21.11 by boiMAGazine & boiMAG.com

ISSUE 11.11

WINTER FASHION • OUTERWEAR HATS TAKE OFF

As the weather gets cooler outside, we decided to take a look at some outwear fashions and hats that will keep you warm for the next few months. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that although some Chicagoans have a tendency to hibernate during the cold season, some take it to the extreme. Hibernation can be a bit taxing on ones health and on the cash flow of our favorite hangouts... To avoid the belly fat and our favorite haunts closing due to lack of business, I would like to suggest to those who’s “January to March” trifecta consists of work, home and Facebook, that they try to continue some of their activities into the months ahead. A balance between cuddling under the covers and still enjoying what Chicago has to offer is a good way to say healthy.

Rick

3700 N. Halsted St. #2S Chicago, IL 60613

773.975.0264

boieditorial@aol.com • boiads@aol.com Publisher Editor

Mike Macharello Rick Karlin

Layout & Design Titanium Graphics

Advertising Freddie Dave DeGraff

freddie@boimagazine.com dave@boimagzine.com

Photographers Oliver Aguilar Eamonn Sexton George St. George

Editorial Contributors Harry Taint Anita Taylor

Gregg Shapiro Ace Magyar

VIEW BOI ONLINE AT www.boimagazine.com

OUTERWEAR HATS TAKE OFF HATS TAKE OFF (CONTD.) restaurant LISTINGS COVER BOI screen savor in the know, on the go! ASK ACE bars and clubs directory

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Warm and Stylish Winter Outerwear By Anita Taylor

Chicago winters are brutal, which often makes being fashionable difficult during the months of January through March. Difficult, but not impossible, especially since the puffy coat has extended its fashion momentum and is taking over the stage. Other than that here is not much of a change from what we’ve seen in past years. During a weak economy designers are less likely to come up with an entirely different look, but rather small variations on what was shown in previous season. Consequently, there were no massive innovations seen on the runway, but a continuation of what we’ve seen the past few seasons, but with a focus on fabrics and colors rather than on tailoring, a modern approach that says “touch me & feel me”. The color palette that many designers are showing this year use grays as a base combined with tans and taupes. If you are planning on buying a new winter coat, this would be the season to do so. The color combinations are classic and will serve you well for years to come. If this is not the time to invest in a new coat bring life to what you have by bringing in the soft earth tones via a scarf, gloves or hat. Channeling refers to the method used to create the pockets that help hold the filling in place. Coats are often found in one of three styles of channeling; box, columns or rows. Box and row channeling often can accommodate a variety of density levels in each channel, making it possible to keep some areas warmer and allow other areas (such as under the arms and along the back) a little more “breathing room”. Much of the design of the channeling also relates to what kind of fill is being utilized in the garment. Many swear by eider down, the softest under-feathers from the eider duck. While it is true that down filling will keep you warm, also keep in mind that down will require more bulk and, unless the thread count is extremely high, feather will tend to work their way through the fabric. Cleaning a down filled jacket is also much more expensive.

Military is a strong favorite again this season, this time deriving its inspiration from the ‘40s and ‘50s. Great coats, aviator jackets with shearling lining and collars were shown combined with aviator boots. Burberry, Prorsum and Neil Barrett are but a few of the designers showing this look. Keep in mind when shopping for boots the differences between “water resistant” and “waterproof” are significant. Water resistant means that the shoe’s material sheds off water, but will not keep your feet dry if you step into a puddle. Another indication of the military trend is the emergence of the trench coat. Many are available with zip-out linings making them a great coat for transitioning from fall to winter to spring. While not being show in outerwear, velvet is very on trend for trousers and jackets. It has been a fabric of choice for the most fashion forward gentlemen for some time now. It is a material best used sparingly, just one item at a time. Pair a pair of wool pants with a velvet jacket over a cashmere sweater for a cozy and luxurious look. Camelhair is also showing up on many designers’ runways. From overcoats to blazers to trousers this staple combines well with brown knits, chocolate corduroy and grey tweed. Perhaps in a nod to these tough economic times, designers are using luxury fabrics sparingly. If you’re in the market for a fur coat, however, a vintage one may be the easiest on your wallet. Chicago’s harsh winters make make it one of the few places wearing fur doesn’t look ostentatious. Chicago Fur Outlet offers an amazing selection of coats guaranteed to keep you warm all winter. It reminds me of Mae West’s response to a woman who commented, “Goodness Miss West, that coat is lovely.” To which Mae responded, “Goodness had nothing to do with it!” Anita Taylor is a celebrity stylist, fashion writer, personal shopper and hash house waitress. She attended Parsons New School, Radcliff and Mr. Lance’s College of Cosmetology. boi

by Anita Taylor Until the middle of the 20th century, hats were an essential part of every man’s wardrobe. Whether a blue collar worker or the social elite, every man wore a hat when leaving the house for social events. Men wore hats to the theater, family events, church and, often to work. Until the 1960s men were rarely seen out and about without a hat sitting upon their head. Since that time, the wearing of hats went from ubiquitous to a rarity. Some say the downfall of hats occurred when JFK did not wear a hat to his inauguration. This is a myth, however, as Kennedy did indeed don a hat that day. Some think the smaller cars that became popular near the end of the 20th century aided to the change of custom, but the truth is that by the time smaller cars became commonplace, men were already going hat free. Most likely, the demise of hats can simply be traced to changing styles and the trend towards a more casual look at both the workplace and in social situations. Lately though, hats for men have been staging a comeback of sorts. At first worn by urban hipsters in an ironic fashion, more and more men discovered that a hat is a viable and characteristic fashion accessory as well as protective head wear. Hats were originally intended to serve such purposes as shielding the head and face from the blistering sun, keep it dry when it rained and keep the head warm or cool as the climate dictated. There are a number of hat styles, so you may want to consider owning more than one, unless you dress in the same style all the time. Let’s take a look at the various styles of headgear and how they should be worn. But first, a word about cowboy hats. They should only be worn by cowboys (or men pretending to be cowboys) and should only be worn with jeans or chaps, never dress pants and certainly not with a suit. The only exceptions to this rule are if you are named J.R. Ewing or are accepting an award from the Country Music Association. Otherwise you are just a pretentious buffoon. The same 10 boi

goes for straw hats, commonly referred to as “boaters”. They are only allowed when you are singing in a quartet. The fedora hat may be the hottest of men’s fashion trends, but it’s not the only style of men’s hat making waves in the fashion industry. Materials range from basic wool and wool blends to luxury materials, such as cashmere and Harris Tweed. With a selection of styles color and fabric, there’s a hat for everyone. The Flat Cap has a rounded shape, a small brim and a high back. Usually associated with the British working class, the flat cap can be a stylish way to add interest to a casual outfit. A variation on this is the newsboy cap, which features a more rounded top. It is less sophisticated and not for a mature man. The Fedora is soft, usually made of felt, creased lengthwise down the crown, and pinched on both sides. It is best paired with dressier outfits, such as a suit or at minimum, sport coat and slacks. With the right attitude it also works well with dress pants, dress shirt, tie and either suspenders or a contrasting vest. Fedoras have a suave manly aura. Think of Humphrey Bogart or Frank Sinatra. The Pork Pie is named for its resemblance to a pot pie. It is similar to a fedora but with a flat top instead of a pinched crown. The brim is also shorter and turned up. It can be dressed up or down and was favored by jazz and blues musicians. Perhaps the best known use of a pork pie is by Gene Hackman as Detective Popeye Doyle in the film “The French Connection”. The Homburg is tricky hat to wear. Although similar to the fedora, the Homburg’s brim lacks the fedora’s pinches, and is turned up all the way around; it is a much dressier look. The hat is accented with a hatband into which a feather may be stuck. The Bowler/Derby is hard, made of felt, and has a very short brim. While considered a British

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icon, the bowler was also part of the urban culture of America in the 19th century. Difficult to pull off as daily wear due to its connection with classic detectives such as Hercule Poirot, John Steele from the Avengers and Stan Laurel of Lauren & Hardy. Other hats, such as the Panama, skimmer and boat cap are all meant for wearing in warmer weather and sunnier climates. To paraphrase an old song lyric, “The way you wear your hat….” Says a lot about you, or should at least give the same impression of who you are. A hat’s brim is usually worn parallel to the floor. Wearing a hat at a rakish angle gives it a fashionable touch, but it’s easy to go over the line and end up looking cartoonish. Keep in mind the following: Wearing your hat pushed back and up off the forehead can put forth an open and accessible image. Conversely, turning your hat a bit to the side (no more than an inch) tilting it down over your eyes can make you appear mysterious and intimidating. To project a straight forward, all-business attitude, make certain your hat is perfectly centered on your head and is pushed up and tilted upward just a bit.

How to Choose a Hat That Enhances Your Appearance What most people deem an attractive face is largely based on symmetry. The more symmetrical a face is, the more appealing it appears to others. There’s not much, short of surgery, you can do to change the symmetry of your face. Picking a hat that is right style and shape for your face shape will increase your attractiveness and give you an ever sharper appearance. If you’re not certain of the shape of your face, try this: Stand squarely in front of a mirror, using a dry erase (white board) marker draw a line around the outline of your face on the mirror. Step back and take a look at the shape and see which of the following categories match your appearance.

Round faces tend to look short, so you want a hat that will give you a little height. Choose a hat such as a Fedora or Panama, with a medium height crown with a slight taper to the front and a narrow contrasting hat band. The brim should be of medium width and turned up at the ends. Long, thin faces look better with a hat that shortens the appearance of the face; such as Fedoras, Homburgs and Derbies with a shorter crown that is not too square with a moderate taper. Wide hat bands will make the face appear shorter. The brim should be wide for the same reason and snapped from ear to ear. Tilt it to the side with a slight back tilt to add even more horizontal definition. Top Heavy (triangular) faces taper to a narrow, sometimes pointy chin line. A hat that will balance the top and bottom out will feature a short, medium to narrow crown, such as a Fedora offers the best balance. Wear the hat to the side and tilted downward to cover some of your forehead. Square faces need a hat that will add some curvature to the face and make it appear less boxy, a Homburg or Bowler are both good options. A full and round crown of medium height combined with a wide width brim, fully snapped or turned up will break up square face lines. Prominent Jaws look very manly, and the Fedora, again, is a good choice, particularly if it has a low crown and side dents, tapers toward the front and has a straight brim in front. Worn level with a slight tilt to either the left or right, it makes a handsome man even handsomer. Now that you’ve got the shape, how about the color? If you’ve got ruddy skin, opt for brown, blue or grey. Dark skin looks better against a similar shade of brown, or one or two steps lighter. Olive skin looks great against brown or green while pale folks benefit from dark blue. boi 13

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AMERICAN___________

Ann Sather 929 W. Belmont 773.348.2378.

Hamburger Mary’s 5400 N. Clark 773.784.6969.

5207 N Clark 773.271.6627 & 3411 N Broadway 773.305.0024. These bustling hot spots, serving traditional Swedish pancake house fare, are best known for hearty fare and delish cinnamon rolls.

“Eat, Drink and be... MARY” at this fun and popular Andersonville restaurant which features a wide array of burgers and sandwiches, along with an interesting selection of tasty appetizers. Wash it all down with one of Mary’s home-brewed ales.

The Bagel 3107 N. Broadway 773.477.0300 The

Horizon Café 3805 N. Broadway 773.883.1565.

quintessential Jewish style deli is the perfect spot for a corned beef or pastrami sandwich, some chicken soup, lox and bagels or a full dinner that tastes as if someone’s Jewish momma made it.

Chicago Diner 3411 N. Halsted 773.935.6696

This world famous vegetarian restaurant offers vegan and organic offerings. Organic beers, wine, and spirits are also available.

Cocktail 3359 N. Halsted 773.477.1420. The

kitchen at this popular bar serves up better and fancier food than it needs to. The menu ranges from gourmet salads and sandwiches to comfort food and fabulous brunch dishes.

Crew 4804 N. Broadway 773.784.2739. More than just a sports bar, the menu includes a variety of hamburgers, sandwiches, salads and comfort food.

Deluxe Diner 6349 N. Clark 773.743.8244.

Conveniently located near Rogers Park’s gay triangle, the diner’s “open 24 hours on weekends” status is perfect after a night at the bars. Featured menu items include breakfast skillets that are served anytime.

F.O’Mahony’s 3701 N. Broadway 773.549-0097

This long-time popular Lakeview family restaurant serves up big portions of creative homestyle dishes as well as healthy fare (broth-based soups and whole wheat tortilla wraps) and at affordable prices. Breakfast served all day long. Delivery available.

IHOP 3760 N. Halsted 773.296.0048. More than a

pancake house, this 24-hour Boystown institution serves up affordably priced appetizers, sandwiches, and entrees that are sure to satisfy varying after-bar wants and needs.

Kit Kat Lounge 3700 N. Halsted 773.525.1111.

Providing the best of diva entertainment along with a full dinner menu, they offer ½-price cocktails and Buy 1 Get 1 Free Entree on Wednesdays.. On Monday nights get 50% off your entire bill.

M. Henry 5707 N. Clark 773.561.1600. This popular Andersonville outpost serves breakfast and lunch daily and features creative fare such as pancakes with warm blackberries and vanilla mascarpone cream. Additionally there are many vegetarian dishes.

DS Tequila 3352 N. Halsted 773.697.9127. An

Americanized sporty joint that features tequila & tacos.

An Irish-named pub and grill, but mostly it’s a neighborhood hangout where you can order food to go along with your beer (or cosmo). The menu features such faves as hot wings, sliders and pizza served till the wee hours. Sunday’s $20 mimosa brunch is popular.

Nookies Tree 3334 N. Halsted 773.248.9888. A

Golden Nugget Family Restaurants

Lakeview institution has been catering to the afterbar crowds for decades, serving breakfast anytime along with typical diner fare. Open 24 hours

2720 N. Clark 773.929.0724. 2406 W. Diversey 773.252.8903. 1765 W. Lawrence 773.769.6700. A great option for after bar dining as they are all open 24-7, and have free parking. The large menu is sure to please, especially the classic breakfast and hearty dinners. Everything is housemade, known for fluffy buttermilk pancakes,

regular haunt for the locals of Boystown and popular with hangover recoverers, the diner serves made-toorder omelets, pancakes, waffles and other brunch fare all day. And it’s open 24 hours on weekends.

Melrose 3233 N Broadway 773.327.2060. This

Stella’s Diner 3042 N. Broadway 773.472.9040.

Friendly staff serve up delicious diner fare, such as; fresh salads, a large selection of wraps, sandwiches, hearty entrees, pastas, and homemade deserts

Halsted’s Bar & Grill 3441 N. Halsted 773.348.9696 Tweet 5020 N. Sheridan 773.728.5576. An Uptown This Boystown eatery serves up a wide array of tasty appetizers, burgers, sandwiches, and popular comfort food items at very reasonable prices in a fun and inviting atmosphere. Beers on tap are aplenty and the weekend brunch draws an attractive crowd.

fave, serving breakfast and lunch only, uses organic ingredients when possible to create brunch items such as buckwheat pancakes, Danish beignets, Belgian waffles, and an impressive assortment of breakfast burritos and egg Benedict dishes.

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Hi, my name is John, I grew up in a hillbilly trailer park on the Indiana-Kentucky border. I’ve known I was bi since I was about ten years old and saw “Will and Grace” on television. Of course, living in the middle of Hillbilly Acres, I knew enough to keep that information to myself (my momma may have been a hillbilly but she didn’t raise no fools.) One I turned sixteen I started hanging out at the rest stop along the highway not far from my house. Let’s just say that I meant a lot of interesting people and learned a lot of helpful techniques. I used to meet this one acquaintance fairly regularly and when I turned eighteen I was asked if I wanted move in. I’m not gonna lie, I loved being taken care of. But, that’s not who I am, so I decided to get a job and contribute to our family income. Rude awakening! There’s not much you can do that pays well with only a G.E.D. Once when I was on vacation, I entered an amateur stripper contest and I won. It turned out I was a natural and was asked to tour with a strip troupe. That put quite a strain on my home life, but the money was so good I couldn’t see how I could quit. A buddy of mine quit his trucking job, we moved to Atlanta and started our own group of dancers. That group ended up being a huge success and we ended up selling it to one of our guys. Part of the agreement of the sale is that I couldn’t strip anywhere near Atlanta for five years. So we moved to Dallas and did the same thing, then Oklahoma City and St. Louis. We ended up with quite the little empire and found ourselves pretty well off financially. I decided to get out

of the stripper business and bought a condo in Miami. On a trip to Chicago during one of my dance tours, I fell in love with Chicago, so I bought a condo here too. I used to stay here during the summer (I usually came up for IML and stayed through Halloween.) As soon as the temps dropped, I would high-tail it back to Miami... unless I had a reason to make me stay. About a year ago, I was asked to do Playgirl, but I turned it down. The offer wasn’t very good and I felt it would hurt any chances of me being taken seriously. However, BOI Magazine seemed right up my alley! Right after this photo shoot, I packed my things and heading down to Florida. I’ll be back in time for IML 2012. See you all again in the spring! ;-) boi 21

More Reeling and rocking: Reeling 30 By Gregg Shapiro Religion has been making its way into recent indie LGBT films. From Ash Christian’s “Mangus!” to the Shumanski’s “Blackmail Boys,” it’s a topic that isn’t going away, especially in light of the way the community is treated by religious extremists. You can add Stephen Cone’s amazing “The Wise Kids” (Cone Arts) to the list and place it at the top of the list as the best of the current crop. Set in Charleston, South Carolina, in a community with strong ties to the church, “The Wise Kids” begins in April as music director Austin (Cone) is conducting rehearsals for the Passion play and takes us all the way through December, with stops in May and August. The wonder of the film is the way that every relationship rings true. From Tim and his father (and siblings) to Brea and her father to Austin and Elizabeth and even Tim and Austin, there is never a false note. Nov. 3, 7:30 p.m., Music Box Theatre on Southport Leaving Manhattan because he wanted to “see green,” schoolteacher Michael (Jason Butler Harner) and his partner of 15 years, Daniel (Cheyenne Jackson), relocate to the Connecticut coast in “The Green”. Michael not only teaches at the private Yardley School, he also runs the drama department. Student Jason is chronically late and failing three classes, he is also picked on regularly by the other students. But when Michael’s concern for Jason is misinterpreted, everything falls apart. Michael is falsely accused of being inappropriate with Jason. Suddenly, the idyllic life that Michael and Daniel sought turns into a nightmare. Set against a raging storm brewing in the atmosphere, “The Green” touches on a few hot button issues, including gay marriage and small town society’s tenuous relationship with gay culture, creating its own storm within the storm. “The Green” effectively sweeps the viewer up in the action. Nov. 4, 5 p.m., Landmark Century Cinema on Clark 22 boi

“Wish Me Away” combines out lesbian

and country artist Chely Wright’s personal video diary and documentary style footage (incorporating interviews, concert performances, award and talk show clips and more), allowing viewers to follow Wright in both the countdown to her 2010 coming out as well as her relocation to NYC after living in Nashville for more than 20 years. The viewer can’t help but feel Wright’s pain as she willingly sacrifices commercial success in Nashville and the country music community (fans, radio and television), so that she can live her truth. Nov. 5, 7 p.m., Landmark Century Cinema on Clark

“August” , the first feature length film by

Israeli filmmaker Eldar Rapaport is a stylized, non-linear piece of filmmaking set during an August heat-wave in Los Angeles. An architect with good credentials wants to return to L.A. after working in Barcelona, Spain for a few years. Once he gets back to town, he wastes no time dipping into the “ex-files,” and rings up and old boyfriend. As expected dramatic and sexual tension reaches its peak and the convincing performances keep the story at a believable level and the sex as hot as the triple-digit L.A. temperatures. Nov. 5, 9:15 p.m., Landmark Century Cinema on Clark Taking mumblecore’s homoerotic potential and explicitness several steps beyond “Humpday,” the Shumanski brothers ultra-low budget, but sexually graphic, feature “Blackmail Boys” holds the viewer hostage as it promises more than it delivers. To make ends meet in pricey Chicago, an art student has been turning tricks. When the art student’s lover sneaks a peak at Sam’s married, high-paying client, he recognizes him as a notorious right-wing Christian homophobe and author. That’s when they devise a scheme to capture Sam and hypocritical Andrew having sex on video and blackmailing Andrew to get the cash they need to get married. To its credit, “Blackmail Boys” has a couple of surprises up its sleeve as it reaches its conclusion, but it takes far too long getting there. “Blackmail Boys” simply fails to pay off. Nov. 7, 9:30 p.m., Landmark Century Cinema on Clark

by Harry Taint

Boxxing Day

Okay, I know it’s a stretch to use that for an evening at Spin on Saturday, Nov. 5 with Pandora Boxx, but you try coming up with a wittier tag. She’s doing two shows, and tickets will be available at the door , but you can get up close and personal by buying tix ahead of time at nightclub.tix.com... Stop by the Uptown Lounge for “Slap a Bitch Bingo” on Wednesdays from 8-10. The ubiquitous Paula Sinclaire, the hardest working drag queen in town, hosts... This may not be news to many, but “Love Sucks”. At least that’s what the play running at Hydrate... Ram’s saluting our troops on Veterans’ Day (11-11) with a special party featuring military themed porn, no cover for folks with military ID and reduced cover for those in uniform. I don’t suppose my Cub Scout uniform counts. Like I could fit in it anymore. Don’t Pack Away That Halloween Drag Yet As if the girls needed another reason to put on a frock, now there’s “Drag Idol” kicking off Thursday, Nov. 10 at Hydrate. It’s Chicago’s newest drag competition and in this one the audience decides who stays and who goes. Hosted by Kelly Lauren. Sign up with sean@ hydratechicago.com. It might be worth putting on those Spanx, the winner of the 13-week competition will win a prize package worth over $10,000, including $1500 cash, a professional photo shoot and a trip for two... CGMC’s “Lipstick & Lyrics: Girls Night Out” takes place on Saturday, Nov. 12 at Mayne Stage. Members of the Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus haul out their highest drag to take to the stage to perform in CGMC’s 8th Annual all-live, all-drag revue. No lip-syncing here, the guys use their real voices and give all they’ve got in a variety of perform in production numbers featuring hot back-up dancers. VIP Tickets are $50 and include reserved seating, table service and two drink tickets; General Admission is $25 and includes one drink ticket. All proceeds benefit CGMC. Go to maynestage.com for tix... Then there’s also “Trannies & Tiaras” which benefits Chicago House on Sunday, Nov. 13 at Hydrate. The club’s football team gets all dolled up in makeup, dresses and heels! Such a deal too, a $10 donation gets you two free drink tickets. Go to while you watch the show! Go to hydratechicago.com.

Money, Honey!

We’re entering the season of fundraisers when all your GLBT groups are hoping to find you in a charitable mood and looking for a tax deduction. These events aren’t all for the well-to-do, even is your discretionary income spending consists of opting for Venti instead of a tall, there’s an event for you. Equality Illinois 2012 Gala: Justice for All will take place on Saturday, Feb. 11, this is where the A gays come to see and be seen at one of the most elegant and fun LGBT events of the year. With more than 1,000 guests in attendance, including elected officials, candidates, and other VIPs, the gala is one of the most impactful ways to support full equality for LGBT people. If you simply cannot wait until then, check out the EQIL Fall Women’s Social on Saturday, Nov. 5 at Flourish Studios for an afternoon of socializing, cocktails, light bites, and great giveaways! EQIL also has an event that almost anyone can afford; a pre-holiday wine tasting benefit on Wednesday, Nov. 9 from 6-9 at Sidetrack. For only $20 you get to taste more than 99 wines from around the world. Even better, you can purchase bottles and cases to enjoy at home. Go to eqil.org or call 773.477.7173 for more info on any of these events. Chicago House makes Whoopi for lunch as it welcomes the woman with a view to serve as keynote speaker during lunch. Go to chicagohouse.org for all the particulars. HRC will have its gala on Saturday, Nov. 12 at the Fairmont. Tickets range in price from $225 to $350 (ouch!) go to hrcchicago.org. Y Bar asks “Y Not?” in a Fantasy Philanthropic Fetish Festival on Sunday, Nov. 20. The event benefits TPAN which is also the beneficiary of “Barlesque” the search for Chicago’s sexiest bar employee. With 15 bars participating in this year’s contest, the competition will be bigger and better than ever. To view this years contestants, visit the Barlesque IV website, pick your favorite contestant. Since its inception in 2008, Barlesque has generated close to $65,000. The more money each contestant raises, the more clothing comes off! Go to TPAN.com to get the skinny. boi 25

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by Ace Magyar

Conflicted on Courtland & Kedzie

My boyfriend of five years had been urging me to try a three-way. I was very satisfied with our relationship, and didn’t want to have sex with anyone else, but he said it would bring excitement to our relationship. I was worried we might break up if I didn’t, so I agreed to try it once. We had the three-way with a guy we met in a club and it was fabulous, for me. The other guy didn’t seem to be as interested in my boyfriend as he was in me (which I find odd because my boyfriend is much better looking than I am). Our “third” and I made a real connection and the sex was much better than I’ve had with anyone else. He called me a few days later and we met for coffee and ended up going back to his place to have sex. He doesn’t want to have three-ways with my boyfriend and me any more. He just wants to be with me. I’m torn, I really like this guy (both in and out of bed) but I’ve invested five years with my boyfriend.

COCK

Your boyfriend is probably thinking of the adage, “Be careful of what you wish for”. I’m assuming that you haven’t said anything to him about your trysts with #3. You need to re-assess your relationship. First think about what you want, not only from your boyfriend, but from your new man as well. You shouldn’t stay in a relationship just because you have time invested. Are you getting what you want and need from your boyfriend? If not, it may be time to move on. If your relationship is satisfying otherwise, discuss this with your boyfriend. He may be fine with an open relationship where you both have others on the side, or he may not. Discuss this with him and be honest about your feelings. Do the same with your “third”, as well. There is no one “right” way to have a relationship. I worked with one couple who brought in a third and they’ve been a happy trio to 15 years. On the flip side, I’ve knew a couple who brought in a third and they decided to go their own way because it didn’t work out. Couples (and trios) need to find out what works best for them.

Cringing About Restaurant Experiences

We have a lesbian couple who are among our best friends. A few years ago they had twins. They are now four years old and refer to me as their uncle and I love them as if they were my own. The problem is that their mothers let them run around restaurants when we go out to dinner. I feel this is dangerous and have voiced this concern to our friends numerous times. The think I’m being over cautious and tell me not to worry about it. What can I do?

CARE

First of all, you are not over-reacting. Restaurants are not playgrounds, they are places people go to in order to relax and enjoy a meal... and not have children running around. Secondly, the wait staff carries trays of hot food and sharp objects. One little slip and those children could be injured, possible scarred for life. Your friends are being rude to the staff and other patrons of the establishment and putting their children in danger. You have every right to voice your concerns. There are a number of ways to solve this problem: dine with your friends only at Chuck E. Cheese or stop meeting with your friends in restaurants. If neither of these are viable solutions, there is an alternative, speak directly to the twins and tell then how and why it bothers you and say that when they’re dining with you, you’d prefer they stay in their seats. Then hand them a coloring book and some crayons or something that will keep them occupied. If that doesn’t work, a staple gun does wonders when trying to keep children in their seats. Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PhD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to boieditorial@aol.com. boi 29

Boystown / Lakeview

3160 3160 N.Clark G&L, LM,DS Berlin 954 W. Belmont G&L, D, 4 Bobby Love’s 3729 N. Halsted G&L Buck’s Saloon 3439 N. Halsted G Cell Block 3702 N. Halsted G, LF Charlie’s 3726 N. Broadway G, D, W Circuit 2.02 3641 N. Halsted G&L, D, 4 Cocktail 3359 N. Halsted G, GB Elixir Lounge 3452 N. Halsted G, 4 F. O’Mahony’s 3701 N. Broadway G&L, R Hydrate 3458 N. Halsted G, D, DS, 4 Kit Kat 3700 N. Halsted G&L, DS, R Little Jim’s 3501 N. Halsted G, V, 4 Lucky Horseshoe 3169 N. Halsted G, GB Manhandler 1948 N. Halsted G, W, 4 Minibar 3341 N. Halsted G, R North End 3733 N. Halsted G Roscoe’s 3356 N. Halsted G, D, V, DS Scarlet 3320 N. Halsted G Sidetrack 3349 N. Halsted G, V Smart Bar / Metro 3730 N. Clark MS, D, 4 Spin 800 W. Belmont G, D, V, DS The Closet 3325 N. Broadway G&L, V, 4

773.327.5969 773.348.4975 773.525.1200 773.525.1125 773.665.8064 773.871.8887 773.325.2233 773.477.1420 773.477.1420 773.549.0226 773.975.9244 773.525.1111 773.871.6116 773.404.3169 773.871.3339 773.871.6227 773.477.7999 773.281.3355 773.348.1053 773.477.9189 773.549.4140 773.327.7711 773.477.8533

Chicago Downtown

Baton Show Lounge 436 N. Clark DS 312.644.5269 Club 720 720 N. Wells MS, D, 4 312.787.8720 Crimson Lounge 333 N. Dearborn MS, D, R 312.923.2473 Downtown Bar & Lounge 440 N State G 312.464.1400 Excalibur/Vision 632 N. Dearborn MS, D, 4 312.266.1944 Funky Buddha 728 W. Grand Ave. MS, D 312.666.1695 House of Blues 329 N. Dearborn MS, LM, 4 312.923.2000 Krush/Prop House 1657 N. Elston G&L, D, 4 773.486.2390 Second Story Bar 157 E. Ohio G, V 312.923.9536 Sound Bar 226 W. Ontario MS, D, 4 312.787-4480 Spy Bar 646 N. Franklin MS, D, 4 312.587.8779 Underground 56 W. Illinois MS, D, 4 312.644.7600 Vibe 1543 N. Kingsbury MS, D, 4 312.266.1900

Chicago Northside CONTINUED

Crew 4804 N. Broadway G&L, V, R 773.784.2739 Davenport’s 1383 N. Milwaukee G&L, LM 773.278.1830 Debonair Social Club 1575 N. MilwaukeeAve. MS, D 773.227.7990 Fat Cat 4849 N. Broadway MS, R 773.506.3100 Green Dolphin St. 2200 N. Ashland G&L, D, LM, 4 773.395.0066 Green Mill 4802 N. Broadway MS, LM, 4 773.878.5552 In Fine Spirits 5420 N Clark MS, R 773.334.9463 Jackhammer 6406 N. Clark G, D, V, GB, LM, 4 773.743.5772 Joi de Vine 1744 W. Balmoral L, R 773.989.6846 Kinetic Playground 1113 W. LawrenceMS, D, LM, 4 773.769.5483 Marty’s 1511 W. Balmoral G&L 773.561.6425 Mary’s Attic 5400 N Clark G&L, D, V, R 773.784.6969 Parlour On Clark 6341 N. Clark 773.564.9274 Mary’s RecRoom 5402 N Clark G&L, D, V, R 773.784.6969 Scot’s 1829 W. Montrose G&L 773.528.3253 SoFo Bar 4923 N. Clark G 773.784.7636 T’s 5025 N. Clark G&L, R 773.784.6000 The Call 1547 W Bryn Mawr G&L, D, DS, V, LM 773.334.2525 The Glenwood 6962 N Glenwood G 773.764.7363 Touché 6412 N. Clark G, V, LF, 4 773.465.7400

Chicago Southside

Club Escape 1530 E. 75th G&L, D Escapades 6301 S. Harlem G&L, D, V, 4 Inn Exile 5758 W. 65th G&L, D, V Jeffrey Pub 7041 S. Jeffrey G&L, D, V, 4

Chicago Suburbs

Hideaway 7301 W. Roosevelt Forest Park G, D, V, DS, GB Club Krave 13126 S. Western Blue Island G&L, D, V, DS, GB, 4 Hunters 1932 E. Higgins Elk Grove Village G, D, V, GB, 4 Mission 209 E. Chicago Downtown Elgin G&L, D, V Encompass 24215 Rush St. Lake Station, IN G&L, D, R, DS Velvet Rope 728 Lake St Oak Park G&L, D, V, R

Adult Entertainment

Chicago Northside

The Anvil 1137 W. Granville G, V @mosphere 5355 N. Clark G&L, V, GB Big Chicks 5024 N. Sheridan G&L, D, R

773.973.0006 773.784.1100 773.728.5511

G------------------------------------------------------------------Gay Male L---------------------------------------------------------------------Lesbian G&L-------------------------------------------------Gay Male & Lesbian D-------------------------------------------------------------------Dancing V-----------------------------------------------------------------------Video GB-------------------------------------------------------------Go Go Boys DS--------------------------------------------------------------Drag Show R--------------------------------------------------------Restaurant, Food

30 boi

773.667.6454 773.229.0886 773.582.3510 773.363.8555

Banana Video 4923 N. Clark G, BK Bijou Theater 1349 N. Wells G, GB, BK Man’s Country 5017 N. Clark G, GB, BH Steamworks 3246 N. Halsted G, BH, FC The Ram 35111/2 N. Halsted G, BK, D

708.771.4459 708.597.8379 847.439.8840 847.488.0320 219.962.4640 708.358.8840

773.561.8322 312.943.5397 773.878.2069 773.929.6080 773.525.9528

4-------------------------------------------------------------Open til 4am MS--------------------------------------------------------Mostly Straight LF---------------------------------------------------------Leather / Fetish W-------------------------------------------------------------------Western LM--------------------------------------------------Live Music / Cabaret BH--------------------------------------------------------------Bath House BK----------------------------------Adult Book, Booth & Video Store FC-------------------------------------------------------------Fitness Club