Gran Alacant Advertiser December 2017 by Gran Alacant Advertiser

DECEMBER

2017 ISSUE 155

YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY MAGAZINE SINCE 2005

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We would like to thank the TOURISM COUNCILLOR for enabling Jose Manuel Blasco to join our magazines monthly column. Many of you will surely have met Jose at the Tourist Information Counter in Santa Pola. He always exudes enthusiasm for all that is happening in our area. Here are his suggestions of “Where to visit” and ‘What to see” for this month

Hi everybody,

In December we will have parades of Moors and Christians held in Alicante and in Monforte del Cid from 5th to 9th. In Santa Pola, like every year, we will celebrate on December the 10th at about 8p.m in the harbour area the arrival of our Madonna Virgen de Loreto. There will be a little performance about the arrival and then procession from the harbour to the Castle. There are also local fiestas in Alfaz del Pi, Agost, Callosa d’En Sarria. Pilgrimages are taking place in Denia and Sella. Also, do not forget the spectacular flour battle that takes place in Ibi on the 28th - the “Els Enfarinats” a “battle of flour”. On the 28th, the pilgrimage “Venida de la Virgen” will take place, a pilgrimage that stars on Tamarit beach with a representation of the arrival and discovering of the Elche Madona. This month at “Casa de Cultura” in Santa Pola there is a fantastic programme about concerts, all of them will start at the same time 7p.m. On 7th Torrevieja Symphonic Orchestra, on 16th Christmas Concert by “Associació Musical Mare de Déu de Loreto”, on 20th concert by “Gala Rondalla y Coro El Castell”, on 21st Christmas Concert by “Coral Villa de Santa Pola”, on 26th Christmas Concert by “Banda Unió Musical Villa” de Santa Pola and on 2nd of January New Year’s Concert by “Coral Levantina Santa Pola and Children’s CoroVirgen de Loreto”. On the 24th there will be held a little parade. The biggest parade will be held on the 5th of January “the Three Kings Parade”. The best one of these parades is the one held in Alcoy, it is simply magical! Also, I would like to make a special mention to one the most important sport event held in Santa Pola - the International Santa Pola Half Marathon held on the 21st of January at 10:30 a.m. Come and enjoy this fantastic event! ¡Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2018 to all of you! Hello Everyone, Once again what a great show by M.A.B.S. It gets better every year, well done everyone involved. We hope you all have your Christmas dinners booked, lots of great venues to choose from and also there are quite a few events around Gran Alacant for Christmas and New Year celebrations. Have a great time whatever you choose to do and see you all soon. Have a good month, Ged & Lou Our little dog Zia and our cat Casper have hidden themselves away in the magazine, can you find them? Last month Zia was on page 34 and Casper on page 56

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We at your Gran Alacant Advertiser continue to bring you all of the NEWS, including that from a representative from the Town Hall, as we have since May 2005.

If you have any QUESTIONS or PROBLEMS you would like us to discuss, please just email them to us at the magazine - granalacantadvertiser@hotmail.co.uk Q: WOODEN BOARDWALKS Dear Lou & Ged, We have just returned from our holiday in Gran Alacant. We had a lovely time on the beach but couldn’t help to notice the wooden board-walks are very dry and have many splinters, which makes it dangerous to walk barefoot. Are the board-walks going to be treated over the winter? This would protect the wood and be cheaper than replacing the board-walks in the future. Also, there don’t seem to be enough toilets on the beach. Is there a possibility of adding few more toilets?? It would be also nice to have few showers to rinse the sand off before leaving the beach. There are few water outlets to wash the feet, so adding few showers shouldn’t be that difficult?? We are looking forward to returning to GA next year. Kind Regards, Brigitte & Claudia Town Hall Answer: Both the property and the maintenance of wooden board-walks are competence of the Valencian Agency of Tourism. The Townhall tries to do everything possible to repair those that are in the worse state with general services. There are toilets in all the urban beaches in Santa Pola. We have installed three fixed toilets (opened the whole year): at the entry of Gran Playa, in Santiago Bernabéu and at the entry of Calas de Santa Pola del Este. These are three toilets that did not exist before. For the moment, there is no intention of installing showers because they are not sustainable nor eco-friendly, especially with the drought we bear today. Some time ago, people used them even to wash clothes…

Unfortunately, our budget isn’t sufficient to have the whole equipment that we would like and we work with what the Valencian Agency of Tourism assign to us. BARRY’S BITS OF NEWS: Firstly…wishing you all a lovely Christmas. Q: TAXIs…your chance to be a taxi driver Last month the Town Hall gave an opportunity for all of you prospective taxi drivers on Gran Alacant. The City Council of Santa Pola approved on October 27 at Local Government Board the bases of the test to apply for a taxidriving license. The deadline for submitting applications to be able to take the exam was open until November 20, so hope that those of you interested, saw the notices for you to apply. The test took place on November 27 and consisted of two exercises. The first was in identifying the streets, public buildings, monuments or places of interest provided by the Court. In the second exercise, 25 questions on the Regulatory Ordinance of the Urban Transport Service for travellers in passenger vehicles with a taximeter device had to be answered. Townhall: how much does it cost for a taxi driver licence? Town Hall Answer: According to Tax Ordinance regulating the fees for the grant of taxi driver licenses, the grant of license costs 212,18 € and the annual license costs 35,76 €. Q: Sports Centre I have mentioned before just how fortunate we are here on Gran Alacant to have such a great Sports Centre. One slight problem is the outdoor 5 a side small football pitch. With such a hard surface, injuries are very

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common through falling on the surface. Is there any money available to have this area astro turfed? The full size pitches in Santa Pola have this much better surface and the area in GA is so much smaller and would think be, more cost effective. The hire charge for this pitch is only 10 euro per hour, so I would think a higher charge would help to pay for the new surface.

missed on their diagram? The way it was checked we are sure they were hoping we had not noticed them.

Townhall: Are there any funds available for this?

I cannot believe that they made me pay all of this for the smallest of marks on the rear side panel above the wheel arch. They must have made a fortune on this car if they reclaimed all of the marks on it. How many other people will be charged for the same mark if it has not been pointed out?

Town Hall Answer: First of all, it is necessary to understand that it’s not only one 5 a side football pitch, but a multi-sport pitch. For that reason, it needs a material that is compatible with all the disciplines. Every year, in every investment that we do, we look for the best surface so that football, handball, volleyball and basketball could coexist in the same space. **************** We were back in the UK to visit family and friends last month and in around 20 trips back had never had any trouble with any hire car company until this time. So thought we would warn readers of our experience. When we picked up our hire car it had many marks on it that were ticked off on a plan of the car. The guy who went all around the car pointing out the marks. We added two more that he had missed. We returned the hire car after a week in the UK after our trip over from Spain. On our return the young lad was all over the car, with his cloth and cleaner solvent.

I argued in the office but the young guy at the desk said I would have to pay a bill of 470.81 for the damage and not to worry as I could claim the money back from my insurance company.

When we looked around the car at all of the bumps, scrapes and gouged alloys, this car must have made a small fortune for the rental company, indeed more than they make from renting the car out. We have never had problems with other rental companies before, so be careful if using “Green Motions” and we will in future go around the entire car with the video camera for peace of mind before taking the car out on the road. **************** Saw some interesting figures about the salt lakes, always wondering where all of the salt goes. 60 percent goes to the industrial food market. 25 percent for sales in bags in supermarkets. And the rest to spread on icy roads **************** So many times we have published photos of the derailed hotel in Los Arenales. Here is a 1963 picture of the original hotel. Wouldn’t it be great to get back to that again!

He picked out the mark, which you can see in the photo. We had to get it in a certain light to even see it. It was obvious he was looking for the same marks. What would have happened if we had not pointed out two other marks that they said they had

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The Royal British Legion Caring and campaigning for our ex-Service community. The Royal British Legion in Spain. Gran Alacant & La Marina Branch BR 3606. Once again a Big Thank You to all who have donated to this years Poppy Appeal And to the local Businesses for having the Boxes at their establishments. Final Total to be announced in January. The Gran Alacant & La Marina Branch meets on the First Monday of the month 18:00 at “La Taberna next to Monte & Mar Resturant & Bowls Club, Plaza Mayor (MASA Square) Gran Alacant. Next meeting on Dec 4th 18:00 New members always Welcome and you don’t need to be Ex Service to join. Further details from - Robin 96 669 5423 or Brian 639 917 971. Email:granalacant.secretary@gmail.com

REMEMBRANCE SERVICE

More than 200 people gathered in the main square of San Fulgencio in glorious sunshine on Sunday morning, for the annual Service of Remembrance. Organised jointly by the San Fulgencio Town Hall, the Parochial Church, and the Gran Alacant & La Marina branch of the Royal British Legion, the service was conducted in Spanish & English. Leading the prayers and commemoration, were the Catholic parish priest Father Ramón Belda Diez, and the Anglican priest Father Richard A. Seabrooke SSC, assisted by Lay reader Peter Smith. Among the wreathes laid were one on behalf of the Spanish by Councillor Maria Angeles of the San Fulgencio Town Hall, and one on behalf of the British, by Consular Officer Hugo Griffin from the British Consulate in Alicante. Other dignitories present included the Chief of the Local Police Manuel Bailen, and Councillors Paulino,Vincente and Manolo. The Guardia Civil were represented by Lieutenant Salvador Cele, resplendant in his formal uniform including the tricorn cap. The Last Post and Reveille were played by former Royal Marines bandsman John Atkins. The Gran Alacant & La Marina branch of the Royal British Legion meets on the first Monday of the month at 6pm. For more information contact granalacant.secretary@gmail.com or phone the Chairman Robin Hargrave on 966 695 423

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Gran Alacant Advertiser ahora en Español! Para Información sobre precios de publicación contactanos al 676 74 19 83 Las noticias locales traducidas del ingles por Camila. Todas las fotos se pueden ver en la Información redactada en Ingles P: PASARELAS DE MADERA Hola Lou y Ged, Acabamos de volver de nuestras vacaciones en Gran Alacant. Nos lo pasamos de maravilla en la playa pero no pudimos evitar notar que las pasarelas de madera están muy secas y tienen muchas astillas, lo que hace que sea peligroso caminar descalzo. ¿Van a tratar las pasarelas durante el invierno? Esto protegería la madera y sería más económico que reemplazarlas en el futuro. Además, parece que no hay suficientes baños en la playa. ¿Existe la posibilidad de agregar algunos más? También estaría bien tener alguna ducha para enjuagarnos la arena antes de salir de la playa. Hay pocas salidas de agua para lavar los pies, por lo que agregar algunas no debería ser tan difícil. Esperamos volver a GA el próximo año. Saludos cordiales, Brigitte y Claudia Respuesta del ayuntamiento: Tanto la propiedad como el mantenimiento de las pasarelas de madera son competencia de la Agencia Valenciana de Turismo. El Ayuntamiento intenta hacer todo lo posible para reparar aquellos que están en peores condiciones. Hay baños en todas las playas urbanas de Santa Pola. Hemos instalado tres sanitarios fijos (abiertos todo el año) en la entrada de Gran Playa, en Santiago Bernabéu y en la entrada de Calas de Santa Pola del Este. Estos sanitarios antes no existían. Por el momento, no hay intención de instalar duchas porque no son sostenibles ni ecológicas, especialmente con la sequía que soportamos hoy por hoy. Hace algún

tiempo, la gente los usaba incluso para lavar la ropa. Desafortunadamente, nuestro presupuesto no es suficiente para tener todo el equipo que nos gustaría y trabajamos con lo que nos asigna la Agencia Valenciana de Turismo. NOTICIAS DE BARRY En primer lugar… desearles a todos una hermosa Navidad. P: TAXI ... tu oportunidad de ser taxista El mes pasado, el Ayuntamiento les dio una oportunidad a todos los posibles taxistas de Gran Alacant. El Ayuntamiento de Santa Pola aprobó el 27 de octubre las bases de la prueba para solicitar una licencia de taxi. La fecha límite para enviar las solicitudes para hacer el examen estuvo abierta hasta el 20 de noviembre, así que espero que aquellos que estuvieran interesados hayan visto los avisos para presentar dicha solicitud. La prueba se realizó el 27 de noviembre y consistió en dos ejercicios. El primero fue identificar las calles, edificios públicos, monumentos o lugares de interés proporcionados por el Tribunal. En el segundo ejercicio, se respondieron 25 preguntas sobre la Ordenanza Reglamentaria del Servicio de Transporte Urbano para viajeros en vehículos de pasajeros con dispositivo de taxímetro. AYUNTAMIENTO: ¿CUÁNTO CUESTA UNA LICENCIA PARA CONDUCIR UN TAXI? Respuesta del Ayuntamiento: De acuerdo con la Ordenanza Tributaria que regula las tarifas para la concesión de

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licencias de taxis, nos hace saber que las mismas tendrían un coste de concesión de 212,18 €, asimismo la licencia anual costaría 35,76 €. P: CENTRO DEPORTIVO Ya he mencionado anteriormente, lo afortunados que somos aquí en Gran Alacant al tener un espectacular centro deportivo. Tenemos un problema menor y es que el campo de fútbol al aire libre que tenemos es muy pequeño, y además con una superficie tan dura que las lesiones son muy comunes al caer sobre la misma. ¿Hay dinero disponible para que esta área sea asfaltada? Los campos de Santa Pola tienen una superficie más amplia y mejor; la parcela de GA es mucho más pequeña y por ello más rentable renovarlo. El alquiler de este terreno es de sólo 10€ por hora, por lo que creo que una tarifa más alta ayudaría a pagar la nueva superficie. AYUNTAMIENTO: ¿HAY ALGÚN FONDO DISPONIBLE PARA ESTO? Respuesta del ayuntamiento: En primer lugar, es necesario comprender que no se trata solo de un campo de fútbol 5, sino de un campo multideporte. Por esa razón, se necesita un material que sea compatible con todas las disciplinas. Cada año, en cada inversión que hacemos, buscamos la mejor superficie para que el fútbol, el balonmano, el voleibol y el baloncesto puedan coexistir en el mismo espacio. ********** El mes pasado volvimos al Reino Unido para visitar familiares y amigos, en alrededor de 20 viajes nunca habíamos tenido ningún problema con la compañía de alquiler de coches hasta este momento. Así que pensamos que advertiríamos a los lectores de nuestra experiencia. Cuando recogimos nuestro coche de alquiler tenía muchos arañazos y toques que estaban marcados en un plano. Un joven hizo el chequeo, recorrió todo el coche señalando las marcas, a las que añadimos dos más que el no se había dado cuenta. Devolvimos el coche de alquiler después

de pasar una semana en Reino Unido. El joven examinó el coche con un trapo y disolvente. Encontró una marquita, que se puede ver en las fotos. Incluso tuvimos que usar luz para verla. Era obvio que estaba buscando las mismas marcas. ¿Qué hubiera pasado si no hubiéramos señalado las otras dos marcas que habían omitido en su diagrama? La forma en que revisaron el coche, estamos seguros que esperaban que no lo hubiéramos notado. Discutí en la oficina, pero el chico del mostrador me dijo que tenía que pagar una factura de 470.81€ por el daño, y no preocuparme porque podía reclamar el dinero en mi compañía de seguros. No puedo creer que me hayan obligado a pagar todo esto. Habrán hecho una fortuna con este coche si han reclamado cada marca y arañazo. ¿A cuántas personas se les cobrará por la misma marca si no se ha señalado? Cuando miramos alrededor del coche todos los rasguños y dentadas, este coche tiene que haber hecho una pequeña fortuna para la empresa de alquiler, de hecho más de lo que ganan al alquilarlo. Nunca antes habíamos tenido problemas con otras compañías de alquiler, así que tened cuidado si usan "Green Motions". En el futuro recorreremos todo el coche con una cámara de video para mayor tranquilidad antes de sacarlo a la carretera. ********** Cuando pasamos por las Salinas de Santa Pola, siempre nos preguntamos a dónde va toda la sal. El 60% va al mercado de alimentos industriales, el otro 25% para las ventas en bolsas en supermercados y el resto para distribuir en carreteras congeladas. ********** Muchas veces hemos publicado fotos del hotel en ruinas en Los Arenales. Aquí hay una foto original del hotel de 1963. ¿No sería genial volver a tener eso otra vez? Si desea enviar noticias o información para la próxima edición, envíe un correo electrónico a: info@granalacantadvertiser.com

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MONTEMAR BOWLS & SOCIAL CLUB

Sponsored by The Belfry, The Pub, Bowling Abroad and Avalon

MONTEMAR BOWLS & SOCIAL CLUB Monte Mar Bowls and Social Club Sponsored by The Belfry, The Pub, Bowling Abroad and Avalon Tuesday 31st October More than fifty club members had a most enjoyable evening at our Halloween Dinner Dance at the Belfry. The entertainment provided by Tony Francis of songs through the decades was first class and enjoyed by all. Congratulations to Wendy and Iain Sheridan who were selected by members of the social sub â&#x20AC;&#x201C; committee as the best dressed Halloween couple.

Gatward and Ronnie Cairns. The whole weekend was enjoyed by all the sixteen teams taking part.

Saturday and Sunday 4th & 5th of November The clubs annual Aussie pairs competition was held in lovely November weather. The last round of matches on the Sunday afternoon saw four teams in contention to win the trophy. With one point separating the top four teams it was no surprise that the winning team won on shot difference. The runners up were Alan Ashberry and Dave Melville and the winners were Janet

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MONTEMAR BOWLS & SOCIAL CLUB Sponsored by The Belfry, The Pub, Bowling Abroad and Avalon

Saturday 11th of November Bonalba Bowls Club Aussie Pairs Thirty two teams from clubs on the Costa Blanca took part in the above competition. After a long days bowling it turned out to be a good day for the teams from Monte Mar. Pauline and Chris Merry came third and the winners were another Monte Mar team Sheila Roberts and Bill Young. So congratulations to our successful teams and an enjoyable day was had by all.

Wednesday 15th of November Winter League Monte Mar v Emerald Isle Great mornings bowling at home to our friends from Emerald Isle, with two rinks going to the last bowl. Emerald Isle came out the winners. Well done to our winning rink of Pauline Merry, John Hunt, June Young and skip Chris Merry. Shots Monte Mar 84 – 84 Emerald Isle Points Monte Mar 4 – 8 Emerald Isle Friday 17th of November Monte Mar Toreadors v Greenlands Cedars A lovely November morning saw some fine bowling by the Toreadors, which enabled them to a good win against the Cedars, who have promised to gain revenge in the return leg. The Toreadors won on four rinks drawing on one and losing on one. Shots Toreadors 131 – 100 Cedars Points Toreadors 11 – 3 Cedars.

Tuesday 14th of November Trip to La Zenia The full coach left Gran Alacant at 9am with everyone looking forward to a good mornings shopping. After the shopping we had lunch at La Cosecha restaurant in Beniofar, which was very enjoyable. On the coach back to Gran Alacant we enjoyed a sing song and some dancing in the isle. The day was a great success thank you once again to the ladies on the social committee.

Well done to all our winning and drawing rinks. For the month of November the Toreadors have had some good results. Hopefully we will do even better in December. Monte Mar Matadors v Quesada SwallowsMatadors were away to a very strong Quesada Swallow team and were given a lesson on bowls. Shots Matadors 49 – 165 swallows Points Matadors 0 – 14 Swallows A bad day at the office. For the month of November the Matadors had high and lows 14 – 0 and losing 14 – 0. Unfortunately losing more than we would have liked, lets hope for a better December. For further information about Monte Mar Bowls and Social Club check out our website www.montemarbowls.com or email us at info@montemarbowls.com. We are also on Facebook.

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Group road bike rides from Gran Alacant From Gran Alacant there are some fantastic cycling routes on very quiet roads which our small group enjoy. The variety is endless from the flatland's just across the N332, Once you get to Torellano you find the caminos that take you in to the hills and mountains that lead to the Hondon Valley or Sierra Del Maigmo. We have three Our trip to Alcoraya steady paced social rides each week, if you are looking for something faster. Saturday mornings we join another group on their training ride, We consist of the various nationalities that you find here in the Gran Alacant area, with English tending to be the common language used. If you live here or are just visiting for a holiday you are very welcome to join the group for a ride. Look us up on Facebook Gran Alacant Road cyclist (bici Gran Alacant) where ride details are posted or email Jurry & Jenny cycling to the top of the gerard.elacey@gmail.com Sierra Del Maigmo

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Chatter Technology ‘What did we do before computers? There is more to life than spending hours, in front of a screen, reading about what this or that person had for dinner tonight; the preoccupation of many, introduced to the wonders of social media! There used to be, in the dim and distant past, but things have changed dramatically, even from when I was a child, growing up in the 1970s. As a young lad, my circumstances were very different; I spent every evening playing outside until the sun went down, always enjoying the long, hot summer days. There were no electronic gadgets, laptops or tablets; the enjoyment we had was made from our own hands and imaginations. The 1970s has a bad reputation, but when I look back at those early memories, I recall innocent, fun filled, friendly times, spent with loved ones, neighbours and other kids, in a community that no longer exists in the 21st century. When society changed, at some point in the 1980s; while I was still playing board games, an explosion of technology began to filter through to the masses. Of course, like children today, I wanted the latest ‘bit of kit,’ the first mass produced personal computer, the ZX Spectrum. A cumbersome piece of electronics, that took ages to load games and that’s if it worked at all, which was rare. Modernity reared its ugly head and I was caught napping in a farmers field scrumping apples. Towards the end of my school days, I chose to take ‘Information Studies’ as an option for ‘O’ Level. It was 1985, we had one computer in the whole school, a BBC B, only used on special occasions. The subject I chose, was in reality a glorified typing course, sat behind a desk, typewriter in front, covered by a wooden plinth, with just enough room for hands to fit under and

type; without seeing the keys. My keyboard skills hark back to this time, great for a budding secretary but not for the emerging technological world, which schools found difficult to keep up with. I achieved a certificate in word processing and an ‘O’ Level in Information Studies, to add to my list; two qualifications I have never used and ones which were outdated within a few months. This was the grounding I was given, as the computer age exploded throughout all our lives, not fantastic I grant you, but a subject I was encouraged to follow, after all it was the future. We have moved on dramatically since those small tentative steps, the building blocks of our internet age. At 46 years old I have more applied science in the palm of my hand, used on a daily basis, than took man to the moon. As a civilization we have moved forwards faster in the last forty years than at anytime in human history. I often wonder if this revolution is a great leap forward or a step too far. I am part of the last generation who remembers a time without gadgets at my disposal and today I look back with fondness at the simplistic way we lived our lives. In 2015 I could not do without the countless devises and applications around me; I have a mobile phone and a laptop not too far away. My flights and holidays are booked online; I order everything I need to make my life complete, through the millions of websites at my disposal and I watch television through a wireless network, that keeps all of us connected twenty four hours a day. In the early 2000s I was introduced to the wonders of social networking; facebook, myspace and bebo, the main three at the time. These programs connected me to people I would have otherwise lost contact with; school friends, acquaintances I’ve forgotten how we even met and family on the other side of the World. I have more links with others, than I could possibly hope to remain friends with,

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under normal circumstances and I like it. I have become a social networking geek who uses this medium daily, sometimes for hours at a time, something that has proved its worth since moving abroad, physically away from those I mixed with everyday. As someone who enjoys the company of others, to a point, I find this way of interacting satisfying, choosing when to reply to a message or blocking someone I no longer find stimulating; a bit harsh I grant you, but it works for me! I have been chatting to people this month about the connected World we live in; I’ve also been doing a little observing of how others interact while out and about, enjoying an evening drink or just walking down the road. As I stood outside Sabadell bank, near Sierra Mar, I was struck by the number of people who walked past, phone in hand, having a conversation, with it attached to their ear. I sat watching for about ten minutes; during that time, everyone I saw had a mobile device and were oblivious to what was going on around them; in a bubble of their own. Even couples walking together, were still preoccupied by their latest smart phone, hardly glancing at one another as they walked leisurely along the high street. No words were exchanged, just silence and the occasional reaction as a message or status update appeared in front of their eyes. As a civilization, we are more interfaced now, than ever, yet we rarely talk to each other, one to one, face to face, that is a sad indictment on the society we live in. I asked a number of local residents about the importance of the internet, social media and technology in the daily lives, a cross section of those who live or holiday in Gran Alacant. Those from older generations were clear about the invasive nature of advancement, creating a more disconnected society, not the connected one I imagined. People were spending too much time, lost in their own virtual World, interacting less with those around them.

When asked if they could live without these fundamental changes, to the way we stay in touch, ninety percent were clear, they couldn’t. It was obvious that although people disliked the hi tech revolution, brought about by the modern World, they themselves could not do without the benefits it brought. Technological elevation is now a fact of life; as a culture we are not going to go backwards. All of us are being brought closer together, as the planet we live on gets smaller. Having the latest ‘gear’ is important for most people; owning the latest Ultra 3D HD TV is a must have, whereas the latest colour TV, forty years ago, as opposed to the black and white original, was out of the price range of most. Of course all our lives have changed, access to credit is easier and we buy now, pay later; that’s how much society has evolved, not always for the better. Despite our appetite for the latest piece of electrical equipment to hit the market, there is still a core group of us, who look back to less complicated and intrusive times, with fondness and regret. Many of those I spoke to in Gran Alacant were saddened by the direction the World is heading, but had to admit there was nothing they could do. Gran Alacant does encompass an older, more mature generation in the main and their comments were completely at odds with those of younger years, who expressed a preference for the life they have, with all the apparatus at their disposal. Staying in contact with those close, even as an Expat, living on the other side of Europe is immensely important. Phone calls, video chats, facetime, whatsapp and snapchat, just a few of the applications we use everyday, free of charge, unlike the operator calls of the past; none of us are going to give up these tools lightly; modernity brings problems, but also advancements.

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A Mother’s Love

The screams were loud and piercing, rising well above the generally noisy background. The screams were those of children. They were the kind of noises that cause natural animal instincts to raise the hairs on the back of the neck. In this case however, the screams were those of excitement and happiness. The Christmas Party was going well. All those on the invitation list had turned up bringing presents, balloons; and appetites. The formalities over, best wishes offered and presents exchanged, the children had tucked in to the copious quantities of sandwiches and cakes. Mainly cakes. They were running round the extensive grounds which were blessed with plenty of places for little people to play hide and seek. That was the game of choice, running, hiding; running, screaming, depositing partly digested cake in the bushes; and running again. The only thing missing was the beautiful white dusting of snow, that had not been seen for many a year. Monica was the first to notice that the head count was not as is should be. The pitch of Tommy's voice was very distinctive, even in the present circumstance. His voice was now notable because of its absence. Her son could just be hiding in some distant part of the huge garden, the trees at the far end were a hundred feet away but it was not his usual habit to hide for long. He preferred the ‘hands in front of his face’ method of hiding, then running away to find another place to stand and do the same thing again. She had learned the technique of displaying huge surprise when he revealed himself. She started to walk round the garden looking for him, not calling his name, initially, so as to avoid showing concern and so create a minor panic. It soon became clear to the others, however, that there was a problem. Monica was beginning to pace erratically from bush to bush, looking behind low walls and other garden ornaments and decorations. The other parents questioned their offspring about when they had last seen Tommy but no clues were offered and so they joined Monica in the search. It was Jerry’s garden and he took control of the group. Understanding the need for a speedy start, he quickly briefed everyone on the possible hazards and best hiding places.

rit

DRAMA IN A TEACUP

ac nb y Te r r y L

Extending from the large house, the garden was enclosed on two sides by a high wall which reached to the copse of trees. The parents spread out and covered the grounds from the house to the tree line at the end of the garden. The trees marked the end of the garden but there was only a low fence to prevent access to the open countryside beyond. On the other side of the fence was a footpath that led one way to the church and the other to a car park by the river. Monica and Tommy had been there only two weeks before today’s gathering. The adults were now in a line to search the trees and they commented that the snow would have made it so much easier to follow a stray child or perhaps other, more sinister footprints. Monica was beginning to dread what she might find. She had been calling his name for several minutes now but there no response. The thin line of the fence which marked the end of the property was now only a few feet away. While the rest of the house and garden were in beautiful condition, the fence was clearly not on the list of priorities. Monica began to fear that it would have been easy for Tommy to have crossed the fence or worse when suddenly; the man on her left held up his hand. The line of searchers stopped. He pointed to a shoe which protruded from behind a tarpaulin that was stretched over a pile of winter logs, recently cut from the trees. Only the toecap was visible but Monica recognised it immediately. Drawing a deep breath and not hesitating to allow the fear time to rise in her breast, she reached forward and pulled back the sheet. “BOOO”, shouted Tommy as he leapt forward to greet his mother. “I found a new way of hiding”. Epilogue. The first flakes of white glistening snow began to descend through the trees as Monica gathered Tommy up in her arms. Her head filled with all the “bad” words she knew, to describe the worry and anguish she has experienced in the past few minutes. She desperately wanted to tell him what she thought of his stupidity and the pain he had caused, but as she looked into his wide, exited eyes and then held him tightly to her breast, out of her mouth only three words came: “Mummy loves you”.

FIVE MINUTE FICTION

Mayka’s Kitchen

Marisco Soup

Christmas!!! I can't believe it’s December already! The year has gone by so fast!! I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And thank you all so much for reading and trying out my recipes. I love it when you come in and tell me. Christmas in Spain is different. We like to share starters like ham and cheese platters and grilled prawns followed by soup and roast lamb or other meat, and at the end our sweeties. Our recipe is Marisco soup. Hope you enjoy it, Mayka x

Ingredients Let’s Start! Peel the prawns and place them to one side. Put the heads and shells in a pan with water add 2 bay leaves and simmer for 20 minutes to make stock. Heat the olive oil in a pan and fry the shallots and bell pepper until soft then add the garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Strain the stock into the pan with the shallots and bring to the boil. Add 2 tomatoes, prawns and mussels to the soup and simmer for 10 minutes. Add the paprika salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with parsley. Serve hot and with crusty bread. Hope you enjoy. Lots of love and best wishes Mayka xxx

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• • • • • • • • • • •

650 gr raw prawns 500 gr mussels 1 litre water 2 bay leaves 1 tablespoon olive oil 3 shallots chopped 1 bell pepper chopped 1 garlic glove minced 2 tomatoes chopped salt and pepper chopped parsley

Que Aproveche!

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Enjoy!

SIERRA MAR

Nativity Event in aid of Elche Childrens home & M.A.B.S.

Saturday 16th December Starts at 5pm

The Square - Urb.Sierra Mar

Saturday 16th December Starts at 5pm The Square - Urb.Sierra Mar Time to dig out your Christmas jumpers and festive hats!

Raising funds for M.A.B.S. Also, through out December, each bar in Sierra Mar will have a collection box for donations of gifts to be given to Elche Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Home.

Any unwanted toiletries, sanitary products, new towels,

stationary, toys, new clothes gratefully received. These boxes

will be collected by the homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s representatives on the 16th. There will also be Christmas carols and mince pies!

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We wish you a Merry Christmas and hope your dreams for 2018 come true Eva & Antonio Interior designers

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ALTOMAR II

Detached Villa Ref: GA0084 Bedrooms: 2 Bathrooms: 2

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Semi Detached Villa Ref: GA0110 Bedrooms: 3 Bathrooms: 3

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€230,000

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Halloween in

Happy Birthday Julie from Bar Sioux

Gran Alacant

Happy Birthday Camila from La Paletta

Happy Birthday Sue, Janet & Ric

Ray

hard

AVDA.MEDITERRANEO Can I just ask everyone a huge favour? Those of you who are planning to put Christmas lights outside your property's, please can you avoid anything blue and flashing? Every time I drive past, I think it's the police and have a mild panic attack. I have to remove my foot from the accelerator, slam on the brakes, put my seat belt on, throw my mobile phone on the floor, hide my bottle of wine, swallow my joint, and shove the gun under the seat. It's a major drama. I really appreciate your cooperation and understanding. READ THE MAGAZINE INTERNACIONAL EVERY MONTH AT www.GRANALACANTADVERTISER.com BIBLIOTECA GRAN ALACANT SPANISH COURSES 2017-2018 & COFFEE TALKS

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ASPETGAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S 4th ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY

ASPETGA - The Association of Pet Owners Santa Pola & Gran Alacant held the forth edition of the Halloween party for dogs that took place in the dog park in Gran Alacant. The event proved a great sucsess once again with games and face painting along with other activities but the star activity was the traditional costume contest. The prizes were donated by shops, vetinary clinics and other proffesionals from the town listed at the bottom of the page. All proceeds from the event help to pay for vacinations to pets who wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t otherwise be vaccinated.

Sponsored by:

Out & About with Star & Ashlee Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre, Rojales Hi , my name is Star and I have been lucky enough to call Gran Alacant my home for over 9 years now. My 7 year old daughter Ashlee and I are often “Out & About” enjoying the local attractions and culture in this part of Spain. Over the next few months I will be sharing some of our experiences with you to encourage you to go “Out & About” yourselves and maybe learn a little bit about this beautiful place we call home. This month we wanted to share our most recent visit to this amazing rescue centre that has just had its 9th Anniversary. Ashlee and I have visited many times over the last 6/7 years and have seen the population of horses, ponies and donkey´s grow tremendously. There are now a huge 109 living there and a total of 145 have been rescued over the years. Most of you have probably visited one of their charity shops but have you ever wondered where the money goes?

of every month when the centre opens their doors between 1pm to 4pm to allow the public to join their guided tours, which are in English, Spanish and when we were there, Russian. During the tour, you get to walk around the centre and meet these amazing equines and if you want to, you can hear some of their incredible survival stories.

Ashlee & Eve listening to Rod’s story

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre (EHCRC) was started at the end of October 2008, seven years after Sue and Rod Weeding retired to Spain, when they found a two year old stallion Luceiro in a dark and filthy stable. His left eye was

The tour

Well you can find out on the first Sunday

Sue & Rod Weeding

Out & About with Star & Ashlee CARABASSI CENTRE

badly injured and the resulting flies were driving him crazy. Unable to leave him, they brought him home to their finca and the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre was born. Over the last 9 years they have helped numerous horses, ponies and donkeys and have been involved in countless rescues, including a joint program in 2014 where 14 horses and 9 donkeys were rescued and their owner prosecuted. The horses went to the EHCRC and the donkeys to another donkey sanctuary.

inside a dark garage, the community rallied round and began lobbying for something to be done. The ensuing media attention resulted in a police response and a man was later prosecuted. Since then, the local police have become more concerned about animal welfare and often inform Sue and Rod of abandoned or mistreated equines and help in the rescue and prosecution of the owners.

How many feed buckets!!!

Another important rescue that highlighted the plight of animal welfare was concerning a beautiful pony called Faith. Due to EHCRC´s intervention, she became the first pony in Spain to be fitted with a prosthetic leg after her mutilated front leg had to be amputated.

For those of you that already have supported or continue to support the EHCRC Sue and Rod offer their immense gratitude as without the kind donations they receive, they would not be able to do what they do. There are numerous ways that you can help this amazing charity, pop into one of their charity shops, donate some furniture or clothes, become a sponsor or a volunteer, host a fundraising event or even join their working holiday program. More details can be found at: www.easyhorsecare.net.

Faith with prosthetic leg

Sue and Rod have so much love, understanding and compassion for these beautiful equines. They, along with their team of volunteers, are truly amazing people who are changing the lives of these abandoned and mistreated horses, ponies and donkey´s. So, take a few hours out of your Sunday and go and see these fortunate majestic animals, who have finally found happiness in their new home. "Maybe you can't change the world by saving one horse, but you can change the whole world for the horse that you save."

Captain and Hope are two horses who have also helped to raise awareness. They were skeletal and had been left to die

Join us next month for some more fun “Out and About”. Bye for now, Star and Ashlee x

Out & About with Star & Ashlee

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Two ladies of a certain age - Clarisa and Eleanor - who were rivals in their social circle, met for a Christmas lumch at a country club. ‘My dear’ said Clarissa, ‘are those real pearls?’. ‘They certainly are’ , replied Eleanor. ‘Of course’ smiled Clarissa, ‘the only way I could tell for sure would be to bite them’. ‘Yes’ said Eleanor, ‘but to do that you would need real teeth’.

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M.A.B.S. Cinderella Raised 4000â&#x201A;¬

DIRECTED BY JEAN REITERBUND SPONSORED BY MAC&ANGIE, AQUARIUS

Great Audience...

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M.A.B.S. Cinderella Raised 4000€

Great Cast ... Another success for M.A.B.S. Yearly show! The pantomime Cinderella was the theme this year and even though it was a huge risk as the cast needed to learn lines and a lot of team work and many extra rehearsals were required, the team did not disappoint me! The American Rock Bar was filled every night and people were waiting at the door for late cancellations. Laughter was on the menu from the start to finish as the ugly sisters, Twanky Wanky, Buttons, the Good Fairy, Baron Hardup, Dandini and Cinderella with prince Charming complete with dancers lit up the stage with their crazy antics. Our end of the show was won over by the M.A.B.S. lads doing the Full Monty!!! Pleased to say not a mushroom in sight, all done in the best possible taste. The lighting and scenery was set up by Ken James and a very soft spoken Gill James did the prompting, raffle tickets were sold by Jan and Brian, Margaret Smith, Alison and Rab and Alison and Issy over the four nights. Bill and Lin Hodges were the bouncers on the door plus the ticket collectors. Thank you goes to our sponsors Mac and Angie, owners of the Aquarius restaurant who have already decided to sponsor us next year. Thank you all the bars and restaurants who donated prizes for our raffle – Shooters, Roger’s Bar, Phoenix, LoungeD, The Belfry, Molly Malones, Brett and Lee, Mayka’s Kitchen, Barloko, Quicksave, the wonderful bike ride which we auctioned and all the supporters that gave us bottles.

Without you pulling together to help M.A.B.S. we could not make our events so successful. A very important person to our show is our Tony Hall who for many years has given up four nights of possible work to do our music. He makes all our actors feel at home and encourages them, which brings out the best in them. Thank you Tony so much!!! Now if I have forgotten anyone, please forgive me as I am still recovering over the Full Monty! Next year another pantomime will hit Gran Alacant when Snow White and the seven dwarfs becomes the panto! I will have to use my magic powers and shrink men into dwarfs, oh well – that’s life! The amount raised for the pantomime this year, was just under 4000 euros. Donations are still coming in for the Full Monty. While I am writing this, Sierra Mar where Dick turpins and Zest are doing their Christmas Fayre in aid of M.A.B.S. Hospice. If you can donate any raffle prizes for the event, please contact me, Margaret Smith or any of the bars in the Sierra Mar square and they will be pleased to take them from you. December 16th is the hot date to put in your calendar for an old fashioned Christmas Fayre all in aid of the M.A.B.S. hospice fund. Thank you all so much, Jean x

M.A.B.S. Cinderella Raised 4000â&#x201A;¬

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SANTA POLA

Felices Fiestas y Feliz AÃ±o Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to all our customers

SANTA POLA

LA MARINA

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all New and Existing Customers.

SPANISH CLASSES

CLASES DE ESPAÑOL PARA EXTRANJEROS Clases individuales/grupales: Individual and group classes Niveles de acuerdo al Marco Común Europeo de Referencia According to the common European framework of reference levels Precio: 10€/hora – Price: €10/hour Profesora titulada de Español para Extranjeros Qualified teacher of Spanish for foreigners.

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Any creaking oldies out there like me, who would like to move about a bit more. How about getting together for VERY SLOWLY walking football No walking sticks allowed. Every Thursday. For more information email Barry at laneinspain@hotmail.com for start times, venue, and weekly updates.

Group road bike rides from Gran Alacant We are a small group who spend most of the winter here in Gran Alacant. If you are interested in joining one of our rides look us up on Facebook Gran Alacant Road Cyclist (bici Gran Alacant) where ride details are posted or email gerard.elacey@gmail.com

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CLINICA VETERINARIA GRAN ALACANT EXOTICS

Tel: 966 698 569

Liliana Aldeguer Cerdán 793 English translation by Sergio Reina Esteban col 747

SOME QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELVES Why animals are still sold in shops? Why do people buy animals just for abandoning them later?

61,524 dogs were registered at Real Sociedad Canina de España (Spanish Kennel Club), in 2016. This number only includes pure breed dogs, legally bred and sold in Spain, vaccinated, microchipped and everything. It’s a big number, but it’s just the iceberg point. 104,447 dogs were abandoned in Spain in 2016. This number doesn’t include cats nor dogs that didn’t enter a shelter (because they died, for example knocked by a car before anybody was able to take them to the shelter), so they don’t appear at statistics. On December 2nd there will be a demonstration in Alicante (at 2 Federico Soto Avenue), from 11:00 to 13:00, for asking people not to buy dogs but adopt them. Most dogs in Spain are purchased via Internet, from non-professional breeders,

with no sanitary warranty nor any kind of legal document. No doubt pets business is very important. But the thing is, not only pets selling for payment is a business, but also sometimes animal shelters. Average citizen nowadays is sensitive and worries about animal welfare, so doesn’t want to see abandoned animals running free at the streets. Town Halls are responsible for removing these animals from the streets, and what they normally do is to hire the services of corporations which capture the animals and take them to their facilities. These corporations, as anyone can imagine, don’t work for free: they charge Town Halls for capturing and accommodating the animals they capture from the street. The more animals are living at their facilities, the more money they earn. So, what happens when all the cages are occupied? Last November 11th Malaga Court imprisoned the former owner of “Parque Animal” (an animal shelter placed in Torremolinos), convicted of “massive dogs and cats slaughtering”. Unfortunately, as very well informed people keep saying, this is not an exceptional case. There is practically no control about the number of animals that are captured and find a new home at animal shelters, and this lack of control allows the business grow more and more. We would like Christmas is a time for relax and joy, and not an alibi for buying an animal we are not ready to have. It’s always a good time to adopt an animal and to report anybody mistreating those defenceless alive beings. We would like no animal is sold in a shop or abandoned at the street next year.

Happy New Year to everybody!

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PETS IN SPAIN www.petsinspain.com

Pets In Spain is a website dedicated to the re-homing of abandoned and unwanted animals on the Costa Blanca. Whether you are looking to adopt an animal, advertise an animal or if you simply want to know more about taking care of your pet in Spain, please take a look at our site or Call: 645 469 253 Bella is a 5 year old Yorkshire terrier and was rescued after her owner returned to the UK and no longer wanted Bella. She is a very happy, healthy little girl, chipped, vaccinated and good with other dogs.

Larissa is a Russian blue cat and was rescued recently with her 6 kittens. They kittens are now weaned and 4 have found wonderful new homes so now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for Larissa to find her forever home. She is around 2 years old, has been sterilized and is a very affectionate girl.

Tammy & Betty have been adopted from our last edition. Louie and Dewy are beautiful 11 week old kittens and have been in a foster home since they were born so are very friendly, affectionate kittens. They are litter trained and good with other cats.

Simba is a 2 year old Galgo, he is house trained, good with children and other dogs and very affectionate. Simba is chipped and weighs around 20kgs.

To view more animals for adoption visit our website. If you would like to advertise an animal email: info@petsinspain.info

Tel: 645 469 253

The Charity is run by a team of volunteers CV-01-043388-A CIF No G-54353743

Tel: 600 845 420

LOLA is approximately 1 year old and was recently found walking the streets of La Marina Urb trying to enter many properties looking for food and shelter. Lola is charming, warm and friendly. She loves to play and shows interest in other dogs. She walks well on a lead and is very clean. Vaccinated, wormed, micro chipped, passported and ready to go.

K9 CLUB www.k9club.es

The K9 Club is a Registered Animal Welfare Organisation operating within the Alicante Province K9 ANIMAL SHELTER VOLUNTEERS NEEDED K9 animal shelter is moving as our current shelter site is now for sale by the owner. We are moving all our animals to the Pinoso/Raspay area. We are looking for volunteers so if you have a few hours to spare and enjoy working with people or animals, then we would love to hear from you, we have some thing to suit all skills and tastes. If you can spare some time we would love to hear from you.

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WHAT’S THAT IN THE CLOT? by Mark Etheridge

Kingfisher

It's that time of the year again – or at least it has been since the beginning of last month. Shops full of shiny bright things ready for you to put on your Xmas tree, and spend a fortune in doing so. Nature, of course, has its own bright shiny things, and you don't have to wait until Xmas to see them; best of all, they will not cost you a penny, cent, pound or euro, and they will not end up in the dustbin at the end of festivities. Very few people will fail to recognise the subject of my photo this month, but just in case there's someone who lives in a cave with no access to the outside world, this is a Kingfisher. Winter is far and away the best time to see these avian jewels, and we are fortunate in that the large El Hondo reserve is one of their favourite overwintering places – there is a good population here right now, and you should pop along to see one if you can.

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Perhaps this is easier said than done – although these are very bright birds indeed, most of the sightings you will get are of a blue and orange dart which whizzes past your viewpoint and is gone almost before you can recognise it for what it is. However, if you are patient (and very quiet!) you might just get a prolonged view as the Kingfisher sits on the edge of a reedbank and contemplates the prospect of diving for one of the many small fish which inhabit the extensive pools of El Hondo. You might be lucky, and see one in the Clot as well, but I wouldn't bank on it. In ten years of birding in the Clot, I have only seen Kingfishers there on four or five occasions, and when they are present they only tend to stick around for a day or so. Kingfishers are resident birds in our area, but during the summer they tend to move away from larger stretches of water and find a reliable stream (sometimes higher up in the mountains) where the water flow is more regular than the lowland rivers which are regularly drained of their water for human and farming consumption. Now here's a fun fact to throw in during your festive games of Trivial Pursuit. What does the Kingfisher eat to make its feathers so bright blue? The answer is – nothing. In the bird world, most blue feathers contain no pigment; the blue colour is created in the same way that the sky is blue, red and yellow wavelengths pass through but shorter blue wavelengths bounce off particles and are reflected back. In the Kingfisher and other blue birds, the feather structure has developed what the scientists call nanolayers which reflect the blue waves of white light in the same way. That should be enough to bring the conversation to a halt, but if not you can tell your family and friends that the Spanish name for the Kingfisher is Martin Pescador. Season's greetings and see you next month.

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FERAL FRIENDS OF GRAN ALACANT & NEARBY AREAS

WE DON’T HAVE A CATTERY, our work is in the streets, fields, roads ... THEY HAVE NO LOVE NOR COMPANY

They suffer all kind of things out there, lets give them a Christmas present by making a donation: Food Tins from Aldi or Brekkies Dry food (they find more tasty) or litter, or a DONATION in our coin-tins at businesses listed below....When you give, you receive !!!

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CROSSWORD

Geoff’s

1. Which singer starred in ‘The Bodyguard’?

2. In music, what is a note if it is neither sharp nor flat?

3. Which Footballer recorded a Rap Song entitled ‘Geordie Boys’? 4. What chemical element has the symbol Na ?

5. What do you call the water falls between Argentina and Brazil? ANSWERS ON MAP PAGE

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SUDOKU 7

Difficulty Rating: EASY To solve the puzzle each 3 x 3 box, each row and each column must contain all the numbers 1 to 9. While the rules of this logic puzzle may be simple, there are numerous strategies to help you solve Sudoku. For hints and information visit www.sudoku.org.uk

Difficulty Rating: MEDIUM

6 3 1

6 3

5 4 8 7

7 6

8 5

9 7

6 8

2 9

7 1

2 9

8 4

4 2 1

7 3 5

3 4 6 3

Difficulty Rating: HARD 7

2 4 7

5 1 9 7

DOODLE AREA

3 5 8

8 9 4

6 4

9 7

2 8

1 2 3

5 5

7 8

1 3 2

2 6 3

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SUDOKU SOLUTIONS from previous page 4 5 8 2 9 7 6 3 1

7 1 2 8 3 6 4 5 9

9 6 3 5 4 1 8 7 2

1 3 4 9 7 2 5 6 8

8 7 6 4 1 5 2 9 3

5 2 9 3 6 8 1 4 7

3 8 5 6 2 9 7 1 4

6 9 1 7 8 4 3 2 5

2 4 7 1 5 3 9 8 6

9 2 6 8 1 7 4 5 3

3 7 1 5 2 4 9 6 8

5 8 4 9 6 3 2 1 7

1 9 7 3 4 8 5 2 6

8 4 5 6 9 2 7 3 1

6 3 2 7 5 1 8 9 4

7 5 8 1 3 9 6 4 2

2 1 9 4 8 6 3 7 5

4 6 3 2 7 5 1 8 9

9 1 5 7 4 8 3 2 6

4 6 3 5 2 9

2 7 8 6 3 1 7 9 1 5 8 4

3 5 6 4 9 2 8 7 1

8 2 7 3 1 6 5 4 9

1 9 4 8 5 7

6 3 9 2 7 4

7 4 1 9 8 5

5 8 2 1 6 3

6 1 2 4 3 8 6 9 2 5 3 7

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Table Manners Sitting at the dinner table, a daughter complimented her father on his improved manners. “ I am pleased to see that afer all these years you have finally learned to put your hand over your mouth whenever you cough”. “I have to” , he replied. “It’s the only way I can catch my teeth.”

Marriage Joke A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?” The husband said, “No sweetie.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?” And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.” Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?” And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

Nun Joke Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs. So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car. Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle. Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”

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