Arivaca Parent Handbook by Border Eco

Parent Handbook

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Building Men of Integrity One Horse at a Timeâ&#x20AC;? 1

Parent Handbook Welcome to the Arivaca Boys Ranch. Please know we understand the difficult process you have been through to get to this point in your family’s life. Thank you for your trust. We want to include you in the entire process of your son’s journey and this handbook with assist you in understanding what your son is participating in, how he progresses through the program and other frequently asked questions. This handbook will be your guide and assistant to understand the procedure of your son’s treatment.

The Arivaca Ranch Hand Creed We, the young men of Arivaca Ranch are men of Integrity. We honor ourselves, our families, and the ranch by; Being honest in all our dealings, treating others with respect, treating others property with respect. We honor ourselves by being neat and clean. We honor the ranch by using appropriate language. We are not quitters; we get up when knocked down. We respect women in both word and deed. We stand up for what’s right, we defend the helpless, we serve the needy. We honor our families with relationships of trust. We seek learning and education… We seek to be the best we can be. We are men of integrity. This is the Arivaca Way! 2

Table of Contents Page 4-5 Letter Founder, Ron Searle Page 6- Contact Information Page 7- Arbinger Tele-Conference Course Page 8- Parent Weekend Page 9- Home Visits Page 10- Maverick Guidelines Page 11- Visiting the Ranch Protocols Page 12- Beginning to Communicate with Your Son Page 13- Communication Policy, Phone Calls Page 14- Packages and Letters Page 15- Phone Calls/Pet Policy Page 16-17 A Boys Schedule and Explanation Page 18- Sequoia Online School Policy Page 19- Parent Suggested Reading Material Page 20- Transportation Policy/ Directions to the Ranch Page 21- Psychiatrist Billing and Info Page 22- Refund Policy and Insurance Policy Page 23- 28 Arivaca Boys Ranch Program

Welcome Letter Welcome To Arivaca Ranch I am thrilled to invite you on a journey that will lead you and your family to a treasure of joy and enriched relationships. This journey is not easy, and at times will be frustrating and even discouraging. However, it works! The magic of Arivaca Boys Ranch eventually creates for each young man and his family the miracle everyone is looking for: Parents for sons, and sons for parents. Everyone wins! For the last forty plus years I have been involved in helping young men find their way through an often-challenging life. During that time, I have observed that no one ultimately does what they do not want to do, nor do they listen to, follow, receive instruction from (or inspiration from) those they do not trust and honestly feel care about them. I have learned that in order for there to be a true change of a person’s heart, to want to make good decisions and to have meaningful relationships with those that really matter, it has to be their decision, their desire, and most important, their idea. None of us like being told what to do. Arivaca Boys Ranch was founded on these principles: recognizing the needs, hopes, fears, and dreams of each young man. The Ranch experience gives him the chance to choose his path in an environment that recognizes his worth and value, adding tools to help him navigate through relationships, overcome personal challenges including emotional, mental, substance abuse--and some physical disabilities. In time, we see each young man truly desire to live a life of happiness based on principles of integrity.

This journey is not easy. Nor is it quick. Arivaca Boys Ranch is an experiential program, meaning that all the activities of the ranch, from daily “Bunk Life” to working and training a wild horse, create therapeutic opportunities to learn, understand, and practice principles that help create change in a young man’s desires and ability to cope with a difficult life. As the young man wakes each day to a combination of hard work, education, Arbinger principles, and unconditional acceptance, he starts to discover his own greatness, his personal worth.

Welcome Letter The ranch creates vision for a successful future. It takes time for this type of real change to occur. It is a road of trial and error. Only through experimentation in an environment that allows for mistakes, teaches proper correction, and reinforces good decisions, does a young man start to learn for himself. He starts to trust through his experiences here that there is a better way. At times parents might be frustrated as they see their son make progress and then slip backwards. The truth is that through the mistakes and backsliding a young man starts “getting it.” With the help of family, therapists, line staff, his horse, and especially peers, he actually experiences the better path, the better decision, and eventually finds the key to his personal happiness. Although we find commonality in all our young men, we recognize that every boy is different. Every boy learns at his own pace. Arivaca Ranch allows for that important truth. Your son’s treatment plan is based around his needs, his abilities and desires. One of the most powerful tools in this process is our unique brand of equine therapy. Your son will have the challenge to learn to communicate with a wild, 1000 lb animal in a new foreign language (natural horsemanship.) He will learn that the same principles that lead to good relationships with his parents and others will help him succeed in getting a wild horse to trust him, look to him for guidance and safety, and to form a partnership and synergy that gives your son a confidence he has never experienced before. These daily hands-on experiences with a horse help your son see the principles of Arbinger in practice in a unique way. He learns they work! He learns to apply them to his daily interactions with people. Most boys will give their horse credit as the biggest agent of change in their work here. As your son rises with the sun, feeds his horse, cleans both his horses stall and his bunk area, and moves through the ranch day, he is learning, growing, and figuring life out. He is discovering the keys to a happy, successful life. What a privilege it is for us to not just watch, but to participate in this great transformation. It is a thrill on his graduation day from Arivaca Boys Ranch, to hand back to you your son, a “Man of Integrity.” Please fill free to reach out to me (ron@arivacaboysranch.com) with any questions or needs for special help along the way. I look forward to this great adventure. Sincerely, Ron Searle Founder and General Manager Arivaca Boys Ranch

Contact Information

Arbinger Tele-Conference Course The ranch requires that parents participate in a 6 week Arbinger course by telephone. The class will take place Wednesday evenings from at 7 pm Mountain time and are 1 ½ hr long. The class will run one evening a week for an hour and a half. The day and time will be emailed to you as soon as the details are set. Please arrange your schedule to be able to participate. These classes are the key to our philosophy and what your son is learning. It will be very important material for you to understand in dealing with your son in the future. We are excited to share it with you. This class is an essential foundation to what we are doing with your son. Please make every effort to participate. Your personal commitment to this material will change your relationships with not only your son, but everyone in your life. Please order your Anatomy Of Peace 2nd Edition from Amazon books. The 2nd Edition is very important and will be the primary tool we use. It is available for approximately $8. “You may be asked to order some additional materials, but you will be specifically instructed at that time to do so. When the classes are going to start, we will send you an email letting you know the dates and times. We hope you will take a moment to review the handouts attached in the emails and we encourage you to read the Arbinger books, “The Anatomy of Peace” and/or “Leadership and Self Deception” as soon as possible. Remember, your son is exposed to Arbinger each day by each staff person, so understanding the way of being he is practicing will benefit your relationship.

Arivaca Mission Statement We are here to help young men discover their greatness and potential. We help young men develop the tools to cope with life challenges, to learn to set and achieve goals, and to build productive relationships with family and peers.

Parent Weekend It is recommended that for each visit you have to the Ranch, if airline tickets are needed, you purchase “refundable” tickets. This is said to ensure you can reclaim your money should it be deemed not in the best interest at that time to have a visit for therapeutic reasons. The first time you will see your boy after you drop him off initially will be parent weekend. These have been incredible days. They occur monthly and you will be invited after the 3 month mark of your boy’s stay at Arivaca. The weekend will begin Friday morning at 8:30 am with a breakfast for parents, students and therapists. Friday will involve an Arbinger Lecture, Equine Demonstration, a horse ride and quiet time with your son during lunch (with support staff) and dinner (with support staff), ending at 6:30 pm. Saturday you will arrive at 9 am and spend relaxing and purposeful time with your son, with activities provided by our Parent Liasion. You will have lunch with your son and take time to practice staying at the lower levels of the parent pyramid in Arbinger, the relationship levels. Our Ranch house is available for you to relax in. Meals will be available from our kitchen. The visiting weekend will end at 5 pm Saturday . It is important to leave promptly at 5 in order for the Ranch and your son to continue its regular schedule. * Should you have specific dietary needs please make sure to let the therapist or Liaison know. Saturday Visitation Guidelines: On Saturday families are welcome to join their sons at the Ranch for some less structured time or to take their Point Leader sons on a limited off campus pass until 5pm. In support of family focus and engagement, Point Leaders are allowed to tour the area around Arivaca including the town itself, surrounding hiking trails and tourist attractions. We ask that Point Leaders do not travel to Amado or further towards Tucson. This is so that boys will have an increased opportunity to spend time with their parents and families and not be tempted to focus on shopping and distracting activities, as well as limiting their ability to acquire items that may negatively impact our Ranch community. These same visitation guidelines apply during subsequent visits. Please know that while visiting hours are 9-5pm, it is sometimes best to leave the Ranch early on a high note, rather than feel obligated to spend an entire day with your son that felt forced in any way.. The purpose is for you all to have a rich and full experience together. If the visit comes to an natural and comfortable end earlier in the day, it is OK. We want you to have the best possible experience you can have. Sometimes a boy’s behavior or attitude makes it necessary for parents to postpone their parent weekend visit. Parent weekend is reserved for parents only. Siblings and other family members are welcome at later visits.

Home Visits During the last 8-10 weeks of a boy’s stay at Arivaca, families will be encouraged to begin home visits. These home visits are a necessary part of our program and should happen regardless of a boy’s level, except where the safety and integrity of the Arivaca community is in question. They are approved and scheduled by the therapists. The director will take care of transportation to the airport and checking the boy back into the ranch upon his return. Boys from out of state will be encouraged to return home for a stay of 4 nights and 5 days. Boys traveling to the east coast may add an additional day for travel. Arivaca will transport to and from the Tucson airport. Boys from local areas can return home for two weekends (2 nights and 3 days) and one 3 night and 4 day stay. Transportation should be provided by families but Arivaca will make every effort assist where we can. Please do not arrange flights from Phoenix as this is very difficult for us to accommodate. Please schedule flights for times between 10AM and 4PM on weekdays. Your son may need his ID and some spending money (boys with long layovers only) for food for his flight. He will not need a cell phone, special clothing from home, or an mp3 player. Please be mindful of your son bringing unnecessary items back to the ranch, items such as electronics, non-Arivaca clothing, cell phones, magazines, drugs, cigarettes, food, etc... During a home visit a boy should not use drugs or alcohol, have sex, view pornography, spend the night away from home, or participate in activities that will detract from the boy’s progress.

Maverick Home Visit Guidelines In order to remove any confusion regarding home visits for Maverick status boys, we have the following guidelines in place to give both parents and students clarification. Once your son achieves Maverick status he MUST wait a minimum of 3 weeks before a home visit can be discussed with the Clinical team for approval. Discussion for a home visit will begin after 30 days with your sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s therapist. It is not automatic that a boy will fly home after 30 days. The 3-week waiting period IS NOT automatic approval for a visit. After proposal to the Clinical team by his therapist to confirm it is in your sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best therapeutic interest for the visit, his therapist will invite you, the parents to continue and make a plane reservation. As a gentle reminder, please always make the ticket a refundable ticket as things can happen at the last minute. Once your son has returned from a home visit, the visit will be discussed during a family session and then a summary of the discussion will be shared with the Clinical team (this is always done in the most professional way to share the high and low points of the visit). After this important step is taken, a waiting period of at least 3 to 4 weeks is needed before the 2nd home visit will occur. We require this in order to address and assist with any issues that may have occurred during the first home visit. After the 2nd home visit is completed and discussed with both family and Clinical team, a final ride will be scheduled. This final ride is the last activity your son will do prior to graduation. The graduation will occur post final ride. It is very important to understand that the above is contingent upon your son, his progress and his behavior. A Maverick is expected to have integrity, to be able to follow the same behaviors and way of being at home as he would at the Ranch. Should a boy show that he is unable to sustain Maverick requirements he may be dropped to Point Leader and the advancement process would proceed from that level. We Want to take every consideration as we prepare the entire family for the next step in your sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life.

Visiting the Ranch Parents from out of state may come to the ranch for two days at a time. All visits to the ranch are to be scheduled ahead of time with therapists. It is ideal for families to come Fridays as they can then meet with therapists for family therapy. Sibling Visits Visits are the 2nd and 4th weekend of each month after the initial parent weekend. Families often will have family therapy with their therapist on the Friday of a visit. If a client’s siblings are part of the therapy, the therapist will approve the siblings visiting the Ranch. In the case of very young children please know that there is no child care available and that the visit is intended for you and your son to connect and help your relationship grow. We want to support that and give you an opportunity to focus on your son. The decision to have siblings visit the Ranch will be made by your son’s therapist. ■ Green Horns and Drovers are not allowed to leave ranch property. ■ Point Leaders are allowed off campus during parent visits until 5pm. Point Leaders are allowed to tour the area around Arivaca, eating in town, hiking, scenic drives etc. ■ Mavericks are allowed off campus until 5pm and can travel to Tucson and surrounding areas. Parents and boys should sign an off-campus agreement and abide by the guidelines therein (sign-in sheet and instructions for visit are located in the Ranch House). This is a time to build family relationships, develop communication skills and set goals in relationships; therefore, activities should be designed to promote these goals, i.e. no movies, shopping, etc. Any gifts for the boys are to be given first to the Parent Liaison or Supervisor who will then decide if the gift is appropriate for the boy while he is at the ranch. Any food brought to the Ranch should include enough for every boy here. This alleviates competition and reinforces that all are treated alike. Boys appreciate being thought of by other families.

Beginning to communicate with your son Communicating with your son is an important part of the therapeutic process. Through letters, you have the opportunity to share and begin to resolve difficult issues that were impossible to confront at home. A letter gives the time to organize thoughts, to say what you really mean, and do so without the emotion generated in a face-to-face or phone conversation. Receiving your child’s letters Puttingtheirthoughtsinwritingoffersyoursonthesameadvantages;however,studentsaretypicallyreactivein their first letters. If you receive a reactive letter it is OK.This is a normal and predictable phase of the therapeutic process.Onlyashorttimeago,yourchildwasinchargeandlivinglifeaccordingtotheirownrules.Nowtheyfind themselves waking up in a strange place within the structure of our treatment program and staff. There are several common types of letters parents can expect to receive from their son: ■Angryletter:Theshockofthisabruptchangeistypicallyexpressedtoparentsintheirfirstfewletters.The“angry letter”isfilledwithhate,reproachfulcommentsaboutyourparentingskillsandpersonality,aswellasalistofpeople who are to blame for their current circumstances. ■Thisisaterribleplaceletter:Thisletterisfullofself-pityandtypicallyexaggerateshowbadtheirpresentsituation is.Thisletterwillexpresshopelessnessandvictimizationandwillmakeadesperatepleaforyoutorescuethem, perhaps take them home. ■The Forgiveness / Bargaining letter: In this type of letter, your son offers a heartfelt plea for forgiveness and absolutionfromtheirtransgressions.Theywillsharespontaneousinsightsabouttheirwrongdoingsandofferto makeeverythingbetterifonlygivenanotherchance.Aheartfeltpleatoberescuedfromtheprogramwillgenerally conclude the letter. Parent Reactions Theseletterscanbeextremelydifficultforparentstoread.Basicparentinginstinctistoprotectachildfromadversity.Itisnevereasytohearyoursonexpressanylevelofsufferingeventhoughyouknowonarationallevelthatyou areactingintheirbestinterest.Agoodanalogyistakingyoursontothedoctor.Noparentlooksforwardtotheir childreceivingapainfulshotinthearm.Yet,youknowthatwithoutthisshot,yourchildisatgreaterriskinlaterlife. ThissamerationaleappliestoyourdecisiontosendyoursontoArivacaBoysRanch.Yourson’srecentdecisions wereleadingthemdownadangerouspathwithlong-termnaturalandlogicalconsequences.Insomecases,some of these consequences may have been irreversible and possibly lethal. Yourresponsetoyourson’sreactivelettersisimportantinsettingapositivetoneforchangeandresolution.Fortunately,yourson’splacementatArivacaBoysRanchoffersanopportunitytodisengagefromtiringpowerstruggles andunhealthyinteractionsandallowsyoutofocusonbeinganempoweredparentwhoisactinginthebestinterest of your son. Theissuesthatfacemostfamiliesoftenarecomplexandhighlysensitive.Yourtherapistcangiveguidanceand supportinyourcommunications.Workinghandandhandwithyourtherapistwillincreasethelikelihoodofyour message being heard and will speed up your family’s healing process. 12

Communication Policy Duringthefirsttwomonths,allcommunicationwillbedonebyletter(E-mail). Studentswillbegivenletterson Fridays.TheywillbeallowedtorespondonSundays.Allcorrespondencegoesthroughthestafftodetermineit isdirectedtotheappropriaterecipients.Youngmenwillnotbeallowedtocommunicatewithanyoneotherthan parents.Atthedirectionofthetherapist–consultingwithparents,theremaybeoccasionswhensomeother communicationsareacceptable,(i.e.Extendedfamily,ecclesiasticalleaders,etc..)Atabout5-6weeksyou,your son and your son’s therapist will begin family therapy via phone. DuringthethirdmonthandaftertheeducationalParentWeekend,atthediscretionandthedirectionofthetherapist(consultingwithparents),Sundayphonecallsmaybearranged.Callswillbelimitedto30minutesunless arrangementshavebeenmadeotherwise.Phonecallsonspecialoccasions,birthdays,andholidaysmayalsobe arranged if approved by the therapist. Parents and boys are encouraged to write letters immediately upon admission to Arivaca. Email your son at mail@arivacaboysranch.com.Thisisaconfidentialemailaddressintendedforcommunicationbetweenboys andtheirparents.Pleasedonotgiveoutthisemailaddress--eventootherfamilymembers.Wewillonlydeliver mailthatcomesfromtheemailaccountofaparentofaboyintheprogram.Haveemailsfromothersforwarded throughyouraccount.Allcommunicationfromaboywillbesenttohisparentsemailaddress.Itistheparent’s responsibility to deliver (or choose not to deliver) the mail to its intended recipients. Parent’s email for their son will be printed off on Friday and given to their son. Be sure to send your emails by Thursdaynighttoensuredelivery.TheboysaregiventimeonTuesdaytowriteemails.Theseemailsareforwarded toparentsTuesdayorWednesdaymorning.Ifyouareunabletosendaletterontimeyouarewelcometocontact RonSearle(ron@arivacaboysranch.com)orJacquieLesure(jacquie@arivacaboysranch.com)aboutalatedelivery.Whenemailingyourboypleasecopyyourtherapistintheemail.Allofyourboy’soutgoingemailswillautomaticallybeemailedtoyourtherapist.Therestrictionsonourcomputersdonotallowtheboystoviewpicturesor videos attached to an email. These should be sent in a letter. Ifyoureadanythingalarminginanemailfeelfreetocontactyourtherapistorthedirector.ItisthepolicyofArivacaBoysRanchthatboyscommunicatewithmainfamilymembersonly.Exceptionstothisrulemustbetherapeutically beneficial and approved by the family’s therapist. WhenyoubeginyourvisitswithyoursonattheRanch,pleaseknowthatanyandallphonecallsandFace-Times MUSTbeapprovedbyyourtherapistpriortomakingthecall. It’ssuggestedthatafamilynotassumethatbecausethetherapistapprovedonephonecalloneweekend,theapprovalisconstantandgoodfortherestofthe visits. It’s best to always check with the therapist first if phone calls can be made.

Packages and Letters Because of our remote location mailing a package or letter requires special attention. You must match the correct address to the correct carrier. Incorrectly addressed mail may be returned (or lost) by the post office. Please send packages to Robert Van Reenen, not directly to the ranch. We prefer to receive packages through the United States Post Service. Please always remember to write your son’s name on the package. Sent via Post Office MUST use this address for Amazon purchases. Boys Name Arivaca Boys Ranch 17245 W 5th St #547 Arivaca, AZ 85601

Books Personal Fan Electric Razor Board or Card Games Watch Musical Instruments

Sent Via UPS and FedEx Boys Name Arivaca Boys Ranch 17245 W 5th St #547 Arivaca, AZ 85601

Gift Ideas for Birthdays and Holidays Western Belt or Buckle Craft Items Boot Care Products Cowboy Hat Small toys or puzzles: hacky sack, Rubik’s cube, yo-yo etc.

Horse Tack Sports items Snacks to share Movies for Ranch (PG 13 ) Hygiene Items Horse Snacks

Larger items such as guitars, board games, and sports equipment are considered ranch donations and are made available to all the boys. Arivaca Boys Ranch is not responsible in any way for items large or small sent to the ranch. Items may be lost, damaged, or destroyed. Do not send expensive or irreplaceable items. Prohibited Items: Electronics, Cameras, Chewing Gum, Sunflower Seeds, Magazines and Music. When sending a snack please include enough to share with all the boys at the ranch. All food items are given to the kitchen and distributed at the discretion of the chef. A safe number to plan for is 30 boys. You may send special hygiene products if your son has special hygiene needs. General hygiene products are made available to the boys for purchase in the ranch mercantile. If your boy needs a certain type of hygiene product we will label it and reserve it for him to purchase in the mercantile. Do’s and Don’ts That Will Be Helpful Please do not send magazines Please do not send cash or checks to your son Please check any skateboards for appropriate non sexual stickers Please do not send socks or t-shirts that advertise marijuana or alcohol.

Phone Calls

Phone Calls: After the 3 month initial period of treatment, completion of Parent Weekend and the approval of your sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s therapist, weekly phone calls may begin on Sundays. These are 30 minute monitored phone calls. They are monitored by our trained staff for therapeutic purposes and not to invade privacy. If there is a special circumstance where a phone call is necessary, your therapist will orchestrate that occurring. If there was an emergency, you would contact your therapist or our Clinical Director Debra Milner.

Pet Policy We here at the Ranch understand what an important part of the family a pet is. It is often requested by parents to have the pet brought to the Ranch for a visit. We respectfully ask you to not bring your pets with you for important reasons. Your visits with your son are meant to build on and improve your relationship with each other. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen that a pet can be a diversion or distraction from this occurring. This is also a working horse ranch with mechanical equipment being used, horses running loose and a number of cars traveling through the property. We would never want anything to interrupt the important time you have with your son, so please leave your fur babies at home for the weekend. Thank you.

Our Daily Schedule Explained

Please refer to the above example of a boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daily schedule. You may use it to see how your son is spending his day here. This is the typical example of the schedule a boy receives each morning at Round Up and it outlines the activities they will participate in and the order these activities are in and the order the boy will participate. This schedule is intended to be read from the bottom up. For example, if a boy is in the East Bunk, which is the bunk in yellow on the bottom of the schedule, he will first participate in an Arbinger class in the Rec Room from 9-10 am.

Our Daily Schedule Explained Arbingerisourbasicprincipalofcommunicationandteachingstudentshowtointeractwithpeers,staffandfamily. We have weekly Arbinger classes on top of the daily practice of this with Wranglers and Therapists. Parents will also participate in a phone conference Arbinger class. If you read down the middle of the schedule for East bunk, you will see that the next activity is Ranch Projects which on this day includes cleaning up after the boy’s horse and keeping the Ranch clean and neat by picking up trash. It can also include cutting grass or fixing fences as this is a working horse ranch. Boys learn how to weld, how to build and how to repair many items around the Ranch. This is a wonderful opportunity for a boy to gain a sense of esteem and accomplishment. On Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at 11 am each Bunk as a unit participates in Group Therapy with their bunk therapist. The reason we do group therapy by bunk is that we view each bunk as a family, a family that may have conflicts, concerns, worries or any variety of things going on. The bunk is a major source of support for each other during treatment at the Ranch. This is a microcosm of how to deal with and address issues that may occur in family, at work or in school later in life. It is an important tool, an opportunity to use Arbinger and part of the day. The boys form very close and cohesive relationships in these groups and learn to support and help one another. Lunch is at noon and as you may be able to see the order for lunch each day is the order from breakfast. This changes each day so each bunk has an opportunity to eat first and also clean up after meals. From 1-3pm you can see that East Bunk (in yellow) participates in Equine. Here, the boys will work with their horses or colts and practice games, training and most important, put their Arbinger skills of communication into practice with their own horse. It is miraculous how a boy’s struggles may translate to the struggles they may have with their horse. This is a huge growth block of the day for each boy. You are encouraged to view the boys Advancement Binder for a clear understanding of what is needed to advance to each level of Equine.The Advancement Binder will be included for you with the Enrollment Packet and the Parent Manual. TheEastbunkwill nextgotoschoolfrom3-5pmand continue with their on-line Sequoia school program where our teacher and tutor will help them advance through their classwork. The school is staffed with well trained and well versed educators. At 5 pm the boys are responsible for feeding and watering their horses prior to getting their own dinner. Dinner is from 5-6pm. After dinner the day begins to wind down and the boys are given the opportunity to choose from a variety of Recreational Activities. These activities are not organized by bunks and allow for boys from all bunks to interact with each other and form relationships with others. Many boys choose to do outside activities such as sports, weights or ball games. Other activities are group board games, PG-13 TV series or perhaps a movie. As you can see, at 8pm we do ‘Trail Time’ which is another Arbinger activity. This offers each boy to review his day, see where he struggled and review his approach to handling it and resolving it with his bunk mates and his Wranglers. The weekends here at the Ranch are structured a bit differently than a week day. There is no school on Saturday, however, the boys are still responsible for their horses, working with their horses and taking care of them. Boys also participate in Ranch Projects as this is a working horse ranch. It’s important for you to know that the boys are rewarded for their participation in Ranch Projects and are paid with,“ Ranch Bucks”. Ranch Bunks are used by the boys to purchase treats on Saturday Nights, to purchase items brought by parents that are not essential for daily living and to purchase extra clothing they may want. The system of Ranch Bunks helps teach a boy about work ethic and salary, money management, prioritizing and of course, the reward of hard work and positive pay off. Please know that if there were a much needed or necessary item a boy needed we would make it available for him and not an item for purchase with Ranch Bunks. 17

Sequoia On-Line School Arivaca Boys Ranch Academy partners with Sequoia Choice Arizona Distance Learning to provide middle and high school curricula that fit the unique needs of our students. Students will be enrolled in the school and registered in the appropriate courses once the necessary records have been received (Request for Educational Records form, birth certificate, immunization record, transcripts). Students will work on core subjects (English, math, science, social studies) in the school building on weekdays for 2 hours per day and work on 6 elective courses (Equine, Moral Foundations, Ranch Construction, Woodworking, Welding, and PE) while they are participating in the remaining aspects of treatment during other parts of the schedule. Students work on their courses at their own pace as our school staff provide one-on-one support and tutoring to help each student work to their potential. Progress is monitored weekly by assigning and tracking assignment completion as well as by tracking students' course completion percentages and overall grades on completed work. Students who complete 80% or more of their assignments each month earn a place in the "Nerd Herd" and an invitation to join in the monthly Nerd Herd special activity. Most students start their coursework at the ranch slowly as they look for alternative ways out of the program, vent frustration or anger at being sent to treatment, and accept the reality of the workload they must complete in order to return home with a balanced psycho/emotional state and responsive relational way of being. Contact Person: Scott Stead, M.A. Director, Academics ssteed@arivacaboysranch.com Phone:801-888-8354 Direct: (520) 833-7781 Fax: (520) 458-4492

Suggested Reading Material The Arbinger Institute: Leadership and Self -Deception (A personal account of Arbinger), 1st Edition please The Anatomy of Peace - (How to use Arbinger) Heather Forbes: Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Vol. 2 Edward Hallowell: Driven to Distraction (deals with Attention Deficit Disorder) David Sheff: Beautiful Boy (A father’s journey through his son’s substance abuse) Brene Brown: Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead- (Parenting skills) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerble Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Please take the time to view Heather Forbes You Tube or Ted Talk Videos on treating trauma. They are extremely helpful and informative. We’ve also recommended her books above. The more reading you can do the more helpful it will be for your son.

Transportation Policy Boys will occasionally need medical appointments in Green Valley or Tucson, or they may need rides to the Airport in Tucson. We arrange for all these appointments and make sure that they have transportation for them, and on occasion there is a fee for transportation to cover gas and maintenance. We will combine appointments to help cover costs of transportations so they are the least expensive. If there is ever a cost for transportation, please know it will be explained by us so that you have a clear understanding of why it is occurring. Again, we would respectfully ask that no flights are scheduled out of Phoenix AZ as that length of transportations is extremely difficult to meet. “ The Arivaca Boys Ranch will facilitate transportation for it’s clients at a cost to the parents. The charges are as follows. The cost is for a round trip appointment. Trip to Arivaca is $15. Trip to Green Valley is $80. Trip to Tucson is $125. We have facilitated trips to Phoenix and north of Phoenix and that charge will be discussed between you and administration. “

Driving Directions Directions from Phoenix/Tucson to Arivaca Ranch ■ Take I-10 south to Tucson ■ Traveling South through Tucson take I-19 South towards Nogales. ■ Travel 35 miles south on I-19 to exit 48 Amado/Arivaca Road Exit ■ From off ramp turn right. Travel 100 yard and turn right at stop sign. ■ Travel 100 yards to turn left on Arivaca Road across from Longhorn Grill. ■ From here you are a half an hour away from the ranch. If you need to call to let us know when you’ll be showing up now is a good time. ■ Go exactly 19.5 miles. Mile marker 2. Turn left on Universal Ranch Road. ■ Follow it East to Restaurant, turn right on “Arivaca Ranch Road”. ■ Follow it (south) two miles to ranch. ■ As you hit the dirt road, stay to left. Down the road you will see the entrance to the ranch. Park by the building with the stone wall. Walk around to your right to find the front door. ■ If you need help with directions call: Ron Searle (480) 216-8982 or Jessica Potrie at (520)-345-7293 Thank you for your trust and understanding.

Psychiatrist Billing & Info Insurance Policy Reminder Psychiatrist and Billing The Arivaca Boys Ranch does not bill your insurance for services. Our psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Remolina, is a 'self-pay' psychiatrist. He does not accept any insurance. Your contact for Dr. Remolina is our Clinical Director, Debra Milner R.N., L.C.S.W and she is listed on the contact list in this document. Please call her with questions regarding the psychiatrist and other medical questions you may have. You must personally submit your "Superbill/invoice" to your insurance company, which you will receive each month. Your insurance company can give your detailed instructions how to do this submission. Arivaca Boys Ranch pays Dr. Remolina for all the boys visits each time he is on site. He is on site one time a month or as needed. Arivaca Boys Ranch will send you a copy of the invoice Dr. Remolina has given us that we have paid for you. You will send your payment for services rendered by Dr. Remolina to the Arivaca Boys Ranch. We do not guarantee your insurance company will reimburse you and we can help you with information regarding reimbursement. Here is an example of what a bill may look like and the fees associated with seeing Dr. Remolina. Full Evaluation: $485 plus travel fee ($25) Each follow up visit ranges from $225-$335 plus travel fees.

Refund Policy IntheeventofaterminationpriortocompletionbyeitherArivacaorthesponsor,thepartiesagreethatthesponsorshallnotbe entitledtoarefundofanyamountspaid,norshalltherebeareductionintheobligationforbasicchargesorotherexpensesdue fromthesponsor.IntheeventtheClientisremovedfromtheprogrampriortothecompletionoftheprogram,thenon-refundability ofpaymentsmadeandthecontinuingobligationtopayanyamountsduebutnotpaid,reflectstherecognitionthatcertaincosts associatedwithmakingtheprogramavailabletotheClientareincurred,whetherornottheprogramiscompleted,includingsuch itemsassalaries,inventories,andothergeneraloperatingexpenses.Anallocationofactualcostsincurredpriortoterminationis difficultorimpossibletodetermine.Accordingly,thepartiesagreethatthepaymentofthebasicchargesandotherexpensesfor thirtydays(30)tuitionareherebyagreedtoconstituteliquidateddamages,andneitherpartyshallhavetherighttoanyadditional compensation or reimbursement in the event of a termination of the Client in an Arivaca program. Intheeventthattuitionispre-paid:Refundswillbemadeonpre-paidtuition,toexcludethetuitionfor30daysaftertermination. The30daystuitionisconsideredcompensationforcostandexpensesincurredasexplainedintheaboveparagraph.Arefundcheck willbedispersedfsdromourofficewithin30daysoftermination.Thelast30daytuitioniscalculatedbytakingthecontracted monthlytuition,determiningthedailyratendsubtractingout30daysoftuitionfromtheremainingpre-paidamount.Thebalanceis refunded.

Arivaca Boys Ranch Program TheArivacaRanchisdesignedtoprovideasettingfreefromthedistractionsofabusylifeathome.AsastudentattheRanchyouwillbeassignedtoa familygroup.Thisgroupwillincludeotherstudents,aWrangler,AcademicLabadvisor,Equineinstructorandyourtherapist.Thepurposeofyourfamily groupsistoprovideanenvironmentofphysical,emotionalandspiritualsafetyandgrowth.Itisalsotoassistyouingettingacquaintedwith the “Arivaca Way.” Equine Whileworkingwithhorsesyouwilllearnaboutyourselfasyoudeveloppatience,communicationskills,leadership,andcourage.Youwillfirstbecome familiarwiththeworldofhorsesandlearntobecomfortablearoundthem.Youwillthenbecomecompetentingrooming,saddling,andlearnbasicriding skills. As you progress, you will be matched with a young horse to train. You will ultimately have the opportunity to participate in equine activities that interest you; roping, endurance racing, trail riding, or a variety of other equine sports. Academics YouwillbeenrolledinSequoiaChoiceDistanceLearningProgram.Itisafullyaccreditedonlinehighschoolandalltheworkyouaccomplishwilltransfer with you where ever you attend after the Ranch. Thefirstweekwillbeanassessmentandorientation.Uponcompletionyouwillreviewyourfuturegoalswiththelabadvisor.Youwillthenbereadyto startclass.Therewillbeduedatestoallyourwork.Keepinmindthatthemoreyouadvanceinyourstudies,thefasterthiswillaccelerateyourprogram. Take advantage to get ahead! ThemissionofSequoiaChoiceistodeliverhighquality,educationalopportunitiestostudents,helpingthemdevelopthecompetencies,character,and confidence needed to fulfill their individual goals and meet the challenges of a changing world. Therapy Therapy consists of 4 Elements 1. Individual Counseling Youwillreceiveonesessionaweekwithalicensedprofessionaltherapist.Thistherapistwillbetrainedtoincorporatethedailyexperiencesofthe programintoyourlife.HewillhelpyoumaketheconnectionbetweenreallifeprinciplesandtheprincipleslearnedintheEquineprogram. 2. Group Therapy Eachweekyouwilljoinwithyour“family”groupforasessionledbyalicensedcounselor.Thisprovidesachancetodevelopcommunicationskills, cooperation, relationships, empathy and understanding, develop anger management skills, etc. 3. Arbinger Training and Family Groups Everyeveningincludesa“trailtime”toreviewtheeventsoftheday,writeinajournal,andresolveanyconflictswithinthegroup.Thistimeisleadbya Wrangler. Each Wrangler has been trained in Arbinger Principles and in their application in the field (life). 4. Equine Program Therearemanywaysinwhichhorsesareusedtohelppeople,fromhandicappedchildrentohardenedcriminals.OurEquineProgramismuchmorethan a“pettingzoo.”Althoughthereisvalueincaringforanotherlivingcreature,ourprogramisbasedonapersonalworkingrelationshipbetweenayoung manandhisownhorse,andyouwillbeassignedayounghorsethatonlyyouwillworkwith.Becauseofahorse’sinstincttosurviveandinteractsocially, he is very sensitive to his environment and he will become a mirror of your emotions and feelings. Throughexercisesinnaturalhorsemanship,youmustlearntocommunicateonthehorse’slevelanddevelopatrustingrelationshipinwhichyoucanlead thehorsewithoutforceorcoercion.Throughthisprocess,youwilllearnmoreaboutyourselfandyourpersonalrelationshipswithothersthanyouwill about horsemanship. Signing the Treatment Plan Since you completed the on line application you should be familiar with Best Notes. Please go to Best Notes and the icon of a person holding a pencil. Click on this icon. This will give you your personal pin number. We will need you to review the therapist’s treatment plan for you son and sign it with a digital signature. Ifyourtherapistupdatesorchangesyourson’streatmentplanyouwillbeaskedtopleasereviewandsignthenewtreatmentplan.

Arivaca Boys Ranch Program Arbinger Overview AteamofScholarsassociatedwiththeArbingerInstitutehasmadeadiscoverythatsolvesanageoldprobleminthehumansciences-aproblemknownas“selfdeception.”Asimplisticyethelpfulwaytoputtheselfdeceptionproblemisthis:itistheproblemofnot knowing, and resisting the possibility, that one has a problem. Thepersonalandorganizationalimplicationsofself-deceptionareimmense.Forhowisimprovementpossiblewhenthosemostinneed of improvement don’t feel the need to improve? Thiscourseintroducesideasthattogetherexplainandsolvetheself-deceptionproblem.Instudyingthismaterial,youwilllearnwhat self deception is, what its impact is on oneself and others and what to do about it. Youwilldiscoveraswellthatmanyoftheproblemsthatafflictourlives,whetherinourorganizationsorinourfamilies,arenot separateproblemsatallbutaremerelysymptomsofthedeeperproblemofself-deception.Everyreductionofself-deceptionimproves teamworkandcommunicationandincreasesaccountability,trust,commitmentandmotivation.Thepowerofourinfluencesonothers andthelevelofoursatisfactionwithourselvesdependonthedegreetowhichwecanovercometheproblemofself-deception. Exploringthismaterialissomethingofapersonaljourney.Itisajourneynoonecanorshouldbeforcedtotake.Wedo,however,invite youtotrytheseideason,asitwere,inordertoseehowtheymightsuityou.Asyouexperimentwiththem,youwillbeabletodecide foryourselftheextenttowhichyoufindthemhelpfulandthedegreetowhichyouwishtoapplythemtoyourownsituations. General Rules and Expectations Follow The Schedule Theeasiestwaytocompletethisprogramandreturnhomeisassimpleasfollowingtheschedule.Thisprogramisdesignedtohelp youngmendevelopintomenofintegrity,completetherequirementsnecessaryforgraduation,andreturnhomeiftheywilljusttake littlestepseachdayaspresentedintheschedule.AsRDoftensays,“followthescheduleandmagicalthingswillhappen!” Bunk House/Personal Grooming OnestandardattheRanchiscleanliness.Bunkroomsaretobekeptclean.Youwillhavelaundryandtoiletrybinstohelpyoustay organized.Clothesshouldbekeptfoldedandbedsmadeeachmorning.OthercleaningassignmentswillbegivenbytheWranglers.Your uniformwillconsistofjeans,anArivacaRancht-shirt,hatandboots.Youarerequiredtobathedailyandshaveweekly. Kitchen UnlessdirectedbytheKitchenStaff,studentsarenotallowedinthekitchen,beyondtheservingarea.Youwillassistinmealclean up.Alldishesmustputinthewashbin.Thediningareawillbecleanedbyabunkaftereachmeal.Theeveningcleaningbunkwilldeep clean, including mopping. Garbage must be emptied daily. That includes garbage’s outside the kitchen. Classroom YouwillbeassignedaLabAdvisor.Hewillbeyourguideinallaspectsofyouracademics.Thecomputersaretobeusedonlyinclass andforletters.AnyotherusemustbeauthorizedbytheAdministration.Pleaseuselowvoicestomaintainanacademicatmosphere. Feetonfurnitureorleaningbackinchairsarenotpermitted.Thislabisforyourlearningsopleasemaintainhighstandardsofcare whenworkingwiththeequipment.Ifyouneedassistance,pleaseraiseyourhandandthelabadvisorwillassistyou.Dresscodeis enforce in the chool.

Arivaca Boys Ranch Program Classroom YouwillbeassignedaLabAdvisor.Hewillbeyourguideinallaspectsofyouracademics.Thecomputersaretobeusedonlyinclassand forletters.AnyotherusemustbeauthorizedbytheAdministration.Pleaseuselowvoicestomaintainanacademicatmosphere.Feeton furnitureorleaningbackinchairsarenotpermitted.Thislabisforyourlearningsopleasemaintainhighstandardsofcarewhenworking withtheequipment.Ifyouneedassistance,pleaseraiseyourhandandthelabadvisorwillassistyou.Dresscodeisenforceinthechool. Go To Bunk Ifbychanceyoudonotfollowthescheduleandarenotintheassignedarea,youaretogotothe“GoToBunk.”Thisistheholdingarea forthosenotparticipating.Studentsareallowedtoreadinthe“gotobunk.”Thereistobenoplayingcards,music,guitars,orplaying games. Remember that each hour or day spent in the “go to bunk”, adds to your total stay at the ranch. Staying in Groups and With Wrangler Thestaffoftheranchisrequiredtoknowofyourwhereaboutsatalltimes.(StateLaws)Itisimportantthatweknowwhereyouareand whatyouaredoingforbothyoursafety,thesafetyofothers,andtheintegrityoftheranch.Pleasehelpuskeepthefollowingguidelines: Staffmembersandayoungmenmustbeinminimumgroupsofthree.Staffisnottobealonewithaboy,norareboysallowedtobealone in pairs. This is for everyone’s safety. Greenhorns,Drovers,andPointLeadersmuststayintheirgroupatalltimeswiththeirwrangler.Ifamemberofthegrouphastogo somewhere,theyshouldbeaccompaniedbytheothermembersofthegroup,orthewranglerneedstoradiotheirpositionandtheyneed tobeinviewofotherstaff.Anymemberofthegroupthat“wandersoff”willbedeniedadvancement.AWranglermustbeabletosee each boy in the group. Mavericks may leave the group as directed by the wrangler. Staff needs to know of their whereabouts. TrailBossesmaybealoneasappropriateandmayoverseeotherstudentsingroupsforspecialassignmentsandworkprojects. Feeding Everyonewillbeassignedaspecifichorse(s)tofeed.Thisincludesfeedingtheirhorsebothmorningandnight,rakingthestalleachday, andmakingsurethereisfreshwaterforeachhorse.Theseresponsibilitiescannotbetradedorre-assignedwithoutpermissionofthe equine manager or director. Work Projects OntheRanchthereisalotofworktodo.Thisisaveryimportantelementofourprogram.EveryworkprojecthasapurposeontheRanch. Alongwithaschool,thereare225acresofimmediatepropertythatmustbemaintainedconstantly.YouwillbepartoftheLegacythatis theArivacaRanch,soremembereverythingyoudoaddstothishistoricalranch.Pleaseshowrespecttotheproperty,asitishistorical. Ranch Bucks Ranchbucksareearnedbyparticipatinginranchprojects,morningchores,andotherpossibleworkactivities.Ranchbucksareusedto purchasesnacksatthemercduringappropriatetimes,topurchaseclothing,personalproducts,andotheritemsasavailable.

Arivaca Boys Ranch Program Journal Pages Youareaskedtokeepajournalofeachday’sactivities.Thereispowerinwritingyourthoughtsandfeelings.Inyourfirstweeksyouwill begivenspecificquestionstorespondtoeachday.Thiswillhelpyouevaluateyourprogressandunderstandhowyouarefeeling.Youare encouragedtoshareyourjournalpageswithyourtherapist.Hewilluseitasatooltoevaluateyourprogress.Withtime,youwillbefree touseyourjournalasyouwouldlike.Writinginajournalisexpectedandwillbetakenintoconsiderationasyouprogressbetweenlevels. Cowboy Church YourprogressatArivacaBoysRanchhasaspiritualaspecttoit.Youwillfindthatrealgrowthandpersonaldevelopmentinvolvesspiritual power.Wedonotdefineyourspiritualnaturebutencourageyoutodiscoverit.CowboyChurchisanon-denominationalserviceheldfor onehoureachSunday.Weaskeachofyoutoparticipatebyattendingandbeingrespectfulofothersbeliefs.Noparticularbeliefsystem isespousedasright,butwebelievewecanlearnsomethingfromeveryone.(CowboyChurchispatternedaftertheBoyScoutsofAmerica Church Services.) Recreational Time Eachweekyouwillbegivenanopportunitytoparticipateinvariousrecreationalactivities.Theseactivitiesrangefromsportstohandson craftingprojects.Youareexpectedtoparticipate,berespectfulofothers,tofollowthedirectionsoftheWranglers,andtodemonstrate a good attitude. Trading and Bargaining Theranchbucksystemisdevelopedtohelpyoungmenlearnimportantlifelessons.“BeatingtheSystem”bytradingwitheachother,or making deals is counterproductive to what we are hoping to accomplish. Pleasedonottraderanchbucks,itemsfrommercantile,orbargainwithchoresandfeedingassignments.Anyonewhotradeswithbe fined 50 ranch bucks and lose one week of merc privileges. Dress Code Yourappearancecontributestocreatinggoodfirstimpressions.Lookgood,feelgood.Studentsaretohaveuniformitemsonatalltimes. Uniform consists of the authorizes T-Shirt, approved pants, and hat. Boysmaywearshortsduringrecreationtime,onSunday’s,andinbunkhouse.OnlyDirectormayapprovechangeinapparel.(Example:Off ground activities. ) Studentsaretopracticegoodhygiene.Wranglersaretoexpressandencouragegoodhygienehabitstopromotegoodhealthand appearance. Any piercing, tattooing, or marking of the body results in drop of level status.

Arivaca Boys Ranch Program Destruction of Property: Anytimeaboybreaksadoor,window,pieceoffurniture,pieceofabuildingorstructure,etc.outofangerorfrustrationthefollowingwillbe the result: (at a minimum) Payfortheitemwithranchbucks.½thecost.(Thisamountisdeductedfromhisabilitytopurchaseinthemercantile.)Hewillalsobe assigned community service hours to pay the other ½ of the item cost. Pay rate is $8 an hour. There will be no advancement until the infraction is resolved satisfactorily. There may be level demotion. Disrespect to Wranglers and Staff (including night staff ): Anytimeaboyusesthe“f”wordorotherderogatorylanguagewithastaffmember,therewillbenoadvancementandapossible500word essay to be complete during rec time. The wranglers will decide when advancement may be considered again. Disrespect for Women: Anytimeayoungmanusesderogatorylanguage,catcalls,orsexualinnuendoreferringtoordirectedtowardsawomen,beitawrangler,night staff,orsomeoneduringafieldtrip,etc.,therewillbenoadvancementandapossible500wordessaytobecompleteduringrectime.The wranglers will decide when advancement may be considered again. Substance Misuse Misuseofprescriptionmedicineortheuseofillegaldrugs,tobacco,oralcoholinanyformwillresultinimmediatedropofalevelandinability toadvanceinlevelsuntilapprovedbytheadministrativecommitteeasaminimumandpossiblereflectiontimewithassignedessays.Experimentingwithotherformsofingestionorinhalantsareincluded.Arrestandadmittanceintoanotherprogrammaybeconsidered. Probation or loss of status TheAdvancementCommitteemayplaceastudentonprobationiftheyfeelthestudentisn’tmakinganhonestefforttomaintainthestandards expectedfortheirparticularstatus.Theyoungmanmaylosesomeoralloftheirprivilegesuntiltheyaretakenoffprobation. Re-consideration for advancement Whenayoungmanhasbeendemotedinlevelstatus,hemayre-applytotheadvancementcommitteewithinoneweekbyfillingoutthespecial re-advancement application.