23.14 Gift Guide by boiMAGazine & boiMAG.com

3700 N. Halsted St. #2-S Chicago, IL 60613 773.975.0264

HOLIDAY SHOPPERS

Editorial: boieditorial@aol.com Advertising: boiads@aol.com

EDITORIAL Mike Macharello: Publisher Rick Karlin: Editor

layout & design Titanium Graphics, Inc.

advertising Freddie: freddie@boiMAGazineChicago.com Dave: dave@boiMAG.com National, Rivendell Media: sales@rivendellmedia.com

photographerS Eamonn Sexton Ken Brown, KAB Photography

COVER Holiday Shopper art design; /T.G.

editorial contributors Gregg Shapiro, Ace Magyar, Parker Carr Sue Deaunym, Anita Taylor, Michael Elder

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HOLIDAY SHOPPERS ‘Tis Better To….

By Rick Karlin

“‘Tis better to give than receive,”

so goes the old saying. While we don’t know if that’s true for anyone but tops, we’d be proud to give (or get) these gifts for the holidays.

Biker Babe

(or Daddy) You don’t need to ride a Harley to appreciate this classic leather motorcycle jacket. $125.00 at The Alley, 3228 N. Clark or www.thealleychicago.com.

Shocking!

This lightning bolt pendant and substantial box-chain necklace is electrifying, worn with an evening gown or a t-shirt. Stainless steel base, gold and matte black plated options offer a distinguished looks. Designed by Shane Vitaly Foran. $50 at The Museum of Contemporary Art gift shop or www.mcachicagostore.org.

I’m Floored

Toyota’s tough, durable all-weather floor mats help protect the vehicle’s original factory carpet. The solid one-piece floor mats feature a ribbed channel design that helps contain moisture, grease, dirt, sand and other debris. They are constructed from high-quality recyclable thermoplastic polymer material that resists fading and cracking. $75-$120 at Northside Toyota or www.toyota.com.

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Peddle Pushers

The 2014 Trek 7.2 FX has a lightweight aluminum frame, puncture resistant tires, Shimano drive-train and rack and fender mounts making it easy to accessorize. $439.99 (originally $549.99) Village Cycle, 1337 N. Wells or www.villagecycle.com.

Sound Mind

Whether it’s the latest hits or rare discs, Borderline Music has it. Shown here; Robyn/ Royksopp LP $29, Annie Lennox "Nostalgia" LP $25, Jack White "Lazaretto / Ultra Edition" $30 and Madonna’s Ray of Light Picture Disc $55. All available at Borderline 5351 N. Clark or www.borderlinemusic.com.

Well Suited

Nothing says class like a bespoke suit. The Triple A collection of Super 120's suitings in cashmere is $2,300.00 at Zeglio Custom Clothiers, 306 S. Dearborn, 3341 N. Broadway or www.zeglio.com.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Frank Dandy proves that long johns do not have to be boring! Made of super soft stretchy cotton blend, with a double layered pouch for increased support. Available in 10 fun prints and sizes from S to XL. $59.99 at Egoist, 3526 N. Halsted or www.egoistunderwear.com.

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Finger Me!

A Bluetooth enabled laser projection virtual keyboard pairs quickly and easily with tablets and smartphones as well as most laptops, allowing you to type with virtually any device. $99.99 at www. brookstone.com.

Cold As Ice!

The Corkcicle wine topper maintains chilled white wines and cools room temperature reds. Just freeze and place in bottle, $14. ROX ice ball maker features a flexible round silicone mold for easy removal of ice spheres, $18. Both are available at www.Amazon.com.

Spice It Up!

Whether it’s a leather flogger ($49.95) or fleece-lined restraints ($79.95) you’re certain to find something to add a little zing to your love life at Cupid’s Treasures/Leather Sport, 3515 N. Halsted Street.

Mildred Pierced

Add a little variety to piercings with these 00g 316L surgical stainless steel construction spikes, $20 at Pink Rhino Tattoo, 3519 N. Halsted or www.pinkrhinotattoo.com.

Stocking Stuffers

En Garde

Size does matter, especially when you’re trying to fit things in a stocking. While they may be small, these items are certain to bring big smiles.

Boot stuffers for the man in your life from Touché:

Mug Shot

David Bowie themed coffee mug is decorated with a gold flash on both sides and is dishwasher and microwave safe. $13.95 at The Museum of Contemporary Art gift shop, or www.mcachicagostore.org.

Time is Precious

Daniel Wellington watches are suitable for every occasion, from a black tie event to a sunny day at the beach. $175-$229 at Cram Fashion, 3331 N. Broadway, www.cramchicago.com.

Tree Hugger

Porcelain snowflake ornament inscribed with "Best. Lesbian. Ever.” will leave no doubt as to your feelings. $20 at www.Amazon.com.

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the bar’s signature black & white T-shirt, a tote for leather gear or a coffee mug for the morning after, $15 for T-shirt and for the tote, $5 for the mug. All from Touché, 6412 N. Clark or www.touchechicago.com.

Disco Fever

This two inch rainbow mirror disco ball ornament makes every tree a party. $5.95 from www.alwaysproud.com.

Give Him 9 Inches

For the obsessive chocolate lover, the Big Bar, available in either dark and milk chocolate, is only $15, along with other delicious treats at www.allchocolatekitchen.com.

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Rick’s

Holiday Dining The Peninsula Hotel offers a number of holiday dining options. Christmas Eve features a prix fixe, five-course dinner for $145 and at its more casual Shanghai Terrace, $108 per person. Christmas Day, a brunch buffet will be served in The Lobby featuring a variety of carved meats, a seafood buffet, sushi and sashimi and a dim sum station for $155 ($50 children 12 years and under.)

is repeated as part of a dining event, beginning at 6:30. The tasting only is $30, dinner is $55 (tax and gratuity included). Reservations are required. The Fairmont will host its first “Chocolate and Cheer Cookie Exchange” on Thursday, Dec. 4 from 5:30-7:30 p.m. After sampling a variety of cookies from the hotel’s chefs, attendees will be able to select three dozen gourmet cookies. Tickets are $50 space is limited and reservations are required. Tavern on Rush will hold a brunch with Santa on Sunday, Dec. 14. A special children’s menu will also be available.

Dining Options On Christmas Eve & Day Throughout the holiday season the hotel’s Sky Rink is open. Skating is $15 for adults, $10 for children 12 and under. All funds raised are donated to Lurie Children’s Hospital and Hephzibah Children’s Association. Drury Lane Theatre has a children’s theatre breakfast buffet with Santa, Saturdays, Nov. 22 through Dec. 20 at 11 a.m. for $10. For grown-ups there’s a Bloody Mary bar (available at an extra charge). Can’t make it to breakfast? A dinner buffet with the jolly old elf will be held on Wednesday, Dec., 17 at 5 p.m. It’s $15; both meals are free for children 2 and under. If a meal with hundreds of children isn’t your idea of a holiday celebration, Drury Lane also offers Christmas Day brunch buffet from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. including free champagne, bellinis and mimosas and a Bloody Mary Bar is available at an additional charge. Geja's Cafe kicks off the holiday season with its 35th annual “Champagne Tasting and Festival” on Sunday, Dec. 7 at 1 p.m. On Monday, Dec. 8, the event

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On Christmas Eve these restaurants will be open, serving their regular menu, many will also offer seasonal special and prix fixe dinners where noted. Those open on Christmas Day as well are indicated in bold: Aria (four-course dinner for $62), Artango (special holiday $42 prix fire menu, $19 kids), BellyQ, Bistro Voltaire, Bistronomic, Bombay Bliss, Cafe Des Architectes/ CDA (three-course prix fixe menu $65, Children under 12 are $19), Chez Moi, Davanti Enoteca on Taylor Street ("Feast of the Seven Fishes"), D’noche, El Tapeo, Fadó Irish Pub, The Fifty, The Florentine, Fogo de Chao Chicago and Rosemont locations, all Francesca's locations, Jameson's Charhouse, La Notte Café ("Feast of the Seven Fishes"), Lawry's, all Maggiano's locations, Mercat a La Planxa (Christmas tasting menu offered, $75 per adult, $35 per child), Michael Jordan's Steakhouse, all Morton's Steakhouses, Niche (fourcourse tasting menu, $80, optional wine parings at $26 and $44 dollars), NoMI, Paramount Room, Roka Akor Chicago and Skokie locations ($75 tasting menu, in addition to full a la carte menu), Siena Tavern, Sunda, Trattoria Isabella, all Weber Grill locations.

Motor Mouth

JUNK IN THE TRUNK By Parker Carr

It’s bad enough battling the crowds in the malls doing your holiday shopping, but then you get to the car and have to figure out how to store everything for the ride home. Everyone knows that an SUV or minivan can haul just about everything, but what about those of us who don’t need a big car, except for the occasional shopping trip or vacation? The following cars all offer surprisingly roomy storage options, saving you the delivery charge for the flat screen TV. The Toyota Prius hatchback is a winner, with 21.6 cu. ft. of cargo space behind the folding backseat, a feature some sedans lose in their transformation to a hybrid. It also features 39.6 total cu. ft. of total storage. Move up to the Prius V and you get 34.3 cu. ft. of cargo space behind the split folding rear seat and a cavernous 67.3 cu. ft. with the seats folded. If sportiness trumps fuel economy for you, consider the pumped-up high-performance Audi RS 7 variant of the A7, with a 560-horsepower twinturbocharged V-8. While its cargo area isn't the widest, we all know that sometime length trumps width. The RS 7 offers one of the longest cargo areas in a small car. It maxes out at 24.5 cu. ft., which is roughly equivalent to the storage capacity of a compact-to-midsize SUV. The Mini Cooper, completely redesigned for 2015, now has 34 cu. ft. with the rear seats flipped down. That measurement is thanks to the adjustable cargo floor/shelf which can be flipped up revealing a cargo well as deep as what you'll find in most minivans. The Countryman model does even better, will 16 cu. ft., at least as much as the trunk of standard sedan, with its seats up and 42 cubic feet of cargo with the split folding rear seats folded down. Mazda's CX-5 is a compact SUV with excellent fuel economy and excellent cargo space. The folding seats release in two locations; a set of levers in the cargo area and on the backseat itself.

The Subaru Outback is known for its storage capability, but in the 2015 model the cargo area has grown slightly, to 35.5 cu. ft. of space behind the rear seats, up from 34.3 cu. ft. Fold the standard 60/40-split backseat down to create 73.3 cu. ft., up from 71.3. There are also new release levers, so one tug folds the springtensioned seat flat. Infiniti QX70 (formerly the FX37) treads the line between performance and SUV capabilities. Its rearsloping sports car looks will surprise you when you discover that it has 24.8 cu. ft. of storage space behind the backseat, an astonishing 62 cu. ft. with the seats down. The Honda Fit redesigned for 2015, is a marvel of space efficiency. You’d never guess from its small exterior dimensions that it rivals the cargo capacity of a large SUV. The cargo area is 3.1 inches longer than the 2014 model, making for 16.6 cu. ft. with the backseat upright and 52.7 cu. ft. of cargo space with the backseat folded. The cargo opening is surprisingly large and the front seat can recline nearly flat, making it possible to transport cargo up to 7 ft. 9 inches long. Volvo's V60 luxury sedan offers an alternative that harkens back to the station wagon, making it a good alternative to a small-tomidsize luxury SUV. The 40/20/40-split folding rear seat offers cargo and seating flexibility. As an added bonus, a flip-up panel in the rear boasts grocery bag hooks. Cargo nets extend from the rear seat backs over the entire cargo area. The Chevrolet Sonic offers up to 19 cu. ft. of cargo space with the rear seats in place and nearly 48 cu. ft. with the seats folded down, making it among the top of its class. Honda Insight boasts large rear doors making it easy to get at stuff stored in the middle of the car. With the seats folded down you get more than 31 cu. ft of storage capability. Even with the seats up, you’ll be able to accommodate 16 cu. ft. of cargo volume.

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FIT TIPS By Michael Elder

Cap Your Shoulder Workout:

The DB Lateral Raise

Here’s how it works: 1. Pick a couple of dumbbells and stand with a straight torso and the dumbbells by your side at arm’s length with the palms of the hand facing you. This will be your starting position. If I had to pick one muscle group that was deemed to be the weakest area of the body on most people, it would probably be the shoulders. Many people forego specific shoulder training as the shoulders are involved when working the chest and back. However, I believe it is important to isolate the shoulder muscles, namely the deltoids. There are three deltoid muscles that “cap” your shoulder: the frontal, medial, and rear. Shoulder press exercises are very important because they train all three of the deltoids. However, I think it is important to train each of them individually, especially the medial deltoid, which is the largest and the prettiest of the three. A nicely defined medial deltoid is impressive because it shows that you are getting specific with your training. Probably the best exercise to train the medial deltoid is the Dumbbell Lateral Raise. For variation, this exercise can also be performed sitting down. It is very common in this exercise to arch the lower back to get the weight up once fatigue starts to set in. Care should be taken to avoid this cheating tactic as it can potentially strain the lower back while not targeting the medial deltoid properly. Try this one- it works!

2. While maintaining the torso in a stationary position (no swinging), lift the dumbbells to your side with a slight bend on the elbow and the hands slightly tilted forward as if pouring water in a glass. Continue to go up until your arms are parallel to the floor. Exhale as you execute this movement and pause for a second at the top. 3. Lower the dumbbells back down slowly to the starting position as you inhale. 4. Repeat for the recommended amount of repetitions.

Michael Elder has been working as a fitness professional in Chicago for the last fifteen years. He comes from a background in gymnastics and is certified as a personal trainer through the American Council on Exercise (ACE). He can be reached directly through his website: www.MichaelElder.com.

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iMUSIC By Gregg Shapiro

More Blasts From The Past After launching like a rocket with her 1996 major-label debut album Trailer Park, Beth Orton’s electronic folk hybrid helped to pave the way for artists such as Dido. As good as Trailer Park was, its follow-up, Central Reservation, newly reissued in an expanded double disc edition with liner notes by gay poet T. Cole Rachel, was even better. Refining the trip-hop elements into a more sophisticated sound, Central Reservation flows gracefully from the rev of “Stolen Car” to the lush ballad “Sweetest Decline” and the programmed funk of “Couldn’t Cause Me Harm,” indicating that Orton is no one trick pony. The subtle country of “Pass In Time” and the

tape loop of “Stars All Seem To Weep” bracket the exquisite title cut (which also appears in a remixed version at the close of the disc). The second CD of the set includes eight Sessions at West 54th Street selections, four b-sides and four demos and rough mixes. This one’s a keeper! If you listen or dance to EDM, do yourself a favor and take a listen to Cabaret Voltaire. Without Cabaret Voltaire (and other pioneers in the genre), this popular genre of music probably wouldn’t be what it is today. Think of the 19-track compilation #7885 Electropunk to Technopop as a valuable musical history lesson (it is!) full of cool and educational tunes (“Nag, Nag Nag,” “Breath Deep,” “Just Fascination,” “Crackdown,” “Sensoria,” “Big Funk” (in which you can also hear its influence on Ministry, Nine Inch Nails and other industrial acts), “I Want You” and the classic “James Brown.” Bob Marley, perhaps the most famous reggae musician of all time, was a true man of peace, who died young in 1981. The 30th anniversary expanded deluxe edition reissue of Legend: The Best of Bob Marley & The Wailers. The second Blu-ray disc in the set contains the album (with some alternate versions) presented in 5.1 Surround Sound.

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Spread out over two discs, the 40 tracks on Kiss’s 40 Years: Decades of Decibels, features live and studio tracks performed by original members Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss, as well as those who joined the band in the years that followed. Beginning in 1974, Kiss perfected the faux-glam (in make-up, high-heeled boots and studded leather duds) metal look and sound. This compilation includes songs from the four founding members’ solo discs, its brilliant ballad “Beth,” its official disco hit “I Was Made For Loving You” and one song from each album the band recorded through 2012.

theater scene Holiday happenings By Rick Karlin

Break out your high heels and fishnets because Hell in a Handbag is bringing back “Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer,” David Cerda’s beloved parody of the classic children’s television special. Now celebrating its 17th year, it is the longest running holiday show featuring a transvestite reindeer in history. HIAH star Ed Jones is Mrs. Claus. This year a new Rudolph, Grant Drager, debuts. In addition there will be “A Very Special Rudolph” HIAH’s annual fund-raiser at DANK Haus German American Cultural Center on Dec 7. This year they Deck the Deidre Halls as the iconic actress and pop culture figure, Deidre Hall, appears in a very special version of the HIAH’s holiday show. For information go to www. handbagproductions.org. The Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus (CGMC) holiday show will be “Yule Tube: Holiday Favorites from Television & Film.” In this year’s annual holiday offering, the Christmas Queen wants to settle down and watch her favorite classic holiday specials on television, but her set is on the fritz. Her subjects from Chicago Gay Men's Chorus save the day as they re-enact her (and your) favorite holiday specials from Rankin and Bass (Rudolph, Frosty and the Grinch), Charlie Brown, The Muppets and a dozen more. As has become a CGMC tradition, the show will be presented in three venues on three different dates; Friday, Dec. 5 at The Harris Theater, Saturday, Dec. 6 at The North Shore Center for the Performing Arts and Saturday, Dec. 20 at The Logan Center for the Arts, 915 E. 60th. Later this winter, members of CGMC perform in the group’s winter cabaret, “Let’s Do It” celebrating the music of Kander and Ebb, on Feb. 24 at The Laugh Factory and March 7 at Mayslake Peabody Estate. Then, the spring show “We're Still Here: CGMC Celebrates Sondheim at 85,” plays May 16, 23, and 24. For more info. go to www.cgmc.org.

Stage Notes Goodman Theatre’s annual production of “A Christmas Carol” runs through Dec. 28. This is the 38th year Goodman has presented the show. … “It's a Wonderful Life: Live in Chicago!,” a 1940s radio broadcast of Frank Capra's holiday classic “It's a Wonderful Life” plays through Dec. 28 at American Blues Theater at The Greenhouse Theater Center. “... David Sedaris' beloved account of his time in the trenches as an Elf at Macy's , "Santaland Diaries” runs though Dec. 28 at Theater Wit… “Alone For The Holidays: December Through A Telescopic Lens” runs Dec. 520 at The Public House Theatre… The Annoyance Theatre Christmas pageant runs through Dec. 21, featuring a retelling of two classic holiday stories: “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Rudolph the RedNosed Reindeer.” … Albright Theatre Company presents “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” Dec. 5-14.

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Chicago's

in the know ... ON THE GO!

By Sue Deaunym

Holidays on (Cracked) Ice

Can you pick up a man while wearing an ugly Christmas sweater? You'll get a chance on Friday Dec. 5 at the holiday-themed “Men’s Speed Dating” night at Center on Halsted. There’ll be a cash bar, ugly sweater contest, prizes and eggnog. It’s $10 if you pre-register, $15 at door. For tickets go to www.centeronhalsted.org... On Thursday, Dec. 11 Lambda Legal presents its fourth annual winter cocktail party, “Holidays On Ice.” Help celebrate and support the work of Lambda Legal, starting at 6:30 p.m. at Sidetrack… Touché lights the menorah and welcomes Hanukkah Harry at its party on Dec. 10, celebrating the Jewish festival of lights.

Shopping and Returning

If you haven’t bought all your holiday gifts yet, stop by the Bucktown Holiday Art Show at the Holstein Field House 2200 N. Oakley, on Dec. 13 and 14, or check out the One of a Kind sale at the Merchandise Mart Dec. 4-7 (and it's a benefit for Lurie Children's Hospital so you're doing good while shopping)… Cram hosts its annual holiday party, on Dec. 11. The theme is “Naughty or Nice” this year. If it’s a Cram party, you know that means hot models, hot music and nice cocktails. It runs from 8-10, and there are free gift bags for first 30 guests... Touché is doing "Night of 100 Drag Queens" one better by presenting "Night of 1000 Santas" on Dec. 6. Bring in a donation of an unwrapped toy for the "Toys for Tots" drive . Do I need to mention, they mean children's toys, not sex toys? That would be "Toys for Tarts". Then on Dec. 12, they'll be collecting nonperishables, canned and household goods for Groceryland... Speaking of donations, Ram, Cupid's Leather Sport and Little Jim's are accepting donations of similar items for Vital Bridges, through Dec. 31.

Naughty and Nice

Man’s Country hosts “The Eagle Rises”, a benefit for The Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) on Dec. 13. It’s $50 if you buy your tix on-line in advance and $60. Not only do you get a lifetime membership to Man’s Country (where you can be naughty 24/7), the ticket also includes food, an open bar from 10-2 and a one-day admission pass to LA&M (nice!)… See naughty bits bouncing up and down Halsted during this year’s “Most Fabulous Santa Speedo Run” on Saturday, Dec. 6. Hundreds of scantily clad folk brave the cold to run 1 mile through Boystown wearing Santa Hats and Speedos. This year to benefit the Center On Halsted Senior Center. They’ll check their clothes at Sidetrack, where the run starts at noon. Afterwards they return to the bar and after being in that cold, they may need a few volunteer elves to act help warm up those naughty bits… I know just where to hang the mistletoe at the human Christmas tree decorating party at Touché on Dec. 12.

In Other News…

The next installment of “OUTspoken!” GLBTQ story-telling series takes place at Sidetrack on Tuesday, Dec. 2, starting at 6 p.m.… The Aids Foundation “World of Chocolate” takes place in the Great Hall at Union Station on Thursday, Dec. 4… Snow White and her seven drag queens return to Hydrate with the "Ever After" show on Friday, Dec. 5. Tickets are $20 and available at the door or on the web at www.midtangent.com... Halsted’s live music nights are bringing them in. On Friday, Nov. 28 it will the ‘80s cover band The Breakfast Club. Relive your youth from 10:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. Best of all, while it’s a cover band, there’s no cover charge!... Formerly Known As (FKA) is a queer dance and will be at Big Chicks on Friday, Dec.12. boiMAG 29

ASK ACE by Ace Magyar

see a show, returning the same night. That can be very romantic, and you’d be surprised at how cheap it is to fly on Christmas Day. This is your life for you to enjoy, so go ahead and enjoy it with the ones you love the most.

Family Friendly

Holiday Hoopla

My boyfriend and I are both in our mid-20s and have been going out for about a year. He’s asked me to spend Christmas Eve with his family and I am very happy to do so. They are a wonderful, supportive group of people who have completely accepted him and welcome me as they would the boyfriend of one of their daughters. I haven’t invited my boyfriend to spend Christmas Day with my family and I think he’s expecting me to. The difference is that my family is not as nice as his. I will spend the entire day ignoring snide remarks by my parents who don’t think I’ve accomplished enough in my life. My sister is a religious fanatic who will, no doubt bring me pamphlets from her church on how I can be saved from my homosexuality. My brother has a drinking problem and by late afternoon will be picking fights with everyone. How can I explain to him why I’m not returning the invitation for the holidays?

Dear FF,

The question isn’t why you haven’t invited your boyfriend to your family’s Christmas Day get-together, it’s why you go at all. This does not seem to be a group of people who respect or value you very much. I realize that they are your family and you feel an obligation, but you shouldn’t. Would you attend an event with strangers who treat you in such a shabby manner? I doubt it. There comes a time when you need to step away from your family and start your own traditions, and if anyone ever had a reason to do so, it sounds like you do. Tell your family that you’ve made other plans this year, then explain the situation to your boyfriend and suggest that you spend Christmas Day together. Find something to do together that you can make your own tradition. Perhaps a romantic dinner and a visit to see the Zoo Lights in Lincoln Park, or if you’re looking for something super special, catch a flight to New York to have dinner and

My wife and her family make a huge deal about Christmas. Everyone goes up to her family’s lake house. There are about 20 adults and six kids. They spend the first day chopping down a tree from a nearby farm, then hauling out the decorations. I have to admit that when they are done the house looks fabulous. Then they all go for a sleigh ride or snowmobiling before coming home to make batches and batches of cookies. It’s like being in the middle of a Martha Stewart special. It’s all very charming and they are lovely people, but I find it a bit overwhelming. I grew up as an only child, with just one maiden aunt. For us Christmas Eve usually meant dinner in the dining room of a nice hotel followed by a movie or play. The next day we’d eat breakfast, exchange gifts and that was about it. I love my wife and her family, but after the holiday, I am exhausted and my nerves are shot. I don’t want to ask my wife to stop joining her family, would it be wrong to tell her to go on her own?

Dear HH,

Yes. I suppose that could be the simple answer, but let’s look at ways that can help you cope with all the hoopla. Have a frank talk with your wife and explain exactly what you have written me. Stress that you love her and her family and want to spend the holiday with her (and them) but that you find it all a bit overwhelming. Do the same with her family. Take part in as much as you can, perhaps something low-key, such as untangling the lights or unpacking the ornaments. When it gets to be a bit much, excuse yourself politely and retire to your room with a book for a while (try not to make it too long) and then join in again. The point is to be honest so that no-one thinks they’ve offended you or feels that you’re shunning them. I’ve found that families that are that exuberant about the holidays do realize that it can be a bit much for some people.

Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PhD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com

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