2 minute read
SANDS UNITED FC Football playing dads bond over grief
They’ll never walk alone
We caught up with Shareef Mani to tell us about Sands United FC London – a UK-wide network of football teams helping bereaved dads cope with the tragedy of losing a child.
They’ll never walk alone
How did Sands United FC start? We came together through bereavement and this unites us as a group of men who can talk openly about the sadness, guilt and the pain of losing a baby. In 2017, Rob Allen from Northampton suffered the loss of his baby daughter, Niamh. He soon realised there was no charity, or support network that specialised in providing help specifically for men affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth. Rob’s love of football led him to organise a football match at Northampton Town FC in aid of Sands, the UK’s leading stillbirth and neonatal death charity. The game was such a resounding success, that the dads decided to form Sands United FC Northampton.
When did Sands United FC London form? We got together in 2019, and currently have 36 fathers from London who have experienced the death of a child by miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. All the players commemorate their child’s life by proudly displaying their names on their team shirts. So far, we’ve played six games since coming out of lockdown in April 2021. The camaraderie makes it special. We get to socialise with each other after each match and talk about the things on our minds. It break down barriers in the men who have never spoken to anyone about their grief. We support each other as good mates.
Why did you join Sands United FC? My wife and I lost our son Noah, due to a stillbirth death, in October 2019. The nurses at Barnet Hospital gave me literature about Sands and a year I plucked up the courage to contact them. Through the love of football, we get to channel our emotions and grief. Everyone is welcome to join. What support is available? We have regional mental health coordinators who provide support. The team also has a welfare officer who does weekly check-ins with the players. Since COVID, this has taken place virtually.
What advice would you give dads who experience this type of bereavement? Don’t be hard on yourself, find help in a support group, don’t suffer in silence or on your own. Talk to someone about your feelings and take time to heal.
Sands United FC footballer dad To find out more about Sands FC United London, please get in touch through their social media channels: Facebook: SandsUtdLondon Twitter: Londonsufc Instagram: Sufclondon or email: sufclondon@gmail.com
