The Complete Guide to Picking Up Girls On Facebook
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First, a note on why Facebook is awesome for gaming women:
I'm often asked where I find high quality women, because it seems like most of the smart, loyal chicks who have anything going for them are not at the local pub getting wasted and hooking up with strangers on a Thursday night. Trust me, I agree and I feel your pain.
One of the answers to this eternal question, (besides old staples like Starbucks, book stores and dog parks) is Facebook.
Simply, Facebook is the best wingman you'll ever have. I've gotten more girls via Facebook in the past three months than I ever had in three years of going to bars and clubs.
Here's why Facebook is such a good tool for pick-up artists like yourself: First of all, nearly every girl you want to date is on Facebook, so the selection is practically unlimited. In fact, there’s way more diversity on Facebook than at the local disco.
Second, most women love Facebook and check their profiles at least once a day hoping that guy of their dreams has sent them a charming private message (not a poke).
The third advantage is that there's little risk of hurt feelings because it’s much
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easier to deal with digital rejection via Facebook than it is real life.
Forth, on Facebook you have the ability prescript your questions and answers so that you can get a girl in bed without the difficulties associated with being spontaneous, funny and attractive to a stranger in real life.
The focus of this guide is on the girls who aren't out at bars or clubs. If you want those girls, by all means, go to bars and clubs and meet them. But, this guide is more focused on trying to get that super awesome, high quality chick (think brains and tits) that is worthy enough to be long-term girlfriend material.
So without further ado, here's how I’ve managed to pull at least one new date a week all through Facebook:
Step 1) Get Your Facebook Profile Right
The goal of your profile is to not have anything that would potentially turn off the women you're trying to get with. This means your profile should highlight the best parts of your personality and minimize the worst. You're not trying to come off as the cheesy, pushy player at the club (which can work at the club, just not online). Instead, think of it as playing hard to get -- you're so cool you don't even care whether your profile makes you seem like badass or a loser. (Oh the irony, right?)
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Your profile should present some of your best, unique qualities- how many profiles of guys have you seen where its just a long advertisement for their favorite school's football program? Don't be like those dudes, instead express yourself uniquely in your own voice. Really list your favorite books, movies, music and quotes. Don't mail it home, the more you put the better (as it gives you more chances to click with girls who share the same interests). Just keep it under 15 titles for each field.
Basic Profile Stuff:
Your "Relationship Status" must be set to "Single". Avoid the "It's Complicated" status at all costs, no girl wants to deal with a crazy-ex.
Your "Looking For" should be set to "Friendship". Setting it to "Random Play" only can work at getting the sluttier chicks, but if you want to hook up with quality women, and Facebook is really good at this, then simply set this field to "Friendship" and be done with it.
Your "About Me" field should have some humor in it. It should convey the sense that you don't take yourself too seriously but at the same time being true to yourself. Never put yourself down in any public forum, Facebook included.
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Resist the temptation to put in things like sex, women, beer pong, thongs, weed, etc as they all come off as cheesy in their own ways. The frat boys who do this aren't getting laid via Facebook, I promise. Be sure though to put in a few intriguing entries, like meditation, poetry, tai chi, psychology, dancing etc -- things that are unique (and true) about yourself. Its good to once in a while show a woman that you're deeper than just sports, beer, and sex. This is especially true for the kinds of girls we are after. See the list of most popular female subjects on Page 15 of this document for more ideas.
Don't list your cellphone number, it looks desperate and is a major mistake by most men. Instead, only give your AIM or Gmail account name (if you have one, if not leave out all contact information altogether). Even consider restricting access to your profile to only those who are your friends.
Photos- Make sure you're having fun and smiling in most of your photos. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who's always somber and depressed. Pictures of you and your Mom and siblings work great too. Also baby pictures. Women love baby pictures, so be sure to have at least one up there (you can even use one as your profile picture for a while if you're so bold). Pictures like these will generate many comments and wall posts from women and are absolute gold to have on your profile page. Also pictures of you and your friends from when you were children work wonders at generating massive amounts of views to your profile.
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Feel free to tastefully decorate your profile with Facebook apps and banners -just be sure you don't turn your Facebook profile into a MySpace page. Remember that Facebook isn't just used for picking up girls. For example your Mom probably uses it to check up on you. Employers also use it to get a scoop on a potential employee before they're hired, so make sure there's nothing on your profile that's questionable in content (pictures of you doing a keg-stand, passed out with your shirt off and a dick drawn on your face, or packing the bong come to mind). In the same vein you should try to avoid expressions like *MOB* (Money Over Bitches) or other clichĂŠd and potentially offensive sayings and acronyms. This is huge turn off to most women.
Generally, your profile picture should be you doing something that you love to do the most. Women are drawn to men of action. So if you like hockey, there should be a picture of you playing hockey. If you like cars, put a picture of yourself at the autocross track. If you like partying, put a picture of yourself partying with friends. A profile picture of you in action, doing what you love to do, is crucial to establish the fact you have other interests besides bedding beautiful women.
Step 2) Make Friends
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In order to gain the "social proof" of being the coolest mother****** in your network, you have to have lot's of people posting on your wall, preferably hot girls. For this method to work effectively it’s a must that you have at least some girls writing on your wall every week or so. Remember that perception is often just as good as reality, as in the case of Facebook.
Now you're probably thinking, no shit Sherlock, of course I want hot girls posting on my wall! How the hell do I get them to do that?
Good question:
First, you gotta befriend as many people as possible so you have as large a network as possible. When you meet someone new, in real life, find them on Facebook that same night and send a friend request. This is how you build a network of a couple thousand people in just a few weeks.
In order to be successful at gaming women on Facebook, you have to constantly be seeking out more friends in real life. Remain diligent in this effort, and the rewards will pay off in spades a month or two later, trust me.
Trying to game complete strangers is almost always a waste of time and hardly ever worth the massive sustained effort it takes. That's why is much easier to be the cool guy with a large network of gorgeous babes than it is the player who's
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burned all his bridges by hitting on every girl in his network. Don't get numbers anymore, get names (which is way easier). Don't seek to pick-up girls, seek to become their Facebook friends. Why?
Allow me to explain this point via example. Say, you're in the super market and you're standing in front of the apples in the produce section. Next to you just happens to be a ridiculously attractive woman. The conversation goes like this:
Hero: [turning your head but not your body toward the target] Do you know how you're supposed to tell if an apple is ripe or not? I'm standing here squeezing apples but I have no idea if I want the squishy ones of the firm ones. Do you know?? Her: [laugh] Ummmm. I really don't have any idea. Hero: Great we're both picking out apples and we have absolutely no idea what the hell we're doing. [pause] I think we should just take a bite out of a couple of them to test for quality. Her: [laugh] Okay, you first. (This is a shit-test because she's wondering if you really have the balls to go through with your joke and actually bite the apple). Hero: [taking a huge bite out of an apple and nodding] This is one awesome apple! Here you have some [trying to give her the bitten apple] Her: [laughs for real this time] That's okay, thanks. I don’t want your already bitten apple.
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Hero: [more serious than before] So are you an apple lover too? Her: [if she's at all interested in you, she'll agree and start talking here] Oh yeah, I love apples. My grandmother used to have one every day. In fact... [this goes one for a minute or three] Hero: That's awesome! I want to meet your grandma but unfortunately, I gotta jet. What's your name? Her: Sarah Hero: Are you on Facebook, Sarah? [before she can answer] Of course you're on Facebook, what self-respecting girl isn't on Facebook?? What's your last name? [as you enter it into your phone] Don’t worry I'm not going to poke you everyday for the next three months.
She'll be eagerly anticipating your friend request tonight I assure you.
So you just made a potential girlfriend but even more importantly a new Facebook friend. Here's the next step:
Send her a friend request with a cute confirmation message (ala, You met Sarah “determining the best kind of apples for her grandmother”). Then do nothing for a couple days. If she hasn't shown any interest in you already (via a Wall Post or Poke) then simply leave her a wall post hoping that she's been finding good apples lately (or whatever you were talking about in your last conversation). She'll probably return the favor. After a couple weeks of back and forth like this,
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you have two win/win options:
1) If you think you're not in the dreaded "friends zone" and you have really taking a shining for this girl, casually invite her out to a bar (or whatever you feel comfortable with) on the following weekend. Say you’re meeting up with some friends at a popular local bar and she should come down or otherwise you’re going to label her a Facebook stalker. Ask for her number so that you can text her the details later.
The goal of chatting on Facebook is to eventually get the girls the number and talk to her (or text her) over the phone. This step is necessary because most women are reluctant to see a guy in real life if they’ve only really corresponded via the internet. This is a necessary psychological boundary you have to overcome. If you need help with your phone game I’ve included a chapter at the end of this PDF called “Phone Game 101” take straight from my other, more complete system entitled, The Badass Guide to Women, Money and Energy available at http://www.badassification.com/.
2) If you think you're in the "friends zone" or you’re just not interested, don't worry because this is the fun part. Simply dig through her pictures and find all of her hot friends. Pick your favorite one. In a private message ask, "Is your friend [name] single? I saw a couple of pictures of her in one of your albums and I think she's gorgeous and has a great sense of style." If you get anything besides "she's
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married" as a response, ask her if she can show her gorgeous friend your profile page sometime, to see if she thinks you're someone she might be into. At this point, if this girl likes you, she's going to do everything she can to hook her friend up with you. I want to retract the statement I made earlier- Facebook isn't the best wingman, a woman is the best wingman.
So to recap, let’s review exactly how the system works: 1) Your objective is to balloon your number of friends by a. Befriending friends of friends that you’ve already met. b. Befriending any and every woman you spoke to during that day 2) Once you’ve established a rapport (which usually takes anytime between one week to several months) with your new Facebook female friends, casually ask if one of their attractive friends is single. 3) If she is, ask your new Facebook female friend to show her your profile to see if she’d think you guys would click. 4) If your profile is tight, then she’s going to be all-but forced to agree to a date. 5) At this point you just start dancing because you’ve realized that you scored a date with a ridiculous hot chick personally pimped out to you by a Facebook girl you met two weeks ago. I’m convinced there is no higher purpose for technology.
This is the only way I pick-up girls now fellas, and its so easy it almost makes me
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feel guilty!
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One of my favorite things in the world to do is to log onto a girlfriend's Facebook account (with them present, no hax0ring involved I promise) and just see the private messages they've received from random dudes trying to score with them. Its just really funny to me to see a) how much women actually do get hit on online (hot chicks get hit on at least a couple times a week) and b) just how low the bar is when it comes to internet game.
Here's some real life examples that I've copied and pasted verbatim out of one girls inbox over the course of a single month:
"HEY GURL WUTS YOUR #???" "LOOKING HOT HONEY. WHATS YOUR NUMBER, I WANT TO TALK TO U?" "Wanna come to party in Hollywood tonight? Its gonna be bangin and yr friend Linda will b there i think" "I think you're really hawt :D and I wanted to talk to u :-P here’s my number XXXXXXX call me :) :0"
This stuff is weak and will never, ever work. Unless you’re a seasoned pick up artist, you’ll almost always come across as creepy by going the direct route. That's why I recommend making friends first then getting them to hit on girls for you. Let somebody else hype you up to that hot girl you have your eyes on, it’s about 1,000% easier than the Mystery Method and requires no memorization. A word on the poke-
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Years ago, when Facebook was less popular than it is day, poking was a common practice used by guys in order to gauge the interest of a chick. Now it’s considered kind of pathetic and lame. Please note this change over time. It makes total sense -- girls want to be swept off their feet, not poked to death. So the poke is rarely a good idea, especially if you’re trying to initiate the conversation.
Now say you’ve established somewhat of a rapport with a girl online, but you haven’t talked to them in about a week because you were busy making new Facebook friends in real life or what-have-you, its sometimes a good idea to throw them a poke just to let them know you’re still interested in them. You’d be amazed at how many girls give up on a guy forever just because he was silent for a fee weeks.
Facebook is the a worldwide female gossip networkKnow that Facebook is a popular conversation topic among women, and that if you poke a girl on Facebook her friends are probably going to know about it within 24 hours. So this information cuts two ways. It’s terrible for you if you come across as some fakeass rico suave player trying too hard to be the man. But its great if you have a loyal army of hot girls trying to set you up with their equally attractive friends. Step 3) Initiating the Conversation
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More ways to strike up a conversation on Facebook with a stranger if you absolutely have to:
A complement about a girl's taste in music or film usually works well. Say you just befriended a "friend of a friend" on Facebook who you think is quite attractive. A couple days after your friend request has been accepted, write a wall post on her profile that says something to the effect of, "Hey you're into [insert band X]? I didn't know [mutual friend's name] was cool enough to know TWO people that like [band X]!" or “Dude wasn’t [movie title] dope! Nobody likes that movie. In fact, I wanted to give you props as the first girl I ever to be bold enough to put that on their Facebook profile. :P”.
Start your own "elite" invitation only Facebook groups. For example, say you and this girl you're trying to game both really like the old TV show, Fraggle Rock. You can make a small elite Facebook group called, "Friends of Sprocket" or "Sprocket's Dream Team" or something equally silly (Sprocket was the name of the Dog on the show) and invite her to join. Sharing something that you both enjoy plus the fact that its “by invitation only” is a great way to strength the bond between you before you actually get her number. Use this one often.
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Common Female Buzzwords / Things That Almost Universally All Young Women Like To Do And Talk About:
Some of the following keywords should be in your interests as they have a high opportunity coincide with that Facebook hottie you have your eyes on.
Travel Art, esp photography Relationships Live events (concerts, theaters) Books Fitness, esp running Pets Fashion Celebrities Songs from the 80s Weddings Royalty Cooking
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Phone Game 101 (from the Badassification.com System)
Talking on the phone to a strange woman you met at the bar the night before can be awkward. Your primary goal is to make the conversation as light and fun as possible. Your secondary goal is to secure a date. Here are some tips to guide you along the way:
- Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by someone who never got laid.
- Bring up something you were talking about the last time you met. If you met her at the produce section of the supermarket, talk about how you just found the perfect watermelon or ask her how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe or not since you just bought a bad one, or ask her if she's ever eaten something at the supermarket before she paid for it, etc.
- Have something witty to stay right off the bat. You need to break the ice again. Just because she liked you enough to give you her number when she was three drinks deep at Sharkeyz Bar doesn't mean she: a) is single b) actually likes you (maybe she just wanted to give you her number so you would leave) c) will agree to a date if you don't keep the conversation interesting on the phone.
- Keep it short, no longer than 15 minutes: "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm
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swamped today."
- Don't leave voicemails. Its hard to not come off sounding needy or insecure on a voicemail unless your Inner Game is very solid (or you've been in sales for a while). For now, hang up when you get her machine and call back later. I like calling between 8 - 9 PM on a weekend or on a Sunday afternoon.
- If a roommate picks up, try talking to them and finding out something about them (connect with them). It's a lot easier for you to secure a date if her roommates like you.
- Always assume she remembers you. When she answers the phone, simply say, "Hey [name], this is [your name]." Wait for her response. If there's a long pause or if she asks you who you are, say "You don't remember me? I saved your life from that pack of ninjas last night!" Don't tell her who you are, make her remember.
- Be standing, smiling and walking when you're on the phone. It boosts your energy and she will be able to pick up on your good vibe from the other end of the receiver.
- Leave on a high note if you can. As soon as you set up the date you should excuse yourself and hang up.
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- Always be the first to say goodbye and the first to hang up.
- Don't be discouraged if she gave you a fake number, it happens even to the most seasoned of Players.
- At least at first, I recommend pre-scripting bullet points of what you want to say during the phone conversation. It eliminates those awkward pauses on the phone.
- You only call to set up dates. You don't call her just to say "what's up." In order for her to hear your voice she has to see you. That means no calls or texts inbetween. Don't take calls or texts from her either (especially if she's a textaholic or at all needy). This quashes attachment (read: dependency) in both parties and leads to a freer, healthier, and more independent relationship.
- Good phone game is an art in-and-of itself, and for some it can be even more difficult to master than meeting women in real life. If this is the case for you, I recommend getting both her phone number and e-mail address when you initially get her contact information. Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you make your initial call. Your conversation will go much smoother and your chances of getting a date will increase exponentially just because you've already established a baseline of comfort and trust.
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Here's a template e-mail you can use after you get an e-mail address:
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Hey [Name], (if she has an e-mail address like CutiePrincessDancer84, make sure to address it to that name mockingly)
It was good meeting you last night! You were very cool, especially considering you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe the whole night... JUST KIDDING (I think it was paper towel).
Anyway, I gotta jet in a couple minutes but I wanted to let you know I was thinking about our conversation [insert previous conversation topic here] about finding the best produce in the supermarket and [since I'm a nerd like that] I found an awesome website that has a legend for picking the best piece of fruit! Here's the URL. You'll never have to eat an unripened melon again.
You can thank me by bringing a fresh fruit salad over to my work, :-P
Hope all is well with you.
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[Your name]
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