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contents ESSAY:

A long, ugly story

by Joel Dyer

10

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ESSAY:

The hidden path

by Angela K. Evans

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The bikini

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ESSAY:

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ESSAY:

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by Michael J. Casey

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ESSAY:

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departments 5 THE HIGHROAD: Breakfast and beer 6 THE ANDERSON FILES: Starting at the grassroots 6 LETTERS: Signed, sealed, delivered, your views 21 OVERTONES: Greensky Bluegrass embraces the ‘m-word’ on their new album 25 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do and where to go 30 NEW YEAR’S EVE: A special listing of events for Sunday, Dec. 31 37 WORDS: Poetry by Dash Codiga 35 THE TASTING MENU: Four courses to try in and around Boulder County 37 NIBBLES: A 2017 roll call of the Boulder County eateries new, coming and gone 43 DRINK: Profiles in brew: White Labs Pure Yeast & Fermentation 49 WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: Immigrants: your social media can be used against you, Part II 51 CANNABIS CORNER: Stuff about cannabis 52 ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny 53 SAVAGE LOVE: Quickies Boulder Weekly

December 28 , 2017 3

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Saturday, 12/09/2017 Pag.D01 © 2017 Daily Camera and Prairie Mountain Publishing, LLC. .Please read our Privacy Policy and User Agreement. Please re language here. 12/9/2017

staff

commentary

Publisher, Stewart Sallo Associate Publisher, Fran Zankowski Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Editor, Joel Dyer Managing Editor, Matt Cortina Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Arts and Culture Editor, Caitlin Rockett Special Editions Editor, Emma Murray Contributing Writers: Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, John Lehndorff, Amanda Moutinho, Carolyn Oxley, Brian Palmer, Noël Phillips, Mollie Putzig, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Mariah Taylor, Gregory Thorson, Christi Turner, Betsy Welch, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner Interns, Sarah Farley, Eliza Radeka, Sydney Worth, SALES AND MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Marketing Manager, Devin Edgley Advertising Coordinator, Olivia Rolf Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 18-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo

December 28, 2017 Volume XXV, Number 21 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday.

No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2017 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com.

Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel.

Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

Boulder Weekly

the

Highroad Breakfast and beer

by Jim Hightower

L

et’s talk about two daily essentials: Breakfast and, of course, beer.

Mass marketers of breakfast cereals have been in a downward sales spiral for about a decade, so they’re pitching their products as health food, hoping to woo millennials who want cereals with natural ingredients and no artificial additives. Some brands are seeking goodfor-ya credibility by buying out organic brands such as Kashi, consumed by Kellogg’s. But the shift of this $10-billion market to healthier alternatives is, in fact, an enormous, grassroots victory, driven by the organic movement, public interest groups, fearless nutritionists — and especially by countless moms, dads and kids who simply refused to swallow the industry’s crap.

Now... beer! Last year, Anheuser-Busch InBev mounted a multimillion-dollar coup on America. Not on our coun-

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

try, but on its name. For six months, the beer behemoth expropriated our nation’s name for a tacky advertising campaign, rebranding its Budweiser product “America.” But the PR ploy backfired when a flurry of stinging media stories pointed out that Bud is owned by a Brazilian consortium based in Belgium.

Undeterred by facts, BigBud announced that it has invested beaucoup bucks here to improve its beer quality.

Mostly, though, that enhancement has come from buying out 10 local craft breweries. AB InBev grabbed these independent brew-makers because they represent the real beer of today’s America, rapidly taking customers away from the giant purveyor of bland suds.

Indeed, sales figures tell the tale of Bud’s beer bust: Last year the company sold 14 million barrels of Budweiser in the U.S. — down by a third from its peak sales year.

Meanwhile, craft breweries are gaining market share — production of their good beer was up 12 percent last year to 24 million barrels.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

December 28 , 2017 5

the anderson files Starting at the grassroots

by Dave Anderson

M

any on the Left of the national vote and win some seats approach the coming and steadily build strength in the legisyear with trepidation lature. You can’t do that in America. but also some hope.

Both the Democratic and Republican The Democratic vicparties are coalitions of diverse social tories in November were encouraging forces (which might be separate parties and the election of a Democratic senain a parliamentary system). Most peotor in Alabama this month — first time ple and groups in progressive movein 25 years — was a wonderful surprise. ments (labor, racial minorities, environLongtime grassroots organizer L.A. mentalists, feminists, LGBT folks) use Kauffmann writes that the resistance to the Democratic Party as the electoral Trump is “a truly vehicle to advance unprecedented their agendas. grassroots response, After the 2016 different in both convention, the scale and character Democratic Party from anything created a Unity we’ve seen before.”

Reform Established Commission. A progressive groups few weeks ago, the have experienced commission voted huge increases in for a number of membership and reforms which, if have provided they are impleAS THEY START TO guidance and mented, will TURN THE CLOCK resources. democratize funBACK ON PRETTY However, damental strucKauffmann notes tures and processes MUCH EVERYTHING. that the resistance within the party is unique because it that affect how has sparked “the candidates for creation of an astoundpresident are nomiing number of new grassroots nated. There would be new rules allowgroups, at least six times the number ing same-day voter registration and the Tea Party could boast at its height. same-day change of party affiliation in Locally focused, self-organized, and caucuses. Most significantly, the numoverwhelmingly led by women, these ber of superdelegates would be cut by groups show every sign of digging in 60 percent. The superdelegates, for the long haul.” unbound by voter decisions in primaries This is great but different from and caucuses, are party leaders who can 2016. The movements that were growsupport whomever they wish for presiing and winning victories then — lowdent at the Democratic National wage workers, pipeline blockades, cliConvention. mate justice, immigrant-rights, Black The Reverend Jesse Jackson has Lives Matter — are all on the defensive argued in his national column that the today. Now we are fighting Trump and recent elections in Virginia and the Republicans as they start to turn Alabama show that the South can lead the clock back on pretty much everyAmerica to a “new politics” if the milthing. lions of unregistered African Americans We can move forward again if the and Latinos in the region are inspired to vote.

Democrats end the GOP control of all In Alabama, African Americans — three branches of the federal governparticularly women — voted in record ment as well as many state governments. However, after the bitter conflict large numbers for Doug Jones, the Democratic candidate for the Senate. between Clinton and Sanders in 2016, some Sanders supporters want to aban- Yes, it was a close race and his opponent, Roy Moore, was an alleged child don the Democratic Party and start a molester and a Constitution-defying third party. But we have a rather rigid two-party, winner-take-all electoral sys- theocrat who praised slavery and tem. In a parliamentary system, a small third party can get a small percentage see THE ANDERSON FILES Page 7

NOW WE ARE FIGHTING TRUMP AND THE REPUBLICANS

6 December 28 , 2017

letters On the VA

Regarding Veterans’ Affairs wait-list woes, VA health care scandals are going to happen again and again and again because government ownership of the means of production doesn’t work. And it won’t work regardless of how many rules Congress makes, how many tax dollars are thrown at the VA, which party controls Congress and the White House, or who the Secretary of Veterans Affairs is. It is the reason the Soviet Union collapsed. It is the reason government schools achieve mediocre results. It makes VA health care less than what our military veterans deserve.

To provide the health care our veterans deserve, we must end government ownership of the means of production for their health care. Sell off the VA hospitals, move VA doctors, nurses and other health care professional into private practice, and give veterans cash to purchase their own health care.

Chuck Wright/Westminster

Tax breaks for wealthy should be reduced

The only fair tax is one that somebody else pays.

There is little argument that the federal tax code has become too complex.

This is largely due to people and companies figuring out how to get around the intent of tax policy so the response is more complications. Not sure how a new tax policy will avoid this.

Taxes are needed to provide services.

Polices impact how much money should be raised.

There are serious differences of opinion on what tax rates should be for businesses and individuals. There are two types of opinions. Those linked to

party politics and those of non-partisan experts.

We are being told by some that the new tax bill will stimulate business and raise the income of everyone. This has not worked in the past and refuted by numerous independent economists.

When implemented in the past, this approach seems to have been a major contributor to the current unholy income and standard of living divide.

This divide is partially responsible for the large need for public assistance.

Several CEOs of large corporation have stated that the tax reduction they would receive will not cause them to hire more employees. The savings will go to stockholders.

The following is some of what I have read (I agree not everything in print is accurate): It is certain that the benefits to lower- and middle-income taxpayers will sunset in 2023 while the breaks to the wealthy and businesses will continue forever and ever.

A lot of the impact depends on individual situations and whether the final bill strips health insurance from millions of people. Those losing ACA insurance will have insurance rate increases that more than offset tax reductions.

Not all provisions are bad including deductions for medical expenses (these will increase if you lose your ACA insurance, expanded child care tax credits, adoption tax credit, maintaining charitable deductions from IRAs and maintaining 401K and IRAs).

State and local taxes (property tax for example) might not be deductible — the details are still being discussed. see LETTERS Page 7

Boulder Weekly

the anderson files

THE ANDERSON FILES from Page 6

demonized gays and immigrants.

But Jones was quite liberal. He supported abortion rights, said “health care is a right,” favored expanded background checks on gun purchases, supported same-sex marriage and criticized the Trump administration for withdrawing guidelines for schools on the treatment of transgender students and for banning transgender people from serving in the military.

The labor movement considered his election a victory for working peo-

ple. Few people outside of the South realize that the region has amazingly become a low-wage alternative to China for multinational corporations.

Auto factories have proliferated throughout the region and Republican politicians have fiercely fought against union organizers.

On the campaign trail, Jones boasted about growing up in a union family as the grandson of unionized steelworkers who were both employed by U.S. Steel in Birmingham. He had a sum-

mer job as a steelworker in order to pay his way through college. After he graduated from law school, Jones worked as a lawyer at the firm of Whatley Drake, where he represented unions.

Mike Elk reported in The Guardian, “Jones has already told labor leaders that he is going to hire a full-time labor liaison to coordinate his efforts on behalf of Alabama’s labor movement. Jones’s office could play a tremendous role in engaging political and community leaders to

get behind efforts to organize the state’s growing auto industry.”

This is a pivotal historical moment.

Trumpism is a clear and present danger to democracy. This regime is steeped in incessant lies, breath-taking corruption, white supremacy, misogyny and homophobia. We can end this nightmare if we build a multi-racial coalition of working people based in a revitalized labor movement.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

letters LETTERS from Page 6

Mortgage interest deduction might or might not be retained. Those in the housing sector are concerned.

Colleges are likely to pay more taxes.

Student loan interest will not be deductible. While scholarships will not be taxed, stipends for graduate students will be. Many universities face serious problems if these provisions become law.

Some are concerned that increasing the standard tax deduction will result in a reduction in charitable donations because tax deductions will be smaller.

The increasing number of seniors will be hurt badly just when they are likely to need more life-saving health care.

Bob Norris/Longmont

Happy winter solstice

There is a man in Boulder — tall, thin, long-bearded and hood-shrouded — most would call, “ homeless.” His “home” is the streets of Boulder.

He walks night and day, every day in rain, snow and shine... a white plastic bucket in one hand, a 3-foot grab pole in the other.

He picks up trash systematically, methodically... all the detritus rich people drop. As he does this every day, he checks the parking meter slots just in case someone forgot to pick up a quarter.

It was not much, but I handed him $5.

We stopped. I thanked him. He said, “Thank you. I do this for people like you.”

Gulp. Mindfulness like this is humbling, breathtaking.

I don’t know his name, but if ever the Winter Solstice Spirit could be epitomized during this season, this man — as people rush around in their Porsches, Beamers, attending churches not seeing the forest for the trees — this man sheds light upon us all.

Happy winter solstice.

Phil Brittin/Boulder Boulder Weekly

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A LONG UGLY STORYby Joel Dyer Joel Dyer

Sometime in the fall of 1979 I got a phone call from a friend of my older brother. He wanted to know if I was interested in making some money. Having no money, no job and nothing else to do, I replied, “Maybe... doing what?”

He said, “Chasing Indians.”

Thirty-eight years ago I was a 21-year-old longhaired peacenik with no particular career aspirations living in a $75-a-month, three-room shack with a band and anybody else who needed a place to flop.

The offer to “chase Indians” came on a day with mustard-only sandwiches on the menu so I agreed to meet the guy at his office in downtown Oklahoma City.

Turned out he worked for an oil company. And that phone call... nearly four decades later, is still an unfolding story.

Not surprisingly, I would come to learn that “chasing Indians” was a racist term that, like so many other racist terms, was thought to be somehow funny by those who coined it. In the context of the oil biz, it referred to tracking down the heirs of deceased Native American mineral rights owners from very poorly kept records at the Bureau of Indian Affairs. The BIA is an agency within the Department of Interior that, among other things, is charged with managing hundreds of thousands of Individual Indian Money Accounts (IIMs) in trust for Native peoples.

IIMs are a long, ugly story in their own right. For purposes here, just think of them as a black stain on American history that harkens back to efforts of forcibly assimilating Indians into white culture while stealing their lands and money. Make that a black stain on the present day as well. It’s still happening.

But back to “chasing Indians.”

Theoretically, the job was to locate certain Native Americans, but finding them was not considered as important as showing that you’d made some effort to look for them. If by chance you actually managed to find such a descendent, the goal was to get them to sign an oil and gas lease if they weren’t “restricted.”

Being labeled “restricted” is a long, ugly story in its own right. For purposes here, just think of it as our government’s effort to protect Indians from themselves and unscrupulous white speculators, or at least that’s the story. Supposedly, out of the goodness of its heart, the federal government declared hundreds of thousands of Native Americans and their future heirs 10 December 28, 2017

to be “restricted,” meaning they can’t execute legal documents for themselves, at least not deeds and leases on their inherited Indian lands or mineral rights and things like that.

As you can imagine, there are few angrier people in this world than a Native American attorney who isn’t allowed to sign her own oil and gas lease while the dumbass white guy with a second-grade education taking up space on the bench in front of the local gas station can put his name anywhere he wants it. Long story short, the government is in charge of signing leases for “restricted” Indians and more importantly, managing their lease bonus payments, rental payments and royalty monies.

What could go wrong?

But back to the topic at hand.

For the most part, “chasing Indians” was simply considered a legal formality so that the oil company could claim it had tried to find the missing heirs before they “forced pooled” their mineral interest under a well.

“Force pooling” is a long, ugly story in its own right. For purposes here, think of it as a way of taking the oil from someone you never found to ask their permission or even from someone who refused to sign your lease after you did find them. That’s right, the law lets the industry go ahead and take the oil so long as it keeps the money that would have gone to the missing or uncooperative mineral owners in an account in case they ever show up to claim it.

Unfortunately, if you are Native American, that account is an IIM at the Department of Interior’s BIA. Well, I didn’t know all that back then, so I said I’d do it. I decided to split the proceeds of my new temp job with my best friend and frequent house flopper Brad. A small price to pay for good company, as I was told I’d be spending a few weeks driving around in

Western Oklahoma talking to strangers. I am an introvert after all.

The pay was good, twice as much as I’d ever made in my life. At least it was before I split it. We were given a stack of files with snippets of information about the people we were to look for. But as we were leaving, we were also handed $100 cash and told to buy as many bottles of cheap whiskey as it would purchase (Canadian Mist was about $4 a fifth at the time). The idea was to offer the whiskey in exchange for information as to people’s whereabouts. We were told it was “the only way they’ll tell you anything.”

We may have been young and naïve, but we knew how messed up that was.

It was hard to believe even in 1979 that the oil and gas industry was still acting like the guys in black hats trading guns and whiskey in an old Jimmy Stewart movie. We thought the whole “chasing Indians” thing sounded kind of crazy, but the whiskey crap was way over the line. I can’t remember if we eventually used any of that hundred bucks for whiskey or not, but if we did, we were the ones who drank it.

The first file in our stack instructed us to find the heirs of a Native woman who died in 1921. After half a century, there could easily have been a hundred or more of them but all we had to go on was a handwritten note in the file with the name Forrest Flyingout and a Weatherford, Oklahoma address. We arrived at a small brick house out in the country, definitely Indian housing. The front door was open and as we walked onto the porch a man’s voice barked from inside asking what we wanted.

I told him we were looking for Mr. Flyingout to sign an oil lease. He told us to come in. There were four guys I’d guess to be in their early 30s sitting around the living room. One of the men said he might know Forrest and then to my amazement, he asked if we had any pot or whiskey. I started laughing Boulder Weekly

and pretty soon all of us were laughing.

We exchanged asshole-oil-industry epithets for a few minutes. I told them about the hundred bucks and the instructions that came with it. They weren’t surprised at all. The whole whiskey thing was a running inside joke for them and apparently everyone in their community. They weren’t sure how it got started, but they took great delight in making the racist idiots from the oil companies give them booze to get directions to somebody’s house. A couple of cigarettes later, the guy in the rocking chair by the window told me he thought Forrest was at a little blue house about two miles further up the road. We said our goodbyes and headed that way.

When we got to the blue house, the woman who answered the door told us that Forrest was in town shooting pool.

When we got to the bar we asked three Native guys around the table if one of them was Forrest. We were told he had just left to go over to a friend’s house.

They directed us back to the original house where we started. I could hear the laughing inside as we walked towards the front door for the second time, albeit two hours later. Once inside Forrest introduced himself. He was the guy in the rocking chair who had sent us on our goose chase. We may not have been the usual oil company jerks but we were still fair game. Pretty funny really. You can have a lot of fun with strangers and a few phone calls if so inclined.

And that’s when my BIA-oil-money education began, although I didn’t know it at the time.

All I wanted to do was get Forrest, who was “unrestricted,” to sign a lease so he could get his bonus payment and hopefully ongoing royalty checks if the well wasn’t a dry hole. This was back when wells went up and down instead of horizontal so they missed pay-dirt pretty regularly. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t more interested in signing. It was easy enough to see from our surroundings the money could be put to good use.

Then he told me that no matter what he signed or was supposed to get, he’d never see a dime. He explained how the money always disappeared into the BIA and never got dispersed.

It was a story I would hear over and over again from Native people during the next few weeks. I thought I was really onto something and couldn’t wait to report what was happening in Indian Country when I got back to the city.

But nobody at the oil company seemed concerned by the stories of missing money. It wasn’t their fault the BIA kept crappy records.

Fast-forward 17 years.

I didn’t cut my hair but that career Boulder Weekly

thing eventually worked itself out. In August of 1996, I was a journalist going through boxes of files at the Native American Rights Fund (NARF) in Boulder. I was working on a story about missing money owed to the tribes — tens, if not hundreds, of billions of dollars worth of missing money. Thanks to that phone call nearly two decades earlier, I knew how it had gotten “lost” and so did the attorneys at NARF. Fast-forward 14 years.

It was December 2010 and I was working on another update to what, for me, has been a 38-year-long story and

for Native Americans more than a century longer than that. President Obama finally signed off on the Claims Resolution Act, which was a $3.4 billion with a “b” settlement to Native Americans for all their lost money from the government’s mishandling of the IIM accounts. Granted, it was only a fraction of the Indian’s money that had been misappropriated, the polite word for stolen. But it was a lot better than nothing, and it was important that the government had been made to admit it had been screwing over Native Americans for a really long time includ-

ing modern times. It was old news to Indians but shocking to a lot of people who like to pretend “manifest destiny” was something that came and went in the 1800s as opposed to something currently driving policy. Ever heard of Standing Rock? That’s what manifest destiny looks like today.

And so the long, ugly story continues.

It all just goes to show that you never know which things that come your way will end up being big chapters in your life. And if you want to create change, you better be in for the long haul.

Cheers to the New Year! ®

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THE HIDDEN PATH

by Angela K. Evans

Angela K. Evans

I called a good friend heartless this year. Who have I become?

I’ve always prided myself on being a rational, reasonable person. I don’t offend easily. I don’t take things personally. I welcome conversation with people I disagree with. I have a vast array of both conservative and liberal friends.

I’ve teased and been teased based on contrasting beliefs, learning to laugh at differences rather than be intimidated by them. I’ve felt immune to the ideological strife that has so often defined the world around me.

But then came 2017 and something changed. I no longer feel in control.

I now know the meaning of “blinded by rage” and “blood boiling.” I’ve had visceral reactions to events and others’ responses to them; felt like the wind’s been knocked out of me by someone’s words; experienced vertigo as I attempt to process what’s being said, done and promoted.

In early November last year, underneath a photo of a trail covered by fallen orange and red leaves I posted on social media, I wrote, “Sometimes Boulder Weekly

changing seasons hide the path in front of us... May we find a way forward today, tomorrow and thereafter.”

This is what I want to believe — that there is a way forward, together.

But, I am part of a demographic that overwhelmingly voted for someone I did not. I can no longer identify with the majority of white women of the Christian faith. It’s been disorienting; my identity has been shaken to the core. With it has come an almost unspeakable frustration, which leads to pessimism. My sense of trust seems ever-shrinking. Everything feels threat-

ened; nothing feels sacred, safe or secure.

The same way the country doesn’t feel recognizable to me, I don’t recognize who I’ve become in these changing times. It’s not just that it feels like we’ve lost ourselves as a nation, in some ways it feels like I’ve lost myself too.

These days, more often than not, I default to generalizations and assumptions rather than nuanced understanding. I’ve lashed out and been downright mean to people I care about.

Instead of asking questions and listening, I find myself yelling, accusing,

shaming. Instead of backing down, I poke and prod, looking for a fight.

I’ve angrily hung up the phone on some of the people I respect most, resorting to passive-aggressive texts to get my point across. I’ve launched into ideological soliloquies without taking a breath, before turning on my heels and walking away, proud that mine was the last word. I’ve validated my perspective while denigrating others. In moments like this, I’ve stopped questioning the possibility that I’m wrong and others could be right.

I no longer choose to engage. I’ve closed myself off and stick with people and groups with whom I agree, seeking only affirmation of my own beliefs. I’ve convinced myself my anger is righteous, my dissent justified. I’m exhausted, too tired to hold much space for others and their opposing views.

And it’s not just in conversation. If another driver gets too close or cuts me off, I feel the anger start to rise faster than before. I’m more impatient in long lines at the grocery store. I make biting comments to complete strangers. My compassion is waning.

And yet, there’s a glimmer, the smallest whisper, of hope — in the cold air hitting my bare face in the morning as I step outside; in an apology exchanged; in laughing with my neighbor as her dog chases its tail; in the kind wave from the car next to me in traffic; in the shared tears of sorrow that remind me I’m not alone.

In these moments of clarity, I know that I have not actually become something else. The me that I know, and want to be, is still here. And the reasons I respect and care about the people I don’t see eye to eye with are still here too. In these moments of clarity, I can recognize that in all of our diversity and disagreement, beauty and breath, we are living history, together.

And we will overcome, together.

December 28, 2017 13

THE BIKINI

by Amanda Moutinho

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14 December 14, 2017

I remember the first time I felt fat. I was 7 years old, and so excited to spend the day at the pool. I spent the morning running around telling my family what moves I was going to do in the water and which jumps I’d attempt off the diving board. Eager to get the day started, I raced to my room to put on my favorite swimsuit: a bright orange bikini adorned with yellow polka dots, frills on the shoulders and a bow on the back.

The swim frock made me feel pretty and sassy, bolstering me with the sparkly confidence only a child can have.

On this particular day, when I showed my parents my clothing choice, they looked at each other with a mild sense of concern. In a hushed tone, my mother turned to my father and asked if my tummy was too big to be wearing something so small. My father quietly agreed and gently asked me if I didn’t want to wear something else.

I felt deflated. I didn’t understand.

This was the obvious choice. Didn’t they notice the polka dots and the bow?

But with a few more nudges from my parents to choose something “more appropriate,” I opted for another swimsuit that was much less flamboyant, and therefore “more appropriate.” Whatever that means.

While my well-intentioned parents

weren’t meaning to dim my shine, the damage was done. It was the first time I was told there was a wrong way to have a body — a seed planted in the mind of a child, ripe for the fertilizer of adolescence.

• • • • The early formative years passed, and I reached the rite of passage most every teenage girl faces: the ugly battle of body image. I was lucky enough to escape bullying from my peers, but that didn’t save me from the bullying teenage girls do to themselves.

While many girls grew out of their baby fat, I must have been growing into my adult fat. I never could relate to my girlfriends who wanted to lose just 3 pounds. I always wanted to lose pounds in the higher double digits, and eventually triple digits.

As the pounds went on, the insecurities deepened. The vicious cycle began: MTV watching, magazine reading, model envying, diet starting, selfloathing, meal skipping, endlessly exercise, constantly weighing, continually running headfirst into a brick wall wishing it would let me break through.

When you grow up, you learn the thin rules: Black is slimming. Vertical stripes help too. Cover your arms. Wear capri pants, not shorts. And maybe the most sacred rule of all: Bikinis are reserved for skinny girls only.

I still loved swimming so much that I endured the pain of shopping in the “old lady swimsuits,” as I called them.

This meant a handful of options featuring homely shapes, unflattering lines, grisly flower patterns, and your choice of awkward skirt or masculine shorts.

(Thin rule: Never show the tops of your thighs.)

When I shopped at the mall with my friends, I’d browse with them through the aisles of swimsuits that I coveted, filled with rainbows of colors, dainty straps, bold patterns and a variBoulder Weekly

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ety of styles to choose from.

When my friends would grab an armful of suits to try on, I’d lie and tell them I forgot my wallet or that I had just bought a super cute suit.

But I knew the truth. These racks were not for fat girls, not for someone whose weight was medically described as “morbid,” not for me.

A valley of weeds had grown in my mind, and concrete had sealed them in as my foundation. I began retreating into myself, letting the world define my body and my confidence. I accepted my fate: I’m fat, I’m not pretty, and I won’t be pretty until I’m thin.

• • • • As the years passed, nothing much changed. Ugly swimsuits came and went, and my body remained about the same size, and tainted by societal standards.

After graduating college, I moved to Rio de Janeiro. With gorgeous beaches blocks away from my apartment, a swimsuit became part of my daily wardrobe.

One morning before heading to the beach, I chatted with a high school friend about life in South America. She asked me about my job, my effort to master Portuguese, my dating life, the weather, and then about the women: “Isn’t Brazil the land of supermodels? Does everyone look like Gisele Bündchen or Adriana Lima? I bet the beaches are filled with them.”

I answered her saying I hadn’t really noticed anything out of the ordinary.

But her question rang in my head as I walked to the beach. It was then, sitting on the sand, that I looked around and noticed something curious: I was surrounded by a slew women with different body types, shapes and sizes — every single one of them in a bikini.

It was astounding. I had to be mistaken. But there I was, scanning every woman, realizing I was the only person in a one-piece.

Furthermore, all these women acted Boulder Weekly

so... normal. All of them more interested in their beer or conversations or handball tournaments or flirting with cute boys rather than any part of them spilling out of a swimsuit.

I left the beach later with my head swimming. Who were these women?

How could they be so cavalier with their swimwear choices? How dare they challenge strict societal rules? What was their secret?

A crack had penetrated the foundation.

It had been almost two decades since I had considered wearing a bikini again. It was never even an option. But then I couldn’t remember. Why hadn’t it been an option?

After multiple more beach trips, a little coaxing from friends, a small existential crisis and a few shopping trips, I made the leap and bought a simple black bikini. While it might not have been as flashy as my beloved orange, polka-dot one, this suit functioned as my “One Small Step For Man” moment.

I wish I could say it was a remarkable day in any way. That when I took off my cover-up, the crowd on the beach pointed and sneered, or conversely, everyone gave me a standing ovation while inspirational music swelled. Or moreover, that anyone even noticed me.

But I was just another person on the beach.

As I sat there in astonishment, I pondered the copious amount of time spent wasted on the issue that felt so monumental throughout my life. I thought about the implications of societal pressure on body image, and how patriarchal nonsense dictates what women think they can wear. About how confidence shouldn’t depend on body size…

But then, I felt the sun on my skin and I noticed how inviting the waves looked. I pushed aside my musings and went in the water to enjoy the beautiful beach day. After all, that’s what I was supposedly there for in the first place.

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NAKED BELIEF

by Emma Murray

My favorite professors were the ones who’d set me up a space heater before I arrived. Even in the early fall months, just as semesters got underway, goose bumps would sprout along my outer thighs and upper arms while I stood there on the platform, naked.

The List Art Building, a large rectangular structure on the east side of campus, didn’t have much insulation with its semi-industrial design and bare-bones classrooms. When I was scheduled for a gig, I’d arrive a few minutes before class, introduce myself to the professor, learn the lesson plan, fold my clothes into a neat pile on a metal stool, walk across the concrete floor to the center of the room and step atop the six-bysix wooden platform that was my stage.

Students would file in and arrange themselves in a circle around me, their easels lifted no higher than anyone’s chin.

Then I would sit or stand or lounge there, still as a statue, and they would sketch or draw or paint my body.

Being a nude model was easier than I expected. Most of the time I didn’t know the students. Though when I did, from other classes or clubs, taking my clothes off to stand under the soft fluorescent light while the artists pulled out Boulder Weekly

their charcoal sticks and smoothed out their silky paper, a mutual understanding was forged. My thighs turned to curves. Sex turned to flesh. Nipples to swoops. Hips to triangles. Lips to crescent moons.

Yes, I was naked, willingly employed to be so, but under the veil of art my body was safe and I, respected. It was up on that stage where I learned to love my body.

roundness of my calves, the arc in my spine, the folds of my belly, the angle of my wrist, the weight in my feet.

I’d stare at them, of course, watching their eyes scan me up and down, their arms dancing behind the easels.

The 10-second postures were easy.

It was sitting or standing still for more than 10 minutes that got difficult. In setting myself up, I had a few things to consider: What pose won’t make my Flickr/Karen Eliot hands or feet fall asleep? What won’t tweak my spine in a way that makes walking out painful? What won’t expose my butthole? What will be interesting, different or challenging for the artists?

Once I settled into a posture, I’d make sure my weight was evenly distributed between all points of contact with the ground — mitigating the loss of blood to different body parts — and ensure I could breathe easily and deeply. Meditating would help the time, and the urge to move, pass by.

Once, while working through the final minutes of a half-hour pose, a thought occurred to me. I was sitting cross-legged on a stool, my left leg completely asleep. There are plenty of things in life that we know, I realized, but not everything we know do we actually believe. Take bodies, for instance. We know bodies reflect health in wildly diverse ways; they’re supposed to look Classes usually started with a different from one to another. But do warm-up: 30 or so rapid-fire 10-second we all really believe that, each time we postures. I’d count in my head — look at ourselves? I glanced down at breathe in one, breathe out; breathe in my belly rolling on top of itself and the two, breathe out — and change my blemished skin stretched across my position each time I got to 10. As I thighs. Sure, I’d say I knew it was OK I switched from pose to pose — angel didn’t look like a traditional model figpicking fruit, angry stock investor, ure. But the urge to tuck myself in, ambitious marathoner, ninja with a smooth myself out, told me I didn’t broken arm — I rotated around my quite believe it. What does it take to platform, offering the various facets of believe? my body equally to everyone in the During a gig a few weeks later, as I room. Sometimes I’d make eye contact flowed through the warm-up, I stared with the artists, but mostly they scribsee NAKED Page 18 bled furiously, committing to paper the

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at a rail-thin, pimpled boy in a navy crewneck sweater. He obsessively wiped his face with the back of his forearm and refused to bring his eyes above my shoulders. I wondered if I might be the first woman he’d ever seen naked.

I switched positions again, but kept him in my view. In that moment, I wanted to be — or at least I hoped I was the first he’d seen in the flesh.

No one’s ever called me “gorgeous” or “skinny” or told me I should be a model. The thought had never even crossed my mind until the first drawing class I took. Our model was short, untoned and her legs were so hairy I could see the black fuzz from the corner of the room. Seeing her on the platform made me think: If she can do it, I can do it.

Standing there — bare-breasted, pubic hair overflowing, thighs smashed together, pimples alert — holding my own, I could continue her statement. We can all do this. I took a breath and stared at the boy. I wanted to transmute calm and confidence, as if to have him and the rest of the students use every stroke to decode the message: Beauty is reality. Five feet, five inches and 150 pounds of rounded edges, sloped features, frizzy hair lines and blemished skin is beauty, too.

On stage, under the veil of art, it was easy to embody this. But one night during my second-to-last semester, I had to confront my body-acceptance in the real world.

I was standing with a few friends on our campus green when a guy approached us, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “What’s going on?” he asked, maybe drunk.

Before anyone answered, he blurted: “You,” pointing at me, “I’ve seen you naked.”

My stomach sunk, the veil yanked down too hard too fast. Flesh turned back to sex. Curves to thighs, nipples, hips, lips. Mine. The mutual understanding of my body as art, not sex, evaporated like the smoke from his cigarette. Naked me in his mind felt cruel, like a relic he’d pillaged from my depths, one I’d never get back.

I didn’t respond. He laughed, pulling the cigarette from his lips, and then sauntered on.

The grass was wet from an early rainfall and in the moonlight, his footsteps left shimmering insteps. Was this what I’d signed up for? I had willingly stood before him with no clothes on, yes. My job was to avail my body for his academic experience, yes. But that didn’t mean he could take my body for

his own, pervert it for himself. I wasn’t “asking for it” — him snatching my womanhood for his own mind.

Was it naive of me to think that standing up there on the stage was liberating my body, not reducing it to an object?

The rain poured down for days that spring. Every time I would walk up to the List Art Building, I’d pause at the door, and let the drops pound my forehead. I fought with him in my head, thought of all the clever things I could say back. I imagined clenching the fingers he himself had drawn and connecting them with his face.

I’d enter the building. Hair wet.

Really, my fight wasn’t against him; I never saw him again after that night.

The fight was against myself — resisting the urge to quit; to keep my womanhood private and safe; to reclaim what was mine; to never give someone the chance to take it away again.

I’d pause at the classroom door, thinking it would be so easy to quit.

Too easy.

So I’d stand on the stage and scan the concentrated faces, the pimpled freshmen, the washed-up seniors, men and women of all body types, colors, sizes. Up there I’d remember why I came back. No one could ever take away the pride I felt in normalizing non-skinny, imperfect bodies. My modeling was bigger than myself — I felt like an ambassador from reality visiting a small congregation in a college world.

There were people that needed to see me in the flesh, just like I’d needed to see examples of people who looked like me embodying what I wanted to embody. They, like me, needed to see confidence and self-love emitting from and directed toward an imperfect body, in real life. From my six-by-six pulpit I wanted to use my nakedness to scream: Let’s normalize real bodies.

So I continued to stand, sit, lunge and squat on my stage, baring all for batches of college students to observe, absorb and recreate.

When classes finished, I liked to walk around the circle and see myself in a thousand different forms.

Sometimes I had giant hips, tiny breasts, a pinched face, unruly hair, large feet. I never expected perfection from them in recreating my body on paper.

It took me summoning the courage to get back on the stage, practicing my preachings again and again, for my own message to finally sink in. After 22 years I finally believed in the beauty of my body.

Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

overtones All grown up

Greensky Bluegrass embraces the ‘m-word’ on their new album by Alan Sculley

M

aturity is a term some musicians prefer not to see associated with themselves or their bands. After all, music is considered a young person’s game and youthful rebellion is what’s usually considered hip. But with the release of the sixth Greensky Bluegrass studio album, Shouted, Written Down & Quoted, mandolin player/singer Paul Hoffman is embracing the “m-word” as a sign of the continued musical development of his group. “It’s sort of the nature of our ensemble that we play a lot — and overplay even,” Dylan Langille Hoffman says. “In bluegrass bands, like, everybody is playing and playing so many damn notes. And at some point, I think with all music and all musicians, you get a little bit older and you realize, OK, I can play a lot of notes. But how do I play less? It’s the nature of all things, with flavor, words, color, music — the restraint is a more mature art form in learning how to use it.

“So that, for me, on this record I thought was really cool,” he says. “There are a lot of delicate moments. I think maybe it translates to, it’s not like in your face rocking the whole time. There are these tender, beautiful moments; I think we actually created beautiful moments. I don’t know that we’ve done that in the past. Like there are some parts on there that are really pretty. ... Those are all of my favorite moments on the record because they’re just so different from what we do all the time.”

Greensky Bluegrass fans, though, don’t have to worry that the group has lost its edge on Shouted, Written Down & Quoted. The band is known for its progressive approach to bluegrass and for bringing rock-and-roll energy to its music, and that isn’t lost on the latest album.

Songs like “Run Or Die,” “Fixin’ To Ruin,” “Living Over” and “Take Cover” have plenty of energy in their brisk tempos and the quick-finger picking Boulder Weekly

that the band members bring to their parts and solos.

But Hoffman is right about the moments of restraint and beauty that are peppered throughout Shouted, Written Down & Quoted.

The group doesn’t worry about breaking any land speed records on mid-tempo songs like “Miss September” and “Past My Prime,” choosing instead to make the notes count and focusing on the vocal melodies that carry the songs. And ballads like “Room Without a Roof,” “While Waiting” and “More Of Me” are all

about putting melody and mood first, with instrumental virtuosity taking a back seat.

It makes sense that the five members of Greensky Bluegrass are showing more maturity in their music and playing, considering that they now qualify as seasoned artists and performers.

The group’s beginnings go back 17 years, to 2000 in Kalamazoo, Michigan, when Hoffman, guitarist/singer Dave Bruzza and banjo player/singer Michael Arlen Bont formed the core of the original Greensky Bluegrass.

The group went through a couple of lineup changes shortly after releasing its debut album, Less than Supper, in May 2004, eventually settling into the current lineup that also includes Michael Devol on upright bass and vocals and Anders Beck on steel guitar.

A pivotal year for the band was 2006, when it released is second album, Tuesday Letter, and won the Telluride

ON THE BILL: An Evening with Greensky Bluegrass. 8 p.m. Jan. 11, 12, 13, 935 E. Colfax Ave., Denver. All three shows are sold out.

Bluegrass Festival Band Competition.

This earned Greensky Bluegrass a main-stage slot at the 2007 Telluride Bluegrass Festival, a performance that elevated the group’s profile and put the group’s career on a decidedly upward arc.

Since then, Greensky Bluegrass has released three more studio albums (2008’s Five Interstates, 2011’s Handguns and 2014’s If Sorrows Swim), and seen its audience grow to the point where Greensky Bluegrass now routinely plays major theaters and main stages of major festivals.

The group’s shows have grown bigger on a visual level along the way, and that will be the case as Greensky Bluegrass returns to the road this fall and winter, playing two sets of music each evening and changing up the set list from show to show.

“We keep getting more and more lights and more and more production stuff for the stage, so the stage look is a little big and a lot of the rooms have gotten bigger,” Hoffman says.

The visual emphasis is meant to serve a larger goal — to help make a Greensky Bluegrass concert an event that fosters a sense of community within the audience. It’s an ethic Hoffman says grew out of seeing his share of rock concerts, with Phish being a particularly big influence “That’s a big influence for us, just the presentation of the music and the concept of the show being an event and catering to people who see a whole run of shows,” Hoffman says.

“That kind of community-based music is something that was important to all of us growing up.

Musically it’s hard to say that Phish was a big influence other than just going for it. But I think that relationship with the fans and sort of the responsibility of the music as a bigger thing I learned from them very much.”

December 28 , 2017 21

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Boulder Weekly

ESSE QUAM VIDERI To be, rather than to seem

by Caitlin Rockett I’m from Western North Carolina, from a town in the foothills nestled up against the Appalachian (AppaLATCH-un, the way I say it, but more on that later) Mountains. As a kid I played in the woods all day, picked up crawdads (maybe y’all call this critter a crawfish out West), ate collard greens and black-eyed peas for good luck on New Year’s Day and stood bemused every time my neighbor’s grandmother asked me and my playmate to “warsh” the dishes.

Where in the actual hell did that R come from? Then there was the perplexing issue of the missing letters in the “veg’ables” that same Maw-Maw would cook for us at dinner, or what I was supposed to do when I was told (before church, of course) that the seam in my stockings was sigogglin.

The old-timers would add T’s to the end of words that clearly didn’t end in t and placed A’s where I’s obviously went: “You heared me: I said git arosst that yard with the mower... or do I need to laht a fahr under your arse? I ain’t gonna tell you twicet.”

And we all knowed they wasn’t gonna tell us twicet.

Honestly, my accent’s never been strong, and, honestly, most of my family doesn’t speak this way. But I sure as hell grew up around this kind of language.

My parents and grandparents all have stronger southern accents and dialects than I do, and their parents had stronger accents than them, and I realized at some point we’d all been pushed to smooth the kinks out of our voices.

According to folks who study such Boulder Weekly

Jesse Thurston/Pixabay

things, the stigma of sounding like a hillbilly began in the late 19th century after the U.S. Civil War. Authors created fictional illiterate characters whose broken grammar set the foundation for the negative stereotype of Appalachian residents that still exists today. Then you’ve got your Beverly Hillbillies and Karl from Sling Blade and Cletus Spunkler from The Simpsons and Forest Gump and you see where this all went.

From the Outer Banks to the mountains, North Carolinians are lucky to know so much about the history of our dialects thanks to sociolinguist Walk Wolfram. Wolfram’s masterwork on the subject, Talkin’ Tarheel, details the origins of our Southern sounds, the way these sounds are changing and why.

The Western North Carolina dialect developed from the first European settlers in the area, who moved first from Scotland to Ireland and then to the U.S. Then there were other linguistic influences around (like the native Lumbee tribe) that further created the hodgepodge of pronunciation, grammar and unique words and phrases found in the region.

It was common practice in 18th-century England to use words such as “heared” and “knowed,” as was the addition of the letter T to words like across and twice. Southerners often created their own words — like sigogglin to mean crooked — which, when you just stop and think about it for a second, really isn’t weird at all considering we all run around today using words like tweeting and twerking and fleek.

But North Carolina is one of the

fastest growing states in the nation, with Charlotte the second largest financial center in the country. The Research Triangle of Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill draws great minds from around the world to work at Duke, UNC Chapel Hill and NC State, and you can’t say “Asheville” in Boulder without someone telling you they almost moved there instead. So things are changing and they’re changing fast.

And the pressure to soften Southern sounds and phrasing is strong, and nowhere is the pressure stronger than from the inside.

As a child, if I dared drop a G or an R, or slurred a word like library to the point that it sounded like li-berry, I’d have to quietly endure the white-hot scorn of my equally Southern-born, but better traveled (read: wealthier) cousins.

At about 12 years old, on the phone with a pen pal from Oklahoma, she mocked the way I said Appa-LATCHun. No, she corrected, it’s Appa-LAYshun.

But everyone around me says it the way I do...

“OK,” she said with a laugh that clearly implied pity, “whatever.”

I suddenly felt she had just pictured me shoeless, toothless and witless and there was no coming back from that.

Caitlin Spunkler at your service.

But why are we so judgmental toward each other?

A study out of the University of Chicago found that stereotypes based on accents are learned in childhood. By around 10 years old, children begin to associate Northern-accented voices as

being “smarter” and “in charge,” while those with Southern accents sound “nicer.”

Ultimately, as the research goes, Southern school children hear Northern accents at a young age on the news and in movies. As they grow up they begin to associate the Northern accent with intelligence and power. Northern children don’t hear Southern accents as much, and when they do it’s likely to be a character like Cletus.

In a way, maybe Southerners are subconsciously trained to devalue themselves, and there’s only one thing that can come from hate, and that’s more hate.

And maybe that’s part of the problem in the South.

The motto of North Carolina is “esse quam videri,” meaning “to be, rather than to seem.” The motto is an interpretation of a sentence in Cicero’s On Friendship: “Virtute enim ipsa non tam multi praediti esse quam videri volunt.”

“Fewer possess virtue than those who wish us to believe that they possess it.”

Perhaps if North Carolina, and the South as a whole, could get beyond the self-loathing, we could begin to create real change, to move forward with the rest of this country. Let’s stop electing politicians who hide behind fear and hate and call it religious conviction and virtue — let’s stop hating ourselves, stop hating others, and show that we possess real virtue.

We ain’t gotta smooth the kinks out of our voices — we’ve gotta smooth the kinks out of our collective consciousness.

December 28 , 2017 23

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Boulder Weekly

Courtesy of Comedy Works Entertainment

JOSH BLUE. 7:30 P.M.

AND 9:45 P.M. FRIDAY, DEC. 29 AND SATURDAY, DEC. 30, COMEDY WORKS, 1226 15TH ST., DENVER. TICKETS ARE $25.

see EVENTS Page 26

Ginny Mules.

The Matt Skinner Band.

8:30 p.m. Friday, Dec. 29, Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons.

8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 30, Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons.

The five members of Ginny Mules each bring their own blend of high-quality AppalaCourtesy of Ginny Mules chian music, blues, folk and bluegrass to the table, leading to their recognition as finalists in the renowned Rockygrass Festival band competition this year. Their distinctive sound is built on tight vocal harmonies and hard-driving, bluesy, fiddle-forward stylings. With their debut, self-titled album from 2016 garnering weekly spins on Bluegrass radio programs near and far, the Mules are setting their sights on a sophomore collection full of original songs, scheduled for release in 2018.

Drop by Oskar Blues in Lyons for a little pre-New Year’s Eve celebration with The Matt Skinner Band. This four-piece, alt-country roots-rock group has traveled up and down the front range with their catalog of Bare Bones Photography songs about love and danger, all delivered with front man Matt Skinner’s gravely tenor voice. Skinner’s released three solo albums, one independent EP and one album with the supergroup Eleven Bones. He’s also featured on Waylon Jennings: The Red River tribute (2004) and Undone: A Tribute to Robert Earl Keen (2009).

So head on up to Lyons and get your party on before you get your party on.

Boulder Weekly

BookCliff Vineyards’ Library Wine Tasting of Malbec.

1 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 31, Bookcliff Vineyards, 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 17, Boulder.

Susan France

BookCliff Vineyards has made Malbec from their own vineyards since 2012 and the wines have been popular ever since. In 2015, John and Ulla, the owners of BookCliff, visited Catena, Argentina — a well known producer of Malbec — to learn how they make outstanding Malbec. Now, Bookcliff makes two styles of Malbec, one that is aged in stainless steel tanks and a reserve aged in oak barrels.

For the library tasting they will offer at least four recent vintages. Come join the tasting and find out how these wines have developed in the bottle.

December 28 , 2017 25

events

EVENTS from Page 25

Thursday, December 28

A gathering place for...

live entertainment, special events, great food and drinks Buy Tickets: www.nissis.com

Give the Gift of a Great Night Out! Nissi’s Gift Cards available @ nissis.com Upcoming Events & Entertainment Friday Dec 29th

HINDSIGHT “Classic Rock”

Saturday Dec 30th

BOULDER WEEKLY SPONSORING

LIONEL YOUNG BAND “Blues/Rock”

Sunday Dec 31st NEW YEAR’S EVE

MILESTONE

Two Seatings: 6:30pm 3-Course Dinner & Dance Seating 10:00pm Ring In the New Year Seating “Music Variety”

Friday Jan 5th

VAN WHOLEN with special guest GYPSY WHISKEY “A Tribute to Van Halen & The Who”

Saturday Jan 6th

ONE ON ONE “Classic Soul, Rhythm & Blues”

Music Andrew Wynne. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville.

Bingo and Taco Thursday! 7 p.m. Bootstrap Brewing Company, 142 Pratt St., Longmont.

DJ Clark Thomas. 9 p.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

Glasss Records Showcase. 8 p.m. Lost Lake, 3602 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Happy Hour Bingo. 6 p.m. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St., Denver.

Joker. 9 p.m. The Black Box, 314 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Open Bluegrass Jam. 6:30 p.m. Open Door Brewing Co., 2030 Ionoshere St., Suite 6, Longmont.

Open Bluegrass Jam. 7 p.m. West Flanders Brewing, 1125 Pearl St., Boulder.

Rancor’s Demise (featuring Members of Kessel Run, Eminence Ensemble & Tula) — with Home Fried Boogaloo. 10 p.m. Your Mom’s House, 608 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Signal Test. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland.

Zach Deputy. 8 p.m. Globe Hall, 4483 Logan St., Denver.

Events Clive Davis: The Soundtrack of Our Lives .

4:30 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Comedy Night at Vision Quest. 8:30 p.m. Vision Quest Brewing, 2510 47th St., Boulder.

Hike for Seniors. 10 a.m. Ron Stewart Preserve at Rabbit Mountain, Boulder.

Holiday Lights Tour. 6 p.m. Union Station, Wynkoop and 17th streets, Denver.

“All-Vocal Rock”

On The Spot: Improv in the Style of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’ 8 p.m. Bovine Metropolis Theater, 1527 Champa St., Denver.

WASH PARK “Dance”

Permanent. 2:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Saturday Jan 13th

Scrooge: Bah Humbug! 6 p.m. Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main St., Longmont.

“80s Dance Party”

Trivia at Tandoori’s Bar. 6 p.m. Tandoori’s Bar, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder.

SONIC ARCADE Thursday Jan 17th

BOURBON & BLUES JOHNNY & THE MONGRELS BOOK YOUR NEXT PRIVATE EVENT AT NISSI’S Have your next business meeting, celebration, benefit, or wedding at Nissi’s – award winning cuisine & service and world class sound in a beautiful and artistic setting.

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LAFAYETTE, CO 303.665.2757 26 December 28 , 2017

ITCHY-O. 8 P.M. FRIDAY, DEC. 29, SUMMIT MUSIC HALL, 1902 BLAKE ST., DENVER. You’re not really living on the Front Range until you’ve seen Itchy-O, the “throbbing 50-piece collective of masked chaos” that removes the barrier between audience and performer. Their Halloween and New Year’s Eve shows are the stuff of legends.

This percussion-centered band features taiko drummers and an arsenal of electronics including synthesizers, theremin, vocoders and many other special devices. If you don’t like strobe lights, sequins, fog and fury, this ain’t the show for you.

Waiting Til Three. 8 p.m. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St., Denver.

Naughty Pierre’s Burlesque & Comedy Extravaganza. 8 p.m. The Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe St.

Friday Jan 12th

Jenise Jensen

Bonfire Dub — with Lil Skoops (late set), Steepland String Band. 8 p.m. Cervantes’ Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

Tuesday Jan 9th

FACE

staff pick

Friday, December 29 Music Argentine Tango GroundSchool Classes. 7 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road.

AudioMedz. 6 p.m. Bootstrap Brewing Company, 142 Pratt St., Longmont.

Boar Worship. 9 p.m. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St., Denver.

Botw 9: Citra, Fi, Super Pop. 7 p.m. Herman’s Hideaway, 1578 S. Broadway, Denver.

Cellar West Friday Bluegrass Pick. 6 p.m.

Cellar West Artisan Ales, 1001 Lee Hill Drive, Suite 10, Boulder.

Cheap Perfume. 9 p.m. Streets of London Pub,

1501 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

David Booker Duo. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tap Room, 921 Pearl St., Boulder.

Delta Sonics. 8 p.m. Black Buzzard, 1624 Market St., Denver.

Exile on Fox Street. 9 p.m. The Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Final Fridays: December. 9 p.m. The Black Box, 314 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Fort Knox Five — with The Party People, The Dirty Gemstones, PhloEthik, Looney Ando.

9 p.m. Cervantes’ Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

The Ginny Mules. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons.

Hindsight Classic Rock. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 North Park Drive, Lafayette.

Itchy-O. 8 p.m. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St., Denver.

Ken Walker Sextet. 6:30 p.m. Dazzle@Baur’s, 1512 Curtis St., Denver.

Lindsey Saunders. 5 p.m. The Tasty Weasel, 1800 Pike Road, Longmont.

Lori’s Cuisine. 3:30 p.m. Bootstrap Brewing Company, 142 Pratt St., Longmont.

Many Mountains. 8 p.m. Homemade Liquids and Solids, 1555 Hover St., Longmont.

The Ned Trio. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland.

Off With Their Heads. 9:30 p.m. Hi-Dive Denver, 7 S. Broadway, Denver.

Oomah, MIDIcinal, Mobiius, TESFA, OHNOO! 8 p.m. Your Mom’s House, 608 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Orbiter — with 80 Grit, Controlled Demise, Letter 9, Uncultured Swine. 7 p.m. Marquis Theatre, 2009 Larimer St., Denver.

Phish Livestream from Madison Square Garden. 5:30 p.m. Walnut Room, 3131 Walnut St., Denver.

Polish Ambassador & Friends New Year. 8 p.m. and 12:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder.

Rabblefish. 10 p.m. Appaloosa Grill, 535 16th St., Suite 11, Denver.

Railroad Earth: 3-Night Colorado NYE Run 2018. 8:30 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder.

SNAP! ’90s Dance Party, DJ A-L (The Soul Pros/Future Classic Music). 9 p.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

Spiral Cell Video Release Show. 7 p.m. Moon Room, 1902 Blake St., Denver.

Throwback Night: Phillip Baraducci. 10 p.m.

The Pop-Up, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder.

Wild Call. 8:30 p.m. Lost Lake, 3602 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

The Wildwoods. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont.

Events Clive Davis: The Soundtrack of Our Lives .

2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

ComedySportz. 7:30 p.m. Avenue Theater, 417 E. 17th Ave., Denver.

Eyes Wide Shut . 8:45 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Fate of The Comedy Show. 8 p.m. Los Tacos Famous Taqueria, 600 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Holiday Lights Tour. 6 p.m. Union Station, Wynkoop and17th streets, Denver.

Josh Blue. 7:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. Comedy Works, 1226 15th St., Denver.

L’Estrange Menagerie: A Sexy Circus. 11 p.m. The Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe St., Denver.

see EVENTS Page 28

Boulder Weekly

LITE BITES THROUGHOUT THE EVENING D R I N K S P E C I A L S | F R E E P H OTO B O OT H DA N C E T H E N I G H T AWAY W I T H DJ B - M O N E Y F E S T I V E PA R T Y FAVO R S | S P E C I A L G I V E AWAY C O M P L I M E N TA R Y C H A M PAG N E TOA S T AT M I D N I G H T

3 0 3 . 4 4 0 . 2 8 8 0 | E V E N T S @ B O U L D E R A D O.C O M 2 1 1 5 1 3 T H S T R E E T, B O U L D E R , CO 8 0 3 0 2

events

arts

Louise Abbema, “Lunch In The Conservatory,” 1877

Elemental Forms. University of Colorado Art Museum, Visual Arts Complex, 1085 18th St., Boulder. Through May 2018.

Eyes On: Xiaoze Xie. Denver Art Museum, Hamilton Building, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through July 8.

Faculty Exhibition: 2017. University of Colorado Art Museum, Visual Arts Complex, 1085 18th St., Boulder. Through Dec. 23.

Ganesha: The Playful Protector. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through October 2018.

Her Paris: Women Artists in the Age of Impressionism. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through Jan. 14.

Legacy — presented by Gallery 1261 and Denver Public Library. Denver Central Library, Level 7, Vida Ellison Gallery, 10 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through Dec. 31.

Less Ephemeral — by Marco Pinter. Dairy Center for the Arts, Polly Addison Gallery, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder. Through Jan. 21.

Lined Out — Ted Larsen. Boulder Museum of

Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St. Through Jan. 21.

Linking Asia: Art, Trade, and Devotion. Denver Art Museum, Hamilton Building, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through April 1.

Marginalia — by Joel Swanson. Dairy Center for the Arts, MacMillan Family Lobby and Hand-Rudy Gallery, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder. Through Jan. 21.

Marking Presence. Dairy Center for the Arts, McMahon Gallery, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Through Jan. 21.

Past the Tangled Present. Denver Art Museum,

Her Paris: Women Artists in the Age of Impressionism, showing at the Denver Art Museum through Jan. 21, features more than 80 paintings by 37 women artists from across Europe and America, who migrated to this epicenter of art to further their careers. They range from well-known artists such as Berthe Morisot, Mary Cassatt and Rosa Bonheur, to painters who are lesser-known in the United States, including Anna Ancher and Paula ModersohnBecker.

100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through Oct. 28, 2018.

Revealing A Mexican Masterpiece: The Virgin of Valvanera. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through February 2018.

Sinner in Gingham. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St.. Through Jan. 21.

Then, Now, Next: Evolution of an Architectural Icon. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver. Through February 2018.

EVENTS from Page 26

NYC Dance-Variety Show: Guilty Pleasures Cabaret. 8 p.m. The Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe St., Denver.

Susan France

On The Spot: Improv in the Style of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’ 8 p.m. Bovine Metropolis Theater, 1527 Champa St., Denver.

Password:Comedy. 7 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont.

words Join Boulder’s poetry community at Innisfree on Tuesday, Dec. 26 for the weekly open poetry reading at 7 p.m.

Permanent. 4:30 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Scrooge: Bah Humbug! 6 p.m. Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main St., Longmont.

Tuesday, January 2

Who Killed Santa? 8 p.m. Denver’s Dangerous Theatre, 2620 W. Second Ave., Suite 1, Denver.

Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder.

Working Together: An Improvised Sitcom. 10 p.m. Voodoo Comedy Playhouse, 1260 22nd St., Denver.

Young Artists at Work Holiday Camp. 9 a.m.

Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder.

Groovealicious. 10 p.m. Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder.

North Mississippi Allstars. 9 p.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

Music

Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder.

Old Man Winters. 10 p.m. The Pop-Up, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder.

The First Annual Great Gatsby Gala. 9 p.m.

Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St., Denver.

Jus Sayin. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Tap Room, 921 Pearl St., Boulder.

One Flew West. 8:30 p.m. Homemade Liquids and Solids, 1555 Hover St., Longmont.

Analog Son, Fox Street. 9 p.m. The Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

KGNU/Lion’s Lair Winter Quarterly Showcase — Dear Rabbit & More! 8:30 p.m. Lion’s Lair, 2022 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Phish Livestream from Madison Square Garden. 5:30 p.m. Walnut Room, 3131 Walnut St., Denver.

Lionel Young Duo. 4:30 p.m. The Tasty Weasel, 1800 Pike Road, Longmont.

Polish Ambassador & Friends NYE. 8 p.m. and 12:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder.

Saturday, December 30

Best Of The West Prelim #4. 7 p.m. Herman’s Hideaway, 1578 S. Broadway, Denver.

Brunch with Jen Korte Duo. 10:30 a.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

Chimney Choir. 7:30 p.m. Mercury Cafe, 2199 California St., Denver, 303-294-9258.

Dave Connelly. 10:30 a.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

28 December 28 , 2017

Live Music: Last Year’s Model. 7:30 p.m. Dannik’s Gunbarrel Corner Bar, 6525 Gunpark Drive, Boulder.

The Long Run. 7 p.m. The Dickens Opera House, 300 S. Main St., Longmont.

Eprom. 9 p.m. The Black Box, 314 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

The Mary Louise Lee Band R&B Holiday Jam. 8 p.m. The Clocktower Cabaret, 1601 Arapahoe St., Denver.

The Fresh & Onlys. 9 p.m. Hi-Dive Denver, 7 S. Broadway, Denver.

The Matt Skinner Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons.

Railroad Earth: 3-Night Colorado NYE Run 2018. 8:30 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder.

Red Stinger. 9 p.m. Lost Lake, 3602 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Rob Drabkin — with The Copper Children, Intuit. 9 p.m. Cervantes’ Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

Rumble Young Man Rumble. 9 p.m. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St., Denver.

Boulder Weekly

Slim Cessna’s Auto Club. 9 p.m. Globe Hall, 4483 Logan St., Denver.

Taylor Shrederick and Friends (A Tribute to Jamtronica) featuring Frederck Reisen, AJ Gillman, Chris Beck. 12 a.m. Your Mom’s House, 608 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Trevor Hall — with Satsang, Rob Drabkin, The Copper Children, Intuit. 9 p.m. Cervantes’ and The Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

Events 3MCS Stand-Up, Sketch, and Live Comedy. 9 p.m. Blackbird Pub, 305 S. Downing St., Denver.

Clive Davis: The Soundtrack of Our Lives.

5:30 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

ComedySportz. 7:30 p.m. Avenue Theater, 417 E. 17th Ave., Denver.

The Dinner Detective Murder Mystery Dinner Show. 6 p.m. Embassy Suites by Hilton Denver Downtown Convention Center, 1420 Stout St., Denver.

Holiday Lights Tour. 6 p.m. Union Station, Wynkoop and 17th streets, Denver.

Josh Blue. 7:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. Comedy Works, 1226 15th St., Denver.

theater Courtesy of Vintage Theatre

Annie. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder. Through Feb. 24.

Beauty and the Beast. Candlelight Dinner Playhouse. 747 Marketplace Drive, Johnstown. Through Feb. 14.

I’ll Eat You Last: A Chat with Sue Mengers. Vintage Theatre, 1468 Dayton St., Aurora. Dec. 30 and 31 only.

Red. Vintage Theatre, 1468 Dayton St., Aurora. Through Jan. 7.

Resolutions. The Edge Theater Company, 1560 Teller St., Lakewood.

Through Dec. 31.

Siren Song: A Pirate’s Odyssey.

Buntport Theatre, 717 Lipan St., Denver. Through May 14, 2018.

Waitress. Denver Center for the Performing Arts, Buell Theatre, 1101 13th St., Denver. Through Dec. 31.

Lott Of Laughs Drag Show. 8 p.m. Mile High Hamburger Mary’s, 1336 E. 17th Ave., Denver.

The Magic Within, Psychic Explorations with Erica Sodos. 7 p.m. Mercury Cafe, 2199 California St., Denver.

On The Spot: Improv in the Style of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’. 8 p.m. Bovine Metropolis Theater, 1527 Champa St., Denver.

Permanent. 3:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Revolting Rhymes. 2 p.m. Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder.

Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder.

Scrooge: Bah Humbug! 6 p.m. Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main St., Longmont.

Sleightly Impossible: Comedy Magic Show.

4 p.m. Lumber Baron Mystery Mansion, 2555 W. 37th Ave., Denver.

Stand-Up Comedy and Bottomless Margaritas. 8 p.m. Los Tacos Famous Taqueria, 600 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Sunday, December 31 Music A-Mac and The Height — with Tenth Mountain Division (late set), Project 432, Lola Rising. 8 p.m. Cervantes’ Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

Denver NYE Black Tie Party. 8 p.m. Sheraton Denver Downtown Hotel, 1550 Court Place, Denver.

Early Bird Show Special. 6:30 p.m. Walnut Room, 3131 Walnut St., Denver.

Flobots. 8 p.m. Marquis Theatre, 2009 Larimer St., Denver.

Fox Street NYE Extravaganza. 9 p.m. The Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Freddy Jones Band New Year’s Eve Party. 9 p.m.

The Soiled Dove Underground, 7401 E. First Ave., Denver.

Goth-Trad, Truth, & Kaiju (New Year’s Eve). 9 p.m. The Black Box, 314 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

Great Gatsby New Year’s 2018 Party. 8 p.m.

Hotel Boulderado, 2115 13th St., Boulder.

Guilty Pleasures Presents: Y2K 3.0. 9 p.m.

Hi-Dive Denver, 7 S. Broadway, Denver.

Higher Society New Years Eve — with Lee Burridge & Desert Hearts. 8 p.m. Club Vinyl, 1082 Broadway, Denver.

History & Whiskey Tour. 12 a.m. History and Whiskey Tour - LoDo and Five Points Districts, 1701 Wynkoop St., Denver.

Itchy-O. 8 p.m. Summit Music Hall, 1902 Blake St., Denver.

Tony-winner John Logan’s one-character play, I’ll Eat You Last: A Chat with Sue Mengers stars Emma Messenger as Sue Mengers, a self-invented woman in the boys’ club of Hollywood agents. Outshining her contemporaries with her wit and intelligence, she came to represent some of the biggest stars Hollywood, including Barbra Streisand, Steve McQueen, Cher and Burt Reynolds. For one night only, Dec. 30, at Vintage Theatre.

New Year’s Eve: FACE and Sonic Arcade. 8 p.m. The Dickens Tavern and Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont.

New Years Eve — with Arthur Lee Land Trio.

9 p.m. Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons.

Boulder County’s Definitive Guide to

Local Events where music comes to play

SONS OFTHE PIONEERS Sat 01.06 $33 advance SONS & BROTHERS Sat 01.13 $21advance

New Years Eve — with The Delta Sonics.

9 p.m. Oskar Blues Tap Room, 921 Pearl St., Boulder.

New Years on Broadway. 9 p.m. Element Kitchen & Cocktail, 1134 Broadway St., Denver.

A Night In Vienna. 6:30 p.m. Boettcher Concert Hall, 1000 14th St., Denver.

Nuns Of Brixton. 9 p.m. Larimer Lounge, 2721 Larimer St., Denver.

NYE — P-Nuckle. 7 p.m. Herman’s Hideaway, 1578 S. Broadway, Denver.

NYE 2017 — with Drop Logik. 9 p.m. The Black Buzzard at Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 1624 Market St., Denver.

NYE: Pandasaywhat?!, Melody Lines, R-Doo, C.S.O, The Lituation, TMC. 8 p.m. Your Mom’s House, 608 E. 13th Ave., Denver.

DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET Tue 01.16 L2 Church $42 advance THE SECRET SISTERS Thu 01.25 $19 advance

The Polish Ambassador & Friends NYE. 12:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder.

Reno Divorce. 9 p.m. Lost Lake, 3602 E. Colfax Ave., Denver.

Amoramora + Flash Mountain Flood. 8:45 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder.

KBCO Presents: New Years Eve with North Mississippi Allstars. 9 p.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

Anders Osborne — with Andy Sydow. 7:30 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland.

Live Music: Sammy Dee Blues Band. 8:30 p.m. Dannik’s Gunbarrel Corner Bar, 6525 Gunpark Drive, Boulder.

Ben Hammond. 12 a.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder.

Neon New Year’s Eve 2018. 8 p.m. Tavern Downtown, 1949 Market St., Denver.

Texas Hippie Coalition New Years Eve Party. 8 p.m. The Venue, 1451 Cortez St., Denver.

Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Homemade Liquids and Solids, 1555 Hover St., Longmont.

Brunch with El Javi. 10:30 a.m. Ophelia’s Electric Soapbox, 1215 20th St., Denver.

New Orleans Party New Years Eve — with Guerrilla Fanfare. 9 p.m. Oskar Blues Homemade Liquids and Solids, 1555 Hover St., Longmont.

Trevor Hall — with Cas Haley, A-Mac & The Height, Project 432, Lola Rising. 9 p.m.

Cervantes’ and The Other Side, 2637 Welton St., Denver.

Casino Royale New Year’s Eve 2018 Party.

8:30 p.m. Hotel Boulderado, 2115 13th St., Boulder.

New Year’s Eve — with Barrel of Blues. 7:30 p.m. Front Range Brewing Co., 400 W. South Boulder Road, Lafayette.

Ukulele Jam. 2 p.m. Bootstrap Brewing, 142 Pratt St., Longmont.

Chimney Choir. 9:30 p.m. Mercury Cafe, 2199 California St., Denver.

New Year’s Eve — with Otis Taylor Band. 10 p.m. The Post Brewing Company, 2027 13th St., Boulder.

33rd Annual Denver NYE Resolution 5K Run/

Boulder Weekly

www.BoulderCountyEvents.com

events

Slim Cessna’s Auto Club. 9 p.m. Globe Hall, 4483 Logan St., Denver.

The Symbols. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland.

JORMA KAUKONEN:SOLO Mon 02.19 L2 Church $38 advance

see EVENTS Page 30

December 28 , 2017 29

BOULDER WEEKKLY’S CALENDAR OF EVENTS EVENTS from Page 29

All events take place on Sunday, Dec. 31.

BOULDER:

New Year’s Eve at St Julien: A Toast to 2017.

9 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, stjulien.com. Tickets are $90.

New Year’s Eve Dance Party with American Vernacular Dance.

7 p.m. The Avalon, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder. Tickets are $40 advance; $45 door.

The Polish Ambassador Three-Night New Years Run. 8 p.m. Dec. 29-31, Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder. Three-day pass is $90. Single day passes are $30-$35.

Amoramora + Flash Mountain Flood — with Banshee Tree.

8 p.m. Fox Theater, 1135 13th St., Boulder.

Tickets are $15-$20.

License No. 1 New Year’s Eve Party 2018 7 p.m. License No. 1, 2115 13th St., Boulder. Tickets are $45.

The Great Gatsby New Year’s Eve 2018 Party.

8 p.m. Hotel Boulderado Mezzanine, 2115 13th St., Boulder. Tickets are $145.

Casino Royale New Year’s Eve 2018 Party.

Hotel Boulderado Event Center, 2115 13th St., Boulder. Tickets are $75.

MOUNTAIN TOWNS:

New Years’ Eve Dance Party featuring Bonnie and the Clydes — with 300 Days.

7 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Gold Hill.

Tickets are $35.

Anders Osborne — with Andy Sydow.

7:30 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland. Tickets are $50 plus fees.

New Year’s Eve Pary with The Symbols.

10 p.m. 15 E. First St., Nederland.

My Morning Jacket Three-Night NYE Run — with The Revolution, tUnE-yArDs, and Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe.

8 p.m. 1stBank Center, 11450 Broomfield Lane, Broomfield. A one-night pass is $76.

DENVER:

Sixteenth White Rose Gala.

9 p.m. Ellie Caulkins Opera House, Denver Performing Arts Complex, 14th and Champa, Denver.

New Year’s Eve Fireworks in Denver.

Downtown Denver.

9 p.m. Best views along 16th Street Mall.

Denver New Years Eve Black Tie Party.

8 p.m. Sheraton Denver Downtown Hotel, 1550 Court Place, Denver. Tickets are $94-$99.

The Delta Sonics.

9 p.m. Oskar Blues Boulder Taproom, 921 Pearl St., Boulder.

New Year’s Eve with Denver Union Station.

9 p.m. LoDo, 1701 Wynkoop St., Denver.

Pre-Event Tickets: $50 per person ($75 at-thedoor, if available).

Motones vs Jerseys.

6:30 p.m. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder. Tickets are $63.75-$98.

Resolution NYE 2018.

9 p.m. The Curtis Denver, 1405 Curtis St., Denver. Tickets are $89-99.

EAST COUNTY:

Wild New Year’s Dance Party.

7 p.m. The Wild Game Entertainment Experience, 2251 Ken Pratt Blvd., Unit A, Longmont. Tickets are $40.

Bling in the New Year 2018.

8 p.m. Plaza Convention Center, 1850 Industrial Circle, Longmont. Tickets are $40-$65.

FACE and Sonic Arcade 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont. Tickets are $51. VIP tickets are $100.

New Year’s Eve Party at WOW! Children’s Museum 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette. Tickets are $510 per person.

New Year’s Eve — with Milestone.

6 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette. Tickets are $30-$70 per person.

Zoo Year’s Eve. 5:30 p.m. Denver Zoo, 2300 Steele St., Denver.

Tickets are $15 for the general public, age 1264; $10 for children 3-11; $12 for age 65+.

Nahko And Medicine For The People — with The Late Ones, Tubby Love.

9 p.m. 935 E. Colfax Ave., Denver. Tickets are $55.

GOLDEN:

An Evening of Ballroom Elegance — presented by Denver Ballroom Production.

6 p.m. Denver West Marriott, 1717 Denver West Blvd., Golden. Tickets are $125.

MORRISON:

Cervantes’, Feyline, KS 107.5 Present — New Year’s Eve on the Rocks featuring Migos, Post Malone, Young Thug, Lil Yachty, Dizzy Wright, King Green (of RDGLDGRN).

5:10 p.m. Red Rocks Amphitheater, 18300 W. Alameda Parkway, Morrison. Gen. Ad. Tickets are $175. VIP Tickets are $350.

New Year’s Eve: Flappers, Fellas & Fondue.

3:45 p.m. to close. The Melting Pot, 732 Main St., Louisville. $65 per person.

30 December 28 , 2017

Boulder Weekly

WE ARE BOULDER!

Dash Codiga

INDEPENDENT & LOCALLY OWNED SINCE 1993 For advertising information call 303.494.5511 www.BoulderWeekly.com

by Dash Codiga Renga:

The first snowflake falls Bushes wear cozy white hats Winter has arrived.

Remember Autumn’s warm breeze, I’d love to go back there, please.

Haiku: Black wind breaks the sky; Fiery breath is my waking.

A dragon, am I.

Elegy: Before a bird was about to fly, He up and died and said goodbye.

Now up in the heavens he lives today Swooping into the woods where he used to play.

Cinquain: Cloudy Gray skies, fast wind Sleeping, reading, playing Curl into a blanket and dream Dark day

Tyburn: Rumbling Fumbling Grumbling Bumbling Along came a rumbling, fumbling bear Who upset the grumbling, bumbling bee Dash Codiga, an 11-year-old student at Alt Ed Academy and author of Pencil, Paper, Poetry: A How-to-Write-Poetry Coloring Book, hopes to inspire an appreciation for poetry and an interest in writing published works in the minds of middle schoolers everywhere.

Boulder Weekly

Have You Considered Teaching?

Naropa University Launches New BACHELORS DEGREE IN CONTEMPLATIVE ELEMENTARY EDUCATION • Receive a fully accredited professional licensure

JUST GO TO KGNU.ORG DEC 28-30 AND PICK THE LEVEL THAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU AND MAKE YOUR DONATION! YOUR GIFT SUPPORTS THE WORK THAT KGNU DOES ALL YEAR ROUND - AND IT’S TAXDEDUCTIBLE FOR YOU.

88.5FM & 1390AM BOULDER • DENVER 93.7FM NEDERLAND - 98.7FM FORT COLLINS ONLINE AT KGNU.ORG, AFTERFM.COM & NEWS.KGNU.ORG

COLORADO’S PrEmIER ANTIQUE & VINTaGE JEWELRY STORE

• Teach K-6 in public or private schools and earn a Culturally & Linguistically Diverse endorsement • Incorporates mindfulness practices to reduce stress and increase resiliency

Do more than teach.

Inspire.

For more information visit naropa.edu/education

942 Pearl Street Boulder, CO 80302 303.938.8851 Tues. – Sat. 10 to 5:30 December 28 , 2017 31

Saturday & Sunday december 30-31 dual Venue!

treVor Hall

12/30: SatSang, rob drabkin, tHe copper cHildren & intuit 12/31: caS Haley, a-mac & tHe HeigHt, project 432 & lola riSing

Friday & Saturday january 5-6

bluegraSS generalS

Feat cHriS pandolFi & andy Hall (tHe inFamouS StringduSterS), Sam buSH, keitH moSeley (Sci) & larry keel w/ tHe Swat team 1/5: meadow mountain, watermelon Funk & jaden carlSon band 1/6: grant Farm, caSey ruSSell & tHe Soul SHack & enVy alo

tHurSday december 21 graSS For tHat aSS preSentS

jay roemer band

Feat daVe carroll (trampled by turtleS), dan andree, jarett maSon, caSey cormier w/ tHin air – pickin’ on wideSpread panic (late Set), SHawn nelSon & legal tender

Friday december 22

diSco Floyd

w/ pHour point o & SoundS traVelS

wedneSday december 27 re: SearcH

Feat daily bread & toy box w/ kruSHendo, mikey tHunder & jubee tHurSday december 28 graSS For tHat aSS preSentS

tHe new maSterSoundS

bonFire dub w/ lil SkoopS (late Set) & Steepland String band

& cHriStie cHamberS)

w/ tHe dirty gemStoneS, pHloetHik & looney ando

tHurSday & Friday january 11-12 cerVanteS’ 15tH anniVerSary celebration

1/11: tHe runnikine 1/12: Space orpHan Feat tHe SiSterS oF Soul (kim dawSon, tanya SHylock

Saturday january 13

octaVe cat

Feat jeSSe miller (lotuS), eli winderman (dopapod), cHarlie patierno & big brazilian cHeeSe Feat micHael kang (Sci), dominic lali (big gigantic), aaron joHnSton & jeSSe murpHy (brazilian girlS)

Friday january 19

jameS brown dance party

Feat memberS oF jameS brown’S band, big gigantic, tHe dap kingS, talib kweli, joHn legend, lauryn Hill, odeSza, pretty ligHtS, bootSy collinS, Snarky puppy & denVer’S micHael jackSon all StarS

Saturday january 20

baSS pHySicS & exmag tHurSday january 25

Summer camp on tHe road Friday january 26

jeFF auStin band Saturday january 27

tHe Funk HunterS

Friday december 29

Fort knox FiVe re: SearcH

Feat jubee liVe band w/ telemetry, unexotic & mikey tHunder tHurSday january 4 graSS For tHat aSS preSentS

tHunder & rain w/ lineage & piStolS in petticoatS Friday & Saturday january 5-6

tHe Swat team

Feat SteVe watkinS (allen Stone/juno wHat), adam deitcH (lettuce/break Science), garrett SayerS (tHe motet) & dan ScHwindt (kyle HollingSwortH band) 1/5: watermelon Funk & jaden carlSon band 1/6: caSey ruSSell & tHe Soul SHack Feat jeFF Franca & enVy alo

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by Michael J. Casey

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‘COLD OR NOT, GOD IS PRESENT’ I think about the shoes.

I think about the shoes; 60 of them, lined along the east bank of the Danube River in Budapest, Hungary. They don’t belong to anyone in particular, and they’re not real shoes, either. They’re rusted iron totems, sober reminders of how cold the world can be.

“Shoes on the Danube Bank” was conceived by Hungarian film director Can Togay and sculpted by Gyula Pauer to memorialize the Jewish men, women and children who were executed here by the Arrow Cross militiamen during the Second World War. Formed in 1939 in Hungary, alongside another bunch of fascist hooligans to the northwest, the Arrow Cross party was an efficient bunch — murdering anywhere from 10,000 to 15,000 and deporting roughly 80,000 more to Austrian concentration camps — all before their defeat in 1945. Murder on that level makes the mind reel.

“Shoes on the Danube Bank” is not a large memorial, maybe 100 feet or so, and if it weren’t pointed out by our guide, few on the tour bus would have noticed the shoes glinting in the midday sun. As the story goes: Men, women and children were lined up along the bank of the Danube, told to step out of their shoes, strip naked and face the water. They were then shot at close range so their bodies tumbled into the Danube and floated out of sight. I guess the Arrow Cross couldn’t be bothered to dig a mass grave. The tourists on the bus gave an appropriate groan of disgust, to which the guide solemnly nodded. And then, before you could think a thought, the driver’s foot was back on the gas and we were off to lunch.

I would suspect that, for most of the tourists, the second we left the shoes, the shoes left them. Holocaust memorials in Eastern Europe aren’t exactly rare, and few pay this much money to come and feel sad about the past. Nevertheless, the shoes stayed with me. I could think of little else.

I thought about what they might’ve thought about, standing there naked and cold. What does one think about in those final moments?

I thought about the optimists, the ones who tried to obey every order, no matter how humiliating and ridiculous, in hopes of being spared.

I thought about the fatalists, those who knew what was about to happen and simply resigned. I’ve heard of “suicide by cop;” was there such a thing as “suicide by Gestapo”?

I thought about the children and secretly hoped they had been shot first and spared the horror of listening to what was happening right next to them.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the shoes. Prior to this trip, my Boulder Weekly

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family had gone through a tragedy of sorts, one that caused me to stuff my carryon with anger, sadness and disappointment. Now, all that emotional baggage seemed minuscule compared to those shoes. How dare I carry on a personal pity party in the presence of real pain and suffering? But, as I have learned time and time again, the pain of another does little to alleviate the pain within. All it does is create despair.

Thankfully, I needn’t have despaired long for the very antidote I sought was contained in the novel I’d brought along. In it, a character recounts the story of Carl Jung, the famed Swiss psychologist, building Bollingen Tower. After his mother’s death in 1922, Jung bought a small parcel of land in Bollingen along the banks of Lake Zürich. Jung lived nearby, in a residential part of the area, but felt he needed a special secluded place to himself where he could go and work out bigger things. On this plot of land, Jung built a small tower, stone by stone, laying each one with his own hands. After his wife died in 1955, Jung added a second story to the tower. Initially, the tower was modeled after the huts Jung saw on a visit to Africa, open and simple, but as time went on, Jung found the need to add partitions and decorations.

Nowadays, Jungian scholars consider Bollingen Tower a three-dimensional mandala, and inside this mandala, that Jung built with his own hands after losing his mother and wife, exists a stone with a hand-chiseled inscription: “Cold or not, God is present.”

Bollingen Tower is not open to the public, so even if I did fly to Zürich, I couldn’t verify that the inscription exists — though I do suspect the author was making a play on the phrase, “Called or not, God is present.” But the more I thought about it, the more “cold” seemed to fit. I’m sure it was cold in that drafty tower, probably a lot colder after Jung’s wife died. I’m sure it was cold standing naked along the banks of the Danube, probably a lot colder once they heard the crack of the gun and knew exactly what was happening. Cold or not, God is present.

It’s an awfully cold world out there, and a damn tough one to rationalize.

Abominable phrases like, “He works in mysterious ways,” have always sounded like apathetic shrugs to me. Real “How the hell should I know?” admissions. But not this. This was something different, something that’ll stick to my ribs no matter how cold it gets: 60 iron shoes along the bank of the Danube and six words from a novel.

I’ll never forget those shoes.

Boulder Weekly

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Four courses to try in and around Boulder County this week

menu THE TASTING

Biscuits and gravy

Photos by staff

Parkway Cafe, 4700 Pearl St., Boulder, www.boulderbreakfast.com

W

Tilapia bowl with pao de queijo

e like biscuits and gravy. Warm, filling, simple. There’s no better measure of a breakfast joint than the quality of its most traditional offerings, like biscuits and gravy. At Parkway Cafe you get two buttermilk biscuits split open and smothered in creamy sausage gravy. A fork needs only the slightest force to break through the light and crispy crust of the biscuit to find the spongy center. The buttery flavor of the biscuits is the perfect foil to the subtle tang of the sausage gravy. $6.

Five on Black, 1805 29th St., Suite 1138, Boulder, www.fiveonblack.com

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here’s almost too much to say about all of the flavors packed into the Brazilian chain Five on Black’s take on fast casual dining. Served over a bed of lettuce and brown rice, the tilapia is lightly marinated with lemon and oil, then basket-rotisseriecooked so that it melts in your mouth. We chose the coconut-roasted sweet potatoes and steamed collard greens as a side, but the black beans also suit the dish. The entire bowl is amply covered in the slowly simmered spicy coconut sauce that adds just the right amount of kick. And don’t forget to ask for a sprinkling of cilantro, lime and traditional farofa, ground manioc flour that adds a bit of a salty, smoky flavor to balance out the spice. Add a couple pao de queijo, or Brazilian cheese breads, to round out the meal. Made from tapioca flour and cheese, these gluten-free chewy breads are a staple of Brazilian cuisine. $6.95.

French macarons

Bittersweet Cafe & Confections, 836 Main St., Louisville, bittersweetcafe.net f you’re going to make a case full of out-ofthis-world macarons, you’ve gotta get up with the rooster, and that’s just what the folks at Bittersweet do each day. Macarons are notoriously difficult to make, but Bittersweet makes this look like child’s play with its rainbow assortment of perfectly crafted meringue-based confections. These treats are light just beneath the crust, with just the right amount of chew — soft, not mushy. The sweetness is balanced so that the actual flavor — be it peppermint, raspberry, pumpkin spice or one of the other six or so daily flavors — can really shine through. We found it impossible to pick a single flavor, and what’s the fun in bringing home just one when you can bring home a palette of beautiful colors and flavors? $2 each.

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Raspberry gallette

Caffe Sole, 637 S. Broadway St., Boulder, caffesole.com alettes offer a baker plenty of room to play — they’re created freeform, with dough folded over on itself to make something that’s a bit like the lovechild of a crusty cake and a pie. Caffe Sole offers a variety of delicious fruit galettes baked fresh each day. The folded edges of the pastry are just thick enough to hold in the fruit filling — we chose raspberry, but peach and blueberry are options as well — giving the treat a pleasant crunch with every bite. A light coat of butter gives the crust the perfect brown color, and some sugar sprinkled on top adds some visual appeal and extra crunch. Don’t be afraid to get messy — these bad boys are meant to ooze a little. $7

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Susan France

nibbles

BY JOHN LEHNDORFF

ADIEU AND BONJOUR A 2017 ROLL CALL OF THE BOULDER COUNTY EATERIES NEW, COMING AND GONE Above: Chef, Jeb Breakell prepares a pavlova at Emmerson Restaurant in Boulder.

WHEN ONE RESTAURANT closes its

doors, a new restaurant opens up in its place. That’s the way it’s been in Boulder County for decades, and few eateries ever celebrate a decade in business.

The year 2017 saw some legendary restaurants fade from the scene including the original Old Chicago, Conor O’Neill’s, Turley’s, Walnut Brewery, the Sundance Cafe and the 98-year-old Blue Parrot in Louisville. At the same time Boulder welcomed a wealth of new eating spots, ranging from Emmerson and Bar Taco to the French Quarter Brasserie and Le French Café.

A slew of newcomers wait in the wings for 2018 including Chimera, Vero Italian and Coabana Cuban Restaurant, not to mention the new Shine. Here’s the full breakdown for the county.

BOULDER • CU students mourned when Boulder’s only Denny’s closed at 2905 Baseline Road.

• The original location of Old Chicago closed after 40 years at 1102 Pearl St. • Aji Latin American Restaurant closed after 12 years at 1601 Pearl St.

Boulder Weekly

• Conor O’Neill’s closed after 18 years of beers and jigs at 1922 13th St. (formerly The James Pub).

• Beau Jo’s Pizza closed at 2690 Baseline Road, former site of Two Bitts Bistro. Beau Jo’s had previously been open on the Hill and at the now deceased Crossroads Mall.

• Turley’s Kitchen has closed, ending a saga launched in 1977 when the Good Earth Restaurant opened at 17th and Pearl.

• Sushi Tora closed at 2014 10th St. Coming soon: Chimera, an Asian-influenced eatery from Edwin Zoe and his mom (of Zoe Ma Ma fame).

• Bar Taco opened at 1048 Pearl St., former home of the Daily Camera lunch room.

• Emmerson opened at 1600 Pearl St., former home of LYFE Kitchen and the Gondolier.

• McDevitt Taco Supply opened at 4800 Baseline Road.

• Woodgrain Bagels is open at 2525 Arapahoe Ave., serving Montreal-style wood fire baked bagels. The site formerly housed Cuba Cuba Sandwicheria.

• The Cellar West Artisan Ales opened a tasting room see NIBBLES Page 38

December 28 , 2017 37

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for its Belgian farmhouse-style beers at 1001 Lee Hill Drive.

• Boulder Pho opened at 2855 28th St., once home to Thai Kitchen and Jimmy and Drew’s 28th Street Deli.

• French Quarter Brasserie & Oyster Bar opened at 1207 Pearl St., former site of Woody Creek Bakery, Paradise Bakery and Potter’s.

• The Full Cycle bicycle shop, 1795 Pearl St., opened an in-store bar serving beer, wine and espresso.

• The Walnut Brewery closed at 1123 Walnut St. Boulder Beer soon after opened a taproom/eatery in the space.

• Roxie’s Tacos opened at 1135 Broadway serving tortilla-wrapped Indian fillings including vegan chana masala.

• Pizzeria Da Lupo, 2525 Arapahoe Ave., is being remodeled into Vero Italian, a pizza trattoria from Denver chef Andrea Frizzi, owner of Il Posto.

• Capitol One Cafe opened at 1247 Pearl St. in the former Boulder Café location serving free WiFi, espresso and banking services.

• Decadent Saint, producer of winebased mixers used for sangria and craft cocktails, opened at 1501 Lee Hill Road.

• Oskar Blues opened its first Boulder taproom in the former World of Beer/Bacaro space at 921 Pearl St. • Shine Restaurant and Gathering Place closed at 2027 13th St. The Post Brewing Company opened in the space, which was also formerly home to Boulder Draft House and Redfish.

Shine will reopen in the former Volta Restaurant space at 2480 Canyon Blvd.

• Hosea Rosenberg of Blackbelly opened Santo, serving Taos fare at 1265 Alpine Ave., formerly Scotts on Alpine, Ella, Radda and Masa Grill.

• Le French Café opened at 2525 Arapahoe Ave. NIWOT • Lucky Pie Pizza and Tap House opened at 7916 Niwot Road.

• A fire damaged the kitchen at Colterra Food & Wine, 210 Franklin St. No reopening date has been set.

LOUISVILLE • Madera Grill closed at 817 Main St. in Louisville. An expanded Waterloo restaurant reopened in the space.

• La Revolución Taqueria y Cantina closed at 701 Main St. Opening soon: Coabana Cuban Restaurant • The 98-year-old Blue Parrot Restaurant closed at 640 Main St. Coming soon: a second location for Boulder’s Verde Restaurant.

• The Biscuit Bary opened at 579 E. South Boulder Road near Alfalfa’s Market.

• The Moe’s Broadway Bagels empire has expanded with a new shop

in the Table Mesa Shopping Center and in Louisville at 1057 Courtesy Road next to a new Vic’s Coffee.

• Boulder’s Organic Sandwich Company opened a second shop at 459 S. McCaslin Blvd., formerly Blue Box Doughnuts.

LAFAYETTE • Boulder’s Fate Ale House opened a second brewery restaurant at 400 W. South Boulder Road.

• Endo’s Brewing Co. 2755 Dagny Way serving craft beer and bicycle repairs.

• Ras Kassa’s Ethiopian Restaurant opened at 802 S. Public Road • U-Turn BBQ and Brewery opened at 599 Crossing Drive.

• Chocolaterie Stam opened its first Colorado location at 103 S. Public Road.

• Denver’s Stem Ciders will open the new 200-seat Acreage Restaurant at 1380 Horizon Ave. featuring wood-fire cuisine from chefs Daniel Asher and Kelly Whitaker.

• Apeizza E Vino closed at 300 S. Public Road. Coming soon: a second location for chef Alec Schuler’s Tangerine.

LONGMONT • Beau Jo’s Pizza opened at 2033 Ken Pratt Blvd.

• Old World Pizzeria opened at 613 Frontage Road next to the Bavarian Bakery.

• The 28,000-square-foot Wild Game Entertainment Experience opened at 2251 Ken Pratt Blvd.

• Othermama’s Bakery opened at 237 Collyer St. • The Longmont Public House opened at 1111 Francis St. • Boulder’s Gondolier Italian Eatery opened a second location at 1217 S. Main St. • The latest location for Boulder’s Kitchen Next Door opened at 1232 S. Hover St. ELSEWHERE • Veteran restaurateur Kevin Taylor and his chef son, Ryan Taylor, opened Hickory & Ash near the 1stBank Center in Broomfield.

• Nederland’s Sundance Café closed after 19 years in business.

• Farmer Girl Restaurant closed at 432 Main St. in Lyons.

• The Rocky Flats Lounge south of Boulder is rumored to be reopening in 2018 for fish fry nights and Packers games.

What did we miss? nibbles@boulderweekly.com John Lehndorff hosts Radio Nibbles 8:25 a.m. Thursdays on KGNU (88.5 FM, 1390 AM, kgnu.org).

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Matt Cortina

FAMILY RECIPE

by Matt Cortina Growing up, there was no greater treat in our family than a rainbow cookie from my Uncle Dom’s bakery. It was a half-dollar-sized sugar cookie in red, white and green tie-dye coloring, with soft edges and a hint of lemon and vanilla. Once I had a kid of my own, I thought he’d appreciate the cookie as much as I had.

Problem: The bakery’s closed.

Problem: My 80-year-old, blind Uncle Dom won’t respond to my Facebook chat requests.

Problem: I suck at baking.

Boulder Weekly

If I wanted my son to taste the cookie as I had tasted it, I’d have to reconcile at least one of those issues. He wasn’t going to get the whole experience of my uncle coming out from the kitchen in sweatpants and a white v-neck and handing a white paper bag of four or five cookies over the counter with a remark in scratchy Italian-American English of how tall we all were getting, sure. But I could wear a white shirt and sweats. I could tell my kid he’s getting big.

I could learn to make the cookies.

So about a year ago, I made a batch of sugar cookies from a recipe I found online. Rather, I tried to make a batch of sugar cookies from a recipe I found online. What I really made were chalky balls that tasted like shit.

Realizing I was in over my head, I thought it wise to contact members of the extended family to see if any of them had the recipe. However, half the family is blacklisted by the other half due to past indiscretions that range from snubbed parts in impromptu holiday plays to poor seat placements at wedding receptions to stolen baby names — episodes which were mostly misunderstandings but underscored deeper issues and so compounded and grew into very real and very ugly schisms and accusations of betrayal and many irreparably hurt feelings.

Of course, as a kid I didn’t know everything that

went on, but these battles became mythologized over time, and it’s clear now that both sides revised history and attached motives to bolster their own fortress walls. Whatever was the final straw, and I don’t have a clue what it was or if there ever was one, I’m glad it happened before Trump.

So, yeah, I started with the family members with which we’re still on speaking terms. One aunt said, “No, but give it to me when you have it.” My cousin had worked in a bakery, but he didn’t know it. I was told another relative had the whole recipe book from the bakery, but that he sold it for drugs. Now, I didn’t take a super semester at the Rutgers University School of Communication, Information and Library Sciences just to be so naive as to believe there was only one copy of the recipe and that it was on paper and that he gave it away without making a duplicate, or that this was a Lifetime Movie Network movie wherein cookie recipes go for hundreds of dollars on the street. Alas, he didn’t have it either after all, but there’s no way he sold it; there’s that family folklore again.

Now my great aunt, my Uncle Dom’s wife, of course had the recipe and said she would be happy to send it, but it’s been a year and still no recipe despite multiple requests. She did send a tin of other cookies see RECIPE Page 42

December 28 , 2017 41

One Thousand Nights at Sole One Thousand– Nights at Sole – The Deborah Stafford Swingtet Friday Night 12/29

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42 December 28 , 2017

RECIPE from Page 41

last Christmas, but no recipe, which is like getting a fish when you asked for fishing lessons.

As for Uncle Dom’s kids and grandkids, who would have had the best shot of being bequeathed the recipe, the last and only time I saw all of them was at a family reunion in Mystic when I was 8 and we all got a parasite from the water.

Discouraged but undeterred (and long cured of the parasite), I tried to bake again. Over the course of several months and three dozen or so batches, I made cookie soup, cookie brittle, cookie pancakes, cookie rocks, cookie bread and, finally, something that could objectively be identified as a cookie. I learned to cream butter and sugar. And to do that first. Basic shit. I learned how egg affects consistency. I learned how different baking sheets affect coloring. I learned how sugars and fats transform in the oven.

And yet, I wasn’t close to reproducing Uncle Dom’s rainbow cookies. I began to think I couldn’t replicate something as sentimental as a cookie I ate when I was a child; that the exercise was doomed from the start. I thought my son really wouldn’t be able to taste the cookie as I had tasted it.

But, I was wrong.

See, I was telling my dad about my failed attempts and he said he remembered the bakery used a lot of Crisco. (Like, a lot of it.) That was news, but so was the fact that my dad worked in the bakery. “I didn’t really,” he said. He worked in it when it was his dad’s. But I hadn’t realized my grandfather, who passed away when my dad was 10, owned the bakery. Or, that he taught Uncle Dom how to bake, and gave him all the recipes. Or, that there were 25 other bakeries from Bridgeport to Rhode Island that my grand-relatives and great-grand-relatives owned and used as the proof of employment required to sponsor their kin to emigrate from Southern Italy.

I didn’t know how deeply baking was ingrained into my family’s story. My mom once, unprompted, told me, “Baking is a tough life, you don’t want to get into it.” I had never once mentioned baking as a career path so I didn’t know why she said it.

But it made sense after talking to my dad. I learned that years of lifting hundredpound bags of flour in the bakery bulged a disc in my grandfather’s back and put him on an operating table. And that the anesthesia he was given caused a reaction that killed him. And that my family — siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and all — shares not only a common allergy to that anesthesia, but also the burden of coping with his absence.

I didn’t know any of that before I named my son after him. I just knew my dad looked like him, and that I looked like my dad, and that my son might look like me.

Come to think of it, the final straw for our family may have been when my grandmother eventually passed away. You can’t underestimate what a woman who raised six young children on her own means to a family, even decades later. You take the egg out of the dough, and with nothing to bind it, it never quite comes together.

Alas, I was no closer to getting the cookie right. Crisco, as is so often the case with hydrogenated oils, didn’t solve all my problems.

I tried a few variations over the following months, sometimes getting close, but never too close. Then I saw on Facebook that an aunt I’m “friends” with liked the photo of a cousin with whom I’m friendly, who was making cookies at another aunt’s house, who may or may not be on the blacklist. The photo was of a table full of red, white and green rainbow cookies.

I knew the table; we used to spend Thanksgivings there. And I liked that aunt and uncle, a lot actually. They brought me to basketball camp and put Gold Bond powder in my sneakers and gave me a book signed by Carl Yastrzemski. But, because of the times, I didn’t know if I was going to stir shit in the family pot by asking for the recipe.

Of course I did; ask for the recipe, that is. And my aunt gave it to me.

Margarine and butter, not Crisco. But a lot of it. Mix the other ingredients, and then knead the flour into it, like my grandfather did in batches 10 times as large, until your hands start to hurt. Cut the dough in three, add color to two and swirl to create one log. Roll, chill, then bake.

But stir the pot? No. In fact, my aunt told me she was glad to hear from me.

She said everyone’s healthy, and her youngest, my cousin, was on leave from the military for just a few days. She said if I ever stumble upon Uncle Dom’s chocolate chip cookie recipe, I should pass it on to her. And she asked to see a picture of my son when I had the chance to send one.

I baked the recipe. It was them alright. I put them in a box, and when my son woke up the next morning, I gave him a cookie. He bit in, and grinned, and I took a photo and sent it to my aunt.

She said he looked like me.

Boulder Weekly

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eople think hops,” JoAnne CarilliStevenson, White Labs’ global key account manager, tells Boulder Weekly. “Whenever they think beer they think hops. Very few people actually think yeast.”

“Yeast is not the last-minute addition to the brewing process,” Shawn Donahue, White Labs’ tasting room assistant, adds. “I always tell people: Brewers make wort, yeast makes beer.”

Making beer is a rather simple process: malted grains are mixed with hot water, converting the starches from the grains into a sugary liquid mixture called “wort.”

Hops can be added, or not, to proWhite Labs bartender Shawn vide flavor and aroma, but it’s still Donahue pours a not beer. Yeast needs to be added, beer flight. or “pitched,” to use brewing terminology. Yeast gobbles up the sugars and produces alcohol and carbon dioxjust the flavor profile you’d expect from ide. This is called fermentation, and a Belgian beer. fermentation is where White Labs These two are just the tip of the comes in. proverbial iceberg. White Labs offers Started in 1995 in San Diego, two Frankenbeers, beers Donahue California, White Labs Pure Yeast & describes with great relish.

Fermentation stands at the intersection “FrankenStout and a FrankenIPA; of science, education and for both of those we took craft. Now with production the 96 core strains and facilities in San Diego, then just threw them all in ON TAP: White Labs Pure Yeast & Copenhagen, and one beer,” Donahue Fermentation Asheville, North Carolina, explains. “It comes out dif1898 S. Flatiron Court, White Labs produces ferent every time. Certain Suite 213, Boulder. whitelabs.com unique yeast strains for strands will take over and commercial and homethe balance shifts from keg brewers across 75 countries. to keg, even as you’re “On any given week drinking it.” [we] might be producing 100-150 difThose constantly shifting balances, ferent strains,” Carilli-Stevenson says. which continue to develop as the beer But White Labs isn’t just a compais allowed to warm in the glass, are part ny for brewers; they’re also dedicated to and parcel of White Labs’ liquid yeast. educating beer drinkers on what yeast For the brewing process, yeast can adds to the beer they’re drinking. That’s either be dried or liquid, but if you the goal behind White Labs’ Boulder want the most bang for your buck, liqtaproom, which offers customers a uid is the way to go. chance to sample and compare different “Liquid yeast has 300 different ester yeast strains used in base beer styles. flavor profiles,” Carilli-Stevenson Take White Labs’ Oat India Pale explains. “So, dried yeast, there are only Ale, either with the California Ale V a few strains that have been successfully Yeast (WLP051) or the Antwerp Ale dried and work very well in the brewYeast (WLP515). The former ferments ing process. ... I think you have a varithe beer clean and produces a fruity ety of 10 to 12. And in liquid yeast, aroma, like you would expect from an [it’s] basically infinite.”

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EEDBETWEENTHELINES

— Part II

by Sarah Haas

Immigrants: Your social media can and will be used against you

L

ast week’s column looked at the Department of Homeland Security’s increased use of social media surveillance on immigrants, including naturalized citizens, and at a new policy that allows the DHS to include an immigrant’s internet activity in their official immigration record and use it as evidence for deportation cases.

Here in Colorado the new tactic highlights the conflict between state and federal drug law; while immigrants living here can legally possess, buy and distribute marijuana (as an employee of a marijuana busi- Sarah Haas ness), the activity remains a federal crime. Social media evidence of such “illegal activity” is now being used as grounds for deportation.

By invoking the precedence of federal marijuana prohibition above state-level legalization, the Trump administration is exercising its federal powers to undermine the constitutional protections Amendment 64 intended to provide. Yes, the feds have been resistant in other areas as well, by not allowing marijuana businesses access to banking services, for example. These instances are akin to a parent turning the other cheek when they see a kid breaking a rule, avoiding complicity but not willing to intervene.

But in using federal marijuana law to deport people from the United States while simultaneously allowing the legal industry to survive, the feds are engaging in a double standard that exposes the intentional application of the war on drugs as a tool of oppression.

For over a century, prohibition policies have been used to target people of color and immigrants. Sadly, despite the progress of legalization at the state level, the inherent harms of federal prohibition continue to abuse individuals and communities and threaten the premise of equal rights.

Art Way, senior director for Drug Policy

Boulder Weekly

Alliance’s National Justice Reform Strategy and state director for DPA’s Colorado office, points to the correlation between periods of high anti-immigrant sentiment and increases in drug-related deportations.

The trend, he says, shows how the history of drug policy has always been a way to maintain social and racial hierarchy within society — that it’s always had a “racist tint,” (although it’s arguably more of a three-coat paint job).

“U.S. drug policy has always been a way for those in power to be able to put their proverbial hands on certain groups of people — on African Americans transitioning from sharecropping into society, on the Chinese transitioning from the railroad into society, on the Mexicans and Central Americans migrating into the midwest [at the turn of the century],” Way says.

He explains prohibitions as a systematic means of oppression — when it came to African Americans in the South, we saw the first cocaine prohibitions; with the Chinese, the first opium prohibitions; and with the Mexicans and Central Americans, border states implemented the first marijuana prohibitions.

We saw it again in the 1980s when Reagan instituted the “War on Drugs” amid rising anti-immigrant sentiments, with the resulting international prohibitions justifying a U.S. military presence in countries all over the world. And most recently, beginning in the late aughts with “immigration now” politics that bleed into today, drug-related deportations are again on the rise.

According to DHS statistics, from 2007 to 2012, there was a 22 percent increase in drug-related deportations. There was a 43 percent increase in marijuana possession deportations. That this coincided, roughly, with the first four years of legal recreational marijuana in the U.S., a time when the legitimacy of prohibition

and purported dangers of marijuana were being questioned like never before, hints at the government’s ulterior motives.

“People tend to think that federal prohibition is about their concern for health and addiction and public safety, but historically it has been more about how to demonize a certain group of people,” Way says.

“Being that they can’t just make it illegal to be African American or Chinese or Latino, they have to get creative, to try to affiliate these groups with a certain drug in order to maintain and keep an eye on them and limit their mobility.

“To me there is no doubt that ICE ... has been really using drug policy to reach the deportation numbers and their quotas and so forth [since the drug war took off in the ’80s].”

As for what can be done about it, Way looks to forthcoming litigation efforts that will inevitably challenge the DHS’s use of social media surveillance, as a policy that contradicts the Fourth Amendment, which promises “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated…”

But in the the meantime, he applauds the efforts of the marijuana industry to educate immigrants about the risks of partaking in legal cannabis markets, saying “it’s exactly the kind of advocacy we like to see from the industry.

“We would hate to see the marijuana industry become another, typical industry that really does not engage in social justice because, basically, it was the criminal justice reform community and medical marijuana providers who put their money where their mouths were, fighting to create this industry,” Way says. “Since they are born out of social justice advocacy, we think that holds them to a higher standard.

“But it’s not like they don’t have enough to worry about, living in the gray area like they do,” he adds.

“Although, I guess you should say the same for immigrants, especially the undocumented community. These are two groups that find themselves in a very vulnerable position.”

December 28 , 2017 49

cannabis corner

by Paul Danish

Three dot pot shots: ‘Real soon now’ edition

L

egal marijuana sales begin in California next Monday ( Jan 1, 2018), and they’re gonna’ be huge — Real Soon Now. Cali’s roll-out will be a lot like Colorado’s — just a few dispensaries open in a few places: Oakland, Santa Cruz, San Diego, Shasta Lake… San Francisco’s first licenses will be issued Real Soon Now (days); L.A.’s will be issued Real Soon Now (weeks)…

ture convenes on January 3, Vermont will be the first state to legalize marijuana by legislative action…

• • • • New Jersey will likely be the second. Incoming Democratic Governor Phil Murphy campaigned on marijuana legalization, and his allies in the state legislature are ready to introduce a legalization bill nano-sec-

• • • • Massachusetts, whose voters opted for legal marijuana at the same time as California’s, is on track to see legal sales start Real Soon Now ( July 1, 2018). The state’s newly-created Marijuana Control Commission finished its draft regulations right before Christmas…

• • • • Vermont is on track to legalize pot Real Soon Now (days or weeks). Last spring Vermont lawmakers passed a legalization bill that Governor Phil Scott vetoed, citing concerns about stoned driving and the children. Then last summer the State Senate passed a modified version of the bill that he’s cool with and has promised to sign… if the State House votes for the Senatepassed bill shortly after the legisla-

Boulder Weekly

onds after out-going drug war deadender Governor Chris Christie leaves office. The bill’s state senate sponsor says he wants to get it to the Governor’s desk Real Soon Now (within the first 100 days)…

• • • • Meanwhile over in New York, three State Assembly committees (Codes, Health, and Alcoholism and

Drug Abuse) will hold a joint session (could there have been any other kind) Real Soon Now ( January 11) on “the potential for allowing regulated sale and adult possession of marijuana in New York and how it would affect the public health and criminal justice systems… Chances are New York lawmakers noticed that legal marijuana sales had the support of 62 percent of New Yorkers in a recent poll, and an election was coming up Real Soon Now (November) in which marijuana arrests are expected to be an issue…

• • • • Speaking of elections, Oklahoma voters will be voting on medical marijuana legalization Real Soon Now ( June, or November at the latest). Activists collected enough signatures to put the issue on the ballot last year, but wrangling over the ballot title kept it from being voted on in 2016…

Republican Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin will decide Real Soon Now whether the vote will take place in the June primary election or the November general election…

• • • • Backers of a Michigan initiative to legalize recreational marijuana expect to hear from state election officials Real Soon Now as to whether they turned in enough valid signatures to get their proposal on the November ballot. The group turned in 365, 000 signatures on November 22; it needs 252,000 valid ones… state election officials said they would need a couple of months to check the signatures… If the petitioners have enough signatures, the Michigan legislature will have 40 days to adopt the measure (fat chance) or it would be put on the ballot…

• • • • The legalization movement may have gotten a big boost from an unexpected quarter — the recently passed tax-reform law — that will become evident with a vengeance Real Soon Now. The law caps the maximum combined amount of state and local income, sales, and property taxes that can be deducted from a tax-payers federal income taxes at $10,000. That means that a number of revenue-strapped states are going to be looking for new revenue sources that do not involve raising income, sales, and property taxes — like legalizing recreational marijuana and taxing it… Connecticut, Illinois, Rhode Island, Delaware, and New York all fall into this category and bills to legalize marijuana and tax it like alcohol are expected to be introduced in their legislatures. Real Soon Now.

December 28 , 2017 51

astrology Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: “I need more smart allies, compas-

sionate supporters, ethical role models, and loyal friends, and I need them right now!” writes Joanna K., an Aries reader from Albuquerque, New Mexico. On the other hand, there’s Jacques T., an Aries reader from Montreal. “To my amazement, I actually have much of the support and assistance I need,” he declares. “What I seem to need more of are constructive critics,

fair-minded competitors with integrity, colleagues and loved ones who don’t assume that every little thing I do is perfect, and adversaries who galvanize me to get better.” I’m happy to announce, dear Aries, that in 2018 you will benefit more than usual from the influences that both Joanna and Jacques seek.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: In the Scots language spoken in Lowland Scotland, a watergaw is a fragmented rainbow that appears between clouds. A skafer is a faint rainbow that arises behind a mist, presaging the imminent dissipation of the mist. A silk napkin is a splintered rainbow that heralds the arrival of brisk wind and rain. In accordance with the astrological omens, I propose we use these mysterious phenomena as symbols of power for you in 2018. The good fortune that comes your way will sometimes be partially veiled and seemingly incomplete. Don’t compare it to some “perfect” ideal.

It’ll be more interesting and inspiring than any perfect ideal.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20: In 2018, half-buried residues from the past

will be resurfacing as influences in your life. Old dreams that you abandoned prematurely are ripe to be re-evaluated in light of what has happened since you last took them seriously. Are these good or bad developments? It will probably depend on your ability to be charitable and expansive as you deal with them. One thing is certain: To move forward into the future, you will have to update your relationships with these residues and dreams.

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22: Poet Diane Ackerman tells us that human

tongues, lips and genitals possess neural receptors that are ultraresponsive. Anatomists have given unsexy names to these blissgenerating parts of our bodies: Krause end bulbs, also known as bulboid corpuscles. (Couldn’t they have called them “glimmering rapture hubs” or “magic buttons”?) In any case, these sweet spots enable us to experience surpassing pleasure. According to my understanding of the astrological omens for 2018, Cancerian, your personal complement of bulboid corpuscles will be even more sensitive than usual. Here’s further good news: Your soul will also have a heightened capacity to receive and register delight.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22: Mise en place is a French term whose

literal translation is “putting in place.” When used by professional chefs in a restaurant kitchen, it refers to the task of gathering and organizing all the ingredients and tools before beginning to cook. I think this is an excellent metaphor for you to emphasize throughout 2018. In every area of your life, thorough preparation will be the key to your success and fulfillment. Make sure you have everything you need before launching any new enterprise or creative effort.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: Experimental composer Harry Partch

played one-of-a-kind musical instruments that he made from objects like car hubcaps, gourds, aluminum ketchup bottles and nose cones from airplanes. Collage artist Jason Mecier fashions portraits of celebrities using materials like noodles, pills, licorice candy, bacon and lipstick tubes. Given the astrological configurations for 2018, you could flourish by adopting a similar strategy in your own chosen field. Your most interesting successes could come from using things as they’re not “supposed” to be used. You could further your goals by mixing and matching resources in unique ways.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: I wish I could make it nice and easy

for you. I wish I could proclaim that the forces of darkness are lined up against the forces of light. I’d like to be able to advise you that the opening months of 2018 will bring you a showdown between wrong and right, between ugliness and beauty. But it just ain’t that simple. It’s more like the forces of plaid will be arrayed against the forces of paisley.

The showdown will feature two equally flawed and equally appealing sources of intrigue. And so you may inquire, Libra, what is the most honorable role you can play in these matters? Should you lend your support to one side or the other? I advise you to create a third side.

SCORPIO

OCT. 23-NOV. 21: In 2018, your tribe will be extra skilled at

opening things that have been shut or sealed for a long time: heavy doors, treasure boxes, rich possibilities, buried secrets, shy eyes, mum mouths, guarded hearts and insular minds. You’ll have a knack for initiating new markets and clearing blocked passageways and staging grand openings. You’ll be more inclined to speak candidly and freely than any other generation of Scorpios in a long time. Getting stuck things unstuck will come naturally.

Making yourself available for bighearted fun and games will be your specialty. Given these wonders, maybe you should adopt a new nickname, like Apertura (the Italian word for “opening”), Ouverture (the French word for “opening”), Šiši (Yoruban), Otevírací (Czech), Öffnung (German) or Kufungua (Swahili).

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22-DEC. 21: I predict that the coming months won’t bring

you the kinds of opportunities you were imagining and expecting, but will bring you opportunities you haven’t imagined and didn’t expect.

Will you be alert and receptive to these sly divergences from your master plan? If so, by September 2018 you will have become as smart a gambler as maybe you have ever been. You will be more flexible and adaptable, too, which means you’ll be better able to get what you want without breaking stuff and wreaking whirlwinds. Congratulations in advance, my daring darling. May your experiments be both visionary and practical. May your fiery intentions be both steady and fluidic.

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19: Hungarian psychiatrist Thomas Szasz

dismissed the idea that a person should be on a quest to “find himself ” or “find herself.” “The self is not something that one finds,” he said. Rather, “it is something one creates.” I think that’s great advice for you in 2018, Capricorn. There’ll be little value in wandering around in search of fantastic clues about who you were born to be. Instead you should simply be gung-ho as you shape and craft yourself into the person you want to be.

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18: Is there anything about your attitude

or your approach that is a bit immature or unripe? Have you in some way remained an amateur or apprentice when you should or could have become fully professional by now? Are you still a dabbler in a field where you could be a connoisseur or master? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, the coming months will be an excellent time to grow up, climb higher, and try harder. I invite you to regard 2018 as the Year of Kicking Your Own Ass.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: In 2018, one of your themes will be “secret

freedom.” What does that mean? The muse who whispered this clue in my ear did not elaborate further. But based on the astrological aspects, here are several possible interpretations. 1) You may have to dig deep and be strategic to access resources that have the power to emancipate you. 2) You may be able to discover a rewarding escape and provocative deliverance that have been hidden from you up until now. 3) You shouldn’t brag about the liberations you intend to accomplish until you have accomplished them. 4) The exact nature of the freedom that will be valuable to you might be useless or irrelevant or incomprehensible to other people.

52 December 28 , 2017

Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

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ING

Dear JACK: Two options: 1) He goes in for domineering head games and “playful” violence because he’s abusive and controlling. 2) He’s got kinks, but he hasn’t managed to incorporate his kinks into his sex life in a healthy, con-

sensual manner — and now that he knows you enjoy the same things he does (but you’re healthier about them than he is), he’s projecting his selfloathing onto you. Either way, JACK, you’re going to need to DTMFA.

TUR

Dear Dan: I’ve been seeing this guy who keeps making D/s-ish jokes and moves — he smacks my butt a lot, for example.

When I let him know I like it, he’s suddenly not into it. He says it’s “disturbing” that I like what he’s been doing. Two questions: 1) Smacking my butt is OK so long as I don’t want it? 2) Enjoying what he’s doing makes me a freak?

—Joking About Consensual Kinks

by Dan Savage

Love

FEA

Dear CUMU: If that’s the only thing he won’t do — if every toy on the market is on the table, along with threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, etc. — then he’s pretty adventurous. But if kissing after you’ve swallowed is the only mildly kinky thing you’ve attempted with him and it was a no, he may not be adventurous enough to deserve unicorn status. But I will say this in his defense...

Kissing someone who has just swallowed your load (or snowballing with someone who wants you to swallow your own load) presents a challenge for many men. Some silly straight men worry that tasting their own come will turn them gay or make them look gay — I’ve gotten letters from girlfriends who thought their boyfriends were gay because they were too willing to kiss them after a blowjob.

But there are gay men out there who don’t want to deep-kiss the guy who just blew them — and they’re obviously not worried about turning gay (already are) or seeming gay (ditto). So what gives?

Blame what’s known as the “refractory period,” CUMU. Immediately after a man ejaculates, his dick starts to go soft and he loses all interest in sex — hormones have been released into his bloodstream that short-circuit sexual arousal.

Bodily fluids and orifices a man was happily lapping up or at a minute ago are suddenly repulsive, not because the dude is necessarily inhibited or insecure, CUMU, but because he’s having his period — his refractory period.

SAVAGE

ally download the pictures for later? I feel like it’s at least a little creepy to be taking screenshots of people’s photos. But as long as you’re the only one using your phone, what’s the practical difference between looking at Facebook and looking at saved screenshots?

—Screenshot Porn As New Kontent

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