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news and views IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT RAPE / 6 My painful inspiration for 20 years of writing about sexual assault by Pamela White

Begin April 16th • Register Online

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS / 11 The Ghosts of Valmont Butte Series, Part 7 by Elizabeth Miller, Joel Dyer and Jefferson Dodge AUDIT CRITICAL OF BVSD’S SPECIAL ED PROGRAM / 14 Some say educators overburdened by paperwork, administrative duties by Jefferson Dodge ON THE COVER: PENNY WISE / 19 Lack of funds and common-sense oversight hinders aid to the disabled by Hadley Vandiver

buzz FLEE! / 30 Europe has no taste for the subtle nuances of GWAR by Dave Kirby Adventure: Running full circle / 26 Overtones: Coughing up something nasty / 35 Overtones: Taking out the thrash, Boulder Symphony comes full circle / 36 Arts & Culture: He came, he saw, he kvetched / 39 Panorama: What to do and where to go / 41 Screen: 21 Jump Street; Friends With Kids / 47 Reel 2 Reel: Pick your flick / 48 Cuisine: Dressing up your drinks for spring / 50 Cooking with Cynicism: Chouxed apple fritters and mortality / 50 Cuisine Review: Jai ho / 51

departments Letters: Danish and his cave; Make your own labels / 5 The Highroad: Classy banks / 5 In Case You Missed It: Pat Robertson sees the light; Perky girls wanted / 8 Boulderganic: Environmental engineers / 23 Free Will Astrology: by Rob Brezsny / 57 Boulder Marketplace: Your community resource / 58

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staff Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Director of Sales & Marketing, Dave Grimsland Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Managing Editor, Jefferson Dodge Arts & Entertainment Editor, David Accomazzo Special Editions/Calendar Editor, Elizabeth Miller Online Editor, Quibian Salazar-Moreno Contributing Editor, Pamela White Interns, Blair Madole, Amanda Moutinho, Hadley Vandiver, Steve Weishampel Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Krystal Baugher, Rob Brezsny, Chris Callaway, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Clay Fong, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Jessie Lucier, P.J. Nutting, Brian Palmer, Chris Parker, Adam Perry, Theo Romeo, Alan Sculley, Isaac Woods Stokes, Tom Winter, Tate Zandstra, Gary Zeidner SALES Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Inside Sales Manager, Jason Wing Account Executives, David Hasson, Amber Hayes, Brooke Sunness, Amaru Ward, Jim Williams PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Marketing Manager & Heiress, Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant, Francie Swidler CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 12-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo March 29, 2012 Volume XIX, Number 34 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com 2012

cover photo: Susan France Printed on 100% recycled paper with soy-based ink.

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letters Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to shorter letters that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

Corrections: In the March 22 story “Act legalizes cottage chefs,” the figure reported as the cap for small producers was incorrectly reported as $100,000. The cap is actually $5,000 in net revenues. The March 22 story “Taste-trepreneurs” incorrectly described the way in which Life Opening processes its cacao beans. The cacao beans are not soaked or germinated. Rather, they are dried at low temperatures. Therefore, they are “alive” and keep all of their available nutrients.

Danish and his cave

(Re: “The President’s astonishing chutzpa,” Danish Plan, March 22.) I’m not sure who appointed Paul Danish the excess-presidential-hubris monitor, in his branch of the bankrupt cave he must live in. His math says “24 billion” of natural gas and “7 billion” make “energy math,” right? Silly chemistry! What good is it? We wouldn’t ever waste scarce/expensive oil to drill more oil, right? That 24 billion cubic feet may give half the energy of the 7 billion barrels, but still, an easy replacement, right? Profit forever. Yes, unless you know economics. Also (wait for it), natural gas isn’t the same thing as oil. It seems his cave-written investment

plan is growing bankrupt. Shockingly, too, the energy return on investment (EROI) of oil is different than natural gas! Trivial oil drilling has disappeared. Down from a 1,000x return for one barrel in the 1920s to a 5x return for one barrel. Before equipment costs. Actual oil net gain, only. Quickly trashing 20 percent of your diamonds or gold from that hard-won mine sounds a bit sad, no? Non-energy tech costs are further down. Even so, it’s plummeting from the ’70s, when 20x or 40x were reasonable returns. The clock is ticking from 5x down to 2x. Still, the funniest part of this portfolio failure is lost on Danish and many others: Oil company oil isn’t “our” oil yet. Shock. Even if a mythical 50 billion bar-

rels came right from North Dakota (less the drill-cost of 10), it would easily be driven up in price by China (or any other debt-free country). Wait! Just hold the presses! Danish hopes bribe-kindliness to hyper-profitable world companies of $4 billion a year will keep them drilling in our country. Take that! I wonder if the U.S. will get “our” hard-bribed-for oil? They’ll stay loyal when they own the oil? Right? It’s “ours,” right? Deficits spent on bribes are a good bet, right? Actually, they can laugh as needed. You see, it’s rumored companies instead run a “global oil market” where the U.S. buys its IOU-settled portion after those with assets set the real price.

Imported? Exported? Who cares, these aren’t strawberries! Our beautiful five years of North Dakota crude will taste sweet after China (and others) bid and fill their pitcher at the new top price. Then the rest is all for us! (Sticker shock notwithstanding.) All right then. Now we only need two more North Dakotas every decade, forever. Easy. All ready and prepared to go? No. Also, the EROI hasn’t stopped. Tar sands in Canada? EROI of 2.4. Even in a cave, an EROI of 1-2 is where no sane person would drill for oil. A sane world would find it wasteful and fire such investors who waste our money. Other see LETTERS Page 6

the

Highroad Classy banks by Jim Hightower

nother way that the rich are different from you and me is that their bankers serve freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies to them. The uber-rich, of course, are used to such coddling, but now a class of customers that bankers have dubbed the “mass affluent” get cookies, too. Think you might qualify? You do ... if you have a minimum of $500,000 to open one of these mass-affluent accounts. Otherwise, you

Boulder Weekly

fall into a category called “lowermargin” customers — so go get in the ATM line, Bucko. This half-million-dollar-andup bunch are not the 1-percenters, but they are 10-percenters, and they’ve suddenly become hotly coveted by JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup, Bank of America and other big chain banks. To reel in these mid-level richies, bankers are offering to pamper them lavishly. For example, rather than having to breathe the same air as the riff-raff, they get to bank in cushy, private lounges. The carpets are plush, the cookies fresh, and a nice touch of wine and cheese might be available. There are no lines and no tellers to deal with — instead, these affluent swells get “relationship managers” who cater to their banking needs, including being available after-

hours. And here’s someFor more information on Jim Hightower’s thing completely astonwork — and to subishing: one bank presiscribe to his awarddent says of her advanwinning monthly newsletter, The Hightower taged clients, “We’ll come to you. If you want Lowdown — visit www. jimhightower.com. us to meet you in your home on a Sunday, we’ll do that.” The chain bankers are opening hundreds of these posh new banking nests for the affluent in upscale neighborhoods across the country, even as they are feverishly inventing new fees and coldly shrinking services for you and me. It’s another move by the Powers That Be to wall off the good fortunes of the privileged few from even having to be in the same room as America’s un-affluent majority. Indeed, they’re creating their own exclusive America. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com March 29, 2012 5

uncensored It’s time to talk about rape by Pamela White

n October, it will have been 20 years since I wrote my first Uncensored column. The subject of that column was sexual assault, a topic that I’ve covered again and again. The column was written in response to a series of ignorant letters to the editor written about rape by men from the Boulder community. There had been a series of rapes on or near the Boulder Creek Path that previous summer, and a U.S. servicewoman who had been taken prisoner during Gulf War I had been sexually assaulted. Responses to these incidents were revolting — and sickeningly predictable. The victims were blamed in all cases, both those who’d been dragged into bushes, beaten and raped and the one who’d been shot down, imprisoned and raped. Women were told to stay off the creek path at night if they didn’t want to “get raped.” Further, we were told that any woman who served in the military should “expect” to get raped. After all, war is a job for men. Reading these letters enraged me so very much that I turned on my boxy little Mac Classic and pounded out a response. And thus began Uncensored — and my journalism career. Though those letters were the catalyst, what truly drove me to respond was something much deeper, much more private. I am a rape survivor. As I revealed in this column a few years past, I was sexually assaulted in 1974 at the age of 10 by the father of a classmate after knocking on her door and asking if she could play. Her father told me she wasn’t home but invited me in to wait. We were alone. He assaulted me on the living room floor while Soul Train played on the television. For a long time, I remained silent. The grief, despair, fear and rage created inside me as a result of that single, brief experience have been with me ever since. The event was a watershed. Quite simply, there was before, and there was after. Fourth grade had been a year of running on the playground, trying out swear words, and getting in trouble for kissing a boy in class. Fifth grade was a living hell, a year of night terrors and depression, of deep confusion and self-loathing. Grief. Despair. Fear. Rage. 6 March 29, 2012

There is not a rape victim on this earth who does not recognize those emotions. They stayed in my heart as I got older, affecting my choices, my relationships, my very perception of life. But something happened when I wrote that first column. When I put words into action in an attempt to speak out for other victims of this terrible crime, the emotions that had left me feeling broken and weak transformed into a source of strength. And my voice, once silent, became powerful. But however far we’ve come since 1974, we still have a long way to go. The same kind of victim-blaming that drove me to write my first column is alive and well. Women who are raped are still shamed and blamed for how they dress and when and where they walk. And recently Fox News pundit Liz Trotta suggested that women in today’s military should just “expect” to be raped. April has been designated Sexual Assault Awareness Month in the United States with the theme, “It’s time to talk about it.” Gov. John Hickenlooper signed a proclamation asking us all to “recommit ourselves not only to lifting the veil of secrecy and shame surround sexual violence, but also raising awareness, expanding support for victims and strengthening our response.” On Tuesday, April 3, the Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA) will hold a rally from noon to 1 p.m. on the west steps of the state Capitol in Denver. Please come and join your voice with mine. Editor’s note: At the event, Boulder Weekly Contributing Editor Pamela White and Fort Morgan Times Editor John LaPorte will receive CCASA’s Excellence in Media award for their work as journalists covering the issue of sexual assault. To learn more about sexual assault and what you can do to help create change, visit www.MovingtoEndSexualAssault. org. For more about Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the schedule of events at Tuesday’s rally, go to www. ccasa.org. For help, call the rape crisis hotline: 303-443-7300. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

LETTERS from Page 5

alternatives would look better as part of a long-term investment. Silly world. We must understand Paul Danish must be far more worried if Obama gets credit for anything. Also, it makes him happy if he gets blame for things he can’t control. He is happy in his cave. He can’t be bothered with $4 billion less deficit spending per year. Don’t worry. China and the oil companies will just lend it back to us at interest. A winning strategy! Christopher Hassell/Lafayette

Make your own labels

I support Pamela White’s contention that consumers who are concerned about genetically modified foods should be able to know what they are buying (“The fight to label frankenfoods,” Uncensored, March 15). But I disagree with her solution. Efforts to mandate labeling will take a long time to wind their way through Congress, and even if successful, the result will be a watered-down version of the legislation, thanks to industry lobbyists. Then, regardless of the final form of the law, producers will immediately start finding loopholes. Updating and enforcing those laws will take years and require

a whole new army of taxpayer-funded government employees. A much better solution is to put the information on the label ourselves, albeit virtually. Modern smartphones have the ability to scan UPC barcodes, which means we (“the people”) can hijack a globally ubiquitous supply chain technology to use for our own purposes. Virtual labels can contain information beyond the spin of marketers, and that information can be updated instantly. Manufacturers can’t do a damned thing about it. True, not everybody has a smartphone. But a large and growing number do, and if there really is widespread opposition to GM foods (not just “sure, why not” support in surveys about labeling laws) the negative impact on sales will still be heard. If we took all the energy being expended on the campaign for legislation and simply co-opted some existing technologies, the solution would be available next week. Without Congress or lobbyists having anything to say about it. Disclaimer: I am an advisor to theopenlabel.com, a startup working in this space. David Rea/Boulder

quotes “Today, we say, Pyongyang, have the courage to pursue peace.” —President Barack Obama, issuing a warning to North Korea regarding its plans to launch a long-range missile “Welcome him to the club. There’s only three of us in it, and one of them is dead. Now it’s just Jim and myself.” —Retired U.S. Navy Capt. Don Walsh, regarding film director James Cameron’s successful 6.8-mile deep trip to the Mariana Trench in the Pacific, the lowest point in the ocean “We are saddened to learn of the toxicology results, although we are glad to now have closure.” —Patricia Houston, Whitney Houston’s sister-in-law, commenting on autopsy results showing that cocaine and heart disease were factors in the singer’s death Boulder Weekly

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PAT ROBERTSON SEES THE LIGHT Calm down, calm down. Not that light. For the first time in, well, his life, Pat Robertson spoke with amazing rational clarity when he endorsed the legalization of marijuana earlier this month. “I became sort of a hero of the hippie culture, I guess, when I said I think we ought to decriminalize the possession of marijuana,” Robertson said on his show The 700 Club, which at least one person is still watching, apparently. “I just think it’s shocking how many of these young people wind up in prison and they get turned into hardcore criminals because they have a possession of a very small amount of controlled substance. I mean, the whole thing is crazy.” Robertson saying he’s now a hero to the hippie culture? Was he high? He soon returned to his usual form, however, when he addressed the issue of the Denver Broncos signing Peyton Manning and dumping Tim Tebow. Apparently referring to his holiness, Mr. Tebow, Robertson suggested that if Manning got injured this season, it would serve the Broncos right. Now that’s the Pat Robertson we know and love. Still, we think he should get an invite to 4/20. PERKY GIRLS WANTED Anybody remember when Boulder had a Hooters? Well, for those who have missed that style of, um, dining entertainment, a little establishment aptly named “Twin Peaks” is opening a location in the Flatiron Crossing area. This eatery is billed as a “mountainlodge style sports restaurant” that already has a location at Colorado Mills and is known for its “scenic views.” They don’t seem to be referring to the Rockies. It’s true. This joint, with a completely straight face, sends out a press release looking to recruit “Colorado’s perkiest girls” for its new restaurant. The perks of becoming one of the “outgoing and beautiful Twin Peaks Girls” include corporate tanning and having “the privilege to wear the cute procheerleader-inspired ‘lumber-jill’ costume.” Oh, and a chance to appear in the 2013 Twin Peaks Calendar. “And the best part of all?” the release says. “No previous restaurant experience required.” We bet there isn’t. Prospective eye candy, er, applicants, were supposed to show up earlier this week at the new location, “dressed to impress and with their bubbly personalities in tow.” Somehow, we don’t think they’re being hired for their personalities. Makes Hooters look like a church. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

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news Behind closed doors

The citizens own Valmont Butte but may have been denied their right to public hearings for decades by Elizabeth Miller, Joel Dyer and Jefferson Dodge

t’s been 70 years since the Allied Chemical Company first obtained a license to store radioactive and heavy metal contamination at Valmont Butte. And in all that time — despite the significant releases of toxic wastes into the environment, including millions of gallons of pollutants that went into the Public Service Company lakes and the discovery of contamination in the drinking water wells directly below the primary tailings pond dike dam, not to mention the burying of radium-contaminated soil as well as the questionable cleanup practices that are still occurring today — the citizens of Boulder who have been living with the health risks and are now picking up the cleanup tab have never been given a single opportunity for a public hearing on Valmont Butte. At least in the way a federal agency has recently defined the term “hearing.” This disturbing fact raises a serious question. Has the public been denied hearings that it should have been granted under the laws governing the contamination at the butte? It is an understatement to say that there is disagreement on this issue. Between the state and the federal governments, it’s not even clear whose rules are applicable. In 1968, Colorado became an “agreement state” for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC). Sounds simple enough, but it’s not. What this means is that the state government was granted the right to regulate uranium-related activity and radioactive materials, such as the 465,000 to 1.1 million tons of radioactive tailings in the primary pond as well as the 200 truckloads of radium-contaminated soil buried somewhere on the butte by the city of Boulder in 1971. As an “agreement state,” The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment (CDPHE) is authorized by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission to license and enforce all provisions of the Atomic Energy Act with the full force and authority of the NRC, which previously was charged with that task. Boulder Weekly

It now appears that the CDPHE and the NRC have differing views on exactly what this transfer of authority means, and it could have implications for Valmont Butte. “The Nuclear Regulatory Commission has no authority in the state of Colorado. That agency has specifically discontinued its regulatory authority,” says Warren Smith, community involvement manager for the hazardous materials and waste manage-

radioactive licensing is now being debated in court. The towns of Telluride and Ophir recently sued the state, arguing that the CDPHE’s procedures when issuing the license for the Piñon Ridge mill violated federal laws regarding management of uranium activity, particularly in regard to public hearings. One of the stipulations in the Atomic Energy Act is that public hearings be held when a radioactive materials license is issued, amended or termi-

Series: Part 7 ment division of the CDPHE. “It goes beyond delegating authority to Colorado,” says Smith. “They have completely ceded their authority in Colorado, so they have no authority to act retroactively on any licensing decision.” While Smith seems quite sure of the state’s position, the NRC and a good number of attorneys apparently disagree on how some of these laws are implemented and enforced. Their differences of opinion have come to light in recent weeks over the CDPHE’s handling of a uranium mill license it issued for the new Piñon Ridge facility near the town of Nucla. The question of how federal laws overseen by the NRC still apply in the state of Colorado when it comes to

nated. At the request of citizen activists in the area, the NRC conducted an inquiry into the Piñon Ridge mill and found that the CDPHE had issued the license without providing the proper public hearings, which should have included the opportunity for testimony under oath as well as cross-examinations. The CDPHE was unhappy with the NRC for having intervened into what it believed was clearly its jurisdiction. The state was further miffed by having heard about the NRC’s actions in media accounts instead of through direct contact. In a letter to the NRC, the CDPHE director complained about a letter the NRC wrote to an attorney for the activists. “We were disappointed because we have been engaged in com-

munications with the NRC to discuss and work through the very issues you have unilaterally resolved,” the director wrote. “We were disappointed because rather than continuing to work with the state on these issues, you directly communicated your conclusions to a third party. […] We, instead, found out about this letter, which clearly impacts the state and its relationship with the NRC, through third parties, and after this letter was shared with the press.” The letter further argues that the matter should have been brought up at this year’s review of the program in April. It also clarifies that the “applicable federal statutes pertaining to licenses for uranium mills do not say there ‘shall’ be an evidentiary hearing on every uranium mill license; they say only that state law shall provide an ‘opportunity’ for public hearings.” In the state’s interpretation of the federal law regarding such public hearings, only the mine or mill operator, the potential polluter, could have called for a public hearing. In the case of Valmont Butte, for example, that would mean that only Allied Chemical, which applied for a radioactive materials license in 1971, after a state site inspection found levels of radium-226, uranium and polonium-210 at high enough concentrations to require regulation, could have requested a public hearing. This, of course would rarely be in the interest of the polluter, and so in practice, such public hearings likely not occur. And when it comes to Valmont Butte, they apparently haven’t. While it appears for now that the NRC may pressure the state to have public hearings and testimony under oath at the Piñon Ridge site, it’s unclear how such a position would impact the public’s right to have a hearing regarding Valmont Butte. That’s because the Allied mill site falls into a unique category of contamination that no one seems quite sure how to define or regulate. see VALMONT Page 12

March 29, 2012 11

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The Allied mill was not a uranium mill. It was a fluorspar mill that used ore that contained uranium. Once the fluorspar had been removed, the leftover tailings contained enough radioactivity to require a license, but not as much radioactivity as a uranium mill. Still, the license was issued under the power granted to the state by the NRC, and it would therefore seem that the same federal requirements for public hearings would apply. Not surprisingly, the state doesn’t see it that way. According to the CDPHE’s Smith, “under the Colorado law, it’s not a uranium mill.” Edgar Ethington, environmental protection specialist with the CDPHE radiation management unit, agrees. “The kind of license that was issued to Valmont Butte was only to possess,” he says. “That is because the mill did not primarily purify source material. It was not primarily a uranium mill. They milled gold and fluorspar. The radioactive materials were incidental to the milling process. So regulatorily, very different material.” It would seem that if the radioactive contamination at Valmont Butte is great enough to warrant a license being issued under the power granted to the state by the NRC, then it would follow that the NRC’s requirements for public hearings would still also apply. And if that’s the case, and the NRC’s interpretation of federal law still applies even though the state is now charged with administering the program, then a public hearing may have been required but not conducted for Valmont Butte licensing issues, including amendments and termination, no less than five times. Here’s a recap of the licensing history. Allied Chemical was issued a license for radioactive materials in 1971. The license was amended twice later that same year to accept up to 1,500 cubic yards of “radium-226 impacted demolition debris” from the Boulder Housing Authority — the 200 truckloads of radium-contaminated soil from the Third and Pearl streets site. The state issued a new radioactive materials license in 1977 for the continued storage of radioactive materials in the tailings pond. Tom Hendricks, after inquiring into this matter in 1984 while operating the Hendricks mill at the site, was informed that the license was considered still effective even after the fiveyear expiration date had passed, because — and here the CDPHE plays by the Atomic Energy Act’s rules — radioac-

“Not having these public meetings, not having their decisions public and open has ended up with a lot of contaminated water and a lot of dead people.” — Attorney Travis Stills

tive materials licenses remain in force until officially terminated. Finally, in 1999, the license was terminated by request from the Valmont Butte Corporation (VBC) and Lincoln Trust Company in exchange for a cleanup plan and a set of covenants to run with the land. The state of Colorado’s public health department approved the license termination, citing its authority granted by the NRC, and then approved the cleanup that had been performed by VBC. But after the CDPHE declared the site to be fully remediated, the EPA returned to find contamination all across the site, and that is what the City and Honeywell are currently attempting to clean up. Also under the NRC regulations, in order for a license to be terminated, the remediation plan must be submitted beforehand, and this, too, is subject to public hearings. None of the past cleanup attempts, including the current city/ Honeywell Voluntary Cleanup Plan approved by the CDPHE, have ever been put before a public hearing, as defined by the NRC. If they had, the outcome could have been very different. Had the state hosted public hearings on any of those occasions, people from the Native American Rights Fund, the Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center, the Valmont Cemetery Association, the Valmont Butte Heritage Alliance, adjacent landowners to the south and the landowners across the street to the north — whose land and wells have been being contaminated since the 1940s — would have had the chance to speak up about these issues. The question of groundwater on the site and whether contamination had spread or health issues were being created for people living in the surrounding communities might have

been aired. By the time that the termination of the license was being discussed in 1999, Adrienne Anderson’s environmental ethics class at University of Colorado had done a study on the Valmont Butte site which resulted in a paper titled, “Toxic mess for sale.” Had there been a public hearing, their arguments about the safety of that site would have varied greatly from the picture otherwise painted for the residents of Boulder, as well as for the Boulder City Council, which does not seem to have been informed of the site’s true history by staff before being asked to buy the property with taxpayer dollars. “Regardless of who’s running the site, reaching out to the public is essential,” says Travis Stills, an attorney with the Energy Minerals Law Center, which is working with the public in their protest of the new uranium mill near Nucla. As for the current City/Honeywell remediation plan that started moving in clean dirt this week, the voluntary clean up process (VCUP) does not have a hearing provision, according to the CDPHE, but there “have been plenty of opportunities for public input into the voluntary cleanup plan,” Smith says. But there hasn’t been a hearing with the opportunity for testimony under oath and cross-examination, as is required by the NRC. “Really, at this point, I think the critical questions that we would ask are, is the voluntary cleanup plan protective of human health and environment — and we’ve made the determination that it is — and is it being implemented properly,” Smith says. While such assurance should offer some comfort, it is difficult to find any, considering the state’s track record on remediation. Not only did the state wrongly declare Valmont Butte to be cleaned up in 1999, but a handful of uranium mill sites around the state of Colorado that have been “cleaned up” according to the CDPHE are still considered too dirty by the federal government for the Department of Energy to take possession of them as required by law. “The Piñon Ridge Uranium Mill, the Cotter Uranium Mill in Cañon City, the Durita Uranium Mill, the Uravan Uranium Mill, the Schwartzwalder Uranium Mine all have see VALMONT Page 14

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news Audit critical of BVSD’s special ed program by Jefferson Dodge

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state audit has found the Boulder Valley School District’s special education program deficient in a dozen different areas. Those close to the situation say the problems are being prompted, at least in part, by decreasing resources and recent changes that require already overworked educators to complete paperwork differently. Indeed, many of the “systemic noncompliance and necessary corrective actions” identified in the Feb. 9 audit from the Colorado Department of Education (CDE) are related to incomplete documentation. But even the BVSD’s special education director acknowledges that those paperwork gaps can reflect practice, so he says his department is taking the audit seriously and began

addressing some of the concerns months ago. The concerns identified in the audit include cases where there was a failure to obtain written parental consent before beginning special ed services, instances where a student’s limited see AUDIT Page 15

VALMONT from Page 12

seen serious problems and to one degree or another the health department, this radiation management unit, has been at the root of not following the required procedure,” says Jeff Parsons, staff attorney for the Western Mining Action Project. The activity at these sites has resulted in substantial contamination, he says. “At the Durita and the Uravan, the state followed a process that the NRC doesn’t agree with, doesn’t recognize and won’t allow the state to let go of that license,” Parsons says. “The DOE and NRC have refused to allow those mills to go back to federal ownership because the state has failed to follow proper procedure. The state argues, obviously, that they are cleaned up and they think they’re adequate to turn over, but the federal government won’t take it because they can’t be assured, because the state didn’t follow the proper procedure.” The Schwartzwalder Mine, a uranium mine near Golden, is contaminating Ralston Creek, which flows into Ralston Reservoir, a Denver drinking water supply, Parsons says. Part of the argument for how these sites are handled is their proximity to populations, Parsons says. These sites

are a mile from the nearest homes. The Valmont Butte tailings pile is 200 feet from the nearest drinking water well. “These old mill sites present serious problems, and if they’re not a Superfund site it can be difficult to track back and collect all the responsible parties, but now that Boulder owns the land they’re pretty much responsible,” Parsons says. Stills, who is also working on the Nucla site, claims there’s a pattern of the radioactive management division withholding information from Colorado residents. For the public to get careful and open analysis, he argues, they’ll have to demand it. “They seem to take the view that it’s radioactive materials, they get to do whatever they want without oversight, and that’s exactly contrary to what these laws require,” Stills says. “These folks need to operate in the full public view, especially because their behavior has killed a lot of people in the last 80 years. … Not having these public meetings, not having their decisions public and open has ended up with a lot of contaminated water and a lot of dead people.” Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

AUDIT from Page 14

English language skills were not considered when determining special ed eligibility, and areas where there was a lack of measurable data and goals about a child’s performance. In other files examined by the CDE, the audit says, the district failed to use a variety of assessment tools as required, did not properly document individuals’ absence from meetings about the child’s education plan, and had gaps in transition services, which focus on helping the child move beyond school and on to other education, training, employment or independent living. A prior independent audit of BVSD’s special ed program conducted in 2007 identified low teacher morale, in part because of new requirements from the federal and state government, understaffing, burdensome paperwork and limited opportunities for collaboration, according to media reports. School board member Jennie Belval asked about the new audit at the board’s Feb. 28 meeting. She asked Superintendent Bruce Messinger for more information “sooner rather than later.” The board still has not been given a copy of the audit, although BVSD officials say they plan to present the findings, along with the district’s response, later this spring. Belval tells Boulder Weekly that she has heard BVSD instructors, especially special ed teachers, say that it’s no longer “the profession they got into” because of all the paperwork and administrative demands. “Their profession is under siege, and they’re blamed for things that are really not in their control,” Belval says, adding that while everyone is in favor of accountability, “they’d rather be spending less time on paperwork and more time with kids.” Ron Yauchzee, who is in his first year as director of special education for BVSD, says he doesn’t write the audit off as simply paperwork problems. At a doctor’s office, for example, “the charts need to reflect the reality,” he says. “The paperwork can’t be separate.” Still, Yauchzee says a lack of written parental consent, for instance, doesn’t mean special ed services were being initiated without parents’ knowledge; it was sometimes simply a question of the date on which forms were signed. He acknowledges that his staff has “more and more accountability and fewer means, or people, to do it. … A lot is being asked of educators. … I’m sure they are all feeling stress from the change.” Yauchzee says his department has begun gathering special ed teachers in teams to walk through new processes Boulder Weekly

and ensure there is time for the various specialists to discuss each child’s needs. In its report, the CDE does laud the BVSD’s special education program for a variety of strengths, and says the department has submitted requested corrections to files in a timely manner. CDE officials say they review each district’s data annually, and an audit is triggered when there are significant areas of concern. The last state audit of BVSD’s special ed program was in 2002. Deb Montgomery, coordinator of

the CDE’s continuous improvement monitoring process, says the number of areas tagged in the BVSD audit is within the range commonly seen in other audits. She and Mary Greenwood, a monitoring supervisor in the CDE’s office of special education programs, declined to say which of the corrective actions identified in the BVSD audit are most serious. They disagreed about whether special ed teachers are being asked to do

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more paperwork. Montgomery acknowledges that one child’s “individualized education program,” was 65 pages long. But Greenwood counters, “I don’t know if it’s more paperwork. I think it’s more descriptive report-writing, though. … I do think we’re asking folks to do things differently, and talk to each other, so that we’re talking about the whole kid, not bits and pieces of the kid.” Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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PENNYWISE

Lack of funds and common-sense oversight hinders aid to those with disabilities by Hadley Vandiver

Hadley Vandiver

ven at midday, the mobile home of Edward Celias is dark. The blinds are drawn and the only source of light is a small lamp in the corner. But Celias does not mind the darkness. He is legally blind.

Since losing his eyesight, becoming asthmatic and contracting chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder, Celias’ life has been a constant battle to survive. He has lived in seedy motels surrounded by drug dealers and shootings. His life savings were stolen from his bank account after he failed to realize his checkbooks were missing. Celias lost his left index finger when two men, one wielding a knife, entered his apartment, attacked him and stole the money from his recently cashed disability check. He lay bleeding on the floor of his apartment for two days following the attack. “There are a lot of people out there who want to take advantage of you because you’re blind, because you have a disability,” Celias says. “So you know, life is not that easy. I have to figure out different ways to handle everything, and deal with not much money. I can use all the help I can get.” Like almost 500,000 other people in the state of Colorado, Celias now lives independently with his disabilities. He is able to do so only with the help of local disability service providers. Celias receives three meals a day from Meals on Wheels of East Boulder County. A nurse from Adult Care Management Inc. comes to his house once a week to organize his daily medications and help him clean. His groceries come from the food bank of Sister Carmen, a local community center that provides assistance to those in need of “a little extra help.” Celias receives a Social Security disability check for $1,017 every month, which

Boulder Weekly

Edward Celias

he uses to pay rent at the Skylark Mobile Home Park, pay for his utility and phone bills and buy any medications not covered by Medicaid. A woman from the American Council for the Blind, whom Celias refers to only as “an angel,” helped him find his current home and leave the dangerous conditions he was in before. Local disability service providers work to give people like Celias the help they need. However, they are often limited by a lack of funding and a tangled bureaucratic system, which some critics say wastes more money than it saves. When these organizations must cut programs due to budget cuts or inefficient use of funds, it is their disabled clients who suffer most. “Unfortunately, the way the system maintains systemic oppression, and I mean the system, not the people, is by dividsee DISABILITIES Page 20

March 29, 2012 19

DISABILITIES from Page 19

ing us into competing interests so we’re all fighting over funds,” says Ian Engle, executive director of the Center for People with Disabilities (CPWD) in Boulder. “We end up with senior services competing with people with disabilities, like ourselves. Or we end up competing for dollars with folks who are looking for education funding for kids, and that’s just bogus.” Though disability service providers have long fought the funding battle, conditions worsened after the economic downturn. Still, funding is not the only problem, or even the biggest problem. A bureaucratic system overseen by too many people with little understanding of the situations often holds disability service providers back from effectively helping their clients, Engle says. At the state level, the Department of Health Care Policy and Finance, the Division of Housing, the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation and the Department of Health and Human Services all have a hand in governing some aspect of disability services. Furthermore, at the federal level, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid (CMS) and the U.S. Social Security Administration also make decisions that affect the disabled and their providers. Because many clients are receiving help from all these different levels, including locally, coordinating their services becomes a huge problem, Engle says. When changes occur at any level of clients’ help, all aspects of their aid might be affected. “It gets really ugly,” Engle says. “For instance, recently the federal government, the Social Security Administration, gave everybody an increase in their disability checks. So on the one hand you get this increase from the feds, but then as soon as you get this increase in your income, your state food assistance gets dropped, so you have to pay more for food. Not only that, but your housing assistance gets dropped. So you might have gotten a $40 increase on your monthly check, but overall, you took a $60 hit.” This bureaucracy also leads to a tendency in the U.S. toward institutionalization rather than independent living. The bias comes mostly with Medicaid, which is a joint federal and state program, and has two main components: institutions, such as nursing homes, and home health. “When the state cuts programs, the federal law doesn’t allow them to cut the institutional side,” says Tim Wheat, community organizer for CPWD. “But it does allow them to cut what they call ‘optional services,’ which is personal home health care service. In the last budgets, it is only home health that has experienced cuts. We took a 6 percent cut this year.” CMS openly acknowledges this institutional bias in its long-term care services, even commissioning the National Balancing Indicator Project in 2004 to analyze whether states were doing enough to combat it. This institutional bias presents a large problem because it leads to people being placed in nursing homes unnecessarily, and ultimately costs the state 20 March 29, 2012

Susan France

check his blood sugar. Though Tennant admits that he does need a little extra help, he does not need the 24-hour care of the nursing home. “Right now I’ve got my diabetes under control,” Tennant says. “I don’t need to be in the nursing home. I can do it on my own. I did it once before, I can do it again. I’d rather be out there working, instead of just sitting in here watching TV.” Tennant carries a blue binder stuffed full of “homework” that Wheat gives him in preparation for leaving the nursing home. Tennant has a meticulously planned budget that includes food, transportation and other general living costs. He knows how much he will make if he goes back to his job at the Diamond Shamrock convenience store, and how much he will receive from Social Security. He has looked into apartments that he can afford, and has been trained to administer his own insulin. When the freeze on the turnover vouchers began in October, Tennant and Wheat were hopeful that the freeze would be over in a month. Soon, that turned into two months, then three months, then six months. Then Wheat received an email from the SHP confirming that the vouchers would not be reinstated at all. “Mike may be in the nursing home indefinitely,” Wheat says. Another disability service provider in Boulder, Imagine!, must often adapt to these same bureaucratic nightmares and Mike Tennant cuts in funding. Imagine! is a community-centered board, meaning that it serves as Boulder’s single entry point into local, and the federal government a great deal more money. state and federally funded programs for people with Though at the national level efforts have been disabilities. Imagine! also provides its own services for made to reduce the institutional bias, the problem has the developmentally, cognitively or physically disnot gone away. abled. Mike Tennant is currently struggling with this Recently, all Imagine! programs funded by institutional bias. He has lived in the Mesa Vista Medicaid were cut by 4.5 percent, while at the same nursing home in Boulder for 21 months, but is ready time, the costs of running the programs went up by to move out, and has been since last October. the same amount, says Mark Emery, executive direcUnfortunately, at around the same time that tor of Imagine! Two years ago, the Family Support Tennant was ready to leave Mesa Vista, the Service Program (FSSP) of Imagine! also had its Supportive Housing Program (SHP) of the Colorado budget cut by two-thirds. Since then, the amount of Department of Local Affairs froze turnover vouchers services for people with disabilities that Imagine! is in the Housing Choice Voucher Program. These able to provide in the area has dropped dramatically. vouchers previously helped people with disabilities “The thing is, Imagine! is not the most affected transition back into the community from nursing by this,” Emery says. “The people with disabilities homes or other institutions. The turnover vouchers who are living with their families are the most affectcome into play when a person using a voucher moves, ed by this. These budget cuts happen, and at the dies or for some reason no longer needs their voucher. same time, their need grows. People with disabilities The leftover voucher money is then given to another are living with their parents for a lot longer period of person who is waiting for money. time. The parents are getting older and they need The turnover voucher program was removed so more support, but instead they’re getting less.” the department could save money and remain within The FSSP provides grant money to families that its budget, Wheat says. However, dropping the are the main caretakers for their disabled children. vouchers will likely end up costing the state more in When their funds are cut, the FSSP must decide the long run, especially in cases like Tennant’s. whether they will decrease the amount of money Tennant suffers from diabetes, and must regulate given in each grant while maintaining the same numhis blood sugar at least five times a day. At Mesa ber of grants, or reduce the number of grants but Vista, the nurses give Tennant his insulin shots and maintain the amount of money each grant is worth. Boulder Weekly

judith anne condon For families with two working parents or low incomes, the situation quickly becomes desperate when their grant money is cut or removed altogether, says Heather Forsyth, a member of the FSSP. The grants that Imagine! and the FSSP provide help families pay for the costs of caring for their family member with a developmental disability. This can include “respite care so that the families can get just a little break, medical costs, professional services, transportation and making the home a safer environment, among some other things,” Forsyth says. Because of their recent funding cuts, the FSSP has decided to shift its support to focus more on young adults attempting to transition from a school environment to living in the community on their own, Forsyth says. Medicaid has programs in place to ease such transitions, which are one part of the larger Home and Community Based Services (HCBS) waiver programs. The waitlists for these waiver programs, however, are obscenely long. The totals for the number of people on each of the different waitlists were provided at a Joint Budget Committee hearing for the Colorado Department of Human Services in December 2010. At the time, the HCBS Comprehensive Services list had 5,929 people. The HCBS Supported Living Services waitlist had 3,673, while the HCBS Children’s Extensive Support list had 298, and the HCBS Family Support Services waitlist had 4,907 people. “You can place a child on the waitlist for adult waivers when they are 14,” says Forsyth. “My daughter has been on the waitlist since then, and she was eligible to get one of those waivers when she turned 18. But honestly, I am not anticipating that she will get a waiver for another 10 years or more, and that’s if there is still funding around. You never know how the system can change. So it’s a pretty huge burden.” Funding cuts and daunting waitlists barely graze the surface of the mountain of difficulties that disability service providers face. “There is more at work here than the economy,” Emery says. “If all we had to deal with was the economic downturn, I’d be thrilled. But we had to deal with that plus some decisions by the Department of Human Services that really impacted us as well.” The decisions to which Emery refers were made in 2004, and determined that the Colorado Department of Health Care Policy and Finance would become the authority for issues related to providing services for the developmentally disabled. Since then, the way that the services are funded Boulder Weekly

and delivered has changed greatly, says Fred Hobbs, director of public relations for Imagine! Disability services are now paid for and defined through a fee-for-service model and a “deficit-based approach,” Hobbs says. This means that the services the client needs are paid for after they have been administered, and the services focus narrowly on one aspect of the client’s problems. “Now, in a regular hospital, that’s fine,” Hobbs says. “I have insurance so if I break my arm, I go to the hospital, they fix my arm, the insurance pays for it, and it’s done. That makes sense. But in the world of disabilities, that doesn’t make sense. If you have a disability, you don’t go to the hospital, get some treatment and it goes away. That’s not how it works. So if you’re taking this deficit-based approach with these waivers, essentially you’re just putting money into an issue that can’t be solved. It’s just going down the drain.” The system changed in order to ensure more accountability from the federal government for the appropriation of funds, Emery says. “These decisions were made without an understanding of our difficulties,” he says. “Now, we’re stuck in a system that is completely unsustainable and can’t survive for much longer. We’re just costing ourselves more money. Something needs to change.” Those who work for Imagine! and the CPWD have many ideas about how to fix the system. In reality, it is doubtful that disability services will have their funding increased by any significant amount in coming years, barring some miracle economic boom. Therefore, they are looking for other ways to solve their problems and to better serve the clients. Engle advocates a Money Follows the Person approach, which would allow Medicaid funds to be used flexibly to address a client’s specific needs and preferences. Though disability service providers may struggle to survive, their clients, like Celias, Tennant and Forsyth, would struggle even more if they were to disappear. Back in Celias’ dark mobile home, the sound of the oxygen tank pushing air through a tube in his nose becomes the only sound as he contemplates how his life would be without the help of disability service providers. “If any of these people that help me, if any of it got taken away, I wouldn’t be able to live here on my own anymore,” Celias says. “My life is hard, but I want to live on my own. Nursing homes, they’re like being subliminally in jail. I don’t want to be in there. I don’t want to be put in a home.” Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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Boulder Weekly

boulderganic

Blair Madole

Environmental engineers

The CU students who are sacrificing their social lives for an energy-efficient car by Blair Madole

three-wheeled, alien vehicle that can be lifted with relative ease by three or four young men is carrying the hopes of five engineering students at the University of Colorado. They believe the car may be able to last for 1,500 miles on one gallon of gas during the Shell Eco-marathon this weekend. The car, named F-CAT, or Fastest Car at Track, is the result of five years of work by various teams of seniors in the engineering program. The first team came up with the design, and each year the new team selected for the project makes improvements. This year’s team, consisting of seniors Matt Feddersen, Jeff Vankeulen, Jared Wampler, Paul Sweacey and Joe Gratcofsky, has added fuel injection and other features to try and beat F-CAT’s 2011 record of 1,008 miles per gallon. They’ll compete at the 26th Shell Eco-marathon against teams from high schools and universities around the continent on the streets of downtown Houston. “It is definitely tough because we are given something, and we don’t know what last year’s team really wanted to do going forward with it,” Vankeulen says. “So it takes us a good bit of time to figure out what we need to do and where we need to focus in order to get the most benefits from our work.” The young men have worked an

average of 30 hours per week since they started the project last fall, while still taking full course loads. That dedication has extended to being up and moving at 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning while many of their fellow seniors at CU are still recovering from the previous night. They pretty much live at the engineering center, Vankeulen says. “Social lives? Zero,” Wampler says, and laughs. “I believe we were told at the first meeting last fall, ‘If you have a girlfriend, take a picture and tell her you will see her next summer.’” The conversation among the team members sounds like something straight from an episode of The Big Bang Theory, with words like carbon fiber and dynamometer tossed about comfortably. Their collective brainpower is impressive, from Feddersen rebuilding an old Camaro in high school to Vankeulen possibly becoming an actual rocket scientist after graduation. Sadly, the team’s higher than average IQ won’t necessarily help them beat the Eco-marathon record of 2,564.8 miles on one gallon of gas which was set in 2011 by the team from Quebec’s Université Laval team. “The winning team does a lot more with a lot more money,” Vankeulen says. “What we are doing with the amount of time and money and knowledge that we have — I mean, we are all very knowledgeable, but we are also only fourth-year

left to right: Jeff Vankeulen, Paul Sweacey, Joe Gratcofsky, Jared Wampler and Matt Feddersen Blair Madole

Driver Paul Sweacey

Blair Madole

The team with this year’s car

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boulderganic Quote

“Because we don’t think about future generations, they will never forget us.” — Finnish author Henrik Tikkanen

black art of “greenwashing.” That’s to say the art of being environmentally responsible in marketing pitch only while still screwing the planet in reality. That’s because this same research also found that more than 70 percent of consumers would consider boycotting a company and its products if it were found that it had lied about its environmental practices. “Manufacturer beware,” has a nice ring to it.

eco-briefs

by Boulder Weekly staff

Consumers see through greenwashing

By now, it’s hard to find a company that doesn’t understand the importance of environmental responsibility as a sales tool. Recent research shows that consumers now base many of their purchasing decisions on how green they perceive a particular company to be. According to a recent article on the Marketplace website, “American consumers expect companies to address the full environmental impact of a product’s lifecycle, from the impacts associated with manufacturing the product (90 percent), to using it (88 percent), to disposing of it (89 percent). And 69 percent of American consumers routinely or sometimes consider the environment when making a purchasing decision.” While this should be good news for the environment and those companies making real strides to be green, it should also come as a warning to those who practice the

Sheath that willie for Earth Day

Proponents of global population control have long suggested that human overpopulation is contributing to the demise of endangered species around the world. So forget for a minute that one person born in the United States will consume more of the planet’s natural resources than 27 kids born in a Third World country. We’re just saying. But if the too many people argument is

your cup of tea, you are in luck this April 22. For its part of this year’s Earth Day celebration, The Center for Biological Diversity will be distributing 100,000 free endangered species condoms around the country. According to the organization’s promotional materials, the group has teamed up with artist Roger Peet to create colorful condom packages featuring a variety of species including Polar bears and dwarf seahorses. Happy Earth Day … and bring a date.

BOULDERGANIC from Page 23

mechanical engineering students.” The team receives $1,250 from the mechanical engineering department to improve the car each year. That covers the cost of one of the special wheels that are needed for the vehicle. The rest of the team’s budget derives from grants and donations. The team isn’t focused on winning the entire competition, just on improving the car from last year and achieving increased fuel efficiency. “This year, we all kind of decided

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our goal is 1,500 miles per gallon,” Vankeulen says. “If we achieve that goal, we will be really happy at the competition, and that will probably place us in the top five. To win, we would need to get 2,500 to 2,600 miles per gallon. That’s a little out of reach right now, but it is definitely possible for next year’s team.” Despite the drain on their time and their lack of robust social lives, the members of the team agree they are glad they

were able to work on this project. Some members have even gotten attached to the car, like Sweacey, the driver, who says the car is his “baby” now. “Of all the senior engineering projects, this is the only competition-based one,” Feddersen says. “I think all of us are pretty competitive and it is fun to go out there and work and see how we can do.” “It is also the only project where you have such a big end goal and have

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something to show for your work,” Vankeulen says. “I think we all would have regretted it if we hadn’t done this.” The team will travel to Houston to test their car in the Shell Eco-marathon March 29 to April 1. After months of intensive work on the project, the teammates say they plan to celebrate with a drink and a reconciliation with their abandoned girlfriends. Check boulderganic.com next week to find out how the team placed.

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events

THURSDAY, MARCH 29 Luis Benitz Presentation — Six-time Mt. Everest summiter sharing stories and images. 7 p.m. GoLite, 1222 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-1484. Skiing Across Alaska and Overcoming PTSD. 8 p.m. Neptune Mountaineering, 633 South Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-8866. FRIDAY, MARCH 30 Snakes Alive! 6:30 p.m. REI Store, 1789 28th St., Boulder, 303-583-9970. SATURDAY, MARCH 31 Bike Maintenance Clinic — With Mason Pierce from Boulder Cycle Sport. 9 a.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, thedairy.org/ bikeart. Derailleurs and Shifters. 9 a.m. Community Cycles, 2805 Wilderness Pl., Ste. 1000, Boulder, 720-565-6019.

Running full circle

Vigil after a race at left, and with his Adams State College team, above

Mountain runner Pablo Vigil recounts a career on foot by Elizabeth Miller

he week he’ll be inducted into the Colorado Running Hall of Fame, Pablo Vigil is likely to spend more hours practicing his guitar than running, a shift that he says is a welcome change. Vigil is the only man to have won four straight Sierre-Zinal mountain races, a 32-kilometer course through Switzerland. He’s also won the Cleveland Marathon three times, competed in U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials, won a 100-mile stage race in Algeria in

1989 and was a National 25K Masters Champion in the Old Kent River Run in 1995. Vigil got squeezed into running — almost literally. In high school in Craig, he and two of his three brothers were competing on the school wrestling team. “After a while, I realized I had to lose weight to stay in this certain category because I had a brother above and a brother below who could kick my ass,

so that was the only spot where I could make varsity,” he says. Then he just fell in love with running. “I love just, with running, how it made me feel,” he says. “I just sort of stumbled upon the fact that I was good at it.” Running became his ticket out, too. Both his parents had just a first grade education. His father herded sheep and his mother raised four boys and cleaned houses. But as Vigil was finishing high

SUNDAY, APRIL 1 Boulder Spring Half. 8 a.m. Boulder Reservoir, www.bouldermarathon.com. TUESDAY, APRIL 2 Backpacking your Kiddo Through the Younger Months and Years. 4 p.m. Alfalfa’s Community Room, 1651 Broadway, Boulder, 303-856-4777. Boulder Lightpackers Meeting — Backpacking meals and cooking techniques. 6:30 p.m. REI Store, 1789 28th St., Boulder, 303-583-9970. TUESDAY, APRIL 3 Rowing the Atlantic — Oldest woman to row across an ocean, Suzanne Pinto. 7 p.m. Changes in Latitude Travel Store, 2525 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303786-8406. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4 Primal Boulder Crit Series. 5:30 p.m. Boulder Tech Center, 6500 Dry Creek Parkway, Longmont, 720-244-8228. Three-season Survival Skills. 6:30 p.m. REI Store, 1789 28th St., Boulder, 303-583-9970. To list your event, send information to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. attn: “Elevation.”

at the boulder reservoir

www.DistanceClassic.com 26 March 29, 2012

Boulder Weekly

adventure

Vigil is known for success on and off the track

school, he started getting letters from colleges, inviting him to consider running, or wrestling, on their teams. He chose Adams State College in Alamosa, and started to see success with his coach there, Joe Vigil. “He really made me aware of my talent, of what I could do with more training,” Vigil says. The spring of his senior year, he came to Boulder to compete in a three-mile race that Frank Shorter, the 1972 Olympic marathon gold medal winner, was also competing in. “I was a little brash, a little cocky back then, so I thought, I don’t care if Frank Shorter has a gold medal,” he says. He wanted to see how he lined up. He bolted off the starting line and was through the first quarter-mile of the race in 69 seconds. “The pace was totally insane,” he says. After about 800 meters, he started to flag. And Shorter was still in his shadow. “I just really started to die, and here comes Frank, blazing by me,” he says. After the race, Shorter approached him. “He says, ‘Do you always start off that fast?’” Vigil says. “I said, ‘Congratulations. In all honesty it was just sheer stupidity.’ He said I should move to Boulder, we could run and train together.’” That was it for Vigil. On graduation day at Adams State, he packed up a Volvo with a friend and moved into a double-wide trailer owned by Coach Jerry Quiller. He’d live in that trailer with up to 18 people, friends of friends of friends, he says, surviving on peanut butter and oatmeal and spaghetti. “Here we were in this trailer, we were literally

Boulder Weekly

starving artists, working part-time shit jobs, anything we could to do eke out a living and have the flexibility to travel and train,” he says. It was to the mountains that Vigil eventually gravitated. “There’s a spiritual component, a primal connection, at least for me,” he says. He won his first Sierre-Zinal in 1979, a 32-kilometer race that climbs more than a mile in altitude in the first 10 kilometers. “It’s a steep-ass mountain race,” Vigil says. The terrain is rocky, too, and the trail is often a narrow strip cutting across a steep cliff. It’s a race that has it all, he says. He still recruits American runners to compete in it, including the first American woman to win the Sierre-Zinal, Megan Lunde. Vigil’s ongoing involvement with young runners is among the criteria used to select him for the Running Hall of Fame, though the question was hardly hotly debated when his name appeared on the list of candidates this year.

“We didn’t have to convince anybody, let’s put it that way,” says John Tope, chair of the Running Hall of Fame. “He was an exceptional runner at Adams State and he was one of those athletes that could run on the roads as well as mountain races. … Even to this day he’s almost like a rock star when he goes back to Europe.” Colorado Running Hall of Fame athletes must have lived in Colorado for a minimum of five years of their running career and accomplished success at a local, national or international level. “Then we look at if they’ve given anything back to the sport, do they conduct themselves in a fashion that the youth of the state can look up to and respect,” Tope says. “Pablo is just a great guy. He’s still involved, he even takes groups over to Europe from time to time, and he’s just one of the nicer guys you’re ever going to meet in any profession, but he’s definitely one of the really nice guys in the sport, and a great athlete too — that doesn’t hurt.” Vigil says he’s honored to be selected for the Hall of Fame, but feels there are a lot of people who should have been ahead of him. Boulder, when he lived and trained here (he lives in Loveland now), was a who’s who of the best of runners, and many of them crowded around that trailer and Quiller’s coaching — including Gary Bjorkland, who will also be inducted into the Running Hall of Fame this year, as will Quiller himself. “As a runner, I think if you can gravitate to those kinds of people who will support your passions at all costs, it will make you a better runner,” he says. Vigil credits the synergy of all these great runners — and the incredible trainers — coming together and training together, pushing one another, with his own development as a runner. Without them, it might have been the guitar that ate all those hours, instead of feet crossing trails and running up mountains. The induction ceremony will be held at 6 p.m. on April 19 at the Denver Athletic Club. Tickets on Colorado Colfax marathon website. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

March 29, 2012 27

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he Race Across America route crosses 3,000 miles from coast to coast, Oceanside, Calif., to Annapolis, Md., with 170,000 feet of climbing. Solo racers have 12 days to complete the course. The distance they’ll ride is half again as long as the Tour de France, completed with no rest. “The clock starts at Oceanside and doesn’t turn off until you reach Annapolis,” says Race Across America President Fred Boethling of Boulder, who raced with a team (there is a nine-day limit for teams to complete the course) in 2005 and as a solo racer in 2006. “It is a very difficult race, make no mistake about it, and it takes its toll on both the racers and crew,” Boethling says. “The thing to keep in mind is the really fast solo racers at the front of the race are going to make that crossing in a little over eight days. The fast teams in the relay style, they can make that crossing in a little over five days. They don’t stop, they go 24 hours a day around the clock. Solo racers will sleep anywhere from an hour and a half to three hours a night.” The nightmare has been recorded in the documentary Bicycle Dreams, which screens at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, March 29, and Friday, March 30, at the Dairy Center for the Arts. Bicycle Dreams “is an up-close look at what RAAM riders go through,” director and producer Stephen Auerbach said in a press release. “They deal with searing desert heat, agonizing mountain climbs and endless stretches of open road. And they do it all while battling extreme exhaustion and sleep deprivation.” Boethling, who bought the race in 2007, will introduce the film at the Dairy Center screening. “By the time you’re at the end of the race, you have everyone at the finish line, it’s just an incredible sense of joy and accomplishment,” Boethling says. “We’ve watched a lot of people finish the race and the range of emotions is just amazing.” For Boethling, pedaling to the finish line, there were dueling responses. “When I was riding the last 250 miles into the finish, I had these two thoughts running through my head,” Boethling says. “One was ‘Oh my gosh, I’m glad this is over,’ but the other was, ‘I could do this faster, I know how to take time off, I could take an hour off here or an hour off there.’” Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Got a dream? Going to the Woods Insight Meditation Retreat

With Mary Powell, Grove Burnett and Peter Williams May 22-28, 2012 Located west of Taos, deep in the Tusas Mountains, one of the most magnificent mountain landscapes in New Mexico 575.751.9613 28 March 29, 2012

he American Alpine Club has launched a series of “Live Your Dream Grants” to support climbers with ambitions for their own improvement and experiences as climbers. Sport, trad and ice climbers, boulderers and mountaineers are invited to apply for these $300 to $1,000 grants for funding to spur them into that first big wall trip, travel to a competition, attempt an iconic route or visit a classic climbing destination. Professional climbers and sponsored climbers are not eligible. The grants are among several new opportunities launched this year as part of the American Alpine Club’s move to make its resources more accessible, which will include increased digital access to their extensive library, a new annual publication and doubled coverage for their rescue insurance holders. Grant applications for the Rocky Mountain region, available at americanalpineclub.org/grants, opened on March 21 and will close May 1. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

inside Page 36 /

Overtones:

Taking out the thrash

Page 39 / Arts and Culture: He came, he saw, he kvetched

Page 42 / Cuisine:

Dressing up your drinks for spring

buzz cuts

“Mimbres: The Archaeology Behind the Pottery” explores the culture behind the famed 11th century pottery from southwestern New Mexico. April 4 at the University of Colorado Museum of Natural History.

THURSDAY, MARCH 29

Blackalicious & Phife Dawg — With The Reminders and Proximity. 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-4433399.

FRIDAY, MARCH 30

B.L.A.M. — Beer Local Art & Music, with DJ Whitness and gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. 5 p.m. FACTORYmade Creative Goods, 2000 21st St., Boulder, factorymadeboulder. com.

SATURDAY, MARCH 31

American Spring: 99% Rising — The Occupy movement and other groups reassemble with this rally and march. 11 a.m. Broadway and Canyon, Boulder.

SUNDAY, APRIL 1

Wild Road — 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

MONDAY, APRIL 2

Open Mic — Check out what musical talent this tiny mining town has to offer. 5 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

TUESDAY, APRIL 3

Aesthetics of Editing — What film footage to keep, and what to leave on the cutting room floor. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4

Mimbres: The Archaeology Behind the Pottery — With Steve Lekson, Ph.D. 7 p.m. The University of Colorado Museum of Natural History, Henderson Building, 15th and Broadway, CU campus, Boulder, 303-492-6892.

s the opening date for Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s long-awaited return to the Alien mythos, approaches, we are reminded of that elegantly ominous scene in the original: after Yaphet Kotto has right-crossed Ash’s cyber-head off its twitching body, the crew members prop it up to interrogate it on its knowledge of the creature lurking in the spaceship’s shiny-dark, Giger-crafted bowels. He describes the thing as the consummate predator, unencumbered by delusions of morality or mercy, unlikeable and un-killable, the perfect organism. Repulsed by his chilly appreciation for the thing, Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley sneers, “You admire it.” “I admire its purity,” Ash laments, eyes cast away in confessional shame, milky cyber-goo gurgling from his mouth. (And then they blowtorch the head.) We were recently granted audience with Oderous Urungus from GWAR’s Slave Pit headquarters in Richmond, Va. Urungus had not long before announced that the European leg of their latest assault had been whacked (out of fear, presumably). We asked if there was a sense of letdown in the Swarm. “No, not at all,” boomed Urungus. “They’re not, y’know, quite so witted over there; they can’t handle anything remotely with a sense of humor. If they think for a moment you’re making fun of them, then you become immediately uncool. And they just don’t understand our Americanized sense of humor. I mean, it’s not like we wanted to slog around

ON THE BILL: GWAR plays the Fox Theatre on Saturday, March 31. Doors at 7:30 p.m. Municipal Waste, Ghoul and Legacy of Disorder also play. Tickets are $25. 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

see GWAR Page 31

30 March 29, 2012

Boulder Weekly

GWAR from Page 30

Boulder Weekly

Ca m pu

Brockie is as much a fan as he is a performer, and he respects his audience. “It was always easy for us,” Brockie says, “because we just never bullshit people. And it might sound strange coming from Oderus, but as long as the music is always honest, and reflects how we really feel, then it’s never going to be bullshit. It’s when you start makin’ shit up, that’s when you’re going to get called out.” And for those who have followed the band’s career, the band’s latest offering, 2010’s Bloody Pit Of Horror, came as a resounding success, belying the usual W n Cbets o y againstOan outfit with such a lengthy hisPEN r Libra atsuch Noralincounter-intuitively tory, playing in discriminating arena. The band had toured hard and successfully behind its predecessor Lust In Space, and Urungus says Horror arrived more or less fully formed. “We had just finished Lust In Space, and we wanted to get into the studio immediately, it was our big studio anniversary [25 years], so we wanted to put out two records in that two-year period, but we really didn’t have the material. Then Flattus [Maximus, guitarist Cory Smoot], goes, ‘Oh, well I kind of have this whole thing written already.’ So it was just a matter of arranging the lyrics and getting into the studio. It was an amazing experience.” In November of last year, just as the band was getting ready to drive into Canada to continue their fall tour, Smoot was found dead on the band’s tour bus, the victim of coronary artery thrombosis stemming from pre-existing coronary artery disease. With the blessing of Smoot’s family, the band decided to soldier on as a four-piece, staging a Smoot family benefit in Richmond and dedicating the rest of the tour to Smoot, with guitarist Balsac (Derks) picking up Smoot’s fleet guitar parts. “He was a huge part of our music … but we are just continuing as a fourpiece. Balsac’s guitar is more than adequate to make a hideous noise, not one that will ever fill the fissure that will always remain in our hearts for Flattus’ sweetly hideous sounds, but we felt it was the best way to give a tribute to our fallen scumdog brother.” Urungus had peasants to terrorize, so in parting we asked if GWAR, whose stage shows regularly test the limits of — ahem — common decency, were actually banned anywhere. “No,” he says, pondering a bit. “They gave up trying to ban us, because when they tried we would just go there anyway. They found out that the best way to get GWAR not to play in their city is just to give us really bad directions.” Yes, Ripley, we admire the thing. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

England and play in a bunch of shitty, tube-smeared rock ’n’ roll clubs. We’d much rather play in America, to a couple of thousand people and fuckin’ huge happy festivals and do things like travel all the time and make absolutely no money. “They don’t appreciate GWAR in Europe, and quite simply, we’re not going to go back until they do.” Take that, cheese eaters. Fronting the greatest rock theater in the universe, Urungus is faithfully attended to by longtime Richmond metal slacker and vocalist of uncommon distinction Dave Brockie, who assembled the outfit as an experimental shock-metal project back in 1984. While the band has undergone countless personnel changes, each member given a new character in the crack-munching, violence-mongering GWAR ethos, the core of the band — Brockie, guitarist Mike Derks (Balsac The Jaws Of Death) and drummer Brad Roberts ( Jizmak Da Gusha) — has endured since about 1990. That year marked the release of the band’s roundly acclaimed masterstroke Scumdogs Of The Universe, eventually even copping Grammy nominations twice in the 1990s (losing one of them to, of all people, Annie Lennox.) And if the gruesome visage of the alien-beast gang staggered audiences into stunned bewilderment, GWAR’s musical assault, keened from a potent blend of period death-metal and SST-era punk and framed by blasts of lyrical content poison-tipped to offend pretty much anybody fluent in the English language, left little doubt that ugly dogs could hunt, too. If GWAR was birthed as satire, it lasted long enough to burst through the chest of novelty. And while metal relives another commercial resurgence as a sanctuary from industry poseurs and popflits, GWAR remains the unkillable beast, patiently swinging its spiked tail, awaiting the faithful and acolyte alike to goathorn in abject surrender. While Brockie and Urungus share a common corpus, it’s a little mystifying at times which one to address and which one responds, until it becomes self-evident that they’re really kind of the same organism. “Well, yeah, there’s really no other band that sounds like us,” Brockie says, “and a lot of that has to do with the vocals. But really, the thing is, we never tried to be a metal band, never tried to be a punk rock band. We always just tried to be a heavy band, and write what we felt we should write. It’s always been a very natural experience.” Metal fans, to their undying credit, have an uncanny knack for sniffing out posturing phoniness and empty gestures. A pitiless trade, and a tough business, but

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Boulder Weekly

overtones

Deborah Lopez

hen singer-songwriter-guitarist Mike Doughty left Soul Coughing, the band he formed through sweat, drugs and willpower, the group was at the peak of its popularity. “Circles,” a pleasantly poppy track from the band’s third album El Oso, was getting mainstream radio play, and the band had experienced some major touring successes, including opening for the Dave Matthews Band at Madison Square Garden. But behind the facade of success, Doughty was seething. Struggles with his bandmates over songwriting rights and other clashes became a force that pushed him into deep and heavy drug use, withering his doughy frame to a mere 135 pounds. He quit the band, got clean and embarked on a solo career. Doughty has always been reticent to talk with journalists about his time in Soul Coughing, but that has changed now that he has written a memoir, The Book of Drugs, part of which details his side of the Soul Coughing story, cataloguing everything from petty slights to crass manipulations he suffered at the hands of his gifted yet clearly jealous bandmates. The rest of the book details his life from his military upbringing to his career as a solo artist, with drugs, sex and world travel in between. On his current tour, which stops at the Fox Theatre on Sunday, April 1, Doughty will read from The Book of Drugs and perform some songs on acoustic guitar. He will also, for the first time, take audience questions about his former band. Soul Coughing is now remembered as a quirky ’90s funky alt-rock band with a weird poet/singer and killer bass player. The music has an experimental feel to it, raw guitar parts strummed over urgent and driven acoustic bass lines and funky drum parts topped off with eerie-sounding samples and Doughty’s rapid-fire stream-of-consciousness poetry. “The Soul Coughing thing was an abusive marriage, essentially,” Doughty says. “A dark, emotionally violent, toxic situation.” The Book of Drugs details just how toxic that situation was. When Doughty met his bandmates though jam circles at famed NYC venue Knitting Factory, he was in his early 20s, and the other members of his band — sampler player Mark De Gli Antoni, upright bass player Sebastian Steinberg and drummer Yuval Gabay — were a decade older and far more established as musicians. Doughty says whatever musical chemistry the quartet had as a group, the members never meshed well with each other off stage. However you classify the relationship between Doughty and the rest of the band, they weren’t friends.

you’re with us. Some of it was a hustle, and some of it was just straight-up creepy delusion.” Doughty goes into greater detail in Drugs about how his bandmates treated him. The history still rubs him the wrong way, as evidenced by the ON THE BILL: Mike Doughty plays the Fox Theatre on Sunday, fact that he doesn’t April 1. Doors open at 8 p.m. Tickets refer to his Soul are $22, plus $2 for being under 21. Coughing band1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399. mates by name, only as “the bass player” or “the drummer.” Some of it is typical band stuff, clashing egos and conflicts over songwriting royalties, and some of it is some pretty dark stuff, such as when his band members proposed crediting their names without saying who played what instrument — so that, in Doughty’s words, people would look at the CD and “not know which name was the singer’s.” It pushed him into a “constant state of shivering rage,” Doughty writes of the move. To an outsider, leaving a group that was that well-established and well-regarded as Soul Coughing might seem like a tortuous one, but for Doughty it was liberating. “I felt this tremendous freedom and artistic satisfaction I had never felt before because I was my own man, and I finally felt like an artist, at last,” Doughty says. There was inevitable backlash. Soul Coughing fans called him out for not sticking it out with the group, and they reviled the new direction his music took, which Doughty calls a “musical 180” from his Soul Coughing stuff. Old fans were nonplussed, but a copy of his first solo album, Skittish, made it onto Napster and was pirated incessantly, birthing a small audience for his solo work. That small audience blossomed into a larger one that “And ‘co-workers’ is putting it politely, I think,” supported his solo work, to the point where Doughty says. “They were in their 30s, and I was 22 he now makes more money as a solo artist than he did when we played our first gig. And you know, they while in Soul Coughing. He’s about six solo albums in, mostly didn’t care. It was sort of the hardscrabble days and at his shows, he says, people have gradually of the old East Village, and everybody who played an stopped requesting Soul Coughing songs (which he instrument was playing in like 30 bands, just to afford says felt like a giant “fuck you”) and started yelling out the rent and a slice of pizza every other day. So you his solo stuff. know for them, I was 30 bucks on a Tuesday night.” “It took me a long time to have an audience that Things changed when the band got a record deal. really is listening to the solo songs. And it makes me “I always wanted to share something with them,” so happy, having spent so long where people will yell Doughty says. “I felt like everybody should own a out ‘Super Bon Bon,’ [from Soul Coughing’s piece of the band and a piece of the songs, the majori- Irresistible Bliss] and me having to tell them that I ty of which they didn’t write. I wrote a lot of those don’t play Soul Coughing songs,” Doughty says. songs before I met those guys. But they wanted some“I look at what I’m doing and I am just happy thing absolutely equal. They had this tremendous with it in a way I was never happy with the music I spite for me that just looks pathological to me from made during the ’90s,” he says. “And it’s very strange this vantage. But they essentially told me, you’re not to sort of have this albatross of a history of music that particularly important to this band. You’re a guy, and I just dislike, just straight-up do not like.” you’re not really very good, and you got lucky and Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Coughing up something nasty

Mike Doughty’s memoir explores his troubled past with his old band by David Accomazzo

Boulder Weekly

March 29, 2012 35

overtones

Photo courtesy of Freeman Promotions

Taking out the thrash

Municipal Waste establishes itself as a stylistic bellwether by Chris Parker

ow can you have an ’80s As the title suggests, the album’s a snarky revival without inviting the ode to late-night shenanigans characterskaters? You can’t, which is ized by tracks like “Beer Pressure,” why over the last half-dozen “Chemically Altered,” “A.D.D. (Attention years there’s been a thrash Deficit Destroyer),” and the macabre resurgence — a wave Richmond’s “Headbanger Face Rip.” Municipal Waste was out in front of by 2009’s Massive Aggressive is a response five years. Started in 2001, the quartet’s to the last album, mothballing their goofy proven one of the finest old-school exposide in favor of religious/political rage nents muscling sludgy metal breakdowns (“Divine Blasphemer,” “Relentless and racing hardcore rhythms through a Threat,” “Media Skeptic”). They bring mixture of politics and smart-ass humor. those two poles back in balance with their “We started from forthcoming fifth the ground up, and album, Fatal Feast (out when it blew up we April 10.). ON THE BILL: Municipal were already working “This album has Waste opens for GWAR at on our third record,” [some politics] but is the Fox Theatre on Saturday, March 31. Doors at 7:30 p.m. says frontman Tony more back to the Ghoul and Legacy of Foresta, who started the tongue-in-cheek humor. Disorder also play. Tickets are band with guitarist We wanted it to have all $25. 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399. Ryan Waste. “We were the elements from the like, ‘What? We’ve other albums we liked already been here! You and still tweaking it to guys are a little bit late.’” where it’s a classic Waste album,” he says. Their sound’s informed by underappre- “There’s a lot of the more humorous stuff, ciated classic acts like Suicidal Tendencies, the more serious stuff, the faster stuff, the D.R.I. and Corrosion of Conformity as rocking shit and even a Motörhead-y well as the Big Four (Metallica, Anthrax, song in there too. It’s a little different, but Slayer, Megadeth) with plenty of chugging, it’s still a Waste album, and you can tell.” heavily leaded riffage, thick pulsing The band was worn out after Massive rhythms and clean, relatively decipherable Aggressive and took extra time off. When lyrics. (No death-metal Cookie Monster the members returned, they decided to growls for them.) From the beginning produce their next album themselves. Four they’ve demonstrated a lot of creativity albums in, they’ve got a pretty good idea within the style’s narrow confines. what it should sound like and didn’t see Though their 2005 second album, the point in paying a producer to act as a Hazardous Mutation, attracted some buzz, middleman. Instead they used that money it was 2007’s Art of Partying that made on more studio time, spending nearly a them poster children for thrash’s renewal. year working somewhat leisurely on the

Boulder Symphony comes full circle

Headquartered back in town, group presents transformative music by Peter Alexander 36 March 29, 2012

Municipal Waste

album. They recorded the drum tracks at the studio of drummer Dave Witte’s old band, Burnt By the Sun, and the rest in Richmond not far from their house. “We spent as much money as the last time for probably twice as much time and took our time with everything and recorded way more material,” he says. “You can sit on it a little longer and listen to it to see if it’s the right thing or not. ... It was great to go into the studio for three hours a day then go hang out and do something else. It was way more relaxed.” They also changed labels after seven years and three albums with Earache, moving to German label Nuclear Blast. Earache rescued them from obscurity and first brought them across the pond after Hazardous Mutations, exposing them to the more voracious European audiences. They’re thankful, but it was time to move on. “We just needed to do something different. It was kind of getting stale,” Foresta says. “So it’s cool Nuke Blast came along. It was like nailing this new blonde.” Right now Foresta’s intent on nailing down their new set. They’ve been reaching back in the catalog and are looking to show everybody a fast-paced good time. “We’re going to play lots of hits and we’re bringing back some old shit we

he Boulder Symphony has returned from its Front Range migration. Having travelled through several other communities, the county’s community orchestra is back in Boulder with music director Devin Patrick Hughes. They will play “Transcendental Metamorphosis,” a concert featuring music of Charles Ives, Arvo Pärt, Brahms and Denver’s Conrad Kehn, at 7 p.m. Saturday in the First Presbyterian Church in Boulder.

haven’t played in years, like ‘Guilty of Being Tight.’ We’ve played it live about three, four times ever,” Foresta says. “It’s going to be one of our better sets we’ve played.” It better be. They’re opening for GWAR, whose fans are notoriously impatient about opening bands, often beginning to chant for them before the other bands are even finished. (It’s known as being “GWAR’d.”) “It’s kind of weird that I’m not worried, because I should be,” he says. He’s toured with them before, in an earlier, safer slot on the bill. “I think the GWAR crowd respects us differently than a lot of metalcore bands. … They know we’re from Richmond too and like brothers of GWAR. Hopefully there will be a mutual respect, but I know there are going to be some towns where it’s ‘fuck you.’” That’s OK with them. “People know what we’re doing is real. It’s not some gimmicky cash-in, and people of all ages appreciate it,” he says. “It’s all about whether your heart’s in and what you’re willing to put into it.” That suits Municipal Waste well, because they’re all in without even glancing at their hole card. That’s just how Municipal Waste rolls. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

The orchestra was founded in 1992 as the Boulder Community Orchestra. Later they moved out of Boulder, changed the name to Timberline Symphony, and eventually settled in Niwot. Two years ago, the orchestra came full circle when it found a home at the First Presbyterian Church in Boulder. Almost all members are unpaid, except for the string section principals and the music director. The 2011-12 season is called “The Season of Transformation.”

This idea takes two forms over the course of the year: music that is in some way about transformations, including death and rebirth; and music that is stylistically transformative. For the first category, the concert on Saturday includes Ives’ mystical masterpiece The Unanswered Question and Cantus in Memory of Benjamin Britten by Pärt. Music of stylistic change is represented through the season by Brahms: the choral work Nänie and the Serenade No. 2 for small Boulder Weekly

overtones

performs “Transcendental Metamorphosis” on Saturday, March 31, at the First Presbyterian Church in Boulder. Show starts at 7 p.m. The Playground Ensemble will join for the finale. Saturday, March 31, at 7 p.m. Tickets are $15 for general admission, with discounts for students and seniors. For information and tickets, visit bouldersymphony.org/tickets/our-currentseason.

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bOdywORk ThAT LASTS orchestra on earlier concerts and the Fourth Symphony on Saturday. Combing both programming threads, the season will close with Brahms’ German Requiem. Brahms is often regarded as a conservative figure in the 19th century: He embraced traditional forms and rejected the more radical ideas of his time. And yet, “I think he changed the whole course of music history,” Hughes says. “He was accessing realms that other composers could never imagine. There’s no piece that’s more indicative of this than the Fourth Symphony.” Among the more radical aspects of the Fourth, Hughes listed the minor-key ending — “a full out-and-out tragedy that does not redeem itself ” — at a time when minor-key works were expected to switch to the major in order to end triumphantly (think Beethoven’s Fifth). Also unexpected in the Romantic era was the use of the antique passacaglia form for the finale, a kind of theme and variations built on an unchanging bass line. This was an uncharacteristically austere gesture for a symphony, and one that reflected Brahms’ extensive knowledge of older music. Pärt wrote his Cantus in 1978, when he learned that composer Benjamin Britten had died. “The strings start very quietly and they just simply do a descending A-minor scale,” Hughes explains. “It crescendos for about six minutes into triple forte, all a descent into the darkest bottoms of human existence, with an orchestral chime on A the whole time. Right before the end the bell dings one last time, and when the strings cut off, you hear the overtone of the bell, which is very redeeming.” This unexpectedly positive ending suggests that the piece is truly about transformation, from death to the possibility of rebirth. The transcendentalism of the concert’s title comes from Ives’ Unanswered Question. “Ives considered himself a Boulder Weekly

transcendentalist,” Hughes says. “The piece asks the rhetorical question of why are we here. “It asks the question with the trumpet. The strings are the ‘druids’ of this whole existence: they have beautifully tonal lines and harmonies. And the flutes are mocking the question with extremely dissonant harmonies. By the end you can see their mocking transforming into complete gibberish.” The final work on the program is the world premiere of Playgrosso: Concerto for Playground and Orchestra by Kehn, founding director of Playground Ensemble. A group of professional musicians who are artists-in-residence at the University of Denver’s Lamont School of Music, Playground comprises 14 musicians performing a variety of instruments. As the title playfully suggests, Playgrosso is a revival of the Baroque concerto grosso for multiple soloists with orchestra. A “grosso” is a form in which a musical theme is passed from the soloists to the orchestra. “We were trying to figure out how can we bridge these two groups together,” Hughes says. “We thought that we could feature some of their musicians up front, and have the rest be comprised of the Boulder Symphony, and that would be a cool way to have both groups together.” Playgrosso features three members of Playground as soloists: Brian Ebert on bass clarinet, Reggie Berg on piano and Sarah Johnson on violin. The score includes some contemporary techniques including aleatory (use of chance in music) and wind instruments making percussive sounds, along with more traditional sections for the soloists and for the orchestra. Since it’s a completely new piece, it’s a little early to know if Playgrosso will be transformative. But in keeping with the Playground Ensemble’s name, it certainly sounds like fun. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Call 720.878.2888 for appointment 3055 47th St., www.GetRolfing.com

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Music, Movies, Modern Art, Munchies and Marvelous Refreshments Friday, April 6,2012 — The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut Street, Boulder Doors open at 6:30PM for Food and Art; Show begins at 7:30PM This special evening of everything local features SHORT FILMS by Boulder County filmmakers, bookended by LIVE MUSIC from Rebecca Folsom, Ash Ganley, and Lisa Bell. ONE-OF-A-KIND ART by Pamela Olson, Kelly Shanafelt, Linda Parks and Carlentini Jewelry will be featured in the lobby, and LOCAL FOOD & BEVERAGES by Top of the Hill Grill and Shamane’s Bake Shoppe will be available for sale before the show and during intermission. The best of Boulder’s NATURAL PRODUCTS companies will also be on display.

More info & tickets: www.mmmmmBoulder.com This project funded in part by Boulder County Arts Alliance through the BCAA/Neodata Endowment Grant program and through a grant from the Boulder Arts Commission, an agency of the Boulder City Council.

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Boulder Weekly

arts & culture

Photo courtesy of Tracy Cravens

Top row: Jim Porter, Elaine Niesen. Bottom: Sara Harvey & Connor Magyar

He came, he saw, he kvetched Cantankerous curmudgeon comically cudgels citizenry by Gary Zeidner

magine if, by some twist of fate, Brad Pitt cessful businessman whose patience with accepted an invitation to dinner at your home Mr. Whiteside’s ever-more-onerous some wintry evening. Further imagine that as intrusion quickly dwindles. Wife and Mr. Pitt was reaching for your doorbell he mother Daisy (Elaine Niesen) comports slipped on a patch of ice and broke his hip. herself as a paragon of Midwestern civiliThen, just for fun, imagine that the doctor — who in ty, but she is utterly overmatched by this fantasy world actually made a house call — diag- Whiteside’s bluster. The Stanley children, nosed Brad’s condition as too delicate for travel and June (Sara Harvey) and Richard (Connor confined him to your home for at least a two-week Magyar), see Whiteside less as an impoconvalescence. sition and more as a mentor who may be Now replace Brad Pitt with a Rush Limbaugh able to help them with the significant life fresh out of Oxycontin, and you have some idea of choices they each face. The Stanleys are the horror that befalls the Stanley rounded out by odd family in The Man Who Came to Aunt Harriet (Maureen ON THE BILL: The Man Dinner. Cassulo — stealing every Who Came to Dinner plays Originally produced in 1939 and one of her scenes). at the Longmont Theatre since adapted for radio, television As Whiteside, or Company, 513 Main St., through March 31. Tickets Sherry, as he is often called by those and the big screen, The Man Who are $15-$17. For tickets or closest to him, attempts to rule over Came to Dinner has proven itself information, call 303-772his global media empire via teledeserving of the label “classic.” Yet, 5200 or visit www.longmonttheatre.org. phone and telegraph while confined until now, I have never seen it live on to a wheelchair in Ohio, he is assiststage, so I want to give a great, big ed by his loyal secretary, Maggie “Thank you!” to the Longmont Cutler (Stephany Roscoe), an hilariously put-upon Theatre Company for bringing George S. Kaufman nurse, Miss Preen (Sally Sandoe) and the local sawand Moss Hart’s comic crucible to Boulder County. bones/would-be playwright, Dr. Bradley (Roger LTC does the play justice and delivers an affable, traBolan). As the only person in the known universe ditional take on the material. who Whiteside can’t bully into submission, Maggie is Set in small-town Ohio in the weeks leading up to Christmas 1939, The Man Who Came to Dinner indispensable both to him and to the play. It is only gives us one of the earliest male divas in radio show when she finds herself in deep smit to local newspahost and acid-tongued commentator on any and perman Bert Jefferson (Dan Kushmaul — evoking everything, Sheridan Whiteside (Byron Thompson). more than once the PC character from the Apple Incredibly intelligent, insightful and witty, Whiteside commercials) that the central conflict of the play is also a tyrant of Nero-ian proportions. After his comes into focus and the action begins to move along unfortunate slip-and-fall, he not only takes over his at a brisker clip. hosts’ home, he jovially informs them that he will be A famous, fatuous actress, Lorraine Sheldon suing them for an exorbitant amount of damages as (Brandy McGreer), blows into town with an agenda well. all her own, but she is soon turned to Whiteside’s Whiteside’s increasingly unwilling hosts are the devices. Rounding out the key figures, Marcus Turner Stanley family. Father Ernest ( Jim Porter) is a sucplays Beverly Carlton, a friend of Whiteside and

nemesis of Lorraine Sheldon, and Arnie Follendorf plays the two goofiest supporting roles, the Einsteinlike entomologist, Professor Metz, and the halfinsane aviator, Banjo. It is unclear from the program notes whether this is Byron Thompson’s first appearance on the Longmont Theatre Company’s stage or his first appearance on any stage, but either way this school teacher deserves high marks. As Whiteside, Thompson is on stage virtually every minute, and he is the center of the action the vast majority of the time. With a commanding presence and mellifluous voice, Thompson holds the audience’s attention through every venomous attack and contemptuous pause. I could have done with a bit more modulation of his stentorian delivery, but I suppose that’s why an A-plus is so hard to come by. Presented in its original three-act structure, The Man Who Came to Dinner may be a bit overlong for children or adults prone to fidgety distraction, but it should satisfy anyone else looking for some old-timey laughs. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Moreland & Arbuckle Thurs Mar 29 7:30-10pm $10 /adv, $15/door

Young Austin Blues Jams Every Tuesday & 2nd & 4th Sunday Jazz Jams Every 1st & 3rd Sunday PlayErS WElcomE Boulder Weekly

And No Difference Sat Mar 31 8-10:30pm $5 cover

Maynard Mills Band Fri Mar 30 8:00-10:30pm

The Artful Dodgers Thurs April 5 7:30-10pm

March 29, 2012 39

Just AnnouncED

just announced

mAy 17 .............................................................................. mAriAchi El bronx

MAy 25 .......... upriGht citiZens briGAde tourinG coMpAny juLy 13 ........................ dAvid GrisMAn bLueGrAss experience

thurs. mAr 29 8:30 pm roostEr mAGAzinE prEsEnts

thurs. mar 29 7:30 Pm

blAckAlicious & phiFE DAwG seun kuti & egypt 80 (oF A tribE cAllED quEst) w/ thE rEminDErs KGnu, colorado daily and twist & shout Present

AtomgA

Fri. mAr 30 8:30 pm

Fri. mar 30 8:30 Pm

thE solution & rADio 1190 prEsEnt unExpEctED Victory tour Ft.

colorado daily Presents

rAEkwon & FrEDDiE Gibbs

JD ErA, koFi blAck & FlowAlition

sunsquAbi & dynoHunter

sAt. mAr 31 7:30 pm

sat. mar 31 8:00 Pm

106.7 kbpi mEtAlix & thE onion prEsEnt

KGnu, Boulder weeKly and twist & shout Present

GwAr

municipAl wAstE, Ghoul & lEGAcy oF DisorDEr sun. Apr 1 8:00 pm chAnnEl 93.3, boulDEr wEEkly AnD twist & shout prEsEnt

mikE DouGhty, thE book oF DruGs rEADinG, concErt AnD q&A tuEs. Apr 3 8:30 pm colorADo DAily & 1190’s bAsEmEntAlism prEsEnt

bliss n Eso & biG b illmAculAtE (oF sAnDpEoplE) wED. Apr 4 8:30 pm colorADo DAily prEsEnts

DEV

wyntEr GorDon thurs. Apr 5 8:00 pm

tHe greyboy AllstArs ft. fred wesley perform “west coAst boogAloo” w/ orgone thurs. aPr 5 8:00 Pm KGnu & westword Present

explosions in tHe sky ZAmmuto

Fri. aPr 6 8:00 Pm Boulder weeKly Presents

sHpHongle presents tHe mAsquerAde pHutereprimitive wed. aPr 11 7:00 Pm

pAA kow’s by All meAns bAnd cd releAse w/ logo ligi thurs. aPr 12 6:30 Pm

kAtchAFirE

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sAt. Apr 7 8:30 pm

97.3 KBco, Boulder weeKly and twist & shout Present

boulDEr wEEkly, 1190’s ruDE boy rEGGAE AnD twist & shout prEsEnt

common kinGs, k’noVA & pAssAFirE thissonGissick.com & colorADo DAily prEsEnt

ADVEnturE club cry wolF

tuEs. Apr 10 8:30 pm rED bull & colorADo DAily prEsEnt

sbtrkt

wED. Apr 11 8:30 pm roostEr mAGAzinE prEsEnts

mAcklEmorE & ryAn lEwis

mthDs, xpEriEncE & shElton hArris Fri. Apr 13 8:30 pm colorADo DAily, rADio 1190 AnD twist & shout prEsEnt

cults

spEctrAls & mrs. mAGiciAn sAt. Apr 14 8:30 pm siErrA nEVADA & colorADo DAily prEsEnt

thE blAck sEEDs & rubblEbuckEt Apr 19 ........................................................................................................ Air DubAi Apr 20 .............................................................................................. Akron/FAmily Apr 21 .................................................................................................... DAs rAcist Apr 25 .......................................................................................................... EmAlkAy Apr 26 ........ FrAnkEnstEin brothErs Ft. buckEthEAD & thAt 1 Guy Apr 27 ................................................................................... mEn & DJ sprinklEs Apr 28 ..................................................................................................... lAmbchop mAy 1 ..................................................................................................... DEltA spirit mAy 4 ...................................................................................................... AuGustAnA

40 March 29, 2012

octopus nebulA & HeyokA

Fri. aPr 13 7:30 Pm

tHe trAvelin’ mccourys ft. keller williAms HeAd for tHe Hills Fri. aPr 20 7:30 Pm Boulder weeKly Film series Presents

movie: mArley

life story of bob mArley sat. aPr 21 8:00 Pm sierra nevada, KGnu, Boulder weeKly & elevations credit union Present

tHe motet: funk is deAd thurs. aPr 26 7:30 Pm

KGnu Boulder weeKly and twist & shout Present

todd snider reed foeHl

sun. aPr 29 6:30 Pm 106.7 KBPi Presents

clutcH & HellyeAH Apr 25 ............................................................................................ LAurie Anderson Apr 27 .............................................. Microbreweries for the environMent MAy 5 ....................................................................................... dAn ZAnes & friends MAy 11 .......................................trevor hALL: Music, stories & inspirAtion MAy 13 ................................................................. GrAndMothers of invention MAy 17 ....................................................................................trAMpLed by turtLes MAy 18 ..................................... bouLder roots & bLues suMMit: tAj MAhAL MAy 19 ......................................... bouLder roots & bLues suMMit: Keb’ Mo’ june 1 .............................................................................................................. bodeAns jun 2 ..................................... the weir, robinson & Greene Acoustic trio jun 20 .............................................................................................. coLLective souL

Boulder Weekly

Thursday, March 29 music Acoustic Jam. 6:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108. Acoustic Open Mic Night. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. Adam Bodine Trio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720406-9696. Blackalicious & Phife Dawg — With The Reminders and Proximity. 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399. Colorado Grassroots Hip Hop. 9 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683. Goodrattle. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-4404628. J. Wagner. 8 p.m. The Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. Johnny O. 5:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400. Max Wagner. 7 p.m. Cuvée, 946 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-0475. Moreland & Arbuckle. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-4433322 Pelta-Tiller duo –– With David and Enion from Taarka. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985. Rogue Sound. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-4491922.

SEE FULL PANORAMA LISTINGS ONLINE To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@boulderweekly.com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Seun Kuti & Egypt 80 –– With Atomga. 8:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. Thumpin’ — Ladies Night Dance Party. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Tony Furtado. 9 p.m. Shine, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

events Bicycle Dreams — A documentary on the Race Acress America. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Exploring Spiritism — Sleep & Dreams. 7 p.m. The Caritas Spiritist Center, 5723 Arapahoe Ave., Suite 1A, Boulder, 303-449-3066.

303-443-3322.

Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

Healing Space — 15-minute mini-healings with Alan McAllister. 11 a.m. - 1 p.m., Whole Being Explorations, 1800 30th St., Suite 307, Boulder, 303-5455562.

Monocle. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

The Greyboy Allstars –– Feat. Fred Wesley, with Orgone. 8:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Modern West or Western Modern? — Clyfford Still and the Art of the American West. 6:30 pm. Schlessman Hall at the Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave., Denver, 720-865-5000.

Owen and his Checkered Past. 6 p.m. The Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Jesse Manley Band — With Days of Rae. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Raekwon & Freddie Gibbs — With JD Era, Kofi Black and Flowalition. 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

Julio Perez, Rachel Frances, Josh Abeyta, Gracie Sprague. 7 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Selassee. 7 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Kort McCumber. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Rd., Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Production and Lighting Techniques for Video. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276. Veterans to Farmers Benefit — With former elite South African Special Forces Soldier Reon Schutte and Denver Mayor Michael B. Hancock. 6 p.m. Bug Theatre, 3654 Navajo St., Denver, www.veteranstofarmers.com.

Friday, March 30 music Carry Me Ohio. 7:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108. Claire Lynch Band — With Finnders & Youngberg. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003. Deja Blu. 7:30 p.m. The Event Center at Church Ranch, 10200 Old Wadsworth Blvd., Broomfield, 303-404-3777. Dikki du and the Zydeco Krewe. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Dr. Robert — Beatles tribute band. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400. The Ghostowners. 7 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-4636683. Happy Hour Jazz — With Peter Lorenzen and Devin O’Toole. 4 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628. The Indulgers. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. John Lucy and The Nite Cats. 8 p.m. The Rib House, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-442-RIBS.

Octopus Nebula & Heyoka –– With Sunsquabi and Dynohunter. 8:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Sherrie Scott. 7 p.m. Cuvée, 946 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-0475. Stuart Davis. 8 p.m. Shine, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. Under a Blood Red Sky. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303665-2757.

events

Martin Zellar — With Charlie Parr. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003. Musical Soirée with Alfredo Muro — Boulder Chamber Orchestra. 7:30 p.m. First Congregational Church of Boulder, 1128 Pine St., Boulder, 303-5831278.

Bicycle Dreams — A documentary on the Race Acress America. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Patti Fiasco. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-8236685.

B.L.A.M. — Beer Local Art & Music. 5 p.m. FACTORYmade Creative Goods, 2000 21st St., Boulder, factorymadeboulder.com.

Quemando salsa dance party. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Saturday, March 31

White Flag Raised. 7:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108.

music Ayo Awosika. 7 p.m. Cuvée, 946 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-0475. Chimney Choir. 8 p.m. The Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. Don from Gasoline Lollipops. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303993-2094. Earth Hour — with Trio Con Brio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Erik Boa and the Constrictors. 7 p.m. Notchtop Cafe, 459 E. Wonderview Ave., Estes Park, 970-586-0272.

Max Davies, Maudlin Magpie & Christopher Paul Stelling. 4 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Girls on Top! 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Boulder Weekly

Kort McCumber Band. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-4491922.

Adobe Dreamweaver Hands-On Intensive. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

The Joints. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Maynard Mills Band. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder,

Janis Kelly. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

GWAR — With Municipal Waste, Ghoul, and Legacy of Disorder. 8 p.m. Fox

Young Austin –– With No Difference. 8 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

events. American Spring: 99% Rising — Rally and march. 11 a.m. Broadway and Canyon, Boulder. The Breathing Life Workshop — With Danae Shanti. 11 a.m. Shine, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. Climb On! Celebrate Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Month. 12-2 p.m. or 2-4 p.m. The Spot Bouldering Gym, 3240 Prairie Ave., Boulder, 303-444-6121. Peacemaker of the Year Awards Ceremony — Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center honors Leslie Glustrom, Renewables Yes! and Boulder Earth Guardians. 3-5:30 p.m. Boulder Friends Meeting, 1825 Upland Ave., Boulder,

March 29, 2012 41

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• Green certified cleaning products • • Tools and equipment • • Rental machines for carpet and hard floors • • Expert Advice •

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Aurelius Rune, Ashley Williams. NCAR Mesa Laboratory, 1850 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303-4972408.Through March 31.

We believe in: Human interaction Listening to you Matching needs to solutions Seeking cleaning innovations Being “productively off center”

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arts

Ashley Williams at NCAR Gallery II

•

Colorado Abstract Expressionism. Kirkland Museum, 1311 Pearl St., Denver, 303-832-8576. Through April 1.

John Perreault and Mark Van Wagner’s Drawings from Sand. Naropa University, Lincoln Gallery, 2130 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303875-6879. Through May 15.

Visit our showroom mon-fri 9 to 5, sat 9-noon

EcoCreations — An exhibit of art from recycled materials. The Muse Gallery, 356 Main St., Longmont, 303-

1053 Neon Forest Circle Longmont 720-494-2525 www.jaguarclean.com

303-444-6981 x1. The Power of Preparedness in Your Hands — CPR preparedness one-hour workshops. 9 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 12 p.m. The COP Shop, 407 S Broadway, Suite 500, Denver, www.coloradoredcross.org Salsa Lessons and Dancing. 8:30 p.m. Millennium Harvest House Hotel, 1345 28th St., Boulder, 303-998-3805. Tea Social — Gardening Know-How for Spring. Willow Way, 6481 N. 63rd St., Niwot, 303-530-1415. Work, Sex, Money: Real life on the Path of Mindfulness. 2-5 p.m. Boulder Shambhala Center, 1345 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-444-0190.

Sunday, April 1

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Leon Loughridge. Mary Williams Fine Arts, 5311 Western Ave., Unit 112, Boulder, 303-938-1588. Through April 30. Red Light — Tragic Beauties and Other Objects of Desire. manifest ART gallery, 108 2nd Ave., Niwot, 303-652-0952. Through April 7. Tammi Otis. SmithKlein Gallery, 1116 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-7200. Viviane Le Courtois’ Edible? and Jason Rogenes’ Sp4c3cr4ft. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-4432122. Through June 17.

Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-4859400. eTown: Young the Giant and Civil Twilight. 6 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. The Hip Replacements. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Jazz Jam — With Mark Diamond. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., 303-443-3322. NuMundo. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628. Open Stage. 9 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-939-9900.

music

School of Rock. 2 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Acoustic Jam. 3 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Wild Road. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made

events

theater

ALL AGES

SHOW 9 PM

SUN APR 1

678-7869. Through April 21.

Square Product Theatre presents 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche

5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche. Square Product Theatre, The Wesley Chapel, 1290 Folsom St., Boulder, squareproducttheatre. org. Through April 28. Chess. The Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200. Through April 15. The Drowsy Chaperone. Boulder’s

Dinner Theater, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through May 13. Tommy Lee Jones Goes to the Opera Alone. Buntport Theater, 717 Lipan St., Denver, 720-946-1388. Through April 14. Way Out West in a Dress. Theater Company of Lafayette, Mary Miller Theater, 300 E. Simpson St., Lafayette, 720-209-2154. Through March 31.

Boulder Weekly

This week at

panorama

boulderweekly.com

Derech Chayim — “A Way of Life” 6 p.m. Boulder’s Rabbinic Council at Har Hashem Congregation, 3950 Baseline Rd., Boulder, contact Jodi for more details at 503-780-7470. Mike Doughty, The Book of Drugs — Reading, concert, Q&A. 8 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

TOP 10 STORIES

Week of March 22-28 1. Act legalizes cottage chefs Farmers have a new revenue stream to tap into this year, and as a result, their customers will have some things to look forward to as well, like homemade jams, baked goods, dehydrated soup mixes and fruit butters. 2. Knocked out but still standing

Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5:30 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Salsa Dancing. 8 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683. Understanding the Bees — Beekeeping Classes. 9 a.m. –12 p.m. Growing Gardens. 1630 Hawthorn St., Boulder, 303-443-9952.

Monday, April 2 music Brad Goode Jazz Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985. Electric Blues Jam. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-4859400.

3. Panorama (3/15)

Open Mic. 5 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

4. Racist Hunger Games fans are very disappointed

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108.

5. CU staff retire, double-dip, get paid, oh my!

Open Stage –– With Turtle. 6:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

6. Letters: Valmont is a dumping ground

events

7. Review: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros at Boulder Theater 8. The truth about On the Road 9. BIFF 2012: Bitter stories 10. Monsanto’s endless pipeline of bad ideas

Salsa Caliente Mondays. 8 p.m. lesson, 9 p.m. salsa, merengue, cha cha cha. The Rib House, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-442-RIBS. Web Design Transitions Certificate Program. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-8750276.

Tuesday, April 3

POLL

music

Last Week Do you think the Denver Broncos did the right thing in signing Peyton Manning and trading Tim Tebow? • Absolutely. It’s the best chance to win a Super Bowl! 47% • No way. Peyton is a risk, Tebow would have blossomed. 31% • Not sure. We’ll see. 20% • I’m a nerd and I hate football. 2% This Week What should be cut for disabilities funding? • Education. • Military. • Prisons. • Nothing. This Week Let private funding handle Should it. at-will CU instructors be

Bliss N Eso & Big B –– With Illmaculate. 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

given five-year contracts? BOULDERGANIC • Yes. Protect academic freedom! SPRING 2012 • No. Keep them on their In some ways, toes! this issue is a beginners’ • Maybeguide to to the world of Got gard keep the good ening on the SPRING 2012

Bringing self-suffi ciency and susta inability home

brain? gardening and sustainable living. But we’re also delving into why these issues matter and how our government and policies can support the food and energy systems we’d prefer. We’ve taken on some weightier issues in this spring’s Boulderganic, not to trouble an otherwise sunny and light season with the burden of politics, but in the hope that at the time of new beginnings, planning and digging into the dirt, you’ll take a turn at digging into the way we live and plan our lives. Planning an eco-friendly wedding How munic could affectipalization clean energ y Natural reme dies for seasonal allergies

Boulder Weekly

Blues Jam — With Dan Treanor. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., 303-443-3322. Bluegrass Pick. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Gasoline Lollipops. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. The Griffins. 6:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

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The Joints. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628. Lyons High School Jazz Band. 7 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Open Stage. 7:15 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Ron LeGault Trio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

events Barefoot Improv Jam Association — Public dance jam every Tuesday. 7:30-10:30 p.m.The Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Rd., Boulder, 720-934-2028. Healing Space — 15-minute mini-healings with Alan McAllister. 4-6 p.m., Whole Being Explorations, 1800 30th St., Suite 307, Boulder, 303-545-5562. Aesthetics of Editing. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Wednesday, April 4 music Bilbao. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. The Clamdaddys Transcendental Blues Jam. 7:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-4636683. Dev –– With Wynter Gordon. 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135

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Saturday, March 31 A Wild West History of Frontier Colorado — by Jolie Gallagher. 11 a.m. Barnes & Noble, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

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Michael Levell — Poetry reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore, 1203 13th St., Ste. A, Boulder, 303-579-1644.

Chomp — by Carl Hiaasen. 7 p.m. Tattered Cover, 1628 16th St., Denver, 303-322-7727.

4.20 All Strains On 4.20!

Thursday, March 29

Digging Snowmastodon — by Kirk Johnson, Ian Miller. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Join Us For Our Huge

$8.00 Grams

Eben Weiss reads from The Enlightened Cyclist on April 1 at the Boulder Book Store

Sunday, April 1 The Enlightened Cyclist — by

Eben Weiss. 3 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303447-2074. Monday, April 2 “So,You’re a Poet” — Ed Dorn birthday tribute reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628. Tuesday, April 3 Adrian Matejka. 6 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore, 1203 13th St., Ste. A, Boulder, 303-579-1644. Bouldering: Movement, Tactics and Problem Solving — by Peter Beal. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4472074. Wednesday, April 4 Falling in Love with a Buddha — by Frank Berliner. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Homegrown Singer/Songwriter — With Bonnie & Taylor Sims. 7 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Splat the Cat Storytime. 10 a.m. Barnes & Noble, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

Jessica Fichot — with Ryan Kirpatrick. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628. Open Bluegrass Pick. 8:30 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Vocal Journeys Spring Showcase. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

events Deadline for Boulder County Business Report’s Green Building Awards. www.bcbr.com

Saturday, March 31 Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. 1:30 p.m. Heritage Square Music Hall Children’s Theatre, located at 18301 W. Colfax D-103, Golden, 303-279-7800. Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Egg Hunt. 10 a.m. for ages 3-8. Waneka Lake Park, 1600 Caria Dr., and 11 a.m. for ages 1-2. Festival Plaza, 309 South Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0469.

Sunday, April 1

Chautauqua 2020 Stewardship Framework — Use and management of Chautauqua area with the Colorado Chautauqua Association. 6 p.m. Landmarks Board, Council Chambers, 1777 Broadway, and 6 p.m. Parks and Recreation Advisory Board, East Boulder Community Center, 5660 Sioux Dr., Boulder, 303-441-3134.

Go Club for Kids & Teens. 3:30 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

NanoDays. 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Wednesday Waltz Etcetera. 7 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-449-5962. WordPress - Creating Image Galleries. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Kids’ Calendar Thursday, March 29 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. NanoDays. 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Friday, March 30 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. NanoDays. 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum,

Monday, April 2 Musical Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Rise and Shine Storytime. 9:30 a.m. Barnes & Noble, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

Tuesday, April 3 Dance Bridge — Step to the Pulse. 11:30 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4413100. NanoDays. 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Wednesday, April 4 Dance Bridge — Step to the Pulse. 11:30 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4413100. French with Veronique. 10 a.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424. Storytime with Judy Volc. 10 a.m. Barnes & Noble, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

Boulder Weekly

March 29, 2012 45

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Boulder Weekly

screen Remake worth watching

The movie works, thanks to its oddcouple chemistry and artfully throwntogether air.

by Michael Phillips

ost of the big laughs in 21 Jump Street arrive in the first half, but take a moment to consider that phrase “big laughs.” What was the last stupid Hollywood comedy — good-stupid, not stupid-stupid — to offer actual, audible big laughs? Heartily raunchy and rather sweet, 21 Jump Street comes from the 1987-1991 Fox TV show, in which Johnny Depp and his incredible swirly hair led an ensemble of younglings playing barely legal police officers posing as high school students. The movie features Jonah Hill of Superbad and Moneyball co-starring with Channing Tatum. You can say a lot of things about 21 Jump Street. You can say Tatum is luckier than he is talented. You can say the humor isn’t for you. You can say you’re offended by the poster and advertising tag line, which captures the spirit of the thing but which we won’t repeat here, lest faint hearts and fair readers get the vapors. But the movie works, thanks to its odd-couple chemistry and artfully thrown-together air. Last week, while everyone was speculating whether Wall-E director Andrew Stanton could successfully deliver his first liveaction hit (answer: no) with John Carter, absolutely no one was speculating whether Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs co-directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller were up, or down, to the demands of their live-

action feature debut. They were, for the record. What puts 21 Jump Street ahead of the Starsky & Hutch movie a few years back, for example, is a simple matter of modesty and scale. Early on, Tatum’s character Jenko, stuck on bike patrol with his friend and partner Schmidt (Hill), mutters: “I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions.” They come eventually, of course. But getting there is over half the fun, because the script, by Scott Pilgrim vs. the World adapter Michael Bacall, charts the shifting landscape of high school cliques and dynamics in clever ways. Jenko and Schmidt weren’t friends in high school, as we learn in the 2005-set prologue. Jenko was the jock triumphant and a lousy student, and Schmidt (sporting an impressive mouthful of braces) spent most of his waking hours being embarrassed by his parents. A few years later, graduating from the police academy together, they’ve become pals, leaving enough of their high school selves behind to bridge the former social gap. They’re ready, in other words, to test their friendship by going back to high school, undercover, assigned by their superior (Ice Cube, snarling every second) to arrest the deal-

ers and suppliers of a dangerous new synthetic drug. The school yearbook maven, played by Dave Franco (brother of James, and it’s obvious), is the connection. Schmidt lands the lead in the school musical (Peter Pan), while Jenko struggles to learn basic science concepts, no picnic for a guy who never memorized the Miranda rights. “You have a right to remain an attorney,” he tells a perp at one point. The idea behind Jenko and Schmidt’s disorientation relates to how much high school life has changed in a short time. “Environmental awareness, being tolerant … if only I’d been born 10 years later!” Schmidt says, awestruck. The movie takes the romance between Schmidt and the dealer’s sometime girlfriend (Brie Larson, a great match for Hill’s easygoing delivery) more seriously than you expect, which is also true of the tetchy friendship between our heroes, the cops lost in John Hughesville. Little turns of phrase stick with you, as when the drama teacher (Chris Parnell) begins a selfimportant lecture: “When I was a young actor starting out in New York … state … Albany, to be exact.” —MCT, Tribune Media Service Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Dull expectations

Often, the banter among these generic folk gets stuck in neutral.

by Michael Phillips

hen an idiosyncratic talent seeks a wider audience for her work, there’s a danger in trading the offbeat for something more on-the-nose. This is what has happened in Friends With Kids, a smooth but frustrating third feature with an extremely good ensemble cast. In writer-director-star Jennifer Westfeldt’s previous directorial screen works, Kissing Jessica Stein (2002, adapted from a play) and Ira & Abby (2007), Westfeldt found some very funny details in her tales of New Yorkers slouching toward love. The filmmaker favors the comic long shot. Here the collective long shot is played by Westfeldt and Adam Scott. Friends since college, foundation staffer Julie and advertising executive Jason live on different floors of the same rent-stabiBoulder Weekly

lized wonder of an apartment complex. They’ve come to know each other’s every quirk and eccentricity. Since their married friends have morphed into shrill shadows of their former selves, they wonder: Is it possible to bring children into your life without destroying the possibility of romance? Only one way to find out: Tackle the former without even a whiff of romantic expectation. Julie and Jason decide to have a child and to raise the boy, named Joe, 50-50, with no hope of a real relationship between them. This arrangement, they figure, allows them to find their true loves. It’s like a starter marriage without the marriage. Their friends’ responses to the setup range from skeptical to cynical. Jason’s

eventual girlfriend, a Broadway chorus dancer played by Megan Fox, has no interest in parenting. Julie finds a winner in a divorced father played by Edward Burns, yet something — someone — is preventing her from committing. The married-and-exhausted couples are portrayed by Jon Hamm (Westfeldt’s longtime partner off screen) and Kristen Wiig, and by Maya Rudolph and Chris O’Dowd. That’s a lot of talent, most of which helped make Bridesmaids worth seeing. Flashes of wit brighten the proceed-

ings here, as when Julie bemoans being set up for a date by Rudolph’s character. “He’s a criminal!” she objects. Rudolph’s reply: “White collar! You can make that work!” Often, though, the banter among these generic folk gets stuck in neutral. Jason is near-fatally smug. The script features exactly one brief conversation about money (everybody has plenty here). Julie and Jason prove to be such fabulous co-parents and so inevitably a couple, the film should have been called A Matter of Time. Whatever their underlying seriousness or fundamental frivolity, all romantic comedies are plainly that — matters of time, delay mechanisms obstructing, and then joining, the key characters. But compared with Westfeldt’s more interesting previous films, this one really is simply a matter of time. —MCT, Tribune Media Service Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

March 29, 2012 47

21 JUMP STREET See full review on page 47. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT ACT OF VALOR

reel to reel

After the rescue of a kidnapped CIA operative leads to the discovery of a terrorist plot against the U.S., a team of Navy Seals is dispatched on a worldwide manhunt to foil the attack. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT

For a list of local movie times, visit boulderweekly.com/ movie-times.html

All In:The Poker Movie tells the story of poker’s renaissance in the first decade of the new millennium, from a game once played only by grandparents and teenagers unable to get a date on Friday night to a nationally televised sport played by millions, and watched by millions more.At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society

Mirror Mirror

As she ages, Julia Roberts plans to appear only in more and more elaborate costumes. Look for her next year in Ocean’s Fourteen as a roulette table.

THE ARTIST Silent movie matinee idol George Valentin meets funny, sexy young extra Peppy Miller, a dancer set for a big break, and sparks fly. PG-13. At Century, Chez Artiste and Colony Square. — Landmark Theatres BALLET: ROMEO AND JULIET

is at odds with the city of Rome and his fellow citizens. Pushed by his controlling and ambitious mother Volumnia (Vanessa Redgrave) to seek the exalted and powerful position of Consul, he is loath to ingratiate himself with the masses whose votes he needs in order to secure the office. When the public refuses to support him, Coriolanus’ anger prompts a riot. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres CRAZY HORSE

After two boys duke it out on a playground, the parents of the “victim” invite the parents of the “bully” over to work out their issues. A polite discussion of childrearing soon escalates into verbal warfare, with all four parents revealing their true colors. At Boedecker Theater. — Boedecker Theater

Celebrated documentary director Frederick Wiseman spent 10 weeks with his camera exploring one of the most mythic places dedicated to women: the Crazy Horse. Over the years this legendary Parisian cabaret club, founded in 1951 by Alain Bernardin, has become the Parisian nightlife “must” for visitors, ranking alongside the Eiffel Tower and The Louvre. At Denver Film Center/Colfax — Denver Film Society

CASA DE MI PADRE

CRAZY WISDOM

In Mexico, a rancher’s younger brother shows up at the family farm with a new fiancee and promises of financial success, but soon all parties are embroiled in a feud with a feared drug lord. Rated R. At Century. — Los Angeles Times/MCT

Raised and trained in the Tibetan monastic tradition, Trungpa came to the West and shattered preconceived notions about how an enlightened teacher should behave. He openly smoked, drank and had intimate relations with students — yet his teachings are recognized as authentic, vast and influential. At Boedecker Theater. — Boedecker Theater

CARNAGE

CODEPENDENT LESBIAN SPACE ALIEN SEEKS SAME Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same tracks the adventures, misadventures and experiences of three aliens from the planet Zots, sent down to Earth on a mission to rid themselves of romantic emotions, which are considered toxic to their planet’s atmosphere. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society CORIOLANUS Caius Martius “Coriolanus” (director Ralph Fiennes), a revered and feared Roman general, 48 March 29, 2012

Winner of Best Screenplay awards at the Berlin Film Festival and Chicago Film Festival, the powerful and richly textured second feature from talented director Joshua Marston (Maria Full of Grace) focuses on an Albanian family caught up in a blood feud. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres FRIENDS WITH KIDS See full review page 47. Rated R. At Century. HUGO In 1930s Paris, an orphan living in a train station tries to unlock a mystery left behind by his late father. Rated PG. At Colony Square. — Los Angeles Times/MCT HUNGER GAMES

Live. At Boedecker Theater. — Boedecker Theater

Being Flynn is adapted from Nick Flynn’s 2004 memoir Another Bulls—t Night in Suck City, and explores bonds both unbreakable and fragile between parent and child. Nick Flynn (Paul Dano, Little Miss Sunshine,There Will Be Blood) is a young writer seeking to define himself. He misses his late mother, Jody (Julianne Moore), and her loving nature, but he has not seen his father, self-styled “master storyteller” Jonathan Flynn (Robert De Niro), in 18 years. At Mayan. — Landmark Theatres

Footnote is the tale of a great rivalry between a father and son. Eliezer and Uriel Shkolnik are both eccentric professors who have dedicated their lives to their work in Talmudic Studies. The father, Eliezer, is a stubborn purist who fears the establishment and has never been recognized for his work. Meanwhile his son, Uriel, is an up-and-coming star in the field who appears to feed on accolades. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres THE FORGIVENESS OF BLOOD

ALL IN: THE POKER MOVIE

BEING FLYNN

FOOTNOTE

DARK TIDE A shark expert whose business and spirits are down a year after a shark attack killed one of her crew is persuaded by an old flame to lead a wealthy thrill seeker on a dangerous dive. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Los Angeles Times/MCT DELICACY In the French romantic comedy Delicacy, Audrey Tautou (Amélie) is Nathalie, a beautiful, happy and successful Parisian business execu-

tive who finds herself suddenly widowed after a three-year marriage to her soul mate. To cope with her loss, she buries herself and her emotions in her work to the dismay of her friends, family and co-workers. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres THE DESCENDANTS The new vehicle for superstar George Clooney is this Alexander Payne comedy-drama about an aristocratic yet troubled American family in Hawaii. Clooney’s uncertain Matt King faces a series of crises when his wife is injured in a boating accident off Waikiki and he stumbles in his attempts to mend fences with his two daughters, ages 10 and 17. Rated R. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society THE DEVIL, PROBABLY Constructed as a flashback from news reports of a young man’s suspicious suicide, Robert Bresson’s splenetic 1977 drama puts the post1968 world on trial and judges it unlivable. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society DRAGONSLAYER Grand Jury Prize Winner for Best Documentary at SXSW 2011, Dragonslayer provides an intimate vérité portrait of the life and times of Josh “Skreech” Sandoval, a 23-year-old skate legend from the stagnant suburbs of Fullerton, Calif. The film takes the viewer through a golden SoCal haze of lost youth, broken homes and abandoned swimming pools. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society DR. SUESS’ THE LORAX 3D In this animated film, a 12-year-old boy searching for the key to winning over his dream girl must confront a mysterious grumpy creature protective of his homeland. Rated PG. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT

In the post-apocalyptic ruins of North America, a teenage girl competes in a nationally televised battle to the death against 23 of her peers. Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT IN DARKNESS Leopold Socha (Robert Wieckiewicz), a sewer worker and petty thief in Lvov, a Nazioccupied city in Poland, one day encounters a group of Jews trying to escape the liquidation of the ghetto. He hides them for money in the labyrinth of the town’s sewers beneath the bustling activity of the city above. At Century. — Landmark Theatres JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME A 30-year-old man-child hunkered down in his mother’s basement ventures out into the real world on an errand and winds up on an adventure with his brother. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Mayan. — Los Angeles Times/MCT JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI For most of his 85 years, Jiro Ono, the most famous sushi chef in Tokyo, has been perfecting the art of making sushi. He works from sunrise to well beyond sunset to taste every piece of fish, meticulously train his employees, and carefully mold and finesse the impeccable presentation of each sushi creation. Rated PG. At Mayan. — Landmark Theatres JOHN CARTER A former military captain is mysteriously transported to Mars, where he becomes involved in an epic conflict among the planet’s inhabitants. Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND 3-D A family embarks on an adventure to a mysBoulder Weekly

In the lawless land that is rural China in the 1920s, legendary bandit “Pocky” Zhang and his gang stage a train robbery. They are quite unhappy to discover that instead of silver, the only thing left on the train is the con man, Tang. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society MIRROR MIRROR An exiled princess enlists the help of a group of diminutive bandits to take back her usurped throne from an evil queen in this retelling of the Snow White fairy tale. Rated PG. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/ MCT PINA

A thousand words

Eddie Murphy plays a character who tries to stop talking, for a change

PROJECT NIM The story of Nim, the chimpanzee who in the 1970s became the focus of a landmark experiment which aimed to show that an ape could learn to communicate with language if raised and nurtured like a human child. At Boedecker Theater. — Boedecker Theater PROJECT X Three ordinary high school seniors attempt to make a name for themselves by throwing an unforgettable party, which spirals way out of control. Rated R. At Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT SAFE HOUSE A rogue CIA operative forms an unlikely partnership with a frustrated rookie agent. Rated R. At Century. — Los Angeles Times/ MCT SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN The inspirational romantic comedy Salmon Fishing in the Yemen stars Ewan McGregor as Dr. Alfred Jones, a fisheries scientist who one day receives an unusual request. A businesswoman named Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Emily Blunt, The Adjustment Bureau) wants his help in fulfilling a wealthy sheikh’s (Amr Waked) desire to bring sport fishing to Yemen. At Esquire. — Landmark Theatres

Boulder Weekly

A 3-D version of the spacefaring adventure about Jedi knights and interplanetary intrigue. Rated PG. At Colony Square. — Los Angeles Times/ MCT THIN ICE

“Dance, dance or we are lost.” Pina Bausch’s final words summarize her life and provide the inspiration for acclaimed director Wim Wenders’ breathtaking tribute to the legendary choreographer. Bausch and her Tanztheater in Wuppertal elevated dance into brilliantly subversive new expressive realms. In this exhilarating film Wenders captures the raw, heart-stopping intensity of the movement and transforms it into a transcendent cinematic experience. At Boedecker Theater. — Boedecker Theater

A SEPARATION

STAR WARS: EPISODE I – THE PHANTOM MENACE 3D

An insurance agent trying to invigorate his business and win back his estranged wife tries to con a retired farmer. Rated R. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax and Mayan. — Los Angeles Times/ MCT THIS MEANS WAR

Two deadly CIA partners and best friends fall for the same woman and employ their arsenals against each other to win her. Rated PG-13. At Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT A THOUSAND WORDS

• The shift into the New Humanity • How to manifest what you want to happen in your life • Living the soul agreements you made before incarnation • Making the most useful choices for your soul evolution and the advancement of consciousness on our planet

Set against the backdrop of a high school football season, Undefeated is an intimate chronicle of three underprivileged studentathletes from inner-city Memphis and the volunteer coach trying to help them beat the odds on and off the field.. At Esquire. — Landmark Theatres

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WRATH OF THE TITANS 3D Ten years after defeating the Kraken, the demigod Perseus must leave his quiet life to aid his father, Zeus, in a battle against the Titans. Rated PG. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT

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A stressed-out Manhattan couple leave the big city and stumble upon a freewheeling community. Rated R. At Century. — Los Angeles Times/MCT

A suspenseful and gripping psychological thriller from director/co-writer Lynne Ramsay (Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar), We Need to Talk About Kevin explores the fractious relationship between a mother and her evil son. Rated R. At Esquire. — Landmark Theatres

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March APRIL29, 5 2012 49

cuisine

Chouxed apple fritters and mortality

by Adrienne Saia Isaac

rying to eat better this spring? Or at least trying to look better when you bust out the shorts and swimsuits this summer? Boulder Weekly sat down with James Lee, owner/partner of Blackbelly Catering and The Bitter Bar to discuss his favorite seasonal drinks and ways to tailor them for the health-conscious.

What seasonal foods are you looking forward to this spring? My two favorites are cucumber and watermelon. They go really well together in a combination. I love cucumber in general — just the scent and the oils give you a really nice, refreshing, vibrant cocktail. Watermelon is my distant second, and they supposedly have really great health benefits like antioxidants. The flavors come out really nicely in a cocktail, especially in the summertime. I also look for cherries. Cherries are very short as far as seasonality goes. They only last like two and a half months. To get fresh cherries in season is awesome.

50 March 29, 2012

How can health-conscious people still make a great cocktail? I use a lot of natural sugar. Agave nectar is the easiest, it has great taste and is soluble. You put it into a cocktail and it dissolves immediately, and you don’t have to worry about it being sticky. Agave nectar comes from agave, which is what tequila is made of. It looks like a big, giant pineapple. It has lots of sugar inside, and you can ferment it and make tequila, or you can take the actual sugar and extract it. ... Another form of sugar that I use, as far as being healthy, is natural honey. With honey, it’s so thick, and it lumps up when it gets cold. So I use half honey and half hot water and I dissolve it first. Then I use it in my cocktail when I’m making a cold drink. What is big in your cocktail repertoire for spring? Anything citrus — I’m really into half lemon, half lime combinations. Use the juice from each in a cocktail, with agave nectar, and your choice of fruit. Add a little bit of herb like Thai basil or rosemary. Muddle those ingredients

together and add your favorite spirit, and shake the hell out of it — that’s like your “superfood” cocktail. It’s very low-calorie in that sense because it’s all-natural. What else do you like about using natural ingredients? I was doing an all-natural cucumber margarita about five years ago. I was in North Carolina when I went back home to visit a couple of friends. My friend’s wife didn’t want to drink and I was making those cucumber margaritas. She goes, “I get a horrible, horrible hangover.” I told her, let’s do an experiment: This is all-natural margarita with really high-end tequila, agave nectar, fresh juices. If you want to get drunk, and you have a horrible hangover tomorrow, I’ll babysit your kids in the morning. She ended up having eight that night; she was trashed! She loved it, and sometimes you don’t taste the alcohol because you have all these fresh and light flavors and scents coming through. The next day, she didn’t have a hangover because she didn’t have a lot of artificial sugar

eople are always asking me, “Theo, what should I do with all the Choux paste that’s sitting around my kitchen?” And I’m always like, “Can I just get my transfer, dude? I’m in a hurry.” Choux paste, for those who aren’t familiar, is French plaster made from flour, eggs, butter and milk or water, or both. And not only does it plug small holes in drywall, it also has a few uses in the kitchen, most notably, profiteroles — also known as “cream puffs” if you drive an electric-mobility scooter. I first discovered Choux in Cooking with Pomaine, Edouard De Pomaine’s delightful book in which he covers a ton of simple French dishes, talks about how fat he’s getting and, just to whet the appetite a bit further, stops midway through recipes to mention things like how sad he is that all his friends are dying. Pomaine explains the paste, mentions profiteroles, but writes more about frying

with cynicism

Dressing up your drinks for spring

cooking

by Theo Romeo

see FRITTERS Page 53

see SPRING DRINKS Page 52

Boulder Weekly

cuisine review

Clay’s Obscurity Corner Lassi breeds

Jai Ho Indian Kitchen/Bar/ Lounge 1915 28th Street Boulder, 303-444-5151

A distinctive Indian lunch buffet by Clay Fong

amorphous mass, where meat, bun, cheese and toppings all blend together in an indistinguishable blob. The McDLT recognized this fault, and took steps to address the nearly unavoidable pitfalls of serving something prepared and held well in advance of consumption. Beef certainly isn’t on the menu at Jai Ho, the 28th Street spinoff of a popular Aurora Indian eatery. On a recent excursion to sample their $9.99 lunch buffet, it was evident to friend Michael and I that the kitchen handily understands how to preserve distinct flavors and textures. That’s no small feat in a buffet setting, and they didn’t even have to resort to Styrofoam packaging to accomplish this. Our first clue regarding Jai Ho’s flavor expertise came in the form of the $3.50 mango lassi. Most of these yogurt-based drinks are tooth-achingly sweet, but here the sugar was tempered

ake

h Fres it Fru

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Bre Potaakfast toes

or those old enough, you may remember 1985 as a dark time, mostly because that’s when McDonald’s launched the McDLT. In today’s recycling-conscious age, the McDLT probably wouldn’t exist. For those of you unfamiliar with this environmental atrocity, this was a burger adorned with lettuce and tomato that came in a double-chambered Styrofoam container. The purpose of this excessive packaging was explained by the voiceovers in the TV ads as, “You get a hot side hot, you get a cool side cool.” What this meant is the hot burger and half a bun were confined to one chamber, while the other held cool lettuce tomato, cheese and the other half bun. I’ll reluctantly admit there was some wisdom underlying this isolation of temperatures and textures. One problem (of many) associated with McDonald’s burgers is they are often an

English Muffin

POTATOES & PANCAKES!

To a

nch Fre ast To

Boulder Weekly

regarding spicing. The masala here was classic subcontinental-inspired comfort food, a mild tomato-based curry with the velvety suaveness of its cousin, butter chicken. The Vindaloo ably lived up to its piquant reputation with plenty of hot red chile, although not enough to obscure the taste of tender poultry. Although it took a while to get our check, presenting a potential issue for those on tight lunch schedules, the food here makes for one of the better Indian buffets. I would have happily paid the full price of the lunch for a serving of either the punchy Vindaloo or smooth Tikka Masala with rice, and I am likely to return. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Buttermilk Biscuit

Meat

na a n Ba ut d N rea B

y err ead b e r Blu orn B C

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by salt, an ingredient found in non-fruited versions of this beverage. This addition helped complement the subtle sweetness in the same way that salt enhances caramel as well as giving the drink an air of authenticity. The creamy greens in the saag were also noteworthy for retaining a welcome hint of crispness, as opposed to the unappealingly mushy veggies found elsewhere. Michael was particularly enamored with this meatless option, deeming it “out of this world.” Another winner was the dosa, the crispy crepe with a hint of sourdough tang, here augmented with a tender vegetable filling. It’s worth noting this compelling choice wasn’t available at the buffet line, but was a freshly made preparation that our server automatically brought to our table. But probably the best evidence of the distinct tastes on tap comes from comparing the Vindaloo and the Tikka Masala. Both are stew-like chicken dishes, perfect with rice, but they couldn’t be more different

ocally, mango lassi is probably the most commonly encountered version of this cooling beverage. From time to time, there may be an opportunity to sample a simple salted lassi, or even one flavored with rosewater or fruit juice other than mango. What you won’t find in local restaurants, although it may be available in an establishment of a different sort, is bhang lassi. Bhang is an herbal extract with a long history of use in spiritual ceremonies and treating various medical conditions such as insomnia and loss of appetite. What potent herb is the active ingredient in bhang? It’s cannabis.

March 29, 2012 51

tidbites

Food Happenings Around Town

CENTRO’S BIRTHDAY

West Pearl’s Centro Latin Kitchen will celebrate its fifth birthday with a party starting at 3 p.m. on April 4. The party’s proceeds will benefit a local farm-to-table educational program. Watershed School’s Farm to Table Program teaches children and teens about the farm-to-table concept and plans to break ground soon on a new farm. Centro’s executive chef, Ian Clark, will prepare a pig roast at 3 p.m., with live music from Mariachi Regional starting at 5 p.m. A donation of $25 for the all-you-can-eat pig barbecue is requested, and includes two drinks. Tickets will also be available for a chance to break piñatas containing candy, gift cards to Centro and coupons for Top Rope Lager.

A SAVORY MEAL IN NED

The Savory Café in Nederland is hosting an eight-course wild game dinner with eight Firestone beers on Friday, April 6. The dinner, which begins at 6:30 p.m., will feature Rocky Mountain elk, venison, quail, rabbit, alligator, trout and wild boar, and it includes dessert. The cost is $80 per person, excluding tax and gratuity, and seating is limited. To RSVP, call 303-258-7329. The Savory Café is located at 20 E. Lakeview Dr., in the Caribou Shopping Center. For more information, see www.thesavorycafened. com.

ZOLO’S AUTISM FUNDRAISER

The Autism Society of Boulder County will host a fundraising dinner at Zolo Grill April 5, featuring a lineup of many of Boulder’s top chefs. Headed by Zolo Chef Brett Smith, the cooks include John Platt of Q’s and Riff’s, Mark Monette of the Flagstaff House, Hosea Rosenberg of Blackbelly Catering, Dave Query of the Big Red F Restaurant Group and Jennifer Bush of The Bitter Bar. Proceeds from the dinner will benefit the society, which helps children with autism and their families. Those who make donations before the dinner can enter to win a number of prizes at the event, including the grand prize, a Deer Valley ski package. The dinner, which begins at 6:30 p.m., costs $175 for a five-course meal, including wine and cocktail pairings. For reservations, call 303-449-0444.

SPRING DRINKS from Page 50

(303) 442 1300 52 March 29, 2012

29th & canyon

laudisio.com

content. That just gave me a lot of hope; if you do it the right way — a healthier way — it’s possible.

such good food, sometimes better than us, and they’re totally vegetarian. They lead a happy life.

Where do you source your ingredients? When I’m in Boulder, I get most of my ingredients from the Farmers’ Market. In Denver, there’s one on East Colfax [City Esplanade Farmers’ Market] and one in south Wash Park [Old South Pearl in Denver]. I also really love Sunflower [Market]. I think they have great selections for low prices. Hosea [Rosenberg, Lee’s Blackbelly Catering partner] and I have a farm in between Erie and Longmont. We have eight Berkshire pigs and some Blackbelly sheep. Blackbelly originally came from Barbados; it supposedly tastes twice as good as regular lamb. And the Berkshires are from England, and they’re really tasty ... and really cute at the same time, so it’s hard. They have characters and personalities, but we treat them really well. We feed them

Lee outlines one of his favorite seasonal beverages, “Rose Water”: 1 oz. gin or vodka 1 oz. Lorenza Rosé (or a rosé of your choice) 1 slice fresh watermelon 1 slice of cucumber wheel 3/4 oz. fresh lime juice 3/4 oz. agave nectar 3/4 oz. water Muddle the cucumber and the watermelon in a mixing glass. Add all the other ingredients and ice. Shake for 5-10 seconds. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cucumber twist and watermelon slice. For more information on James Lee visit BlackbellyCatering.com or drop in to The Bitter Bar at 9th & Canyon (www. thebitterbar.com). Boulder Weekly

Chouxed apple fritters and mortality

with cynicism

cooking

FREE

12oz. cup of fair trade organic coffee

with purchase of one bagel with cream cheese Exp. 4/30/12

FRITTERS from Page 50

spoonfuls of the stuff, dusting them with powdered sugar and enjoying them with coffee. That was my introduction to Choux paste. Over a nice latte at home, I munched on crisp-on-the-outside, creamyon-the-inside pastries and checked my email, and thought about how many of my friends were still alive and wondered why that upset me. Sure, I made profiteroles, filled them with pastry cream, blah blah blah, but ever since the first time I made Choux, I just had the feeling that this stuff, like carbon or money, could be the building block of damn near everything awesome. Thus, I have dedicated more than a few hours of my life to experimenting with Choux paste, and have come up with some keepers and a whole lot of crappers. Here’s a keeper:

Chouxed apple fritters

Makes enough to feed 3 or 4 people 1/3 cup water 1/3 cup milk ½ stick of butter 3 tsp. sugar ¼ tsp. salt ½ cup flour (pack it in) 2 eggs 1 to 2 apples depending on size

In a saucepan, slowly bring milk, water, butter (cut into ¼-inch square pieces), sugar and salt to a boil. Once the mixture boils, add flour, and with a wooden spoon, mix over the flame until mixture comes together into a thick paste. When it forms a ball and begins to stick to the bottom of the pan, remove from heat. Let the pan cool for about five minutes, then add the first egg and mix it in with a fork. It will take some time to incorporate. Be patient. Once it looks less like blood platelets and more like a paste, add the second egg and mix again. In a deep saucepan, pour oil of your choice (I use canola) and set it to medium. Frying Choux is unlike most other deep-fry applications. If you fry too hot — 350 F for instance — the egg cooks too fast and doesn’t expand. So make sure to keep it around medium and lower if things are cooking too fast and not puffing up. Cut apples however you want. I’ve cut the entire apple into thin, flat slices or into fries. It works either way. Dredge each piece of apple in flour, then plunge into the paste. You’ll notice that the Choux is resisting. It’s a French thing. Work it in. Massage the paste gently over the apple slices. Sooner or later, it comes around and starts to stick. When it comes to coating the apples, I think the messier the better. The paste is delicious, so glob it on. As the fritters fry, turn them with a slotted spoon. Remove when they are light brown and immediately sprinkle them with sugar — the recipe isn’t all that sweet, so you can be generous with it. If you run out of apple and have some paste left, spoon it into the hot oil, watch it expand, and be sure to ponder, just for a moment, your own mortality. Life could be worse. Read more from Theo Romeo at www.cookingwithcynicism. com. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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March 29, 2012 53

appetizers Zucca Italian Ristorante

Synopses of recent restaurant reviews. To read reviews in their entirety, visit www.boulderweekly.com

808 Main St., Louisville 303-666-6499 ocated smack dab in the middle of downtown Louisville, Zucca Italian Ristorante boasts an inviting ambience balancing the rustic with a subtle but unmistakable European flair. The same can also be said of the menu, which ranges from old standbys like comforting spaghetti and meatballs to more elevated selections like seafood cannelloni and rack of lamb. Can’t-miss items include the fried calamari starter, garnished with piquant pickled peppers and fresh tomato, and the arugula salad, a winning combination of greens, gorgonzola and apple.

Shine

2027 13th St., Boulder 303-449-0120

oulder’s Shine is the newest venture from the Emich triplets, late of Trilogy fame. Shine is a bar and restaurant as well as a performance and gathering space showcasing everything from world music concerts to yoga classes. The menu features healthful offerings ranging from locally sourced, grass-fed beef burgers to meatless jackfruit tacos. There is also a selection of housemade beer, and various elixirs and potions flavored with herbs and touted for their restorative qualities.

Fan’s Chinese Cuisine

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Tuesday - Thursday until 6:00pm

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an’s Chinese Cuisine, situated in a $2 OFF glasses of wine Niwot strip mall near a sheriff ’s $1 OFF draft beers office substation, serves up dishes free of $2 OFF flatbreads MSG, as well as gluten-free choices. Outside of that, the reasonably priced HOURS: Tue-Wed 4pm-9pm • Thurs-Sat 4pm-10pm • Closed Sun & Mon lunch bill of fare is a Chinese-American 2020 Ionosphere Street located in Prospect New Town hall of fame, spotlighting such chestnuts Longmont, CO 80504 • 303-834-8536 as chow mein, Szechuan beef and vegewww.yourplaceorvine.com tarian Buddha’s Delight. Top choices include flavorful Mongolian beef garOak at Fourteenth nished with expertly stir-fried pepper and onion, as 1400 Pearl St., Boulder well as the fresh-tasting Grand Marnier shrimp. 303-444-3622

Santa Fe Coffee & Burrito Co.

33 S. Main St., Longmont 303-996-1010

ongmont’s Santa Fe Coffee & Burrito Co. certainly lives up to its name. This welcoming breakfast and lunch spot features caffeine ranging from classic diner coffee to espresso drinks and hearty, New Mexicoinfluenced meals. Morning highlights include anything with the green chile; piping hot skillets such as the Santa Fe, featuring bacon, chorizo, potato, bell pepper and onion; and the compelling enchiladas and eggs.

Laudisio

1710 29th St., Suite 1076, Boulder 303-442-1300

hile Laudisio is best known for its Italian-influenced lunches and dinners, it certainly satisfies with its solidly constructed brunch menu on the weekends. Offerings include egg-based dishes such as a Hazel Dell mushroom frittata, sweet choices like a perfectly balanced lemon ricotta pancake, and breakfast pizzas topped with prosciutto. Other noteworthy items include the hearty steak and eggs sided with homefries, and the piping hot Italian-style donut holes.

Whole Foods Market 2905 Pearl St., Boulder 303-545-6611

he expanded food court at the Pearl Street Whole Foods quite literally has everything from soup to nuts. Available items range from a crisp, anise-scented fennel salad to a surprisingly flavorful interpretation of Chinese barbecued pork. Made-to-order fare includes taqueria-style Mexican street food and Asian noodles, highlighted by the Vietnameseinfluenced pho ga, a chicken and rice noodle soup.

54 March 29, 2012

ak at Fourteenth is back with a vengeance, serving up winning gourmet fare inspired in part by American regional cuisine. A sleek interior coupled with denim-clad waitstaff give it a subtle cowboy-meets-foodie feel, accented by attentive service. Dinners include a porterhouse steak for two and house-made pastas. At lunch, the shrimp grits are sublime, and the winning $11 burger lunch special includes two grass-fed patties, Old Bay seasoning-scented tater tots and house-made root beer.

Pearl Street Steak Room 1035 Pearl St., Boulder 303-938-9604

agyu steak is a pricey delicacy, and the Pearl Street Steak Room is a coolly retro venue where people can indulge their taste for this artisan beef. Richly marbled, sweet and tender, the Wagyu filet’s a good way to go, especially after one of their smooth martinis. The adventurous can start their meal with chicken-fried sweetbreads, but more sedate choices like duck confit also tempt.

The Bitter Bar

835 Walnut St., Boulder 303-442-3050

he Big Red F Restaurant Group’s foray into the world of artisan cocktails, The Bitter Bar, has taken over the former Happy Noodle venue. Drinks here range from original award-winning concoctions such as the Gone Fishin’, featuring naval-strength rum and ginger liqueur, to Irish Coffee. But the focus on libations doesn’t detract from the food, which includes such winning options as a fresh-tasting lobster risotto and the unique gingerbread cake garnished with bacon caramel popcorn.

95a Bistro and Sushi

1381 Forest Park Circle, Lafayette 303-665-3080

5a Bistro and Sushi is a wor thwhile addition to the East County dining scene. It provides an oppor tunity for a reasonably priced lunch prepared with care, an intriguing small plate meal, or a dinner combining comfor ting home cooking with gourmet flair. Winning small plate choices, none of which cost more than $7, include clams and chorizo, braised pork over potato, and chile pepper and avocado tempura.

L’Atelier

1739 Pearl St., Boulder 303-442-7233

hef Radek Czerny’s L’Atelier, deeply influenced by classic French cuisine, builds upon a traditional foundation. At dinner, starters range from Thai-spiced mussels to traditional escargot and shrimp Louis. Classicism marks the entrée menu, which includes filet mignon and rack of lamb. The lunch menu features lighter options like a tuna nicoise salad and a salmon, lettuce and tomato panini, and both meals feature the can’t-miss lobster ravioli.

Murphy’s

2731 Iris Ave., Boulder 303-449-4473

or those desiring a lighter, reasonably priced meal combining bar standards with a touch of gourmet, try the small plates menu at the North Boulder location of Murphy’s. Marked down for happy hour, this menu includes south of the border specialties like Six Bite Nachos, larger than the name suggests. Other winning options here include the falling-off-the-bone Caribbean pork ribs with habanero mango sauce and the smoked salmon with brie on crostini.

Aloy Thai Cuisine

2720 Canyon Blvd., Boulder 303-440-2903

ormerly Chy Thai, Aloy Thai Cuisine claims the same ownership and food as its predecessor with an upgraded dining room. Indeed, the solid Thai selections of the old venue live on, and the lunch menu provides an opportunity to enjoy several classic choices for less than $9. Lunch highlights include the red roast chicken curry and Pad Kra Pow, a basil-scented stir-fry. Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

9/30/11

11:15 AM

2011

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March 29, 2012 55

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MARCH 21-APRIL 19:

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yourself exorcism of your own memories.

A few months after America invaded Iraq in 2003, soldier Brian Wheeler wrote the following to help us imagine what it was like over there: “Go to the worst crimeinfested place you can find. Go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them, and in the loudest voice possible yell that every Crip and Blood within hearing distance is a PANSY.” As a characterbuilding exercise, Aries, I highly recommend you try something like this yourself. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. What I just said is not an accurate reading of the astrological omens. But this is: Get out of your comfort zone, yes, but with a smart gamble, not a crazy risk.

In Karley Sciortino’s NSFW blog Slutever.com, she announces that “this blog is intended to trick strangers into thinking my life is more exciting than it actually is.” I highly recommend you adopt that approach, Libra. Do whatever it takes — lying, deceiving, exaggerating, bragging — to fool everyone into believing that you are a fascinating character who is in the midst of marvelous, high-drama adventures. APRIL FOOL! I wasn’t totally sincere about what I just said. The truth is, your life is likely to be a rousing adventure in the coming days. There’ll be no need to pretend it is, and therefore no need to cajole or trick others into thinking it is.

TAURUS

SCORPIO

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22:

APRIL 20-MAY 20:

OCT. 23-NOV. 21:

According to a recent poll, God’s approval rating has dipped below 40 percent for the first time on record. My research suggests the new low is due in part to a disproportionate amount of dissatisfaction by those born under the sign of Taurus. Can you fix this please? If you’re one of the discontent, please see if you can talk yourself into restoring some of your faith in the Divine Wow. APRIL FOOL! The real truth is, I encourage you to be skeptical in regards to all authorities, experts and topdogs, including God. It’s an excellent time in your cycle to go rogue, to scream, “I defy you, stars!” Be a rabble-rousing, boat-rocking doubter.

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low selfesteem,” said author William Gibson, “first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a—holes.” This is a good time to check in with yourself, Scorpio, and see if Gibson’s advice applies to you. Lately, the jackass quotient seems to have been rising in your vicinity. APRIL FOOL! I was half-joking. It’s true that you should focus aggressively on reducing the influence of jerks in your life. At the same time, you should also ask yourself rather pointedly how you could reduce your problems by changing something about yourself.

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

Photographer Darrin Harris Frisby doesn’t think people should smile in photographs. He regards it as “superficial and misleading.” In the greatest portraits ever painted, he says, the subject’s gaze is almost always neutral, “neither inviting nor forbidding.” Did Rembrandt ever show people grinning from ear to ear? No. Did Vermeer, Goya, Titian, Sargent or Velasquez? Nope. Make that your guiding thought in the coming week, Gemini. Be a connoisseur of the poker face. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, in the coming week you will have more than ample reasons to be of good cheer. You should therefore express delight extravagantly.

Do not under any circumstances put on a frog costume, go to a shopping mall, and ride around on a unicycle while reciting erotic poetry in German through a megaphone. APRIL FOOL! I lied. That wouldn’t be such a terrible use of your time. The astrological omens suggest that you will be visited by rather unusual creative surges that may border on being wacky. Personally, though, I would prefer it if you channeled your effervescent fertility in more highly constructive directions, like dreaming up new approaches to love that will have a very practical impact on your romantic life.

CANCER

DEC. 22-JAN. 19:

MAY 21-JUNE 20:

JUNE 21-JULY 22:

Back in 1835, a newspaper known as The New York Sun resorted to an extreme measure in order to boost readership: It ran a story about how the renowned astronomer Sir John Herschel had perfected a telescope that allowed him to see life forms on the moon, including unicorns, two-legged beavers that had harnessed fire, and sexually liberated “manbats.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Cancerian, you temporarily have license to try something almost equally as wild and experimental to “boost your readership.” APRIL FOOL! I lied about the unicorns. Don’t refer to cliched chimeras like them. But it’s fine to invoke more unexpected curiosities like fire-using beavers and sexually liberated manbats.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22:

In his documentary film Prohibition, Ken Burns reports on the extreme popularity of alcohol in 19th-century America. He says that the typical person over 15 years of age drank 88 bottles of whiskey a year. In light of the current astrological omens, Leo, I suggest you increase your intake to that level and even beyond. APRIL FOOL! I lied. It’s not literal alcoholic spirits you should be ingesting in more abundance, but rather big ideas that open your mind, inspirational sights and sounds that dissolve your inhibitions, and intriguing people who expand your worldview.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22:

A woman in Euclid, Ohio, claims her house is haunted by randy ghosts. “They have sex in my living room,” Dianne Carlisle told a TV news reporter. “You can see the lady’s high-heeled shoes.” I suspect you may soon be dealing with a similar problem, Virgo. So consider the possibility of hiring an X-rated exorcist. APRIL FOOL! The naked truth is that you will not be visited by spooks of any kind, let alone horny ones. However, you would be smart to purify and neutralize old karma that might still be haunting your love life or your sex life. Consider performing a do-it-

Boulder Weekly

NOV. 22-DEC. 21:

CAPRICORN

In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan is stirred to the point of rapture by Jay Gatsby’s silk shirts. “I’ve never seen such beautiful shirts before,” she sobs, burying her face in one as she sits in his bedroom. I sincerely hope you will have an equivalent brush with this kind of resplendence sometime soon, Capricorn. For the sake of your mental and even physical health, you need direct contact with the sublime. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It’s true that you would profoundly benefit from a brush with resplendence. But I can assure you that plain old material objects, no matter how lush and expensive, won’t do the trick for you.

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18:

Last December a woman in Tulsa, Okla., made creative use of a Walmart. She gathered various ingredients from around the shelves, including lighter fluid, lithium and drain cleaner, and set up a meth lab right there in the back of the store. She’s your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. APRIL FOOL! I lied, kind of. The woman I mentioned got arrested for illegal activity, which I don’t advise you to do. But I do hope you will ascend to her levels of ingenuity and audacity as you gather all the resources you need for a novel experiment.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20:

A Filipino man named Herbert Chavez has had extensive plastic surgery done to make himself resemble Superman. Consider making him your role model, Pisces. I hope he inspires you to begin your own quest to rework your body and soul in the image of your favorite celebrity or cartoon hero. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you’d be wise to avoid comparing yourself to anyone else or remolding yourself to be like anyone else. The best use of the current cosmic tendencies would be to brainstorm about what exactly your highest potentials are, and swear a blood oath to become that riper version of yourself.

March 29, 2012 57

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60 March 29, 2012

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Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

March 29, 2012 63

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