15 minute read
DADS ON DUTY
By Michelle Gordon Photography: Dwayne Watkins Styling: Norma Williams Wardrobe: Max Brown Limited
Disengaged fatherhood has long been a source of discussion in many circles. While mothers have been the front-runners often carrying the weight of her family, real life experiences and numerous studies continue to affirm the important role of a father in the healthy development of children.
There is an increase of father participation in the lives of their children. Perhaps, a marginal gain on a global scale, but in the lives of the associated children, that’s a significant victory. It’s been a long time coming, but change is finally in effect. Today’s fathers are more involved and more passionate about parenting than ever before. Socioeconomic backgrounds aside, many fathers are standing up and being counted among those responsible for raising their children.
In this issue we venture into the dancehall and sit with 3 of Jamaica’s most prolific entertainers: Konshens, Agent Sasco and
Wayne Marshall. Each of them commands an
impressive following far beyond the shores of their island home. Sold-out stage shows and trending songs on iTunes may define their lives for work, but today the spotlight shines differently on them as they report for duty. G arfield Spence is daddy to 6-year-old Sajhi. He’s attentive to a fault, and has a soft spot for his daughter’s sad face. While he tries to be a staunch disciplinarian most of the time, he admits to being nothing but putty in her hands. And though he knows when to put his foot down, all she has to do is cry to completely shatter his heart.
Garfield is better known as Konshens, and everyday he maneuvers the challenge of being one of the dancehall’s most desired men, and being a doting daddy to his only child. Tough to do? By some standards, maybe, but Konshens doesn’t follow what is ‘standard’.
At 29, this young entertainer has been dubbed the
‘new face of dancehall music’ by many, and has already received several nominations and a host of awards.
That’s far from standard. “I don’t operate on, or below par, in anything that I do”, says Konshens. Being a father in Jamaica’s dancehall community may easily be overlooked as the ‘norm’ – whether or not he accepts the responsibility that comes with the title. “For me, becoming a father”, explains Konshens, “had nothing to do with popular opinion or John Public. I knew that the only choice I had, was to be there, to be present, for my child.”
“I have 6 years of parenting under my belt, and it has been 6 good years. Sahji has a great mother who makes my job of being a father real easy. It’s uncomplicated and stress-free; we have our daughter's well-being in mind.”
Demonstrating wisdom and maturity far beyond his years, Konshens speaks candidly about the influence his daughter has had on his life. “I’ve always been driven and ambitious, but my daughter has amplified all of that tenfold. She also softened my heart towards women - I can’t even tell a lie anymore,” says Konshens as he laughs.
Knowing full well the responsibility that rests on his shoulders as the first man in Sahji’s life, Konshens believes that the teachings and discipline in the home, are what sets the parameters within which his daughter will operate. His parenting style draws a clear line between what is for adults, and what is for kids. “Just
like when I was younger, it was challenging then too, because there is no way to completely shelter kids from adult content in music or movies. It is everywhere. But even more so now, because we have the ‘internet‘ to deal with, so it’s ten times worse. The fact that I sing songs with adult content does not affect my approach to parenting my daughter. If you’re a mother or father, be a “parent” regardless. Protect your child, while preparing their minds for the realities you cannot protect them from. The songs I sing, and the videos I make involve fully-grown adult women. What is for adults is for adults, and what is for kids is for kids!”
With a career on a meteoric rise that is characterised by long hours in studio, days on end away on tour, managing other artistes, and building his shoe line; spending quality time with Sahji cannot be easy to achieve. “No, it’s not easy”, Konshens explains. “To be real, I don’t think I’ve been able to find that balance yet, but I really do try. Everything that I have on my plate, is extremely demanding. My shoe line is blowing up internationally, and I’m at a very exciting place in my life,” says Konshens as he discreetly reveals the latest design from his Konz line of men’s shoes. Smiling, he continues, “For Sahji, I do all I can to make sure every
single thing she needs is totally taken care of. When we’re together, I make the very best of each moment I spend with her. Just being in her presence, doing ‘anything’ is perfect for me - except when she drop asleep,” he laughs. When she’s awake, Daddy fills many roles – protector, friend, playmate, teacher and confidante. “Six-year-old girls have little secrets, and I keep them all,” shares Konshens. “I want my daughter to know that she can trust me, and this is where it starts.”
Sahji is a girly girl. She loves all things pretty and pink, and while Daddy may eventually have his dreams for her future, right now, he just wants her to be happy. The best advice he could give to his daughter to encourage her to achieve her best? “There is so much; definitely not just one thing that will automatically make her into the best person she can be. I like to take it step-by-step, and situation-by-situation. That’s the best way, for me, to shape her outlook on life. I’m doing my best to protect her where I can, and educate her where I can. She’s a bright girl, who already knows how to think for herself. My role, like any other responsible father, is to guide my child.”
Konshens, on how fathers are doing today: “I think for the most part, that there has been great improvement with fathers today who have been stepping up big time in comparison to days gone by. It’s not yet where it should be, and I would encourage every father out there to love and protect his children. Provide for them, and most importantly, be there for them.”
Is Konshens prepared to have ‘the talk’ with his daughter? “I’m ready!!! I’ve been practicing,” he laughs. “I don’t know what age it’ll happen, but whenever the time comes, I’ll be ready. I’ve got this!!!”7 -year-old, Allyanna, 2-year-old Lauren and 1-year-old Joshua have a Daddy who never fails to ignite his most ardent fans. His lyrics are engaging, his delivery powerful, and his energy is so high, it’s contagious. So contagious that even baby Joshua, Agent Sasco’s only son, is insistent on joining the chorus of the popular DJ’s rendition of “The
Wheels on the Bus.” He has many fans the world over, but these three, I’m sure, are his favourite.
You don’t have to be with the Campbells for very long to know that all three children have inherited Daddy’s genes: self-assured, wise and born to perform.
Joshua, a.k.a. JC, is just finding his footing. Literally.
He’s recently started walking and already has his diaper swag going on. Ever seen a confident one year old?
Well this little man is nothing but. His ‘silent-riversrun-deep’ stare makes you wonder just what his little mind is plotting while he waddles carefully to the beat, concentrating on his newly learned strut. Big sister
Ally, as if instinctively, nears her brother in protective mode. She’s ready to break his fall, and unknowingly shows her strong, serious side. All this while the Agent watches attentively. He’s clearly in Daddy-mode, and rightfully so. He’s blessed with incredibly beautiful children. Little miss LC has already graced the cover of b3, and has the charm to hypnotise everyone in her wake. Allyanna, at just 7 years old, possesses the grace and elegance of a real-life princess.
Though entertaining large audiences comes with the territory of being a respected artiste, Jeffrey, a.k.a. Agent Sasco, makes sure that each of his little fans gets to enjoy their own one on one moments with daddy. “Time management is critical, especially with the time demands of my career. I try to be home whenever I can before they go to sleep in the evenings,” he shares. “When I’m home I hang out with them as much as I can. My children love to entertain,” laughing as he sarcastically wonders where they could have possibly gotten that trait. “We spend a lot of time singing and dancing and having crazy fun with each other. The age differences also play a part in how time is shared among them. Ally and I have great conversations on so many different topics. She’s very curious and bright, and full of questions. She’s big enough to accompany me when I run errands, while for now, LC and JC are still too young for the hassle. Lauren and Joshua are still babies, so they LOVE to hear my voice. I make up stories, and sing to them a lot. They love it, and so do I,” a beaming Sasco reveals.
With more than a decade as a successful DJ, Agent Sasco’s confident and forceful stage show persona has become the stuff of legends in the dancehall. But being around him when he’s in daddy mode exposes a gentler side to this imposing figure: glowingly complimenting
Allyanna on how pretty she looks in her dress, tenderly reminding little Lauren to sit like a lady and playfully tickling baby Joshua to coax out a smile. Though he’s fun-loving with his kids, the serious Sasco, whom we sometimes see during performances, has a no-nonsense approach when it comes to disciplining his children. “My principles are a part of both my professional and personal life. At times, my work is about fun, and sometimes it’s about serious issues. I know when to switch hats. Similarly, I am fun dad sometimes and when necessary I’m serious dad. I must say though, I’m way more patient as a father than I am at anything else.”
Hoping to impart certain values and attitudes to their children, Sasco and his wife agree that discipline is a function of that process. They attempt to curb behaviour that is not consistent with their family ideals and goals. As a couple, they use varied approaches to discipline as different situations arise, and have found that speaking with them, and showing options and other ways of looking at things, is the best and most effective way for them. “We do whatever we feel is in the best interest of helping the kids develop good values and sound qualities,” explains Sasco.
With the now commonplace use of social media, how does this very public figure manage to keep his personal life private? “Social media is integral, and I do share a bit of personal and family content on my Facebook and Instagram, but personal content management is necessary. I’m very proud of my children and their achievements along the way, but I’m also very careful to guard not just our privacy as a family, but theirs as individuals as well. I really just keep our very personal family matters outside of the public space.”
Sasco knows that being a celebrity is not just about making music. It’s about the person behind the music, and being able to stand tall and represent himself, even after the stage lights go out. “Having children has made me more conscious of the musical legacy I will leave. I now consider what my children’s children are going to think about grandpa's work. It’s also incredibly flattering when the kids like a song. I was shocked the other night when I asked L.C. if she knew any of my songs and she said “Yes Daddy, Day In Day Out”. "It felt like I had won a Grammy just because she acknowledged the song.”
If all goes according to 7-year-old Gio’s plans, it shouldn’t be too long before daddy Wayne will be ‘kickin’ it’ at the olympic-sized pool that he’ll be buying for his Mummy. Along with his father, and ‘Uncle’ Sasco, Giomar is riding an incredible wave in the dancehall, that sees their collaboration receiving heavy rotation on local and international airwaves. Daddy
Wayne couldn’t be happier. He welcomed his second son almost 6 months ago, making his mini musician, a big brother. Jaxen’s arrival is the proverbial icing on the cake. “This is it for me; I’ve had an awesome year!”
Wayne Marshall is a proud father who made the decision to allow his 7-year-old son to ‘enter’ the dancehall on the currently trending single “Stupid
Money”. How does he feel about exposing his young son to the industry? “Music is in our blood. I don’t force him into music, it comes naturally to him, and it’s fun for him, so I try to keep it like that,” says Wayne.
With the song’s seemingly heavy focus on money and wealth, Wayne explains the lesson behind the music. “Stupid Money is not about being stupid with the money it’s about having ‘stupid’ amounts of money.” Stupid being the slang for plenty or copious amounts, sees the song speaking about dreaming big dreams, and not limiting oneself. Stupid Money was written to inspire people to aim for great success. We don’t worship money and vanity, but the reality is that money is crucial to survival in this system.”
As his father, Wayne sees it as his responsibility to steer Gio through the entertainment industry. If you’re lucky enough to meet this charming young man, you’ll be struck by his humility and sincerity. “Gio is not the kid to dwell on popularity, that’s not why he comes on stage. It’s always been a part of him and I believe a child is never too young to explore God-given talents.”
Though Gio is free to choose any path he wishes,
Daddy believes that this is just the beginning of his son’s musical journey. His advice to him is to learn his instruments, which will serve as the best foundation to build on his natural ability.
Wayne, like his friend and industry colleague Agent
Sasco, represents a large sector of Caribbean men who stand at the helm of blended families. Gio’s mother, and
Jaxen’s mother, Wayne’s wife, are the reason it all works. “I am blessed to have great women in my life who are easy to communicate with. We have always put Giomar first in all things,” says the always-smiling Wayne. “Too many parents place kids in the middle of relationship drama, that inevitably messes them up. Giomar knows
he has a unique family structure and he loves his mother and stepmother dearly. Any other dynamic would be strange for him, that’s all he knows.”
Respect for each other keeps the lines of communication open in their lives. That, and open discussion. “I have never left it to chance whether he gets it or not, we discuss everything on his mind at the right times,” says Wayne emphatically. This daddy knows that some people have to dig deeper than others to put emotions aside, and look at the bigger picture, but his firm belief is that putting children first should always be the highest priority for parents.
There is an energy that exudes from a father who loves being a Dad. And though
Wayne makes a valiant attempt to look serious, the joy in his life prevents the poker face from shining through. He starts to speak about Jaxen. “Bwoy, I love being a father. I couldn’t imagine my life without Gio and Jaxen.”
Like any good ‘Marshall’, Wayne made sure to prepare for Jaxen’s arrival. Ensuring that big brother wouldn’t feel neglected was an important part of the process that was tackled by involving Gio in all aspects of planning to welcome the baby.
Across the Caribbean, so many new fathers revel in the pride of having boys. For some, it’s an extra-special blessing to ‘carry on the family name’. That may be so, but for Wayne, the best part of parenting is having healthy and happy children, and watching them progress and grow into being independent thinkers. He is proud to observe how quickly Jaxen is picking up new things, and how well Giomar is developing as a young man. He is proud to be his brother’s keeper. “My sons are super special and I think they validate who I am as a person, because if God saw it fit to bless me with them I guess I must be pretty special too.”
As a longtime positive role model, in and outside of the dancehall, Wayne is cognizant of setting an example. Wayne’s wish for fathers today? “Observe the delivery process and understand the miracle that takes place when a new life is born.
Natural instinct of responsibility should chip in at that moment when you see what a mother has to go through. You can't really force somebody to be a good father but at the end of the day the greatest thing you can do for yourself and your children is to be there for them as a positive guiding force. I’ve learned that children are much smarter than we think they are. They observe things you wouldn't expect, and are quick to emulate us most of the time. Parents teach by example, so our actions are critical. For me, I'm always trying to be the best father I can be for my boys.”
