boiMAG.com "Happiness"

HEALTH & WELLNESS Happiness, Make it Yours

by: Dr. Charla Waxman

Happiness is something much sought after; no question about it. Looking for that fairy tale lurks just around the corner from our last disappointment. What makes happiness so elusive is that it is different for each of us and changes with each stage of our lives. The idea of happiness and our yearning to find its full meaning, has led to divorces, quitting our jobs, moving to new locations, and cosmetic surgeries.

Happiness is an unusual emotion. It often focused in the present and is all about our own self-satisfaction. No one else experiences happiness in the same way, so it is difficult to help someone understand just exactly what happiness looks like and feels like for us. It is very personal and very nebulous.

Happiness is linked to positive experiences in mood and life engagement. This includes our jobs, our relationships, our outlook on the future, and even things like hobbies and social play.

There are people who seem to be at ease with life and that can have a very strong parallel to happiness. Other traits for happiness can include: being able to accept what comes, a willingness to share in the happiness of others, being grateful for the little things, having successes that are meaningful and memorable and being community connected and involved. Even in the worst of times, through faith or just a sense of overall positivity about life, happy people, to quote an old song, expect that the best is yet to come.

The good news is that you can create a happy demeanor and begin to really feel happy. Serving others is one way to make a difference and feel the appreciation of others. A positive sense of self derived from positive feedback is a step toward positive vibes that create a memory of what happy feels like. That memory is a foundation for happiness and you may find yourself seeking that feeling again.

Maya Angelou is credited with saying, “If the only prayer you say is “Thank you”, it will be enough.” Grateful people are, in general, happier people. Practice gratitude. Look for the best even when things don’t seem so great. Turn up the throttle on being and thinking in the positive and happy will follow. If you are used to expecting the worst, it will take some practice. A gratitude or happiness journal may help you create a habit of finding the best in the worst of times and in everyday things.

Happiness is important. It affects us in ways that go beyond the moment. Happy people look back on stages of their lives and feel more satisfied with job, relationships and family choices and outcomes. Because happier and people with more positive outlooks are easier to be around, they seem to have more resources and support. The attitudes of those we spend time with can bring our happiness levels up or down. Seek positive people. Shy away from naysayers. If you can’t because they are family, old friends, or coworkers that you must interact with, reframe their negative thinking out loud. Let them hear how you want to see the world. You may be able to teach them about how to wrap happiness around you in almost any situation.

While you are seeking good thoughts and finding happiness, you can add in healthful food choices and exercise. Both of these choices boost immunity, keep your body toned and moving, and, you guessed it, elevate your mood. Our physical health is impacted by happiness. Seek happiness to reduce the stresses that can cause those headaches, body aches and even heart disease and some cancers.

Here it comes! Volunteering and finding what matters to you can help you feel valued and satisfied. Look for your own goal development and expand on learning about what makes you feel a sense of purpose and belonging. As you learn and find hobbies and altruistic interests, you may also find that happiness develops over time and builds on itself.

Happiness is not static, it is a dynamic entity. It grows as you do. You can be happy, it can take some work, but it’s worth it.