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contents news and views PROTESTING IS OUR RIGHT / 6 Jane Brautigam’s memo recalls one of Bush’s vilest moments

by Pamela White IS CITY COUNCIL ABOVE THE LAW? / 10 Council’s financial disclosure forms policed by man hired by council

by Joel Dyer ON THE COVER: MINING IN SPACE / 12 Private sector making giant leaps affordable

by Paul Danish

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by David Accomazzo Overtones: Near-lost composers come to life at festival / 23 Overtones: Guitarist Bill Frisell channels John Lennon / 23 Arts & Culture: Christopher Titus is a loser/ 27 Panorama: What to do and where to go / 29 Reel 2 Reel: Pick your flick / 39 Screen: That’s My Boy / 40 Cuisine: Sliders have a major presence in Boulder / 42 Cuisine Review: Thai Avenue Rice & Noodles / 43

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@DPDough_Boulder Letters: The true cost of fracking; Garry vs. Elise; Erie is not divided / 5 The Highroad: Listen to the weeds / 5 In Case You Missed It: Tame bearcats?; The “I Wish I Had a Farm” bill / 8 Boulderganic: Heating up alternative energy / 17 Adventure: Riding the turkey boat / 34 Free Will Astrology: By Rob Brezsny / 49 Boulder Marketplace: Your community resource / 51

@DPDough_Boulder

staff Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Director of Sales & Marketing, Dave Grimsland Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Managing Editor, Jefferson Dodge Arts & Entertainment Editor, David Accomazzo Special Editions/Calendar Editor, Elizabeth Miller Online Editor, Quibian Salazar-Moreno Contributing Editor, Pamela White Interns, Michael Callahan, Travis Mannon, Sebastian Murdock, Don Tartaglione, Hadley Vandiver Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Krystal Baugher, Rob Brezsny, Chris Callaway, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Clay Fong, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Jessie Lucier, P.J. Nutting, Brian Palmer, Chris Parker, Adam Perry, Alan Sculley, Isaac Woods Stokes, Tom Winter, Tate Zandstra, Gary Zeidner SALES Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Account Executives, Andrea Craven, David Hasson, Lisa Secco, Brooke Sunness PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Marketing Manager & Heiress, Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant, Francie Swidler CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 12-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo June 21, 2012 Volume XIX, Number 46 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

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letters Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 400 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

The true cost of fracking

The article “Fracking Lessons” by Joel Dyer (cover story, May 31) is a painful, tragic warning for us all. It shows vividly how the theoretical knowledge we call “capitalistic economics” is fatally flawed.

Louis and Donna Meeks, described in the article, live on a small ranch in the Muddy Ridge gas field about six miles from the town of Pavillion, Wyo. Encana drills for gas in the area and injects chemicals into the earth that find their way into the well water of the Meeks. The contaminated air and water cause severe health problems for the Meeks and their animals. Moreover, their property, valued at $239,000 in 2006, is now valueless. The cost to the Meeks’ property and health is probably about $500,000, but this cost, real as it is to the Meeks, does not find its way into the calculation for the price of the gas extracted near their property. The gurus of capitalism, our economists, call this cost an “externality.”

Because the price of many goods does not reflect their true costs, there are enormous, potentially disastrous distortions in our economic system.

From 2000 to 2004, cigarette smoking was estimated to be responsible for

$193 billion in direct and indirect health-related economic losses in the U.S. (See www.cdc.gov/tobacco). If the price of cigarettes included these true costs, the selling price would be so high no one would buy them. The reality is that smokers slake their appetites, and the producers of cigarettes are among the most profitable of U.S. corporations. This $193 billion externality is paid by us all.

However, the end of this nonsense may be in sight. The kahuna of all externalities is global warming.

Assuming that most scientists are correct in that an ever-heating planet is the result of human production of carbon dioxide, and assuming that gas-

the

Highroad

operated vehicles are a prime source of the carbon dioxide, given an iota of sense and economic knowledge, we should expect the price of gas to be skyrocketing. But it is not.

Remember, we are talking externalities here. Yes, our great American economic system, plus the greatest political system in human memory, keeps the price of gas unreflective of the real costs. We all have a hand in this. We must demand that the price of gas reflects every cent of real costs. More civilized European nations are increasing the cost of gas to over double what we now pay. Not us, aren’t we lucky?

Soon our grandchildren may all be like the Meeks — struggling for health

and living in a poisoned land.

Capitalism to the very end!

Artie Wolfe/Black Hawk What?!

Now the governor and the state of Colorado will sue any entity that dares to try to change, or objects to, current fracking practices?

Threat, threat. Are we supposed to knuckle under like frightened sheep?

Bear in mind, several European countries and several states in the U.S. have banned fracking completely.

What if we sue the state for pandering to gas and oil companies rather see LETTERS Page 6

cidentally, Monsanto also happens to be this, he says, and nature will be defeated. the maker of Roundup, so it has profited Wrong. Nature doesn’t quit. The weeds will from the seed and from the huge jump keep evolving and will adapt to Dow’s high-tech in Roundup sales that fix, too. By pushing the same old the seed generated. thing relentlessly, says an indeFor more information on Jim Slick. pendent crop scientist, agribusiHightower’s work — and to But Mother Nature, ness interests “ratchet up subscribe to his award-windamn her, has rebelled.

[America’s] dependence on the ning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit So much of Monsanto’s use of herbicides, which is very www.jimhightower.com. poison was spread in much a treadmill.” the past decade that It’s time to start listening to weeds naturally develthe weeds — and cooperating with Mother Nature. To advance this commonoped a resistance to it. As a Dow Chemical agronsense approach, a national coalition is backing a omist put it, “The real need here is to diversify our weed management systems.”

California “Right To Know” initiative requiring Exactly right! We need non-chemical, nonGMO-altered foods to be labeled. To help, go to GMO, sustainable systems that work with nature. the Organic Consumers Association at www.

But, no, the Dow man didn’t mean that at all.

OrganicConsumers.org.

He was calling for more brute force in the form of Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Dow’s new genetically altered corn seed that can This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the absorb Dow’s super-potent 2,4-D weedkiller. Use views of Boulder Weekly.

Listen to the weeds

by Jim Hightower

R

ather than finding ways to cooperate with the natural world, America’s agribusiness giants reach for the next quick fix in a futile effort to overpower nature.

Their attitude is that if brute force isn’t working, they’re probably not using enough of it.

Monsanto, for example, has banked a fortune by selling a corn seed that it genetically manipulated to produce corn plants that won’t die when sprayed with a toxic weedkiller called “Roundup.” Not coin-

Boulder Weekly

June 21, 2012 5

uncensored Protesting is our right

by Pamela White

T LETTERS from Page 5

than protecting/preserving our air, water, land and human health?

N.L. Hartman/Boulder

Garry vs. Elise

Boulder Weekly’s recent review of candidates for county commissioner (“Our take on the District 1 commissioner race,” June 7) fell short in its analysis of the Democratic primary race for the only contested race.

Here’s my take on this race between Garry Sanfaçon and Elise Jones. While both are good candidates, Garry stands out because of his solid principles to stand up to power by money interests and short-sighted corporations. It is not clear that Elise would be as strong in confronting these influences, but would likely take a more technical and bureau-

cratic approach to governance.

I stand for Garry Sanfaçon for county commissioner and urge others to vote for him on their primary ballots.

Garry Sanfaçon is principled in defending the right of local citizens and local government to do what is right to protect our environment, and in particular to protect our food supplies and support local organic agriculture. He will vote to ban GMOs on county lands and seek to control corporate-dominated agriculture and their incessant pushing of toxic pesticides and untested genetically engineered crops. He will work to stop the pollution of our water, air and land from hydraulic fracturing by a ban on these practices. He will act to prosee LETTERS Page 9

quotes “A strong stench of dead bodies was in the air.”

—Sausan Ghosheh, speaking on behalf of United Nations observers who inspected Haffa, Syria, after it was targeted in a rebel crackdown by Syrian President Bashar Assad’s forces “I then heard someone say, `OK, Please stop. Go inside the house.’ ... We heard quiet for a few minutes Then after that we heard a splash in the back.”

—Sandra Gardea, a neighbor of Rodney King, describing what she heard, after the sounds of sobbing, the night King died in his swimming pool “We still had all the traditional markers of success, with a fat paycheck, the fancy office, the impressive lines on our resumes. But the truth is, neither of us was all that fulfilled. ... I was living the dream, but it wasn’t my dream. Craig felt the same way, unbeknownst to me.”

—First Lady Michelle Obama, giving the commencement speech at Oregon State University, where her brother, Craig Robinson, is the men’s basketball coach

6 June 21, 2012

he first time I heard about the disgusting concept of “free speech zones” at protests, it was at big national political conventions leading up to the 2004 presidential election.

The concept was put into use in Denver when George W. came to speak during his re-election bid. Those who wanted to cheer for the president or watch like sock puppets were welcome to move about freely. Those of us who felt that Bush’s policies were objectionable and his war in Iraq immoral were forced to stand in cordoned-off areas — what Judd Golden of Boulder’s ACLU calls “free speech cages” — far from George’s ears, if we wanted to so much as hold up a sign. Anyone who defied these rules was forcefully removed from the crowds by thugs in uniforms.

The constitutionally guaranteed “right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances” was swept aside.

But that was Bush-era Big Government, right? The government of the People’s Republic of Boulder, where we’re always protesting something, would never consider hindering free speech in such a way.

Wrong.

According to a June 5 memo from Boulder City Manager Jane Brautigam to city council, city brass would like council members to pass a new ordinance that would require residents to apply for a permit before they hold a protest in a city park if more than 25 people are expected to attend. The ordinance would also require protesters to stay in a specific “advocacy area.”

“Shut the fuck up!” you say.

“Really?”

Really.

Clearly a response to the Occupy movement, the ordinance would transform protests from a right to be freely exercised at the discretion of the aggrieved — that being The People — to something that government might allow you to do, provided you agree to their numerous terms. Those terms might include a fee for the permit, application deadlines, damage deposits, time limitations and cleanup fees.

This is wrong on its face, and city council needs to reject the idea outright like the Parks and Recreation Advisory Board did earlier this year. The proposed ordinance is a clear infringement

on our First Amendment rights.

City council has already infringed on people’s right to gather peaceably, by closing public parks at night. Now, they want to require people who wish to protest to obtain permits and stand in pre-approved control areas like herded cattle — unless a protest develops spontaneously in response to a current event.

“The Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center believes the Council should do everything in its power to protect free speech and the right of the people to protest and seek a redress of their grievances,” says Carolyn Bninski, a spokeswoman with the activist organization. “City Manager Jane Brautigam’s proposal to put restrictions on our freedom to protest is unnecessary, an infringement on our rights and counterproductive.

It must be absolutely rejected by the Council. If Council accepts this attack on our Constitutional rights, what’s next?”

This is a slippery slope Boulder should never have found itself on. It’s not up to the government to decide when and if the public gets to use public spaces to exercise the constitutionally protected right to assemble and speak.

The very purpose of that clause of the First Amendment is to guarantee that if government does something wrong, government leaders will hear about it through raised voices, angry shouts and fists in the air. That is, after all, how the Founders expressed themselves.

The United States is a nation that was built on dissent. Protests are a tradition that endures, from the Boston Tea Party to the civil rights-era marches (during which low-brow bureaucrats tried to use ordinances and muscle to halt marchers) to the Occupy movement.

Brautigam should withdraw her memo and, if some kind of system is needed for whatever unfathomable bureaucratic reason, establish a reservation system similar to the one used for the Pearl Street Mall instead.

Freedom of speech and assembly isn’t an opportunity the city grants us in exchange for paying a fee and getting the paperwork in on time.

It is our absolute, incontestable right.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

Boulder Weekly

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THE “I WISH I HAD A FARM” BILL At what point can we quit calling this thing a “farm bill”? It’s 1,000 pages thick and authorizes the expenditure of something like $80 billion. But guess what?

Only $16 billion of the $80 billion goes towards anything having to do with farms.

That’s because this economy is still doing pretty poorly for most folks these days.

Once you get outside of Boulder, one out of every seven Americans is now on food stamps — one out of seven. That’s where most of the money in the farm bill is actually going.

I guess it would look bad to our friends and enemies around the world if we were over here debating the passage of the $64 billion “hungry families bill” or “our citizens can’t afford to eat bill.” But it does seem a bit disingenuous to hide billions of dollars in food aid to prevent millions of families from going hungry inside a farm bill that pays farmers not to grow crops on a good portion of our farmland.

This has to be a government operation.

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TAME BEARCATS? The Boulder County Sheriff ’s Office and the Longmont Police Department have a new toy.

Thanks to a $273,000 grant from the Department of Homeland Security, some of our local cops get to feel even more macho rolling around in something called the “Bearcat.” This bad boy is an armored, bulletproof “rescue” vehicle that will purportedly only be used to transport citizens and officers safely in dangerous situations. It can withstand blasts, bullets, bricks and bottles, they say.

Oh, and apparently, the Boulder Police Department already has one.

Since it doesn’t have any guns mounted on it, it won’t be used to mow down protesters who stray from their assigned free speech zones or to take out undesirable homeless people who accidentally wander into yuppie territories.

Nor can it be used effectively to oust Occupy members from their tents.

Maybe CU could afford to buy one, if it were to end its heavy-handed military crackdown on 4/20, which this year cost them about as much as a Bearcat.

Then, after a few years of using that money to buy Bearcats, fearful administrators could use this fleet to be transported safely across the smoke-filled campus each April without being harmed by those wild-eyed, vicious pot smokers.

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YOU DOWN WITH WNV? That buzzing in your ear means de Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Yes, it’s that time of year again. This week state health officials confirmed the presence of West Nile virus in mosquitoes in three Colorado counties, including two of our neighboring ones, Weld and Larimer.

No human cases yet, and most who contract this mosquito-borne illness won’t show any symptoms, but one in five will experience fever, headache, tiredness and body aches. Only about 1 percent experience symptoms like coma, convulsions and paralysis, so we’ve got that going for us.

The thing is, keeping clear of Nile-infested mosquitoes is actually pretty easy if you follow a handy dandy guide that state health officials refer to as the “five Ds:” Drain all standing water in your yard, Dress in long sleeves and pants at Dusk and Dawn (or even better, stay inside on the couch during those times), and use DEET, even though it may be even more hazardous to your health than the bugs.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

letters

LETTERS from Page 6

tect our limited water resources in the face of climate change and other pressures.

Garry will serve the underprivileged and disadvantaged in our midst, a disturbingly large part of the population of Boulder County. Garry will assert local control when state and federal government fails to protect and serve the people and our precious natural environment.

He will stand up to corporations when they attempt to run roughshod over individual and community rights by their single-minded focus on instant gratification for profits, instead of being good corporate citizens who should perform for the public good, and protect and enhance our environment.

Garry will reach out and be a good listener to public input and make transparency in government an absolute foundation for local county government. Garry is open to listening and developing a communitywide vision for the long term.

From my many conversations with him, his personal vision matches my vision for Boulder County as a place where we can be proud to live because it is principled, has integrity, is forwardlooking, values the natural world and protects it, and seeks to be a leader for a saner, more equitable world.

Vote for Garry Sanfaçon.

Richard Andrews/Boulder Excellent delineation of the Sanfaçon-Jones race. I’m sure Elise is a fine person, but it’s easy to see the results of her “compromise” position: 1. The Commanche III coal-fired power plant, which the Sierra Club, etc., accepted in trade for cleaning up other plants a bit. This was decades after we all knew what coal burning does. The driest spring in memory, the hottest year on record so far, and the High Park Fire are just the beginning of reaping what compromise has sown.

2. Sen. Mark Udall, who made so many “friends” during his race in 2010 by saying offshore drilling was OK with him if it’s OK with states. He’s since said fracking is safe, that nuclear plants need even more subsidies, and that we should give free CO2 pollution permits to coal plants. What a home run for the fossil industries! Doubt it? See the mainstream media links at http://spryeye.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-senmark-udall-environmmentalist-or.html.

Leaders are supposed to stand up for their communities, like the sheriffs who refuse to foreclose on widows, etc.

The people will stand behind leaders who stand up for us.

Evan Ravitz/Boulder Boulder Weekly

Erie is not divided

tance or a polarized population. The overwhelming majority of expressed opposition seems to be coming from the industry itself and from parties with corporate connections or vested interests.

Those of us who support the efforts of Erie Rising are fighting for answers from the oil and gas industry that prove their operations are safe. We are fighting for accountability and reform. We’re not fighting with our neighbors. Quite the contrary, in fact. We reach out to

(Re: “A town divided,” News, June 14.) Hadley Vandiver’s interesting and very worthwhile article about social impacts of the current fracking issue in Erie — which aims to get at the big picture by showing different points of view — misses the mark in its portrayal of the local climate.

A town divided, downcast eyes and fists in the air? This is not my perception. I see concern, commitment, resolve and persistence, not angry mili-

them.

In Pandora’s Box, a fable Ms. Vandiver references at the conclusion of her article, there is one thing left in the box after all the evils in the world have been released. It is Hope. We have confidence that our hope for appropriate regulation and oversight of this industrial activity will come to pass. We’ll continue to stay focused on and work toward that goal.

Onward and upward, Erie Rising!

Liz Fisher/Erie

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commentary Is City Council above the law?

by Joel Dyer

A

t a City Council meeting a couple weeks back, Boulder Mayor Matt Appelbaum spent a fair amount of time suggesting that Boulder’s elected leaders need to do a better job of filling out their legally required disclosure forms, which were, of course, designed to shine light on potential conflicts of interest. The mayor’s right.

To say Boulder’s disclosure process isn’t accomplishing its intent is an understatement. If shining light is the goal, then Boulder’s process has dead batteries and a burned-out bulb.

While I applaud the mayor for his recent efforts at what sounds like disclosure reform, I must confess that I am skeptical that it will accomplish anything. At the end of the day, what good is a law if no one is willing to enforce it? It becomes just another conflict of interest.

It seems that Appelbaum’s new focus on the importance of council members providing the basic information that the law requires of them starts with his belief that the current wording of the disclosure requirements isn’t quite clear. So he has asked City Attorney Tom Carr to look into what would be required to rewrite the wording on the disclosure form and even the wording of the city charter that lays out the legal disclosure requirements.

This is where I respectfully disagree with the mayor.

First of all, the current requirements for disclosure as set out in Boulder’s city charter and on the forms designed to reflect those requirements are both clear and comprehensive. That being the case, it is unclear how they will be strengthened by Appelbaum’s suggestion that they be rewritten for clarity. It is more likely that any tinkering with the wording would only serve to weaken disclosure.

But you decide.

Here’s the exact language from the city charter and disclosure forms describing what candidates and elected officials must disclose regarding their 10 June 21, 2012

Boulder City Council members, clockwise from top left: Suzy Ageton, Ken Wilson, George Karakehian, Macon Cowles, Lisa Morzel, KC Becker, Tim Plass, Matt Appelbaum and Suzanne Jones.

business interests. It’s these requirements that the mayor and certain city council members seem to be having all kinds of trouble comprehending and/or abiding by these days. See if you find these requirements in any way puzzling or confusing, because they seem awfully straightforward and simple to me, and I’m not all that bright.

The city charter requires the disclosure of: b) The name, location, and nature of activity of any business entities or enterprises for profit, with holdings of real or personal property or with business dealings in the area encompassed by the Boulder Valley Comprehensive Plan, in which the candidate has any financial interest or is actively engaged as an officer, director, or partner, and the nature of the candidate’s interest or activity; c) The location of any real property within Boulder County in which the candidate has an interest or, if the candidate has a controlling interest in an entity or enterprise disclosed pursuant to subsection (b) of this section, in which the controlled entity or enterprise has any interest and the nature of such interest; Here’s the exact wording from the relevant section on the disclosure form

council members must fill out: “State the name, location, and nature of activity of any business entities or enterprises for profit, with holdings of real or personal property or with business dealings in the area encompassed by the Boulder Valley Comprehensive Plan (BVCP), in which you may have any financial interest, or in which you are actively engaged as an officer, director, or partner. For each, state the nature of your interest or activity therewith, and state whether you have controlling interest in the entity. Business entity means any type of business: sole proprietorship, joint venture, partnership, corporation, trust holding, or investment company, professional corporation, etc. It is immaterial whether the business is making money.”

So there it is. If you own it in any way shape or form, disclose it. Why? Because the folks who wrote our city charter understood that if our elected leaders were able to conceal their business relationships from public view, it could allow those officials to use their political clout inappropriately for their own gain, or for the gain of persons with whom they have business relationships. And even if such power isn’t abused, the writers of the charter

understood that even the appearance of impropriety is extremely disruptive to good government, so they required that all business interests must be disclosed, no matter how large or insignificant they may be. At the end of the day, disclosure makes sure that members of council properly recuse themselves from votes in which they have, or could be perceived to have, a conflict of interest due to their business relationships or property ownership.

It’s not that complicated. If you don’t want your personal business dealings made public, then don’t run for elected office. It’s your choice. It’s not like we handcuff people off the street, drive them downtown and force them to put their names on the ballot. If you’re on city council it’s because for whatever reason, you chose to run for the office and, in doing so, agreed to abide by all the rules, including following the disclosure laws. We have to assume that if you’re smart enough to run a city, you’re smart enough to comprehend the form and, more importantly, fully grasp its intent. That’s why recent disclosure problems on council are an important story.

You may recall from Boulder Weekly’s recent reporting (“Unzipped,” May 17) that councilmember George Karakehian didn’t disclose that he had a vested interest in at least two limited liability corporations (LLCs) that own more than $6 million in prime Boulder real estate in partnership with one of Boulder’s largest developers, Stephen Tebo, and other real estate movers and shakers as well. Karakehian said that he didn’t know that he was supposed to disclose the LLCs on the form because they were sort of his retirement investment and owned in the name of his business.

This is the point where I encourage you to reread the above disclosure language from the form and city charter and attempt to find the part that says that an interest in $6 million in real estate LLCs need not be disclosed as long as it is sort of for retirement purBoulder Weekly

commentary poses. Not to mention that the person not reporting them could “retire” and cash them in tomorrow or the day after he leaves council. It’s not like the term “retirement” in this instance should be viewed as something decades away, and even if that was the case, it makes no difference. These are exactly the types of business interests that the disclosure requirements are intended to bring to light to avoid any appearance of impropriety.

But both Mayor Appelbaum and City Attorney Tom Carr apparently believe Karakehian is simply the victim of unclear wording on the form. Both, in recent days, have said that they don’t believe that Karakehian did anything wrong by leaving the LLCs off of his disclosure form.

But this isn’t about picking on George Karakehian. This is about an overall atmosphere of turning a blind eye to disclosure issues and an unwillingness to enforce the requirements. To look at the disclosure forms that get filed by council members and candidates you could get the impression that half of them have been cryogenically frozen for the last few decades: no income, no jobs, no stocks, no home, no nothing. Possible? Yes. Probable? Not so much.

And omission of business interests and real estate holdings isn’t the only problem when it comes to disclosure.

Providing incorrect information on the form makes business connections just as invisible for voters.

For instance, Councilman Ken Wilson did disclose that he is, or at least was at the time, a limited partner in a real estate trust that owned an apartment complex in Longmont, but he incorrectly listed the owning organization’s name as “Crabapple Court,” an entity that I couldn’t find anything about at the secretary of state’s office.

That’s because Crabapple Court is the name of the complex, not the company that owns it. The actual name of the entity that owns the nearly $700,000 property in Longmont is “520 Emory Street LLC.” That entity, which wasn’t disclosed, I could find.

And I found it pretty interesting.

It shows that Councilman Wilson’s investment partners are David Eisenstein and Stephen Walsh.

Eisenstein is a Boulder attorney whose bio says his practice “emphasizes land use, zoning and planning, real estate, business and commercial law.” Walsh is principal of New Hill Company, which acts as something like a consultant to developers looking to makeover the University Hill area. Walsh’s company Boulder Weekly

produced the influential Hill Commercial Context Study that was presented to the Boulder Planning Board at one time in hopes that city council would support the push for serious redevelopment of the Hill Commercial District.

I’m honestly not suggesting that any of these folks have done anything in the world wrong. I’m simply trying to point out that these are exactly the

How about business profits you might want to spend on an elephant?

The disclosure laws don’t specifically say anything about elephants. And yet there is a big one in the room when it comes to the lack of enforcement of the disclosure laws.

types of business connections that Boulder voters and even fellow councilmembers ought to be made aware of, and that such public awareness is only possible if correct information is provided on the disclosure forms. That’s why they call it disclosure, which, by the way, is defined as “the action of making new or secret information known.”

I don’t think these problems are happening because our leaders are incapable of understanding the requirements and intent of the disclosure laws — that would be a sad thought. I think they are happening because up until recently nobody has been paying attention to disclosure information and, even when they do, nobody is willing to enforce the law. And that makes for sloppy government at best. So who is going to stand up and enforce the disclosure laws for the voters and taxpayers?

It certainly isn’t the mayor.

Consider that concerning the Karakehian disclosure issue, he was quoted in the Camera as saying, “Anyone reading the current rules and current forms had no way to know whether that had to be disclosed or not.” The “that” in the mayor’s statement refers to the two LLCs holding more than $6 million in Boulder real estate that were not mentioned on Karakehian’s disclosure form.

Obviously the mayor is a fine apologist,

but he lacks something as an enforcer, assuming that his friends make mistakes while the rest of us break the law.

It’s human nature.

So how about the city attorney, Tom Carr? But wait, can a guy who was hired by the city council and who answers to the city council and who can be fired by the city council really be expected to enforce rules on those who hold his future in their hands?

Not likely and, frankly, I think the jury is already in on Carr’s willingness to confront his bosses on council about disclosure issues. But just to be clear, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane and reexamine how Carr handled the Karakehian disclosure situation when it was brought to his attention by political activist and council irritant Seth Brigham, who was, subsequent to his bringing up disclosure problems on council, hit with a restraining order by the city, through Carr’s office.

Following Boulder Weekly’s story on Karakehian’s disclosure issues (“Unzipped,” May 17), Carr made it clear that he didn’t see anything wrong with the two undisclosed LLCs not being reported on the disclosure form. At that time, Carr told Boulder Weekly that “if the language were clearer and it said it included retirement benefits, then maybe there would be a problem.”

Really?

In other words, based on Carr’s apparent interpretation of the disclosure laws regarding LLCs and other business interests, any councilmember or candidate can legally not disclose any LLC or presumably other type of business entity, and the property they own, as long as the person filling out the disclosure form believes that the undisclosed assets owned by the undisclosed business entities are for a specific future purpose, like retirement.

But if that’s true, then it must be OK to not disclose a business interest that could someday have its profits used to pay for your kid’s future college tuition, or that maybe you might donate to a worthy cause someday.

Those uses aren’t specifically mentioned on the disclosure form, either.

Or better yet, how about business profits you might want to spend someday to buy an elephant? The disclosure laws don’t specifically say anything about elephants. And yet there is a big one in the room when it comes to the lack of enforcement of the disclosure laws.

When Boulder Weekly inquired about the Karakehian disclosure issue to District Attorney Stan Garnett —

who, like Carr, had also been provided with information from Brigham — we were told that an investigation was under way and that it would not be concluded for approximately two weeks. Ten minutes after getting this information from Garnett, BW informed Karakehian of the investigation by phone. He was surprised and said that Tom Carr had told him that Garnett was not investigating the matter. Karakehian then said he needed to hang up in order to call Carr.

Approximately an hour later, DA Garnett telephoned BW to say that the Karakehian investigation had been closed. When questioned about the coincidental timing of the investigation’s rather sudden conclusion, Garnett told BW that he had not talked to Carr about the issue that day. We also asked Carr if he had spoken with Garnett during the hour when the investigation went from two weeks to concluded. Carr also said he had not spoken with Garnett during that timeframe.

Boulder Weekly then made official requests for the phone records of both Carr and Garnett for the time period in question. Both phone records reflected that Carr and Garnett had, despite their earlier denials, spoken with one another just before Garnett called BW to say the investigation was closed. Both men eventually admitted that the Karakehian disclosure issue had been discussed.

Is this really all we can expect when it comes to the enforcement of something as important as city council’s disclosure requirements? After all, these are the same people willing to create a police state to stop a 4/20 protester from speaking her mind on a public, taxpayer-funded college campus, but they can’t be bothered to enforce actual laws that pertain to themselves. Isn’t there a word for that?

And, as if we needed yet another potential conflict of interest between a city employee and her bosses on council, the folks who wrote our city charter seem to have anticipated the hesitation to enforce the disclosure laws, so they actually wrote in an initial process to handle such problems. It’s not the city attorney who has to deal with disclosure inaccuracies, at least not initially — it’s the city manager.

Sorry Jane Brautigam, it appears that the buck stops with you, at least for now. I know you’re really busy at the moment trying to push through that requirement that would severely curb the free speech rights of Boulder citizens by making them get a permit from see COUNCIL Page 15

June 21, 2012 11

T

he reason the dinosaurs are no longer around,” Chris Lewicki recently told a conference on extra-terrestrial mining, “is that they didn’t have a space program.”

No one laughed.

The 45 mining engineers, robotacists, aspiring entrepreneurs and other specialists attending the Third Joint Meeting of the Space Resources Round Table and the Planetary & Terrestrial Mining Sciences Symposium, held June 4-7 at the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, are a crew that takes asteroids very seriously — both as an existential threat to life on Earth and as a business opportunity.

As does Lewicki. He is president of Planetary Resources, Inc., the Asteroid Mining Company. Planetary Resources made international news when it held a coming-out press conference in Seattle April 24 and announced 1) its goal was to mine near-Earth asteroids, and 2) it had the backing of some serious, high-profile, and deep-pocketed entrepreneurs, including Google Chairman Eric Schmidt, Google co-founder Larry Page, real estate and software developer H. Ross Perot, Jr., and filmmaker James Cameron.

The announcement, together with the successful launch of Space Exploration Technology, Inc.’s (SpaceX’s) commercially developed Dragon cargo-carrying spacecraft on the company’s Falcon 9 rocket, prompted the country’s space enthusiasts to prick up their ears like nothing in decades.

Lewicki said that in the six weeks since the press conference, Planetary Resources has received 2,000 job applications and 5,000 investment requests. And thousands of emails saying, in so many words, it’s about time, right on, at last and god speed.

The most striking thing in the outpouring, he said, has been “the element I never experienced in all my time at NASA, which was one of hope.”

Planetary’s business plan is direct and audacious: First, it intends to prospect for resource-rich asteroids relatively close to Earth.

(Near-Earth asteroids are asteroids orbiting the 12 June 21, 2012

sent for a close-up look at Earthcrossing asteroids, which are asteroids that cross Earth’s orbit.

Several of these are seen for the first time each year. Planetary Resources wants to send interceptor missions to some of those that come closest to the Earth, which will allow it to quickly acquire data on several nearEarth asteroids.

Beefed-up versions of the interceptor craft equipped with lasers for deep space communications can then be sent to rendezvous with asteroids much farther from Earth and be put into orbit around them for extended data collection on the asteroids’ shape, rotation, density, and surface and sub-surface composition.

Watering holes

sun within about 30 million miles of Earth’s orbit, which is relatively close compared to asteroids in the asteroid belt, which are roughly 90 million to 250 million miles from Earth. Some 9,000 near-Earth asteroids have been discovered in recent years, and the number is growing by about 1,000 a year. More than 1,500 of them are easier to get to than the moon, Lewicki said.)

Initially, the prospecting will be done with swarms of small orbiting space telescopes smaller than a lecture podium. (For comparison, spy satellites can be as long as an 18-wheel truck.) The company has already built prototypes. These telescopes can also be used for terrestrial imaging at a fraction of the cost of contemporary military and civilian observation satellites, which will make remote imaging from space available and affordable to a vastly expanded pool of new users — and will provide early revenue for Planetary Resources.

“The reason we are focused on tiny little telescopes,” Lewicki said, “is that they are really, really cheap.”

“We want to build Fords, not Ferraris,” he added.

The orbiting mini-telescopes will be followed by telescopes to which propulsion and additional scientific instrumentation has been added. These will be

The resources the company will be looking for include metals, precious and otherwise, but heading the list will be water.

Apart from being necessary to sustain life and being essential to a host of chemical and manufacturing processes, the water molecule can be split into hydrogen and oxygen, which can be used as rocket fuel. The ability to refuel spacecraft after they have climbed out of Earth’s gravity well would spectacularly expand humanity’s space-faring abilities.

“The water resources and the in-space use of the water resources is what allows you to do anything else in space,” he said.

That view was shared by a number of other conference participants.

“Access to water is the single most critical thing,” said Jim Keravala, chief operating officer of Shackleton Energy Company, a Texas start-up company that wants to mine water on the moon — two NASA missions conclusively established its presence several years ago — and turn it into rocket fuel, which it will dispense from a network of refueling service stations that it will establish in low Earth orbit.

The moon’s gravity is only one-sixth that of Earth’s, which means getting the fuel from the moon to the service stations would require only 1/14th to 1/20th as much propellant as launching a comparable amount from Earth.

“Water is the single most important locationdependent resource for a potential future human mission to Mars,” according to a paper written for the conference by a group of NASA and academic space scientists studying possible Mars exploration.

The consensus among conference participants extended considerably beyond the importance of water and included the future of human activity in space and a number of basic points of agreement that Boulder Weekly

collectively amount to a shared vision of how humanity will expand into space.

Among them: • There can be no sustainable human presence in space without the exploitation of extraterrestrial resources.

(In situ resource utilization, or ISRU, is the term of art.)

• The most important resource to find and exploit is water, followed closely by other “volatiles,” including carbon dioxide, ammonia and methane.

The presence of these and several other volatiles has been detected on the moon, asteroids and Mars.

• Mining on the moon, asteroids and Mars will require the extensive use of custom-designed, self-replicating robots.

• Energy for extra-terrestrial mining operations will come from either solar or nuclear power.

• The early business opportunities for private space ventures include the production of rocket fuel for extra-terrestrial refueling of spacecraft, remote sensing from orbit and, possibly, solarpowered satellites that would beam electricity down to Earth.

• The private sector will take the lead in space exploration from now on.

NASA’s role will increasingly become research, support and enabling. If space exploration isn’t profitable, it won’t happen.

• Success will depend on dramatically reducing costs (by at least an order of magnitude or more) and keeping them down.

• Success will also depend on “bootstrapping,” with self-replicated robotics.

The concept calls for simple robots to mine raw materials that other simple robots can use to reproduce themselves, and then more complex robots that will perform larger and more complicated tasks — eventually building an entire extraterrestrial industrial infrastructure.

• Extraterrestrial conditions, including temperature extremes, high vacuum, unearthly soils, low or no gravity, and so on, will pose unique challenges for mining, but will also present miners with some unique opportunities.

• The satellites and robots used for prospecting, mining and eventually manufacturing have to be small, affordable, expendable and replacable. Failure, and the ability to recover from it, has to be an option.

The new world There is also agreement that the risks facing private-sector space ventures are enormous, but so are the potential payoffs — riches beyond imagination. Planetary Resources and Shackleton executives have not hesitated to compare the payoff, and the lure, Boulder Weekly

to the discovery and settlement of the New World and the exploitation of its resources — only a lot larger.

“It will be tens or hundreds of billions a year,” Lewicki said.

Shackleton’s Kervala also put the returns “in the hundreds of billions of dollars.”

How long would it take to bootstrap the creation of a major extraterrestrial industrial presence? Only a few decades, in the estimation of four NASA researchers who studied the question. A team led by Philip Metzger at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida calculates that, thanks to advances in robotics and additive manufacturing (the process of making three-dimensional objects from a digital file with a device that builds them up layer by layer by spraying material like an ink jet printer), “it has almost become feasible to bootstrap a self-sustaining, selfexpanding industry” on the moon “at a reasonably low cost” during a period of about 20 years. The amount of equipment necessary to land on the moon to get things going would amount to as little as 12 metric tons delivered over the 20-year timeframe.

“The strategy begins with a subreplicating system and evolves it toward full self-sustainability (full-closure) via an in situ technology spiral,” they wrote.

“The industry grows exponentially due to the free real estate, energy and material resources of space. The mass of industrial assets at the end of bootstrapping will be 156 metric tons with 60

humanoid robots, or as high as 40,000 metric tons with as many as 100,000 humanoid robots if faster manufacturing is supported by launching a total of 41 metric tons to the moon.”

“Within another few decades with no further investment, it can have millions of times the industrial capacity of the United States … This industry promises to revolutionize the human condition,” they conclude.

Implementation of this grandiose vision begins with some nitty-gritty mining, and that’s where a mining engineer like Leslie Gertsch, a professor at the Missouri University of Science and Technology at Rolla, come in.

Gertsch presented a paper pointing out that mining the lunar regolith (surface soils) for volatiles will involve more than just scooping the stuff into trucks and hauling it off for processing.

Merely disturbing the regolith might be enough to cause the volatiles to sublimate (change directly from frozen solids to gases that dissipate in the near vacuum that passes for the moon’s atmosphere.)

Consequently, she proposes adapting a number of mature terrestrial mining techniques to mine them from below. These include long-wall mining, surface caving (where loose material is under-mined and allowed to fall into a drift) and horizontal directional drilling, borrowed from the oil industry.

Others think surface mining could be made to work. Bonnie Cooper of ESCG/Jacobs Technology, as well as her colleagues Kris Zacny of Honeybee

Robotics and D.S. McKay of NASA, proposed an approach to mining lunar regolith called pneumatic separation.

The process takes advantage of experimental evidence that the finer the grain size of lunar soil particles, the higher their hydrogen content. (The hydrogen in question is believed to come from the solar wind. Hydrogen can be used to make water, or as rocket fuel. Cooper also points to evidence that lunar water deposits aren’t confined to permanently shaded craters at the Moon’s poles, but that small amounts of water are also present in soils in the moon’s equatorial regions.)

The system Cooper proposes is a wheeled mobile extractor that uses small puffs of gas to stir up the finest and most hydrogen-rich particles (just a few microns in diameter), which would then be trapped and stripped of their hydrogen and any other volatiles they might contain.

“Pneumatic separation and transport gives us the potential to obtain the vast majority of the moon’s resources in a simple and economical way, anywhere on the moon,” she says. Cooper’s colleagues at Honeybee Robotics have already performed a proof-of-concept experiment of a pneumatic transfer system in a vacuum chamber.

Robot with an auger The Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) mission in 2009, which crashed a satellite into a crater while a second satellite in orbit measured the chemical composition of the plume, indicated that the concentration of water in the frozen lunar regolith is 5.6 percent. Other volatiles, such as mercury, sodium, sulfur dioxide, carbon dioxide, formaldehyde, ammonia and methanol, were also detected.

When robotic prospectors land on the moon and Mars in search of water, they will not be chipping away at frozen lunar and Martian soil with pick-axes or any other conventional extraction techniques.

“Icy soils are harder than concrete,” said Zacny. His company, Honeybee Robotics, specializes in making advanced robotic and spacecraft systems.

And that’s on Earth, where frozen soils were measured at 40 below zero, which is positively balmy compared to low temperatures during the lunar night (which lasts two weeks) and the Martian winter. Moreover, any frozen water in exposed lunar or Martian soil would quickly be lost through sublimation.

However, if picking at icy regolith is See SPACE Page 14

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a non-starter, drilling is another matter.

So Honeybee designed a wheeled prospecting robot fitted with an auger that retains the soil on its flutes. The auger is then raised into a cylindrical extraction chamber, which is sealed. Once the auger and the soil are in the extraction chamber they are heated, and the water (and any other volatiles that might be present) is removed as vapor to a tank, where it condenses. The auger is then lowered out of the extraction chamber and spun in reverse to get rid of the dried soil. The robot then moves on to the next drilling site and the process is repeated.

Honeybee demonstrated drilling to one meter in ice and ice-cemented ground to prove the concept. It also built a scaled model of the extraction system to demonstrate the feasibility of water extraction. It was tested in a “Mars chamber” and successfully recovered more than 60 percent of the water present, Zacny said.

One problem facing those who want extraterrestrial mining robots is finding suitable test sites. Lunar regolith may be granular, but it is nothing like sand on Earth. And it’s in short supply on Earth. The Earth’s total supply of lunar soil currently consists of whatever was scooped up and returned to Earth by the Apollo astronauts.

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One solution, proposed by Pacific International Space Center for Exploration Systems (PISCES) of Hilo, Hawaii, is the establishment of a test center high on the slopes of a volcano on the island of Hawaii. According to John Hamilton of PISCES, the island has soil at 9,000 to 11,000 feet that is analogous to Martian soil.

The basaltic rock is also fairly similar to lunar regolith, and apart from testing sampling and mining robots in it, PISCES is investigating using it for construction materials. Lunar regolith can be formed into building blocks by sintering, a process that involves the controlled melting of a powder at the grain boundaries to produce optimum mechanical properties. They could be used for paving launch pads, providing radiation shielding and constructing buildings, including human habitations, eventually. These techniques could have terrestrial uses as well. The paving part has gotten the attention of the Hawaiian legislature, which is interested in finding ways to pave the state’s roads without asphalt.

(Currently, all the asphalt used in Hawaii has to be shipped in from the mainland.) The terrestrial uses for basaltic construction materials — blocks, bricks and paving — could provide PISCES and other companies with early revenues and a path to

develop their technologies.

A different approach to testing is to manufacture material that simulates lunar and other celestial regoliths.

Zybek Advanced Products (ZAP), a Boulder company, is doing just that.

The company, which has produced lunar simulants for NASA and the U.S. Geological Survey, makes the material using a system that can generate plasma temperatures approaching 20,000K. The system produces glass from a wide variety of feed stock materials. The glasses are then broken up into jagged particles of sub-micron to 100-micron size, which simulate those found on the moon. Company officials think there are a number of terrestrial applications of its technology as well.

NASA has funded a lot of robot mining research over the years, but it may have stumbled onto a way of getting a lot of new, low-cost technology.

The space agency runs an annual competition in which university studentdesigned lunar mining robots compete against each other. The machines are required to excavate and load a minimum of 10 kilograms of simulated lunar soil from a 25 x 25 foot bin of the stuff in two separate 10-minute timed competition events. The robots can be either remotely controlled or autonomous.

Last year, 55 teams entered the contest.

“NASA got 55 prototypes for free. I call it crowd-sourcing,” said Robert Mueller, chief of NASA’s Surface Systems Office at the Kennedy Space Center. He said the competition prods NASA’s engineers to think outside the box.

The event’s corporate sponsors include Caterpillar, Newmont Mining, Harris and Honeybee Robotics.

Caterpillar has been sufficiently impressed by the work of some team members that it has subsequently hired seven of them.

The issue of asteroids crashing into the Earth didn’t receive a lot of attention at the conference, but one point was alluded to several times — that space prospecting activities can’t help but lead to a boom in the discovery of asteroids, the tracking of their orbits (how else could you stake a claim on a lode zipping around at 80,000 miles an hour?) and, therefore, the identification of potential threats.

If and when a mature asteroid mining industry emerges, it would likely have the resources available to either divert a threat or, given sufficient warning, mine it out of existence.

Which means the chances of humanity getting sucker-punched by an asteroid the way the dinosaurs were will take a giant leap downward.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

commentary COUNCIL from Page 11

the city before they can protest things they care about, but you are under some time constraints on this disclosure matter — not that anyone will likely enforce those time constraints should you choose to ignore them.

I could be wrong, not being an attorney and all, but the city charter seems to indicate that from the time it is pointed out to you that there is inaccurate or missing information on a disclosure form, you are supposed to get

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the member of council in clear and comprehensive question to correct their dislaws we already have on the closure form within 72 hours. books, let’s just ask every So, for now, you can start the member of council to try clock with Wilson and again, refile a new discloKarakehian, but you might as sure form listing the accuwell go ahead and ask for a rate name of every single do-over from every member business interest that they of council. have any ownership in or City Attorney Tom Carr That might just be the control over whatsoever. best way to move forward That is, after all, the intent on this issue. Instead of rewriting the of the disclosure laws and what they

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V

ictims of the 2010 Fourmile Fire are urging Boulder County residents to help those affected by the massive High Park Fire, and one recommended avenue is donating to an emergency fund created by the NoCo Rebuilding Network.

All money contributed to the fund will be allocated to those whose homes have been significantly affected by the fire, and who decide to rebuild sustainably in Larimer County.

The High Park Fire has far eclipsed the Fourmile Fire in terms of size and damage. It has grown to more than 65,000 acres, about 10 times larger than the 2010 blaze in Boulder County, and it has destroyed at least 189 homes, breaking the old record of 169 set by the Fourmile Fire. The 2002 Hayman Fire, the largest in Colorado history, burned more than 137,000 acres and destroyed 133 homes.

Joanne Cole of Gold Hill recalls that during the Fourmile Fire, residents formed the Boulder Mountain Fire Relief Fund about a week into the blaze and raised $800,000 for the local victims and fire departments.

“Our friends and neighbors in Larimer County are going to need help,” Cole says.

The NoCo Rebuilding Network is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization formed in spring 2011 to raise funds, resources and volunteers to assist in sustainable rebuilding efforts in the aftermath of local disasters.

To make a donation or for more information, see www.NoCoRebuilding. org or call 970-310-5791.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

were supposed to do to start with.

And after that, if we find still more LLCs and other things that have been left out yet again, or more wrong names of ownership organizations, we won’t have to wonder if it was an accident or intentional. We’ll know.

And that will go a long ways towards restoring public confidence in our elected leaders — that is, unless the disclosure forms are still wrong.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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olorado is primed to be powered by solar thermal energy, but one big challenge stands in the way: No one seems to know

about it.

Neal Lurie, executive director of Colorado Solar Energy Industries Association, presented a talk on the benefits of solar thermal energy and Colorado’s opportunity to be at the forefront of its implementation during the Boulder County commissioners meeting on June 14.

The lack of awareness about this alternative energy source presents one of the biggest obstacles of implementing solar thermal energy, Lurie says. Colorado’s climate is near-perfect for the alternative energy source, and startup loans for those wanting to make the switch will be available starting in August.

The technology used in solar thermal increases in performance when the outside temperature differs from the heated liquid inside the panels. The greater the temperature difference, the more efficient the process.

Colorado is the best-suited state in the country for thermal technologies due to its great amount of sunshine, differences between night and day temperatures and its cold groundwater, according to research conducted by the National Renewable Energy Laboratory (NREL) and the Florida Solar Energy Center.

Heating up alternative energy Solar thermal advocate argues for Colorado to be this technology’s next home

by Don Tartaglione When it comes to solar energy, photovoltaic (PV) solar panels draw most of the attention. Those solar panels transfer the sun’s rays directly into electricity.

Solar thermal energy uses sunlight to heat a liquid, usually water or a saline solution, which is then used to heat a home or a swimming pool. It can also generate electricity by heating a turbine,

causing it to spin, but it is most commonly used for heating purposes.

One of the major benefits of solar thermal energy is how efficiently the heated liquid can be stored for later use, an aspect that solar panels lack due to the difficulty of storing electricity.

The technology can keep the liquid hot enough to use for several hours after sunset, according to Lurie.

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“Think of the storage unit as a giant coffee mug,” Lurie says.

Other parts of the world are far ahead of the United States when it comes to using the sun as an alternative energy source, according to Lurie’s presentation. One out of every 10 cups of tea in China are being heated using solar energy. Sixty million Chinese homes See SOLAR THERMAL Page 18

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June 21, 2012 17

boulderganic eco-briefs

by Boulder Weekly staff BOULDER BECOMES A CLEAN AIR CITY

Boulder recently joined the Center for Biological Diversity’s “Clean Air Cities” initiative, becoming the newest of the program’s 26 cities to sign on to the resolution in an attempt to pressure President Barack Obama and the Environmental Protection Agency to properly enforce the Clean Air Act. The Center for Biological Diversity’s Climate Law Institute created the nationwide program in an effort to show the federal government that cities of all sizes and ecological diversity believe that climate change is very real and is negatively affecting every corner of the country. Cities large and small, ranging from Philadelphia, Seattle and Salt Lake City to Berkeley, Calif., and Madison, Wis., have already joined the campaign.

Rose Braz, the center’s climate campaign director, points out that “almost every week there is some new attack on the Clean Air Act.” Boulder, she says, “is standing with all of these other cities in support

of using the Clean upstream around irrigation and dams, from Air Act urgently Lake Powell to Rifle on the Colorado River and ambitiously to and from Grand Junction to Delta on the try to slow climate Gunnison River. change.”

The absence of these fish passages may According to have a short-term effect on these endanBraz, the act, which gered species, according to the Fish and was amended in Wildlife Service. The real concern will rise 1970 by President from ongoing drought conditions, which Nixon to include could limit fish access to the upper regions state and federal of the river where they spawn for years to regulations on air come, a setback for the Upper Colorado pollution, is under fire from the fossil fuel River Endangered Fish Recovery Program, Upper Colorado River Endangered Fish Recovery Program which was founded in industry. Critics of the Obama administration 1988 to pull four speEndangered argue that the president cies of endangered fish Colorado pikeand EPA are not doback from the brink of minnow ing enough to use the extinction.

Clean Air Act to reduce Affected species ingreenhouse gas emisclude the endangered sions.

Colorado pikeminnow, razorback sucker, boFISH LADDERS OUT OF nytail and humpback WATER chub. Pikeminnows Low river flows this have been known to year have water levels migrate up to 200 miles. in western Colorado too Fish screens will be low to fill the passages operated on the Colothat endangered sperado River, to prevent fish from entering cies of fish use to make their way upstream canals, and on the Gunnison River. to spawn. These passages, or fish ladders, Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com were constructed to restore fish access

SOLAR THERMAL from Page 17

and 10 million European homes have solar thermal systems installed, compared to less than 1 million in the United States, according to a Solar Thermal Roadmap released by the Solar Thermal Alliance of Colorado.

Lurie says 80 percent of Colorado homes are heated with natural gas, which he describes as an economically volatile source of energy due to its fluctuating price.

Currently, natural gas prices are relatively inexpensive, which creates

little economic incentive to switch to solar thermal, he says. But in the long run, the stable price of solar thermal heating methods could motivate people to switch.

The average cost of solar thermal systems is between $2,000 and $4,500, according to rechargecolorado.org.

One of the benefits of investing in renewable energy is that money is almost immediately saved due to a drop in energy costs of a home or business.

Elevations Credit Union will launch a program Aug. 8 to provide loans to homes and business to cover the costs needed to invest in solar thermal and other energy efficiency technologies.

“There is about $35 million in lending capital available for homes and businesses in Boulder county and the city of Denver,” says Jeremy Epstein, Energy Smart finance project manager for Elevations Credit Union’s project.

To qualify, buildings must have

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“The goal of the grant is to create a market transformation in the field of energy efficiency whereby it becomes a new norm,” Epstein says. And the more people who make the switch to solar thermal energy, the argument goes, the more people will have a chance to hear about the technology.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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buzz

THE WISDOM OF WILCO

W

ilco is a chameleon band. The group’s sound has changed dramatically in the 17 years since the release of its first E.P., A.M. Anchored by guitarist and songwriter Jeff Tweedy, Wilco bridges country, rock and alternative genres with grace and ease, and the once-obscure band is now one of the most successful and famous indie rock acts in the country.

No one seems to be able to pin Wilco down into a particular niche, including the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences, which has given Wilco Grammy nominations for best album in no fewer that four different categories: rock album (twice), Americana album, contemporary folk album and alternative music album. The band launched into indie rock stardom with the 2005 release of A Ghost Is Born, which netted Wilco its only Grammy wins, for Best Alternative Music Album and Best Recording Package. Since then, Wilco’s three subsequent full-length releases have charted extremely well, and each have been nominated for a Grammy.

The band, which originally formed from the remnants of Tweedy’s old alt-country rock group, Uncle Tupelo, went through a flurry of lineup changes at the beginning of its existence, but once multi-instrumentalist Pat Sansone and avant-garde guitarist Nels Cline joined in 2004, the lineup — which also includes bassist John Stirrat, drummer Glenn Kotche and keyboardist Mikael Jorgensen — gained stability. Gone is the country-rock riffing from Wilco’s early days, replaced with jazzy guitar noodling and the occasional noise-driven explosive transition.

Boulder Weekly called Tweedy and talked about the advantages of a stable lineup, how the band connects emotionally with new material, and what

JEFF TWEEDY TALKS ABOUT WHAT DRIVES THE GRAMMY-WINNING BAND BY DAVID ACCOMAZZO

20 June 21, 2012

makes a good audience.

It’s interesting when you listen to these last three albums now that Nels Cline has joined the band. You guys have always had these very kind of experimental sections, these freak-out moments in your songs, and Nels kind of pushed those to the jazz side. How do you guys create those moments in the song when you are playing together?

I don’t know if I think of them as jazz, anymore than maybe free-form rock music that’s maybe inspired by jazz, originally. I look at it more of as “free jazz” or “free moments.” It’s really much more intuitive than any kind of genre specification. We are just trying to express ourselves, and make stuff happen that feels exciting musically, and hopefully has the potential to melt some faces or blow some minds, or whatever.

Whenever you make a new record, how do you judge it after the fact?

Do you say, “Man, this is really good,” or, “Man, I wish we had more time to do this”? How did you feel about this record right after it came out?

I think I’ve always felt like we’ve made the best record. That’s the Boulder Weekly

buzz whole point. I don’t really go back come at it from a different angle, and much after that, and think where that’s what we work really hard to be would it fall in the catalog, like people able to do. But you don’t have to try at in your profession do, or maybe obses- all with the new songs. That’s, I guess, sive fans and stuff. I don’t think we’ve what I’m getting at. ever put out a record honestly that I When you record the songs, they didn’t feel at the end of it, “Wow, that are still fresh and kind of in that creis the best we could possibly do. That ative stage where you’re figuring is the best record we’ve ever made. We everything out. When you perform certainly couldn’t have done this five them live, do they change character at years ago, because we wouldn’t have all? been able to do this and this and this.”

Well, almost inevitably they get And then, immediately after that, better. Which is always one of the after it’s abandoned, and I have to say ways that you go back and think that goodbye to it, I start to feel a sense of you could have done better on the what I could do better. What we could record, and then you start feeling do better, and what some of the things more excited about the next record were, on the record, that were inspiryou’re going to make. Almost invariing, and how that will lead to the next ably you feel like they get better and record. they get more powerful. I don’t know.

So this lineup of Wilco has been You just don’t have an audience in the around for the longest, longer than studio. That’s one of the things I’ve had to learn, you can’t try and replace any other lineup. How does it feel to that energy have that sort with anyof stability thing. It’s just with the a different group? How ON THE BILL: Wilco plays Red Rocks Amphitheatre on Friday, June 22, and thing. There does it affect Saturday, June 23. Punch Brothers opens on is a real colyour guys’ Friday, and Dr. Dog opens on Saturday. Shows laboration songwriting start at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $52.75. 18300 W. Alameda Pkwy., Morrison, 720-865-2494. and perforwith a good mance? audience that I think it’s enhances a really unique; I’ve never really had it performance. before. I guess Uncle Tupelo was What makes a good audience? together the longest, other than this I think just an audience that’s along lineup of the band. It’s pretty amazing for the ride, and is open as you are to achieve these new levels of musical hopefully, to what’s gonna happen — communication. It just saves a lot of whatever happens — a good audience time in the studio for the most part, is able to kind of be rapt and invested that’s one of the concrete things I can emotionally in the quiet parts and the say. Other than that, it’s a lot of stuff loud parts. Sometimes you have audithat I don’t know if I can explain. It’s ences that are good at one or the other. just things that can’t be replaced with A great audience is good at both. anything. It’s experience. And you can’t How do you feel you’ve evolved as really make it happen, you have to actu- a songwriter throughout your career, ally have it — you have to have all those and where do you see yourself going shows under your belt, and all of that from here? music played over a period of time. It I don’t know if it’s really necessary just doesn’t seem like it takes as long to or helpful for me to think about where communicate an idea in the studio, and I’m going. I’m just more confident at sometimes it takes no time at all. It’s this point in my life that songwriting is just kind of there and available to every- something that comes very naturally, one. and is just part of who I am.

Which songs from the new album To be honest, I’m more concerned do you like to play the most live? Do with living my life than writing about you find you’re leaning towards one, my life. I feel like that’s really the or looking forward to playing one main thing I know now that I didn’t every night? know when I was younger — and that No, to be honest, all of them I’m is that you have to have a life to write looking forward to, because they are, by about one. If you’re more worried definition, the freshest songs in the about having experiences so you can catalog right now. write about them, I think you’re kinda Yeah, I mean, it’s impossible to play being ridiculous, and I think a lot of a song over many, many years every young people look at it like that. night and always be able to stay I just want to have a lot of experiengaged with it emotionally. It’s just ences, and I don’t give a shit if I write not gonna happen. I mean, on a really about them or not. good night, you can feel things and Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

F. Murray Abraham

Simone Dinnerstein

Near-lost composers come to life at Colorado Music Festival

opera excerpt and the incomparable Requiem. But that is hardly the only festival-within-the-festival to be found at CMF this summer.

An ongoing topic are the “Rediscovered Masters” concerts, dedicated to Jewish composers who disappeared during World War II. Then there are three chamber music concerts on Tuesdays, June 26, July 10 and July 24, at the newly renovated eTown hall in Boulder, with programs of sufficient scope to represent a mini-chamber-fest.

There are three world music programs, including the Brubeck Brothers Quartet and the sensationally popular Time for Three, that will likely bring in their own audiences. Yet another audience will be attracted to the three family concerts, including “Disney in Concert” July 5 and 6.

All of these are listed on the CMF website (http://comusic.org/concerts-events/summerfestival/2012-festival/), along with stand-alone events that beg not to be overlooked: A return of the educational feature “Beyond the Score” July 19 and 20, this

Salieri, Mendelssohn on the bill

by Peter Alexander

B

oulder’s Chautauqua this summer will be home to several music festivals.

Principally there is the annual Colorado Music Festival (CMF), an attractively eclectic festival that has become one of Boulder’s premiere cultural events.

Running June 24 through Aug. 3, CMF offers four concerts every week, almost all of them in the Chautauqua Auditorium.

But within the CMF are several mini-festivals and concert series, each of which would be tempting all by itself. To get all of them together in a single six-week span is a feast.

Well-advertised is the “Magnificent Mozart Mini-Festival,” a series of five concerts July 8–15 that features symphonies, concertos, wind serenades, an

Channeling John

G

uitarists have this way of talking about their new guitars like proud parents. So after apologizing briefly to Bill Frisell a few weeks ago for intruding on his preLondon flight time with a phone interview — the publicist told us to call at that time, and that’s where he happened to be — we thought we’d ask him about his new I35 LC, a ruddy, sunburst-finish hollow body electric guitar built by Collings that he added to his collection not long ago. Frisell’s daughter Monica had posted a few shots of him with it on her blog a few weeks earlier.

“Oh yeah, thanks,” he beamed, a canned lady voice behind him announcing a boarding. “It’s sort of modeled after a Gibson 335. It’s just a superBoulder Weekly

year devoted to Gustav Holst’s Planets; the CMF’s continuing celebration of Mahler, offering the Seventh Symphony July 26 and 27; “Brandenburgs — Old & New” July 29, featuring three of Bach’s popular orchestral works alongside new pieces inspired by them; and the Festival Finale Aug. 2 and see CMF Page 24

good guitar, like you went through a hundred Gibsons and just found the right one. Collings just makes such good guitars, every little detail, they’re sweated out. It’s just a really good guitar; I’m very happy with it.”

Frisell’s recent project, recorded early last summer, is an album of John Lennon covers entitled All We Are Saying…, finding the guitarist gently folding 16 solo Lennon and Beatles tunes into his spare instrumental ensemble, backed by violinist Jenny Scheinman, pedal steel player Greg Leisz, drummer Kenny Wollesen and bassist Tony Scherr.

For many years now, Frisell has made high art of murmur, teasing and coaxing jazz standards and weather-hewn Americana not so much as a master interpreter by way of statement, but more often as a pilgrim by way of inquiry. “Across the Universe” and “In My Life” both commence with barely audible harmonic notes, leading the band into gently unrav-

Jazz guitarist Bill Frisell tackles the mighty task of covering the famous Beatle

by Dave Kirby

Time for Three plays with the Colorado Symphony Orchestra.

eling renditions, languid and almost mournful, while “Revolution” sways and kicks a little like a stickyfloored roadhouse number near last call, a few pinched and slurred notes in the chorus-verse cadences.

Frisell fans can’t resist anticipating their way through his reading of these songs, compelled to guess which passages he and this band choose to underline and which they’ll choose to voice parenthetically. But it’s ample testament to both the richness of the canon and Frisell’s unrelentingly curious mind that he can summon such depth and a relaxed spontaneity to such a familiar catalog, unafraid to share his own sense of exploration through songs that everybody knows by heart.

Even Frisell himself admitted to being beguiled by the project.

“My standard line is that I’ve known this stuff my whole life,” he says, “but in terms of actually playing them. I mean, I played a few of those songs in junior high school, in Denver. But to get inside and really play them, it’s really exciting for me. And see FRISELL Page 24

June 21, 2012 23

overtones

FRISELL from Page 23 Monica Frisell, www.monicafrisell.com

actually, at the time when we come to Boulder, it’ll be sort of right in the midst of really taking this thing on the road. For me, that’s when the music really starts coming to life.”

“When it came to recording, there was just this emotional thing flying around the room, with everyone there having their own relationship with the pieces.”

It’s a catalog, we suggested, that kind of belongs to all of us now, part of our cultural DNA. “Yeah, the amazing thing is that, even little kids today all know this music. It’s not a nostalgia thing at all, like something that just happened long ago.”

But seriously, how does someone go into a studio — and especially someone like Frisell, who has devoted a considerable portion of his recorded career to reconstructing standards — and arrange a Beatles song?

“You know, it was with people that I’ve played with for years and years, so … there weren’t any arrangements. There

wasn’t even much talk about anything. I feel really good about that; we were using the language we use when we play anything. …

We weren’t trying to recreate what was there, but I didn’t re-harmonize or re-arrange anything.”

Frisell says that bringing this music to ON THE BILL: Bill Frisell Explores the Music of John Boulder will be Lennon plays the Boulder a little bit of a Theater on Saturday, June milestone for 23. Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets start at $20. 2032 14th St., him, squaring a Boulder, 303-786-7030. widely arced circle.

“Y’know, I grew up in Denver, and that’s where I heard all this music for the first time. So, there’s something super special about playing it in Colorado. Already I’ve gotten some messages from friends I went to school with about the show. It’s actually going to be kind of a heavy thing for me.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

CMF from Page 23

3, with a world premiere commissioned Act II of The Marriage of Figaro with the by the CMF and its patrons. somber Requiem. “Emotionally they go in “Magnificent Mozart” corresponds to two completely different directions,” previous mini-festivals dedicated to com- Christie says. “But [both are] pinnacles posers — Beethoven, Brahms — and of Mozart’s output.” genres such as violin concertos. Of Another high point of the CMF will course, Mozart is hardly lacking attencome June 28 and 29, when the tion, but the impetus for this year’s mini- “Rediscovered Masters” series presents a festival came from a composer who has short children’s opera, Brundibar by Hans been neglected: Antonio Salieri.

Krása, which was performed by the chilIf you only know Salieri from the dren of the Theresiendstadt concentrafilm Amadeus you are missing an accomtion camp throughout World War II. plished composer — and far from being Although Theresiendstadt was not a a villain, he was a friend of Mozart who death camp, Krása and many of the cast attended The Magic Flute as the compos- members who appeared in Brundibar er’s guest. CMF will explore history in were eventually sent to their deaths at “Mozart & Salieri” with F. Murray Auschwitz.

Abraham, known for his melodramatic A special guest at the performances portrayal of Salieri will be Ela Weissberger, in the film. a survivor of “I had been Theresienstadt who ON THE BILL: The working on the appeared in every perforColorado Music Festival kicks off Salieri project with mance of Brundibar in June 24 and runs until Aug. 3.

For tickets and more informaAbraham for a long the camp. She will speak tion, visit bit.ly/comusicfest. time,” CMF music about her experiences director Michael and appear at several Christie explains. community events orga“We finally got to a point where it was nized in support of the “Rediscovered ready to go, and the Mozart-Salieri proj- Masters” concerts. (For a listing of these ect coming to a conclusion seemed to events, see: http://comusic.org/concertssuggest a larger theme. events/summer-festival/799-2/.)

“I tried to pick music [for “Mozart & Sunday’s opening concert will feature Salieri”] that would show why Salieri was Christie with the CMF chamber orchesimportant at the time he was living. And tra and piano soloist Simone then I thought, well, I’m going to touch Dinnerstein. For the third year running, as many of the genres of Mozart as I the opening concert will include a possibly can [in the rest of the festival].

Beethoven piano concerto — this time And I think the concerts give a pretty the Second. wide-ranging view of Mozart.”

Acclaimed equally for her musicality Indeed. The most intriguing proand the way she promoted her career — gramming is undoubtedly the July 8 con- with a self-financed recording that cert that pairs the rapturous F inale from became a critical sensation — 24 June 21, 2012

Dinnerstein is making her first appearance in Boulder. Neither showy nor heroic in tone, Beethoven’s Second Piano Concerto is an unexpected choice for a debut and a festival opener, but it makes sense here: It is a direct descendent of Mozart’s concertos, three of which will be heard later in the festival.

“It’s one of my favorite concertos, actually,” Dinnerstein says. “It’s extremely pared down and like a very large chamber-music piece, with lots of interchange between the piano and different sections of the orchestra, especially the woodwinds, which is also characteristic of Mozart concertos.

“I just like the spirit in this piece — there’s something very innocent and open about it.”

The other major piece on the program will be Mendelssohn’s “Italian” Symphony, which Christie relates to the summer’s other major theme.

“I believe that the Rediscovered Masters narrative starts with Mendelssohn. It starts with Wagner’s suppression of his music and condemnation of Mendelssohn as a person. He was so revered when he was living, and he was crushed by Wagner, and later the Nazis. I see this as the seed from which a lot of this springs forth.

“And it’s such a great piece anyway.

It’s something we can put together without too much trouble, and it really kicks off the series within the festival as well.”

With an á la carte menu, you can pick your festival — Mozart, Rediscovered Masters, world music, chamber music.

Or you can enjoy the whole feast, every course, for six weeks.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

summerconcert series 2012 june 30 peter kater & r. carlos nakai

J une 30 July 7 July 14 July 16 July 21 Aug 4 Aug 11 Aug 15 Aug 30 Sept 3 Sept 7

Peter Kater & R. Carlos Nakai Jake Shimabukuro Aaron Neville Josh Ritter & The Royal City Band Lucinda Williams Hayes Carll w/Joe Pug

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Andrew Bird John Hiatt & The Combo

Rickie Lee Jones / Madeleine Peyroux Jerry Douglas Band

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Steve Earle and the Dukes (and Duchesses) featuring Allison Moorer

Aug 10 Aug 12 Aug 19 Aug 23

Los Lonely Boys with The Dunwells Pink Martini featuring China Forbes Asleep at the Wheel “Weird Al” Yankovic The Alpocalypse Tour

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Aug 29 John Hiatt & The Combo

Boulder Weekly

June 21, 2012 25

th e boe decke r th eate r June 23 - 12:00 & 3:00

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CINDERELLA & BRUNDIBÁR Witness two striking fairytales as the Colorado Music Festival presents Prokofiev’s lush and romantic ballet Cinderella and Hans Krása’s children’s opera Brundibár. Composed in 1938 and originally performed by the children of Theresienstadt concentration camp,the semi-staged opera features a children’s chorus and Ela Weissberger, a Holocaust survivor and one of the original cast members.

Thursday, June 28 & Friday, June 29 at Chautauqua in Boulder F o r t i c k e t s : w w w. C O m u s i c . o r g | 3 0 3 . 4 4 0 .7 6 6 6

26 June 21, 2012

Boulder Weekly

arts & culture Christopher Titus is a loser

courtesy of Christopher Titus

Christopher Titus

Comedian talks ex-show, ex-wife and ex-vice presidential candidate

by Sebastian Murdock

P

lenty of comics know that ments with network executragedy can make for some tives — who wanted the great comedy, but few have characters Titus and Erin to mastered it the way break up — and his big Christopher Titus has. After mouth. all, he’s got plenty of great material to “I told the network presiwork with: a dead, crazy mom; a dead, dent — and this sentence cost alcoholic dad; a dead marriage; and a me $30 million — ‘Do you dead television show, all which have even watch the show?’” he shaped him into one of the darkest com- says. “‘The whole premise of ics around. the show is two screwed-up Titus is perhaps best known for his people together that make a short-lived television series on Fox that great couple and can survive aired from 2000 to 2002. The show, anything. If I make them called Titus, was cheat on loosely based on the each comedian’s mentally other, ON THE BILL: Christopher and emotionally guess Titus will be performing at Comedy Works on Thursday, June traumatizing life, what happens next?

21, through Saturday, June 23. and garnered genuThe audience hates Tickets start at $19. 1226 15th St., ine laughs from them, they stop Denver, 303-595-3637. audience members being funny and the who were able to show’s over. So watch the show live, we’re not doing it.’” in one take.

The following day, the network “We started off filming each scene stopped all promotion of the show, he three times in a row, and finally I said, says.

‘Well how the fuck does that work?’”

Now, Titus is focused on his standup Titus says. “As a standup comic, I don’t comedy as he tours for the next 26 go on stage and do the same joke three weeks to perform his new act, “Scarred times, so I suggested we film it like a For Life.” Titus says the theme of his play.” new standup is being a loser.

Despite the show’s short run, it con“I’m the worst kind of loser because I sistently garnered critical praise and was actually succeed at things, then I take it Fox’s fifth-most watched comedy the one step further to total failure,” he says. year it was canceled. Titus attributes the “So I talk about all my loser stories.” show’s untimely cancellation to disagreeOne of those stories involves the

divorce between Titus and his ex-wife.

“My ex-wife was so crazy and so jealous, that if I said anything negative about her ever, she would flip out and my life was a nightmare,” he says. “If I wrote a scene on Titus where I had to kiss Cynthia Watros, or wrote a scene where I had to hug her, ’cause she’s my ‘girlfriend’ on the show, my whole weekend would be a fucking nightmare. My wife would say to me: ‘You’re just trying to fuck her, aren’t you?’ That was my whole life.”

Titus says he’s happy to be in a new, healthier relationship.

“I don’t think you realize what you’re worth until you find somebody that respects what you’re worth,” he says.

Recently, Titus was the center of some controversy after making a joke

Felonius Smith Trio

Blues Jams Every Tuesday & 2nd & 4th Sunday Jazz Jams Every 1st & 3rd Sunday PLAYERS WELCOME Boulder Weekly

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he made.

“I’m a comedian and it’s a joke,” he says. “So I apologized, but the reason I said this and the reason the audience laughed so hard is because we as Americans recognize that we have let our standards drop so low that we would actually consider Sarah Palin for president. You don’t give the stupid cheerleader the Uzi.” As he prepares to freshen up on his jokes for his next show, Titus says he’s content with how things have turned out for him.

“I want to make enough money to live, buy a cool car once in a while, and keep going on stage and being funny,” he says. “That’s really all I want to do.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

The Resonatorz

Fri June 22 8:00-10:30pm

Thurs June 21 7:30-10:00pm

Mojomama

about politician Sarah Palin. In June of last year on fellow comic Adam Carolla’s podcast, Titus made the joke that if Palin were elected president, he would “hang out on the grassy knoll all the time, just loaded and ready.”

Soon after, Bill O’Reilly of Fox News called out Titus for what O’Reilly perceived to be a legitimate threat to assassinate Palin.

“Bill O’Reilly said, ‘If he wants to come on this show and explain his actions, then come on,’ Titus says. “So I called my publicist and told him to get me on there.

When he called me back, he said that they were past the issue now. Bill O’Reilly is a pussy. He’s a bully pussy. He’s the worst kind of bully, because on top of it he won’t face you.”

Titus ended up giving a half-apology on Facebook, ultimately standing by the joke

Kilborn Alley Thurs June 28 7:30-10:00pm

June 21, 2012 27

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Boulder Weekly

panorama Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe Tribute to the Beastie Boys­ — With Kyle, OG & DELA from Slightly Stoopid. 8 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Thursday, June 21 music Bruce Hornsby and the Noisemakers­. 7:30 p.m.

Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-7867030.

Carmina Burana — With the Arvada Chorale and the Colorado Wind Ensemble. 7:30 p.m. Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities Amphitheater, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200.

Kick Gibbons. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Centersphere. 9 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Longest Day of the Year. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Dueling Pianos. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Paa Kows By All Means Band.

7 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut

Darryl Purpose Benefit concert for the Carousel of Happiness in Nederland. 7 p.m. Sunday, June 24, at the Fiske Planetarium, 2414 Regent Drive, Boulder, 303-258-3457.

Felonius Smith Trio. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303443-3322.

Ginga. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

SEE FULL PANORAMA LISTINGS ONLINE

Jockamo — Niwot Rock N Rails Concert Series. Whistle Stop Park, 1st & Murray, Niwot, www.niwotcolorado.com/events.

To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@boulderweekly.com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Matt Meighan. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Mosey West. Conor O’Neill’s. 10 p.m. 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Steve Manshel. 5:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Trio con Brio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Tuscadero and Silent Bear. 8 p.m. Shine, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

events Farm Dinner — With A Spice of Life Catering and Pieter Dijkstra. 6 p.m. The Lyons Farmette, 4121 Ute Highway, Lyons, 303-746-6266.

Glenn Miller SwingFest — Fundraiser for scholarships at the School for the Performing Arts in Fort Morgan.

Through Sunday, June 24. www.glennmillerswingfest. com.

Good Old Days in Downtown Lyons. High Street, Lyons, www.townoflyons.com.

La Raza de Colorado — Episode 1 on the history and heritage of Colorado Latino culture. 6:30 p.m. Boulder Public Library lawn, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303441-3100.

Morning Mingle — With Naturally Boulder. 7:45 a.m.

Alfalfa’s Community Room, 1651 Broadway St., Boulder, Ocean Frontiers Film Screening. 7 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4479772.

Smart Energy Kickball Game. 5:30 p.m. City Park Baseball Field, 3800 E. 23rd Ave., Denver, 720-4453728.

Spiritual Oversight of Natural Disasters. 7-9 p.m.

The Caritas Spiritist Center, 5723 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303 449-3066.

Thursday Night Bike to Farm Ride. 4:30 p.m. 1770 13th St., Boulder, RSVP with Awe-Struck Adventures, 303-807-6634.

Friday, June 22 music Brad Upton Quartet. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Delores Scott from Chicago — With Jack Hadley's band. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Evan Wheeler, Drew Schofield Band, Blind Rock, Trust No One. 5 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Indigent Row. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Boulder Weekly

St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Thumpin’. 8 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 303-834-9384.

The Resonatorz. 8 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

Signel-Z Vocal Edition. 8 p.m.

The Rib House, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-442-RIBS. Something Underground. 8 p.m. Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Bill Frisell Explores the Music of John Lennon — With Tony Scherr, Greg Leisz & Kenny Wolleson.

7 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303786-7030.

Sound Rabbitt. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Bill McKay Band. 7 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Sweet Wednesday ­— With The Bottlecap Boys. 8 p.m.

The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-4404628.

Cindy Brandle. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Wilco — With Punch Brothers. 8 p.m. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, 18300 West Alameda Parkway, Morrison, www.redrocksonline.com.

Eef & Blues Express. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303485-9400.

events

Jezzebel. 6 p.m. Cafe de Paris, 908 Main St., Louisville, 303-665-9761.

10th Anniversary StarHouse Kirtan. 7:30 p.m. StarHouse, 3472 Sunshine Canyon, Boulder, 303-544-0141.

Johnny O Band. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Artists’ Talk and Opening Reception for Chicano Matrixes, Entering the Dream: Create Your Art, Create Your Life, The Ghosts of Auschwitz-Birkenau. 4 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Mojomama. 8 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

Circle of Stars — “Feed me Seymour!” celebration of PHAMALY theatre company, featuring comedian Chris Fonseca. 7 p.m. History Colorado Center, 1200 Broadway, Denver, 303-575-0005.

Montana Skies — With KahnJaige. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Mozingo Paridiso. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Ricky and the Radios. 6:15 p.m. Twenty Ninth Street Mall, 29th Street & Canyon, Boulder.

Good Old Days in Downtown Lyons. High Street, Lyons, www.townoflyons.com.

Rob Rio. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Taste of History — Tour & Victorian tea. 5-7 p.m.

Historic Thompson Inn & Tea Room, 537 Terry St., Longmont, 303-776-3611.

Serenade In Blue. 4 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Village Arts Coalition International Festival — Square dancing with Scootbacks Square Dance Club.

6-8:30 p.m. Boulder County Courthouse, Pearl Street Mall, Boulder, 303-661-9603.

Saturday, June 23 music Bisquets n Gravy. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Silent Bear & Jyemo. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Rd., Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914 x313.

Springdale Quartet. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Tickle Mania, In Due Time, Hot Cheeze Soup, Color. 7 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

The Tyler Walker Band. 8 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 303-834-9384.

Wilco — With Dr. Dog. 8 p.m. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, 18300 West Alameda Parkway, Morrison, www. redrocksonline.com.

events 10th Anniversary StarHouse Kirtan. 7:30 p.m.

StarHouse, 3472 Sunshine Canyon, Boulder, 303-5440141.

Adobe Photoshop For Photographers Hands-On Intensive. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Boulder Farmers’ Market — 25th Anniversary Commemoration. 8 a.m. – 2 p.m. 13th Street between Arapahoe and Canyon, Boulder, www.boulderfarmers. org.

Famous Acro-Cats. 1 p.m., 4 p.m., 7 p.m. – Nomad Theatre, 1410 Quince Ave., Boulder, 303-440-4510.

Good Old Days in Downtown Lyons. High Street, Lyons, www.townoflyons.com.

Journeys Backyard Barbeque Tour — With X Games athletes. 12-7 p.m. Colorado Mills, 14500 W. Colfax Ave., Lakewood, www.journeysbbq.com.

Scandinavian Midsummer Festival — With Scandinavian music, dance, food, crafts, Viking re-enactors, Norwegian lundehunds and fjord horses, silent auction, raffle Icelandair airfare for two. 9:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. Bond Park, E. Elkhorn & MacGregor, Estes Park, 303-4499596.

Southwest Regional Folk Alliance Mini-Conference — For musicians, songwriters, presenters, DJs, agents, and others in the folk music community. 9 a.m. – 9 p.m.

First Congregational United Church of Christ, 1500 Ninth Ave., in Longmont, 303-973-3687.

Summer Open House at Colorado Horse Rescue. 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Colorado Horse Rescue, 10386 N. 65th St., Longmont, 720-494-1414.

Swing Dance — With local dance orchestras. Lessons at 7 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-449-5962.

June 21, 2012 29

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May 31 to June 24

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arts

Tony Ortega’s “Trabajando la Fresa”

Allegory — photos by S. Gayle Stevens. The Center for Fine Art Photography, Art Center of Fort Collins, 400 N. College Ave., 970-224-1010.

Through June 30.

Alternative Processes & The Child is the Father of the Man. The Center for Fine Art Photography, Art Center of Fort Collins, 400 N. College Ave., 970-224-1010.

Through June 23 and Aug. 4.

Second Place in 2012 Best of Boulder!

Chicano Matrixes — Tony Ortega, George Rivera, Sam Coronado. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4407826. Through July 27. Artists’ talk Friday, June 22, 4-5 p.m., opening reception 5-7 p.m.

THE GRAND COUNTY BLUES SOCIETY PRESENTS

Chief Niwot: Legend & Legacy. Boulder History Museum, 1206 Euclid Ave., Boulder,

To Market/To Market — Art market. 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Parking lot at 4710 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, www.2mrkt.com.

U.S. Capitalism in Crisis and Social Market Alternatives — With Bill Barclay. 10:30 a.m. George Reynolds Branch, Boulder Public Library, 3595 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303-449-0868.

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Yoga Rocks the Park — With Nancy Kate Williams.

9:30 a.m. Boulder Public Library lawn, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

The Ghosts of Auschwitz-Birkenau — Photos by Cole Thompson. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4407826. Through July 27. Artists’ talk Friday, June 22, 4-5 p.m., opening reception 5-7 p.m Got to Get It Out of My Head — Work by Bill Amundson. Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd. Arvada, 720-898-7200.

The Anxiety of Influence. University of Colorado Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through June 25.

“Brainwashed” in the News. Manifest ART Gallery, 108 2nd Ave., Niwot, 303-652-0952.

Through July 7.

Kevin Singleton, Richard Greening. NCAR Mesa Laboratory, 1850 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303-497-2408. Through Aug. 1.

Bluegrass Explosion!!!. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886.

Darryl Purpose — Benefit concert for the Carousel of Happiness in Nederland. 7 p.m. Fiske Planetarium, 2414 Regent Drive, Boulder, 303-258-3457.

Felonius Smith. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303485-9400.

Forest Kelly and The Bob Schlesinger Trio. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303665-2757.

Mike Lenssen Quintet. 7:30 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637R S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Sunday, June 24

Rocktin’ Grove. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

music

events

Awake to Dream — With Last October. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Affordable Homes Open House. 12-3 p.m. Boulder,

Tsoknyi Rinpoche will speak about his book Open Heart, Open Mind on Tuesday

words

SATURDAY JUNE 30 H SUNDAY JULY 1, 2012

Village Arts Coalition International Festival — Folk dance groups and public dance with music by DEBKA. 10:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. Boulder County Courthouse, Pearl Street Mall, Boulder, 303-661-9603.

303-449-3464. Through Nov. 25.

Thursday, June 21 Buried in the Sky — by Amanda Padoan. 7:30 p.m.

Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Kathleen Winter and Deborah Bogen — Poetry reading. 7 p.m.

Innisfree Poetry Bookstore, 1203 13th St., Ste. A, Boulder, 303579-1644.

Saturday, June 23

Soul Centered: Transform Your Life in Eight Weeks with Meditation — by Sarah McLean. 3 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

Monday, June 25

Killing Ghost — by Christopher Ransom. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Sip and Sign with “Homesweet, Homegrown” Authors. 5:30 p.m. Black Cat, 1964 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-5500.

“So, You’re a Poet.” 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Tuesday, June 26 Open Heart, Open Mind — by Tsoknyi Rinpoche, Eric Swanson. 7 p.m. Unity of Boulder Church, 2855 Folsom St., Boulder, 303-4472074.

Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore, 1203 13th St., Ste. A, Boulder, 303-579-1644.

Boulder Weekly

theater

panorama The creepiest family takes the stage at the Denver Center for Performing Arts

The Addams Family. Denver Center for the Performing Arts, Denver, 303893-4100. Through July 1.

Cinderella. Boulder’s Dinner Theater, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303449-6000. Through Sept. 1.

Fast, Loud, and Overplayed. Upstart Crow Theatre, The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303440-7826.

Footloose. Lakewood Cultural Center, 470 S. Allison Parkway, Lakewood,

303-987-7845. Through July 1.

Into the Woods. Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main St., Longmont, 303682-9980. Through July 8.

Legally Blonde. The Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200.

Through July 1.

Sweet Storm. Miners Alley Playhouse, 1224 Washington Ave., Golden, 303935-3044. Through July 8.

www.boulderaffordablehomes.com.

303-443-3322.

Barnyard Critter Day. 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Boulder County Agricultural Heritage Center, 8348 Highway 66, Between Lyons and Longmont, 303-776-8848.

Gasoline Lollipops. 9:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 S. Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Barrel-Aged Series Oud Floris Release. 4 p.m.

Avery Brewing Company, 5757 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-810-4201.

Famous Acro-Cats. 1 p.m., 4 p.m. — Nomad Theatre, 1410 Quince Ave., Boulder, 303-440-4510.

Good Old Days in Downtown Lyons. High Street, Lyons, www.townoflyons.com.

Lyons 5K River Run. 8 a.m. Lyons Visitor Center, 4th Avenue and Broadway, Lyons, 303-823-8250.

Live Ballet: RAYMONDA — Bolshoi. 9 a.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4479772.

Theatre Hikes Colorado — Performing Shakespeare’s As You Like It. 11 a.m. Chautauqua Picnic Shelter, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, www.theatre-hikes.org.

To Market/To Market — Art market. 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Parking lot at 4710 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, www.2mrkt. com.

Village Arts Coalition International Festival — Dance performances. 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Boulder County Courthouse, Pearl Street Mall, Boulder, 303-661-9603.

Monday, June 25 music Holden Young Trio. 10 p.m. Southern Sun, 627 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-0886.

Open Mic. 5 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Open Mic Night. 6:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

events Film on the Rocks — The Notebook, with The Dunwells. 7 p.m. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, 18300 W. Alameda Pkwy., Morrison, 720-865-2494.

Dinner with Chef Stephen Stryjewski of Cochon Restaurant, New Orleans. 7 p.m. The Kitchen Upstairs, 1039 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-544-5973.

Experiments in Art & Technology — Feat. artists Michael Theodore and Mark Amerika. 4 p.m. ATLAS Institute, 1125 18th St., Boulder, 303-735-4577.

Tuesday, June 26 music Bluegrass Pick. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Blues Jam Host: Gretchen Troop, Players Welcome.

7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel, 800 28th St., Boulder,

Boulder Weekly

Kort McCumber. 6 p.m. West End Tavern, 926 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-3535.

Open Stage. 7:15 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Quantum Jazz. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

$49 CONSULTATIO

Sean McGowan’s Jazz Guitar Night. 6:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Singer/Songwriter Open Stage. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Steel Pennies & Giddyup Kitty. 7:30 p.m., Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

events Folk Dancing on the Plaza! — Free participatory dance program, includes instruction, no experience needed. 7-10 p.m. Outside on the Boulder Municipal Plaza beside the Dushanbe Teahouse, 1770 13th St., Boulder, 303 499-6363.

Wednesday, June 27 music

28th Street

Scandinavian Midsummer Festival. 9:30 a.m. – 4 p.m. Bond Park, E. Elkhorn & MacGregor, Estes Park, 303-449-9596.

!

Ink Freethinker. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

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Angie Stevens. 6 p.m. Lakewood Heritage Center Visitor Center, 801 S. Yarrow St., Lakewood, 303-987-7845.

Avicii. 6:30 p.m. Red Rocks Amphitheatre, 18300 W. Alameda Pkwy., Morrison, 720-865-2494.

Bands on the Bricks — Hazel Miller Band. 6 p.m.

1300 block of Pearl Street, Boulder, 303-449-3774.

George Nelson Band. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Nelson Rangell. 7:30 p.m., Nissi’s Bistro, 2675 N. Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Marlo & Farm Jazz. 8 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Steven Vidaic — Album release. 8 p.m. Shine, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

Thurston Moore Band — With Hush Arbors­. 8 p.m.

Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-7867030.

events Capturing the Garden — Digital Photography Workshop with Susan Peirce. 5:30 p.m. The Lyons Farmette, 4121 Ute Highway, Lyons, 303-746-6266.

Famous Acro-Cats. 7 p.m. Nomad Theatre, 1410 Quince Ave., Boulder, 303-440-4510.

Lorna Doone — Chautauqua Silent Film Series. 7:30 p.m. Chautauqua Community House. 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

June 21, 2012 31

panorama Orientation to Family Child Care Workshop. 6-8:30 p.m. CYF Building, 2160 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-4411912.

KIDS CALENDAR Thursday, June 21 Earth, Air, Fire and Water — Story hour and kids’ hike. 1-2 p.m. Chautauqua Ranger Cottage, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, www.naturehikes.org.

LEGO Mania Days. 10 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Friday, June 22 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Game Day Friday. 10:30 a.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., 303-604-2424.

tion. 5:30 p.m. Chautauqua Green, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, naturehikes.org.

Saturday, June 23

Magician Week — Erica Sodos. 11 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Little Bikes on the Prairie — Family mountain bike trip. 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. Bobolink Trailhead, Baseline west of Cherryvale Road, Boulder, www.naturehikes.org.

Sunday, June 24 Bats over Boulder. 7-10 p.m. Night hike to Bear Pool, Boulder, 303-441-30.

Nature for Kids and Parents. 1-3 p.m. Flagstaff Nature Center, Flagstaff Mountain Summit, Boulder, www. naturehikes.org.

Monday, June 25 Meadow Music — Children’s music and nature educa-

This week at

boulderweekly.com

Tuesday, June 26 Dance Program for Kids. 6:15 p.m. Boulder Municipal Plaza, 1770 13th St., Boulder, 303-499-6363.

Magician Week — Eddie Goldstein, “The Magical Math & Science Show.” 7 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Wednesday, June 27 Art Stop. 4-8 p.m. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122.

TOP 10 STORIES

Week of June 14-June 20

1. Special folk 2. This is your brain. This is your brain at altitude 3. A town divided 4. Panorama (6/14) 5. Blue Colorado Even landlocked Colorado residents are connected to the ocean — but making people here more aware of how we’re connected to the watery 70 percent of our planet and what we can do to protect the ocean from here, on land, is the mission of Vicki Goldstein, founder of the Colorado Ocean Coalition.

6. Best of Boulder 2012 7. Confronting the past 8. Sea sick: Another virus crashes Canada’s salmon farms 9. Dining high 10. Can you be both Mormon and gay?

POLL Last Week How much of your plastic do you recycle?

• Everything but my bags, they go in the trash. 33% • All of it. I take bags to Eco-Cycle.

33% • I’ve eliminated plastic from my life. 0% • I don’t recycle, I live under a rock.

33% This Week Is it worth mining the moon for resources?

• Yes. We’re running out!

• No. We’ve already raped one orb.

• Maybe. How long ’til we’re out?

• But we already have enough cheese!

This Week Should at-will CU instructors be BOULDERGANIC given five-year contracts?

In new sum• Ythe es. Protect mer edition of academic Boulderganic, freedom! we kick things •off Nwith o. Keep them articles GMO legisl ation on their toes! addressing the latesttoon • Maybe fracking regulations GMOs and fracking, offering fodder to volley at your next political debate, or simply to consider as the time to visit the ballot box approaches.

But we wouldn’t want to leave you without some ideas for enjoying these sunny months. So we’ve included some fun and some food advice, including making better use of your lawn by tossing those weeds into a salad, getting outdoors to play in an eco-friendly way and nurturing our local creative projects.

SUMMER 2012

Bringing

self-suffici

ency

and susta

inability

How changes

home

in

in other state s coul Boulder Coun d affect ty Commissione rs search for swe et spot in The buzz on bees and bee kee

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Mother Nat

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32 June 21, 2012

ure

Boulder Weekly

Boulder Weekly

June 21, 2012 33

Colorado Adventure Center

adventure

Glenwood Canyon provides a unique setting for a summer job.

H

igh side! High side!”

Before I could react to the command, Dane Swanson and Cody Brown had jumped to my side of the raft, with Brown bellowing, “What are we doing here?” The clamoring was a reminder of the main tenet of disaster management on the water: If you’re not moving, you’re dying. Our turkey boat, guidespeak for a raft full of guides or guide trainees, was pinned against a huge rock dubbed by trainees this summer as Wrap Rock — a name earned for reasons that were becoming obvious. For Brown, Swanson and oarsman Gary Garlinghouse, the immediate

34 June 21, 2012

task was to push, pull and drag the boat off the rock and back into the current before rushing water pinned us down. For me, the immediate task was to keep from soiling myself, pick out a landing area well beyond my leaping capabilities and curse that I had actually paid attention to what cubic feet per second is, and was aware of the pressure that much water can exert.

After a few tense seconds the raft wrested free from the rock, as did the vision of myself buried alive under an avalanche of rubber and rushing water. It was a potentially risky situation with an outcome dependent on a variety of factors — none of which I had properly prepared

Boulder Weekly

adventure

THURSDAY, JUNE 21 Antarctica — by Damien Gildea. 8 p.m.

Neptune Mountaineering, 633 South Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-8866.

Solstice Ride — Hosted by Boulder B-Cycle. 5:32 p.m. B-Cycle stations, Boulder, info@boulderbcycle.com.

Sourdough Trail Ride — Intermediate/ advanced ride with Boulder Mountainbike Alliance. 5:15 p.m. Carpool from the Justice Center, 6th and Canyon, Boulder, www.bouldermountainbike.org.

FRIDAY, JUNE 22 Pastries on the Path — Community Cycles and Boulder Food Rescue provide pastries and coffee to bike commuters.

Boulder Creek Path at 17th Street, Boulder, www.communitycycles.org.

SATURDAY, JUNE 23 Group Ride — With Boulder Cycling Club. 9 a.m. Bicycle Village Boulder, 2100 28th St., Boulder, www.bicyclevillage.com.

HERA Climb4Life — Fundraiser for fighting ovarian cancer. 7 a.m. Boulder Rock Club, 2829 Mapleton Ave., Boulder, www. herafoundation.org.

Members Only Garage Sale. 9 a.m. REI Store, 1789 28th St., Boulder, 303-583-9970.

Pink Hammer 5K Fun Run. 8 a.m.

McIntosh Lake, 1757 Harvard St., Longmont, 303-682-2485.

SUNDAY, JUNE 24 Flagstaff Mountain:The Path Less Traveled. 9 a.m. Chautauqua Ranger Cottage, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, www. naturehikes.org.

Louisville Trail Race — Half marathon or 10K. 8 a.m. Community Park, 955 Bella Vista Dr., Louisville, www.louisvilletrailhalf.com.

TUESDAY, JUNE 26 Boulder Beer Road Ride. 5:30 p.m.

Boulder Beer, 2880 Wilderness Pl., Boulder, www.bouldercyclingclub.org.

Packing Light Clinic. 7 p.m. Changes in Latitude Travel Store, 2525 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-786-8406.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 27 Wednesday Fun Run. 6 p.m. Boulder Running Company, 2775 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-786-9255.

To list your event, send information to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. attn: “Adventure.”

myself for. I was left wondering, what I had gotten myself into, thinking I could survive a day of raft guide training?

And who would want to do this all summer?

We left Vail just before 7 a.m. for the hour ride to the No Name exit in Glenwood Canyon. Stunning vistas and curving turns threatened to lull me back to sleep until Swanson, raft guide trainee and the person I had secretly put in charge of resuscitating me if I ended up swallowing copious amounts of mountain runoff, murmured, “That’s where we’ll be rafting today … right down there.”

My eyes darted to the left, catching a glimpse of the Shoshone rapids, a Class 3 section of the Colorado River and arguably some of the wildest rafting terrain in the state right now due to the all-around low water flow. We would be facing rapids with names like Tombstone (where you can get buried if you’re not careful), Pinball (the raft is the ball, and the rocks are the bumpers) and Maneater (whoa, here she comes).

As we pulled up to Rock Gardens Rafting at the Glenwood Canyon Resort, Swanson grabbed his helmet and gear, pausing a second before bounding up to the boathouse to remind me of something.

“If anyone asks, just tell them you’re somewhat experienced,” he said.

My mind fervently extended that wayward canoe trip from Boy Scouts summer camp into being “somewhat” ready for what’s to come.

“Let’s go ahead and have him sign a liability waiver,” guide leader Jay Berkes said in lieu of a formal introduction.

The grizzled veteran — at 24 years of age — spit out the schedule for the day.

Raft trips depart at 9 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. Guides scurried about to stack the deceptively heavy rubber rafts on top of each other for the morning run, pick oars and paddles for each boat and tie down loose ends for the 10-minute drive to the launch. As someone with a laid-back attitude who was anticipating foamy rapids and bounding currents, I felt very fish-outof-water. Not knowing a trucker’s hitch from a slipknot, most of my effort involved using my noodle arms to carry rafts and trying to stay out of the way.

“There’s a lot of turnover in this industry,” Berkes said, seeming to sense that I understood the reality of the work necessary. I pictured many an aspiring summer adventurer intent on navigating whitewater hopping a bus back to civilization upon the realization that along with adventure goes low pay, hard work and shifting hours.

After a quick drive up the canyon, we unloaded under the watchful eye of a Colorado Department of Wildlife inspector. Inspectors can fine guides for violations as minute as not having all five PFD (personal flotation device) clasps fastened around a passenger’s beer gut. Then the turkey boat hit the water with me and three rookies.

Gobble, gobble.

River guides have plenty of their own jargon. Civilians pretty much disregard it, until it’s being yelled at them during a crisis. “High side” means whatever side of the boat is farthest from the water, which doesn’t make much sense until you find your raft

stuck on a rock. A hand should be on your T-grip at all times, meaning you hold onto the end of your paddle so as to not knock your teeth out when bumping into a rock. Your PFD is designed to allow guides to pull your dead weight out of a fast-moving current before you succumb to the flow of the rapids, which is measured in cubic feet per second (cfs).

Looking at a river, you might be able to suggest that it is moving fast or slow. But cfs gives insight into the volume of water on which a raft, or person, is moving downstream by measuring the rate at which a volume of water passes through a hypothetical 1’ x 1’ x 1’ box. Even at the historically low rates that the Colorado River is running this time of year — 1,100 cfs in early June — the discharge of water is roughly equivalent to about 8,200 gallons per second. The Colorado River District, Denver Water and the Bureau of Reclamation have recently added flows to the Colorado River through the Shoshone Outage Protocol, a pact to keep water at levels high enough to help prop up those businesses that rely on the river. But they can only do so much to keep the rivers flowing.

With the low water levels this summer, rocks that would go unnoticed during average discharge introduce themselves, forming walls, eddies and other current-altering mechanisms. It makes for an especially “bony” ride through the rapids. The hazards for unsuspecting or unprepared raft pilots can make the difference between enjoying and just surviving a ride.

The jutting obstacles not only provide tourists with the opportunity to confront more whitewater, but allow rookies learning the way of the water to hone the vigilance required to steer around such potential dangers. Bony years on the river also require an additional layer of customer service. see RAFTING Page 36

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RAFTING from Page 35

Summertime tourists don’t necessarily care how many cubes of water can flow downstream, but are looking for a little excitement on their vacation. Slow times during the ride — made so by changing terrain — are punctuated with off-color humor, plausible tall tales and history. You never know when that anecdote about Teddy Roosevelt killing his first grizzly bear in Glenwood Canyon might result in a little tip cash at the end of the run.

It seems the key to being a successful river guide lies in the balance between knowing you can navigate a boat to safety alone if need be and making sure your passengers get a hands-on experience and feel like they helped guide as well. Usually, that can be accomplished by some well-placed chants to “paddle forward.”

“Ready for a swim drill?” Swanson asked, nearly pushing me out of the boat with his suggestion. My mind was telling me “I don’t have to” as I felt my scrotum trying to find its way back inside my body. Plunging into the bracing waters, I couldn’t help but notice the smiles on the turkeys’ faces. After thrashing around for a minute, trying to hoist myself back into the raft, my arm strength sapped and my kick stroke failed. Humbled, I offered up my PFD straps so I could be hoisted back into the boat.

“So, do you have any more journalism questions for us?” rookie guide and fellow passenger Cody Brown asked while taking a bite from a Clif bar he had smuggled inside his PFD. Ashamed from thrashing about like a wounded seal, and my stomach beginning to growl its displeasure over skipping breakfast, I shook off the sarcasm and tried to think of ways to dry myself after my June polar bear plunge.

After all, he’s the crazy one. Rookie guides make virtually no money. The work is difficult and, at times, dangerous. There is the matter of dealing with the public, and, with that, a responsibility to keep that public safe at all times while giving them an unforgettable experience.

This isn’t some summer slack job.

It’s akin to being a bus driver, except potential potholes are usually buried by rushing water. It’s made to look easy, but underneath the veneer of a confident river captain often lies the uncertainty of having to make a decision with shifting variables.

So why not tend bar or work at a resort? Those who learn the trade seem to know those daily float trips are much more than a simple booze cruise.

Through work ethic, a love of the outdoors and thrill-seeking independence, rookie raft guides invest not only in

adventure their own well-being (you get in shape quick carrying those boats), but put a down payment on future summer employment for a skill that provides a lifetime of entertainment. Bottom line?

Rafting the open water is more exciting than the alternatives.

“It’s better than working the oil fields,” Garlinghouse said of his previous employer on the Western Slope.

Farther downstream, my eyes off the man-killer rocks and on a huge raptor riding canyon thermals, Swanson said, “Here, grab this oar for me.”

Before I could fully process the request, he shifted out of the oar frame and instructed me to sit in his stead.

By the time I grabbed the other oar, the realization that somehow I had found myself in charge of a river raft was tempered by the fear of all those potential dangers I had blithely ignored when casually pointed out to me previously.

It’s not at all like learning to drive.

Steering becomes more of a predictive measure than a causal result. You’re not just turning the wheel when you come to a crossroads; you are pushing and pulling the boat to position it for upcoming movements, planning to steer around obstacles still far ahead of you.

Attempting to use two oars to steer becomes akin to rubbing your belly while patting your head — that is to say it is mildly difficult to learn, and infinitely harder to master.

As I slowly learned the maneuvers and started gaining confidence, I let my fears subside and began to appreciate the artistic movement that goes into navigating a waterway. The best guides seem to barely touch the water with their oars, feathering their way down the river with a correct ferry angle — the subtle movements needed to keep a boat riding the currents and staying away from pitfalls. It took me five times the effort to keep a reasonable following distance from other boats in our party.

By four in the afternoon, my arms hung by my sides, my feet were an amalgam of skin, blood and sand, and my energy was tapped out. But before I knew it, we were eddying out back at No Name.

After all the work and worry, the most painful thing I had to deal with was the lobster-like reddish hue my forearms and thighs were beginning to display.

I summoned enough strength to lift a plate full of BBQ and a Dale’s Pale Ale to my lips, wondering if the life of a raft guide could be for me.

All that went through my mind was “leave it to the turkeys.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

adventure

EXPERT

BIKE REPAIR (ANY VINTAGE OR MAKE)

Climbing for a cure

Climb4Life supports cancer research

by Hadley Vandiver

T

his Saturday, many people will rock climb, hike and walk around in the beautiful Colorado sunshine. But some of them will do so in support of ovarian cancer research with the HERA Women’s Cancer Foundation’s Climb4Life Colorado.

Mary Jo Bode first began participating in Climb4Life five years ago, to Daniel Gambino support her close friend, Donna Sutton, as she battled ovarian cancer. At the time, Sutton had already undergone numerous surgeries for her cancer, and A participant was quickly in the 2011 losing Climb4Life strength.

“The climb was such an exciting time for Donna,” Bode says. “Seeing all those people coming together to do something for people with ovarian cancer, and seeing some of the survivors — their energy and their strength was really an inspiration.”

Though Sutton lost her fight with cancer two years ago, Bode continues to participate in Climb4Life Colorado every year. The event is hosted by the HERA Foundation, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to “stop the loss of women from ovarian cancer by promoting health, empowerment, research and awareness [HERA],” says Meg Stietz, executive director of HERA. The HERA Foundation, which is now celebrating its 10th year, hosts Climb4Life events in Boulder, Salt Lake City, Washington, D.C., and Boston. Climb4Life raises both money and awareness for HERA, which uses 88 percent of the money raised to support ovarian cancer research and awareness promoting nonprofit organizations. Last year, the Climb4Life events raised more than $100,000.

“I really think one of the most important parts of the event is the awareness that it brings for women,” Stietz says.

“The signs and symptoms of

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ovarian cancer are very vague, and they’re things that women experience all the time. The symptoms can be things like bloating, frequent urination, cramping, that sort of thing, and there is currently no early detection test for ovarian cancer.”

The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2012, around 22,280 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and about 15,500 women will die from the disease.

Because many of the symptoms are common problems for women, they often go unnoticed, Stietz says.

“Women just need to be their own advocates, in terms of knowing their own bodies and being able to say to a doctor, ‘You know, something’s not right,’” Stietz says.

Though Bode says she was “not much of a hiker” before she began Climb4Life, she now hikes every weekend with friends and always carries the teal ribbon that is the symbol for ovarian cancer.

“I think that fighting ovarian cancer really is climbing a mountain — it’s climbing a mountain every single day,” Bode says. “Its not like it’s just gone, the cancer continues to be something that the woman has to struggle with over and over.”

The original founder of the HERA Foundation, Sean Patrick, who lost her battle with ovarian cancer in 2009, had a similar view.

“She saw rock climbing as a metaphor for taking charge of one’s health in terms of decision-making, empowerment, taking care of yourself and as a way to promote women’s health,” Stietz says.

Climb4Life Colorado will be held this weekend, June 22-23, at various locations around Boulder. Visit www.herac4lco2011.kintera.org for more information.

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Boulder Weekly

reel to reel 17 GIRLS

miles away. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Landmark Theatres

Based on a 2008 headline-grabbing news story about an alleged pregnancy pact among 17 high school girls in the fishing town of Gloucester, Mass. — an act at once unexpected and incomprehensible to adults and For a list of local movie boys in their world. At Denver times, visit FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver boulderweekly.com/movieFilm Society times.html

THE INTOUCHABLES The Intouchables, by French writer/directors Olivier Nakache and Eric Toledano, is the inspiring true story of two men who should never have met — a quadriplegic aristocrat who was injured in a paragliding accident and a young man from the projects. At Mayan. — Landmark Theatres

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER

KUMARÉ

Apparently, before he became the president known for freeing slaves, Abraham Lincoln was a hunter of the undead — who kept slaves. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

THE AVENGERS 3D A team of superheroes including Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk and Thor unite to save the world. Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

— Los Angeles Times/MCT

Brave

This latest Disney animated film promises to try to undo what almost a century of preceding Disney princesses have done to the female psyche.

Kumaré is an enlightened guru from the East who builds a following of disciples in the West, but he is not real. He is an American filmmaker named Vikram Gandhi who has transformed himself as the centerpiece of a social experiment designed to explore and test one of the world’s most sacred taboos. What starts as a lark ends up changing lives in this playful yet genuine and insightful look at belief and spirituality. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theater

BEL AMI

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The historical drama based on the 1885 novel of the same name by Guy de Maupassant is the story of George Duroy (Robert Pattinson), who travels through 1890s Paris. From cockroach-ridden garrets to opulent salons, he uses his wits and powers of seduction to rise from poverty to wealth, from a prostitute’s embrace to passionate trysts with wealthy beauties. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society

With courtly grandeur, chivalric battles and a dream sequence, this classic is full of great dances set to an exotic score by Alexander Glazunov. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theater

BERNIE Filmmaker Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused, Before Sunset) returns to his Texas roots for this delightfully pokerfaced black comedy — based on a true story — about East Texas assistant funeral home director Bernie Tiede (Jack Black).

Everyone loved and appreciated Bernie, so it came as no surprise when he befriended Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine), an affluent widow who was as well known for her sour attitude as her fortune. Driven by her cruelty to put four bullets in her, Bernie goes to great lengths to keep up the illusion that she’s still alive. At Century and Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL A group of British retirees (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Maggie Smith) decide to “outsource” their retirement to less expensive and exotic India. Enticed by advertisements for the newly restored Marigold Hotel, they arrive to find the place a shell of its former self. At Century and Esquire. — Landmark Theatres BRAVE Brazenly red-headed Merida, princess, skilled archer and general nuisance at the royal dinner table, accidentally unleashes a curse on her kingdom. She then fights bravely — get it? — to defend her kingdom. Rated PG. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

THE BRIDE WORE BLACK In this Francois Truffaut thriller, Jeanne Moreau stars as a woman whose fiancé is nastily murdered by five men. Utilizing a series of disguises, the cool-customer Moreau tracks down all five culprits, sexually enslaves them, and then engineers their deaths. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society CAFE DE FLORE Inspired by the jazz album of the same name, Cafe de Flore chronicles a love story between a man and a woman in 2011 Montreal, and between a mother and her handicapped son in 1969 Paris. The film’s non-linear narration creates tiny snapshots of the lives of the main characters, making a mosaic of seemingly disconnected images and music. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax.

— Denver Film Society THE DICTATOR Sacha Baron Cohen is back with a character that sports a funny accent and antagonizes others. Shock! But unlike Borat, Admiral General Aladeen is neither revealing nor inherently hilarious. Rated PG-13. At Century. — The Reader of Omaha, Neb. ELENA This is a gripping, modern twist on the classic noir thriller. Both in second marriages, Vladimir and Elena uneasily share his palatial Moscow apartment. A sudden illness and an unexpected reunion threaten the dutiful housewife’s potential inheritance, and she must hatch a desperate plan. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theater A HAPPY EVENT Based on an autobiographical novel by phi-

Boulder Weekly

losopher Éliette Abécassis, A Happy Event stars Louise Bourgoin as Barbara, a student unprepared for pregnancy and parenting.

As she struggles to finish her Ph.D. thesis, she starts a passionate relationship with Nicolas (Pio Marmaï) and decides to have a child. The film chronicles her pregnancy and their relationship as the “happy event” brings them closer but also threatens to tear them apart. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society HIDE AWAY Directed by Chris Eyre, Hide Away follows the story of a successful businessman (Josh Lucas) attempting to resurrect his life. Entering an idyllic harbor as a broken and haunted man, he buys and boards the dilapidated sailboat Hesperus. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society HUNGER GAMES In the post-apocalyptic ruins of North America, a teenage girl competes in a nationally televised battle to the death against 23 of her peers. Rated PG-13. At Colony Square. — Los Angeles Times/MCT HYSTERIA A lighthearted romantic comedy that tells the surprising story of the birth of the electro-mechanical vibrator at the very peak of Victorian prudishness. At Esquire — Landmark Theatres I WISH Twelve-year-old Koichi lives with his mother and grandparents in a small town by a smoking volcano. His parents’ divorce has split the family, with his younger brother Ryu and their reckless rock musician dad living more than 100

LOST BOHEMIA For more than 100 years, artists and performers have lived and worked in the 165 studios atop Carnegie Hall, including Marilyn Monroe, Isadora Duncan, Barnett Newman, Norman Mailer, Marlon Brando, George Balanchine and Bill Cunningham. As the tenants were evicted to make room for renovations, Josef Birdman Astor began to film his vanishing neighbors, showing the power and frailty of this arts community. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theater MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE’S MOST WANTED 3D The quest continues as zoo animals struggle to return to New York. This time, the path from Africa to America swings through Europe and tags along with a traveling circus. Rated PG. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

MEN IN BLACK III Seeing Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones reprise their roles as Agent J and Agent K, two representatives from a clandestine organization that protects us from aliens, is nothing new. But the addition of Josh Brolin as a younger version of Agent K and a surprisingly fun screenplay is something entirely different for the franchise.

Let’s not call it good, but it’s light years from bad. Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — The Reader of Omaha, Neb. MONSIEUR LAZHAR Bachir Lazhar (Mohamed Fellag) plays the title character in Monsieur Lazhar, a film see MOVIE REVIEWS Page 41

June 21, 2012 39

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T

hat’s My Boy isn’t just so bad that you would rather play a fun game of “scratch my retina with chicken wire” for 90 minutes, it’s so bad that writer David Caspe and director Sean Anders should be legally prosecuted for crimes against humanity. If this is what we’re capable of as creatures living in a (relatively) free society who have evolved to the point where we are afforded the luxury of creative expression, then we deserve the inevitable zombie apocalypse or thermonuclear war that’s coming. You hear that, divine creator?

Rapture us! We’re done here!

In a movie that jokes about childhood sexual assault, incest, racism and inappropriate encounters with grandmothers, the most offensive thing is Adam Sandler. Wearing what seems to be a coward’s attempt at a mullet, Sandler does a bad impression of a guy doing a bad impression of Mark Wahlberg. He plays Donny, who became hugely popular in 1984 because he procreated with a teacher when he was just a young teen. Because sexual assault is hilarious as long as the teacher has big hooters.

The seed of Donny and his molester, his son Todd (Andy Samberg), distanced himself from his layabout father and became a hedge fund manager about to marry a beautiful, depraved woman named Jamie (Leighton Meester). Donny is going to go to jail for tax evasion unless he can pay off $43,000 by Tuesday, because that’s how the IRS works, so he decides to find his long-lost son. This is part of a plan to get Todd to agree to a lucrative TV special featuring a three-way reunion with his mother and Donny. Along the way, Milo Ventimiglia, James Caan and various others debase themselves in ways for which they shouldn’t be forgiven.

Inexplicably, the film is populated with cameos from the sports world, including New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan, radio host Dan Patrick and ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews.

Because what you want to do when making a movie is find the maximum number of people who can’t act and give them prominent roles, which explains why Tony Orlando, Vanilla Ice and Todd Bridges are also present. Despite this, That’s My Boy isn’t even entertaining in the same way as a “shock act” at a carnival. This is more like the sheer inhumanity of watching a YouTube video of homeless people fighting.

Comedy should have no boundaries save one: be funny. It’s OK to be politically incorrect about race if the punchline is either revelatory and insightful or hilarious. Having a character say, and this is the edited version, “These people are effing lucky to be in our effing country, so treat them however you effing want” and then cutting to a shot of two Asian servants looking sad is whatever the opposite of funny is. Genocide maybe? Is genocide the opposite of comedy? Then this is cinematic genocide.

This is without mentioning the “twist” that occurs in the third act, a moment that forever establishes Sandler and his crew as having lost touch with what it means to be human. That’s My Boy is the worst movie in memory, worse even than Dark Shadows, a feat which took some serious doing. Please, don’t even see it as a curiosity, for fear of encouraging the humorless, simple-minded, depraved sons of bitches who made it.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com —This review first appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Neb. Boulder Weekly

MOVIE REVIEWS from Page 39

reel to reel “

ACCESS HOLLYWOOD

that deals with grief in a way that feels surprisingly upbeat. As an Algerian immigrant who inherits a classroom of children whose last teacher killed herself while on the clock, Lazhar works through his own personal loss while helping them come to grips with theirs. At Boedecker.

— The Reader of Omaha, Neb.

out to the likely source of the alien life, and chaos ensues. All the stars aligned for Ridley Scott’s first science fiction film since the 1982 classic Blade Runner to be a great film, but Prometheus is nothing but a black hole of undeveloped characters and gaping plot gaffes. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

MOONRISE KINGDOM

ROCK OF AGES

Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, director/ co-writer Wes Anderson’s comic romance/drama tells the story of two 12-year-olds, Sam (Jared Gilman) and Suzy (Kara Hayward), who fall in love, make a secret pact and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore. At Century and Mayan.

— Landmark Theatres

Tom Cruise is the most notable name among a cast that includes Catherine Zeta-Jones and Alec Baldwin singing essentially karaoke versions of hair-metal songs. Based on the Broadway hit, the film takes itself a “hair” too seriously, which is an unforgivable way to present the 1980s.

Still, if nostalgia is your thing and/or Poison is your band, have a good time because it doesn’t get better than this.

Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — The Reader of Omaha, Neb.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE In her rambunctious new comedy, longtime festival favorite Anne Fontaine explores the unexpected routes taken when a stale marriage requires a little spicing up. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax.

— Denver Film Society NUIT #1 Anne Emond’s debut feature is a bold, intimate and erotic study of a one-night stand. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society.

OTTER 501 As an abandoned otter pup is rescued and returned to the wild, we get to tag along with a young marine biologist in learning about the plight of sea otters, the ocean ecosystem and the efforts to save this species from the brink of extinction. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theatres PEACE, LOVE & MISUNDERSTANDING Jane Fonda makes a triumphant return to the screen in this comedy about reunion and second chances. Catherine Keener stars as Diane, a conservative New York City lawyer who is in desperate need of an escape after her husband asks for a divorce. Along with her two children (Elizabeth Olsen and Nat Wolff), she takes refuge at her estranged hippie mother Grace’s (Fonda) farmhouse. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax and Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres POLISSE The daily grind for the police officers of the Child Protection Unit — taking in child molesters, busting underage pickpockets and chewing over relationship issues at lunch; interrogating abusive parents, taking statements from children and confronting the excesses of teen sexuality; enjoying solidarity with colleagues and laughing uncontrollably at the most unthinkable moments. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax — Denver Film Society

REALLY FUNNY!” STEVE CARELL

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRE LOCATIONS & SHOWTIMES MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes – Text SEEKING with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549). Msg & data rates may apply. Text HELP for info/STOP to cancel.

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BOULDER WEEKLY

Presented in conjunction with the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. In what might be the first Yiddish “mumblecore” film, a bitterly lapsed Jew in graduate school undertakes a Yiddish translation of Shakespeare’s great classic while her houseguest, a Hasidic dropout, is “leaking” Kabbalistic magic. At Boedecker. — Boedecker Theater

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SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED Do you need to know more than that this film was created by the producers of Little Miss Sunshine? No. But OK. Three jaded magazine employees set out on a quest to get the story behind a bizarre classified ad. They’ll be funny, and they’ll be a little bit sad. Rated R. At Century.

SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD Steve Carell and Keira Knightley in an apocalypse film that tries to haul some of the trappings of a rom-com through the not-zombie-related end of humanity.

Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN When Snow White (Kristen Stewart) escapes imprisonment by the wicked queen (Charlize Theron), she is chased down by the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth), which turns out to be a pretty good thing. Featuring most of the same characters and general plot points as the beloved classic story, this retelling slaps a coat of gritty seriousness on the whole affair, resulting in a visually thrilling if overly simple experience. Rated PG-13.

At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — The Reader of Omaha, Neb. THAT’S MY BOY See full review page 40. Rated R. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

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C

cuisine

ould sliders be the perfect bar food?

Perfect is a strong word, but sliders have a solid argument backing them up. Versatility, affordability and convenience all can be used to describe them and are reasons for their popularity in Boulder.

Bars and happy hour deals are everywhere.

Affordability is what happy hour is centered on, and sliders have evolved from a simple burger and patty to whatThe West End’s fried chicken and ever a chef can fit between waffles slider the two mini-buns. They have the capability to be a part of any menu, and it’s no surprise they’ve found homes in a variety of restaurants around Boulder.

Popularly known as a sushi restaurant, Hapa’s starter menu includes Hapa Hawaiian sliders: four mini Kalua pork sliders on Hawaiian sweet rolls. changing restaurant scene has develThey were added to the menu oped the original five-cent burger into because they literally help Hapa live up almost anything that can fit between to its name and restaurant theme. two mini-buns. In fact, today even the “Hapa means a mix of cultures, buns are optional.

Japanese and Hawaiian,” says Assistant The West End Tavern is consistentGeneral Manager Sean Guffey, “so it’s ly reinventing the slider based on what part of what we’re looking to promote.” is fresh in the kitchen. Every day the Guffey attributes the slider’s popuselection is different, and their chefs larity to the traditional Hawaiian style aren’t afraid to get creative. A brisket of cooking in which they are prepared. and Gouda cheese slider can be on the Whole pork butts are slow-roasted for menu one day, and if the time is right, a eight hours in banana leaves, a little bit crab cake or blackened catfish slider can of soy sauce and a few other ingredients show up the next. that Guffey wouldn’t disclose because There is one slider that shows up they are part of Hapa’s secret recipe. consistently every week on the West Traditionally, sliders are known as End Tavern’s menu. A take on their mini-burgers first introduced by the fried chicken and waffles dinner, the White Castle chain, which wanted to fried chicken and waffles slider appears sell a low-cost burger. Today, the everevery Tuesday as a blue plate special

Slide on down

Tiny burgers have a major presence in Boulder

by Don Tartaglione

42 June 21, 2012

and is available anytime before 3 p.m.

Tempura-battered and fried chicken rests between two half-waffles and comes with white chicken gravy and jalapeno cherry jam. The dish is an example of how far a chef can take the concept of a slider.

Sliders can be found in a variety of different restaurants, showing they’ve not only grown beyond the mini beef patty and buns, but the type of menu they can be a part of.

Nick Swanson, chef de cuisine at PastaVino, says the concept of experimentation with sliders is a fun and low-risk venture for chefs.

“You’re not risking a whole lot because they are just small,” Swanson

tidbites

Food happenings around town

Don Tartaglione

KEEP AN EYE ON THESE THREE

Three food companies with ties to Boulder County were honored recently as 2012 Colorado Companies to Watch by ColoradoBiz magazine.

Boulder Ice Cream, Rocky Mountain Popcorn Company and 34 Degrees were recognized as “on-the-grow” organizations based on indicators like product innovation, community enrichment and job creation.

Boulder Ice Cream has branched out from its beginnings 20 years ago to distribute its 14 flavors of premium, all-natural ice cream to grocery stores and restaurants in nine states.

Rocky Mountain Popcorn Company has been around even longer, setting down roots in the eastern foothills more than 25 years ago. Now run by Tim and Karen Bradley, the company’s certified nonGMO, gluten-free popcorn is available nationwide.

And 34 Degrees, owned

by Craig Lieberman, makes a

see TIDBITES Page 44

see SLIDERS Page 44

Boulder Weekly

Susan France

Thai Avenue Rice & Noodles 1310 College Ave., #220 Boulder, 303-443-1737

T

hai Avenue Rice and Noodles presents a textbook case of truth in advertising.

First of all, it serves Thai food, notably rice and noodles. Secondly, it’s located on Boulder’s College Avenue. This straightforward naming scheme carries over to the nofrills experience that conceals a topnotch Southeast Asian experience.

The ambience here leans towards the utilitarian, given its Uni Hill location in a basement food court. Service is simple ordering at the counter. But what it lacks in some categories it makes up for in affordability, as well as quantity and quality. For instance, there’s a $7.95 lunch special consisting of a fountain drink, a spring roll or wonton, and an entree.

The no-MSG menu serves entrees like fried rice selections and stir-fries with a Thai flair, available with a choice of proteins, ranging from tofu to shrimp.

Curries are amply represented, with a selection that includes everything from coconut milk and lemongrass-infused Tom Kha to chile-rich Panang. Noodle plates include wide drunken noodles as well as Pad Sie Eiw, or street-style strands, prepared with egg and veggies.

Boulder Weekly

To wash everything down, colleague Carin and I started off with voluminous cups of $2 Thai iced tea.

As with most versions, this wasn’t a beverage for those who shy away from sweetness. But it also had the haunting floral quality, stemming from such spices as cardamom and star anise, that I seek in this drink to complement the sweet creaminess.

Next up was a $4 bowl of Tom Yum Koong soup, scented with lime and chile. Not too spicy, nor as complex as its coconut milk-laced cousins, it was flavorful, but not so strong that it overshadowed the shrimp. A bevy of mushrooms contributed weight and added an earthy note in a sea of tanginess.

“You can really taste the basil,” Carin said of her fried tofu-dotted $6.65 red curry. Unlike other examples, the fresh flavor of the herb subtly perfumed the low-key heat of this medium-spice-level selection. Thai cooking is a multifold balancing act combining elements of sweet and spicy, and this choice, accompanied by perfectly steamed rice, stood out as a shining example. Bits of red and green bell pepper further enhanced our fresh impression of this dish. Carin was

Hold the rice

T

here’s a lot to dislike regarding Luang Pibulsonggram, who twice served as Thailand’s prime minister beginning in the 1930s. Granted, he did much to bring change to Thailand, including discarding that nation’s erstwhile name of Siam. But he

Clay’s Obscurity Corner wasn’t shy about embracing fascism, and his initial instinct was to side with Japan at the start of World War II. He also encouraged economic nationalism, and as part of this drive, wanted Thailand to

also struck by the “huge portions” that left her with enough to take home.

Wearing my traditionalist’s cap, I opted for the $6.65 chicken Pad Thai, one of my favorite dishes. Like Carin, I ordered this at the medium spice level, and I’d likely go for “hot” or, if I’m feeling particularly ambitious, “Thai hot” the next go-round. But a more modest level of heat might have been advantageous, as it enabled me to better appreciate the bite of the tamarind sauce and the zesty lime highlights. Equally

have more rice available for export.

Therefore, he encouraged people to eat Pad Thai, as consuming rice noodles versus straight-up grain made more rice available to sell.

important was the fact that the rice noodles had the proper amount of give, and a sheen of richness from the egg. I also noticed Carin poaching bites from my plate when she thought I wasn’t looking.

Despite Thai Avenue’s humble appearance, quick service setup and rockbottom prices, it unquestionably stands as one of Boulder’s top choices for Thai. I’ve certainly paid more for less at other eateries, and I suspect this food court standout may become my Thai go-to spot.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

June 21, 2012 43

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tidbites

HEAVENLY GYROS AT

Food happenings around town TIDBITES from Page 42

thin and savory cracker destined for favorite cheeses or fine by itself. In less than a decade, 34 Degrees has grown to offer nine flavors of its all-natural cracker products, including Sesame, Caramel and Cinnamon Graham.

The awards were presented at a recent reception at the Governor’s Mansion in Denver.

SLOPES OF SWEETNESS

Like skiers following an early season dusting, chocolate lovers will converge on Winter Park on Saturday, June 23, to make runs through their favorite confections during the Winter Park Chocolate Festival.

Attendees at the free event will be able to indulge their sweet teeth from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. In addition to samples, there will be a pudding eating contest, a beer and chocolate pairing and a “Chocolate Crown” awarded to the person who can eat the most Hershey Kisses in one minute.

Live music will be provided by Katey Laurel, and non-chocolate food and beverages will be available for purchase. See www.winterpark.chocolate-festival.org.

GEAUX UPSTAIRS FOR CAJUN FARE

The Kitchen Upstairs welcomes Chef Stephen Stryjewski of New Orleans’ Cochon restaurant on Monday, June 25, for a special event to benefit Chef’s Collaborative, a national chef network searching to reshape the sustainable food landscape.

By sharing stories of the Gulf, imparting his philosophy on Cajun cooking and using the finest ingredients, Stryjewski will take diners on a journey through the bayou during a family-style feast. Dinner with the James Beard Award winner begins at 7 p.m. and is $125.

Call The Kitchen Upstairs for reservations at 303-544-5973.

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44 June 21, 2012

SLIDERS from Page 42

says, “so if something doesn’t come out the way you want, well, give it to the staff and move on.”

A slider can help draw in the lunch and happy hour crowd, and Swanson says one possibility is a twist on a classic carbonara.

“Take your beef burger, switch it into a lamb slider, do a fried egg with a crispy piece of prosciutto and maybe some Gorgonzola cheese,” says Swanson. “So it’s kind of a play on a carbonara. Things like that to incorporate the whole Italian concept.”

Swanson says a growing trend among Italian restaurants, and something he’s seen firsthand in New York City, is the growth of the meatball slider.

“It ran rampant amongst a bunch of the trendier restaurants; you don’t get them in the three or four-star New York Times restaurants, but definitely you get them in the trendier gastro-pubs and things like that.”

The Absinthe House’s menu is dominated by a variety of sliders. Even though only one chef can fit in the kitchen, the mixing and matching of a few staple ingredients allow there to be a lot of creativity in a small space.

Sean Konczewski, head chef of the Absinthe House, says sliders’ popularity is due not only to the trendy nature of the dish, but how well their price fits the happy hour menu.

“They’re trendy, not a meal, but they’re filling,” Konczewski says. “If you’ve had a long day of drinking, it’s exactly what you need.”

Offering everything on a slider from the classic burger to roast beef and pulled pork, Konczewski can have as much fun making the sliders as do the customers, who are encouraged to design their own.

“Having variety is beautiful because you take a bun and just add on to it,” says Konczewski.

Sliders have come a long way from their beginnings as a low-priced White Castle burger. The amount of experimentation allows them to appear on a variety of menus prepared in different ways.

Whether they’re perfect is up for debate. Maybe there’s no such thing as a perfect slider. But with the amount of versatility they have, the only thing that’s for sure is they’ll continue to disappear from people’s plates.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

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June 21, 2012 45

appetizers Synopses of recent restaurant reviews.

To read reviews in their entirety, visit www.boulderweekly.com.

The West End Tavern 926 Pearl St., Boulder 303-444-3535

I

t’s easy to associate the West End Tavern with bar staples like chicken wings and beer, which are in fact available. But this association doesn’t acknowledge this eatery’s considerable acumen in replicating American cookout standards. Back-to-basics choices like the Tavern burger, with its unpretentious pairing of Colorado’s Best Beef meat and aged cheddar, illustrate how the simple can create great satisfaction. Barbecued items from the smoker, such as pulled pork, beef brisket and ribs, are also worthwhile selections evoking summer tastes.

Lyons Fork

450 Main St., Lyons 303-823-501

L

yons Fork provides a top-notch weekend brunch experience. Hospitable service, a bright and comfortable family-friendly ambience, and skillfully prepared fare make for a low-key but quality meal. Top choices include the Haystack goat cheese and zucchini fritters with a spunky aioli, and the hefty French toast, garnished with toasted almonds, sour cream and a pleasantly complex apple compote.

e by the glass l b a l i a Over 24 wines av elect martinis S • t f Craft beers on dra unch 10-2pm r B y a Now Open For Sund “Wine without pretense” BRUNCH! Bloody Mary bar, mimosas, Bellini’s, and brunch food specials

Wine, beer, port and grappa flights Occasional live music Casual, yet elegant atmosphere Outdoor patio

A

dhering to the ’50s eatery theme, the StarLite Diner and Lounge features burgers, sandwiches and pizza, as well as breakfast faves like French toast and Denver omelets. There’s also an assortment of ice cream treats, including milkshakes and hot fudge sundaes. New York pizza adherents will enjoy the thincrusted pies, and burger fans will appreciate the reasonably priced grass-fed offering.

Udon Kaisha

191 W. South Boulder Road, Lafayette 303-665-1713

H

idden in a Lafayette strip mall, Udon Kaisha offers Japanese noodles and sushi of high quality at exceptional prices. Noodle items include thick udon, as well as more svelte ramen, available in a variety of broths. Sushi selections are simple, eschewing such exotica as sea urchin roe in favor of crowd-pleasing staples like salmon and tuna. Can’t-miss selections include the $5 yellowtail and scallion sushi roll, as well as the shoyu (soy sauce) broth udon noodles.

South Mouth Memphis Hot Wings 1650 Broadway, Suite A Boulder 303-449-9464

oulder’s new South Mouth Memphis Hot Wings offers its namesake poultry appendages with a choice of 10 specific sauce varieties. Prices range from $6.95 for five party wings to $72.95 for 16 pounds of Memphis wings, which are trimmed differently from the party variety. Besides the classic hot wings, other endearingly fiery choices include the Asian-influenced sriracha and the fruit-and-fire combination of the mango habanero.

Comida Cantina

721 Confidence Dr., Longmont 720-204-6455

L

ongmont’s Comida Cantina, the bricks-and-mortar spinoff of its namesake Mexican food truck, is a vibrant destination for South of the Border street food. Diners can choose from a number of gorditas, tostadas and tacos served in the traditional street style. Top choices include the pork, slowcooked in Stella Artois beer; toothsome arrachera, a take on carne asada; and the hefty chorizo gordita.

The Louisville Rex 817 Main St., Louisville 303-666-6224

O

ne of the main attractions of The Louisville Rex is its expansive yet comfortable rooftop deck. This spot is reminiscent of a warm-weather resort spot and makes for either a fine staycation venue or just a place to knock back a few with friends after work. The bar food classics are another strong suit, and these include Buffalo chicken wings and a decidedly guilty pleasure, fried pickles.

Moe’s Original Bar B Que 675 30th St., Boulder 303-440-4BBQ

L

ocated a stone’s throw from Williams Village, Moe’s Original Bar B Que is the Boulder outpost of a ‘cue operation that originated in Alabama. It spotlights sandwiches and platters featuring such classic choices as brisket, pulled pork, hot links and fried catfish. One of the top choices is a platter of falling-off-the-bone ribs with bright fried green tomatoes and creamy banana pudding to finish.

Royal Clay Oven

5290 Arapahoe Road, Unit B, Boulder 303-444-1626

L

ocated in East Boulder on Arapahoe, the Royal Clay Oven dishes out a reasonably priced lunch buffet with an

Tortugas

218 Coffman St. Longmont 303-772-6954

C

ombining a hospitable, homey, Key West feel with a menu of fresh seafood prepared in the manner of the Caribbean, Mexico and New Orleans, Longmont’s Tortugas is an easy winner. Noteworthy dishes include the Creole BBQ shrimp appetizer wrapped in bacon, and the bright-tasting shrimp Mojo, with a Cuban citrus, garlic and olive oil sauce. Chocolate bourbon bread pudding is an exquisite dessert, among the best endings available locally.

SALT Bistro 1047 Pearl St. Boulder 303-444-SALT

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1750 29th St., Suite 1064, Boulder 303-443-1559

46 June 21, 2012

Seasonal sangria, infusions, grappas, ports & house-made limoncello

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StarLite Diner and Lounge

B

Mediterranean-inspired small plates menu with weekly specials

emphasis on freshness and service. The limemarinated tandoori chicken has a lively citrus undertone, and vindi masala, spiced okra, has a pleasant crisp-tender consistency. The staff constantly replenishes such items as the hearty potato-filled samosa, ensuring that diners enjoy fare fresh from the oven.

D

owntown Boulder’s SALT Bistro, one of the newest entrants in the affordable midday meal sweepstakes, now serves a “farm-totable” lunch for $9. Favored choices include the Reuben, made with pork belly instead of corned beef.

The meatless eater will favor the quinoa and chickpea fritters. Preferred sides include the tomato soup garnished with a tiny grilled cheese wedge and the beet or apple salads, for $2 more.

Jai Ho Indian Kitchen, Bar and Lounge 1915 28th St., Boulder 303-444-5151

J

ai Ho, the Boulder spinoff of a popular Aurora restaurant, offers an intriguing blend of Northern and Southern Indian food, ranging from street-style eats to the ubiquitous lunchtime buffet. The buffet offers a fine opportunity to appreciate the skilled spicing of such dishes as the creamy chicken Tikka Masala and its fiery chile-based relation, Vindaloo. The dosa, a crisp, cylindrical crepe, is also a winner, featuring hefty veggie stuffing and subtle sourdough tang.

Zucca Italian Ristorante 808 Main St. Louisville 303-666-6499

L

ocated smack dab in the middle of downtown Louisville, Zucca Italian Ristorante boasts an inviting ambience balancing the rustic with a subtle but unmistakable European flair. The same can also be said of the menu, which ranges from old standbys like comforting spaghetti and meatballs to more elevated selections like seafood cannelloni and rack of lamb.

Can’t-miss items include the fried calamari starter, garnished with pickled peppers and fresh tomato, and the arugula salad, a combination of greens, gorgonzola and apple.

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June 21, 2012 47

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astrology ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19:

in the World: our refusal to control the pictures and thoughts that pop into our minds. For example, I can personally testify that when a fearful image worms its way into the space behind my eyes, I sometimes let it stimulate a surge of negative emotions rather than just banish it or question whether it’s true.

I’m calling this is to your attention, Libra, because in the weeks ahead you’ll have more power than usual to modulate your stream of consciousness. Have you ever seen the bumper sticker that says, “Don’t believe everything you think”?

Make that your mantra.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Swans, geese, and ducks molt all their flight feathers at once, which means they may be unable to fly for several weeks afterwards. We humans don’t do anything like that in a literal way, but we have a psychological analog: times when we shed outworn selfimages. I suspect you’re coming up on such a transition, Aries. While you’re going through it, you may want to lie low. Anything resembling flight — launching new ventures, making big decisions, embarking on great adventures — should probably be postponed until the metamorphosis is complete and your feathers grow back.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20:

In 2011 car traffic began flowing across Jiaozhou Bay Bridge, a newly completed span that joins the city of Qingdao with the Huangdao District in China. This prodigious feat of engineering is 26.4 miles long. I nominate it to serve as your prime metaphor in the coming weeks.

Picture it whenever you need a boost as you work to connect previously unlinked elements in your life. It may help inspire you to master the gritty details that’ll lead to your own monumental accomplishment.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20:

An apple starts growing on its tree in the spring. By early summer, it may be full size and as red as it will ever be. To the naked eye, it appears ready to eat. But it’s not. If you pluck it and bite into it, the taste probably won’t appeal to you. If you pluck it and hope it will be more delicious in a few weeks, you’ll be disappointed. So here’s the moral of the story, Gemini: For an apple to achieve its potential, it has to stay on the tree until nature has finished ripening it. Keep that lesson in mind as you deal with the urge to harvest something before it has reached its prime.

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22:

“Dear Rob: In one of your recent horoscopes, you implied that I should consider the possibility of asking for more than I’ve ever asked for before. You didn’t actually use those words, but I’m pretty sure that’s what you meant. Anyway, I want to thank you! It helped me start working up the courage to burst out of my protective and imprisoning little shell.

Today I gave myself permission to learn the unknowable, figure out the inscrutable, and dream the inconceivable. Crazy Crab.” Dear Crazy: You’re leading the way for your fellow Cancerians. The process you just described is exactly what I advise them to try in the coming weeks.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22:

Picture yourself moving toward a building you haven’t seen before. Trust the initial image that leaps into your imagination. What type of path are you on? Concrete or dirt or brick or wood? Is it a long, winding way or short and direct?

Once you arrive at the front door, locate the key. Is it under a mat or in your pocket or somewhere else? What does the key look like? Next, open the door and go inside to explore.

Where have you arrived? See everything in detail. This is a test that has no right or wrong answers, Leo — similar to what your life is actually bringing you right now. The building you’ve envisioned represents the next phase of your destiny. The path symbolizes how you get here. The key is the capacity or knowledge you will need.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22:

My first poetry teacher suggested that it was my job as a poet to learn the names of things in the natural world. She said I should be able to identify at least 25 species of trees, 25 flowers, 25 herbs, 25 birds, and eight clouds. I have unfortunately fallen short in living up to that very modest goal, and I’ve always felt guilty about it. But it’s never too late to begin, right? In the coming weeks, I vow to correct for my dereliction of duty. I urge you to follow my lead, Virgo. Is there any soul work that you have been neglecting?

Is there any part of your life’s mission that you have skipped over? Now would be an excellent time to catch up.

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SCORPIO

OCT. 23-NOV. 21:

In the hands of a skilled practitioner, astrology can help you determine the most favorable days to start a new project or heat up your romantic possibilities or get a tattoo of a ninja mermaid. Success is of course still quite feasible at other times, but you might find most grace and ease if you align yourself with the cosmic flow. Let’s consider, for example, the issue of you taking a vacation. According to my understanding, if you do it between now and July 23, the experiences you have will free your ass, and — hallelujah! — your mind will then gratefully follow. If you schedule your getaway for another time, you could still free your ass, but may have to toil more intensely to get your mind to join the fun.

SAGITTARIUS

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NOV. 22-DEC. 21:

What is your most hateable and loveable obsession, Sagittarius? The compulsion that sometimes sabotages you and sometimes inspires you? The longing that can either fool you or make you smarter? Whatever it is, I suspect it’s beginning a transformation. Is there anything you can do to ensure that the changes it undergoes will lead you away from the hateable consequences and closer to the loveable stuff? I think there’s a lot you can do. For starters: Do a ritual — yes, an actual ceremony — in which you affirm your intention that your obsession will forever after serve your highest good and brightest integrity.

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19:

As someone who thrives on simple organic food and doesn’t enjoy shopping, I would not normally have lunch at a hot dog stand in a suburban mall. But that’s what I did today.

Nor do I customarily read books by writers whose philosophy repels me, and yet recently I have found myself skimming through Ayn Rand’s The Virtue of Selfishness. I’ve been enjoying these acts of rebellion. They’re not directed at the targets that I usually revolt against, but rather at my own habits and comforts. I suggest you enjoy similar insurrections in the coming week, Capricorn. Rise up and overthrow your attachment to boring familiarity.

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18:

The ancient Chinese book of divination known as the I Ching speaks of “catching things before they exit the gate of change.” That’s what happens when a martial artist anticipates an assailant’s movement before it happens, or when a healer corrects an imbalance in someone’s body before it becomes a full-blown symptom or illness. I see this as an important principle for you right now, Aquarius.

It’s a favorable time to catch potential disturbances prior to the time they exit the gate of change. If you’re alert for prebeginnings, you should be able to neutralize or transform brewing problems so they never become problems.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20:

Neurophysiologists say that singing really loudly can flush away metabolic waste from your cerebrum. I say that singing really loudly can help purge your soul of any tendency it might have to ignore its deepest promptings. I bring these ideas to your attention, Pisces, because I believe the current astrological omens are suggesting that you do some really loud singing. Washing the dirt and debris out of your brain will do wonders for your mental hygiene. And your soul could use a boost as it ramps up its wild power to pursue its most important dreams.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22:

Here’s my nomination for one of the Ten Biggest Problems

Boulder Weekly

June 21, 2012 49

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New Medicine Based On An 88-Year Old Theory By Albert Einstein Can Help Almost Everyone Who Is Sick Or Injured!

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It Works So Well On So Many Different Problems, It Seems Like It Couldn't Possibly Be True!

But it is true! As mentioned earlier, all injury and illness creates an interruption of energy to the cells of the human Registered With The FDA To Be 100% Safe! body. The body will never recover until the proper amount Low-level lasers use less than one watt of power and they and type of energy is restored to these cells. But once that produce what can best be described as a "Healing Light". energy is restored...

Here is a somewhat un-scientific description of how this "Healing Light" can cure the damage done by human sick- The Body Can Recover From Almost Everything! ness and disease.

As you probably know, our entire bodies are made up of With the correct equipment, properly used, low-level human cells. The health of all human cells is based on en- lasers have been clinically shown to reduce pain, reduce ergy. If your cells don't receive enough energy, they will inflammation, increase cellular energy, increase cell perweaken and the body will become sick. meability (so that the nutrients the cell needs to heal can For you to be healthy, what your cells need is exactly the get into the cell) and even help correct faulty DNA!* right kind and the right amount of energy. Every time you get What you have just read is a very simplistic (almost injured or become sick, the energy flow to your cells is dis- childish) explanation of low-level laser therapy, of how it rupted. Until the proper type and amount of energy is re- works, and what it can do for you. But this is something stored, you will remain sick or injured. that needs to be explained to you much more accurately by That's what a low-level laser device does. It re-energizes a real expert. the cells in your body with the right kind and proper amount This is information which just might help relieve you of of healing energy. any disease and might possibly save your life and the life It may surprise you to learn that low level lasers are ... of your loved ones. And best of all, you can ...

Used By Doctors To Heal Their Patients In The Fastest Way Possible!

Could you guess what kind of doctors use the highest percent of low-level lasers on their patients?

It's doctors involved in sports medicine. Why? The answer is simple. You see, doctors involved in sports medicine often have to get their patients better in the fastest way humanly possible because every day he remains "unhealthy" can cost the sports organization millions of dollars.

But here's something exciting! You don't actually need to go to a doctor to get laser therapy. If you want to you can buy one of these devices and use it on yourself. The best ones come with simple, easy-to-follow instructions and can be used by almost any person with average intelligence.

Perhaps the best low-level lasers in the world have been invented by a doctor named Larry Lytle. He has studied lasers and human health for years, and Dr. Lytle is, without question, one of the most knowledgeable people in the world about low-level lasers... and... how they can be used...

To Help Almost Every Health Problem Ever

Get This Information Absolutely FREE!

Dr. Larry Lytle himself has written and compiled a FREE REPORT in which he explains to you exactly how and why low-level laser therapy works. Dr. Lytle will show you some unbelievable "before" and "after" pictures of people who have benefited by this amazing new therapy.

For some people, a free report and information like this can mark the beginning of an entirely new life... pain-free and full of energy.

For others, it can make the difference of living a healthy life compared to a low-energy life of sickness and disease.

And, for those who live with enormous pain every day ... this free report could truly guide them to a miracle!

But even if you are not sick, not injured, or not in pain, you should still order this report. After all, it is 100% free.

And almost nobody lives out their life without having at least some kind of sickness or injury.

Wouldn't it be nice to know that, if you do become sick or injured, you will at least know where to go to find some sort

Professional Results In a Small, Easy to Use Package!

Call 1-800-303-6923, Code 7200 For Your FREE Report

of answer to your problems that don’t involve dangerous drugs!

Dr. Lytle is a remarkably young man in his 70’s. His life’s missions is “To Make A Difference In Humankind”, and he has devoted his life to the accomplishment of that goal. He passionately believes low-level laser therapy is an important health management tool that can benefit nearly everyone that uses it.

Call 1-800-303-6923

... after you are connected, at the prompt, press the code number - 7200 - into your keypad then leave your name and mailing information. That number again is 1-800-3036923, Code 7200.

Your free report ... and free gift (if you’re one of the first 200 callers) will be sent to you via 1st Class Mail.

Do It Now While It's Fresh On Your Mind!

After all, this is one free report that will teach you about something that can possibly make more of a positive change in your life than anything else you will ever learn.

Get the free report. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The report and your gift are both 100% free!

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Call For Your FREE Information Pack and short DVD 1-800-303-6923 Code: 7200

OMC

OPTIONS MEDICAL CENTER • BOULDER

COLORADO RED CARD HOLDERS

We invite new patients to join our dispensary!

OMC

EVERYONE ELSE

Lowest Prices in CO

Yes

No

Reimburse up to $70 of your Doctor visit

Yes

No

Pay your State Red Card Fee

Yes

No

50% Discount on your 1st 8th of the month

Yes

No

50% Discount on an 8th on your birthday

Yes

No

Free Chair Massage

Yes

Some

Medical Quality Organically Grown Meds

Yes

Some

Gimicks

No

Yes

$19.88 per 8th

No Membership Required

for top shelf

Get your first oz. for

$50.00

for signing OMC as your caregiver

Now available at OMC

The rempen

oil vape

$55.00

(price includes 1 pen plus 1 honey oil cartridge)

For medical marijuana patients only Hours: Monday - Friday 11am - 6:45pm • Saturday 12pm - 6pm • Sunday 12pm - 4pm

1534 55th Street • Boulder, CO • email: info@optionsmedicalcenter.com • 303.444.0861 54 June 21, 2012

Boulder Weekly

JUNE SPECIALS $175 TOP SHELF Ounces

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CHEBA CHEWS Full Line of Organa-Labs CO2 OILS Come by to check out our amazing new strains for colorado medical marijuana patients only

Come melt your pains away at NOW New waxes in the shop today!

Primary Center Incentives

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Bring this ad in for your

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Customer Appreciation Special!

Red Dragon Oil

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$10 per gram $15 1/2 gram • $25 gram ALL PRICES INCLUDE TAX.

• 100% pure medicine, all day every day • Store Credit for New Signovers • Loyalty Programs • Outstanding Customer Service and MUCH MORE!

Chair Massages

Thursday 3-5 $1p/min and FREE on Sunday 11-5!

60 and 90 min massages by appt $49/$69 LMT

Over 30 different types of Bubble Hash, Critical Extract, and Wax. Vast selection of Medibles This ad intended for Colorado MMR patients

Daily specials for members only NEW STORE HOURS: Mon - Sat 11:00 - 7:00 • Sunday 11:00 - 5:00

2885 Aurora Ave. Suite 40 • Boulder • 720-266-9967 Boulder Weekly

Check our website. www.newoptionswellness.com and Facebook page for daily specials June 21, 2012 55

Happily Selling Hondas in Boulder County Since 1976!

last word

I am committed to making your car buying experience easy and fun!

Elizabeth Frame Awarded Best Senior Sales Consultant of Boulder by Daily Camera Everybody knows somebody Civic Hybrid who loves a Honda.

45 MPG HWY

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BUY ONE ITEM, GET 2nd ITEM

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Please see ad on page 51.

Now offering acne treatments. www.divineresonance.com 720-432-1108

Get your car ready for summer!

Winner of Best of Boulder 2011 & 2012!

www.alpinedetailing.com call 303.579.9398

(limit one per customer. discount taken on lower priced item. must bring or mention ad excludes house & garden products)

Proud Retailer of House & Garden Nutrients

Give me a call today!

10-6 Mon-Sat, 12-5 Sun 303.586.1715 3620 Walnut St., Boulder www.onelovegardensupply.com

303-772-2900

Frontier Honda

KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF! INFUSED BUD & CAVIAR 15% OFF

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We are open 7 days a week including 4th of July.

Pure, Clean, Potent FARM NECTAR $35/gram, available at Root Organic and The Farm

The Drum Shop

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30% OFF Lights!!!

Hoods, Ballasts, Bulbs* HPS, Halide, T5, CFL June 28th - 30th

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MMD Medical Doctors 720-440-2023 Boulder Clinic NOW OPEN IN BOULDER! See our ad on page 40.

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BOULDER WELLNESS CENTER Open Daily 11am-7pm

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Boulder 6395 W. Gunpark drive – 303.473.4769 deNVer 301 e. 57th Avenue – 303.296.7900 Fort ColliNs 3201 e. Mulberry street – 970.484.4769 lAKeWood 11989 W. Colfax Ave – 303.546.3600

– waytogrow.net –