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On The Cover Fashion Designer and Project Runway All Stars winner Mondo Guerra, is teaming up with Dining Out for Life as its newest spokesperson and is selling his limited edition “Movers & Shakers” T-shirt to benefit 60 participating AIDS service organizations. Mondo revealed his HIV positive status on season eight of Project Runway. “I was so afraid of the backlash and how people were going to react (about my HIV-positive status), because I hadn’t talked about it for ten years, but there was this outpouring of love and support from the community at large. I really felt like it was my responsibility to continue this conversation on HIV/ AIDS and that is why I have become an advocate for the cause.” Mondo’s limited edition T-shirt is on sale at the Dining Out for Life web site and at subarugear. com. The $25 shirt is available in a ladies v-neck and men’s crew neck, in sizes small thru 2XL. Guerra, who disclosed his HIV-positive status on Project Runway, has become a prominent advocate for the fight against HIV/AIDS.
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EDITORIAL Mike Macharello: Production Rick Karlin: Editor layout & design Titanium Graphics, Inc. advertising Freddie: freddie@boiMAGazineChicago.com Dave: dave@boiMAGazineChicago.com photographerS Oliver Aguilar Eamonn Sexton Iggy Munoz, Candymoon Photography editorial contributors Gregg Shapiro, Ace Magyar, Harry Taint, Anita Taylor VIEW boiMAG ONLINE AT:
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Dining out
for life
EdgeAlliance’s Dining Out for Life celebrates 20 years of helping men, women and children impacted by HIV/AIDS by collaborating with local restaurants on Thursday, April 25. Participating restaurants around the city will donate a portion of their proceeds to EdgeAlliance, allowing its residents to sustain healthy lives. Chicago is one of 60 cities across the United States and Canada participating in the event, making Dining Out for Life the single largest HIV/AIDS benefit in the country!
In 2012, more than 80 Chicago restaurants, diners and volunteer ambassadors raised more than $125,000. This year, EdgeAlliance hopes to add to its list of esteemed Chicago dining spots and raise $150,000. A list of participating restaurants begins on page 12. For more information on Dining Out for Life, or on how to become a volunteer ambassador (hosting parties at participating restaurants) or to sign up a restaurant for participation, contact Eric Pomajzl, EdgeAlliance Manager of Community & Special Events, at 773.359.0122 or e-mail; epomajzl@ edgealliance.org. Visit the official Dining Out for Life web site at www.diningoutforlife.com for more details.
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Dining OUt For Life PARTICPANTS
B=Breakfast, L=Lunch, D=Dinner 312 Chicago Any Meal 312. 696.2420 Acre 773.334.7600 Dinner Andies Restaurant 773.784.8616 Any Meal Angelina Ristorante 773. 935.5933 Dinner Ann Sather 773.348.2378 Breakfast, Lunch Anna Maria Pasteria 773.506.2662 Dinner Anteprima 773.506.9990 Dinner Atwood Cafe Any Meal 312.368.1900 Avenue Tavern 773. 975.7000 Dinner The Bagel, Lakeview Any Meal 312.477.0300 The Bagel, Skokie 847.677.0100 Any Meal Baker & Nosh Any Bakery Item 773. 989.7393 Berghoff Restaurant 312.427.3170 Dinner Big Jones 773. 275.5725 Dinner Bistronomic Lunch, Dinner 312. 944.8400 Bite Cafe 773.395.2483 B, L, D, Late Night Blackbird 312.715.0708 Dinner Blokes & Birds 773.472.5252 Dinner Bluegrass Lunch, Dinner 847.831.0595
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Boadway Cellars 773.944.1208 Dinner Bowntrout 773.472.4111 Any Meal Carnivale 312.850.5005 Dinner Ceres’ Table 773.878.4882 Dinner The Chicago Diner 773.935.6696 Any Meal Club Lucky Lunch, Dinner 773.227.2300 Connie’s Pizza 312.326.3443 Dinner Crew Bar & Grill Lunch, Dinner 773.784.2739 Cucina Paradiso 708.848.3434 Dinner Custom House Tavern Any Meal 312.523.0200 D.S. Tequila Comapny 773.697.9127 Dinner Deleece 773.325.1710 Dinner Deleece Grill 773.348.3313 Dinner El Mariachi 773.549.2932 Dinner Epic 312.222.4940 Dessert Fiorentino’s 773.244.3026 Dinner Fiorenza Ristorante 708.366.1400 Dinner Francesca’s Byn Mawr Lunch, Dinner 773.506.9261 Francesca’s Forno Lunch, Dinner 773.770.0184 Francesca’s on Chestnut Lunch, Dinner 312.482.8800 Francesca’s on Taylor Lunch, Dinner 312.829.2828 Growling Rabbit 773.654.1444 Any Meal Halsted’s Bar & Grill 773.348.9696 Dinner (Continued on the following page)
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Continued . . .
Hamburger Mary’s 773.784.6969 , L, D, Late Night HB Home Bistro 773.661.0299 Dinner Hearty Restaurant 773.868.9866 Dinner Horizon Cafe 773.883.1565 Dinner Jack’s on Halsted 773.244.9191 Dinner Jin Ju 773.334.6377 Dinner Kilwins Chicago 312.654.1962 Dessert Lady Gregory’s 773.271.5050 Dinner Las Manañitas 773.528.2109 Dinner Leopold 312.348.1028 Dinner Longman & Eagle 773.276.7110 Dinner Magnolia Cafe 773.728.8785 Dinner Mia Francesca 773.281.3310 Dinner Minibar 773.871.6227 Dinner Nookies Edgewater 773. 516.4188 Dinner OmBa 773.506.8600 Dinner Palette Bistro 773.477.2565 , Dinner Ping Pong 773.281.7575 Dinner Prosecco 312.951.9500 Lunch, Dinner Sable Kitchen and Bar 312.755.9704 Dinner Salpicon 312.988.7811 Dinner Signature Room at the 95th 312.787.9596 Dinner
Sola Restaurant 773. 327.3868 Dinner South Water Kitchen 312. 236.9300 Dinner Southport and Irving 773.857.2890 Dinner Spacca Napoli 773.878.2420 Lunch, Dinner Tank Sushi 773. 769.2600 Dinner Taverna 750 773.904.7466 Dinner
The Bagel 773.477.0300 Any Meal Topper’s Pizza 312.226.6664 Dinner Tuscany OakBook 630.990.1993 Lunch, Dinner Uncommon Ground 773.465.9801 Dinner Via Veneto 773.267.0888 Any Meal Vincent Restaurant 773.334.7168 Dinner Vivere 312.332.4040 D, L Wakamono 773.296.6800 Dinner Wilde Bar & Restaurant 773.271.5050 Dinner Zapatista 773.525.4100 Lunch, Dinner boiMAG 15
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WHATZ hot in
haute cuisine by Anita Taylor
In the words of Bon Appetit Magazine, “Blondies are the new brownies. Chickens, beware!” According to the magazine, here are a few other things you need to know about trends in the food world this year.
Grapefruit’s New Main Squeeze The Paloma, not the Margarita, is Mexico’s most beloved cocktail, and it’s making its way north of the border. Basic versions contain nothing more than tequila, grapefruit-flavored soda (Jarritos is the brand of choice, but yes, Fresca will work), and ice.
Egg-Travganza
Chefs are moving out of the henhouse, ditching chicken eggs in favor of their larger—and tastier siblings: duck eggs. They’re also available at farmers’ markets, some Whole Foods Market stores or duckeggs.com.
Bird is the Word
The humble chicken has become the sole reason for a restaurant’s existence. Now that better-raised, better-tasting birds are more available, big-deal backers like Jean-Georges Vongerichten (Simply Chicken) are opening concepts. In Chicago, check out Pecking Order, serving up Filipino-style grilled, fried, and roast chicken
Home Culture
Greek was the darling of the active culture-obsessed crowd. What’s yogurt’s next move? A home invasion. Homemade yogurt is creamier and less tangy than the store-bought stuff. Plus, despite all those counter-hogging devices you’ve seen, it requires no special equipment to make; just a little patience.
Adios Big Mac
The cemita, from the Mexican state of Puebla, joins the bahn mi, cubano, and panino as the new sandwich favorites. Check it out at Cemitas Puebla.
Adios Siracha
Siracha’s got competition from the Korean chile paste, gochujang. The spicy condiment is catching fire outside of Koreatown. Dab it on egg sandwiches or sliders, toss with chicken wings, or try it in the bibimbop. At Korean grocery stores or order Sunchang Gochujang, $14 for 500g, at Amazon.com.
The Good Tea Party
Tea is the new coffee, complete with equipment, techniques, and tons of varieties to nerd out over.
Smoking Food Is Cool, Again
Thanks to Cameron’s Stovetop Smoker ($44, mysecretpantry.com), smoking ingredients at home is simple. The easy to use tool is not just for smoking meat or fish, try smoking your own salt and spices to use in rubs. Nuts or vanilla beans benefit from smoking as well.
Get Crabs
While lobster and shrimp will always be popular, the hot new ingredient is Dungeness crab. America are tossing it with pasta, piling it on grilled toast, even smoking it.
Hottest Thing Since Sliced Bread
Is, well, bread. Bread that’s so good that it gets its own course, like the sourdough fried in pork fat and served with house-made butter at Matthew Lightner’s Atera in New York. Check out Bread & Wine, 3734 West Irving Park.
Blondes Have More Fun
Forget the brownie, its blondies that are gaining traction. One of the newest recipes is one with a salty, sweet, chewy, and crunchy topping, decked with pretzels, peanuts, and caramel. boiMAG 19
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Dinner Theater Rick’s Big Bite “The Brunch Bunch” One great thing about spring is that the weather is finally pleasant enough that going out the morning after a night at the clubs doesn’t feel like torture. Well, except for the hangover. But, that’s why God created brunch and She has graced us with some new and revamped brunch spots to entice you out of doors to meet friends and socialize over yummy food. The legendary Pump Room at The Public Chicago (1301 N. State Parkway, 312.229.6740) has just initiated a new weekend brunch menu. Brunch is available on Saturday and Sunday. Smoke Daddy (1804 W. Division, 773.772.6656) famous for its slow-cooked meats and housemade sauces, introduced its new “Southern Brunch” mid-month and it’s taken off like gangbusters. All the expected dishes of a southern brunch are in place, including pulled pork Benedict, fried peanut butter & banana sandwich, iron skillet corn bread, smoked brisket hash and, of course, biscuits & gravy. Available Saturday and Sunday At The Monarch (1745 W. North, 773.252.6053) former Graham Elliot chef Andrew Brochu puts his spin on comfort food classics such as biscuits and gravy and chilaquiles made with duck confit instead of the traditional chicken. The Vlad
by Rick Karlin & Gregg Shapiro
the Impaler Bloody Mary) is made with vodka infused with cracked, panroasted peppercorn and garnished with sweet and spicy Hungarian pickles. Served on Sunday. Glunz Tavern (1202 N. Wells, 312.642.3000) is serving brunch on Sunday only until its patio opens later this Spring. Then it’s Friday through Sunday for the terrific hash, which features roasted chicken, brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, onions and sage, all topped with poached eggs and hollandaise. Hash (1357 N. Western, 773.661.2964) serves up numerous variations of its namesake dish, such as Bubble and Squeak, house-cured corn beef hash and the best hangover remedy ever, the curry chicken and apple hash. Bring fixings for your own Mimosas or Bloody Marys to this BYOB. Breakfast menu is available daily, all day. Kanela (1552 N. Wells, 312.255.1206 and 3231 N. Clark, 773.248.1622 The second location of this popular Lakeview brunch spot serves breakfast, lunch and brunch, including their famous cinnamon chip pancakes and a few Old Town-only treats. The red velvet pancakes and banana split pancakes are dangerously good. Brunch is served daily. While not new, the “Brunch Gone Wild!” at Minibar (3339 N. Halsted, 773.871MBAR) features decadent breakfast items that change weekly and with the seasons. Included in the $25 price is Champagne for two; mimosas are an always an option. The Bloody Mary carafes to share are a steal at $10. boiMAG 23
Dinner Theater Gregg’s Theater Scene
“Spring Fever” Spring has sprung and it’s seemed to put a little bounce in everyone’s step and a song in their hearts. How else do explain the new crop of musicals sprouting up around town? Song and dance “From Doo Wop to Hip Hop” runs through Apr. 24 at the new Black Ensemble Theater Cultural Center, and Lost Note Theater Company’s inaugural production, “I Can Get It For You Wholesale” plays through May 1, at Strawdog Theatre Company’s Hugen Hall. Porchlight Music Theatre presents “Pal Joey,” book by John O’Hara, music by Richard Rodgers and lyrics by Lorenz Hart, through May 26 at Stage 773. The circus-themed musical “Barnum”, starring Gene Weygandt as P.T. Barnum, runs through June 16, at the Mercury Theater. In the ‘burbs, Drury Lane Theatre in Oakbrook Terrace, presents the Tony Award-winning musical “Oliver!”, through June 2. Another Tony Award-winning musical, Monty Python’s “Spamalot”, continues through May 4, at the Jedlicka Performing Arts Center in Cicero. Not just song and dance The Albright Theatre Company (in Batavia!) presents the queer play “Beautiful Thing” through May 11 and Victory Gardens presents the gaythemed play “The Whale”, written by
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by Rick Karlin & Gregg Shapiro
Samuel D. Hunter, through May 5 at the Victory Gardens Biograph Theater. “Still Alice”, adapted and directed by Christine Mary Dunford, based on the novel by Steppenwolf Theatre Company’s production of “Head of Passes” by gay ensemble member Tarell Alvin McCraney (“The Brother/ Sister Plays”), runs through June 9 at the Steppenwolf Theatre, and Hell In A Handbag presents “L’imitation of Life”, adapted by Ricky Graham of Running with Scissors Theater, is at Mary’s Attic until May 10. A Reasonable Facsimile Theatre Company’s main stage production of “A Piece of My Heart” by Shirley Lauro, runs through Apr. 28 at The Cornservatory, while Sideshow Theatre Company presents “Maria/Stuart” by Jason Grote, through May 5, at Theater Wit on Belmont. LiveWire Chicago Theatre presents the dysfunctional family drama “A Permanent Image” by Samuel D. Hunter, also through May 5, at The Storefront Theater. Premiere engagements AstonRep Theatre Company presents the Chicago premiere of the Tonynominated gay-themed play “Next Fall” by Geoffrey Nauffts, through May 25 at The BoHo Theatre at Heartland Studio. The Chicago premiere of the funny, yet poignant “Rabbit” by Nina Raine, runs through May 26 at Stage Left Theatre. Finally, the pre-Broadway world premiere of “Big Fish”, based on the Tim Burton movie, starring two-time Tony Award® winner Norbert Leo Butz, runs through May 5 at the Oriental Theater.
Chicago Q&A Dan cowley by Gregg Shapiro Spotlight Dan Crowley started sculpting with polymer clay in the early 1990s. He began his art career by sculpting finger puppets and selling them to art galleries. He created window displays full of my sculpted characters for Chicago’s Tiffany & Company for many years, as well for the Stuart Weitzman shoe stores. His work has been on the HGTV show “That’s Clever” and ABC Morning News with Tracey Butler. His oil paintings of Frog portraits have been seen in just about every restaurant in Andersonville. Dan is at the point in his career when he has started to see his early work pop up on Ebay and he thinks, “that’s fun.” He has put out greeting cards, calendars, made puppets for TV and New York cabaret acts. He is currently working on a Christmas book using his Uncle Dan cartoon characters. His work is carried at Curly Tale Fine Art on Erie and at Art of Toys in Sacramento CA. When did you come out and what was the experience like for you?
I came out in stages. First to my friends. In my twenties I was an actor, and when my friends came to see me in my first season of Summer Stock, they saw me comfortable being gay with other, new gay friends. This was 1984 and I lost some old friends then. The ones that stayed, grew stronger, because now they knew me better. Please name five of your GLBT heroes and say a few words about why you chose them.
Sukie DeLaCroix (Writer/Sage): gave me my chance to do my weekly cartoon strip “Uncle Dan”. I was lucky enough to be working on writing a musical with him, as he began the process of getting his book “Chicago Whispers” published. He’s an amazing man with a very open mind. I appreciated his sharing his work process with me. Now he’s written Chicago’s gay story. He’s always been interested in the people around him. He respects their stories. I like that. He’s a gay voice that reminds us to look deeper.
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Terry Gaskins (Photographer/ Artist): I’ve known Terry for years. She’s done so many things that turned out epic. She photographed every part of our “Paris in the ‘20s”. She has always been a proud lesbian artist who made everyone she worked with or photographed comfortable. She continues to grow her work in New Orleans, even after losing everything to Katrina. Hero, yep. Martin DeMatt (Teacher): Martin was my teacher at the Player’s Workshop of Second City. The class was supposed to be about “Improv” but, really, Martin could only teach about life. He helped me to learn what being a gay man was. Showed me how to be myself. Martin taught everyone to be comfortable with themselves and to listen to each other. He was a great teacher and friend. Oscar Wilde: I thought being gay in the 1980s was hard! He did it in a much grander style and in a much more restrictive time and place. The straight world did their best to crush his proud gay self, but his last words prove the strength of his queendom - “Either this wallpaper goes, or I do”. Inspiring. RuPaul: Ru has truly brought today’s gay voice to TV. His “Drag Race” shows on Logo show all in real life issues and celebrations of being gifted, gay and living a new kind of life. I love his celebration of uniqueness, creativity, and fun. “How the hell you gonna love somebody else if you can’t love yourself first?”
What do you consider to be your most significant contribution to the GLBT community?
My most significant contribution to the community, as an artist, I’d say was the three years that I put out the “Uncle Dan” cartoon strip. I wanted that to be from a gay point of view and to be about more than just sex. I like to think I was part of the early stages of the “Gay Family Friendly” market. My personal contribution to the community is in trying to be a good representative of what the word “gay” means. I want the people I meet to know that “gay” people are nice and good. What are your future goals and aspirations?
All along I’ve followed where my art work leads me. I just want to keep getting better at letting that happen. At any time, I can be involved with ten different projects. I like doing all sorts of things and finding a way of fitting that into my career. My dream would be to finally meet my “Cash Cow” project. The project that pours money down on me. Until then, I’ll keep doing what I love. Words of wisdom to the next GLBT generation.
OK, young gay people, here’s the poop. People were killed for being gay, throughout history. When they liberated the concentration camps, the gay prisoners were just sent to new prisons. Don’t take your freedom for granted. Being gay isn’t about being sexy or fashionable; it’s about your freedom to be whoever you truly are. Be the strongest you there could ever be. This is the only time you get the chance. Don’t follow, be. boiMAG 27
In The Know
ON THE GO
Hot Dish
Of course, everyone will be Dining Out for Life on April 25. See the articles elsewhere in this issue for a complete list of participating restaurants. There’s something for everyone’s price point. While you’re out, stop in at Cram as the clothing store hosts “April Party”. Not so imaginatively named, but who cares when they have hot bartenders serving up cocktails, a DJ and models in skimpy clothing… Charity Case is back from her three-month stay in Wilton Manors Florida looking very tanned. She says it was just to get away from the winter, but we hear it was rehab and extensive plastic surgery…Congrats to Hamburger Mary’s which was just certified a green restaurant. It must have been for recycling high heels into check presentation holders… John Waters (Hairspray, Lust in the Dust, Polyester) is coming back in town to perform his one-man show, “This Filthy World” on May 21 at The Harris Theater. It’s the perfect gift for Mother’s Day… For those living under a rock, Boom Boom Room is back at Dolphin and more popular than ever.
Street Talk
Looks like Halsted will get a luxe hotel soon. Ian Reisner, managing partner of Parkview Developers and founder of The Out NYC, shared preliminary details for The Out Chicago with us. They have their sites set on a spot adjacent to Sidetrack and will incorporate a restaurant, shop, gym along with 100+ rooms. Expect to see it by 2015… Bye bye Bucks, hello Replay… The wait is over, Circuit 5.0 is launching two new nights of weekly events beginning in May. Redemption Fridays and DisKoTron Saturdays. With the 5.0 upgrade comes a fresh new look in the Rehab lounge and a new industry house night on Wednesdays.... On Saturday, April 20 Ashley Morgan, her girls and the Chicago Spirit Brigade present a show entitled “A Night Under The Big Top”. One question, where are they going to find a top in that group? A $5 donation to benefit Snow City Arts is suggested, CSB will add an additional 25% to the funds raised and it takes place at The Call… Here’s a math equation that was never on the SAT, Downtown+B’Low+$5 Jaeger shots = ????... Egoist has Mixt it. The two stores have merged into your one stop shopping
spot, right across from Las Mañanitas… The fifth gayest event in the city kicks off on April 21 with the beginning of the monthly event, Vintage Garage Chicago at 5051 N. Broadway. The parking structure is packed with vintage vendors from around the city and the adjoining lot features some of the city’s most popular food trucks. Best of all, it’s only $3… If you like kielbasa, stop by The Ram on Apr. 26 for the “Battle of the Bulge” big dick contest. BTW fluffers, apply within.
Music, Music, Music
Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus will be dropping their drawers at the CGMC’s 5th Annual Big Package Auction featuring a live auction of spectacular gifts and packages presented by equally spectacular (and scantily clad) men of Boystown and the return of special guest hostess, Miss Richfield 1981, on Saturday, April 20, at Sidetrack… Windy City Performing Arts’ fundraiser “East, Drink & Be Married” is a week later on Saturday, April 27, at the Center on Halsted. Halsted Vodka will be providing its specialty cocktail called the “Halsted Honeymoon”… The Cast of “Book of Mormon” performs in “Love Heals”, a cabaret benefit on Monday, April 29 at the Laugh Factory, 3175 N Broadway. Two drinks are included with the purchase of a ticket. For more information check out chicagohouse. org.
Gurl on Gurl Action
The rowdy performance gang Sister Spit brings a vanload of queer-centric brilliance to town on Saturday, April 20, at Hideout, 1354 W. Wabansia. Sister Spit was established in San Francisco in the early 1990’s as a weekly all-female open mic series, co-founded by Michelle Tea and Sini Anderson. The duo launched the first Sister Spit national tour in 1997… GayCo Productions presents “Breast in Show” on Sunday, April 21, at pH Theater, 1515 W Berwyn. The women of GayCo invite you to love the ladies in this original sketch revue as they explore the compromises made when you find the one (with a great ass). GayCo boldly embraces lesbian stereotypes in their most epic softball scene ever. Six talented comediennes take charge in this hilarious sketch revue… The “Half Way to Michfest” party will be held on Saturday, April 27, at Holiday Club, $5 suggested donation.
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ASK ACE Advice by Ace Magyar
Puzzled on Polk My husband and I have been together nearly 20 years. We met when I was a student of his in college, but didn’t get together until we ran into each other at a bar a few years later. We’ve always led a somewhat spontaneous life and now he seems to have settled into a routine and gets very irritable with me if I suggest a change. The other day we were playing bridge with friends of ours and he told me I was playing wrong (I wasn’t) and he was rude to our friends when they sided with me. When I tried to talk to him about it after they left, he didn’t seem to realize that there was a problem. I think he may want out of the relationship and this is his way of making me leave. I love him and don’t want to end things, but he’s making it very difficult for me. DEAR POP, You don’t mention your husband’s age, but since you met 20 years ago and he was teaching college, I assume he is at least in his late 50s. What you may interpret as an indication that he wants to end the relationship, may be signs of early onset Alzheimer’s Disease. As we get older we all suffer lapses in memory, but if the lapses become severe or happen repeatedly, then it’s time to consult a physician. The Alzheimer’s Association lists the warning signs and symptoms of the disease, as you read over these, you may notice that many relate to your situation. If that’s the case, then try to convince your husband to see a doctor. One of the most common signs of Alzheimer’s is memory loss, especially forgetting recently learned information. Some people may experience changes in their ability to develop and follow a plan or work with numbers. They may have difficulty concentrating and take much longer to do things than they did before. People with Alzheimer’s often find it hard to complete daily tasks and sometimes may have trouble driving to a familiar location, managing a budget at work or remembering the rules of a favorite game.
For some people, having vision problems is a sign of Alzheimer’s. They may have trouble following or joining a conversation and may struggle with vocabulary, beyond the mere inability to recall a word of phrase. They may call things by the wrong name (e.g., calling a “watch” a “hand-clock”). We’ve all misplaced our keys, phone or the remote. However, a person with Alzheimer’s disease may put things in unusual places. Sometimes, they may accuse others of stealing. They may start to remove themselves from hobbies, social activities, work projects or sports. The mood and personalities of people with Alzheimer’s can change. They can become confused, suspicious, depressed, fearful or anxious. Help A Gal I’m a straight woman with many gay male friends. I finally met a nice straight man at my sister’s wedding and we’ve been going out for a few months. The sex is great and he treats me very well. I was hesitant to introduce him to my gay friends because he sometimes makes homophobic remarks. I’ve talked to him about this and he apologized and has stopped doing it. He explained that gay men were always hitting on him (he is very good looking and has a great body), so that he had a negative image of them. I thought it would be good for him to meet my friends, so I had a party and invited them over. It was a disaster! My gay friends fawned over him and he was freaked out, made a few nasty comments about being, “pawed by fags” and left. One of my friends said that he saw my boyfriend later that night hanging all over another woman at a club. I want to see him again, but I don’t want to lose my gay buddies. DEAR HAG Did you warn your gay friends to go easy on him? Not that you should have had to, but straight men are generally not used to being treated as sexual objects. Your boyfriend probably was feeling uncomfortable and possibly felt emasculated. That would explain his rude behavior, but doesn’t excuse it. As I see it, you have two options, drop him or try to educate him. I have a number of straight male friends who were a bit uncomfortable being in a large group of gay men, but they’ve come around and are now staunch allies for our community. So you really only have to decide is if you think he can be educated and, if so, whether you want to put forth the effort.
Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PHD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com.
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