2013 March | April / Boomerbuzz Texas Magazine

b o o m e rm abg auz i zn ez

Texas

POSTPONING

The Day of Reckoning

OLDEST CATHEDRAL in America

Talking to Aging Parents

boomerbuzz‌ living life to the fullest MARCH / APRIL 2013 | boomerbuzzmagazine.com

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04 | CONTENTS

MARCH | APRIL: IN THIS ISSUE

PUBLISHER’S LETTER 07 FEATURE 08 IN THE NEWS 12 HEALTHY LIFE 16

What’s New in 2013!

Six Top States for Retirees | Longhorn History Postponing the Day of Reckoning Almond Joy Brownie Bites | Are You a Champion?

Your Happy Practice | Fighting Allergies | Hearing Loss

THE ARTS 30 TEXAS STYLE 34 BOOM VOYAGE 40 BOOMER BUZZ 46

ArtLoveMagic! | The Texas Art Scene The Texas Spring Gardener | Hues for You Best Hotels in Spain | Passport to Safe Travel Give the Gift of a Fine Cigar | Who Needs Paris Easter Grass Stains | Purple Prose

SENIOR SENSE 54 ON THE COVER Rita Veazy-Burns & Mark Burns at their engagement at Prairie Creek Park, Richardson, TX. Photo Credit: Jeremy Kristin Photography

How to Talk to Your Aging Parents

boomerbuzztx.com 469.237.7084 | info@boomerbuzzmagazine.com

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06 | MASTHEAD

boomerbuzztx.com PUBLISHER

WEBSITE DESIGN

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Houston Brown/Split Light Designs

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

SEO & SOCIAL MEDIA

Torrey Moseley

Tim Vasquez/Jaw Dropping Media

ADVERTISING & MARKETING

PUBLIC RELATIONS

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TECHNICAL DIRECTOR

CREATIVE CONTRIBUTORS

Jonathan R. Moseley

Becca Menig, Photography Nicole Rodriguez, Photography Jeremy Kristin Photography

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Laurie Alves Shay Banks Christina Castle Lyn E. Cathey Julese Crenshaw Christopher Cyriaque Beverly F. Jones Claire Maestri

Becca Menig Torrey Moseley Jet Parker Robin Roberson Scott Schilling Nick Trout Laura Yoo Tim Vasquez Better Hearing Institute

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REGISTRATION ON OR USE OF THE MAGAZINE CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF BOOMERBUZZ MAGAZINE’S USER AGREEMENT AND PRIVACY POLICY. THE MATERIALS ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM BOOMERBUZZ MAGAZINE.

PUBLISHER’S LETTER | 07

PUBLISHER’S LETTER As the first year’s anniversary of the launch of Boomer Buzz Magazine nears, I reflect on how many gracious and talented people have helped us succeed in this exciting adventure. And 2013 has started off with a bang as we published the first issue of Boomer Buzz Texas Magazine in January and are proud to present the March/April issue now.

Our theme in this issue is Texas Power, Boomer Style and you will enjoy features on locations in the state with historical significance, how baby boomers are facing retirement and motivational messages to be happy and a champion. There are great stories on reflections of our childhoods that everyone can identify with, fabulous art around the state and excellent information for overseas travel. Plus we continue our series on How to Talk to your Aging Parents.

We hope you will also enjoy Boomer Buzz Magazine, learning which states are named best for retirees, how to fix heart healthy and happy dishes and why paying off a mortgage may not be healthy. You will read how allergies in Texas might affect you and how “you” are the trend in home décor.

Thank you so much for reading Boomer Buzz, we appreciate your support and look forward to growing with you in 2013. Let us hear from you! We have added Boomer Talk to the website so you can comment. We want to know what you think, want to read about or learn of and how life is treating you as a baby boomer in a world of change.

Let’s make the next year a booming one!

08 | FEATURE

Texas Boasts the Oldest Cathedral in the United States

By Christina Castle

San Fernando Cathedral, San Antonio, Texas

FEATURE | 09

Texas is certainly not lacking in grand history but there are many places around the state that seem to get overlooked. One of the most historic in our great state is the San Fernando Cathedral in San Antonio—the oldest, continuously functioning religious community in the State of Texas.

It is believed that the first cornerstone was set by settlers from the Canary Islands. It was originally named Church of Nuestra Señora de la Candelaria y Guadalupe, in 1731. It did play a part in the 1836 Battle of the Alamo. It is where Mexican General Antonio López de Santa Anna ordered a red flag to be flown from the top of the church to signal that he intended to give no quarter once the battle began.

It served as the church for all of the religious denominations of San Antonio (as the Catholic Church was the only recognized religion of the Spanish and Mexican governments prior to Texas’ independence).

And, while it was a religious center for the people, it also enjoys a rich history of responding to the people's needs in and around the church.

Francois Giraud, a former mayor and San Antonio city engineer, started reconstruction in 1868, as the church was full of bats and crumbling.

Though much construction was done on the building, the original walls in what is now the sanctuary allowed it to be considered Texas’ oldest church and the oldest cathedral in the United States. The construction gave it a new nave, bell tower and buttresses.

Though, for many years it was thought to be the burial site for many brave Texans who defended the Alamo, (a claim made prominent by Colonel Juan Sequin at the end of the 19th century) the Texas State Historical Association has disproved this. Nonetheless, this remains its claim to fame. Designated a cathedral by the Catholic Church in 1874, its visitors have included James Bowie, President Lyndon Johnson and Pope John Paul II. Today hundreds of people enter the church daily to pray, visit, light a candle, or follow various devotional traditions. Over 5,000 attend masses each week of the year.

The story of this magnificent place is continually being furthered through the many special events which are held regularly, and through the tour busses which arrive constantly. These are an ongoing tribute to its enduring presence as the spiritual center of San Antonio.

Christina Castle is a freelance writer who lives in Dallas, TX.

10 | FEATURE

Seven Bloodlines of Longhorn History

By Jet Parker

When you think of Texas, you think of Longhorns. From the University of Texas mascot, the sculptures

by Frederic Remington and the western art of Charles Russell, the Longhorn is synonymous with strong Texas history.

But, what most do not know is that by the beginning of the 1900s, buffalo outnumbered Longhorns, and Longhorns were on the verge of extinction. 40 years earlier, the North American Longhorn population was estimated at 40,000 head.

A compelling story of their comeback, along with this outstanding chapter in Texas history, is chronicled at The Butler Longhorn Museum. Today, the Longhorn is alive and well due to the efforts of six pioneer breeders and a few far-sighted federal employees who refused to allow these animals to become extinct.

The Butler Longhorn Museum in League City, Texas (a community that developed around the Butler Ranch and Cattle Station) is the birthplace of the Butler Longhorn bloodline. The museum is a unique cultural attraction for tourists. It displays western art, music, Longhorn artifacts and Texas historical items.

But, more importantly, it documents the story of Milby Butler and the role he played in saving the Texas Longhorn from extinction. The museum showcases the rich and diverse multicultural heritage of League City through the histories of the original ranching and farming families of the great American West.

FEATURE | 11

Most present day Texas Longhorn cattle are descended from seven families, each of which had its own distinctive attributes.

To a longhorn producer today, it is vitally important to have an understanding of an animal’s pedigree and the degree to which it has been genetically influenced by one or more of those families.

Longhorn cattle have been a part of the history of North America since 1493. That is when Spanish settlers, accompanying Christopher Columbus, brought the first few long-horned Iberian cattle with them to the Antilles Islands. As settlers moved to Mexico in search of gold, the ‘longhorns’ went with them. Spanish missionaries then brought them into Texas. By the 1780s, the influence of the missions declined greatly, and the majority of cattle ranching passed into the hands of private ranchers.

In Texas, the heaviest concentrations of Longhorns were located in an area between the Nueces River and the Rio Grande. Overall, it can be said, that between 1493 and the mid-1800s, Longhorns flourished in the Americas. While the cattle drives of the 1870s and 1880s have become romanticized and legendary, the greater influence of these drives was in the exportation of the “Texas Longhorn system.”

This system encompassed not only the Longhorn animal itself, but also the management technique used in southern Texas that allowed cattle to care for themselves year-round in stationary pastures on the free range Opened in May 2009, The Butler Longhorn Museum and Heritage Park were purchased by the city of League City in 2002 with a $400,000 grant from Texas Parks and Wildlife Department. The former home of local banker Walter Hall was transformed into a state-of-the-art museum.

Located just 20 miles southeast of Houston and minutes from NASA, The Butler Longhorn Museum sits on ten acres, with the museum, itself, housed in an 8,000 sq. ft., three-story, ADA-compliant structure. The surrounding park boasts a gazebo, flower garden, fishing pond and an area for bird watching. It is the first of its kind and is expected to be included in the Guinness Book of Records for the world’s largest Longhorn history collection.

Local artist, Jason Patterson worked behind a makeshift windscreen as he created a 60-foot mural of longhorns at the museum and they look real enough to start a stampede across the museum grounds.

Jet Parker is a freelance writer who lives in Dallas, TX.

12 | IN THE NEWS

Postponing the Day of Reckoning

By Nick Trout As baby boomers, we have been setting trends and living life to the fullest our whole lives! It was our mantra to change the world and we still feel that it is not wise to repeat the patterns of our parents, but rather continue to improve our standing and contribute to the world.

It is certain that our generation of “peace-love & war” flower children will continue steering American culture as we age and will postpone sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch for as long as we can.

We will not go into retirement quietly nor, in most instances, is it what we might have imagined. This train of thought was never more evident than in 1967 when Time Magazine’s “Man of the Year” was named— not as a single person, but as an entire generation—baby boomers!

Boomers came of age in the 1950s and 1960s with Beatlemania, the Vietnam War, the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., transistor radios and the novelty of the first color TV sets.

Our generation changed views about retirement and aging, transformed relationships (with delayed marriages, fewer children, more divorces) and flipped traditional ideas about careers and the roles of women.

How Boomers Are Different from Our Parents as We Face Retirement Living Longer. Retirement for us boomers will last longer than retirement for our parents and some seniors will be retired for more years than we have spent working. Living a long life has become commonplace.

No Pension. Living longer means we will have to finance more retirement years than our parents did. More employers freeze pensions each year and replace them with 401(k)s.

Managing Investments.

Those without traditional pensions will have to continue managing their own nest eggs throughout retirement or will have to hire professional help. We will have to decide how to allocate our portfolios/funds to make it through the retirement years.

Retirement is a wonderful time to live the life of our dreams. We can achieve new successes, learn new skills, visit new places, start new businesses, develop new friendships, and enhance our family relationships.

IN THE NEWS | 13

Part-Time Work. Working a part-time job for seniors is very appealing as some will need the income and benefits, some will want the socialization and others will fight the boredom of not being mentally challenged.

Lower Social Security Benefits. While our parents were able to collect their Social Security benefits, we are caught in the quagmire of losing value as the retirement age keeps getting raised, thus causing cuts in our benefits.

Being Active. Yes, we boomers are the generation of change and will pioneer a lifestyle of reinvention again and again.

Retiring with Debt. Carrying the debt of mortgages, college for children, credit cards and medical expenses into retirement means baby boomers will have to cut back on discretionary spending.

Sandwich Generation. It is up to us, the sandwich generation, to find a way to manage caring for aging parents and helping adult children while taking care of our own retirement needs.

Diverse Retirement Locations. Boomers want to be where the actions is—amenities, recreation, diversity. And, we want to be where there are employment opportunities.

Nick Trout touts news from the financial industry and subjects that interest men‌and women!

16 | HEALTHY LIFE

What’s Your Happy Practice?

By Shay Banks “Huh?” That’s the response I get every time I ask the women I coach this question.

“I’m sorry. Repeat the question. Did you say…happy practice?”

When I began coaching women three years ago, that response startled me. I thought for sure that everyone had a happy practice, even if they didn’t call it that. Maybe they called it “me time” or taking a “time out”. Either way, I have been shocked and amazed at how many people don’t have “me time” or a daily “time out” either. It’s an idealistic concept to many— something they’ll do “someday” but not today.

Today, they just need a way to pay the bills.

“Yes,” I say patiently, “your happy practice.

How do you create happiness in your life every day?”

This is usually followed by a pregnant pause, a mumble, and another pause. And then, the question that 99% of these women ask is: “What’s that got to do with [insert problem here]?”

Everything.

Millions of people know they should work out every day if they want to stay fit and lead a long and healthy life. Whether they do it or not, is a completely different story. However, happiness is imperative to your health as well and it doesn’t get half the publicity that diet and exercise do. It’s assumed that once you change your diet and exercise more, of course you’ll be happy.

You and I both know that’s not true. How many people do you know who have had weight loss surgery, expected happiness after their sudden thinness, didn’t find it, and ended up gaining the weight back? How many people do you know who have gotten married, expected happiness, realized that it’s a lot of hard work, and ended up walking away? This happens not because losing weight isn’t great and marriage isn’t wonderful, but because happiness wasn’t already being practiced.

Our culture, (falsely) treats happiness as a result. Meaning, you can’t get it until you’ve achieved something. You can’t be happy before

HEALTHY LIFE | 17

the weight loss, you can’t be happy before the marriage, and you can’t be happy before the dream job. You’re “supposed to” be happy afterwards. That event/thing/circumstance is supposed to make you happy.

We practice happiness so that we can nourish our soul. Consider your happy practice a workout for your spirit. And since it’s a work out, it’s essential that you practice happiness 30 minutes a day, 5-6 days per week. How?

And that, my dear, is a colossal problem.

Turn off your computer, cell phone, IPad, TV, and all other electronics.

Happiness is not a result of achieving something. Happiness is you. Your unique self is happiness. You already have it. The problem is, a lot of times, there’s a tendency in our culture to forget that. We continually believe that once x,y,z is in place, then we’ll be happy. But there are plenty of people in the world who got x,y,z and are still miserable.

For 30 minutes per day, do something that makes you unbelievably happy. It could be painting your toenails, taking a nap, reading a good book or one of jokes, lying on your sofa and staring into space, turning on music and dancing, drinking a nice glass of wine, jumping on your bed, playing with your grandchildren, etc. It’s doing anything that revives your soul (and doesn’t involve an electronic device).

It’s not because having those things are bad.

They’re not. But those things cannot be the definition of happiness for you because they’ll never fulfill you on a soul level.

So, if happiness is not something that’s achieved and it’s something that we already are, why do you need to practice it?

Don’t underestimate having a happiness practice. It may not be as popular as diet and exercise, but it’s also an important component of fitness. By doing this on a consistent basis, you raise your energy levels and magnificent things begin to come into your life without much effort on your part. And that’s something worth smiling about.

Shay Banks is an author, freelance writer and relationship coach who lives in Dallas, Texas.

18 | HEALTHY LIFE

Are You a Champion?

By Scott Schilling

What is your motivation? Why do you do what you do? Is it the money? Is it the prestige?

Does it make your heart feel good? Or maybe it’s a little of each? These are some of the questions I ask myself (and others) consistently as I explore new and better ways to contribute to society as a whole and make a positive impact through my speaking, training, coaching and writing.

These are also the questions I would ask of anyone that is championing a cause, charity or other worthy organization.

Are you a Champion? I guess for me it really all relates back to a quote I read and embodied many years ago from the great Zig Ziglar, “You can have anything in life you want, when you simply help enough other people get what they want!”

Since high school, when I first read See You at the Top, Zig’s quote has stuck with me and been one of my guiding principles. These days it’s called Servant Leadership…Rotary International terms it “Service above Self!” The good book says, “Treat others as you would be treated yourself!” Wherever or however you determine your definition, I believe we have all been put on this planet to continually grow spiritually, personally and professionally; and to serve one another through the talents and capabilities we have been granted.

As boomers, the ideas of contribution, making a difference and giving back are, many times, the reason for existing.

Something seems to happen as many achieve boomer age. What once was important is no longer all that important. Or the things that used to be so all consuming are just not that consuming.

Whatever the cause of this change, whether perceived or real, for many boomers, it is very real… to me included.

When people ask what I do, the short answer is “I help people help people!” My path has been fairly unique starting in corporate America like

HEALTHY LIFE | 19

so many straight out of school, then consulting and training, then speaking and sharing the stage rubbing elbows with some of the biggest names on the platform. Take all of these experiences and roll them up and what you find out is what is really important to you and others going forward. The conclusion I’ve come to is that people want to love and be loved, matter and be seen as mattering, and living and get the most out of life.

Ultimately, it’s my desire to see everyone live a totally fulfilled and wonderful life. While this may sound like utopia, but with a little focus, it is totally achievable. I also recognize that, for many, it doesn’t always work the way it was planned. We all face bumps in the road. The question is, “Are we doing what we can do to help smooth out those bumps for ourselves…and others?” The bumps are where the opportunities come in!

In many of my talks I say, “If you have a big enough WHAT, and a strong enough WHY, the HOW shows up!” When you have a big enough WHAT you want to accomplish in your life, and a strong enough WHY you want to accomplish it, the HOW shows up. Most people only focus on the HOW…how is this going to happen? It’s really kind of the wrong question. Focus on WHAT and WHY…and potential HOWs show up.

Get yourself focused on legacy and contribution; you’ll be amazed at the various opportunities that present themselves for you

to help others with their challenges and also help yourself in the process.

If you are at all like me, it’s come to your attention that there are some very worthy causes that are having an extremely tough time “staying afloat” financially. Because of these difficulties, much of the impact and many of the services they are providing have lessened.

This means a reduction in the amount of ‘good’ they have been able to do. The biggest problem is that we, as a society, need the ‘good’ they can provide more than ever! Less ‘good’ is definitely a step in the wrong direction.

At a time where there is more need than ever to support the greater good, many institutions are burdened past their breaking points. This is a slippery slope that needs to be addressed immediately.

So, with that, I have two questions: Do you or your organization need to increase your fundraising to support your efforts? Or, would you personally like to be able to contribute more to your favorite cause? If the answer to

20 | HEALTHY LIFE

either of these questions is YES, I’d love to talk with you. No matter the issue, banding together and talking through potential solutions has always worked. As Napoleon Hill said in Think and Grow Rich, “MasterMinding is when two or more minds come together to create a third and greater Mastermind!”

world as a whole. The first step to doing it is simply deciding you want to make a difference.

Taking action towards it comes next. Let’s see what we can accomplish with a little “want to”!

Any time more brain power and, in most cases, heart power come together to co-create potential solutions, amazing things can happen.

There have been some very creative fundraising solutions developed that may work well and be advantageous to you and your support base.

The only way we’ll know is to take a look at what’s going on in your world, and seeing if any of these ideas could be of service to you.

There is a concept of “High Intention and Low Attachment” that I teach in many of my trainings. It comes down to having a high intention of doing something good, and a low attachment as to what that good looks like.

Banding together, boomers can make a huge, positive impact on our communities and the

If you’re interested in exploring this concept more, please go to: www.CouldThisBeYourHow.com to tell us about your organization and needs. Feel free to share why this cause or situation is important to you so we can potentially help you enroll others into your vision. We’ll get back to you quickly to share some thoughts of how, by working together, we may be able to address your specific situation.

There’s something about us boomers…and I for one like it!

Scott Schilling is a Business Growth Expert that speaks, trains, coaches and writes on topics specifically designed to help others make positive improvements in their thoughts, actions and success.

To learn more please visit: www.ScottSchilling.com

22 | HEALTHY LIFE

Almond Joy Brownie Bites Have I told you lately how much I love my foodie blogging friends?? They give me inspiration to make my own Easter basket treats!! They rock as far as inspiration factor goes! Just take a look at what they inspired me to make.

This oh-so-easy recipe is a must have for Easter basket treats!

Almond Joy Brownie Bites (my interpretation) Ingredients: •

• • • •

1 box Entenmann's Brownie Bites (If you want to use other brands or make your own brownies, please do.

Just cut them into bite-size pieces.)

1 can sweetened condensed milk 2 packages (7 oz. each) shredded coconut.

15 whole Almonds 16-18 oz. chocolate for melting (may use chocolate melts or chocolate chips)

HEALTHY LIFE | 23

Preparation: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Place condensed milk and coconut in a mixing bowl.

Stir until combined well.

Place each brownie bite on a parchment-lined cookie sheet.

Top each brownie with 2 Tbsp. of coconut mixture.

Place almond atop each coconut-covered brownie (see photo above).

Chill in refrigerator for 2 hours.

Place chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl (8 oz. at a time) In microwave, heat chocolate in bowl for 30 seconds on high.

Remove and stir. If necessary, continue heating in microwave at 10-second intervals--stirring in between each interval. Be sure to not over heat the chocolate as it will seize (crystallize).

10. Once chocolate is melted, dip the top of each brownie bite into chocolate.

11. Place dipped bites on baking sheet and set out on counter until hardened. (Approximately 30 minutes) They are now ready to decorate, package or serve!

Delish!!

Enjoy!

Thanks for reading, Laurie Alves. FoodIsLove.blogspot.com.

Email: foodislove@ymail.com | Facebook: www.facebook.com/foodslove | Twitter: @foodslove

24 | HEALTHY LIFE

A Happier Nose: Fighting Allergies Naturally

By Laura Yoo

It's been another very mild winter, here in Dallas, and that means another doozy of an allergy season. For some people, this means over-the-counter antihistamines until the next freeze. The less lucky find that even the nondrowsy ones make us feel a bit...off. Steroid nasal sprays can be helpful, unless you are prone to nosebleeds, dryness, or need your immune system at its peak. Is it time for antibiotics for your regular sinus infection?

Don’t count on it; 90% of them are viral. (If you do have significant swelling and a high fever along with sinus symptoms, yours might be bacterial.)

Re-doing your hair vs. feeding the snot factory.

You choose.

Speaking of grooming, are your eyes stinging? It might actually be product rather than pollen.

Even the most hypoallergenic crème is not meant to contact your eyes themselves. Pat your moisturizer only up to the eye socket, and your body heat will help the product travel to

Here are some pharmaceutical-free tips for a happier nose this spring: DON'T SLEEP ON IT You spend a lot of time in bed; make sure you're not bringing your allergens in for the night. Start with clean bedding and wash it in hot water at least once every two weeks. Who goes to bed with you? Has your dog been outside? Give Rover a rinse. Shower, bathe, or at least rinse off before you go to bed. I know, not great for hairstyle maintenance.

the delicate skin around the eyes without getting it IN your eyes.

HEALTHY LIFE | 25

KEEP IT CLEAN If you’ve de-pollinated your bed and you still wake up feeling your worst, you may be allergic to dust mites. Zip your pillows into a mite-proof casing. As much as I love the idea of going green, think about all the pollen that covers line-dried laundry. What you save in electricity, you’ll pay for in symptoms.

effective. The rinse bottles have a one-way valve to eliminate backwash, and the force of the squeeze combines with gravity to get the solution through any congestion. This is different from a spray. A mist is better than nothing, but again, look at your car. If you mist a spot, it’s not going to get as clean as with a stream of running water.

To do a rinse, you need to use previously-boiled or distilled water, at a comfortably warm temperature, with the right amount of salt, sinus rinsing can be very pleasant. Just remember to breathe through your mouth while you clean your nose.

WHAT SHOULD I EAT? WHAT SHOULDN'T I EAT?

When’s the last time you changed your central air filter? Your vacuum bags and filters? When’s the last time your home was vacuumed? Even if your rugs and your filters don’t look dirty, consider that allergens trigger symptoms on a microscopic level.

SINUS IRRIGATION So now that your home environment is as clean as can be, what’s inside your head? Pollen is sticky. It’s tenacious. Its job is to hitch a ride and cling until it gets where it’s going. I mean, look at your car. Some of that is stuck on the hairs inside your nose, making it itch and run. Don’t you want it out?

Sometimes people think saline spray and sinus rinsing (or irrigation) do the same thing. They don’t. Sinus rinses/irrigations are far more

For almost every condition, I would advise increasing the intake of fresh fruits and vegetables. Hay fever requires a caveat to this advice. With pollen allergies, you should be careful about eating related plants. Sometimes raw produce (or even cooked celery and nuts) can set off allergic reactions. Specific offenders include: avocados, berries, citrus, grapes, mango, figs, peanuts, pineapple, pomegranates, and watermelon.

On the following page is a chart for more specific pollen/food correlations. If you are allergic to the pollen, it does not mean you are allergic to all the foods, but you may be more susceptible to reactions in that group.

26 | HEALTHY LIFE

alder

almonds, apples, celery, cherries, hazelnuts, peaches, pears, parsley

birch

almonds, apples, apricots, avocados, banana, carrot, celery, cherries, chicory, coriander, fennel, hazelnuts, kiwi, nectarines, parsley, parsnips, peaches, pears, peppers, plums, potatoes, prunes, soy, wheat

grass

melons, tomatoes, oranges

mugwort

carrots, celery, coriander, fennel, parsley, peppers, sunflower

ragweed

banana, cucumber, green pepper, paprika, melon, sunflower, zucchini, echinacea, artichoke, dandelion, hibiscus, chamomile

The trick to enjoying a pleasant spring day outdoors is not to treat your allergy symptoms, but to prevent them BEFORE they kick in.

Laura Yoo is a licensed acupuncturist in the state of Texas.

She practices at the Manning Wellness Clinic in Dallas, Texas.

HEALTHY LIFE | 27

STOP Being the Ears of People with Hearing Loss in Denial

By Sergei Kochkin, Ph.D. Executive Director Better Hearing Institute

Some of the most aggravating aspects of living with an individual with hearing loss, who is in denial (everyone mumbles they say), is constantly repeating yourself, speaking louder, or interpreting the world for them.

There is a way to release yourself from this maddening co-dependent relationship and, at the same time, to motivate your loved one to seek help for their hearing loss.

Dr. Richard Carmen (Auricle Ink Publishers, Sedona) has done a masterful job of offering help to family members in his book, How Hearing Loss Impacts Relationships: Motivating Your Loved One. In addition, as advisor to the Better Hearing Institute, he offers suggestions on our website under the title, “When a Loved One Resists Help.”

I encourage all people (caught in the trap of being the ears for their loved one) to read both Dr. Carmen's book and his advice on this website. Let me summarize the key aspects of how you can set yourself free: 1. Understand that being the ears of your loved one is not an act of love.

2. Assisting loved ones in denial is counterproductive and encourages codependent relationships. Continuing to give help could lead to your loved one's failure in life as well as impact many aspects of their quality of life (such as performance on the job). It is important you understand the areas impacted by untreated hearing loss as documented on the Better Hearing Institute website.

3. And remember, if you continue to help them why should they seek help?

4. Make it your ULTIMATE goal to have your loved one hear independent of you; and don't do it alone. Get your entire family and their friends in your corner in a productive conspiracy to get your loved one in denial to finally realize they have a hearing problem.

5. Dr. Carmen's practical tips are: STOP repeating yourself! STOP raising your voice! STOP being the messenger by carrying the communication load for the family! In essence this means, STOP BEING THEIR EARS!

Here is one very clever intervention that could set you free. Explain to your loved one, in a calm, loving, noncondemnatory voice, as follows: The whole family has had a talk. We believe you have a hearing loss and in the past we have helped you by speaking louder, repeating ourselves, or interpreting what other people have said. In effect we have become your hearing aid. But we realized this might not be the most loving acts we can do for you. We love you very much and want you to get help for your hearing loss.

So from now on we will move toward stopping repeating ourselves when you say "Huh" or "What did he say?" and we will move toward no longer speaking louder so you can understand us. Instead we will simply say the words "Hearing Helper" (or choose another signal word that has meaning for your family) before we give you help. This is our signal to you that you have just asked us to be your ears. This is our way of demonstrating our love for you — that is by showing you how many times you ask for help.

So for X period of time (e.g. a few weeks) we will continue to help you but we will preface our help with the words "Hearing Helper"…we think in a short period of time you will realize how many times you seek our help in hearing."

Many loved ones who are in denial will soon realize how much they use your ears. When this happens, they will seek help. Encourage them in their journey to a world of better hearing, and enjoy your new found freedom!

Reprinted with permission of the Better Hearing institute

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30 | THE ARTS

For the Love of ArtLoveMagic!

By Robin Roberson

Once in a while you meet someone doing something for altruistic reasons because it is the right thing to do and from the goodness of their heart. Such was the case when I met world re-known Dallas artist, David Rodriguez, who along with fellow artists Michael Lagocki and Justin Nygren founded ArtLoveMagic in 2007. Per the three, “Our inspiration was the belief that a staggering amount of artistic talent in our area (Dallas/Fort Worth) was going unrecognized and/or underdeveloped. We knew from personal experiences that artists, writers, and musicians thrive when they work together in creative environments. We decided to throw live art and performance events. �They now create the most astounding live/interactive experiences that bring artists and performers together in brilliant ways to educate and kindle children from 6 to 60. And I, for one, applaud them for taking these happenings from just creating and showcasing art to giving others the opportunity for instruction with free creative rein.

Painting, drawing, photography, poetry, music, sculpture, jewelry, fashion, and dance have all been featured at ArtLoveMagic events.

THE ARTS | 31

ArtLoveMagic is an exciting platform for artistic expression, especially for our youth. What could be more astounding than being immersed in a culture for expanding one’s interests in the arts? While school arts programs are victims of budgetary cuts, ArtLoveMagic is filling the void. How can we hope to inspire art in our children and grandchildren, heck in ourselves, if there are no outstanding and affordable programs of knowledge and sharing?

Without your support and donations these outstanding events could not happen. ArtLoveMagic survives totally on donations of time, energy, knowledge and experience, as well as financial sponsorships for each show. If you’d like to donate to or volunteer for future workshops, please contact ArtLoveMagic.com.

As a lover of the arts, I value any and all endeavors to promote creative expression and this is one great opportunity for our community to stand up and say YES to Art!

Robin Roberson is publisher of BoomerBuzz Magazines and a freelance writer.

All Photography By: Nicole Rodriguez

32 | THE ARTS

The Texas Art Scene Every art genre and artists of many mediums can be found throughout the Lone Start sate. Texas has many diverse and exciting art festivals which highlight the wide range of visual art to music and museums. Boomerbuzz Texas© wantes to share a few of the current and upcoming exhibits with y’all.

AUSTIN Enjoy Fusebox Festival, April 17-28, 2013—an annual art festival that is a hybrid of contemporary and performance art. It features many local artists from the Austin area and artists from around the world. It is a one-of-a-kind cultural event that champions innovative art from various mediums. Austin is known as the music mecca of Texas but also has a growing arts community. Home to over 40 galleries and several museums, Austin offers numerous special events as well.

CORPUS CHRISTI For a fabulous weekend celebration of artistic and cultural presentations, venture to the jewel of the South Texas coastline, Corpus Christi’s Festival of Arts, the last weekend of March, 2013. Blue skies, waterfront views and cool gulf breezes are the backdrop for this exciting annual event that showcases performances of contemporary and folk dance, ballet, theater, live music, outstanding visual art exhibits, sand sculptures and a KidZone for those 12 and under.

DALLAS The 19th annual Deep Ellum Arts Festival offers up a great day of fun on Friday, April 5, 2013! It is an adult-oriented visual and performing arts festival hosting an enormous street party that showcases over 100 original bands and singer/songwriters on five open-air stages. The festival features the work of over 200 top-notch juried artists in both decorative and visual art. You’ll also enjoy poetry, muralists, dancers, abundant food and drink, and their renowned Pet Parade.

HOUSTON The 2013 French Cultures Festival in Houston is being held March 8-25, 2013 and celebrates all things French. It launches with a concert at Discovery Green Park and features French and local musicians, French food and wine, art, lectures, cinema and parties.

SAN ANTONIO Luminaria, March 9, 2013 transforms downtown San Antonio and HemisFair Park into a nighttime canvas of innovative, interactive and contemporary art from all mediums. This annual event (held in the evening hours) showcases visual art, music, theatre and performance, literary works/readings, media offerings and dance.

This bracelet was a gift Amber Apodoca received from the center where she helped teens with drug and alcohol problems. She was wearing it when an underage drunk driver took her life.

Photo by Michael Mazzeo

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.

34 | TEXAS STYLE

The Texas Spring Gardener

By Julese Crenshaw

For a vegetable gardener, the month of April may be a combination of cool-weather harvests and warm-weather planting. Spring marks the beginning of the growing season for many foods. North Texas vegetable gardens can provide a home to a variety of delicious and nutritious foods.

Tomatoes, peppers, eggplants and okra are a few crops that will start well in April. Tomatoes and peppers require some type of support for best results. The support can be a cage or any type of structure that provides sections for the plants to rest their branches on.

TEXAS STYLE | 35

Support has many advantages for a plant: • • •

Provides good air circulation Prevents soil exposure to plant parts Allows more sun exposure

Given support, the plant parts will not be laying on the ground. This prevents the leaves from getting soaked through the watering process, inhibiting chlorine damage and mold. Stakes are recommended for eggplants, especially large-fruited varieties. Okra plants do great in this area and do not require support; however, they do need a lot of room.

A couple of different types of legumes can be planted during the month of April. These crops include pole and bush bean varieties and southern peas. Legumes are nutrient-dense foods—known for being high in protein and fiber, they also contain several vitamins, minerals and beneficial plant compounds known as phytochemicals.

April is also the ideal month to plant corn and vining plants like; cucumber, pumpkin, squashes, melons and sweet potato.

Be aware that April 1st is the last recommended planting date for collards, rutabaga and mustard.

36 | TEXAS STYLE

Most vegetables can be grown in pots with the proper soil mixture.

Vegetable Planting Guide for North Texas with an April focus: Begin planting: • •

April 5- eggplant, cantaloupe, okra April 15- sweet potato slips

These foods can be planted throughout the month: • • • • • •

Radish Beans (snap bush, yellow bush, pinto) Corn (sweet) Cucumber (pickling, slicing) Squash (summer, pan-type, winter, zucchini) Watermelon

Last day to plant: • • •

April 1- collard, mustard April 15- tomato transplants April 20- beans (snap pole, lima pole, lima bush) Julese Crenshaw is a freelance writer from Tennessee.

38 | TEXAS STYLE

The Hues for You

By Carla McMahon

Pantone, the Great Oz of color palettes, announces “Emerald Green” as THE color of 2013. For more than a decade, Pantone’s Color of the Year has influenced products especially in fashion and home décor.

Emerald green was chosen because it offers balance and harmony along with radiance which will enhance everyone’s lives in this year of uncertainty.

Whether it is an emerald cut, the Emerald City or the Emerald Isles, this vibrant gemstone color adds depth, dimension and sophistication to fashion and couture, as well as to decorating and home décor.

Green is the new neutral, the most abundant color in nature and the color our eyes see more

than any other. The color of money, envy and the environment, it promises to bring new life to tired wardrobes and rooms with its romantic, magical qualities. The reality is that a large part of how our style evolves each year is derived directly from the clothing, hair, beauty and accessory trends we see featured in fashion, sweeping the runways, gracing the magazine pages or spied on the streets.

And, the colors presented in these venues become the options we select from each season— Not because we have to follow them, but because they inspire us.

Though warm weather, sunny beaches and cool summer breezes may seem a distant wish, fashion is always looking ahead and the spring and summer collections are here now.

Perhaps next year we will all click our heels and ruby will reign as the queen of Oz, as well as the color spectrum!

TEXAS STYLE | 39

Designers’ Use of Color Spring 2013

40 | BOOM VOYAGE

Best Resort Hotels in Spain

By Lyn E. Cathey

We were privileged to camp out in three, wonderful Spanish hotels – all Hiltons.

First was the Airport Hilton in Madrid. We chose this hotel because we arrived late from Amsterdam and had a very early morning flight to Barcelona two days later.

So, opting for the convenience of proximity to the airport, we thought we’d be compromising on charm, amenities and access to main attractions in downtown Madrid. This was not the case. We could not have been more wrong!

The Airport Hilton was beautiful, ultra contemporary in style and within walking distance of local shopping and restaurant areas patronized almost entirely by locals – no tourists!

Additional bonus – it was only a short, inexpensive taxi ride to the center of Madrid and the famous Prado museum.

The second resort was the Hilton Diagonal Mar in Barcelona. The hotel is located at the ocean end of Diagonal Boulevard (hence the name). This property is only one block

BOOM VOYAGE | 41

from the beach, has its own local neighborhood of shops and restaurants.

near Palma that seemed over-run by peak season tourists. The other subtle but important advantage – the humidity was much, much lower at this inland property.

It had much more of a warm, dry desert climate; whereas more beach-centric areas were very, very humid with a “tropical heat” feel.

Our tenth-floor room was a spacious corner suite overlooking both the pool deck and beach.

We experienced great food and excellent service at all three hotels – the food being particularly memorable at the Hilton Sa Torre – and at a very reasonable price compared to the more “touristy” places near Palma.

The third hotel was the new (less than a year old during our visit) Hilton Sa Torre on the island of Mallorca. Located 15 miles from the main city of Palma and several miles inland, we were at first disappointed that we were not near the beach. After several days we realized,: however, that this inland location had some very worthwhile advantages.

Because of its out-of-theway location, the resort had a very exclusive feel to it – unlike other hotels

Lyn E. Cathey has been in the travel business for over 30 years as owner of TripFinder.com. He enjoys travel, guitar, photography/videography and cooking. But, his true passion is humorous writing! He lives with his family in Memphis, TN and will regularly grace the pages of Boomer Buzz with his funny random thoughts on traveling the world.

42 | BOOM VOYAGE

Passport to Travel Safety

By Jet Parker

When you travel abroad, the odds are you will have a safe and incident-free trip. Travelers can, however, become victims of crime and violence, or experience unexpected difficulties. Every day of the year, U.S. embassies and consulates receive calls from American citizens in distress.

Personal safety is an important factor to consider while traveling. Whether you’re out of town on a business trip, visiting friends and family, or just exploring the beauty of the states or a country abroad, when you’re away from home, you’re out of your element. You don’t know the way around town or the high-crime areas to avoid, so you’re more vulnerable than at home. But, there are plenty of things you can do to protect yourself on the road.

1. Never list your home address on the luggage tag. If on business, put the company's address on the tag; if visiting friends you can list their address. Use covered luggage tags as well.

2. Stay with your luggage until it is checked. If you must put your bag down, keep one foot on the handle.

3. Carry important papers with you; NEVER check anything that you simply cannot afford to lose. Photocopy your passport, driver's license and credit cards.

4. If you will be in the area where crime is high, you may want to hire a security escort.

5. If detained for whatever reason by an official, ask for identification. If in doubt, tell them that you want to see his superior. Keep your emotions in check.

6. Never wear anything that projects affluence. No gold chains, expensive watches and rings, luggage, or other paraphernalia should be in easy view. Better yet: leave your jewelry at home.

7. If possible travel with only one or two credit cards.

8. Never flash your money in public. Exchange funds with reputable and recognized exchangers only. Have tips ready in advance for service personnel.

9. Only stay in a hotel that uses cards to open room doors and make sure your room has a peephole and a deadbolt lock. Secure the chain and secure the door by pushing a rubber stop under it.

BOOM VOYAGE | 43

10. Stay in a room near a stairwell. Never take the elevator if a fire or smoke is detected. Always stay in a hotel where the doors enter the hallway and not directly from the outside.

11. Do not use unmarked taxi cabs. Sit behind the driver so you can see him, but he cannot see you. Pay the driver upon arriving at your destination and while you are still sitting in the vehicle.

12. If you must rent a car, rent only from a reputable company. Any operating problems that occur could signal sabotage. Back into your parking spaces to facilitate a quick exit. Park only in well-lit and well-traveled areas.

13. If your cell phone does not work outside of the country, consider renting one that does for the duration of your trip.

14. Women particularly should never accept a drink from a stranger. Keep an eye on your drink at all times.

15. Bring a small flashlight. You never know when you'll suddenly be "in the dark" and find yourself in unfamiliar surroundings. At night, keep your flashlight by your bed.

16. If traveling with children, bring along an updated photograph of each child in the event that you become separated from them. Write your child's name and your hotel number on each card; include a close friend or relative's contact information on the card. Give a card to each child which they will carry with them as long as you are away. Destroy once home.

17. Make sure that your prescription medicines are filled properly and labeled accurately. In some countries certain prescription medicines are forbidden.

18. Bring along a basic first aid kit with bandages, iodine, mosquito repellant, sunscreen, alcohol packets, Dramamine, Pepto Bismol, diarrhea medicine, etc.

19. Do not flash your passport in public. Discreetly show important documents to officials only.

20. Consider purchasing portable alarms that emit a loud sound.

The key to safe traveling in any area is situational awareness. Distractions because of luggage, children, hotel personnel, strangers, etc. can put you at risk. Know your surroundings and stay in control of every situation.

Jet Parker is a freelance writer who lives with his family in Dallas, Texas

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46 | BOOMER BUZZ

Give The Gift of a Fine Cigar

By Hot New Amazon Release Author Tim Vasquez

Is there a cigar fan on your gift list? Wondering how to choose a decent cigar for a friend or loved one?

(Or a bad one for an enemy). Even if you know nothing about cigars or choosing a good cigar, just learning a few basics can help you sniff out (HA!) a good cigar to give to a friend.

Cigars have entered the mainstream of ‘coolness’. Once the symbol of the rich and powerful, it's easier than ever for just about anyone to purchase a good cigar (blunt, anybody?) Of course, you probably won't be able to buy your friends a box of top-tier Cuban cigars (I am just assuming that you aren't Donald Trump), but you can definitely buy them a good quality cigar that will put a smile on their faces.

First, visit your local tobacconist or specialty smoke shop for the best quality and widest selection. Avoid 'drugstore' cigars. Seriously. How much do you like that friend? Unless you are on a wicked budget, stay away from those. Although they may be inexpensive and convenient to purchase, drugstore cigars are usually filled with preservatives and are generally of poorer quality. They may contain, at minimum, saltpeter, paper, glycerin, and other preservatives and irritants. (Think of a hot dog with all of those mystery ingredients. Same play, Sparky) You should make sure that the cigars you purchase are made of 100% tobacco. If you have any questions regarding the cigars ingredients, ask the salesperson. An experienced and knowledgeable sales clerk will be able to tell you extensive information about the ingredients. If you can talk to the owner of the shop, even better. That is how he makes his living and so he should be the “go-to” guy.

Your local tobacco shop is a good place to shop because you will generally be allowed to smell and touch the cigars. Squeeze the cigar gently. A good quality cigar will give a little when squeezed. (It might even giggle a little and look at you cloyingly, you sly boots) The cigar should be firm, with no excessively soft or hard spots. Never buy a lumpy cigar. Look at the wrapper. If you notice any drying or discoloration,

BOOMER BUZZ | 47

don't be getting it. Ideally, the wrapper should be tight and smooth. Inspect the color of the tobacco to make sure it is even. Do this by inspecting the end of the cigar. Some color variation is normal, but if the color changes abruptly, chances are the cigar was not rolled properly (like from brown to magenta, or pink, or polka dots). A cigar that is not rolled properly may result in an uneven burning and unpleasant odors.

If you're not sure how much your friend smokes, choose a longer cigar. Longer cigars tend to have a 'cooler' taste (It looks cooler, too!) So getting a longer one is an excellent choice for beginners. If you know your friend is an experienced and regular smoker, choose a cigar that is greater in diameter. These cigars tend to have a richer flavor that experienced smokers will appreciate. And if you are just completely stuck, get the friend a gift certificate and have them go pick it out themselves so you don't make any mistakes, but it's the thought that counts, right?

From the book “The Snarky Guide to Cigars�

Tim Vasquez is one of the leading SEO/SEM/Social Media Experts in the Dallas TX area. He is partner with Jaw Dropping Media. He writes for fun and his books, The Snarky Guide to Cigars and the No B.S. SEO Book For Business were both listed by Amazon as Hot New Releases

48 | BOOMER BUZZ

who needs paris

As a blogger who left her heart in Florence, it's easy to be envious of other bloggers living in foreign cities they love; cities boasting beauty with every forward step or sideways glance.

"If I had a better lens and we lived in Paris, I could take photographs as striking as theirs," I say to Spoke, kissing him on each cheek, shouting au revoir as I leave for the arboretum.

You might say it's become my little Parisian hideaway, this space of dense beauty with benches throughout on which to sit and savor, to think, or watch people stroll.

How beautiful the arboretum was during Dallas Blooms!

Each spring, the 66-acre Dallas Arboretum hosts the largest floral festival in the southwest, Dallas Blooms. Running from March 2 through April 7, the Dallas Blooms festival features more than 500,000 spring-blossoming bulbs and is consistently recognized as one of the premier worldwide destinations to view spring flowers.

BOOMER BUZZ | 49

I returned a second time to the festival, anticipating even more shots but the cherry blossom trees were by then hard to spot, a single bloom not to be found on their branches. Wisteria had begun to pale and tulip beds, though still beautiful, were losing their fullness.

I sat in the warm sun at a cafe table across from Crape Myrtle AlleÊ — the arching canopy of trees which I showed you last fall. The sweeping alley is my favorite spot in this park; perhaps, in all of Dallas.

It was then, with the briefest sideways glance, that I saw her and I took this photo.

I think it's very striking. www.from3906.blogspot.com

50 | BOOMER BUZZ

Easter Grass Stains

By Christopher Cyriaque

The white blooms fill the trees and the yellow dandelions peek through the clover that blankets the ground. Lots of eggs will be hiding amidst those full blades of grass and there will be bright green stains on my knees and elbows after the hunt. I visualize hopping around the big back yard finding those brightly colored oval orbs tattooed in a full array of rainbow hues. As I press my face against the paned glass of the door, I am filled with anticipation for those impending moments of discovery. I know this is going to be an exciting day!

My brother and I got our hair cut yesterday.

And now we have on matching light-blue pinstriped seersucker pants with starched white shirts and sky-blue bow ties. It is Easter once again.

My Mom is talking to Grandma about the glazed ham that is baking in the oven. And there is a coconut cake cooling under the glass dome

of the fancy cake plate that Grandma brings out only for festive occasions. The rich aromas permeate the entire house and smell so good.

Grandma says, “When we come back from church, we will share Easter dinner.�

I hear their soft voices as they work getting everything ready and I see Mom shaking her head as if she dreads what is to come. I wonder why.

All of this seems like a tall order to me, a seven year old, to have to go to church, then, wait for that ham and cake. Yet, even though it smells mouth-watering, my thoughts are really not on that pineapple clove-covered ham or sweet cake at all. I can only think about the crazy, wild running around that is to come when we search for the eggs that are hidden in the back yard; thoughts of where to look, the vibrant palette that will fill my Easter basket, the bunnies, the bright foil-wrapped chocolates. But most of all I

BOOMER BUZZ | 51

am thinking about how many eggs I will be able to find quickly.

Also, I see the grass stains that will be on the knees of my new suit after launching myself around the yard seeking those valued prizes, trying to get more than my brother; to be the big winner! It is all about beating him! And maybe a little bit about all the sweet bunnies in chocolate, yellow marshmallow chicks and pink ducks, crème- or cherry-filled eggs that will taste so good. I know Mom will be upset because we’ll definitely get dirt and grass on our “good clothes” and she’ll fuss about it with a sly grin to Grandma. “Is she really mad?”, I will wonder.

It really isn’t about the food that is being prepared or the dinner we will all enjoy. I’m just a kid. It’s about the fun of having the Easter egg hunt. It is the joy of knowing that the Easter bunny has something special hidden for me in the thick beds of green, under the bushes popping out in full glory and in the thick leaves of the pink and purple tulips that Grandma tenderly cares for each year. I know those ovals of brilliant and pastel colors will be tucked in the cushions of the yard furniture, maybe in the birdbath or edge of the house gutter. All over!

I see my mom smile as we bounce around the yard searching for the treasures awaiting us.

She has love on her face and in her eyes which I feel. And I see her mad at the same time. She will be joyful watching my brother and me, having fun this spring day, knowing we are growing up and there may not be many more Easter extravaganzas in the back yard.

For a moment, I also think she knows she will have a handful of work scrubbing the grass stains out of our clothes, much to her dismay.

But she will lovingly make our suits spotless again. Before the thrill begins, I think of all my Mom and Grandma do for us. And, even though there are looks of happiness with flashes of reality across her face, I believe Mom and Grandma know exactly what is going to happen, I think they plan for it every year, maybe with as much joy and anticipation as we do. And, I know she loves those grass stains. That makes me smile as if I have a hidden treasure deep in my heart that is just mine; like the golden egg prize hidden somewhere in that yard and for which I will gather grass stains just for her.

Christopher Cyriaque is an English professor and freelance writer.

52 | BOOMER BUZZ

Purple Prose

By Torrey Moseley It's early morning here...that time of day when the world around me is bathed in a soft peach glow that clings to everything in a warm honey-drenched blanket of light. In photography we call this the "golden hour". It's that time of day when, visually, everything comes alive. There are actually two times per day when this phenomenon occurs; early morning, just as the sun breaks the horizon, and late afternoon as the sun breathes out its last breath before night steals in. During the "golden hour" shadows become disproportionately long. It’s these gangly shadows that intrigue me and beckon me—like sirens calling to sailors— luring me to come… play.

When I was a kid, I used to stand in the street (please refrain from smart-mouthed comments about how Torrey used to play in the street). I would play with my shadow.

The two of us would dance in unison; twirling and jumping, bending and reaching. I marveled at the grace with which my shadowy twin would move.

Her wispy torso and limbs became elongated willow branches as they swayed in fluid motions that always made me think, "If flute music were to come to life and take solid form, it would look like my shadow; lilting, fluid, graceful...and purple."

Yes, to me flute music is purple—a sort of lilac color with hints of pink and twinges of blue.

I have always envied my shadow (and still do to this day).

It is tall, lithe, thin and filled with a beautiful gracefulness of which my "earthly" body is sadly bereft. For in my shadow lies perfection. My shadow is unencumbered. It’s un-ravaged by pain, unburdened by mortality. Its diaphanous form floats and glides along, effortlessly, paying no mind to anything that stands it its path. It's a part of me, and yet remains its own separate, entity.

Watching my shadow (as it stays firmly connected to my feet) always makes me think of Peter Pan. For when Peter lost his shadow, Wendy sewed it back on again with a loving hand that deftly stitched it back in place at the soles of Peter's elfin shoes. This is my favorite part of that timeworn story...probably because it speaks to the fact that our shadows are, indeed, beings in their own right. I like to

imagine that at night they disconnect themselves from their keepers and take flight on great adventures of their own—roaming the universe only to come be rejoined to their owners when the sun wakes up the world.

Have you ever really looked at the color of shadows? I mean REALLY studied them? Most people have the misconception that they are merely grey or black. This is so unjust, so misconstrued, so...wrong. For instance, shadows in and on snow are blue. Shadows cast during the "golden hour" are the complement of that thick, peachy, honey light that coats everything--they are purple...deep rich plums the color of eggplant, the darkest of indigo almost as dark as a midnight sky, sulky violets the color of a sky filled with foreboding storm clouds, smoky periwinkles that appear grey with a kiss of lavender. They are all beautiful...if only we would pay them more than just a passing glance. Alas, these umbrae usually go unnoticed. But to me, these shadows (with their corresponding objects firmly affixed) look like the royal velvet capes of kings and queens as they faithfully trail behind their subjects.

In art (painting to be specific) shadows are constructed by adding the complementary color of the object that falls in shadow. If the subject is yellow; a touch of purple is added to create a muted umber. If the subject is green; a bit of red provides that sense of shade and depth. Shadow is not merely the absence of light--it is the addition of color in a Ying-Yang fashion that brings with it...balance, to whatever it imbues.

This may, indeed, be why I treasure my shadow so.

Perhaps it reminds me that everything in life has its counterpart; that everything in life maintains a balance.

Ying-Yang Light-Dark Young-Old Masculine-Feminine Life-Death As it should be.

Torrey Moseley is a freelance artist and writer. She posts regularly on her blog www.left-field-studio.blogspot.com

54 | SENIOR SCENE

How to Talk to Aging Parents about Elder Care- Part III Don’t Argue or Fight.

By Claire Maestri

As I mentioned in my previous articles,

senior loved ones when this issue comes up.

(January/February 2013) start this discussion

Many times this discussion can be flat out

sooner rather than later. Once you open the

“heated.” Here are a couple of ideas to help you

door, you can walk through it over and over.

prevent that outcome.

Read up a bit on the subject. Give me a call if you need to chat it out. But, understand that you will never “feel” fully ready to discuss this matter. The important thing is to get the issue out on the table now and understand what your loved one’s wishes are before you have to make life-altering decisions under the stress and strain of an emergent situation.

1. Address the situation with humor if at all possible. The simple fact is that none of us get out of here alive! Many seniors find that humor is the only way to cope with aging issues. This is true in life. We have to be able to laugh and just “roll with the punches.”

When you feel

Now, to the topic for today: Fighting. We all

a comfortable,

have our own, shall we say “special” family

lighthearted

dynamics. But, it is common, as I have said

mood is in play,

before to have relational problems with your

just bring it up

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and tell Mom or Dad that you are ready to

3. Finally, be tuned in to the feedback you are

help them “laugh” their way through these

receiving. Your Grandpa may not say much

issues.

but if he moves around in an agitated

2. Think carefully about your timing. Don’t

manner, you might take it as a sign that you

bring this issue up in the middle of a family

need to back off a bit and rethink your approach. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues. When you feel the discussion moving in a negative direction, stop and revisit the issue at another time.

Aging is a natural process of life. It begins the moment we are born. Strangely enough, most of us live under the illusion that we and our

holiday where the stress is sometimes high anyway. Monday morning is probably not a good idea, either. Friday evening on the

loved ones will never become old. When old age arrives, we are often unprepared. The natural

order

becomes

reversed.

back porch might be a time when you are all relaxed. Maybe you can plant some seeds at that time about discussing it the following week over coffee. This allows for some “prep” time if necessary.

The young help to care for the old. Those who need to be taken care of for the first time have a hard time accepting that they need help. This condition is a product of our culture that does everything it can to conceal the loss of youth.

Confronting this reality is the beginning of a healthy relationship to life, aging and death.

Claire Maestri is a freelance writer of senior topics and an expert in helping families find quality senior care options.

She lives with her family in Dallas, TX

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How to Talk to Aging Parents about Elder Care- Part IV Don’t Take it Personally!

By Claire Maestri Decisions about care options are not easy for anyone. You may get a lot of “pushback” from your senior loved one when you first start down this path. The key is not to take it personally. Roll with the punches.

Remember, it is not about you!

The most important thing you can do during your first discussions about aging is show respect for your Mom’s or Dad’s opinions on the matter and any decisions they have made.

They have their reasons. Understand that everyone’s view of aging comes from a plethora of life experiences. Those life experiences have led them to their own reasoning on the matter.

As the adult child of a senior, you are going to have to work to see it from their perspective.

But they need you to “stand in their shoes” prior to relinquishing some authority or control to you. Once they see that respect in action, they will be more inclined to let you take the lead.

I recently cared for a man who was receiving end-of-life hospice care. Contrary to his wishes of dying in a Skilled Nursing Facility, his wife and children wanted him to go home. Observing the family as they struggled with this disagreement was “gut wrenching.” One thing I noticed was that no family member had inquired with the gentleman as to ‘why’ he did not want to go home. When I spoke with him, he shared that he knew he would die soon. His wife wanted him to die in the comfort of his home, but he didn’t want her to live in the place where he died. Once this issue came to the forefront, everyone was able to look at the situation from another perspective allowing for this gentleman to have a peaceful death.

So, in a nutshell, respect your parents and their wishes. Work hard to see life from their perspective.

Your efforts and motives will become clear and your parents will be more likely to readily accept your help in making these tough choices.

Claire Maestri is a freelance writer of senior topics and an expert in helping families find quality senior care options. She lives with her family in Dallas, TX.