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World Sickle Cell Day highlights disease that predominantly affects people of color but is underfunded

by Angela K. Evans

The price to plug oil and gas wells goes up as the industry goes down

by Matt Cortina

The Clinic, Denver Beer Co., Earthly Labs and CDPHE join forces to brew sustainable beer and grow great pot

by Will Brendza

Helios Lucida’s abstract portraiture is an escape from ‘these unprecedented times’ — or is it?

by Caitlin Rockett

Virtual events, Pride celebrations, summer music, and more to do when there’s ‘nothing’ to do...

by Boulder Weekly Staff

Beers to cheers dear old Dad

by Michael J. Casey

Sushi Zanmai opens for in-house dining with an emphasis on safety and comfort

by Matt Cortina

departments 5 6 7 19 20 21 23 29 30

The Anderson Files: Police reform and the rebirth of hope Guest Column: Forcing hikers to pay to grow more trout and deer is wrong Letters: Signed, sealed, delivered... your views Words: ‘No such thing,’ by Patrick McGuire Film: ‘The Camerman’ is a well-deserved restoration Astrology: by Rob Brezsny Food/Drink: Food news and what to try this week in Boulder County Savage Love: Oral reports Cannabis Corner: Want to avoid a pre-employment drug test?

Look for work at the top

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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JUNE 18, 2020

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We’re here so you can Live and Die Your Values.

Seth

The safest kind of door handles are the ones you don’t have to touch at all

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JUNE 18, 2020

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Publisher, Fran Zankowski Editor, Matt Cortina Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Arts and Culture Editor, Caitlin Rockett Special Editions Editor, Michael J. Casey Adventure Editor, Emma Athena Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Will Brendza, Rob Brezsny, Paul Danish, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, John Lehndorff, Rico Moore, Amanda Moutinho, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Christi Turner, Betsy Welch, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner SALES AND MARKETING Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Account Executives, Matthew Fischer, Sami Wainscott Advertising Coordinator, Corey Basciano Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Art Director, Susan France Senior Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Graphic Designer, Daisy Bauer CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama BUSINESS OFFICE Bookkeeper, Regina Campanella Founder/CEO, Stewart Sallo Editor-at-Large, Joel Dyer Cover, Jessica Essex, kitchen manager at Fresh Thymes Eatery Photo, Susan France June 18, 2020 Volume XXVII, Number 44 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@ boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2020 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

Boulder Weekly

welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Police reform and the rebirth of hope

by Dave Anderson

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ulti-racial crowds of people are rallying across the country in the middle of a pandemic against police violence.

The number of white people demonstrating is impressive. For many years, all of us have watched countless cell phone videos of unarmed black people being killed by cops. Many of us who are white have come to realize that black Americans face dangers when dealing with police that we don’t. As a result, there’s been a sea change in public opinion. A majority of Americans support these protests. A Monmouth poll revealed that 78% feel protesters’ anger about the killing of George Floyd is wholly or partially justified.

The current turmoil has been compared to 1968. However, Todd Gitlin, a sociologist who was a student radical I

leader of the 1960s, argued in a Washington Post op-ed that today it is more like 1969. He said: “The uprising underway now signals a vastly more popular and widespread movement reminiscent of the great outpouring of anti-Vietnam War action in October and November 1969, under the aegis of a national project called the Moratorium...”

The Moratorium grew out of a call for a general strike to end the war. But the organizers wanted it to appeal to folks who didn’t necessarily identify with the radical New Left or the counterculture. Millions didn’t go to work or school on Oct. 15, and the rallies were held in communities rather than on university campuses. Gitlin said it was “widespread, politically heterogeneous, mostly middle-class, largely white but JUNE 18, 2020

cross-racial.” While today’s issue of racial justice is different, “the ecumenical spirit, the resolve and the conviction about the need for a new political start were similar.”

We now know that President Richard Nixon was shaken. He was secretly planning a major escalation of the war. But, he backed down.

Thomas Edsall, in his weekly New York Times column, was more cautious than Gitlin. Citing public opinion polls and interviewing scholars, he wondered how much this country is changing. He said: “White Americans have a history of losing interest in racial justice soon after they acknowledge injustice, as if their acknowledgment, rather than actual changes in the world, was the end of see THE ANDERSON FILES Page 6

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Forcing hikers to pay to grow more trout and deer is wrong

by Dr. John Laundré

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hough I am not a resident of Colorado, I have become aware of a recent development that should not only alarm Coloradans but all of us who cherish our wildlife heritage in this country. It appears that Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) will be installing a new “rule” that will require all who use state wildlife areas to purchase either a fishing or hunting license. The supposed reason for this new rule is to “help fund wildlife conservation” by CPW. If this is the agency’s proposed rational, I must say that this is the most bold-faced lie I have ever heard from a state game agency. The reasons for it are many and because of limits on space I will only touch on some of the more egregious ones.

The first and foremost reason has to do with CPW, like so many other state game agencies, constantly perpetuating the myth that they are somehow these great “conservation agencies.” They strive to equate what they do to what real conservation biologists do. This cannot be further from the truth. CPW, as clearly stated, is not a true public entity but an “enterprise agency.” What that means is that CPW proudly proclaims it does not receive money from the state general fund but from “hunting, fishing and recreational shooting.”

This means that the primary clientele of CPW is not the public in general. It caters specifically to hunters and anglers. And hunters and anglers do not want conservation, they want management. They want their agency to make sure that there are enough of the 1% of the fish and game species they fish/hunt. It is hard to envision that such exclusion of a majority of the public (82% of Coloradans do not hunt or fish) is characteristic of a truly conservationoriented organization.

And this exclusivity goes even further by the second myth that CPW perpetuates: True, hunters and anglers fund the agency but the agency argues that those license fees 6

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somehow go toward the conservation of all wildlife for the benefit of all Coloradans. This also cannot be further from the truth. One just has to look at CPW’s 2016 report, “Funding the Future: Public Engagement Report” (page 5: “Sportsmen’s license fees are spent entirely on wildlife management”) to understand that all those license fees, decreed by selfserving law, can not be used for conservation but only for management or production of game species. They are indeed to only grow, as one former director of Idaho’s Department of Fish and Game proudly stated, more fish in the creel and more game in the bag... period. These funds are for CPW to grow more game species, on land and in the water, for its primary clients — hunters and anglers — to kill.

But yet, in spite of all this, CPW and other agencies continue to delude themselves and us as being such great conservationists. Why? The supposed claim that these agencies hang their conservation hat on is another myth. True, license fees cannot go directly to wildlife conservation efforts, but maybe, just maybe somehow the other 99% of the wildlife species benefit from the management of the 1% game species.

However, the policies and practices to grow more game species usually run counter to being beneficial to the rest of wildlife. And, in the case of predators, actually results in excess killing of them to propagate more favored game species. The infamous CPW cougar and bear study (See BW’s Off Target series parts 1-12) is a case in point of spending millions of dollars — all license fees — to kill a bunch of predators to grow more deer and elk. This is not conservation and the wildlife part of CPW is not a conservation agency. It is a hunter/ angler-oriented quasi-public wildlife livestock agency dedicated to serving the approximately 18% of Coloradans who hunt (4%) and fish (17%) just so see GUEST COLUMN Page 7

JUNE 18, 2020

THE ANDERSON FILES from Page 5

the matter.”

Ronald Inglehart, a political scientist at the University of Michigan, told Edsall that in this moment of rampant economic and physical insecurity, liberals have “a delicate balancing act. Trump’s clumsy handling of the demonstrators and his misuse of the military to clear the way for a photo op — on top of his inept response to the pandemic — have damaged his credibility.”

But Inglehart said, “The white working class has a deep-rooted ... sense that the system is failing them. A facile lurch to the ‘left’ that doesn’t take into account their concerns ... would be costly.”

Julie Wronski, a political scientist at the University of Mississippi, suggested: “The messaging of ‘Defund the Police’ is horrible political communication — and the impression that it gives the public (that the activists want to eliminate all police) is definitely seen as going too far. That message elicits anger, then confusion.”

Christy L. Lopez, professor at Georgetown Law School, says that the concept of defunding the police isn’t that radical: “To fix policing, we must first recognize how much we have come to over-rely on law enforcement. We turn to the police in situations where years of experience and common sense tell us that their involvement is unnecessary, and can make things worse.”

Police frequently complain that they are expected to handle complex social problems for which they are illequipped. In 2016, former Dallas police chief David Brown said: “We’re asking cops to do too much in this country. We are. We’re just asking us to do too much.

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Every societal failure, we put it off on the cops to solve. Not enough mental health funding. Let the cop handle it.

Not enough drug addiction funding.

Let’s give it to the cops. Here in Dallas, we’ve got a loose dog problem. Let’s have the cops chase loose dogs. You know, schools fail. Give it to the cops.”

Countless TV shows portray cops as superheroes who catch the bad guys in chaotic big cities. Nightly local TV news emphasize violent crime. “If it bleeds, it leads,” goes the saying.

The reality is much of police work is pretty boring. The Washington Post’s Philip Bump created a breakdown of calls for service in New Orleans in 2019 — 70% were for checks on property and people, traffic stops and other minor issues.

Economists Emmanuel Saez and Gabriel Zucman recently found that the U.S. spends more than twice as much on so-called “law and order” (police, prisons, courts) as it does on social welfare (temporary assistance, food stamps, supplemental social security). This is an upside-down world.

We need to redistribute much of that funding to schools, hospitals, mass transit and public housing. That isn’t going to happen right away. The November election approaches while activists call for immediate and drastic police reform. Slogans like “Defund the Police” and “Abolish the Police” get thrown around with multiple meanings. Trump and his gang lie and distort the calls for change. It is certain Trump will get worse if he is reelected.

This opinion does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Improve oil/gas regs

Amid the current public health crisis and evidence that air pollution increases vulnerability to respiratory viruses, it is now more important than ever to protect our air and water quality, public health and the environment from more fracking. Boulder County is threatened by 140 proposed fracking wells, which, if built, would contribute to worsening our already dangerous air quality, as well as accelerating climate change.

Boulder County is currently in the process of updating its regulations concerning oil and gas operations, in light of the expanded authority granted by SB 19-181. The updated regulations are a starting point, but are in need of improvement to ensure protection of public health, the environment and the climate. These regulations are no substitute for a ban on fracking. The Boulder County Commissioners should enact the strongest possible regulations, in addition to a ban on fracking, to ensure that our county is protected from the significant health risks posed by fracking, in addition to preventing the harm to society as a whole caused by the associated greenhouse gas emissions. The Commissioners declared a climate emergency last year — now, they must take the urgent action required of them.

Amy Allen/Boulder

Harber for Regent

I have known Aaron since he first interned with me at the Department of Commerce’s Office of Telecommunications, in Boulder, in the early 1970s while he was attending Princeton University. Over the years, my admiration for Aaron has only increased. He will most certainly be one of the most innovative and constructive Regents in the history of the CU. Knowledgeable, energetic, dependable, entrepreneurial and diligent are among the ways to describe Aaron Harber.

James Alleman/Professor Emeritus at University of Colorado – Boulder

Singer for Commissioner

Jonathan Singer is an example of great leadership and a role model for honest, hard-working, compassionate governance.

In January, my daughter was arrested at the Denver State Capital for standing up for climate change.

Although her charges were later dropped, she spent over 24 hours in the Denver city jail, the youngest and only high school student jailed for singing in the lobby of the capital with several other Boulder High students. Not knowing what was going to happen next, it was Representative Singer who turned an intimidating, confusing experience into one of hope and pride in our state government.

Before ever meeting, Rep. Singer spoke on the House floor about my daughter’s arrest while raising critical questions that the next generation of young adults are facing in this challenging time. By standing up for our young citizens’ constitutional right of freedom of speech, Rep. Singer showed that he is a man of integrity, courage and leadership. Later that week, Rep. Singer welcomed us into the Capital and compassionately listened to my daughter’s story. The time he took to understand our particular situation was remarkable. His pride in our state governance gave us tremendous comfort knowing that someone at his level not only truly cared but immediately put his concerns into action.

Given his legislative experience as a Colorado House Representative, his strong environmental record and background as a social worker, Jonathan Singer would be a tremendous asset to our local governance. He has proven that he puts his words into action.

We need solid leadership whom we can trust to stand up for issues that matter to citizens of Boulder County.

Singer will do that.

Brenda Lee/Boulder

Please use your voice to vote for

two excellent non-establishment Democrats in this year’s primary.

Andrew Romanoff is running against John Hickenlooper to be the Democrat to send Cory Gardner packing. We need a strong and progressive Democrat to represent us in D.C. Hickenlooper sued Longmont when citizens overwhelmingly voted to change our city charter to ban fracking. The climate crisis is Romanoff ’s number-one issue, though he’s equally passionate about health care for all, comprehensive immigration reform, common sense gun safety and restoring integrity to our democracy. Because he’s walking the talk and not taking PAC nor special interest money, Romanoff ’s being outspent by a factor of 10.

Marta Loachamin is running for County Commissioner against Jonathan Singer. I’m supporting Loachamin because she’s a woman and person of color who is highly qualified for this position.

Especially now, I want to make history by electing our first Latinx person to serve in this role. This seat is currently held by Deb Gardner, who is term limited along with Elise Jones. While both Deb and Elise have endorsed Loachamin, the majority of the establishment has not. Like Romanoff, Loachamin has been outraised by a factor of 10.

Shari Malloy/Longmont

desires not their own. And that is wrong.

The last thing I think smells funny about this new CPW “rule” is how it came about. Not being from the state, I don’t know if CPW explored other alternatives or held truly public meetings to get all stakeholders’ views or talked about diverting the fees to GOCO or if they rushed this through behind closed doors and secret meetings.

Knowing what I do about how hunter-oriented agencies’ work to avoid general public input, I fear the latter. I just cannot imagine, given the large percent of the population that participated in outdoor activities other than hunting and fishing — 37% based on a 2011 USFW survey data, 57% based on a 2016 data — that they would have agreed to

have their recreation dollars go to supporting killing the very wildlife they hope to see alive on their outdoor adventures.

If it is the case that CPW did surreptitiously pass this rule behind the public’s back, this is indeed a dark time for both the public trust and the democratic rule of law regarding managing Colorado’s wildlife resources for all Coloradans. And if it is allowed to stand, it is a harbinger of even darker times for all of us as the dictatorial power hunters and anglers have over the wildlife we all own, is codified in official “rules.”

Dr. John W. Laundré is a wildlife conservation biologist at Western Oregon University.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

Vote for non-establishment candidates

GUEST COLUMN from Page 6

they have something to kill.

And now we have this agency, similar in many ways to the game keepers of medieval Europe, finding that there are not enough “royals” (hunters and anglers) to support these game-farming practices. So, what does it do? In true feudal style, the agency decides to tax the serfs!

And to tax them in such a way as to make sure those dollars go specifically to growing more trout and deer... license fees.

Now I am not against others, especially the general public, supporting wildlife conservation. I think we should all pay something. However, I vigorously object to a game agency doing a purposeful end run to make sure that, in this case, hikers are paying for growing more wildlife to kill.

It is not like CPW did not have BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

other options. It has the Great Outdoors Colorado (GOCO) program, funded currently by the state lottery. Those monies diverted to the wildlife part of CPW are, hopefully, used to fund the limited, true wildlife conservation done. I say limited because it only comprises less than 10% of the wildlife section’s budget.

If CPW truly wanted to make sure hikers’ money went to conservation of the wildlife they enjoy rather than growing trout and deer, why did it not propose a hiking license, or whatever you want to call it, with those funds going to GOCO? Unfortunately, there are sinister reasons I suspect for this that I don’t have space to get into. Suffice to say, what CPW chose to do was to divert, corrupt those dollars, forcing hikers to support hunters’ and anglers’ I

JUNE 18, 2020

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World Sickle Cell Day highlights disease predominantly affecting people of color But search for a cure is underfunded

by Angela K. Evans

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uneteenth celebrates African American freedom, commemorating the end of slavery in the U.S. and acknowledging a period in history that has had long-lasting influences in our society. But June 19 is also World Sickle Cell Day, declared so in 2008 by the United Nations to raise international awareness about “one of the world’s foremost genetic diseases” that predominately affects people of African descent.

Millions of people are affected globally, and, according to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 100,000 Americans are living with sickle cell disease.

In Colorado, the state legislature created The Sickle Cell Research and Treatment Center in the early 1970s as part of the CU School of Medicine on the Anschutz Medical Campus.

With an emphasis on research and education, the purpose of the Center is to “help to assure that persons living with sickle cell disease across the lifespan have the specialty services that they need [and] to be champions in the systems where sickle cell patients receive care,” says Director Dr. Kathryn Hassell.

The Center, including the pediatric program at Children’s Hospital, serves about 450 people (250 children, 200 adults), 90% to 95% of whom are African American, Hassell says. There’s also a cohort of people from the Middle East, as well as a small percentage of Hispanic individuals and a few folks who are Caucasian.

“It does affect often persons of color, but it can exist in any person,” she says. “That’s why we screen every baby born for the disease because we can’t, and shouldn’t, make an assumption, especially in the modern world, about what your heritage is.”

We recently spoke with Dr. Hassell and her colleague Dr. Rachelle Nuss, associate director of the Center in charge of the pediatric program, about sickle cell, the challenges to treatment and the possibility of a cure.

The interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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Q: Can you describe sickle cell disease and how it affects the body?

Kathryn Hassell: Sickle cell disease is a genetic disorder of the hemoglobin, which is what is found in red blood cells and carries oxygen. The hemoglobin is made up of proteins, and there are two genes that regulate it. In genetics, we refer to something as a trait when one gene is normal and one gene is abnormal, in this case the sickle mutation, so we call it a sickle cell trait.

When both genes have the sickle mutation, you then have what’s called sickle cell anemia. That’s the most usual form of the disease. That means that you don’t make any normal hemoglobin, you make only sickle hemoglobin and in a reduced concentration. Under certain conditions, it can form a kind of gel inside the red cells called polymerization, and it can cause this cell to change shape and become like a sickle.

If it was only anemia, we could fix that. But the problem is those blood cells get stuck inside blood vessels and can cause organ damage and very severe pain. And all of this is simply because there’s one little point in each of their hemoglobin genes that’s mutated, and this has all these downstream consequences.

Rachelle Nuss: I would add, a unique thing about sickle cell in Colorado is that when you go to higher JUNE 18, 2020

altitude, your red blood cells have less oxygen and that tends to cause the red cells to sickle. So many people think it’s not advisable for people with sickle cell disease to live in Colorado. In fact, the vast majority of people we treat are on the Front Range because higher altitude is detrimental to their health.

Q: You mentioned it’s extremely painful?

RN: Children can start having horrendous, usually described as stabbing, pain in their bones early in childhood. They can even start as infants and develop horrible, painful, swollen hands and feet where they require narcotics, even as young as six months old.

The pain in childhood could require hospitalization — if the families couldn’t manage at home with opiates — for about three days receiving intravenous narcotics. By the time the children are teenagers, they often need to stay for longer periods. As a complication of developing pain, about 20% of the hospitalized children will then go on to develop something called an acute chest crisis or development of an opacity in their lungs, which is life-threatening.

KH: This disease at any stage in life can create those episodes or what we call crisis, and the idea behind that on a medical basis is that blood I

flow is usually temporarily, but severely, constrained into muscles, tissues, bone. And that can obviously create severe pain and then there’s inflammation and maybe it swells some, maybe not visibly, but picture internally a real chaos.

I’ve had people with gunshot wounds say, “Give me a gunshot,” instead of have sickle cell pain. I’ve had other people who have delivered without anesthesia say, “I’ll sooner birth a baby than give me another crisis.”

Again, this is really severe pain, which is why we give it opiates.

The challenge in adulthood is the development of chronic pain, and then there’s the challenge of people of color in a system where often they’re working with white folks.

Young people come in, look OK, but they say they have horrible pain. They say, “I need my morphine.” ... It doesn’t always go well.

RN: A real misconception is that people are drug-seeking and that’s a huge issue in the emergency room or if families see a doctor who is not really familiar with sickle cell disease and the pain that it can cause.

KH: I think it speaks to core societal issues, both around mistrust, judgment, bias and racism, but also around the whole issue that’s been created with the opiate crisis. So what I do in my educational efforts is point out that the CDC made strong statements after the opiate crisis document came to say, “Oops, we didn’t mean sickle cell... sickle cell should be treated like cancer pain.” And I’ve been able to utilize that with my colleagues and the health care system because they just assumed if you’re young, you shouldn’t be on opiates because clearly no one needs it. But then we’re back to the usual level of bias about a young person of color who seems to know what their drug doses are, that must mean they just know what they need to get high.

And that’s an ongoing struggle.

Q: How do other issues of systemic racism show up in your work?

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

RN: At our Children’s Hospital, we have the whole gamut of treatment options available. The real limitation is the families being able to access all the care that the children need. We see a lot of people who need to access food stamps. People don’t have transportation. People have a lot of housing issues. People who are working can’t afford to take the time off to bring their children in for all the visits that are needed. Although the care is available, being able to access the care with frequency is not often a reasonable expectation for the family.

KH: The disparity is at multiple levels in terms of the hurdles to overcome. The people in the communities affected have plenty on their plate with disadvantages in so many other arenas.

Q: What about funding? Is there sufficient money going toward treatment and finding a cure?

RN: It has always been a struggle financially. Taking care of the patients is really labor-intensive and not profitable to health care systems. One of my friends, who is a Boulder resident, donated money towards patient aid, and that money has been helpful for assisting families with security deposits that they wouldn’t otherwise have.

It allowed one young girl to get an oxygen concentrator so she didn’t need to take along a big tank with her. It allowed us to give families gift cards for food. But that was a very unique donation. In general, people do not donate money towards sickle cell.

When a support group tries to do a fundraiser, if they raise $1,500, they consider that successful.

KH: I’ve been doing this for 25 years almost, and I could count on less than one hand the number of companies and even National Institutes of Health funds that went to sickle cell — research, protocols, programs, et cetera.

Just recently colleagues came out with a comparison to cystic fibrosis, which has far fewer individuals (about 30,000 nationwide), but with a much more diverse background and often Caucasian individuals affected, with a strong advocacy group.

But there’s been a huge influx in the last five to 10 years in pharmaceutical and other research dollars to understand how to modify and/or cure this disease. But none of them are going to pay Dr. Nuss or me to do the care, or the nurse in the clinic or the social worker or the psychologists.

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

And so that’s where the disconnect comes in. I’m hopeful on the one hand, because at least there’s attention being paid, but on the other, there’s still the reality on the ground for the day-to-day care of the individual where resources are limited.

Q: Is there a cure?

RN: Bone marrow transplant is curative. Ideally someone would have a match in a brother or sister, but that only occurs about 18% of the time.

We have been participating in a

national study looking at a half match for bone marrow transplant. And so far, we have four individuals on that trial, and they are all cured, so that’s very promising for the future.

There is also research data that gene therapy is a curative option, although it’s very early in its stages.

KH: I would say we have not yet figured out how to cure this disease using gene therapy. There are lots of different approaches, but it’s not as simple as just chopping out the bad gene and putting in the good genes. A

lot of what’s being done with gene therapy is to simply insert genetic material that makes normal or even super normal hemoglobin but doesn’t necessarily turn off the sickle gene.

So it is, as Dr. Nuss said, a work in progress. Most of the individuals who have experienced gene therapy with sickle cell disease still make sickle hemoglobin, they just make less of it.

And of course, how long do those changes last in those cells that were corrected? So far, it looks good, but time will tell.

Sunday June 21st 2020 10am - 2pm Car Show

Classic, Muscle, Custom, New Performance & Special Interest Cars Welcome No registration required, free admission, food and prizes!

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JUNE 18, 2020

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9

Footing the bill

The price to plug oil and gas wells goes up as the industry goes down

by Matt Cortina

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or years, environmentalists have raised concerns that oil and gas companies were going to leave communities on the hook for the billions of dollars it will cost to plug abandoned wells.

Now, new research from the nonprofit Carbon Tracker (released June 18) indicates the cost to plug wells in Colorado and beyond could cost as much as 10-15 times what was expected.

“Costs are going to be greater than the industry is saying,” says Robert Schuwerk, Carbon Tracker executive director of North America.

With COVID-19 and global oil market fluctuations, tens of thousands of wells have been shut in this year alone. Industry members have claimed the drop in production is temporary, but Schuwerk says when one also factors in the continued push toward renewable energy, “It’s quite possible that we would’ve seen peak oil demand in 2019. It’s already in the rearview mirror.”

That’s a problem for covering the cost of capping abandoned wells, which oil and gas companies are required to do when a well is no longer producing in order to mitigate environmental impacts. The concern has always been that taxpayers will foot the bill instead of the companies that profited from drilling the wells.

Carbon Tracker’s report, titled “It’s Closing Time,” found that the nationwide oil and gas industry “may not have sufficient revenues and savings to satisfy liabilities for hundreds of billions of dollars ... as they come due.”

That’s because states, including BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Colorado, didn’t set bond rates high enough to ensure there was enough money to cap the wells. Horizontal wells and deeper wells will cost as much as $300,000 per well to cap, as opposed to the earlier assumption of $20,000-$40,000 per well.

And the recent downturn in the market has only accelerated the problem. That’s because there was a fundamental flaw in the way oil and gas companies viewed paying for these obligations: they thought they could make up for it with future revenue.

But when the certainty of future revenue is thrown into doubt, so too does the funding source for cleaning up the industry’s messes.

“If we all decided to start saving for retirement at 60, we’re not going to be able to make up all that lost time,” Schuwerk says. “The problem is not as manageable as if we’d started when we had that first job.”

The report highlights other systemic problems within the oil and gas industry that have exacerbated the issue.

First, there’s a profit motive for oil and gas companies to sell lowproducing wells (called stripper wells) to smaller companies, thus passing the buck for capping those wells when (and if ever) they run dry.

Schuwerk says because there’s no penalty for this, or for selling to comI

panies with low credit, companies realize they “can sell it on to some other operator and go bankrupt.”

(Denver-based Extraction Oil & Gas was the latest industry company to file for bankruptcy on June 15.)

The second systemic issue is the concept of “zombie” wells: idle wells that sit, sometimes for decades, unused or little used, but that are not required to be permanently retired.

Thus, companies are disincentivized to spend the money to cap the wells, and the report indicates the number of these wells has “ballooned.”

“Some of these wells that are not economic to continue to produce from will continue to produce just to delay closure,” Schuwerk says. “It probably is economically rational. ...

You want to delay [well retirement] as long as you can.”

And, of course, there’s an environmental impact for uncapped wells.

If a well is not properly plugged (or a plugged well isn’t serviced over time), it can release methane. EPA data indicates millions of abandoned and improperly plugged oil and gas wells across the U.S. are releasing massive amounts of methane into the atmosphere.

There are also ground-level issues with not capping wells — air and water can be contaminated. That fact, combined with the stark financial JUNE 18, 2020

realities outlined in this report and others, could actually encourage lawmakers and community members to coalesce around a solution.

“There are increasingly more policy makers and officials at the state level that see the writing is on the wall and know that this is not going to be the same as it always was,” Schuwerk says. “And it’s not just the politicians, it’s the landowners, the ones who live next to it, the ones with wells on their land that are not producing any more except for toxic fumes.”

Schuwerk recommends new wells be bonded at the rate it’s actually going to cost to cap them — that’s common sense, and “it just needs to be implemented.”

Regulators can do more to disincentivize abandoned and stripper wells, and implement an increase in bonding to wells that are currently producing, Schuwerk says.

Building political support to enact those changes will be a challenge, but there is momentum via the growth of the renewable energy sector and support for environmental action as seen in the Paris Climate Accords. But ultimately, Schuwerk says, there is a powerful financial motive to bring bonds up and otherwise ensure oil and gas companies pay for capping wells.

“The states that have bonding in place are going to get paid out of those bonds,” he says, “and the states that don’t will get nothing.”

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

The Colorado special

The Clinic, Denver Beer Co., Earthly Labs and CDPHE join forces to brew sustainable beer and grow great pot

by Will Brendza LAUREN MIMS, THE CLINIC

T

he room is empty except for three large, stainless-steel tanks against one wall, hooked up to wires, hoses and valves. Brian Cusworth, Chris Baca, Gina Cannon and I all stand, arms crossed, watching the tanks pump carbon dioxide through The Clinic’s main grow operation in Englewood.

“CO2 is basically a fertilizer,” says Cusworth, director of operations at The Clinic. “When combined with light it basically gives cannabis plants the energy to grow.”

One of the three tanks was designed by Earthly Labs and filled with CO2 at Denver Beer Company’s Canworks facility in Sunnyside — about seven miles north of the grow operation. (The other two are filled with industrial CO2 from power plants.) The Canworks CO2 is a byproduct of the fermentation process that, up until now, has just been a stream of waste coming out of the brewery. But a unique partnership between The Clinic marijuana dispensaries, Denver Beer Company, Earthly Labs and the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment (CDPHE) hopes to change that.

“I saw a super exciting opportunity to link these two industries together,” says Kaitlin Urso, the environmental protection specialist at the CDPHE. “A chance to bring a one-way [waste] stream from one and turn it into a commodity for the other.”

Using Earthly Labs’ small-scale carbon capture system, this pilot project eliminates CO2 waste from brewing and turns it into a resource for cannabis growers. The CO2 Earthly Labs provides is cleaner and cheaper than CO2 from industrial providers. It also cuts down on transportation emissions since industrial providers no longer have to transport CO2 around the Front Range.

When Urso pitched Cusworth and The Clinic’s head grower, Chris Baca, the idea of teaming up with Denver Beer and Earthly Labs to increase their efficiency on both financial and environmental levels, they leapt at the opportunity. It seemed to them like a win-win-win situation.

“This is 500 pounds,” says Cusworth, nodding toward the Earthly Labs tank of compressed and liquified CO2. “We get one of these once a week from Denver Beer.”

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

ABOVE: Chris Baca (center) explains to Charlie Berger and Kaitlin Urso how the vegetative state of growing cannabis works.

BELOW: Urso, Amy George, Brian Cusworth and Berger enjoying Denver Beer Co. beers with Earthly Labs CO2 recovery technology.

Baca says The Clinic use 6,600 pounds of CO2 a month, pumping it through a vaporizer and dispersing it throughout the facility — which, Cusworth points out, is about 80,000 pounds a year. Denver Beer Company produces closer to 150,000 pounds of CO2 annually.

“The whole goal is to move everything over to this,” Cusworth says, pointing to the Earthly Labs system.

Next, we follow Baca down the hall, past the helm of his operation: the CO2 control panel where he constantly monitors and adjusts the levels of CO2 circulating through different grow rooms.

Our first stop: the veg room, an LED-lit room, full of baby pot plants.

“This is where it all starts off,” Baca says. I follow him between rows of seedling cannabis plants. He I

JUNE 18, 2020

shows me the white tube, which lines the border of the room around the floor and releases CO2 from holes along its length. Baca has strategically placed fans all around to keep CO2 circulating constantly.

“These plants have all spent their entire lives in Denver Beer CO2,” Baca says as he waves his hand over several rows of seedlings.

So far, the plants look healthy.

Baca is cataloguing their rates of growth and making sure everything looks good as they grow. He notes, though, that this isn’t really a high-risk experiment for The Clinic. As Urso explains, the CO2 captured off of Denver Beer’s fermentation process is a lot purer than the CO2 that’s produced by combustion at power plants.

How that will affect the flower these plants produce is yet to be seen, however.

The plants spend about eight weeks in the veg room, Baca tells me, before they’re taken over to the flower room. From there it’s another eight weeks until he ships them off to a bud dealer.

The plants that have grown up on this CO2 won’t be ready for harvest until late June, and the bud they produce won’t be available until the beginning of July.

But Baca and Cusworth are hopeful. Baca explains that with better-quality CO2, the flower “nugs” that come off his plants will be denser and stickier than those grown with lesser-quality CO2.

Sometime around July 4, customers will be able to get their hands on the world’s first weed grown with beer CO2: a Colorado special. It could very well revolutionize aspects of both the cannabis industry and the craft brewing industry, simultaneously saving local businesses money, reducing breweries’ carbon footprints, and helping to grow sustainable marijuana flower.

“This industry is changing so fast,” Cusworth says. “We’re always trying to see what we can do better and how we can be more sustainable.”

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13

A portal to the imagination

Adam Sloat

Helios Lucida’s abstract portraiture is an escape from ‘these unprecedented times’ — or is it?

Broker/Owner

Your Boulder Real Estate Expert and Music Guy

By Caitlin Rockett

H

WHAT’S THE BEST COMPLIMENT YOU’VE RECEIVED? Question: So Adam, what’s the best compliment you received as an agent?

Answer: Being told by a client that I kept their transaction alive and improved their terms and outcome, without them really being surprised by such results. To have a client’s trust like that and for them to know they can count on me no matter what comes up is a pretty big deal.

It feels good and it’s a responsibility I take extremely seriously.

Top: “Now It’s Over”

720-466-8212 adam@adamsloat.com www.westwaterrealty.com 14

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Middle: “The Flower Peddler” Bottom: “The Last Great Entertainer”

JUNE 18, 2020

elios Lucida’s exhibition at the Firehouse Art Center proves Oscar Wilde was right: Life imitates art far more than art imitates life.

The Conifer resident’s abstract portraiture straddles the line between the real and surreal, taking the ancient art form that has recorded human existence for millennia and pushing it to the edge of recognition. Though Lucida wouldn’t say this himself, it’s terribly relevant to “these unprecedented times,” when a virus, police brutality and a gaslighting, image-obsessed president have made us question what’s real, what’s “normal.”

What does normal really mean — and is it even something worth fighting for?

For Lucida — for his art, at least — it’s not.

“I didn’t want the artwork to be illustrative,” he says of his portraits. “And by making it abstract I felt like it left an opening for the viewer looking at it. I didn’t want it to just be a painting of a person. I wanted to have some element to it, whether it was changing the colors or the structure or distorting it in some way, that would allow imagination to sort of expand.”

The Firehouse exhibition, Unusual Suspects, is catnip for the imagination, offering an initial stimulation that gives way to a sense of mellow calm. Based mostly on photographs Lucida took of various drag performers over several years, the collection revels in dynamic color and texture.

“I build the image up in layers of paint until I have a traditional rendering of a portrait,” Lucida said in a statement about the exhibition. “Then, I start to add additional layers of paint that I distort with various mediums, brushes, palette knives and homemade tools. This is the high wire event for each one of these paintings; as I push it towards the edge, I use my intuition as an artist to decide at which point to solidify the visual chaos at the desired moment.”

Like Philippe Petit, balanced 400 meters above New York City, Lucida only steps off the wire when he’s finished or it starts to rain.

“By pushing it too far, I’ve had to destroy some paintings because they just blew up,” Lucida says. “I lost contact with my artwork.”

The work in Unusual Suspects is reminiscent of the figurative work of 20th century painter Francis Bacon, whom Lucida counts as an inspiration. But unlike Bacon, who sought to render “the brutality of fact,” Lucida is less concerned with facts than he is with imagination.

“I prefer that [the viewer] take from it what they will,” he says.

“I don’t mind explaining what the artwork means to me or how I made the artwork, but somebody else observing it is going to have a different interpretation of what that is based on who they are, their life experiences. I think the only thing that I hope they I

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Clockwise: “The Fortune Teller;” “The Attendant #2;” “Kiki”

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would see is that I’m trying to create a portal for their imagination that could lead anywhere.”

In most of the paintings, Lucida has left unaltered that most important portal to the soul, the eyes, giving the viewer a chance to connect with the subject, to look them in the eye despite the transmutations to their physical form. Those looking for further meaning might notice that most of the subjects’ mouths are rendered into river-like abstractions, sometimes flowing out of the painting. In some works, like “The Flower Peddler” (which Lucida created from his own imagination, not from a photograph), the river that flows from the subject’s mouth feels calm, as though we are standing at the edge of a metaphorical river of time that’s gently flowing toward us. In other paintings, like “Now It’s Over,” the flow can feel more chaotic, like an uncontrollable force of nature ready to consume us.

The two most abstracted of all the paintings ― “The Attendant #1” and “#2” — are self-portraits.

Lucida created the paintings by taking photos of himself wearing a mask and creating multiple exposures. The results are mind-bending, like looking at a clown through a kaleidoscope. You could say it’s a comment on the masks we all wear, on the different faces we show in public and private, on how we see ourselves versus how others see us. But that’s your choice. Lucida admits he was going through a rough patch when he created the self-portraits, but he refuses to limit your journey by imposing anything more on the artwork.

Perhaps Lucida’s art is an escape from the chaos of the day, or perhaps it offers a way to process the chaos, to admit that everything is indeed chaotic and it always has been. These are not unprecedented times — this is just life, and we have to make meaning of it by opening our minds and searching for meaning in the distortion.

“I’m well aware that my artwork is not accessible to everybody,” Lucida says. “I think it is hard for some people to appreciate. I understand that. I didn’t want to make corporate American art. I didn’t want to make art that could hang in the headquarters of Walmart. There are already a plethora of artists involved in making safe art. If somebody doesn’t like my art work or appreciate it or understand it, that’s their own prerogative. I’m not Moses. I’m not here to lead everyone through the valley.”

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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LUCIDA — ‘UNUSUAL SUSPECTS.’ Firehouse Art Center, 667 Fourth Ave., Longmont. Through July 26. Visit the Firehouse on Wed., Thurs., Friday and Sunday by appointment, Saturdays noon to 5 p.m. without an appointment.

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What to do when there’s ‘nothing’ to do...

VIRTUAL EVENTS

BY BOULDER WEEKLY STAFF

If your organization is planning an event of any kind, please email Caitlin at crockett@boulderweekly.com. n SOURDOUGH BAKING — WITH SARAH OWENS AND ANDY CLARK. 5 p.m. Thursday,

ever you have access to Facebook. On June 18, Hazel Miller & the Collective will be broadcasting live from Stewart Auditorium. Don’t miss this free event.

June 18, boulderbookstore.net.

With the popularity of sourdough on the rise, many are turning to the baking expertise of Sarah Owens, who won a James Beard PHOTO COURTESY ARTHUR SHIM Award for her first book, Sourdough.

She’ll be joined by Andy Clark, owner of Moxie Bread Co. in Louisville, to discuss the joys of sourdough baking and the benefits of heirloom grains. Tickets are $5 (plus a small convenience fee) for the access link to this virtual event. This access link will be sent the morning of the event (Thursday, June 18). You can purchase this on Eventbrite: OwensBBS.eventbrite.com.

n MUSEUM VIRTUAL SUMMER CONCERT: HAZEL MILLER & THE COLLECTIVE. 7:30 p.m.

Thursday, June 18, longmontmuseum.org.

Stretch out and enjoy some tunes in the cozy confines of your own home, backyard or wher-

pride

LONGMONT PRIDE 2020. JUNE 22-27.

For more information, visit outboulder.org.

n ARTWALK STRONGMONT 11 a.m.

Saturday, June 20 (additional dates: July 18 and Aug. 22), firehouseart.org.

Support Longmont’s creative community at the ArtWalk Strongmont Virtual Artist Market series. The ArtWalk Strongmont markets provide an interactive portal to each artist’s live event.

Viewers are invited to visit each artist’s studio to watch them create art live, as well as purchase from their online shop, all from the comfort and safety of their homes. 15% of all sales will be donated to The Firehouse Art Center.

SUPPORTING LGBTQ YOUTH COMMUNITY TRAINING. NOON. THURSDAY, JUNE 25.

Kick off Pride by joining Out Boulder County and the Longmont Public Library for Rainbow Storytime, an LGBTQ book reading for children and families. The reading will take place on Facebook Live at facebook.com/OutBoulderPride.

Topics will include local and regional resources for LGBTQ youth, the importance of pronouns and pronoun etiquette, inclusive sex education tips, safe binding for trans masculine youth, and some of the themes coming up in Out Boulder County’s LGBTQ youth groups.

Please RSVP here: bit.ly/lgbtqyouthtraining2020

VIRTUAL JOTERIA. 5 P.M. TUESDAY, JUNE 23, 2020

50+ LGBTQ MIXER. 5 P.M. THURSDAY, JUNE 25.

RAINBOW STORYTIME. 6 P.M. MONDAY, JUNE 22.

Jotería is a board game that reflects Mexico’s LGBT community, providing education on LGBT terms and their history, from pre-colonial to modern time. Join in the fun for a virtual game via Zoom.

Boards and all other relevant information will be emailed to participants. To RSVP, please email Juan Moreno at jmoreno@outboulder.org.

Come enjoy the virtual company of fellow members of the LGBTQ and allied community. To RSVP, email Juan Moreno at jmoreno@outboulder. org. Join in 15 minutes before the event kicks off for a quick zoom tutorial.

TRIVIA HAPPY HOUR. 6 P.M. FRIDAY, JUNE 26.

n LIFESTORY WRITING

2 p.m. Tuesday, June 23, boulderjcc.org.

Lifestory Writing Groups offer an opportunity for you to write — and share — your life stories in a group setting. This two-hour workshop will introduce you to free-writing and sharing your life and experiences. Contact Jean Unger: lifestoryjean@gmail.com. Price: $25 — Zoom link will be emailed once registration is complete

n BOULDER COUNTY JUNTEENTH CELEBRATION June 19-21.

This three-day series will address racerelation reconciliation. Registration on eventbrite: https://bit.ly/2N2OOSb - June 19, 4-7 p.m.: Flow & Feast: Yoga flow followed by culturally relevant meal and discussion, Cave Girl Coffee, 720 100 Year Party Court, Longmont - June 20, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.: Inner work for inclusivity and race relations reconciliation workshop, Cave Girl Coffee - June 21: 11 a.m.-2 p.m.: Father’s Day BBQ, Thompson Park, Longmont

culture. First, second and third place winners will win prizes. To RSVP, contact Juan Moreno at jmoreno@outboulder.org.

LONGMONT PRIDE MOTORCADE. 9 A.M. SATURDAY, JUNE 27.

Decorate your cars, wear your favorite pride gear and ride down Main Street. Cars begin gathering at our designated meeting point at 9 a.m. The motorcade will officially run from 9:30-10:30 a.m. RSVP at outboulder.org.

LONGMONT PRIDE VIRTUAL PERFORMANCES. NOON. SATURDAY, JUNE 27.

Enjoy a jam-packed 60 minutes of musical acts, speakers and more from the comfort of your own home. Featuring: Mexican Folkloric Dance Troupe; Marcie Smith; Colorado Bhangra Team; Card Catalog; and Jessica L’Whor.

Join in on Zoom to answer trivial about films that have made a significant impact in queer

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JUNE 18, 2020

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

HEAVY

ROTATION Dance like your life depends on it

Five new tracks to kick off your summer

By Caitlin Rockett n ‘SPACE SAMBA (DISCO VOLADOR THEME),’ BY THE ORIELLES

Though released in February, “Space Samba” screams summer from the first sun-bleached, flanged-out strum of Henry Carlyle Wade’s guitar. Blending funk, rock, disco and samba, the British four-piece creates a bright-eyed dance track that feels like it was plucked from the ’90s, given a Queer Eye-attention-to-detail makeover and unleashed on an unsuspecting 2020. “Disco volador” translates, literally, to “flying disc,” which the band says reflects “both feelings of flight and motion and the notion of human connectivity.”

n ‘FUTURE TOYI TOYI,’ BY KELEKETLA! FEATURING TONY ALLEN, TENDERLONIOUS, SOUNDZ OF THE SOUTH (SOS) AND DJ MABHEKO MUSIC Keleketla! is a collaborative musical project between British electronic duo Coldcut and a cadre of South African musicians. “Toyi toyi” is a rhythmic, stomping dance long used in political protests in South Africa; the movement united millions of black South Africans during antiapartheid demonstrations, a weapon of sorts to intimidate police forces. This track — featuring the late, great Afrobeat drummer Tony Allen (a longtime member of Fela Kuti’s band) — places a revolutionary chant by hip-hop activists Soundz of the South over the minimalist, heavy bass of a gqom track by Durban producer DJ Mabheko. “Keleketla,” by the way, is a Sesotho and Setswana word which means “to participate,” as in get out there and keep making noise until things change.

n ‘SUNSHINE,’ BY ROMARE British DJ Archie Fairhurst studied African American visual culture as a university student

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

— his stage name is a nod to African American artist Romare Bearden, whose work in collage and photomontage inspired a young Fairhurst to take a similar approach with his music.

“When you mix sound from different genres, cultures, continents or time periods,” Fairhurst told online magazine Huck, “that’s where you can create some real magic. That’s what makes it such a great way to get people to lose their prejudices.” They say sunshine is the best disinfectant, right? With deep bass and plucky synths, this track begs you to close your eyes, throw your fist in the air and dance like your life depends on it.

n ‘KITCHEN SINK,’ BY NADINE SHAH Nadine Shah’s husky voice leads you through this dark, minimal and driving song about being an outsider. The British singer cut her teeth in London singing in the Pizza Express Jazz Club in Soho, and studied art at university. Shah’s lyrics are refreshingly straight-forward: “Don’t you worry about what the neighbours think / They’re characters from kitchen sink / Forget about the can’t witches / Go sip and bunch of boring bitches.” In 2013 she told The Quietus that she’s inspired by the poetry of Phillip Larkin and the art of Frida Kahlo: “Frida Kahlo had a brutal honesty about her — almost too brutal of an honesty.”

n ‘EVE,’ BY SARAH JAROSZ The spacious vocals on this lead single from Sarah Jarosz’ new album, World on the Ground, are a perfect vehicle for the tale of a young woman who wanders off one evening to explore both the Texas land of her home and the landscape of her own mind. Jarosz’ new album is full of “name songs:” “Maggie,” “Johnny,” “Eve.” “Before this record, I had only written about myself and my feelings,” Jarosz told The Current. “Picking names opened that door to make up stories and to make them real by putting a name to it.” see EVENTS Page 18

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JUNE 18, 2020

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17

EVENTS from Page 17

NOW OPEN

Home viewing

Silent clowns by Michael J. Casey IT’S MID-JUNE, which means we ought to be full swing into Chautauqua’s Summer of Silents — the annual celebration of cinema sans dialogue. And whether they’re accompanied by the incomparable Hank Troy or the impressive Mont Alto Motion Picture Orchestra, spending a warm summer evening in the grand Chautauqua barn with the sparkling images of the early-20th century is a thing of beauty. Hopefully, we’ll convene again next summer to continue the tradition. But in the meantime there’s plenty of silent cinema streaming out there to scratch the itch. Here are four comedies to start with because, frankly, we could use a laugh.

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THE GOLD RUSH Made in 1925, Charlie Chaplin’s greatest comedy is also his most recognizable. From the Little Tramp (Chaplin) woefully underdressed in the Klondike to hunger so intense he envisions his cabin-mate as a large roast chicken. But it’s the dance of the dinner rolls that has etched this film into the history books. When aspiring writer/producer/director Michael Powell saw the movie in France, he remembers the audience loving it so much they demanded the projectionist stop the film, roll it back and play the scene again. The projector obliged, and the young wanna-be filmmaker realized the importance of a real showstopper. Twenty years later, he would give the world his version in The Red Shoes. Streaming on The Criterion Channel, HBO Max and Kanopy.

SAFETY LAST! Harold Lloyd’s Glasses character was a real gogetter. The middle-class boy next door could accomplish anything he put his mind to. And it made him immensely popular with the rah-rah-rah mentality of the Roaring Twenties. 1923’s Safety Last! might be his best, and funniest, showing off skills in pantomime and daredevil theatrics. The first half of the film finds Lloyd working behind the counter in a chaotic department store — it’s a cyclone of women fighting for bolts of fabric and Lloyd’s attention. The second half of the movie finds Lloyd clinging to the outside of that store, inadvertently free climbing it as a stunt to drum up business. Everything imaginable gets in his way: Clocks, windows, robes, poles, ladders, pigeons… It’s a riot. Streaming on The Criterion Channel and HBO Max. THE GENERAL Chaplin was the tramp, Lloyd was the go-getter, and Buster Keaton was the Great Stone Face. He was unflappable, no matter how hard he got hit or how hard he fell. The General is his best, and maybe the greatest American movie ever made. It’s a Civil War comedy, with Keaton as the conductor of The General locomotive, a sought-after engine constantly under siege. Keaton keeps the motor running, no matter what. The movie is one death-defying stunt piece after another, and each is jaw-dropping by even today’s standards. Streaming on Amazon Prime and Kanopy.

BIG BUSINESS Duo Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were among the few who successfully navigated the transition from silent to sound comedy, but their silent shorts remain their high-water mark. One of their best — at least available on streaming; Battle of the Century is a masterpiece but nowhere to be found — Big Business from 1929 finds the duo as door-to-door Christmas tree salesmen who call on a chap who really doesn’t want a Christmas tree. Things escalate slowly, and then very quickly, until Laurel and Hardy’s patented mayhem draws the attention of the neighborhood and a police officer.

The two specialized in a brand of anarchy only The Muppets could mimic four decades later. Streaming on Amazon Prime.

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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No such thing

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Fate rides on fiery tracks as the warmth of the flame

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creeps from underneath the door tell me one thing, darling is it everything you imagined it to be?

Before all hell breaks loose let the bride and groom touch lips and serve the dinner plates to our esteemed company, dressed in fine linens and embroidered hats, as the pigs are led to slaughter and the young busser pours water When all hell breaks loose I will bite my lips and clench my fists but first bring the devil before me I’d like to look him in the eyes and say, “No such thing as fate.”

After all’s said and done trumpets sound in revelry the dead dance in their wicked symposium and victory and defeat share the same bitter flavor

Patrick McGuire is an amateur writer living in Estes Park.

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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JUNE 18, 2020

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JUNE 18, 2020

by Michal J. Casey

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ON THE BILL: ‘The Cameraman’ is available on Blu-ray and DVD from The Criterion Collection.

n April 23, 1917, Buster Keaton cuffed Keaton with insipid plots and weak made his theatrical debut in scripts, restricted his ability to do his own Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle’s The stunts and paired him with comedic foils Butcher Boy. Three years later, that went together like peanut butter and Keaton would strike out on his sardines. And Keaton was slipping down own, producing one comic short after the the bottle, further dulling his ability to keep other. Three years after that, Keaton made up. In 1933, MGM cut Keaton loose. It the leap to feature films under his own took only four years to bankrupt the Great independent production company. All are Stone Face. comedic works of art, arguably some of In between the peak and the fall came the best movies ever made.

1928’s The Cameraman, Keaton’s first But in the 1920s, they failed to generfilm for MGM and the last one where he ate money. Keaton’s budgets were enorhad any control. Keaton plays Buster, a mous, and the small-time phoTHE CRITERION COLLECTION movies could tographer who not recoup falls for Sally costs. In 1927’s (Marceline The General — Day), a secreconsidered by tary at a newsmany to be his room. Smitten, greatest work Buster pawns (featured on his tintype page 18) — camera for a Keaton drove a newsreel verlocomotive over sion and hits a collapsing the streets bridge for the looking for a movie’s climax. story. If he Producer lands the gig at Joseph Schenck pleaded with Keaton to the newsroom, he’ll also land Sally as his get costs down so they could make some belle. money. Keaton relented, and his next film, In typical Keaton fashion, Buster fails Steamboat Bill, Jr. started as a cut-anduntil he suddenly succeeds. Equally typidried story of family miscommunication. cal, everyone laughs in his face except for The Schenck-approved budget came in at the girl. But Keaton keeps on keeping on, $200,000, but then Keaton got an idea: and each of his set pieces — from a baseStage a cyclone for the movie’s third act. ball game in Yankee Stadium with Keaton Airplanes were brought in to provide wind, playing all the parts, to a partnership with houses were collapsed en masse, and Josephine, a capuchin monkey — The Keaton was knocked about in one specCameraman is a wonder of Rube tacular storm. It’s unparalleled, but it also Goldberg set-up and execution. cost another $200,000. When Steamboat When Keaton fell from grace in the Bill, Jr. was released in May 1928, it made early 1930s, so too did his movies. Cheap, squat. scratchy prints circulated, scenes got cut Schenck had enough. He sold Keaton out or mistakenly lost, and many of the and the company to his brother Nicholas original negatives were destroyed in a fire.

Schenck, an executive at MGM, for the Rescuing and restoring these films — princely sum of $3,000 a week (roughly often cobbled together from multiple ele$44,000 in today’s money). Keaton, who ments — requires Herculean efforts. was as frugal with his own money as he Thankfully, The Criterion Collection partwas with his budgets, took the offer but nered with the Cineteca di Bologna and later claimed, “It was the worst mistake of Warner Brothers to bring The Cameraman my life.” back to its full glory.

MGM was The Tiffany Studio, full of In a year where home viewing has glitz and glam, and “more stars than there become the only option for moviegoing, are in heaven.” It was also the studio Criterion continues to raise the bar, rescuing where comedy went to die. MGM handclassic after classic from the dustbin.

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: My Aries friend Lavinia told

me, “The fight I’m enjoying most lately is my fight to resist the compulsion to fight.” I invite you to consider adopting that attitude for the foreseeable future. Now and then, you Rams do seem to thrive on conflict, or at least use it to achieve worthy deeds — but the coming weeks will not be one of those times. I think you’re due for a phase of sweet harmony. The more you cultivate unity and peace and consensus, the healthier you’ll be. Do you dare act like a truce-maker, an agreement-broker, and a connoisseur of rapport?

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: “The answers you get depend

upon the questions you ask,” wrote physicist and philosopher Thomas Kuhn. That’s always true, of course, but it’s especially true for you right now. I recommend that you devote substantial amounts of your earthy intelligence to the task of formulating the three most important questions for you to hold at the forefront of your awareness during the rest of 2020. If you do, I suspect you will ultimately receive answers that are useful, interesting and transformative.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20: “A finished person is a boring

person,” writes author Anna Quindlen. I agree! Luckily, you are quite unfinished, and thus not at all boring — especially these days. More than ever before, you seem willing to treat yourself as an art project that’s worthy of your creative ingenuity — as a work-in-progress that’s open to new influences and fresh teachings. That’s why I say your unfinishedness is a sign of good health and vitality. It’s delightful and inspiring.

You’re willing to acknowledge that you’ve got a lot to learn and more to grow. In fact, you celebrate that fact; you exult in it; you regard it as a key part of your ever-evolving identity.

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22: “To hell with pleasure that’s haunted

reevaluate what you choose to focus on.

Why? Because some people, issues, situations and experiences may not be worthy of your intense care and involvement, and you will benefit substantially from redirecting your fine intelligence in more rewarding directions. To empower your efforts, study these inspirational quotes: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”

—philosopher Simone Weil.

“Attention is the natural prayer of the soul.” —philosopher Nicolas Malebranche.

SCORPIO

OCT. 23-NOV. 21: Scorpio poet Marianne Moore’s

poem “O To Be a Dragon” begins with the fantasy, “If I, like Solomon, could have my wish ... ” What comes next? Does Moore declare her desire to be the best poet ever? To be friends with smart, interesting, creative people? To be admired and gossiped about for wearing a tricorn hat and black cape as she walked around Greenwich Village near her home? Nope.

None of the above. Her wish: “O to be a dragon, a symbol of the power of Heaven — of silk-worm size or immense; at times invisible. Felicitous phenomenon!”

In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to be inspired by Moore in the coming weeks. Make extravagant wishes for lavish and amusing powers, blessings, and fantastic possibilities.

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22-DEC. 21: “Poems, like dreams, are a sort of

royal road to the unconscious,” writes author Erica Jong. “They tell you what your secret self cannot express.” I invite you to expand that formula so it’s exactly suitable for you in the coming weeks. My sense is that you are being called to travel the royal road to your unconscious mind so as to discover what your secret self has been unable or unwilling to express. Poems and dreams might do the trick for you, but so might other activities. For example: sexual encounters between you and a person you respect and love; or an intense night of listening to music that cracks open the portal to the royal road. Any others?

What will work best for you?

LEO

AQUARIUS

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: Vincent van Gogh’s painting

“The Starry Night” is one of the world’s most treasured paintings. It has had a prominent place in New York’s Museum of Modern Art since 1941. If it ever came up for sale it would probably fetch over $100 million.

But soon after he created this great masterpiece, van Gogh himself called it a “failure.” He felt the stars he’d made were too big and abstract. I wonder if you’re engaging in a comparable underestimation of your own. Are there elements of your life that are actually pretty good, but you’re not giving them the credit and appreciation they deserve? Now’s a good time to reconsider and reevaluate.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: Now is a favorable time to make

adjustments in how you allocate your attention — to

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

All credit cards accepted No text messages

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DEC. 22-JAN. 19: “We must combine the toughness

of the serpent and the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart.” Capricorn hero Martin Luther King Jr. said that, and now I’m conveying it to you. In my astrological opinion, his formula is a strategy that will lead you to success in the coming weeks.

It’ll empower you to remain fully open and receptive to the fresh opportunities flowing your way, while at the same time you’ll remain properly skeptical about certain flimflams and delusions that may superficially resemble those fresh opportunities.

walk in nature, sing your five favorite songs from beginning to end, allowing yourself to fully feel all the emotions those tunes arouse in you. Experiment #2: Before you go to sleep on each of the next 11 nights, ask your dreams to bring you stories like those told by the legendary Scheherazade, whose tales were so beautiful and engaging that they healed and improved the lives of all those who heard them. Experiment #3: Gaze into the mirror and make three promises about the gratifying future you will create for yourself during the next 12 months.

Call 720.253.4710

CAPRICORN

by fear,” wrote Cancerian author Jean de La Fontaine.

I’ll make that one of my prayers for you in the coming weeks. It’s a realistic goal you can achieve and install as a permanent improvement in your life. While you’re at it, work on the following prayers, as well: 1. To hell with bliss that’s haunted by guilt. 2. To hell with joy that’s haunted by worry. 3. To hell with breakthroughs that are haunted by debts to the past. 4. To hell with uplifts that are haunted by other people’s pessimism.

JULY 23-AUG. 22: Experiment #1: As you take a

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SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESS We’re all in this together.

JAN. 20-FEB. 18: “If it makes you nervous — you’re

doing it right,” says the daring musician and actor Donald Glover. Personally, I don’t think that’s true in all situations. I’ve found that on some occasions, my nervousness stems from not being fully authentic or being less than completely honest. But I do think Glover’s formula fully applies to your efforts in the coming weeks, Aquarius. I hope you will try new things that will be important to your future, and/or work to master crucial skills you have not yet mastered. And if you’re nervous as you carry out those heroic feats, I believe it means you’re doing them right.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: Piscean author Patricia

Hampl understands a lot about the epic tasks of trying to know oneself and be oneself. She has written two memoirs, and some of her other writing draws from her personal experiences, as well. And yet she confesses, “Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.” She suggests that it’s often easier to be someone you’re not; to adopt the ways of other people as your own; to imitate what you admire rather than doing the hard work of finding out the truth about yourself. That’s the bad news, Pisces. The good news is that this year has been and will continue to be a very favorable time to ripen into the acquired taste of being yourself. Take advantage of this ripening opportunity in the coming weeks!

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Caffè Sole has been doing great work during the pandemic, raising funds from the community in order to prepare and deliver 3,400 meals to the Sister Carmen Community Center. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, as the community donations allowed Caffè Sole to keep its doors open while those in need got meals. About these meals — we chose the black bean burger from the restaurant’s menu of sandwiches, salads and more on a recent visit. Served on a pressed brioche bun, the vegan burger puts other plantbased substitutes to shame with its earthy flavor and substantial chew. The salsa roja, pico de gallo, avocado and mixed greens on top are fresh and vibrant.

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1 n Drink this: Oskar Blues Brewery’s Slow Chill Munich-style Helles THE MOST RECENT addition to Oskar Blues’ European-inspired lager series, Slow Chill, is a classic Munich-style helles: Pale straw color with a slight chill haze, a rocky head of foam and a sweet mouth of cereal grains. There’s enough of a hop presence to keep the brew from tipping toward sickly sweet, and the crisp, clean lager finish makes it an ideal quaff for a toasty afternoon. And at 5% ABV, you can knock back a couple and still keep your wits about you this Father’s Day. More lager recommendations for Pop on page 25.

BOULDER WEEKLY

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n Flagstaff House reopens with new menu FLAGSTAFF HOUSE reopened at its iconic spot in the foothills this week with a new menu from Executive Chef/Partner Chris Royster.

The new menu includes Spanish octopus puttanesca, with crispy potatoes, castelveltrano olives, white anchovies and sweet peppers, and country-style venison torchon with cornichons, house pickles, whole-grain Dijon mustard and brioche toast. There’s also an allnew cocktail menu with modern takes on classic drinks. Both the three-course menu and the multi-course Chef’s Tasting Menu have undergone revisions.

JUNE 18, 2020

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JUNE 18, 2020

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

Lagers for Father

How lager saved the American drinker

Beers to cheers dear old Dad

by Michael J. Casey

F

rench biologist Louis Pasteur associated with the boys of summer had five children. That means and dear old Dad mowing the lawn. he would be treated to five ice It should be nice this Father’s Day, cream cones, five bad ties and highs in the mid-80s with plenty of sunfive cans of beer if he were alive shine. Perfect for a picnic and an ideal for Father’s Day this Sunday. He would opportunity to bring Dad something also be 198 years old. His brood would tasty to quaff. Here are three found at be relatively about the same, so the all your better liquor stores. Cheers. chances are none of MICHAEL J. CASEY them would have any use for a tie, or could properly digest ice cream or a glass of beer. But, there it is.

The Pasteur connection isn’t arbitrary: He’s the one who discovered — in a scientific sense — yeast.

And lager yeast, Saccharomyces pastorianus, was named in his honor. And not for nothing, lager is the king of beers and has been for some time.

Typically low in alcohol (4.2-5.5% ABV) and featuring a brilliant shade of yellow (from pale straw to Upslope Brewing Company’s goldenrod), lager highlights malt over Craft Lager: When Upslope hit the hops, water over yeast, and drinkability scene in late-2008, it started canning over all else. There are exceptions, out of the gate. Canning craft beer at legions of them: Pilsners tend to be the time wasn’t new, but it certainly hoppier, Vienna lagers tend to exhibit wasn’t the norm. Then, in 2010, the biscuity characteristics, while bocks company introduced its fourth label: (strong lagers) bring a fusel charge to Craft Lager. Again, craft breweries makthe palate. ing lager wasn’t novel, but it was far But now we are getting into maifrom routine. But Upslope’s Craft Lager bock, doppelbock and eisbock territory, was different: Elegantly simple and and not the easy drinkers commonly magnificently consistent. It didn’t take

long for Craft Lager to become Upslope’s number-one seller. And if you ask any brewer around the county to name one of their favorites, Craft Lager is mentioned time and time again.

Ska Brewing’s Mexican Logger: The translucent pale yellow hue should be enough to let you know that this one is going to go down smooth. And with a whiff of lime, a backbone of sweet malt, and a clean finish, Ska’s Mexicanstyle lager is about as refreshing as it gets.

And the bitterness from the tangy Saaz hops pricks high up on the gums while the malt coats the palate, making it the ideal pair for spicy cuisine. Or salted peanuts. Or another Mexican Logger.

Avery Brewing Co.’s Stampede: A few years ago, Adam Avery decided to make an easydrinking lager to get his brew crew off “yellow-bellies,” (i.e., Coors Banquet).

That led to Avery Lager, light and easy, but probably more malt-forward than wanted. Then came Avery Stampede, a perfectly balanced, low-ABV, highly consumable golden lager that goes down as refreshing as the Rocky Mountain spring water it’s made with.

Drink cold on hot days, and it’ll feel like home.

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stablished in 1516, the Reinheitsgebot was the Bavarian decree that beer could only be made with barley, hops and water.

When yeast was discovered 150 years later, it became the fourth ingredient.

Dubbed “the German purity law,” the Reinheitsgebot might be the first set of governmental food safety regulations and one that was dearly needed.

Before the Reinheitsgebot, brewers made beer with anything they could find, even if the ingredients were harmful, as long as they were cheap. After the decree, Bavarian drinkers were assured that when they ordered a beer, no funny business was in the glass.

Few beer styles took to the Reinheitsgebot like lager. And when Bavarians immigrated to the U.S in the mid-1800s, they brought lagers with them, revolutionizing the American drinking scene, which was littered with poorly made ales and rotgut whiskey.

Lager is clean, crisp, and transparent. And with a low ABV, workers could drink it throughout the day without falling down drunk halfway through. When the country began the march toward Prohibition, many brewers tried to position their lagers as healthy substitutes to demon gin and whiskey. Ban the spirits, but don’t ban the beer.

It didn’t work. Prohibition became federal law in 1920 (1907 in Boulder), but that’s another story entirely.

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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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JUNE 18, 2020

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SUSAN FRANCE

Return to service

Sushi Zanmai opens for in-house dining with an emphasis on safety and comfort

by Matt Cortina

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here was a reason for all the platitudes during the coronavirus-related shutdowns — “We’re all in this together,” “Together, apart,” etc.

What we missed most while staying at home was community, and blathering talking heads on the TV and internet — our only portal to the world outside — weren’t cutting it.

Of course, we could’ve gotten some of that communal goodness from sitting and dining in one of our local restaurants, strangers and friends nearby, but that was off-limits until only recently.

Now we’re allowed back in (with safety requirements in place), and even though we have to talk through masks and sit apart from other groups, it’s a welcome step in the right direction.

At least it is for Younghye Kim, general manager at Sushi Zanmai, who has worked at the Boulder restaurant since 1987. Sushi Zanmai reopened on June 17, and Kim is eager to welcome back staff and guests who have become dear to her.

“We do have a strong connection and friendliness. I always like to see [guests], and they like to see me,” Kim says. “I see four generations coming in through the door at the same time and I know them from [previous visits]. I know a lot of people by faces and names; they recognize me as part of their lives. We have a mutual friendliness by now.”

During the shutdown, Sushi Zanmai

had to-go offerings, but it wasn’t the same as welcoming a guest to its sushi bar or cozy dining room. There were little (nonliteral) touches of hospitality that kept Kim and the staff connected to patrons and those will continue to connect them in the coming weeks.

“Because you’re wearing a mask, it’s hard to see the expression on other faces,” Kim says. “But at Japanese restaurants, we like to bow. That shows friendliness, and we’re used to doing it.

People will kind of recognize it.”

The pivot to takeout for the last several months worked for some restaurants, others not so much. Sushi Zanmai and its sister restaurant, Izakaya Amu, made it work.

“Some days were very slow, some days were busy. It was hard to predict,” Kim says, adding, “It’s been better than what we expected.”

But if there was any doubt — and certainly we all had concerns — that folks would come back when in-house dining reopened, it was quelled when Izakaya Amu reopened last week and regulars were ready for seating. That desire to be part of the community is strong, Kim thinks.

“They come in because they just want to interact and socialize,” Kim says.

But in-house dining is going to be different, no doubt. The atmosphere at Sushi Zanmai has always been abundantly warm, with sushi chefs welcoming guests

JUNE 18, 2020

in and out, tables nestled close by, folks making friends at the sushi bar. There will be a period of adaptation, Kim says.

“Customers sit at the bar, so with social distancing, it’s going to be hard to socialize as intimately,” Kim says. “A lot of times people like to talk to people next to them. One person, couples come in, and they socialize with other people. That’s going to be hard and not going to happen for a while. It is important to keep social distancing, but now because everybody has to wear masks, it’s going to be hard to hear who they’re talking to.”

That may be frustrating for some diners who impatiently want things to return to normal, and try to will progress by not following the rules. But Kim hopes new and returning guests can see the forest for the trees and play nice.

“I hope customers who are not used to us, how we do it, follow and respect us, and try to be safe for our employees. They should respect [others] and wear masks and sanitize their hands and be kind to us,” she says.

And in return, you’ll get a staff that’s committed to making the dining out experience as comfortable as it can be — as close to the time before the coronavirus as possible.

“We want to bring back the same goodness as before,” Kim says. “I want [guests] to feel relieved and comfortable and not have to worry about anything.”

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BOULDER WEEKLY

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to tell your wife about the handful/mouthful of times you messed around with another guy in high school. If you’re like most Dear Dan: I’m a 32-year-old straight straight guys with one or two cocks in guy. My wife and I have been married for your past, NOHOMO, I’m guessing you four years and together for nine. We have didn’t tell the wife because you didn’t want a great marriage and all is well. We have her to feel insecure or spend all her free been quarantining at home since March. time corresponding with advice columnists During this time, we have been exploring about whether her husband is secretly things sexually, which has been really fun. gay.

We have also been talking more about In fairness to the wife, NOHOMO, not our kinks and fantasies. One thing my every woman whose straight-identified wife really wants to try is an male partner admits to a litROMAN ROBINSON MMF threesome. I’ve tle same-sex messing agreed and she’s been talkaround worries her boyfriend ing about how hot it will be or husband is going to leave to make this happen once her for a dude or all the quarantine is over. She is dudes. But this worry is particularly turned on by the common enough to be fact that this would be my something of cliché. A first sexual experience with straight guy doesn’t even another guy. The only issue have to admit to having is, in reality, it won’t be. The sucked one dick one time truth is that when I was in for his wife or girlfriend to high school, a guy friend worry he’s secretly gay; I get and I fooled around a few at least one letter every day times. I have no regrets but those experifrom a woman who’s worried her husband ences only served to reaffirm that I preis gay because he likes to have his nipples ferred women. I never did anything with played with or his butt touched or because another guy and I never felt the need to he has feelings. So while it’s not ideal that mention these early experiences to my straight-or-mostly-straight guys don’t feel wife. She just assumed I had never had a they can be honest with their wives about same-sex encounter. Now I feel like I’ve their long ago and far away same-sex misled her or lied to her somehow. Should experimentation, NOHOMO, it’s underI tell her the truth or just let her believe standable that many straight guys err on our MMF threesome would be my first the side of keeping that shit to themselves. time with a guy?

But your question isn’t, “Why didn’t I —Nervously Omitted Homosexual tell her then?”, but rather, “Should I tell Occurrences, Mostly Oral her now?” And I don’t think you have to.

She wasn’t harmed by this omission — Dear NOHOMO: If your wife reads you didn’t deprive her of information she my column, NOHOMO, then you’ve just was entitled to — and disclosing now told her the truth and the advice that folwould only serve to deprive her of somelows is moot. So here’s hoping she thing, i.e., the excitement she feels about doesn’t read my column: You don’t have being there to witness what she thinks is

BY DAN SAVAGE

BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE

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your first same-sex encounter.

Dear Dan: My wife questions my use of the word gay as being potentially offensive and I’d like to get your take. I’m male and my male friends like to flirt and joke about performing sex acts on each other.

We’ve never actually carried through with it but I consider myself on the “spectrum” and might be open to gay sex. My male friends and I say we’re being or acting gay (though we’re all practicing heterosexuals) and this is where my wife takes issue. For example, I might say, “We’re so gay!”, in our conversations, but the word is used in a positive way. My wife makes the point that the word has a history of being used negatively, so may be considered offensive, and should only be used casually by people who are more legit gay. Should I stop using the word gay this way?

—Gay Poser Dear GP: Jesus, just suck off one of your male friends already — just get it over with — and then you have my permission to keep using “gay” as a compliment, GP. Dear Dan: I’m a 35-year-old seemingly straight man, but in the past year — roughly corresponding with the longest sex drought in the history of my adulthood — I have had recurring wet dreams where I suck myself off. Probably a dozen or so of these dreams, all up, and I very much enjoy both sides of the transaction. What do you think it means? Am I witnessing the stirrings of some latent bisexuality or am I just desperate? Should I heed the call?

—Originally Unilateral Regarding Oral But Oneiromancy Reveals Opening Sexuality Dear OUROBOROS: I usually don’t allow elaborate signoffs, OUROBOROS, but I’m making an exception for yours

JUNE 18, 2020

because it’s brilliant. (To save my other readers the trouble of googling: “oneiromancy” is the interpretation of dreams to predict the future and an “ouroboros” is an image of a snake swallowing its own tail, often used as an infinity symbol.) That said, I’m not sure there’s really any call to heed here — other than a call to start doing the kind of stretching that would allow you to suck your own cock if you were 1. to get limber enough and 2. your cock is long enough. But a desire to suck one’s own cock — or even an attempt, successful or not — doesn’t mean a man is latently bisexual or gay. I assume you’ve been masturbating for more than two decades, OUROBOROS, and just as there’s nothing gay about all those handjobs you’ve given yourself, there’s nothing gay about the blowjobs you can only dream about giving yourself.

Dear Readers: This is gonna feel a little weird stuck onto the end of this week’s column, I realize, but I wanted to say something about protests all over the country and the world. While I haven’t been able to personally attend a Black Lives Matters protest over the last two weeks — I have deeply shitty lungs and I’m concerned about contracting coronavirus — I fully support everyone who has taken to the streets to protest the violence of systemic racism and the specific violence inflicted on the black people by racist cops. And while I can’t be at the protests, my husband and I made a donation to bail funds across the country to help out people who were arrested at them.

(You can donate at actblue.com/donate/ bailfunds.) Please keep marching, please wear your masks (they work!), and please — please — make sure you and everyone you know is registered to vote.

Send questions to mail@savagelove. net, follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage and visit ITMFA.org.

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Want to avoid a pre-employment drug test? Look for work at the top

by Paul Danish

O

K, you smoke pot. And you need a job. Are you wondering which jobs are least likely to involve having to pass a drug test?

Well the folks at the Statistic Brain Research Institute (Statisticbrain.com) wondered too, so they dug up some data. Here’s a list of some of the positions — high and low — for which job applicants are least likely to be tested for drug use, according to a piece posted at Weed News.

Managerial positions: Including corporate general managers, business managers, project managers and office managers with salaries ranging from $40K to $100K; only 1-2% of them had to pee to get work. Rank hath its privilege.

IT jobs: Only about 3% of developer, web designer and IT consultant jobs required drug testing.

‘Creative’ jobs: Fewer than 4% of graphic designers, marketing staff, artists and copywriters are drug tested. “Companies apparently believe it’s better not to ask where all that creativity comes from,” Weed News writer Johnny Baldwin dryly remarked.

Financial services: Nearly anyone can work in real estate without taking a drug test. Insurance agents and loan processors are slightly more likely to be tested. Major banks are more likely to require testing.

Entertainment: Screenwriters, producers, stagehands and makeup artists usually can find jobs that don’t come with a drug test, although the more “corporate” the employer the more likely one might be required. “If you’re one of the performers? It’s almost expected that you’ll come up dirty,” adds Baldwin.

Freelancing: Well, duh.

Down at the lower end of the employment food chain, fast food franchises hardly ever drug test, even though some claim they do.

Most beauty salons and spas don’t test their employees. Moreover, many stylists, nail techs, mas-

sage therapists and estheticians work as freelancers.

Unskilled jobs like dog-walking, pizza delivery, cutting grass, and custodial work are less likely to require testing.

• • • • The feds are still doing their best to make life hard

for scientists who want to study the effects of marijuana on users, but some intrepid CU researchers have found a way to study pot without running afoul of the federal dummkopfs.

According to a University of Colorado news release, the feds prohibit researchers from handling or administering marijuana to research subjects, even in states that have legalized either medical or recreational pot (or both like Colorado).

CU researchers got around this by outfitting vans as mobile labs, dubbed “cannavans,” which they drove to the homes of their research subjects. The subjects used cannabis, either flower or concentrate, that they purchased on their own and consumed in their homes before walking out to the vans for tests.

Sheeesh.

Clunky as the process sounds, it produced some interesting and unexpected results, which were reported in a paper published in the June 10 issue of JAMA Psychiatry.

The 121 research subjects (aka stoners), were asked to obtain either 16-24% THC flower or 70-90% THC concentrate.

Members of both groups were blood tested before, directly after and an hour after inhaling.

As expected, the group using concentrate had about twice as much THC in their blood (1,016 micrograms per milliliter a few minutes after use) than the group smoking flower (455 micrograms per milliliter).

“While we saw striking differences in blood levels between the two groups, they were similarly impaired,” said Cinnamon Bidwell, an assistant professor in the Institute of Cognitive Science and lead author of the paper.

“People in the high concentration group were much less compromised than we thought they were going to be,” said coauthor Kent Hutchison, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at CU who also studies alcohol addiction. “If we gave people that high a concentration of alcohol it would have been a different story.”

Among the possible explanations the researchers offered for the findings was the possibility that once THC molecules fill the receptors in the brain that spark intoxication, additional THC molecules have little impact.

Whatever the reason, the fact that there is a limit to how high someone can get no matter how much pot he or she inhales, could complicate roadside sobriety testing for marijuana, because unlike with alcohol, higher THC blood levels don’t necessarily mean higher levels of impairment Altogether now: More Research Is Necessary! And this time we mean it.

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