10 / FEBRUARY 2022 PRIME
Old Guys and Colonoscopies By Jim Drummond E
veryone was settled around the table at the old guy waterhole this week when Heidi, the waitress, came up to take our orders. Heidi is actually quite dandy at waitressing. She possesses a fundamental understanding of old guy humor. She rarely rolls her eyes, or shakes her head, or snorts in disgust. The waterhole is never the same when
Heidi is away on vacation or caring for a sick goldfish. As Heidi was writing down requests on her order pad, a pad which also has pictures of pink pandas and green giraffes, one of the fellows halfway down the table stated, “Just a water.” Heidi paused in shock, her pencil poised in mid air. Up and down the table heads spun and
everyone looked hard at our friend. Finally somebody asked, “What’s up with only water? Are you cleansing your kidneys?” The fellow responded, “No, I’m getting a colonoscopy tomorrow and I’m not supposed to eat food, or drink anything but water.” One of the gents in the group
considers himself to be our medical expert, and he responded, “I believe the rule the day before a colonoscopy is not to eat hard food, but you can drink whatever you want. You just can’t eat hot dogs, or coleslaw, or corn on the cob, or pickled summer sausage. You better order something from Heidi, other than water, or she’ll think that you’re a cheapskate.”
