Crank Calls

Here are some more crank calls - those funny telephone calls that are designed to wind people up. Have fun listening to these two. (answers on page 50)

Crank Call I - Little Dogs

For this call we phoned someone who had a classified offering some puppies. Listen to the conversation and answer this question: Why doesn’t the victim want to give the puppies to us?

Victim: Hello? Hot: Oh, hi, I was phoning up about the ad in the local paper - you have some puppies who are looking for a home. Victim: Oh yeah, that’s right. We’ve got three left. Hot: Oh perfect, I’ll take them all. Victim: Erm… what? You, you have a big home do you? Hot: Erm, no actually I work for a circus. Victim: A circus! Hot: Yes, we need some dogs to perform in a dance routine. Victim: Dance, dance routine? What dance routine? Hot: Oh it’s great. We train the dogs to jump through burning hoops, and to dance. Victim: To dance? That’s cruel, man. I can’t agree with that. Hot: They get well fed. And they all get their own cage. Victim: No, man. That’s not the sort of home I wanted for them. Hot: Right. I don’t suppose you have any other animals you’d like to get rid of, do you? Victim: No, sorry. Goodbye. Hot: Oh, right, bye.

Crank Call II - The Police

For this call we phoned someone to ask about some recent acts of vandalism. Listen to the conversation and answer this question: What acts of vandalism do we accuse the woman of?

Victim: Hello? Hot: Oh, hi, this is the Chelmsford police station. I’d like to speak to Mrs Jones, please. Victim: Speaking. Hot: Well, I’m sorry to bother you, Mrs Jones, but we’re investigating a series of acts of vandalism in the park. Victim: Yes. Hot: We were wondering whether you knew anything about it. Victim: Vandalism? No, nothing. Hot: Are you sure, madam? Is there anything that you’d like to tell us? Victim: No, I’m quite sure. Hot: It’s just that someone matching your description was seen throwing stones at the ducks. Victim: Ducks? In the park? I don’t even go to the park. Hot: Mmm… that’s what they all say. Victim: What? Hot: Look, we can all get a bit over-emotional at times. Victim: I never did anything like that. Who are you? Hot: I am a police officer, madam. Please address me in a more respectful tone of voice. Victim: But you just accused me of something I didn’t do. Hot: Well, that’s my job, isn’t it? Victim: No it is not. I don’t pay my taxes… Hot: … I’m sorry, but your time is up. I have other more important matters to deal with. Bye.

G L O S S A R Y

to wind someone up phr vb to irritate someone and make them angry a classified n a small piece of publicity in a newspaper offering a service or selling something a puppy n a baby dog an ad n an advertisement; a piece of publicity on television, radio, etc a local paper n a newspaper that is sold or distributed in the town, village or district you are referring to three left exp “three remaining” to perform vb to act a dance routine n a dance that is carefully prepared a burning hoop n a circle with fire on it. Animals jump through this in circuses they get well fed exp they receive a lot of food a cage n a little “room” with metal bars to stop the animal from escaping to get rid of exp to throw away an act of vandalism exp an act of destruction in a public place speaking exp this is like saying, “yes, that’s correct”. It is used on the phone when someone asks to confirm your name to bother vb to irritate, to disturb to match a description exp to be the same as a description to get a bit over-emotional exp to become a bit excited to address vb to formally speak to taxes n money you pay the government to finance services such as the police, education, etc your time is up exp “there is no more time for me to talk to you” matters n things to deal with exp to find a solution to a problem

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