TRIP OUT ON THIS
#4
Dewey Saunders Vacationer (Kenny Vasoli) Britt Andrews Meg Snead Helado Negro
Matt Schwartz (She Hit Pause Studios) emily hadland brian lambert jenna schreck Rexedog sarah ruggieri
Huge thanks to our cover feature dewey saunders for being a part of this issue. front cover and above image are artworks by dewey and his interview feature begins on page 20. Back cover by one of our main squeezes, sarah ruggieri, and a series of her cut-out text illustrations are up first in this issue. sarah particpated in “And in Residence�, an artist residency and exhibition this past november and there’s plenty to look out for from this leggy babe.
Letter from the editor: “Trip Out On This” is a colorful collection of works by people that we feel are expanding reality all the time, people that are making more things possible because the edges have to get wider to accommodate what they’re up to. We all seem to have caught the travel bug as well. Sometimes the best trip is a mile or a block away and sometimes you travel for 36 hours just to get on a bus and then get on a train to catch a taxi to get to another bus to maybe then arrive where you are trying to go. Maybe you travel so much that the bar by the terminal you frequent knows you by name, or maybe you’re only occasionally getting the fuck outta dodge and just trying to drive up the highway enough to where you can see the stars a little more clearly and perhaps that is plenty to get by. maybe the best trip is a little piece of paper on your tongue, but I’m personally a little prude about drugs and have gone a lot of places just by breathing into my belly for a while. So that’s an option, you can just gather up all your friends and lay on your backs doing some deep belly breathing for as long as it takes to feel a bit weird but probably one to four hours is a good start. Also, mantra. I’ve been transported to faraway corners of my mind through meditation and mantra and once relished in a waking dream where I had become a hurricane or waterspout, hovering over a deep dark sea with black eyes and a metallic gold exoskeleton. i did have a memorable time once eating some homemade cookies in California after going spearfishing and felt like that star wars pod-racer video game was happening inside of my body and that half of me was made of steel. Traveling has been a bit of a strong undercurrent for House of Hayes and music has most often been the driving force as well as experiencing new places, particularly breakfast establishments in those new places. Being able to connect a few dots around the country into a constellation of where we’ve seen this band or that band is what started to feel unique about documenting those experiences. In the span of 24 hours, we once went from seeing P. Diddy perform and partying in his back booth until 6 am in atlanta and having some breakfast at homegrown to then drive all the way to new orleans where we ended up meeting and hanging with everybody in mumford and sons along with some friends from the magnetic zeros and the somewhat oddly long list of other celebrities that happened to be there. it’s not like now we’re best friends with diddy, but that day was a strange and wonderful saga of surprising encounters. Celebrities only matter as much as any random person that ends up being cool to hang with, so the only real point of the name-dropping is that we would have never been a part of those scenarios by staying at home and sitting on the couch. There’s a lot of potential out there and you get to decide what trips to take, but go ahead and git up and git out and git something*. hope you are inspired by these folks’ journeys as much as we have been.
Maggie Hayes (@melanisticjaguar) maggie-hayes.com / thehouseofhayes.com *(expect at least one outkast reference per issue).
contributors/in this issue
5 10 20 28 34 42 56 64 74 80 88
SARAH RUGGIERI IS A PHILADELPHIA-BASED VISUAL ARTIST AND MASSage therapist among many other things. a brilliant woman to pass time with, sarah translates simple lyrics and phrases into universal narratives in her ongoing series of cut-out text. The rock star is the one among us who can translate the most profound elements of the life experience to the masses with enough interest to move you. Sarah is undoubtedly a bit hip-hop but not short at all on the genius of rockin n rollin. instagram: @rugerug / srhrg.tumblr.com Brian lambert is a savannah-bred, berkeley-based photographer and videographer and is able to help us find and lose our sense of place through a photo series that begins on page 10. Visit flickr.com/kablambiam for more photographs and follow @kablamb on instagram. dewey saunders is our cover boy and also just insanely prolific and amazing in all feats creative. We’re just happy to join the running for presidency of the fan club. An exciting collage of sights and sounds, dewey’s work is easy to spot at @deweysaunders on instagram as well as on his website at deweysaunders.com Meg Snead is all about the film but not one to shut down the digital either. we caught a few of her double-exposure polaroid series and instantly fell in love with her “Faded Florets”. Meg is easy to find on vine and instagram at @megvsnead. Emily hadland is a sculptor and performance artist based out of savannah, Ga. Though she’s plenty striking all on her own, we lucked out when another friend mentioned emily’s sculptural work at a house party. Then I looked up her website and she’s a total wonder of epic and imaginative proportions. more on emily at @hadlandbutshelostit and her website emilyhadland.com Jenna Schreck is a los angeles-based photographer appearing in her second issue of house of hayes (also in issue 3, even in darkness). in this issue, she takes us through a week in black rock city, nevada...aka where burning man happens every year. we wanna goooo. @jennabear_schreck and jennaschreck.com VaCationer!!!! Man oh man. what a treat. we love kenny vasoli a lot and it was a great getting to pick his brain about a couple of adventures and also get some tips on “How to be a good chiller”. May the chill be with you. @vacationing on instragram and vacationermusic.com , and also on tour to a city near you! Matt Schwartz of “she hit pause” Studios is a poet of image. we went ahead and interviewed him anyways and getting the background info only adds to the beauty. his work is truly is in its own range of lyricism and narrative and his gift for capturing a story in a single moment is remARKABLE. @shehitpausestudios and shehitpause.com Helado negro translates directly to black ice cream, but roberto lange has a few other translations in mind as well and he continues to spin new elements into his projects, Most recently with a large ensemble of great friends and part of an orchestra. @heladonegro and heladonegro.bandcamp.com Britt andrews is a worldly woman, a creative force and drop-dead gorgeous to boot. Her photography spills over into other genres and a few wonderful mixed media expressions have made their way into this issue, but she’s also known to have quite the full arsenal of making and crafting as well. more at @brittanyandrews on instagram and her website: http://www.bkqfu.com rexedog is a philadelphia based band that has had us rockin on a number of occasions, we finally got down to the nitty gritty with frontman dan cole. liz asked him a lot of important stuff and then there’s an epic round of marry/fuck/kill that you don’t want to miss. @rexedog
sincerely, sarah ruggieri
sense of place photographs by brian lambert
interview by Liz Hayes, all images are artworks by Dewey Saunders (c)
Dewey Saunders is constantly making, but he lives for it. Hard work don’t seem so hard when you love what you do. He seamlessly blends the two worlds of music and art by doing things like making a hip hop mixtape and illustrating the cover. he also created an innovative art exhibit with Matt Gribben of Radlands Clothing in which they created an imaginary record label called, “New Fuzz.” The artwork was created as the “merch” for this invented label and they made zines, posters, totes, and tees to sell at the show. As a longtime fan of his beautiful collage work, I was surprised when I found out he also makes music under the moniker, Dewey Decibel as an mc/rapper. He also acts as the creative director of Bold New Breed Records, which is an independent branch of the Philadelphia Record Company. Dewey is brilliant at making things happen for himself. If no outlet exists, he creates an outlet. There’s no stopping a human like that. The only thing to do is sit back, relax, and enjoy the sounds, shapes, and colors in his many combinations. HXH: You’re a very multi-faceted artist, doing everything from poster designs to making hip hop music. What projects are you involved in/working on these days? DS: I’ve been doing these simple collages which are stacks of household objects impossibly balanced on each other which I am finding super satisfying and super fun to make. I just finished up a single cover for the L.A. rock band The Rituals for their upcoming release “The Runaway,” working on some apparel designs, putting together a zine/tape release with my friend Ed Christof titled “Coffee Wave,” preparing for a May two-man show at North Bowl in Northern Liberties, Philadelphia with photographer Andre Rucker and sitting on a brand new EP “Sub Cult” which will come out when the time is right. HXH: What was your first job ever? DS: My first job ever was bussing tables and washing dishes at a breakfast joint in Boynton Beach, Florida called Jo-Al’s when I was 15.
HXH: What things are you the most crushed out on right now? DS: All I can think about is the weather getting warm and skateboarding around town. Also, I will have my bike back, which was stolen, so I’m super psyched to cruise around in the nice weather. HXH: Do you have an equal love of music and art or is there a gold and silver medal? DS: I feel like they are the same thing, so both get the gold. HXH: What’s your favorite place in the whole world? DS: I love Italy. My grandmother lives there and I have visited three times. She is not Italian but moved there after grad school and has a really cool house in the middle of nowhere. The town is called Zerbo but it really is just a big cul-de-sac of about six houses amidst sprawling rolling hills of vineyards. Its quite beautiful. There’s so many spots that I can’t wait to discover: Japan, Australia, Costa Rica, Vancouver and Vietnam are on the top of the list. HXH: Favorite place in the good ole US of A? DS: I’ve been to Cali once and fell in love. Southern California is really great, but also my hometown in South Florida is one of my favs. The Florida Keys are where its at too...love life by the water. I might move to either of these places pretty soon. HXH: What’s your dream collaboration? DS: Art wise I would love to collaborate with Taschen on an art book of my works. At this point there is plenty of material to choose from. Musically it would be a dream to be on a track with Aesop Rock, just an age old rap fantasy.
HXH: For your “Rapper series” illustrations, how do you pick who you illustrate/what image you base the drawing off of? DS: I draw rappers that I listen to. It’s always someone that I think is super dope and that I would like to work with on visuals. HXH: I gotta ask, did Drake ever give you credit for your illustration of him that he posted on Instagram? DS: Drake is flying me out to Toronto this summer to work on our collaboration mixtape, its gonna be called Drizzy Decibels and is sponsored by Apple and Playboy magazine. It’s lit. HXH: For your collage work, where do you find most of the images you end up using? DS: I am a collector of all types of printed matter. Rare books, vintage publications like Life magazines and old National Geographics. My book collection is pretty crazy. I am not afraid to cut up nice art books or whatever I need for my work. It’s a bit blasphemous but it makes for nice collages so I don’t feel that bad about it. I love books and love to cut them up. HXH: How do you feel about the future of the “art world” and the social media world where everyone’s an artist? DS: The “Art World” has always been a bit political and with the advent of social media its even more of a popularity contest. Great work will always shine through the bullshit. HXH: Biggest load of bullshit of 2015? DS: Kayne West’s Yeezys. HXH: What’s the most amazing thing you’ve experienced/witnessed so far? DS: Satori on the beach under the influence of psychoactive vegetation.
Hot sauce is delicious in moderation. Partial nudity is not enough. Philadelphia is a hidden jewel. Money is the fall from grace. Ink is the blood of language. Godzilla is real. Beer is not as good as weed. Jesus Christ is just alright with me, jesus is just alright, oh yeah Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright Science is missing the bigger picture. Graffiti is enigmatic epigrams. Power is speaking things into existence. Body hair is au naturale. James Brown is the original b boy. Cameltoe is encouraged. Cold brew is the fountain of youth. Punk is dead. H.A.M. on everything Life is a movie.
New Fuzz series, Fall 2014
Faded Faded Faded Faded Florets Florets Florets Florets byMeg MegV. V.Snead Snead by Meg V. Snead by Meg V. Snead Faded Floretsby
by Meg V. Snead
wearable (2009), photograph by Julia Allen
going up with E M I L Y H a d l a n d interview
by
maggie
hayes
A S C E N S I O N
Emily Hadland Is embracing the fantastical and that happens to be one of our favorite qualities to find in both humanity and art. In a lyrical combination of the two, Emily received her B.A. in 2002 from Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, Minnesota. she then studied in Florence, Italy in 2006 and More recently, Emily has been awarded an M.F.A. degree from the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia. All of her studies have been with an emphasis on sculpture, but she doesn’t limit herself to object making alone. Currently her work includes performance, photographs, and video. She allows forms and shapes to emerge from an unrestrained part of the imagination, reflecting ideas of the body as a tool that enhances experience and the mind as an instrument of escape from bodily constraints. Whether lifting the spirit or lifting the shapes themselves, emily reminds us that we can fly.
tribute (2009)
TRAIN SHAMAN (2011), photographed by andrew brodhead
Emily (2009)
swallow (2008)
little appliance (2008)
destended seduction (2011)
HXH: I find that anytime I am in a room and there’s a spark of fluorescent pink somewhere, whether in a tangle of a neon sign or otherwise, I’m always arrested by it and instantly drawn in. You can imagine my delight in first seeing your work, that the color is prominent in a handful of pieces. What do you enjoy about using the hotter side of the pink spectrum? EH: I do enjoy neon, not necessarily in a fashion context, but I do like that these hot colors have a way of commanding attention. HXH: What has inspired you/draws you to certain materials? EH: There is an amazing Fabric Warehouse in South Carolina that I discovered seven years ago. There are bins of fabric that you can buy per pound, and I stumbled upon a massive supply of nylon rip-stop. The colors were out of sight, and I had the urge to jump into the bin and swim around in the material. I like to work with new materials that are a challenge and that ask to be touched. HXH: Where did you grow up and how did you wind up in Savannah? :) We are lucky to have you. EH: Thanks! I am from Baxter Minnesota, and after attending The University of Georgia for my masters in Sculpture I moved to this lovely city in 2010. A couple things brought me here, but more importantly a ton of things have made me stay. HXH: What’s the best thing about being a human and having a body? ...and what’s the worst thing...? and what’s the best and worst thing about having a human brain? EH: Good question. For me it is the interaction between the physical body and the cerebral mind. They round out the whole experience by playing off of one another. Thinking which leads to doing and vice-a-versa action with the body effecting a thought. The worst thing about having a human body is that they will always eventually fail us in some way. And this can be true for the human brain as well. HXH: What’s the significance of having a performative or body expressive component to the pieces? EH: I think generally people viewing art are more easily able to understand images that reference the human form in someway. A lot of my work is about the experience of wearing the sculptures and how it feels in that specific environment. Showing the work just as a sculpture without the photographic component somehow looses that essence of the experience.
Idleness of escape (2010)
Envelope (2010) this spread photographed by julia AlleN
All images in this page and next are from “sink/swim” (2012) photographed by andrew brodhead
Favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate Sleeping...back, belly or side? Back Last album you bought? Don’t remember, but I was gifted Head Hunter by Herbie Hancock Favorite trip? (can be physical or mental or both) both You can have whatever you like... If the tab’s on us, what is the all-time dream for a room service order? The most expensive champagne Gas up the jet for you tonight baby, where we going? Florence, Italy Favorite mode of transportation? Bicycle Sports? Yes, Please! How do you take your coffee? with a splash of whole milk one word: Rihanna? ...Picasso? Rihcasso Favorite contemporary artist? Berlinde De Bruyckere ...Musician? Buck Owens Dream collaboration? Yoko Ono Krispy kreme or Dunkin Donuts? Krispy Kreme Most attractive quality in another person? must have excitement for life out of all of history, someone you would want to have lunch with? (can be living or dead)? Jesus
to burn and to love
photographs by jenna schreck
“A journalist for a french literary magazine interviewed Jean Cocteau, whose house was filled with several books, paintings, and drawings by famous artists. Cocteau had a deep affection for each and every object and thus kept everything he cherished. Seeing this, the journalist asked:
‘If this house were to catch fire right now and you could only rescue one thing, what would you choose?’ Cocteau responded,
“I would take the fire.”
Stills from the music video for “Trip” shot by Dave Homcy on Lomography LomoKino cameras in Hawaii. Edited and Color Corrected by Philippe Grenade for Fortune Films USA.
Soaking it all up... Vacationer’s Kenny Vasoli
HXH: So you’ve been on the road with rubblebucket 10-12 dates, what has been your favorite thing about touring with those guys? KV: The cool thing about touring with them is that no matter what’s going on in the day before the show, they sort of force a celebration on you. And its unassuming that they’re in that kind of band. Once you get to know them, at least on the surface, they are very reserved people. A few of them meditate a lot, they’re very quiet. They’re not gregarious people. So I think they just turn it all on when they go on stage. They hang up all this shit and blow these balloons up and confetti, and there’s all this preparation to throw a party every night. So by the time they’re out there, it’s playtime. HXH: Has that given you any extra sort of enthusiasm? You are gregarious to start out with though. KV: I am. It’s in keeping with my vibe (laughs). It’s inspiring for sure though because it’s a nice reminder of how fun performing can be. They really go for it. They never phone it in, they always turn it up to 11. HXH: Last time we talked, you had started the endeavor of doing the visuals all on your own.. Have you seen an evolution in that process as you’ve been touring? KV: Yeah, I think you probably saw that first wave of shows where everything was actually working fluidly with the visuals and our music. So that was a huge victory to be able to get it to work. HXH: It was beautiful!! KV: Thanks, yeah (laughs), I am just sort of basking in the functionality of it at this point. And a lot of people on this tour haven’t seen us before, or at least not with the visuals. So I think once we plan a headliner in the fall, I’ll start getting more creative with switching out some of the footage and even trying to midi-map some things so we can get trippy with all of it in the middle of the set.
HXH: Speaking of trippy, what’s been your favorite trip? KV: My favorite trip…One of the most memorable trip experiences was going to Amsterdam. It was my third time going there, but I had a trip planned with an ex-lover and we parted ways before the trip. And I still took the trip by myself. Just ten days in sort of public seclusion in Amsterdam. I think I only spoke with, maybe three people the whole time I was there. So it was a very cathartic, adventurous experience for me. It also bit me with the bug of wanting to travel on my own a lot more and not having any sort of anxiety about it. Right now I think I’m even planning a trip to get down to Brazil for the first time. Gonna try to do a last minute thing before summer starts. HXH: Oh my gosh. Can’t wait to hear about that. We’ll have to do a follow-up on that. Brazil’s been on my crush list for a long time. Should be amazing. Perhaps I also remember you mentioning something about taking LSD in Iceland… KV: That might have happened. HXH: Could you elaborate on that experience (laughs) KV: Yeah, totally. That was another red-letter day for me. Just in terms of happiness level...I just remember that day, especially the end of it..It was all funneled into this moment of everyone being in the hostel and everyone was in this common kitchen area..and we’d just come from seeing Sigur Ros, who closed out the Iceland Airways festival. And me and one of my bandmates put the LSD on our tongue when we were waiting to get into it. The whole experience of that show was really intense, in good and bad ways. So. To set the scene a little bit, we took it, we’re so excited. We’re standing in line, we can sort of feel it creeping in and we’re all filing into this, basically a basketball arena, with nothing going on inside of it, but not a stadium or anything like that. It was really weird, it was almost like in “Under the Skin”, the room she takes them into was sort of just an endless room. It was weirdly lit. Very brightly lit, but you couldn’t see the end of it, just a huge boxy room. Their stuff was set up behind this sheer, almost looked like mosquito netting, and you could see these people with headlamps, their techs looking around and there was this pretty very twinkly major chord music going and it was 5 minutes before they were supposed to go on. So we were so excited, it’s kicking in and we got great spots. and then it starts filling around us and then we’re ass to elbows with everybody. But still can’t wait for it to start, and it was my bandmate’s first time taking LSD so we were all excited. Then the music switched over into this long, drawn-out, tense minor string quartet thing, that sounded just like one note slowed down, really dissonant. And they just played it for the entire rest of the time we were waiting, which ended up being an hour, ass to elbows standing straight up, back hurting, just waiting for them to go on. In my mind, because it had been so opened up to possibilities, I’m like, they planned this, they just want to get the mood weird. So I started to feel,like “Why are they doing this?! My back hurts, the light is awful” and there’s this crazy tense, kind of david lynch mood music happening the whole time. And I look over at my buddy and he’s pale in the face, bowled over a bit. So I’m reaching through two people to like, rub his back. So it just got off to a weird start. Then finally an hour in, the lights went down. Then they opened with this completely evil track. The whole set stayed on that tip. The crazy thing about that show is that it sprung so many theories on why that show was that way, for me… Because I looked around during the show and was trying to gauge the vibe of the other people, and the crowd was kind of split between people looking like “Fuck this” and other people just like, “YESSSSS” and fully embracing it. At one point in the set this guy in the front row, in an Icelandic accent yelled, “THIS IS ICELAND” and I remember thinking, like “yeah, this really is Iceland.” I gathered from the whole thing that they were trying to make it this very unique, Icelandic experience that wasn’t really for the tourists that had come to see Sigur Ros. They were coming to play for Iceland, and from what I understand it was their first time playing Iceland in five or six years. There was a bunch of back story to it. I still couldn’t understand why they drew out the entrance of the show so long. I was still a bit bitter about it during the show, just kind of pissed. Because physically, I was like dying, and I remember walking out of the show hunched over and just beaten down exhausted. They did two encores, and I’m not a fan of encores from anybody. I just don’t like them. I’m just like, “stay out there if you want to play more, don’t make me throw a tantrum” but that’s just me. So I was a little bit baffled by the show. I think they played one song that had this major, bright, shining moment that was a real welcome relief for me and I’ll always remember that moment. (sighs) It was a blissful change of pace from the rest of the set. But then that night, we all went back to the hostel and pretty much everybody that was in the common kitchen area had been at the Sigur Ros show and it was just full of people all the way from England, from Australia, Germany, and then us, all sorts of people. And we’re all talking about the show and drinking and laughing and I just remember it being the happiest I could ever remember being, by no exaggeration. After I was finally ready to call it a night, I was ready to cash out, it was after 2 in the morning and everyone was like “No, Don’t go!” and I was so elated that I didn’t even know how to respond to it, it was the greatest. I went back to my room, and turned on my phone and did an audio diary for like 20 minutes, and I don’t really do that but I wanted to let it make a deeper impression. It was such a good time.
HXH: So. let’s see. Can you describe your thoughts on infinity? KV: yeah, infinity is something that fascinates me. I don’t know where I read this, but there’s this theory…so, this is gonna get so hippie sounding (laughs). It’s fascinating and daunting to me, its something that I like to think about, because I think it puts your ego in a proper place. But, the universe expands outwardly into infinity, into infinite possibilities and infinite universes even. And inwardly, one cell in this fingertip on my hand is also a portal into the infinite universes that live just within that one cell on my body. There’s only so far that you can see inwardly and outwardly in a human capacity, technology only takes you so far, but it just keeps going, there’s always another level and layer to it. And that’s really nice when you’re thinking, “Ah man, this girl doesn’t like me”, or “goddam I gotta do my taxes” or whatever causes stress, and just be like, “Oh, I’m not even a piece of dust in this thing.” So for me to get all up in a bunch about anything, just seems a bit ridiculous. HXH: Who would you consider some of your bigger influences? KV: For Vacationer, it started out with me being deeply in love with Beach House and being deeply in love with LCD Soundsystem and I wanted to find the common ground between those two artists. I wanted to sort of be a bridge for those two things, stuff you can chill out to and dance to. So that was the very crude inspiration. I still do this when I’m cutting vocals for Vacationer, I just try to think of the girl from Beach House and how she would sing in and I try to put that windy thing in my voice anytime I’m singing this stuff, it’s a nice way to relax into the vocal. Then it’s grown into a lot of things, I found out about J Dilla from my collaborators on this project and then the whole world of hip-hop, namely instrumental hip hop has become something of an obsession for me. And also, Curtis Mayfield, a lot of 1970’s funk soul jazz record stuff, I’ve gotten really heavy into. Then there’s some super psychedelic stuff like Lonnie Liston Smith. He’s got some really out-there, groovy stuff, sort of like a Sun Ra vibe to it at times but it’s very cool. Some other stuff, like Roy Ayers. And then some exotica stuff like Martin Denny, and then brazilian music, like Joao Gilberto. and some jazz heads like Milt Jackson. I like a bit of quirkiness in the music. I think that’s where a lot of beauty in music comes from, having a little bit of, “Why that?”… David Byrne has become something of a hero. He’s really ringing my bell with pretty much everything he’s done. Even when he gets into the sort of 80’s reggae stuff, there’s a layer of cheese to it, but there’s David in their adding these angles that make it art. So I try to take as many cues from that guy’s outlook as I can. He’s got an interesting take on music, where it’s not so literal all the time. has become something of a hero. He’s really ringing my bell with pretty much everything he’s done. Even when he gets into the sort of 80’s reggae stuff, there’s a layer of cheese to it, but there’s David in there adding these angles that make it art. So I try to take as many cues from that guy’s outlook as I can. He’s got an interesting take on music, where it’s not so literal all the time.
Five tips on how to be a good chiller 1 First off, get your sleep. For me, I can only go off of personal experience. I am sure there are others that chill better than me but, I’m a novice and I do enjoy my chilling. My sleep is very important to me. I try not to oversleep these days. Before I left for tour, I was doing this experiment where I was trying to wake up at 7’o’clock everyday and..it never happened (laughs), but I was still making an effort to not sleep the day away. I try for between 6-8 hours. I think 6 or 7 hours is perfect and I can be ready to pop out of bed. But if you let me, I can sleep until like 1:30 in the afternoon and then the day isn’t much of anything after that because it’s very groggy. sleep is great.
2 If you’re a coffee person, make yourself some good coffee and a good breakfast. I’m sort of in a breakfast
taco addiction lately. If I’m home, I’m making a breakfast taco in the morning. And I’ll put on a Joao Gilberto record or something Brazilian. Because for some reason, Brazilian music in the morning, while I’m having coffee is just the best. It’s like, when that happens, I dare you to try to have a bad day, when you start by sitting sipping on coffee and making a breakfast taco and listening to these pretty words that you don’t even know what they mean. I like my coffee as black as the night sky.
3 If it’s not hailing, just go outside. You don’t have to go hiking or camping, it’s just good to get out of your
box and not stare at the same walls that you usually stare at. Getting outside and feeling some wind, and just smelling the air. This guy right here [pointing to his dog] teaches me a lot about what it is to chill. Because he’s in a blissful place just licking his foot right now. If I just say “Do you wanna go outside?”, his ears perked up, he’s like “YEAH!” There’s something about just being out there and all he does is smell stuff. he just “is” outside and loves it. He’s a nice excuse to get out there, I’m not just strolling aimlessly, I’m on a task. But he just wants to stop and smell stuff and it teaches you to have a little patience and just look around and check stuff out. So he’s turned the habit into even when I’m out on tour and not with him, I will google the closest record store and just skateboard there and rifle through the dollar bins or something. maybe I find something, maybe I don’t, but it’s great just getting out and having the experience.
4 This is also going to come off a little bit hippie, but forgiving yourself and other people even for the most
minor thing. Like “that guy didn’t put his turn signal on” or “my brother hasn’t talked to me in three months”, whatever it is. It’s just important not to get hung up on grudges towards anything. And this is another sort of hippie quote, but anger is like holding a hot coal, it really only hurts you. Letting go of that coal is another good way to be chill.
5 Everything is absurd. If you look at life like an absurd Jerry Lewis kind of comedy. It’s pretty entertaining, it’s pretty fun. It’s heartbreaking sometimes, you know, but it’s always going to be. If you look at life like it’s an absurd game, it’s easier to be relaxed.
MATT SCHWARTZ IS AN INCREDIBLY ACCOMPLISHED PHOTOGRAPHER, EXPLORING THE DREAMLIKE STATE BETWEEN LIFE AND FILM. HE OFTEN USES POLAROIDS AND ALLOWS THE MEDIUM TO BE INTERACTIVE, WITH AN UNPLANNED CURVE HERE OR THERE TO EXPAND THE NARRATIVE. HE HAS TAKEN PHOTOGRAPHS AROUND THE WORLD AND HAS also recently had work picked up by the famed and phenomenal Milk Gallery in NYC. Previous spread (left top) “fingertips” An unposed moment of beauty (left bottom) “airplane window (peru) Above Peru (right) ”no words, just colors” Thankfully this guy stayed here for a while. I was able to take some Polaroids and film shots. No words for how this image peeled. Perfect blue streaks. Above “the Lens filled with summer” A pic that I shot in prospect park, Brooklyn Ny……as winter became summer……just because it was supposed to. My favorite silhouette I’ve taken of a nude . Shot on film. Right (top) “surf cow (Ecuador)” Cows on the beach in Ecuador. I thought this may have been a dream, though I just went back there this month and found them again. A picture that makes everyone smile. Right (bottom) “boy + girl” One of the first Polaroids that I took of Surfing. Shot in Long Beach NY. I learned to shoot surfing as I learned to surf. I initially brought the camera with me to capture the beauty for myself and possibly learn from the image
HXH: How did you decide on “She Hit Pause” as a name for your company/studio? MS: Before photography took over my life I was playing a lot of music and had filled close to a hundred notebooks with words/lyrics. One of the lines in a song was “she hit pause”, referring to someone I was dating that came into my life and stopped all of the noise,motion and made everything around me stop. This is what a photograph is to me. Pausing and tape recording the temperatures, smells and age of a scene or someone forever. HXH: “She Hit Pause” has an element of narrative to it that seems to translate directly to your photography...The narrative seems to develop in a dream-like way, expanding from a single scene to a whole range of possibilities in the mind... I can look at one of the girls on a surfboard and yet the way she is captured leads me to think about her as a character in a story more than a model...I start thinking about what music she might listen to or what she might be doing next. How do you develop narrative? Is that intended or more of a happy consequence? MS: I’m psyched with your interpretation of the work. I sometime go in with no ideas and try to vibe off the person that I am shooting. Other times I go into a shoot with my van filled with a drum set, $225 of gumballs, 3 bags of clothes and end up only using an image of the person lips. I do have certain visual stories in my mind that I want to exist on film. I am trying to dance with the person on the other side of the lens and keep up with them, whether it is a model or a surfer. I want to take a photo that equals the beauty I am seeing. As much as possible I try to not photograph “models”. Up until recently it has been mainly fiends or people that own my work. As things have grown and I have started shooting for a few bands and designers this has changed, though still staying true to my voice as a photographer. For some reason early on, I wanted the subjects in my photos to be a little mysterious yet attainable. I like the aspect of creating something that can make someone smile or think beautiful thoughts. HXH: What first excited you about instant photography and Polaroids? MS: The fact that I can hold something physical in my hand while still experiencing the high of the moment. Waiting for film to be developed after a great shoot is sometimes painful. HXH: What cameras/film do you typically use? 4x5 Polaroid Land Camera 8x10 Large Format Polaroid Camera Nikon N-90 (35mm Film) Canon D3100 (digital) HXH: Though polaroids seem to be a happy niche, do you also shoot in other film/digitally as well? MS: Yes, I shoot slide film, 35mm film and digital. It depends where I am, what the shoot is for and what I want as a finished product. I have said a lot of what I want to say with polaroids, so experimenting more and more with other mediums. HXH: Despite the initial image being “instant”, you are often elaborating on that process..Can you tell us a little bit about how you translate your photography into different applications and techniques like photo transfers? MS: For most of my art I start out with an 8x10 Polaroid. I take a Polaroid, pull it out of the camera and peel apart the film. I then rub the image onto wet water color paper and let it develop for a few minutes. I then pull the image off and all of the dyes have transferred from the film to the water color paper. It is called a Polaroid transfer. HXH: How does travel affect and inspire your work? MS: Travel is a huge inspiration for my work. In the past few years I have been fortunate to shoot in Brazil, Costa Rica (4x), Dominican Republic, Peru, Turks + Caicos , Hawaii, Puerto Rico (5x), Ecuador (2x), Portugal. Being able to travel is my definition of success. It is also really rad to come home from a shoot and sell some work from the shoot that pays for all of the travel.
In the Corner of the Sand “I took this photograph on a rare day when I told myself I was not going to take any photographs. It was supposed to be my day to observe and just take things in without a camera. I was walking on the beach in California and saw her lying there alone but not lonely. I saw this angle in my mind before the lens and ended up taking one of my favorite photographs of the year”
Girl With Plane “Probably my favorite image of all time. Caught between beauty, playfulness and erotic. This is my definition of what happens when everything comes together poetically.”
portugal skate park
silence + its blue wall
ecudaor cotton candy
skating in white (california)
three blues
happy happy (puerto rico)
HXH: Favorite trip? MS: This is a tough one. Each trip has had it’s awesome moments. Lately I’ve been really digging Puerto Rico. I just went on a solo trip a few weeks ago and it turned into a week long meditation on chilling out + just being. There was no internal pressure to capture every beautiful moment, as I have taken so many images there in the past, that I just allowed myself to walk through and be a part of the beauty. I still took about 1000 pics, though don’t remember really shooting on thistrip. HXH: Women and waves both continue to captivate across the world of course, but what draws you to the subject matter you choose? MS: It’s crazy how prominent it has gotten the last few years. Obviously women have always been a popular subject for photography/art , though surfing has gotten out of control. I think Chanel even made a surfboard and total random brands that have no connection to surfing have boards in their stores as part of their displays. It’s really lame and funny. I have always photographed my girlfriends and girls that I was friends with. Capturing beauty and ideally adding to that beauty is my highest high. It is also a challenge for me to photograph a beautiful girl, as it is almost too easy. I need to see what I can add that is as beautiful as the girl. It’s a secret contest. I started photographing surfers when I was learning how to surf 7-8 years ago. I wanted to take pics just for myself. I never knew there were “surf artists” or thought about the idea of becoming a surf photographer. I was kind of learning how to surf through the lens. I equate the beauty I find in surfing to the beauty I find listening to a song or watching ballet. HXH: What makes Brooklyn home? Why NYC? MS: Ha ha. As of last year Brooklyn is no longer home. I was still selling my work there up until a few weeks ago. Brooklyn has been awesome for me creatively and has been really supportive of my work. I still really dig it, though needed a break from everything and more space. I would sometimes have huge rolls of bubble wrap for shipping work that would take up my entire living room. At one point I had 3 storage units for supplies and my apartment. I am now living in these artist lofts in Beacon, NY. It is about an hour upstate from the city. I have a ton of space to skateboard around the loft, store random props, use it for a studio and take awesome scooter rides through the mountains. It is like the wild west compared to Brooklyn. No scene and few rules. The physical space has been nice for my mental space. After going hardcore with my work for the past 8-9 years I am regrouping and planning my next goals. HXH: Any tips for young artists/creatives? MS: Don’t listen to anyone, even me. I was told by everyone that I needed a digital camera 10 years ago if I wanted to be a successful or working photographer. The fact that I did what I wanted to do stood out more than everyone looking for megapixels. Creativity has nothing to do with your equipment. Buy whatever you can afford and make it work. Have your own voice as an artist. This kind of just happens hopefully by default. Don’t force anything. It needs to flow naturally or out of the absolute need to create. Don’t go to art school. HXH: Best post-surf meal? Fresh fish kabob + guava and cheese empanada HXH: Favorite breakfast joint in Brooklyn? Favorite break? MS: I love Cafe LuLuc on Smith street. They have the most insane pancakes and mushroom/asiago omelette. My mouth is literally watering thinking about it. One huge thing I miss about Brooklyn, the food. My favorite surf spot closest to Brooklyn, would be Long Beach. I imagine because it is where I learned how to surf. A big part of surfing to me is travel and tropical beaches. It may be that I want to see beauty as I’m still not really surfing. See more from Matt at @shehitpausestudios on instragram and at www.shehitpausestudios.com
photo by molly donahue
Helado Negro
is Roberto Carlos Lange. Bad Liz first found his album “awe Ome” in the discount bin at criminal records. We thought it was phenomenal and listened to it on repeat only to later realize our friend Jason Trammell was credited with playing drums on that record and over time we watched our helado negro story unfold with several small coincidences of good people knowing good people and roberto finding great beauty in collaborative efforts. when we actually met roberto he was helping us get in to see his album release party at former glasslands gallery, in support of “Invisible Life”. Time has passed and new albums have been made, but the spell of his warm and inviting music and spirit has proven to the same effect, since we’ve had “Double youth” it’s been on repeat nonstop as well. we can’t seem to take our ears or eyes away.
photo by anna groth-shive His recent performance project, Island Universe story, has led him to be the frontman of a brilliant ensemble of musician friends. We were lucky enough to catch a preview version at Massmoca, and the ensemble was also expanded to perform for a sold-out crowd in St. Paul, Minnesota this past march. when asked about the process, Roberto explained, “We’ve all worked together from the beginning of this project, Helado Negro, since 2009. And an aspect of this project is called Island Universe Story, which is derived from this series of musical pieces that I’ve made. So we’ve played together, written together and gone through all kinds of things together.....there’s Nothing better than having your friends around.” Indeed. And his friends seem equally enthused to be working with his music. Jason Ajemian who plays bass elaborated, saying, “I think the question was sort of translating Roberto’s process as an acoustic instrument, such as a bass, which requires room. Dance music doesn’t require room, it’s a signal. so a lot of people want me to play stand-up bass on things, but it doesn’t really work out because it creates a different space. I think Roberto’s extremely special in being able to see that vision, in writing strings in dance music and finding a way to make those things work without taking over or going somewhere and getting too harmonic and too crazy. All these people feel music. And when we deal with the strings, it gets a lot more rhythmic...Roberto has these loops that are really dynamic but they’re hard to figure out harmonically (imitates warbled sounds and laughs)...its this ever-morphing kind of situation and that’s being put out by different people and how people communicate that is exciting.” In the searching for camaraderie and collaboration, roberto also developed and hand-built a set of costumes from silver tinsel, made to swivel and sway and glisten along to his rhythms but they can be worn by individuals in any city he visits. Though normally a solo performer, Roberto, “started developing this idea of working with these costumes that [HE] built and as a form of staging, to think about everything in an economical way, even just transportation, and people have lives,” expressing the difficulty in creating a touring troupe. Ever the creative, he went on to find a way to use the costumes as a unifying element between shows on the tour but also as a way to connect to individual people in those cities. He went on to say, “I made these costumes by hand in Mexico City for the show. And I was just thinking of a way to bring people’s focus to the stage. Since I’m singing and I’m up there by myself. So that’s where it started. I’m an amateur performance artist and still learning about choreography. So I’ve been doing this on the road for 50 shows and choreographing volunteers in each city I go to. I just call them up and figure out who can get there.” I was able to include myself in that remotely connected collection of tinsel people by donning the costume in asheville along with my friend meg Snead (also featured in this issue). I found the experience to be a bit otherworldly and trance-like.
polaroid above and photo below from a performance at glasslands gallery (photo by maggie hayes)
With the costume hooded, we let our heads tilt down so the tinsel would hang over our faces and we did the subtle choreographies to match his music. It was hard not to want to dance but that impulse was exceeded by the physical challenge being relatively still. I was standing beneath one of the stage lights and felt the heat cooking me like a baked potato in the foil costume. Methodically rolling my shoulders side to side and moving into the sequence of five different variations that was maintained for the duration of the set. It was truly a very sensory and beautiful experience despite only being able to see the edges of a bit of mirrored foil reflecting the lights in front of my face, somehow all the effort was exceedingly worthwhile, having the vibrations of the sounds lift up through my shoes from standing on the stage. roberto is a man of great vision and that is something that many people are able to get behind, lending to the collaborative nature of his performances despite the solo nature of his composing. When your friends can recognize that the vision will exceed the individual nature of the parts, and then truly trust that, It’s a magical thing. Roberto is bilingual and many of his lyrics emerge in spanish in minimalistic poetry. When asked if he has a preference for singing in either language, he responded, “english or spanish? I don’t prefer either, I don’t have a preference. I started out singing in spanish, because there was an intimacy for me...The way I write lyrics, I’m thinking about the lyrics as sounds and building a melody. So I find the word, and the word is there and sometimes its in spanish and sometimes its in english. and from that word, there’s some abstract concepts that start building and then the lyrics pile in on top of each other one after another. and that ends up happening and then I’ll be like, “Oh, that song is about this.” and then two years later, I’m like, “that’s not what it’s about”(Laughs)... He also went on to say that, “Music is whatever you take from it, that’s the expectation for me. everyone feels it a lot differently. I think if you want to figure something out, you kinda dig into it a little bit more, right? If it’s not on the surface and you’re really interested in it.” The discovery is at least half of the fun with Helado Negro sounds. He clarifies with saying, “The spanish words are so lyrical in and of itself. we were talking about the word, “the” and it’s like “the” is so important in english, but to say it in a musical sentence...there’s two consonants and then a vowel at the end. there’s two informational aspects of the word and then you get the emotional part way at the end and there’s no time for that (laughs).” For anyone familiar, “The” becomes “La” or “El” in spanish based on gender, and then you can start to understand the small discrepancies there might be between using a different language to express something that you feel, There’s already a story and character written in. Jason Trammell, another frequent collaborator shared humorous anecdotes of rehearsals in which he had no real understanding of the lyrical content, but HE stated THAT “BECAUSE ROBERTO IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, I feel the songs whether I know what they mean or not.”
polaroid of meg, roberto and maggie in asheville, taken by jason trammell
PHOTO by anna groth-shive
in short... Do you remember your dreams? Case to case, day to day, morning to morning something worth going out for? Sharing an experience Something worth staying in for? Sharing an experience Favorite Trip? The St. Paul’s performance. working, making music, spending time with a lot of people that I love, it was great crunchy or creamy: creamy Do you have a sweet tooth? I do..candy, chocolate, definitely ice cream. Why brooklyn is better than miami? The ability to walk everywhere Why Miami is better than brooklyn? Having my family there best cup of coffee in your neighborhood? I’m not an authority on the best coffee, but I love to go to this spot Little Zelda’s salt or pepper? pepper earth, wind, or fire? The whole band! Earth, Wind and Fire definitely.
a walk on the wild side /// britt andrews
Medersa Ben Youssef, I stumbled upon while I was lost one day in the medina of Marrakesh, Morocco
mixed media, model Ulla Lauska, shot in NYC
Up In Flames, mixed media (model Bri shot in NYC)
Saint Wutever, detail of the statue saints that shadow over the small streets of Santa Maria de Montserrat Abbey, in Spain
Lone Tree, Storm King, New York
Fuck Off, *with love from Berlin*
caged in Croatia
Model Bri shot in nyc
detail of paris from a ferris wheel
model Taylor Lashae, shot in NYC
REXEDOG IS a DOG that’s name is
Philadelphia based neo-freak-rock band, Rexedog, consists of members Dan “Hint of Balsamic” Cole, Colin “Brad Pitt” MacFarlane, and Dan “Bogan” Bogan. These dudes grew up side by side in Collingswood, NJ and have been making wild and crazy tunes and times together for forever ever. On a rainy afternoon in Brooklyn at a bar of his choosing, I sat down with the man howling away behind the mic, the one and only Dan Cole. Aside from being one of my favorite people in the universe to hang out with, Dan’s got a lot going for him. He’s one of those people that everyone refers to as their full name... as in, “there’s no Dan without the Cole.” He assists prominent NY based artist, Polly Apfelbaum with her works and installations. He’s a master at the digital world of art, championing at everything from poster design to video editing. He also has a very impressive collection of hanging plants, commonly referred to by those close to him as “Magic World.” Fearless when back bending and just as fearless when wearing sheer peach button ups, Dan can’t help but kill it on all fronts. It’s been two years now since Rexedog played their first show at House of Hayes, opening up for Detroit “trop gothers” Jamaican Queens. Needless to say, HXH has been crushing on them ever since, but we think it’s mutual. Fingers crossed. HXH: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your bed? DC: Really dirty confetti. One time, my roommate Ly and I were had a confetti war. This was a long time ago. My friend Mike and I made this huge confetti bomb and dropped it in her room and apparently she didn’t clean it up for like weeks. Finally, she swept up all the confetti but there was all this dirt in there too. So, one day she just dumps it in my bed while I’m sleeping… actually someone else was in the bed with me too. It was just absolutely disgusting. I couldn’t ever get all the way rid of it. In fact, I still have dirty confetti in some of my things. HXH: Sounds like how they say “you can never get rid of glitter…” DC: Oh yea, same thing. HXH: If you could only keep one of your senses what would it be? DC: Ears… for hearing. HXH: When you’re not making music, what are your hands covered in? DC: Printer menstruation! HXH: That time of the month for the printer? DC: Oh it was, and it still is… and I don’t know what to do. So I’m trying to clean it out, so I put this solution that cleans it out, but it’s dyed red so you can do checks to see if it’s working, but I put way too much ink and the printer just overflowed with it which is why my hands are pink right now. HXH: Would you be fired if anyone found out? DC: Oh no, it’s my own printer. I spent a lot of money on it so this is actually worse than being fired HXH: Would you rather make out with a bearded Lindsay Lohan or a clean-shaven Zach Galifinakis? DC: Whoa, whoa... oh god, both are so unappealing…. from like a base level. If it was just plain Zach and Lindsay Lohan, it would still be a hard decision. I guess bearded Lindsay would have to be the choice. If Zach Galifinakis shaved, I wouldn’t be that amused by it, but if Lindsay Lohan really had a beard and tried to kiss me, I’d have to it. Like how could you not? HXH: Most exciting Christmas/bday present ever? DC: Well I don’t get birthday presents, so... favorite Christmas present. Ok, I got it but it’s not that exciting. It was one of those robotic lego sets, the ones with the motors that you can program on the computer. I wanted it so bad and I was like “I’ll never get that!! It’s too crazy” and then I got it. HXH: What’s something you take very seriously? DC: I feel like there’s gotta be a good answer for this, because if I can’t answer this question there’s something very wrong with me, so you gotta give me a minute so I can find it.... The only things I take seriously are things that are striving to be correct, but they’re not. Things that want to be right but can never be.
HXH: Who are your music/art/cool guy heroes? You get one per slash. DC: Music... gonna have to go with Kate Bush. Art hero... Richard Morgan. Cool guy hero... Bjork. Bjork’s cool as fuck. Kate Bush wasn’t that cool. HXH: Favorite superhero DC: I wasn’t that into superheroes, but I’d have to go Charizard HXH: Favorite super villain DC: I was way more into super villains, so this is gonna be harder. Charizard was kind of a villain... in his own way. I’m gonna go with the one who scared me the most genuinely. Like literally I was horrified by Ursula and the T Rex in Jurassic Park. HXH: Where does the name “Rexedog” come from? DC: Remember Limp Bizcuit? Well they were named after Fred Durst’s dog, Biscuit... after he got neutered he was “limp biscuit.” So back when Rexedog started when I was like... 13, me and Colin were really into Limp Bizkit and decided to name our band after my dog, Rex. So we were Rexedog and that was just it, and we’ve never been able to change it. We try changing it, frequently... but there’s nothing else it can be. HXH: Are you afraid of death or is life scarier? DC: I’m not afraid of death, but I don’t wanna die. I feel like I’ve lived a pretty good life so I’m not wishing for it. I’m a disappointingly happy person. HXH: Who would play you in a movie? DC: Jim Carrey HXH: Who would write your biography? DC: Colin would... he knows it best. HXH: What were you in a past life? DC: A dog... I was a puppy. HXH: If you got a tattoo, what would it be? DC: Until this morning, I always thought I would get a tattoo artist to shave a part of the back of my head and tattoo whatever they wanted. I would never know what it was and I would never tell anyone about it so it would just always be there on the back of my head as this mystery. But then I got to thinking it would probably drive me crazy, I would probably just kill someone. But my new favorite tattoo that won’t make me homicidal is getting really cool, Baroque-style, hatched armpit hair tattooed on my armpits. Wouldn’t that be beautiful? I think it would be gorgeous. HXH: What would you do if I gave you $100,000,000,000 right now? Cash? DC: I’m so cheap I would probably buy 100,000,000,000 things. HXH: Have you ever been in a fist fight? DC: Not that I remember. Colin’s punched me in the face before but I don’t know if I fought back. Allegedly, my friend Mike and I got into a fist fight recently. I woke up spitting up blood and was like “well... what happened?” HXH: Have you ever had your heart broken? DC: Oh yea! Do you know me? I’m often heart broken. I’ll never know Bjork. HXH: Favorite album ever DC: My FIRST favorite album, that remains a favorite but I wouldn’t say is the best, was the Gorillaz self-titled. 2001. HXH: New music worth hearing DC: I listen to a lot of newer stuff but it doesn’t get me right away... it takes a while. I feel like the ones that feel new to me take some time to grow on me... but I gotta say an active artist right now worth hearing, hands down... Janelle Monae. I can’t say confidently about anyone else that they fucking slay it. She destroys, she’s a ridiculous monster. HXH: What’s your favorite place in the whole world that you’ve ever been? DC: The two times in my life that I’ve listened to Pink Floyd “Live in Bombay” in the auditorium they played it, sitting right where they played it. Because it is EXACTLY like the video and you’re just there... and you listen to it...
HXH: #1 place you just gotta go DC: To the SPCA to adopt a dog HXH: What would you change if you had a do-over? DC: Do-over button? Not buy this printer. HXH: Favorite olympic event? DC: Javelin at people... 100% HXH: Rules are for _______? Babes are for _________? DC: Rules are for prudes, babes are for WOO! Babes are for Dan and rules are not. MARRY/FUCK/KILL HXH: Martin Scorcese/Stephen Spielberg/Woody Allen? DC: In lieu of recent events, gotta kill Woody Allen. Martin Scorsese would be fucked and gotta go with Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Jurassic Park for the win... marry Spielberg. HXH: Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera/Mandy Moore? DC: Unfortunately Britney... gotta go with kill. Mandy was in that cool movie with McCauly Kaulkin where she plays a bitchy, popular girl at a Catholic school... “Saved”... gonna fuck her. Marry Christina HXH: Bill Murray/Tom Hanks/Jim Carrey? DC: Have to marry Bill Murray, guess I would fuck Jim Carrey and def kill Tom Hanks. HXH: Nicki Minaj/Rihanna/Iggy Azalea? DC: I don’t even know the difference between them. I know what Iggy Azalea looks like and she’s gross. I would fuck Rihanna, because she’s actually attractive. I guess I would have to marry Nicki Minaj because Iggy Azalea’s the definite kill, but Nicki is also really gross. Actually, gonna marry Rihanna, even though I know nothing about her, she’s by far the cutest one. HXH: Beyonce/Kelly/Michelle? DC: Oh dude! Marry Beyonce, fuck Kelly, and Michelle... I’m sorry, I don’t want to kill you, but the writing’s on the wall. HXH: John/George/Paul? DC: You can’t even publish this, because people are gonna hate me. HXH: Oh my god... you’re gonna kill John. DC: I mean, I would marry Paul... definitely, no question. Fuck George... and yes, kill John. HXH: Lebron James/Kobe Bryant/Michael Jordan? DC: Oh I’m marrying Michael, definitely. I know literally nothing about Kobe Bryant, the only thing I know about Lebron is that meme of him making a ridiculous face, so I’m gonna kill him for his own personal gain. Michael’s gone bald but he’s rocking it and sexy as fuck, so I’m gonna marry him. HXH: Kanye/Jay-Z/Drake? DC: That’s even worse than the other one. Pass... HXH: Sinead O’Conn0r/Fiona Apple/Bjork? DC: Oh that is so easy. Kill Sinead, fuck Fiona, marry Bjork. So easy. HXH: Keith/Mick/Brian? DC: Marry Keith... or no no, marry Mick, fuck Keith, kill Brian. Oh and as far as the rapper question... I don’t like any of them. HXH: You would kill them all? DC: I would kill Kanye, Jay-Z, and fucking Drake.
photo by bad liz hayes