TUMMY TIME WITH TAMI

Not even the torrential rain that greeted us on what was supposed to be a “sun-shiny” photoshoot morning in Kingston, could dampen Tami’s pregnancy glow. As cliche as the ‘glow’ may be, take our word and check out for yourself just how much pregnancy ‘grees’ with the songstress who has become a household name – a sweetheart, if you will, who is loved and respected by so many. Join us as we spend a little...

TUMMY TIME with

TAMI By: Michelle Gordon and Claire Stewart Photography: Dwayne Watkins Makeup: Paul March Styling: Angelie Spencer Wardrobe: drennaLUNA

She’s married to ace DJ and entertainer Wayne Marshall, and step-mother to 7-year-old Giomar. Tami Chynn steps from behind the glitz and glamour of show business and introduces us to Tammar Annika

Chin-Mitchell, an easy-going, down-to-earth, girl next door. She disarmed us with a laugh so genuine, and an aura so sweet, it’s hard to believe that this is the same person who has transformed into diva-mode, and . rocked audiences worldwide. Tami is an entertainer, who embraced her roles on stage with the highest standards of professionalism. “I was born to perform”, she states. But now, as she prepares to welcome her firstborn, Tami is ready for her greatest performance yet. If being happy were the remedy for an easy delivery, then Tami is in for a treat! It’s hard to be around this lady and not laugh. And I’m not talking about a mild chuckle. You know the kind of laugh that makes your belly move? Well, that’s what I’m talking about. And if there’s any truth to what ‘they’ say about the transfer of emotions from mother to baby, then this little man here (it's a boy!) is bound to be one happy kid.

Guaranteed. And Tami has good reason to be happy.

“I’m married to an amazing man who allowed me to prepare for this moment in my life”. Tami speaks of her role as stepmother to Gio, as playing a defining part in making her ready to welcome and parent her own child. “I’ve learned life lessons about love, and patience and understanding, but above all, I’ve learned that happiness is a choice. We don’t always choose all the things that happen to us, but we can always choose how to react.”

ON BEING MOM

B3: Have you always wanted to have children?

Tami: Definitely! My mother was a stay-at-home mom, so it was always my dream to become a mother too. I grew up in a large family of 5 children, (three girls and two boys), and a million cousins - so there was lots of love and hugs to share. I would have started long ago, but I had plans that had to be fulfilled, and goals that I had to achieve. I’ve put a check in all those boxes, and now that I’ve started [to have children], I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. [insert belly laugh here]. Wayne says if we have more than three, they’ll have to homeschooled!

Were you ever scared about being a ‘stepmother’?

Oh yes! There’s a pre-conceived notion of the ‘evil step –mother’, and that was a scary thought. In the beginning I didn’t know where my relationship (with Wayne) was going, so yes, there were reservations. But Wayne and Regina, (Gio’s mom), gave me the chance to step into the role. It was drama-free, and continues to be a wonderful network of love and trust and cooperation. It’s a net that really works. [insert belly laugh]

ON BLENDING

From all appearances, you guys seem to be testament to a successful blended (and blending!) family. Has it always been so seamless having a relationship with the mother of Wayne’s firstborn, and developing your role as a step-mother?

If Regina wasn’t who she is, this couldn’t work, and that’s the truth. Gio is her child, and I have to respect that. And she too respects the fact that I am Wayne’s wife. It’s easy to expect ‘baby-mama-drama’, but Regina gave me a new model to look at. She has set a high bar for mothers who have to ‘share’ their children. I’m not telling anyone how to live their life, but if people take the focus off themselves and put it on the child, where it belongs, there’s a world of happiness to be had. When it comes to Gio, I speak to Regina more than I do Wayne. [insert that laugh again]

A successful story like that must have taken dedicated work on several sides, so what have been your biggest challenges as a blended family?

Scheduling! It can get confusing around here. Whose day is it for pick-up? Where are these shorts? I thought they were at your house! [belly laugh]. But seriously, in a family like ours, decisions aren’t made just by two people, so we have to communicate freely and often. Our common denominator is Gio, so we all have to make choices and decisions with his best interest at heart. And for me, being the step-mother, I have to know when to step back.

Talk to us a little about your relationship with Wayne. We’ve witnessed the obvious friendship and fire! (Wayne interrupted our photoshoot with a playful ‘unnu tek time with mi wife!’)

[starts with laugh this time] This is easy. We started out as friends; friends who had a common love for music, and a genuine respect for each other’s craft. Wayne is a ‘laugher’ like me, [you guessed it folks… insert belly laugh] so our friendship was built on laughter. He makes me laugh. A lot. It sustains us, and keeps us connected, and considering our careers, staying connected is a key component. We became bona fide friends whose love grew deeper with each encounter. I believe that’s where so many couples go wrong…. We’re not in love 24⁄7, but each day, we operate not just as man and wife, but from a friendship level. I like to say that I don’t just love him, I like him.

ON FATHERHOOD

When Wayne became a father, how did seeing him in that role affect you?

When Wayne became a Daddy, we weren’t yet dating, so I came into Gio’s life, not the other way around. [laugh] We were friends at the time, and I was very happy for him. He matured a lot, and if it wasn’t for Gio, I would not have known Wayne as I do now. I saw my friend embrace his role as a Dad like he was born to do it. He became his guardian and protector.

What kind of father is he?

Wayne is naturally a very caring man. But the moment he became a father, he became even more amazing. He sees himself in his son, and takes being involved to a whole new level. Gio and our baby, are very lucky to have Wayne as a daddy, and friend. He is very serious about the responsibility of parenting, and he’s keen on setting the best example of being a good man. Gio is at the age where he loves to ‘par wid Daddy’, and Wayne relishes the role.

You’re in the limelight and raising a family. How do you protect your private life from the public.

In the beginning it was hard. We were trying to get to know each other, and it was a little challenging with so many people having something to say. But we’re both pretty open, and honest, so we’ve been able to strike a good balance between what we share and what we keep private. It has become easy for us, because we feel the same way about the same things and we understand each other. Wayne knows my personality. Like when we found out about our pregnancy, he knew I just had to post pics and share my joy; and that was okay with him. If there’s something we opted to keep to ourselves, we decide that together. For Gio, and soon for our baby, we’re just a normal family – that won’t change.

ON BEING A STEP-MOM

Gio has been the centre of your attention for seven years. Are you and Wayne nervous about introducing him to his baby brother?

Early in the pregnancy we were a little nervous. But now, not at all. We have prepared Gio well, I think, so he’s super excited. He’s away for a bit and advised me recently that if he hears that the baby is coming, he’ll be there in a flash, “cause this naah miss me!”

How has your relationship with Gio evolved?

I’ve been a part of Gio’s life for as long as he can remember, so there’s nothing happening that’s out-of the-ordinary. The thing is, Gio is a very smart kid. I believe that our honesty and openness as a blended family make it easy for him to understand changes. He sees ‘other’ families, and knows that he is blessed to have two homes. Two well-adjusted homes – so this is his normal. He is about to become a big brother and right now, he’s as excited as can be.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE CHILDREN. I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, I KNOW THAT I AM GOING TO MISS BEING PREGNANT. MY PREGNANCY HAS BEEN A HUGE FULFILLMENT FOR ME, AND I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO MANY MORE. (Y’HEAR THAT WAYNE?)

What do you enjoy doing with him?

Everything. We love going to the movies. It’s a great date time for us, sometimes it’s just Gio and me, and sometimes it’s all of us. And I just love surprising him! He loves it. There’s something amazing about making a child happy, and you know how I feel about happy! [laugh] Gio is also a very witty kid. Chatting with him at night takes on a different dimension when Gio starts giving jokes. He’s very funny and very affectionate. I can’t wait for him to share with his brother!

You look like the super-cool mom who the children will run to when they need a yes. Are you?

hahhahahaha! Not at all! That’s Wayne. I’m the strict one. Gio, and his friends, [laughter continues] know not to mess with Aunty Tami. And baby will learn in short order too! Wayne is the yes-man, so by virtue of that, I do the homework, and the extra lessons, and the music practice… hmph! [laugh]

Can you imagine yourself being pregnant again, or is this one and done?

More like ‘guh hard and done’! [insert belly laugh]. I can’t wait for more children. I am so happy right now, I know that I am going to miss being pregnant. My pregnancy has been a huge fulfillment for me, and I’m looking forward to many more. (y’hear that Wayne?)

Leather Sofa: ARD2K

You have to go for the girl

now right?

You know what? I used to want a girl, but now, I think I’m definitely a boy-mom. I mean…I’ll take what I’m given, but three boys, and then maybe one girl sounds perfect!

ON MARRIAGE

You really planning to ‘live what you learn’! How much do you think your parents influenced your thinking today?

Oh man…a whole lot! My parents taught us [me and . my siblings] how to love. And though they’re divorced today, the lessons they taught us were not lost. The love they showed and taught us was a love based on respect and friendship. In loving another person, you learn that each person makes choices, and whether or not you like their choice, that should have no bearing on the love you have for them. Mom and Dad were best friends who recognised and accepted that they were better apart. That was their reality and it worked for them. My mother is now re-married, and my father is in a relationship, and they still speak almost every day. You can’t discount a solid friendship.

Did their divorce affect you?

Yes, I was happy because they were happy! They divorced about 5 years ago, so we (siblings) were all adults, and able to process the divorce sensibly.

Has your outlook on marriage been affected?

No. I really haven’t given it much thought, because I honestly respected their choices. In marriage, you don’t have to, and probably won’t agree on every single thing, but when it’s necessary, couples must learn to ‘agree to disagree’. And that’s a lesson well-learned in so many other areas of life. My parents met at 14, and now at age 63, being apart, they continue to teach us. I believe in new possibilities at every age and stage of life. The end of an era doesn’t have to mean the end.

How do you think baby’s arrival will change your relationship with Wayne?

You know, my mother in her wisdom, gave me some advice that I hold dear to my heart. She told me that she made the mistake of putting her children first. At first, I didn’t fully understand, but as we spoke further, it became clearer. She explained that after we all grew up, and out, she was left with a husband she no longer knew. I have vowed to keep my marriage alive. The truth is I’m about to fall in love with another guy here. [points to her tummy, and laughs of course]. It’s so easy to give love where we get it right back – from children. It’s easily reciprocated, and takes much less work than a relationship with a spouse. But those children won’t be there forever. I don’t want to be left with a vacant relationship with my husband after the children are gone. So for me, I definitely keep our love alive! Hmmm, I also want to say self first. Yes, self, then husband, children, then career. We feel selfish doing it, but then we neglect ourselves. A happy wife equals a happy life, right? Makes sense to me if I want to stay happily married. But it only works when the husband does the same.

ON STYLE

You’re an effortless fashionista, are you looking more forward to getting your little man styled sharply?

You know…I’m kind of old fashioned - I like to see a baby in diapers and that’s it. Kinda simple if you ask me. I mean, if we’re heading out, sure… he won’t be a baby for long, so nice little outfits will be in order, but when we’re home we’re in relax mode. We received tons of great gifts for the baby, including some super-duper outfits bought by Daddy, who obviously has an agenda. [DWL] The other day I had to ‘draw brakes’ on some of the shopping… “Bredrin…which dance yu want tek my pickney go? [belly laughter tun up here].

I can imagine. With both parents being hot steppers on the style scene, I don’t see where he’ll have much choice!

Not just us… Both of his Grandma’s are fashionistas. And my father! Now there’s a hottie. And my older sister – I was her dolly. So he’s in for some style lessons for sure. His saving grace will be Tess - she was the tomboy. [laughter]

ON SISTERLY LOVE

You and your sister Tessanne are really close - has your relationship changed since you became pregnant?

Apart from the fact that I have another set of hands touching my belly? No changes really. Tess and I are almost Irish twins. We’re very close in age – I was born in June, and she came along in September of the following year. We did everything together and have always supported each other from day one. When I found out I was expecting, Tess was my first call after Wayne. She’s so very happy for me. You’d think it was happening to her.

Are you worried about making time for each other once the baby arrives?

Worried? No. Tess will be here. She’s my rock, and I know she’ll be on spot as Aunty Tess, Sister Tess, Babysitter Tess…in every way. She’ll be here for me.

Have you started pressuring her for cousins for your son?

Tami: No. Tessanne is on a mission. She is very goal-oriented, and extremely focused. This is not her time for babies. This is her time to shine in her career, and shine she will! I like to say that she’s last, so she’ll have the babies last. [that laugh again]

Do you see your career changing after your baby is born?

Yes. It’s changed already. My career is not my main focus at the minute. It requires me to be up and about. Writing, in studio, traveling, the whole nine yards that comes with being an entertainer. I want to give my son a solid portion of my time. For now, I don’t want to be worried about getting back in shape in the shortest possible time, or scheduling tours. And to be honest, I think I’ve lost some desire. I realize I’m not just giving birth to a baby, but something else is being born. I not sure what’s next career-wise. There are times when it’s confusing for me because I’m passionate about my music. I really do love music, but I don’t love it enough. Even before my pregnancy, I felt it’s time for something else… We’ll see.

Tami’s Thoughts

Labour. How you feeling about that?!

Excited. Although, I encounter women every day who have advice to give me on this and that. They all want me to labour the way they did – drugs, no drugs… [hah] I’m doing my own thing, and very excited. I can’t wait!

What have been your pregnancy must haves?

Pepper. Liver. And large salads. I’ve been a complete carnivore or complete vegetarian. So spicy liver with a salad on the side – heaven!

Most beautiful things about being pregnant

Knowing that I made a baby!

Most downright ugly things about being pregnant

Skin breaking out. My feet have grown – ugh! They better shrink, cause I’ve got tons of shoes! My heavy breathing. – I’ve become

Darth Vader’!

What are you looking most forward to?

Seeing and holding my son for the first time.

Dreading the most?

Sleepless nights. I LOVE to sleep. I suspect I’m fighting a losing battle, so bring it on regardless.

One thing your fans out there don’t know about you which you want them to

I’m pretty open, so that’s tricky. They already know.

Top 3 tips for first time preggers?

Get maternity pants! Advice–givers mean well. Smile, nod, take what you want and leave what you don’t. Do you – your way and don’t stress.