BOYS DON’T CRY

HoW to do YouR Bit in tackling tHe stigMa

Writer: Marieke Asbreuk

Designer: Bridget Bakker

The biggest misconception about masculinity is that men are stronger than women and, therefore, less likely to experience mental struggles. Facts prove otherwise. Suicide rates in men are four times higher than in women. About time we break the silence.

There are a few reasons why it is difficult for men to seek help when needed. Stereotypes play a huge role in the stigma. To be a “real man,” you must be independent, tough, responsible, and dominant, and a “real woman” should be elegant, caring, and emotional.

As a man, being vulnerable and sensitive can be a threat to this masculine image, and the fear of judgment might occur. In these times of acceptance of mental health issues, the truth emerges because boys and men are left behind.

The pressure is on. But why? Physical differences between men and women are by no means sufficient to draw the conclusion that men would be stronger than women.

This everlasting lack of equality results not only in women having trouble catching up on men in society but also in men struggling to find a balance between being masculine and being vulnerable.

The fear of men being perceived as weak or soft is what makes this stigma dangerous, and unfortunately, the truth is that way too often, it can be fatal for men. And it’s not their fault. Breaking a taboo that has existed for hundreds of years is far from easy.

You could say that parenting is playing a role here. When for example, your dad has been telling you to man up instead of sharing feelings your whole childhood, chances are you will be struggling with opening up in the future.

However, it is unfair to blame things on the individual parent. Although you can blame someone for not letting their kids open up about their emotions, it is not their fault society has been expecting the same things for this long. In fact, parents probably have been raised the exact same way.

It is much more important to zoom out and work together to better understand what this stigma is and how it affects society in general. It is the underlying stereotype we have to kill in order for people to understand that suppression is never the answer.

Last week I read an article about this subject explaining how men never receive flowers in their life except at their funerals. This kind of shocked me and got me thinking even by showing appreciation towards men, we can tackle stereotypes and create equality.

Masculinity is all about power. In order to tackle the stigma, women need a little more, and men need a little less. By small things such as giving men flowers, we are already challenging the stereotypes to adapt to modern society, to create a more inclusive community.

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