Theo Ubique Cabaret Theatre at No Exit Café in Rogers Park presents Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Aspects of Love, through Apr. 21. Saturdays through March 30, catch “Same Sex, Different Gays: Musical Tales of Relationships” at The pH Comedy Theater on Berwyn in Andersonville. The Midwest premiere of the musical comedy “Improbable Frequency” continues through March 31 at Strawdog Theatre Company on Broadway, as does Writers’ Theatre’s production of Neil Simon/Cy Coleman/Dorothy Fields musical “Sweet Charity,” in Glencoe. Black Ensemble Theater’s “From Doo Wop to Hip Hop” runs through Apr. 24 at the new Black Ensemble Theater Cultural Centre on Clark in Uptown. The circusthemed musical “Barnum”, starring Gene Weygandt as P.T. Barnum, runs Apr. 4-June 16, at the Mercury Theater on Southport in Wrigleyville
Gregg’ Shapiro’s
Theater Scene
The Ruckus Theatre and Tympanic Theatre’s world premiere co-production “Brewed,” by Scott T. Barsotti, is at Theater Wit on Belmont, through March 24. The Midwest premiere of Anthony Del Col and Conor McCreery’s “Kill Shakespeare”, directed by Anderson Lawfer, through March 26 at Strawdog Theatre Hugen Hall on Broadway. Profiles Theatre presents the Midwest premiere of “The Dream of Burning Boy” by West Read, through Apr.14 at Alley Stage on Broadway in Uptown. Sideshow Theatre Company presents the Chicago premiere of “Maria/Stuart” by Jason Grote, March 30 – May 5, at Theater Wit on Belmont. LiveWire Chicago Theatre presents the Chicago premiere of the dysfunctional family drama “A Permanent Image” by Samuel D. Hunter, April 4 – May 5, at The Storefront Theater on Randolph. Of course, there are those early bloomers that continue to thrive. The Porchlight Music Theater production of “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill” at the Beverly Arts Center on W. 111th in Beverly, through March 24. BoHo Theatre presents “Hauptmann” by Chicago playwright John Logan, runs through April 21 at the Heartland Studio in Rogers Park. To continue the metaphor, some new shows are just popping out of the dramatic soil. A Reasonable Facsimile Theatre Company’s main stage production of “A Piece of My Heart” by Shirley Lauro, runs March 29-Apr. 28 at The Cornservatory on Lincoln. Enjoy this veritable garden of earthly dramatic delights, before the bloom fades.
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Passover Dining Rick Karlin Just as Thanksgiving has traditional menu ingredients, turkey, cranberries, pumplin pie, the same is true for Passover. The primary influence on a Passover meal is that Jews do not eat leavened products during Passover week, just as many Catholics don’t eat meat during Lent. Consequently, you won’t find any menu items using bread or flour. Most American Jews extend this prohibition to all grain and bean products, as even rice, plumps when cooked.
Mon Ami Gabi, 2300 N. Lincoln Park West, $36.95 per person, $15.95 for kids 12 and under. Reservations are required. Carry out platters are also available, call 773.348.8886.
Some of the traditional Passover items include, gefilte fish (poached fish pate, usually served with red horseradish), chopped liver, matzo ball soup, and potatoes or carrots. Entrée favorites include roast chicken, braised brisket or grilled fish. Since kosher tradition doesn’t allow for mixing meat and dairy and flour is forbidden, dessert usually consists of stewed fruit or coconut macaroons.
The Bagel, 3107 N. Broadway, 773.477.0300 and 50 Old Orchard Center, Skokie, 847.677.0100. $34 per person, $15 for children under 10, seating at 5:00 and 7:45.
Max’s Deli, 191 Skokie Valley Rd., Highland Park, $27.95 per person, $10.95 for kids 10 and under. Passover catering also available. Call 847.831.0600.
Osteria Via Stato, $39.95 per person, For more reservations, call 312.642.8450
Vegetarians may often opt for a dairy meal, since many meat substitutes are derived from wheat or grains.
Mity Nice, 835 N. Michigan, served family style $36.95 for adults and $16.95 for children 12 and under Call: 312.335.4745.
Among some of the Chicago area restaurants serving traditional favorites on the first two nights of Passover on Monday and Tuesday, March 25 and 26 are the following;
Manny’s Deli, 1141 S. Jefferson, offers, “The Matzo Meal”, available for a minimum of eight people for $23.50 per person. Call 312.939.2855.
Joe’s Prime Steak, Seafood & Stone Crab, 60 E. Grand, $45.95 per person. Reservations are required, call 312.379.5637.
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L Woods, 7111 N. Lincoln, Lincolnwood, $39.95 per person. Reservations are recommended, call 847.677.3350.
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Q&A
Jenny urban
Jenny Urban has helped thousands achieve success in the hospitality industry via her passion for teaching culinary arts. With a focus on social service settings, Urban has worked with refugees, the homeless and underemployed, senior citizens, and the GLBTQ community. Tapping into her love of Tex-Mex and strong coffee in 2008, Urban opened the Urban Café, which was awarded “Best Neighborhood Spot in Lakeview” y Chicago Free Press. Urban has been profiled in a variety of publications including The Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, Time Out Chicago, and “A Recipe for Hope” by Karen Skalitzky, as well as on “PBS NewsHour” She was named one of “30 under 30” by Windy City Times and “30 Women to Watch Under 30” by The Chicago Sun-Times.
When did you come out and what was the experience like for you?
I had the coming out experience that every child deserves. When I was 14, my parents sat me down and told me that they knew I was a lesbian and that I should be proud! They shared with me that I had other relatives that are gay and expressed how important it was for me to vote when I turned 18. “Thank you Mom and Dad!”
Please name five of your GLBT heroes and say a few words about why you chose them.
My top five GLBT heroes are regular, local people who create community in Chicago: Scott Free hosts Homolatte, Alt Q, Bear All and helps numerous queer musicians have a voice. Ripley Caine hosts Cake Chicago and rocks my face off in her band, Ripley Caine and the Full Moon
Chicago Spotlight by Gregg Shapiro
Michelle Fire, owner of Big Chicks and Tweet. Every night of the week you can find queer entertainment in this bar/ restaurant! Sky Cotton, founder of Vespertine, the best underground secret for the late night women’s scene in Chicago. Wendy Jo Carlton, writer/director (“Jamie and Jesse are Not Together” and “Easy Abbey”), tells our stories without selling out. She even uses local GLBT musicians on the soundtracks to her films.
What do you consider to be your most significant contribution to the GLBT community in Chicago and at large?
I am an entertainer! I contribute to my community through food and music. I play the drums with several local queer bands and travel across the country performing in Pride Festivals. In the kitchen, at multiple restaurants I’ve worked with GLBT groups, hosting fundraisers, open mics and cooking classes.
What are your future goals and aspirations? I am a mother of two beautiful girls; I aspire to help create a more tolerant, accepting, supportive world for them to grow up in.
Any words of wisdom to the next GLBT generation?
Don’t ever accept that we have come far enough! Fight, fight, fight and then fight a little more.
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IN THE KNOW . . .
On The Go
Busy, Busy, Busy
But, not Busy Phillips, Wilson Phillips. The folks at NortHalsted Business Alliance (NHBA) scored the singing trio as headliners for this year’s Market Days. Perhaps Carnie Wilson will also have a booth where she can demonstrate her cooking ability that made her a finalist on Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off. Also, word has leaked out that there will be some big changes in this year’s NortHalsted Halloween Parade. It looks like there won’t be a parade, but don’t despair, there will still be festivities of some sort. My sources at NHBA report that parade has gotten too expensive. Instead look for a street party to happen along North Halsted Street between Roscoe and Cornelia. I eavesdropped in a meeting at Town Hall police District headquarters and heard that the party wouldn’t have booths and organizers wouldn’t seek approval to serve alcohol on the streets. No alcohol?!? Where will I get the nerve to march down Halsted in nothing but a thong otherwise?
Dragstravganza
The Baton’s celebrating its 44th Anniversary, Thursday-Sunday, March 21-24 with a series of guest performers. If the bar’s been around 44 years, that must mean that Jim Flint is, what, 123?. He looks damn good for his age, must be all of that Dermablend…Kelly Lauren hosts a new event at Mary’s Attic on Sunday nights The first show features guest artistes, Princess and Honey Brown… Parlour sings, “Thank You For Being a Friend” on Saturday, March 23, with a celebration of all things golden, girls. The Golden Girlsthemed party may, or may not, feature a surprise appearance by Betty White (why not she seems to be everywhere else these days) and a Golden Girls
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fashion runway. Oh, Bea, where did you put those shoulder pads?...Finally, on a sadder note, pageant legend and entertainer Erica Andrews passed away on March 11 after a battle with a lung infection. Andrews won numerous pageant titles, including Miss Gay Texas USofA 1997, Miss Gay USofA 1999, Miss Texas Continental 2001, Miss Florida Continental 2004, Universal Show Queen 2004, Miss Continental 2004, Miss International Queen 2006 and Entertainer of the Year 2006. Our condolences to her family, friends and many fans.
Sweet Music
The svelte and lovely Beckie Menzie and the lovely and svelte Tom Michael perform on Saturday, Apr. 6, at Davenport’s…Deborah Cox is at Roscoe’s on Friday, March 22, performing her hits: “Absolutely Not”, “Easy As Life”, “Beautiful U R”, “Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here” and “House Is Not A Home”…The “Flesh Hungry Dog Show” at Jackhammer on Friday, March 22, will feature Jinx Titanic and Homer Marrs… BEAR ALL a quartet of hot men singing steamy sweaty songs appear at Touche on Saturday, March 23. You can also celebrate Easter at the bar with a beer bust or try stopping in on (Rosy) Palm Sunday for a little spanking. It’s not an organized event, but I’m certain that the bar’s patrons will be happy to oblige you.
What Becomes A Legend Most?
When it comes to Chicago Cubs legend, Ernie “Mr. Cub” Banks, it is speaking out in support of same-sex marriage. Mr. Banks joined other celebrated Chicago athletes in support for extending the freedom to marry to gay and lesbian couples in Illinois in an open letter urging the Illinois House to approve the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act, which has already been approved in the Illinois Senate and has the support of Gov. Pat Quinn.
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IN THE KNOW . . .
On The Go
20th Annual Dining Out for Life Chicago: Now Recruiting Restaurants! EdgeAlliance’s Dining Out for Life celebrates 20 years of helping men, women and children impacted by HIV/AIDS by collaborating with local restaurants on Thursday, April 25. Participating restaurants around the city will donate a portion of their proceeds to EdgeAlliance, allowing its residents to sustain healthy lives. Chicago is one of 60 cities across the United States and Canada participating in the event, making Dining Out for Life the single largest HIV/AIDS benefit in the country! In 2012, more than 80 Chicago restaurants, diners and Volunteer Ambassadors raised more than $125,000! This year, EdgeAlliance hopes to add to its list of esteemed Chicago dining spots and raise $150,000. Restaurants that have already committed include Crew, Taverna 750, Club Lucky, Wilde, Lady Gregory’s, Horizon Café, Andies Restaurant, Bite Café and Halsted’s. For more information on Dining Out for Life, or on how to become a volunteer ambassador (hosting parties at participating restaurants) or to sign up a restaurant for participation, contact Eric Pomajzl, EdgeAlliance Manager of Community & Special Events, at 773.359.0122 or epomajzl@ edgealliance.org. Visit the official Dining Out for Life web site at www. diningoutforlife.com for full details! boiMAG 29
Ask Ace Advice by Ace Magyar
Bruised on Balmoral My boyfriend and I have been going out about six months. Last week he bought a leather paddle and wants me to spank him with it. I don’t want to do it. I’ve never talked to him about it, but my father used to beat me up pretty badly. It was not unusual for him to send me to the hospital a couple of times a year. It’s taken me years of therapy to come to terms with what my father did and the idea of hitting someone, even if he wants me to, sickens me. I really like him, and don’t want to lose him. Dear BoB, You don’t need to offer your boyfriend any explanation other than, “I don’t want to do that.” That should be enough. If he pushes you, maybe he isn’t the right person for you. On the other hand, maybe it would make you feel better to open up and explain exactly why the idea of spanking and S&M does not appeal to you. You survived a horrible childhood and are stronger than you think. Whatever decision you make is right, because it is right for you. Oh, Brother! I love sucking dick anonymously and have been doing so for years. However, something happened last week that has me freaked out. I was in a bookstore stall and the guy in the stall next to me, stuck his dick though. This has happened to me hundreds of times, however, once I started sucking him off, it felt better than any other I had ever done. I even ended up letting him fuck me (bareback) through the glory hole, something I’ve never done before.
After he came, the man zipped up and walked out of his stall quickly. As soon as I cleaned myself up, I followed after him, wanting to connect and possibly see each other again. I’ve never felt this urge before, so I didn’t quite know how to handle it. There was no one else in the bookstore, but I saw the door to the street closing as I left the back room. By the time I got outside, a car was pulling out of the parking space in front of the store. It was my brother-in-law! Now I can’t think of anything else than sucking his dick. Should I tell him? Should I tell my sister? She and her husband are both ultra-religious and I know this would devastate her. Dear OB Normally I would advise you to say nothing, to him or your sister. However, considering the fact that he had unprotected sex changes things. We have to assume that you were not the only one he’s done this with, so you have an obligation to protect your sister’s health. You need to speak to your brother-in-law (privately, of course) and explain that you know he’s been frequenting places for anonymous sex with men. I’m guessing that he will deny it. Say that you saw him leaving the bookstore naming the time and date. Don’t say anything about the fact that you were the one he had sex with. Explain to him that he has put you in an uncomfortable position (so to speak). Don’t allow him to try to talk his way out of it. If you get the feeling that he will continue, then you need to decide how and when to tall your sister. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to have sex with him again. If you find yourself fixating on him, let it be a masturbation fantasy and leave it at that.
Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PHD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com.
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