Benefit Season “An Evening with Paula Poundstone” on Thursday, Apr. 18, at the Hilton will benefit the AIDS Foundation of Chicago.
3712 N. Halsted St. #601 Chicago, IL 60613 773.975.0264
How many lawyers does it take to host a benefit? The Lesbian, Gay Bar Association of Chicago’s champagne brunch on Sunday, Apr. 14 will take place at BIN 36.
EDITORIAL Mike Macharello: Production Rick Karlin: Editor
About Face Theatre’s annual “Wonka Ball: Circus Maximus” will be held on Friday, Apr. 26, at Architectural Artifacts The threering party of colossal entertainment and excessive elegance includes a tempting silent auction, the presentation of the Leppen Leadership Awards and the About Face Youth Theatre MVP Award. “Wonderland”, the Chicago House annual Spring brunch and fashion show will be held on Sunday, May 5 in the Wintergarden Ballroom of the Harold Washington Library. boiMAG
Editorial: boieditorial@aol.com Advertising: boiads@aol.com
layout & design Titanium Graphics, Inc. advertising Freddie: freddie@boiMAGazineChicago.com Dave: dave@boiMAGazineChicago.com photographerS Oliver Aguilar Eamonn Sexton Iggy Munoz, Candymoon Photography editorial contributors Gregg Shapiro, Ace Magyar, Harry Taint, Anita Taylor VIEW boiMAG ONLINE AT:
boiMAGazineChicago.com BOI Magazine, Inc. © 2000−2013
All rights reserved
boiMAG
A MOVING
Experience
certain hours. In many high-rise buildings, you’ll need to reserve the freight elevator. Ask about other specific rules and regulations.
Six Weeks Before Assemble supplies
Buy boxes and other supplies such as tape, bubble wrap, and permanent markers. Don’t forget to order specialty containers, such as dish barrels or wardrobe boxes. Use it or lose it
Start using up things that you don’t want to move, like frozen or perishable foods and cleaning supplies. You may not be able to move mountains, but you can plan an organized move with a little help from this step-by-step time line.
Two Months Before Sort and purge
Go through every room of your house and decide what you’d like to keep and what you can get rid of. Think about whether any items will require special packing or extra insurance coverage. If you are using a state-tostate moving company, be aware that they charge by the pound. It might be cheaper to donate, sell or dispose and then replace many items. Research
Select a company and get written confirmation of your moving date, costs, and other details. Do not rely on a quote over the phone; request an on-site estimate. Get an estimate in writing from each company. Check with friends for references. Golan’s Moving and Aaron’s Movers are both supporters of or community. Create a moving binder
Use this binder to keep track of everything; your estimates, your receipts, and an inventory of all the items you’re moving. Check in with your new home
Some communities only allow deliveries on certain days and during
Take measurements
Check room dimensions at your new home, if possible, and make sure larger pieces of furniture will fit through the door. If moving to an elevator building, find out the dimensions of the elevator and width of hallways.
One Month Before
Choose your mover & Begin packing
Start packing the things that you use most infrequently, such as holiday decorations and specialty pots and pans. While packing, note items of special value that might require additional insurance from your moving company. Label
Clearly label and number each box with its contents and the room it’s destined for. This will help you to keep an inventory of your belongings. Pack and label “essentials” boxes of items you’ll need right away. You might want to color code each box for the room to which it will be delivered. Attaching a list of the contents to each box is helpful when you need to find a specific item. Separate valuables
Add items such as jewelry and important files to a safe box that you’ll (Continued on next page)
boiMAG
A MOVING
Experience
Continued
personally transport to your new home. Make sure to put the mover’s estimate in this box. You’ll need it for reference on moving day. Fill out change of address form
Go to your local post office and fill out a change-of-address form, or do it online at usps.gov. Inform businesses you deal with of your move: banks, brokerage firms, credit card, insurance, and utility companies. Forward medical records If you are moving to a new city, arrange for medical records to be sent to any new health-care providers or obtain copies of them yourself. Ask for referrals. Transfer prescriptions to a new pharmacy, if you use a chain, such as Walgreens or Target, they can do it at your new location.
Two Weeks Before
Arrange time off Notify your office that you plan to supervise the move and therefore need the day off. Prep for your trip If moving to a new area, take your car in for whatverservices might be needed for a long trip. If you’ll be changing banks, remove the contents of your safe-deposit box and put them in the safe box that you’ll take with you on moving day. Reconfirm moving arrangements
Contact the moving company and reconfirm the arrangements.
One Week Before
Refill prescriptions Stock up on prescriptions you’ll need during the next couple of weeks. Pack your suitcases Aim to finish your general packing a few days before your moving date. Then pack suitcases with enough clothes to wear for a few days.
10 boiMAG
Check your food Plan meals so that you use up food you have left.
A Few Days Before
Defrost the freezer If your refrigerator is moving with you, make sure to empty, clean, and defrost it at least
24 Hours Before
Double-check all details Reconfirm the moving company’s arrival time and other specifics and make sure you have prepared exact, written directions to your new home for the staff. Include contact information, such as your cell phone number. Plan for the payment If you haven’t already arranged to pay your mover with a credit card, get a money order or cashier’s check for payment If the staff has done a good job, 10 to 15 percent of the total fee is a good tip. Don’t forget that refreshments are always appreciated. Photograph each box and piece of furniture You might not need it, but it’s good to have a photographic record.
Moving Day
Verify everything Call to check on the estimated arrival time of your movers. Make sure that the moving truck that shows up is from the company you hired: The USDOT number painted on its side should match the number on the estimate you were given. Scams are not unheard-of. Take inventory Before the movers leave, sign the bill of lading/inventory list and keep a copy. Assemble all essential information Have a bag or box you move yourself that contains the moving contracts and inventory of what you’re moving, important personal papers (passports, wills, etc) and, of course, the keys to your new place.
QUICK AND EASY
DECORATING
FIXES
By Anita Taylor
The problem with many apartments is that they’re generic. You can personalize your space easily, but if you’re renting you don’t want to spend too much money on a place that isn’t yours. Your property owner will also want you to restore the space to the same condition it was before you moved in (even if you think it’s an improvement, your property owner may not think so). Here are some easy fixes that are just as easy to remove should you decide to move on. It’s Curtains For You
Inexpensive drapery panels can hide a multitude of sins, and they don’t need to be used just to block an ugly view. If the windows are mismatched, cover an entire wall with drapery panels. If the plaster walls are in bad shape, cover them with fabric. Screw a small strip of wood (a 1”x2”) along the top of the wall, near the ceiling. Do the same along the bottom, just above the floor molding. You can have the people at the lumberyard cut boards to the exact length (they usually only charge a few cents for each cut). Buy inexpensive muslin or a printed fabric. Fold the cut side under and staple along the board. Cut the fabric slightly longer than the length you need to reach the bottom board. Pull taut, fold the cut side under and staple to the bottom piece of wood. When it’s time to move, just take down the 1”x2” pieces of wood, fill the holes with a little patching plaster and everything will look good as new.
12 boiMAG
If you want to hang pictures, simply use wires to suspend the pictures from nails in the top board. Fan Club
Hate the ugly ceiling fan in your room. Simply remove the blades (easy to do with a screwdriver), scrub them down (you’ll be amazed at how greasy and dirty they are). Trace the blade to make a template, transfer to Contac paper, and trace at least 1” larger than the fan. Peel and stick the Contac paper, wrapping the excess around to the top of the blade. Poke holes through the paper where the screws go, reattach to the fan and enjoy your one of a kind statement. You can also use window cling (see below) to dress up a blade easily. You Light Up My Life
Hate the light fixtures in your house? Changing them out is not as difficult as you think, and the results can be quite dramatic. You can find instructions on how to change a light
fixture on-line, but it basically boils down to detaching the old fixture (most use simple screws to hold them in place) unattaching the wires (power to the fixture off first), attaching the new wires and affixing the fixture. Most fixtures can by change din less than 30 minutes. Check out some of the dramatic light fixtures at Fox Lighting. Hate the View?
Now that Joy Behar’s leaving we don’t blame you, but we’re not talking about the TV show, we’re talking about the view out of one of your windows! Head over to Home Depot or Lowe’s and look for the window cling sheets (usually in the same aisle as window shades). These peel and stick sheets come in translucent, frosted and varieties made to look like stained glass. There are even leaded glass looking options when you just want to add architectural interest. Paint
Most apartments are painted with boring colors. Painting is one of the cheapest ways to transform a room. Try doing an accent wall in a dark shade, you can always repaint it white before you move. If you’ve one of those apartments with a long, narrow hallway, here’s a trick to make it look larger. Paint one wall one shade lighter or darker than the other. Look at the paint strips and pick two adjacent colors. It’s subtle enough that it’s not noticeable, but it actually makes the hallway seem much wider. Short on Storage
Buy an inexpensive bookcase, and attach a spring-tension drapery rod to the inside of the bookcase and hang inexpensive curtains down the front of the bookcase or wooden roll-up blinds and you have instant hidden storage space. For an entire wall of storage, use the same technique, except use the brackets for closet rods attach them to the top of the bookcases and hang the curtains along the entire wall.
Ugly Tile Floors?
If your bathroom has ugly tile floors, hid them with thick luxurious carpet. Carpet in the bathroom, you say? Yes. Head over to a carpet liquidator and buy a remnant the approximate size of your bathroom. Line it up at the doorway unroll it, cutting away excess and trimming around fixtures with a razor knife. If you choose a high pile carpet, it will hide any little mistakes you make, you can even put down patches. About every two weeks pull up the carpet, flip it over and let it air our overnight. Even with an expensive carpet, it won’t cost much to do a typical apartment sized bathroom, so you can replace it when necessary.
RENTERS TOOL KIT Everybody should have a tool kit to take care of little repairs. You needn’t spend a fortune, and can usually fine good kits at home improvement stores. Each kit should have: A lightweight claw hammer, a rigid tape measure (at least 8 feet long), pliers, a utility knife, a set of Allen wrenches, at least two screwdrivers, a Phillips (pointy) and a flat- head. Two other gadgets that are essential for your tool kit are a torpedo level and a stud finder. Of course, every home should have a rechargeable flashlight. boiMAG 13
14 boiMAG
FINDING YOUR PLACE IN
CHICAGO!
By Anita Taylor
If you’re new to the city, here are some helpful resources, apps, and web sites for Chicago newbies to help you get settled in and acting like a true Chicagoan in no time! If you’re looking for an apartment, combing through classifieds in newspapers and on-line can be time consuming. There are many apartment finding services and most don’t charge a fee, other than a for a credit check. It’s a simple as 1-2-3. First, fill out an application with an apartment service that will secure the apartment. Second, confer with a leasing agent to discuss your price range, what neighborhoods appeal to you and your preferences. Third, hit the street with your agent, who will drive you around your ideal neighborhood and guide you through the selected apartments. Everything you ever wanted to know (and probably more!) about Chicago can be found on the City of Chicago’s web page, cityofchicago.org. If you are brave enough to keep your car, get a city sticker fast, the ticket for not having one is expensive. Don’t forget that in many neighborhoods, you’ll need a residential zone parking permit, and you can’t get those unless you have a city sticker. Check out the basics at chicityclerk.com/city-stickers-parking. Chicago has neighborhood pride. One of the first things you’ll discover when you meet people is that they will ask you, “What neighborhood do you live in?” (Okay, so we tend to end sentences in prepositions). Take a minute to check out the Chicago neighborhood map and get familiar with the city. This map is a staple for apartment decor in Chicago. So be sure and get yours, and learn the neighborhoods! You can order one at orkposters.com. If you need to know how to get from point A to point B on public transportation, the CTA Trip Planner will be a lifesaver. Simply type in where you are and where you want to go (they have many Chicago hot spots already programmed in for your convenience) and it will tell you how to get their by bus or train. GoogleMaps also offers this feature, when you’re searching for directions, tell Google you want to get there via public transportation on your phone. The CTA also has a number of apps
18 boiMAG
available, including Bus Tracker (ctabustracker.com) which lets you know just how long it will take for your bus to arrive. The Bus Tracker app is incredibly reliable, letting you know within minutes the time a bus will arrive at any stop. If you’ve opted to embrace the urban life and ditched your car, Zipcar can help you get wheels when you need them. Zipcar has cars and ZipVans you can rent by the hour or the day when you need to get around the city or make a trek to IKEA in the suburbs. For a complete list and information on joining Zipcar, go to its web site zipcar.com. When you need to ride in style, look to Uber or Chicago Daily Luxury. Service provides rides in town cars, limos and luxury cars often at not much more than you’d pay for taxi rates. Check out the specifics at uber.com or call CDL at 773-651-5672. When you want to know what’s going on around town, check out some of the food and entertainment web sites. Metromix (metromix.com/ chicago), offers articles and information on events around the city. However, it does not provide links to the covered event/business web site. For that go to Yelp! (yelp.com/chicago).If you don’t feel like cooking check out GrubHub (grubhub.com ) for a list of places that deliver to you. For staying up-to-date, there are a few essential publications. Of course boiMAG (boiMAGazineChicago.com) is your ultimate guide to the GLBT community and events. For more mainstream info, check out the Chicago Tribune’s Red Eye either in print or on-line at redeyechicago.com. TimeOut Chicago will soon cease print publication, but will still be available at timeoutchicago.com. StubHub.com is great when you need hard to get tickets, such as an end-of-season Cubs game or a sold-out concert. If you’re looking for deals on goods and services, there’s Chicago-based Groupon.com, but for entertainment options sign up for GoldStar.com. Whether you are new to Chicago, or a native, an apartment-finding service or realty company specializing in rentals can be a huge help. Usually there is no charge to the renter, only a small credit-check fee. Three of the leaders in the industry are Planned Property Mangement (ppmapartments.com), Apartment People (apartmentpeople.com) and Chicago Apartment Finders (chicagoapartmentfinders.com)..
boiMAG 19
Dinner Theater Rick’s Big Bite
Chicago’s restaurants are preparing to kick off summer with the perfect patio options. When it finally arrives, bask in the warm sunshine while enjoying seasonally inspired cuisine al fresco. Here are some of the places we’re most looking forward to relaxing at... Ada Street at 1664 N. Ada, features outdoor ping-pong and a woodburning fire place. Bistronomic at 840 N. Wabash, has big plans to unveil a completely revamped patio for the 2013 season. The Boarding House at 720 N. Wells, welcomes its first summer with an expansive patio. Boka at 1729 N. Halsted has a quaint, shaded outdoor area and is ideal intimate dinners or group parties under the stars. Café Selmarie at 4729 N. Lincoln has perhaps the most European style outdoor café space, which goes perfectly with the European style pastries, food, espresso, coffee, beer and wine. The Gage at 24 S. Michigan is good if you don’t mind the Michigan Avenue traffic, fumes and noise, you’ll be rewarded with a great view of Millennium Park and terrific Irish inspired dishes. The Terrace at Trump at 401 N. Wabash is pricey, but the 16th floor oasis has unobstructed views of the Chicago River and its famed bridges, The Wrigley Building clock tower, and the lake, as well as the fireworks displays at Navy Pier, it may well be worth the price. Wave at 644 N. Lake Shore Drive is at the lake front W Hotel and the restaurant offers unobstructed views of the lake. However, the real secret here is hotel’s 7th floor wet deck, available for private events for drinks and light bites and a bird’s eye view of the city’s skyline, lake and Navy Pier.
by Rick Karlin & Gregg Shapiro
Gregg’s Theater Scene
Musical experiences and premieres abound this spring. Based on the movie of the same name, the musical “Catch Me If You Can” runs through Apr. 14 at the Palace Theater. The latest jukebox musical from Black Ensemble Theater, “From Doo Wop to Hip Hop” runs through Apr. 24. Drury Lane Theatre Oakbrook Terrace, presents the Tony Award-winning musical “Oliver!”, Apr. 11 through June 2 while the Tony Award-winning musical “Monty Python’s Spamalot”, plays through May 4, at the Jedlicka Performing Arts Center in Cicero. The circusthemed musical “Barnum”, starring Gene Weygandt as P.T. Barnum, runs through June 16, at the Mercury Theater. Premieres pop up all over the area this spring. Inspired by the “Book of Job”, Steppenwolf’s world premiere production of “Head of Passes” by gay ensemble member Tarell Alvin McCraney (“The Brother/Sister Plays”), runs through June 9. Victory Gardens will present the Midwest premiere of the gay-themed play “The Whale” through May 5, at the Biograph. Profiles Theatre’s Midwest premiere of “The Dream of Burning Boy” by West Read runs through Apr.14 at Alley Stage. Sideshow Theatre presents the Chicago premiere of “Maria/Stuart” through May 5, at Theater Wit. Livewire Chicago presents the Chicago premiere of the dysfunctional family drama “A Permanent Image”, through May 5, at the Storefront Theater on Randolph. Red Orchid also presents a Chicago premiere, “In a Garden”, which runs through may 19. The world premiere of “Still Alice”, based on the novel by Lisa Genova, runs May 19, at Lookingglass Theatre. Extensions are for more than just hair! The world premiere of the revised version of “Columbinus,” written by Stephen Karam and PJ Paparelli, has been extended through Apr. 10, at American Theater Company and Court theatre extends its production of David Auburn’s Pulitzer Prizewinning “Proof”, through Apr. 14.
boiMAG 21
22 boiMAG
Chicago Spotlight Q&A
PATé
Gay writer Michael Beaumier has this to say about Paté: “You know her, you love her, but do you truly worship her? Of course you do. There is only one Paté, and she’s enough, even in this world filled with ugliness and heartache. In a world that is filled with flashes in the pan. Pate’ proves that beauty can go clean to the bone.” What many don’t know about Pate, who describes herself as “a straight shooting, skirt chasing, lip twitching, symphonic punk”, is that in addition to her bartending abilities, this woman devotes much of her time and energy to help rescue abandoned pets, providing foster care and helping find them new homes. She presently provides service with sass and style at Parlour. When did you come out and what was the experience like for you? While I never officially came out at any particular time, in a sense, I was always “out”. I was already enjoying the spoils of girls in high school! Barely out of my teens, I attended the annual Chicago Pride Parade and was handed the opening banner to carry! I thought it would be fun. An understatement! The next day, however, I was greeted in the kitchen of my parents’ home with my mother wielding a frying pan due to my appearance on page 2 of the Chicago Sun Times! There I was! Little punk rock Paté in the paper at the queer parade! Luckily, Mama settled down from her initial hysteria and my family has always been accepting of my chosen ways. I was one of the lucky ones in that respect. Please name five of your GLBT heroes and say a few words about why you chose them. David Bowie- His style, music,
charm and distinctive manner spoke profoundly to me in my youth, on a level that, for me, was heroic indeed. I admired that while some considered him a “freak”, if you will, he was and is, a talented, gracious, well-spoken man. He showed me that true artistry need not show up looking like the status quo. Lili St. Cyr- Also referred to as “The Wolf Woman”. She was one of the legendary, grass roots performers of the striptease. Perhaps not seen as the stereotypical hero, nonetheless, she is to me. She too, had to battle the stigma of what a “proper” woman should be, and rather than behaving accordingly, she lived her life as she chose. Although she was married to six different men, it was rumored she also had affairs with women. She is hugely influential on the rebirth of burlesque today and was a unique and brave woman in her time. Not too hard on the eyes either! Gore Vidal- Self-described as “The Gentleman Bitch”, Vidal always rejected the terms “Homosexuality” and “Heterosexuality” as he thought them to be inherently false. This spoke volumes to me when I was younger, and still does. He was an early champion of sexual liberation, fought for his country in WWII, and, while many disputed his views, he was a true patriot. His brilliant wit and stunning literary accomplishments have always been a source of inspiration, and most certainly of entertainment for me. (Continued on next page)
boiMAG 23
Chicago Spotlight Continued
Lord Byron- “I am such a mélange of good and evil, it would be difficult to describe me.” I felt as if he was speaking to me directly! Considered one of the greatest British poets, he wears the crown when it comes to the works of the Romantic Movement. While I am decidedly single, I am at heart, the truest of romantics. Reading Byron has always been a sublime exercise for me! He had liaisons with both men and women, lived to excess, won and lost fortunes, and was considered sexually scandalous in his time. Once again, while an unlikely one, he is a hero for me. Decadence does not negate brilliance. Rob Halford- Openly gay front man of heavy metal band Judas Priest. Need I say more? What do you consider to be your most significant contribution to the GLBT community in Chicago and at large? This is difficult, as I’m uncertain of my significance, nor am I one to really toot my own horn. I have never been a big flag waver (other than that parade!) though I support our community wholeheartedly. We all have our causes, and where our interests and passions lie are uniquely individual. I can tell you that I have been actively involved in Dog Rescue & Adoption for many years, and find it extremely rewarding. The dogs have rescued me, as many times as I have rescued them and there is a sincere and mutual devotion that exists between us. The canine-human relationship is a fascinating one and I have been blessed with the good fortune to reside in the pleasure of their company. As far as contributing to the community at large? I guess I
24 boi
have provided an ear that listens, a heart that cares, a voice for the underdog, an occasional rumble on a bar room floor for the bullied, and the entertaining telling of tales alongside tasty cocktails! This, from my many years of service behind the bar!
What are your future goals and aspirations? To live it up. To taste the fruit. To ride the wave, and do good. Words of wisdom to the next GLBT generation. Be inspired. You may find inspiration in the simplest of things. It need not be politically motivated or a “save the world” event unless that is what moves you. Seek out your own voice. Shout from the rooftops, or whisper into the wind. Stand strong. Liberate yourselves. Find your beauty, your passion, your rebellion. Take pride in your accomplishments however small they may seem to you, for to someone or something else, they may seem like the moon and the stars. Drive fast and forward with your desires, but along the way, make sure to stop and smell the roses. Break the rules with good reason. Be wild. Be kind. Be generous. Love whomever you choose, if you choose. Enjoy the ride!
boiMAG 25
boiMAG 27
In The Know
ON THE GO
Parade Patter
Richard Pfeiffer, head of the Pride Parade committee, has confirmed that the 2013 Pride Parade will follow the same route as it did in 2012. That means lineup will begin on Broadway at Montrose. Older readers may remember when the lesbian bar in Chicago, Paris Dance, was just a few steps away from that intersection. On a related note, to help ease congestion in Boystown, for the first time Pride Fest will take place the weekend before the parade, and it will be a 2-day affair, Saturday and Sunday June 22-23. However, the Parade remains the last Sunday of the month.
Who Likes A Big Package?
Certainly the guys in CGMC who will be dropping their drawers for special guest hostess, Miss Richfield 1981, as the chorus holds its 5th annual “Big Package Auction” on Saturday, Apr. 20, at Sidetrack.
And Big Balls?
The Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame will hold its annual “Celebrity Bowl” on Saturday, Apr. 20, at Waveland Bowl, 3700 N. Western. For additional information,
call 773.769.5115.
Lesbian Alert! It’s spring and that means that the lesbians are coming out of hibernation. You can expect many sightings in the coming months. For example; Cuna Chicago, 1113 W. Belmont will host a Black Jack singles mixer for lesbians on Saturday, Apr. 20. There will be light appetizers, custom drink specials and a fun icebreaker game. Ironically, it’s for those 21 and over… “4 Play Fridays” is a hot new gathering place for lesbians, at EM Lounge, 4247 W. Armitage, a gay owned and operated business… Mary Driver Thiel will be reading from her new book “The World Undone” on Sunday, Apr. 7, at Women & Children First Books.
Street Talk
Fans and friends (and those categories will certainly overlap) of the late performer, Rudy de la Mor will gather for a tribute on Sunday afternoon (3:00), Apr. 7, at Club 3160. “A Celebration of Life, remembering Rudy de la Mor through Music and Word.” Bring your quarters and festive hats… Jan Slavin and Carla Gordon salute Jewish women songwriters with music by Carole King, Dorothy Fields and Betty Comden at Davenport’s on Apr. 21 & 28 with musical direction by the incomparable Beckie Menzie... Don’t get confused by this, but there is a Halsted Tasting at Andersonville Wine & Spirits on Saturday, Apr. 13, from 3-6 p.m. No, Andersonville and Boystown haven’t suddenly merged, it’s a tasting for Halsted Vodka, which bills itself as “The Spirit of the Gay Community”… You are planning to stop in at the GLBT Travel expo, May 3, aren’t you? The event, being held at The Center On Halsted coincides with the gay travel agents association convention, so it should be fabulous… Elevate your spirits every Thursday at Hunters with DJ John Murges and Hot Extream Dancers, it’s the place to be in Elk Grove!… It’s the battle of the bulge at The Ram for its “Big D*ck” (the only thing missing is I) contest on Friday, Apr.26. If you think it’s not that big, there’s also a second place prize.
Benefit Season
Support the Broadway Youth Center and youth programming at Howard Brown Health Center at the “Mad Hatter’s Brunch” on Sunday, Apr. 7, at ZED 451. The festive afternoon encourages guests to wear zany and outrageous hats while enjoying a lavish buffet. The nationally recognized musical and comedy revue, The Kinsey Sicks, America’s Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop quartet, will be the featured entertainment. For further information on this event, call 773.572-5117. boiMAG 29
ASK ACE Advice by Ace Magyar
Dog Tired I bought the cutest little golden retriever puppy. It’s now one year later and this dog is ruining my life. I can’t go out to the bars and meet anyone because I have to go home and walk the dog (or have it destroy my carpeting). When I come home from work and let him out of his cage, he’s always bugging me when all I want to do is relax. There is hair all over everything. I can’t go away on vacation because I can’t afford a vacation for me and his kennel fees. I’m thinking of taking him to the pound but I feel guilty about it. Am I right to give him away? Dear DT, When you adopt (not buy) a pet you make a commitment to it. Obviously, you weren’t ready for that commitment. Rather than “give him away” to a pound, see if you can find a home for him. Put something up on Facebook and let everyone know that you can’t take care of your dog. Guilt or shame shouldn’t enter in to this, you were not made aware of the commitment it takes to raise a dog. That’s why adopting through a shelter is always better than buying from a pet store. A shelter will (or should) evaluate your reasons for adopting a dog and whether you are ready for the commitment it takes. If you notice the word commitment coming up often, it is because it is a commitment, plain and simple. It is a commitment for years, not a few weeks of puppy cuteness, which wears off. If trying to find the dog a home through Facebook and your contacts doesn’t work, contact a Golden Retriever rescue organization in your area (see goldheart.org for a list of resources). Any pet adoption should be well thought out, there are too many animals given to shelters or just thrown away every year. Hair Today My husband has a comb over and it’s disgusting. At first, he just sort of combed his hair over a thinning spot, then next thing I knew he has a full-blown comb over. It’s like it appeared out of nowhere. How can I tell him he’s not fooling anyone?
Dear HT, When does disguising a thinning spot become a comb-over? I asked our style maven Anita Taylor for her take on it. “It becomes a comb-over the minute anybody other than your barber notices it. If those sitting close to you barely notice, you’re on the borderline, but once you have to use any product to keep it from waving in the breeze, it’s time to face it and take action,” Anita reports. “Some people try to grow their hair longer to compensate, that rarely works. In fact, it makes the bald or thinning spot more prominent. Cutting the hair, very short or shaving the head completely actually makes the bald spot less prominent.” He’s your husband you owe it to tell him. Of course, don’t say, “Your comb over is disgusting, you’re not fooling anybody.” Put it gently, say, “Honey, I noticed that you were combing your hair over that thinning spot. It’s gotten to the point now that it’s more than just a thinning spot. I think you’re handsome either way, why not just embrace it?” Change in the Air My wife and I have been together almost 20 years, we met soon after college. During that time we’ve had a very active sex life and I have loved performing oral sex on her. Lately though, it’s not quite so pleasant. She has developed quite an odor “down there”. She doesn’t have a yeast infection; she douches regularly and is otherwise as clean smelling as usual. I’ve avoided this as long as I can. What can I say to her? Dear CITA, Exactly what you’ve said to me. Since you and your wife have been together 20 years, she may be entering menopause, it’s not unheard of for it to happen in her 40s. She may also have other medical issues. Whenever any of our bodily excretions change drastically, it is cause to visit the doctor. Have your wife explain the situation with her gynecologist. She (or he) will likely run some tests. It could be a simple as a change in diet or something more serious, but it’s always better to have it checked out rather than avoid saying something because it’s awkward.
Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PHD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com.
30 boiMAG