Comprehensive Edit

Memorandum To:

Dr. Kenneth Price

From:

Brandy Kiger

Date:

September 11, 2007

Subject:

English 603: Comprehensive Edit

Introduction The Mountain Heritage Center is an organization dedicated to the preservation and display of regional artifacts and history. Their primary goal is to educate the public on developments that have shaped and changed the face of the region, examining economics, culture, and world events and their impact. In order to do this, they utilize their space by creating exhibits designed to engage the viewer and impart historical information. I have been invited to edit and redesign one of their traveling exhibits, entitled “After the War,” which will be leaving the museum in the near future to go on tour.

Analysis Purpose This exhibit will travel across North Carolina to various venues such as other museums and high schools in order to educate others on the regional history of western North Carolina. I will edit the existing exhibit for clarity and conciseness in order to make it more “travel-friendly.” I will also develop “house rules” for the Mountain Heritage Center that can be used in future displays per the request of Dr. Philyaw.

Audience “After the War” should attract a broad demographic, but it is expected that its primary focus will be those over the age of forty. But, since venues are to be scheduled at high schools as well, it is necessary that the exhibit be accessible to all ages. This exhibit is geared toward those wishing to learn more about their heritage and about the post-war western North Carolina area. Many visitors to the exhibit will have little or no previous knowledge of the impact the wars had on this region, therefore it is imperative that the exhibit be concise yet thorough.

Evaluation Content Due to the compilation of this exhibit by numerous history students, it lacks cohesiveness in design and writing style. It is very verbose, and needs to be pared down and simplified to a greater extent to make it travel-ready.

Currently, the exhibit consists of nineteen panels which are in the following order: • Introductory panel: “After the War” • “Untitled” • “Health Care” • “Good Health Program” • “Economics” • “Textiles” • “Tourism” • “When the Lights Went On” • “Mining” • “Logging” • “Education” • “Accelerated School Programs for Veterans” • “Farm School” • “Civil Rights” • “American Women” • “African Americans” • “Native Americans” • “A Question of Fairness” • “Gaining Rights” Several of the panels contain similar material, which creates redundancy and need to be edited and/or rewritten. The two panels on health care are examples of this.

Visual Design The subject matter is addressed in 18” x 24” panels, which use both text and photographs to portray the information. Most are poorly designed and lack visual interest, with the exception of the “Untitled” panel. Its strength is that it is very visual, using a photograph for the primary focus of the panel in contrast to the other panels which average out at about 400-500 words per panel.

Several of the panels have chosen a dark background with a white text, making the information difficult to read, especially for the elderly or those with vision problems.

Other panels have been presented in a sans serif font, which is acceptable for webbased documents, but proves more difficult to follow and read when in print.

The titles of each panel are rendered in a cartoon-ish way, which does not lend to their professional nature. The exhibit does, however, have consistency in overall design and font.

Style “After the War” has a casual tone of voice overall, which is informative yet inviting at the same time. Yet, it is inconsistent. Because this was a collaborative project, each panel varies in its tone and is an issue that needs to be addressed. Problems also arise with sentence structure, grammar, and spelling. The text in the panels is somewhat redundant and I feel that it impedes the meaning of some of the panels.

Objectives • To reduce the number of panels in the exhibit in order to make it more “travel-friendly.”

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To provide a balanced use of text and graphics within the document that will aide the audience in viewing and understanding the material within the panels.

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To design a cohesive and attractive format for the exhibit panels.

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To develop a style for the exhibit that is cohesive and accessible to the viewer. Also, to correct punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure within the document.

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To create an overall consistency within the exhibit that is clear and professional in nature.

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To edit and/or rewrite panels as necessary, paring the words from 400-500 words per panel to around 300.

Following these objectives, I will edit and redesign the exhibit, creating a product that is more accessible to the intended audiences. I plan to discuss my objectives with Suzanne McDowell before proceeding with editing. The finished exhibit will be reviewed by the directors of the Mountain Heritage Center, and is subject to their approval.

Conclusion I look forward to working with the staff of the Mountain Heritage Center to edit and redesign this traveling exhibit. In this document I have outlined my views of the exhibit as it currently is, and my plans for improving it based on my observations of audience, content and use. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the content of this memorandum, please feel free to contact me via e-mail at brandimos@gmail.com or by phone at (828) 226-2162. Thank you again for allowing me to work on this project.