degree proj ect by brad lacey
idea
My idea began to form when preparing myself for what seemed to me as a life changing moment within the summer. I’ve always had one wall stopping me from coming out as gay, this was my mum, who brought me up with nothing but love but I was afraid that telling her this truth would break that love.
idea
There have been many frightful events and times within life that have led me to be afraid to tell her, worrying she won’t accept it and leaving me without a home. I never believed the outcome would be good, and for the first half of coming out, it wasn’t.
under the sheet Every time I’ve ever returned to my bed, the only way I’d calm down and remove myself from all reality was to hide under my bedsheets. A simple method, but one that gave me a sense of euphoria. This is what I wanted to do during the talk I had with my mum, and what I want to do at many points, I’d rather be doing it now. It allowed the light from reality to be darkened out, it gave me a sense of protection because I was home, no-one could see or hear me.
under the sheet
Towards the end of the talk, my mum began to understand, she asked questions and learned rather than sticking to what she was taught. The talk ended with love, something I never pictured when imagining this moment, and I was left with this same euphoria feeling that hiding away under my sheets would give me.
under the sheet
Many aspects come into play within the imagery of this project, but I want them all to relay back to the one feeling of Euphoria. The sheet will play an important role in my visuals, one that tells the viewer I’m hidden and protected, and although the sheet can easily be removed or pulled off, I’m comfortable underneath it.
f actorsof the work
Isolation, Claustrophobia, Self-Expression and many other factors play a part in the construction of these imagery, being able to tell a story of how a feeling affects me. So, I began to imagine myself under a sheet, protected and hidden from life and questioned why it is I feel this, and it is because most of my identity is concealed away, my expressions.
imagery In the photographs I’ve taken, I went into a forest and used a dust sheet to hide myself, but any emotion and expression wasn’t conveyed, so I broke down an insecurity of mine and stripped naked, but I wasn’t afraid of this because again, I was under the sheet, blurred and unseen. I used a crown in these visuals to define the shape of my figure, yet also using this prop as a way of conveying control, I’m the ruler of myself whether I have my control or not.
other locations Alongside these images displayed, I want to put myself in many other locations, some which can be seen as freeing and calming, while others show a level of decay and noise, and seeing how I fit within that scene. Both with and without props, emotions and body language and how I convey emotion through this. Some examples of these are a lake, abandoned settlements and further shoots in forests.
arti sts
One artist whose work instantly clicked with how I pictured mine is Kyle Thompson. An upcoming photographer who works with conceptual and surreal imagery of himself placed within locations, focusing on body language and props to convey a story or meaning. He captures a photographic journey of his own self-importance and worth.
arti sts Other artists I’ve both been inspired and plan to research are: • Tim Walker • Alex Stoddard • Kirsty Mitchell • Rosie Hardy
summary In summary, my image is a way of feeling safe and euphoric, a way of hiding from reality just to feel comfortable. Using many aspects of my body, my anxiety, my life events, all to represent my own recovery. My images strip me down to my weakest form, while the way I form myself within these photos allows me to overcome this weakness and show a value of strength. In terms of titles, my project at this moment in time is titled‌
euphoria