The Pulse 16.03 » January 17, 2019

VOL. 16, ISSUE 3 • JANUARY 17, 2019

Chattanooga Coffee: The Digits Behind the Demitasse The stories behind your morning cup of joe CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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FROM THE EDITOR VOLUME 16, ISSUE 3 • JANUARY 17, 2019

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher James Brewer, Sr. FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Jenn Webster City Editor Alex Curry Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Steven W. Disbrow Allan Duggar • Matt Jones Schandra Loveless • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Ray Zimmerman Editorial Intern Jason Dale Cartoonists Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin mike@brewermediagroup.com

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The Digits Behind the Demitasse Coffee. So much more than just a morning cup, the world-wide phenomenon is a financial powerhouse. According to the National Coffee Association, coffee-related economic activity comprises approximately 1.6 percent of the total U.S. GDP.

Account Executives Rick Leavell • Cindee McBride Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez

CONTACT Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2019 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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HIKING THE CUMBERLAND

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UNIQUE JAMES BRUNEAU

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Outdoor Chattanooga wants to help you fulfill your new year’s resolution to get outside and be more active in 2019 with their Cumberland Trail Hiking Series.

James Bruneau is best known for his iconic painted portraits of pop culture icons, and his outlook is as unique as his work, which is a delightful blend of realism and abstraction.

7 JUST A THEORY

CELEBRATORY GUNFIRE

Holiday Gunfire is set to release their debut, self-titled album on Friday, February 15th. The Alabama-based band is fairly new, but it is anything but a freshman debut.

CONSUMER ANALYSIS

Netflix has changed film as we know it. The company completely decimated the movie rental industry, essentially driving a multi-billion dollar powerhouse out of the market entirely.

17 MIXOLOGY

24 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

14 MUSIC CALENDAR

20 ARTS CALENDAR

25 JONESIN' CROSSWORD

16 MUSIC REVIEWS

23 NEW IN THEATERS

26 ON THE BEAT

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BEGINNINGS · CITY LIFE

Cons ider This w ith Dr. Rick

“Sometimes it takes only one clear voice in a sea of loud chatter to rise above the chaos and shift the planet back to center.” — author unknown Eleanor Roosevelt spoke about the importance of doing something every day that scares us. She was an historical figure who really used her voice…to benefit politics, women’s rights, human dignity, education, literature, personal growth and so much more.

For some people, using their voice is exactly the thing that scares them. Many folks, particularly in earlier generations, were taught to “speak only when spoken to,” and that “children should be seen and not heard.”

Old-fashioned ways for sure, but there are plenty of newer ways we are not encouraged to speak up.

Consider this: When you have something important to say, it’s a great shot in the arm for your self-esteem. You are worthy, your opinions matter, and it may just be you, speaking up clearly, above the noise, that makes the world a better place.

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

Hiking The Cumberland Get out and experience the great outdoors Outdoor Chattanooga wants to help you fulfill your new year’s resolution to get outside and be more active in 2019 with their Cumberland Trail Hiking Series.

Outdoor Chattanooga’s experienced guides will lead participants on short, section hikes—4 to 7 miles each—along the Cumberland Trail to explore unique geological formations, discover seasonal flora and fauna, and trek over creeks and across suspended bridges to the tops of ridges with waterfalls and scenic overlooks.

Outdoor Chattanooga has carefully selected the one-way hikes to be mostly downhill and will provide a shuttle to participants pre- or posthike to maximize the experience and unique miles covered.

The Cumberland Trail (CT) is a scenic footpath along the eastern edge of the Cumberland Plateau that begins in Chattanooga’s backyard on Signal Mountain.

Building and maintaining the CT is a grassroots effort driven by volunteers with the Cumberland Trail Conference (CTC). The trail is still under construction, but with 210 of the projected 300 miles completed,

there’s plenty of trail to explore.

Outdoor Chattanooga aims to connect participants with this scenic trail and encourage stewardship of Chattanooga’s local trails for continued access by offering nine different shortsection hikes throughout the year.

The guided hiking series begins on January 26 and concludes December 14, with all half-day hikes being offered on Saturdays. Registration is required in advance as space is limited in the shuttle vehicle. The CT is a remote trail over rugged terrain.

Outdoor Chattanooga requires participants to have some hiking experience and be in good physical shape to hike 4–7 miles continuously on sections rated as moderately strenuous. Participants under the age of 18 must be accompanied by a participating parent or responsible adult. Cost: Free. Bring your sense of adventure and join them for one

hike or the whole series!

Need more incentive to hike? Participants who complete hikes with Outdoor Chattanooga can earn credit toward the 50-miler award from the CTC, an honor few can claim. To earn the 50-miler award, individuals must complete 50 unique miles on the CT and 10 hours of service work with the CTC. For more information or to register, email info@OutdoorChattanooga.com, call (423) 643-6888, or visit outdoorchattanooga.com — Schandra Loveless

You know what goes with a good cup of coffee?

Books. Movies. Music. We buy, sell and trade.

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm 4 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

EDITOONS

Workshop With Writing Professionals Are you a writer? Do you want to become a writer? The Chattanooga Writers’ Guild has a unique opportunity for you to participate in their Winter Writers Workshop, which will include craft lectures and writing workshops in poetry, fiction, and literary nonfiction by celebrated workshop leaders, as well as additional award-winning Guild writers.

Featured presenters include fiction writers Charles Dodd White and Kate Landers, literary nonfiction writers Dana Shavin and John C. Mannone, and poets Bill Brown and KB Ballentine.

Lectures and workshops by invited speakers are scheduled so that all attendees will have an opportunity to hear them at least once. The schedule is also configured so that the morning session can be tailored to pure craft lecture or pure workshop or a multigenre mix.

And the day will conclude with a mass book signing and live musical entertainment.

The collection of writers and poets assembled for the workshop is quite impressive.

Charles Dodd White is the recipient of the Thomas and Lillie D. Chaffin Award for excellence in Appalachian Literature and a Jean Ritchie Fellowship from Lincoln Memorial University.

In 2018 he was inducted into the East Tennessee Writers Hall of Fame.

Kate Landers is a Gates-Thomas Award winner for her story “Bridges”, and received an Honorable Mention from the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators for her children’s story “We Go Together Like...”.

Dana Shavin’s essays have appeared

in Oxford American, Psychology Today, The Sun, Bark, The Writer, Writer’s Digest, Parade, and others. She has been a Lifestyle columnist for the Chattanooga Times Free Press since 2002, and she is the editor of the Chattanooga Jewish Federation newspaper, The Shofar.

John C. Mannone has work in literally dozens of publications, including The Southern Poetry Anthology (volume VII: NC), Negative Capability, Split Rock Review, Agave, Poetica Magazine, Synaesthesia, The Baltimore Review, Rose Red Review, and many others.

Bill Brown is the author of eleven poetry collections and was named a Distinguished Teacher in the Arts by The National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts, as well as being a two-time recipient of fellowships in poetry from the Tennessee Arts Commission.

KB Ballentine, a Chattanooga resident, teaches creative writing, theater arts, and literature to high school and college students.

The workshop with be held in the Humanities Building at Chattanooga State on Saturday, January 26 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. (and includes a box lunch, pastry, coffee, tea, and candies). To get more information or to register for the workshop, go to chattanoogawritersguild.org — Ray Zimmerman CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 5

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COLUMN · JUST A THEORY

It’s Never Aliens. Until It Is. Our resident science expert ponders the extraterrestrial premise

I Steven W. Disbrow Pulse columnist

“

Mostly, FRBs are found by going through old, recorded data, and their point of origin is hard to pin down. Our best guess is that they come from outside our galaxy.”

Steven W. Disbrow is the proprietor of “Improv Chattanooga” on the South Side of town. He also creates e-commerce systems and reads comic books when he’s not on stage acting like a fool.

TRY MY BEST TO KEEP THIS COLumn grounded in scientific fact. And I always try to go by the rule, “It’s never aliens.”

But, two different stories have been making the rounds the last month or so, and “aliens!” seems to be a possible (if remote) explanation for both. So, I thought I’d use this month’s column to take a look at these stories and see what’s really going on.

FAST RADIO BURSTS The SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) project has been going on for several decades now. Heck, you may have even participated yourself, through the “SETI at Home” project that uses the idle time of personal computers to analyze radio signals that have been recorded at various telescopes around the world.

(I have. It’s fun, and it’s still a thing!

Visit setiathome.berkeley.edu if you’d like to join the project.)

As of now, only a few truly interesting signals have been observed by SETI. Most have been shown to be “not aliens” and almost none have been known to repeat.

In 2001, however, something new and interesting was detected: a “fast radio burst” or FRB. The “radio burst” part is self-explanatory. These are signals that occur over a wide range of frequencies and last only a short time.

That’s where the “fast” part comes in.

These things last just a few milliseconds (that’s thousands of a second), or less.

Being so short, they have to be very intense to get noticed. And they are.

Mostly, FRBs are found by going through old, recorded data, and their point of origin is hard to pin down. Our best guess is that they come from outside our galaxy. So, they are fast, strong, and extremely far away.

As I said, they mostly have been found

by going through old data, but recently, a couple have been observed “live” as they washed over us.

Observations of these FRBs have backed up their extra-galactic origins, but that’s about it.

What we need are FRBs that repeat, but until recently, none of them did.

That changed in 2012 with the detection of an FRB in the northern sky that repeated several times over the course of several months. That FRB seems to have kept repeating, with additional signals from the same spot in 2017.

Now, in early 2019, it’s been announced that a second, repeating FRB source has been found. Not much is known about this one yet, but it’s good that a second “repeater” has been identified, as that should help us work out what these things are.

One totally serious suggestion is that these signals are “leakage” from insanely powerful communications devices that an alien civilization is using to transmit messages from one planet to another.

We just don’t have the tech (yet) to decode the messages.

Another suggestion is that these are propulsion waves used to push probes between the stars. They just happen to wash over us as they swing to align with the probes to propel them forward. And that brings us to our second “it’s aliens!” story.

OUMUAMUA: THE…SOLAR SAIL? Remember about a year ago when I told you about Oumuamua, the first interstellar object ever detected passing through our solar system? Well, we’ve

had some time to interpret the data from Oumuamua. That data has led to some very surprising conclusions from some very serious people.

Specifically, there’s a serious hypothesis that Oumuamua isn’t an asteroid or comet, but a solar sail! (For those of you who don’t remember, a solar sail is a thin, light, and big reflective surface that uses the pressure of starlight for propulsion.)

The evidence is pretty straightforward: When Oumuamua started moving away from the sun, it began to accelerate.

Now, a comet or asteroid will also accelerate, due to both the gravity assist it gets from the sun and from off-gassing as material evaporates due to the heat of the sun.

But Oumuamua showed no signs of off-gassing. In fact, the acceleration curve of Oumuamua matched up almost exactly with that of a solar sail about Oumuamua’s size.

So, was Oumuamua a probe, attached to a solar sail, pushed here by FRBs from an (almost certainly long dead at this point) alien civilization?

No. Absolutely not. Probably not.

Nope. Almost certainly not. No. That said, I wouldn’t object to a sending a probe of our own after it to find out.

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COVER STORY

Chattanooga Coffee: The Digits Behind the Demitasse The stories behind your morning cup of joe

C

OFFEE. SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A MORNING cup, the world-wide phenomenon is a financial powerhouse. According to the National Coffee Association, coffee-related economic activity comprises approximately 1.6 percent of the total U.S. GDP.

By Alex Curry Pulse City Editor

Wait…1.6 percent of the total Gross Domestic Product? Of the United States?

These numbers are staggering. A 225-billion-dollar industry in 2015 responsible for 1.6 million jobs and generating $28 billion in annual tax revenue. And this is all just in the United States.

More staggering yet is that these numbers are so high, yet almost all coffee beans are imported from other countries. (There are small coffee producers in Puerto Rico, Hawaii, California, etc., yet virtually all coffee in the USA comes from abroad.)

Let’s get it out of the way. Starbucks.

The mega-successful (and bitterly over roasted in my opinion) coffee juggernaut owns 39.8 percent of the market share in the United States. Starbucks boasts more than 28,000 locations worldwide. There are spots in airports where if you stand just right, you can see two Starbucks without even moving your head. But is it valid to hate on Starbucks? Enter the first gray area.

With these kinds of numbers, worldwide influence, and let’s face it, epidemic-level addiction to the drink, 8 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

massive socio-political issues surround the sourcing of the tiny beans that might as well be made of platinum.

Ethical sourcing—is it an important phrase? Does it mean anything? Is it a self-righteous buzz concoction with little actual influence in the world that just allows us to ignore the fact that we have it better than almost anywhere else on earth? How many hands touch your coffee before it goes in the cup?

This too, we’ll consider as we dip our toes into the surface of what it actually takes for us to fill our cups with the new version of black gold.

I was naive when I started writing this. I wanted to find answers. I foolishly thought I could talk to a few people and figure out what fair trade means and how much money is going to the farmer all the way across the world in Ethiopia. What does it mean to source ethically? Do we, as consumers, have a greater responsibility to the growers? These questions, as it turns out, may not be answered after a lifetime of dedication and research.

“I think ethical sourcing is quite important but hard to have a lot of faith in,” Sarah Brinkley tells me. “There are certain certifications that have a better reputation but can be very

costly to the farmer and can be corrupted by people who try to cheat the system.”

Sarah is a native Chattanoogan and Ph.D. student at Texas A&M in the Horticultural Sciences Department, where she studies how the environment affects coffee quality with the Center for Coffee Research Education. It’s a gray world even to her.

Another statistic for you. It’s projected that by 2050, coffee production will decrease by 50 percent while consumption will double. Let’s take a moment to consider the ramifications of such an idea.

“Younger farmers are dipping out on coffee farming altogether because it isn’t economically viable,” says Michael Rice, founder of Mad Priest Coffee Roasters.

Farmers, faced with economic burden, are migrating to cities in hopes of a better life. These supplier shifts, mixed with drastically changing climates in prime coffee growing regions, make statistics like this a harsh reality for the people who grow the beans that we all love so much.

When asked about ethical sourcing, Michael gives me an answer that’s about an hour long, yet barely scratches the surface of the interconnected complexities of the question.

“On the surface level as a customer, you’ll never find the real answers,” he explains.

There are lots of buzzwords that make it seem like beans are being responsibly sourced, but in reality, there is a massive lack of clarity on what ethical sourcing means.

“There is a direct correlation between coffee growth, conflict, and displacement,” continues Michael. “Why is that?”

Every ethics based question that I asked while researching for this article just left me with ten more questions that would also end up unanswered.

Every corner turned is another gray

“

Chattanooga will soon have an incredibly special coffee from Yemen.

The extremely rare bean from the war-ravaged country is said to be some of the best in the world.” alleyway, an endless labyrinth that seems to expand without limit.

Michael summed up how I felt: “I wish we could be more honest about the gray zone and be okay with that.

We don’t need to be comfortable with it, but we need to constantly be in the place of being challenged and accepting of the ambiguity and gray area of coffee.”

But hold on, what am I doing wrong here? This was supposed to be about how exciting coffee is and how many cool things are happening. I have tens of thousands of additional words to write about ethics, but I’m already more than halfway through and I haven’t said anything positive.

For instance, Chattanooga will soon have an incredibly special coffee from Yemen. The extremely rare bean from the war-ravaged country is said to be some of the best in the world. At a

staggering $180 per pound, it is in the company of exceptional wines. Grown at over 8,000 feet of elevation, the beans have a unique ecosystem unlike anywhere else on earth, resulting in fruity notes of blackberry and citrus with a sweet, buttery body.

“Yemen has always been a special place for me,” says Ian Goodman of Goodman Coffee Roasters. “The country is intriguing as an origin and they have a deep history in coffee.

Proceeds from our lot helped fund a school there, which supplied clean water, among other things.”

Goodman is exceptionally excited about this roast and has dreams of eventually traveling to Yemen to visit the region. Stay tuned in the coming months on how to get yourself a taste of what may be the greatest coffee on earth.

“I love getting to know the people CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 9

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COVER STORY and the things they are doing,” continues Goodman. “Last year I did an origin trip to Guatemala. We help fund and support a scholarship program that focuses on young girls and their education all the way through college. The girls don’t tend to do a lot of schooling and have less opportunity than the boys, so we focus on scholarships for them.”

This kind of involvement drives farmers to produce better coffee. Ian plans to do an origin trip every year and has massive involvement in the entire process of coffee, from farm to cup. Ian is a proponent of good coffee and has constantly pushed education. Goodman will begin offering a more high-end line of coffee for people interested in diving deeper into the magical fruit.

“Coffee is the cheapest luxury item in the world,” Goodman notes. “The amount of man hours that go into getting coffee, even to me, is staggering.

All good coffees are handpicked and often sorted by hand for size and color.

A hundred hands may touch your coffee before it even gets to the roaster.

“Coffee is hard work. It takes around 2,000 cherries to make a pound of coffee. A bag weighs over 150 pounds and these guys sling bags around all day long.”

I see the bags sitting all around his roaster and they certainly do look heavy. He shows me a video from his trip to the coffee farm of the workers

“

We need to buy from other places that are underrepresented and we need to stop being afraid to talk about it. By participating in a newer region, you help that region develop its abilities.” moving the massive coffee bags. No surprise, they are not wearing comfy hiking boots and Carhartts.

What about that roast from Myanmar that I’ve been seeing all over social media? Myanmar, formerly known as Burma, is typically only known for its decades-long history of British imperial rule, civil unrest, ethnic cleansing, and global isolationism. Why bother with a coffee from such a complicated place?

“To make an impact in the industry, we have to think through how to participate in other levels,” explains Michael Price. “We need to buy from other places that are underrepresented and we need to stop being afraid to talk about it. By participating in a newer region, you help that region develop its abilities.”

Mad Priest uses Atlas Coffee Importers for this and many other of their

green beans. The coffee was initially rating in the high 70 to low 80 range (not very good), but within a year, they were able to flip the coffee to a staggering 90-point rating.

“It speaks to how a seemingly impossible task can be achieved through intense drive and dedication,” Micheal says. Mad Priest is also featuring a coffee from Burundi, another unique source.

Want to learn more about coffee?

Mad Priest is hosting an educational series of conversations and classes.

Discussions of ethics, sourcing, tasting, how to brew, and more will be on offer. Check out their Facebook page for more information.

Oh yeah, Starbucks. Can you name an employer with a more diverse workforce or customer base? Or that pumps more money into coffee farms around the world? The giant may very well be the most diverse company on earth. Michael turned me onto this otherwise very obvious idea.

I still don’t like their coffee.

Alex Curry has explored the world as an entertainment technician and traveler. During his three-year stint working in Asia, he fell in love with the cultural and culinary delights of the world.

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THE MUSIC SCENE

Holiday Gunfire That's Worth Celebrating Alabama foursome rocks out with debut album A Voice Of Pure Americana Songbirds North, in the Choo Choo Entertainment Complex, has been bringing a wide variety of performers to town since they opened in 2017.

This Friday evening is no exception, as Caitlin Canty and the Oshima Brothers headline a night of original Americana music.

With a voice as pure as a robin greeting the dawn of a new day, Canty’s music carves a line through folk, blues, and country ballads.

Her voice was called “casually devastating” by the San Francisco Chronicle and NPR Music describes her songs as having a “haunting urgency”.

Her third album, Motel Bouquet, was recorded live over three days in Nashville. The album boasts a band of some of finest musicians in roots music, including fiddler Stuart Duncan and vocalist Aoife O’Donovan.

Raised in a musical family in rural Maine, Sean and Jamie Oshima have honed a harmony-rich blend of contemporary folk and acoustic pop. On stage, they create a surprisingly full sound with dynamic vocals, electric and acoustic guitars, octave bass, loops, and percussion.

Together, Canty and the Oshima Brothers will fill Songbirds North with rich harmonies, intricate melodies, fantastic musicianship, and some good old-fashioned fun.

— Michael Thomas

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

“

The songs are lush in their arrangement, as though guitars, vocals, drums, and bass are bleeding in to each other’s microphones”

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H

OLIDAY GUNFIRE IS SET TO RELEASE THEIR DEBUT, self-titled album on Friday, February 15th. The Alabamabased band is fairly new, coming together in 2017, but it is anything but a freshman debut.

To the contrary, the album has all the spit and polish of a seasoned group of road dogs who’ve played together long enough to anticipate their bandmates’ moves almost preternaturally.

This eerie synchronization comes as absolutely no shock at all as Michael Williams, Jason Hamric, Craig Cervaolo, and Lester Nuby III have been friends for a long time.

Likewise, each has made a name for himself in the music business.

In hindsight, it seems like a classic, “Well what you took you so long?” moment. When the four gathered for a Fourth of July celebration in which they, as musicians are wont to do, engaged in some adult beverages, explosives and firepower, they birthed the idea of Holiday Gunfire and set to writing and recording songs.

The result is a sound that, to my ear, encompasses the best of The Who when that band was at the

“

Literally everything about the album seems to be about the collective, right down to the liner notes and promotional materials failing to mention who plays what.” top its game. There are plenty of other comparisons to be made—they have been likened to Fugazi elsewhere and there are certainly some elements of The Foo Fighters found here.

But comparisons, as always, are merely a placeholder, a starting point from which you delve into the unique musical identity of a band.

The songs are lush in their arrangement, as though guitars, vocals, drums, and bass are bleeding in to each other’s microphones, not from poor engineering, but by design.

The result is a gorgeously captured “live” feel to the music, a seamless melding of sound into a wall of rock and roll. The quality of the production values alone is absolutely top-notch; the material, no less so.

One of the most impressive elements of the album, from

“Aviator Saint” to “The City,” is that it is completely a collaborative, ensemble affair.

Each player shines in his ability, but no one steps up to hog the spotlight. It isn’t “frontman and backing band” so much as “four equally talented musicians contributing to the greater good.”

There are solos, to be sure, but they always feel like an organic part of the whole, not just some hot-dogging because the big book of songwriting says a solo is supposed to go here.

Literally everything about the album seems to be about the collective, right down to the liner notes and promotional materials failing to mention who plays what.

I suspect this was an intentional move, because really, you aren’t listening to four individuals, you are listening to a whole that is greater than the

Butch Ross, The Master Of The Dulcimer

sum of its parts, a rare find.

The songwriting itself is spot on, a deft combination of defiant rock and roll and thoughtful and melodious composition.

“Fake It” is a grand takeaway from the album, a single track that exemplifies everything I’ve said so far.

There are eight tracks altogether and not a dud in the lot.

It is the sort of music equally at home at a festival, in a stadium, or in the smoky confines of the “secret bar” tourists don’t know about. In any of those venues, Holiday Gunfire will have folks on their feet, waving their arms and swaying in time to one of the best ensemble rock acts in the region.

Soon to be available on vinyl, CD, digitally and streaming, the most powerful debut album I’ve heard in years can be had on February 15th via Cornelius Chapel Records.

Looking for something musically a bit different this Friday night?

Butch Ross, the master of the dulcimer, will be appearing from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Pilgrim Congregational Church as part of their ongoing Pilgrim Music Series. The event is free, though donations are gladly accepted.

A beloved performer and teacher, Ross is wellknown for his unique playing style, charming, “aw shucks” demeanor, and commitment to demonstrating the often unexpected versatility of the mountain dulcimer.

A prominent figure in the local music scene, Ross approaches the venerable folk instrument with the attitude that if it’s music (of any style or description,) the dulcimer is the perfect instrument for it. He has yet to disappoint on this front.

Friday night is the perfect opportunity to get up close and personal with one of Chattanooga’s favorite sons. Pilgrim Congregational Church is located at 400 Glenwood Drive in Chattanooga. — MTM

THU1.17

FRI1.18

SAT1.19

Larry Fleet & Friends

Side Affect, Whoa Dakota, Zachery Scout

EDM vs Hip Hop Back to School Party

Fresh off touring with country superstar Jake Owens. Larry Fleet is the real deal, 200 proof old time country crooner.

7:30 p.m.

Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com

It's cold outside, but the music is hot inside JJ's the Friday night.

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

School is back in session, which means it's time to get grooving in the battle of the turntables.

11 p.m.

Stone Cup Cafe 208 Frazier Ave. stonecupcafe.com

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LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THURSDAY1.17 Cat Man Smothers 2 p.m.

Virgola Wine Bar 608 Georgia Ave. chattanoogawinebar.com River City Sessions: Sounds and Stories of the Hunter 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Matt Downer & Hara Paper 6:30 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Company 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com John Carroll 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Songwriters Stage 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com The Uptown Big Band 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Toby Hewitt 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m.

Moccasin Bend Brewing Co. 3210 Broad St. bendbrewingbeer.com Larry Fleet & Friends 7:30 p.m.

Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com New Grass Express 7:30 p.m.

The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com

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The Dylan Kussman Band Stravinsky’s Firebird 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 chattanoogasymphony.org Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic Night 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Jared’s Bday Party 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

FRIDAY1.18 Jesse Jungkurth 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Preston Ruffing 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Caitlin Canty with Oshima Brothers 7 p.m.

Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com The Briars 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Butch Ross 7 p.m.

Pilgrim Church 400 Glenwood Dr. pilgrim-church.com Ayla Sylver 8:30 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com The Dylan Kussman Band 9 p.m.

The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Lenox Hills with Revel In Romance 9 p.m.

Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com The Foothills 9 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com TNT 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com The Aternooners 9 p.m.

HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St.

hificlydeschattanooga.com Side Affect, Whoa Dakota, Zachery Scout 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com RoughWork 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY1.19 Bluegrass Brunch Noon The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com MPR, ExLAWS, Road to Nightfall 6 p.m.

Mad Knight Brewing Company 4015 Tennessee Ave. madknightbrewing.com Butch Ross 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Cortney Holder 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com The Etowah Jacks 7 p.m.

The Tap House 3800 St. Elmo Ave. taphousechatt.com Ginger CowGirl

thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY1.22

Tedeschi Trucks Band 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m.

Westbound Bar 24 Station St. westboundbar.com Art Garfunkel 8 p.m.

Walker Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. tivolichattanooga.com Mixed Signals 8 p.m.

Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. chattanoogabarley.com Stairway To Zeppelin 8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Shawnessey Cargile 8:30 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Back N Black 9 p.m.

Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Sexy Beast 9 p.m.

HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St. hificlydeschattanooga.com Heatherly 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St.

citycafemenu.com Soundsystem Cultures Takeover 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com RoughWork 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com EDM vs Hip Hop Back to School Party 11 p.m.

Stone Cup Cafe 208 Frazier Ave. stonecupcafe.com

SUNDAY1.20 North Shore Jazz 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Carl Pemberton 11 a.m.

Westin Chattanooga 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Sunday Funday with Danimal and Friends 12:30 p.m.

The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Maggie Valley Band 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com The Other Brothers

3 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Company 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Mathis & Martin 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Three Generations 7:30 p.m.

Ackerman Auditorium 4881 Taylor Cir. (800) 768-8437 southern.edu

MONDAY1.21 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Matt Downer 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd.

Danimal 6 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Pete Boubel 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Sage Against The Machine 7 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Company 1208 King St. wanderlinger.com Space Jam Open Mic with Xll Olympians 7 p.m.

Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. chattanoogabarley.com Roxeen & Dalrymple 7 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Open Mic Jam Session 7 p.m.

Crust Pizza 3211 Broad St. crustpizza.com North Shore Jazz 8 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Live Jam Session with Freddy Mc & Friends 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike

tremonttavern.com Dirty Blonde, Reality Something, Physic Dungeon, Bottom Shelf 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY1.23 No Big Deal 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Nick Edward Williams 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Jesse James Jungkurth 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Jazz in the Lounge: Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Tedeschi Trucks Band 8 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium 399 McCallie Ave. tivolichattanooga.com Randall Adams 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Randy’s Cheeseburger Picnic 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 15

ERNIE PAIK'S RECORD REVIEWS

Resavoir Escalator (International Anthem)

C

hicago trumpeter and composer Will Miller has stayed busy as a session musician, arranger and touring artist in the band Whitney, but he also has his own project Resavoir, which he has been gradually developing over the last few years mostly under wraps as his “bedroom jazz” ensemble.

Resavoir’s debut for the International Anthem label, Escalator, is a spirited, promising debut—a digital double-single with two varied versions of the title track.

“Escalator” grows quickly from a sample of a piano vamp, which seems to then be duplicated and enhanced electronically, giving it a timbre similar to that of an electric piano. Branches sprout from the keyboard riff, as driving drum patterns compete with it to provide guidelines to push things forward.

The first version of “Escalator” is a demo version recorded in 2014 that is a bit of a tease, where its relatively short running time (under three minutes) and irresistible groove leave the listen-

16 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

er wanting more. Wills McKenna on tenor saxophone dives right in with confident fluttering, and Miller’s trumpet parts are treated using a harmonizer run through a MIDI keyboard, providing sharp and shiny tones.

Vocalist and keyboardist Akenya Seymour adds some wordless vocals to the mix, atop the rhythm section of bassist Lane Beckstrom and drummer Peter Manheim, and the track’s momentum, jazz-rock fusion and electronic elements bring to mind the fellow Chicago band Tortoise.

The song’s potential is more fully explored on the 10-minute live version, recorded at Co-Prosperity Sphere in Chicago last summer. Drummer Jeremy Cunningham’s kinetic energy relentlessly fuels the track, with swift hi-hat taps and a steady yet forcefully rolling power that gets more furious and charged as things progress.

The familiar keyboard vamp sample experiences variations throughout the rendition, with gentle warping and pitch-shifting at occasions, and eventually towards the end of the number, the jazz changes evolve into a variation of “My Favorite Things.”

Seymour takes the spotlight for a longer scat-singing solo, playfully weaving patterns with staccato consonants and smooth vowels and soaring into the stratosphere as the band feeds off the collective energy on this striking debut.

Jérémie Mathes In[Core]Wat[t] (Unfathomless)

F

or the last decade, the Belgian label Unfathomless has released albums that are aural reflections of particular geographical locations around the world, and while field recordings serve as the building blocks for these sound collages, they go beyond being merely ambient, passive documentation.

Album number 53 in the series is In[Core]Wat[t] by Jérémie Mathes, who was originally based in France but has lived in Cambodia for the last three years, and it is based upon recordings made in and around Buddhist temples and pagodas in that country as an observer collecting “raw elements and hidden sonic matter,” as Mathes described it.

Mathes’ recordings—woven into a single 40-minute track—linger in one location at a time, with his artistic choices involving what is amplified and magnified among layered sounds with an altered timeline.

They’re bristling with activity, with a dense melding of natural sounds, such as bird chirps and insect

noises, and both intentional and unintentional human activity, from the ringing sounds of singing bowls to soft murmurs and movements.

Materials such as stones and metal reveal their sonic qualities, but part of the time, it’s a storm of unknown pieces making a rumbling din of soft sounds—perhaps like the realization of the chaos of survival among insects and organisms in the ground that’s not apparent without a close look.

At times, there’s an eerie, almost mystical haze to the album, while things like a car horn or abrupt noises— a poke of a sonic cotton swab in the ear—bring the listener back to reality. But is it reality?

While the field recordings are real, the presentation is not an accurate representation of what one exactly hears in a temple, but that’s part of the point. The concept of “ecstatic truth” as described by filmmaker Werner Herzog comes to mind, where the artist has a poetic vision of truth— Herzog’s documentaries sometimes include fictional elements, and his fictional films sometimes include moments of piercing reality.

In[Core]Wat[t] is a fascinating and engrossing listen that can be simultaneously soothing and uneasy, as the poetic sonic representation of a location strives to unlock a complex, ecstatic truth beyond the apparent truth.

FOOD & DRINK · MIXOLOGY

Always In Style: The Old Fashioned A citrusy and very classic concoction to keep the cold at bay

T Allan Duggar

Pulse contributor

“

Most sources say the Old Fashioned is at least a hundred years old, but some out there believe it dates back to the 18th century or even beyond.

Just where it— and the word ‘cocktail’ itself— derives from is a mystery.”

HIS BITING WINTER WEATHER calls for strong drink. Porters and stouts are a good choice if they’re on tap, but if you really want to put fire in the belly, go for the strong stuff.

The clear spirits, though, aren’t always quite right.

And while a Tom Collins or a Moscow Mule are refreshing on warm days, what we need this time of year is the brown stuff, and the most classic of all cocktails’ cocktail for any whiskey, bourdon, or rye is the Old Fashioned.

This drink was featured in David E. Embury’s 1948 edition of “The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks” as one the six basic drinks of mixology. But like the cocktail itself, it goes back in history and obscurity. Most sources say the Old Fashioned is at least a hundred years old, but some out there believe it dates back to the 18th century or even beyond. Just where it—and the word “cocktail” itself—derives from is a mystery.

Some sources say the cocktail comes from an Aztec princess, or a French egg cup, a coquetel, or from a James Fenimore Cooper character named Betty Flanagan who is based off of another fictional character named Betsy Flanagan. It’s quite the historical rabbit hole.

Even the famous American satirist H. L. Mencken couldn’t pin down the cocktail’s origin.

But our modern definition of the cocktail comes from the Hudson, NY political paper Balanced and Columbian Repository in 1809, and it was the exact definition of the Old Fashioned: “a stimulating and quality spirit, water, sugar, and bitters”.

Simple, no?

Actually it gets pretty complex and finicky from here. Some prefer brown sug-

ar grains, others simple syrup (one-part sugar mixed with one-part hot water). In some cocktails there’s a muddled cherry with an orange peel, others just an orange peel. Apparently, oranges pair well with the sweeter taste of bourbon while tart lemons are recommended for the bite of rye whiskey.

Writing this article made me thirsty, so I paid a visit to a good friend at Chattanooga Whiskey. Sarah Smiley, whose name matches her disposition, prefers the old school way with the spirit doing most of the work.

“Some folks muddle a whole orange with a cherry while others just muddle with the orange rind to get the oils from it,” she explained. “I don’t muddle at all.

I want less fruit flavor and more whiskey.”

She, like most bartenders and connoisseurs of the classic cocktail, has her own preferred method. This is because the Old Fashioned has been around for so long that most people have tweaked the recipe to their liking.

But here’s a good starting point: two ounces of whiskey, a teaspoon of sugar, two dashes of angostura and orange bitters, and one large ice cube.

Because the Old Fashioned is a stiff drink and meant to be sipped slowly, it’s best not to take short cuts with your poison of choice. I recommend buying local with Chattanooga Whiskey’s 1816 Reserve.

With the sweetener, some bartenders prefer simple syrup because it dissolves in the cocktail. But if you want to muddle some fruit, then you could throw some raw sugar cane into the pestle.

The final cooling touch, though, is undebatable. An Old Fashioned truly compliments the spirit it’s crafted with, so this taste should be sweetened but not subdued. Smaller pieces of ice melt easily and dilute this taste, which means a big chunk is best.

Just adhere to the traditional definition of the cocktail; get those four elements right, then it’s up to you to make it your own.

“My grandma likes a splash of orange juice in hers, so…” Sarah said.

If you want to get a delicious Old Fashioned, then I suggest you pay her and the good folks at Chattanooga Whiskey a visit. Or blaze your own path at home and get creative.

Just remember to sip slow and enjoy.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 17

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

James Bruneau: Always Changing, Always Unique Shh! He has a very BIG project under wraps

By Tony Mraz Pulse Contributor

“

For me personally, it feels like it would be very easy to fall into imitation.

Anything I come across organically I’m absolutely willing to digest.”

B

E ON THE LOOKOUT FOR BIG THINGS THIS YEAR FROM Chattanooga-based artist James Bruneau. He is best known for his iconic painted portraits of pop culture icons, and his outlook is as unique as his work, which is a delightful blend of realism and abstraction.

Though Bruneau has been making art for most of his life, he feels like he is just getting started.

“Um, I don’t think I’ve had my start, actually,” he explains. “I decided a couple years ago to devote all my time to art, and I started calling myself a professional, but it all seems very ‘fake it until you make it’ to me. Everything ends up being a crash course: producing work, promotion on social media, ‘branding’ yourself, securing shows.”

He believes he’s not alone in this attitude, either.

“I think a lot of artists feel this way. This is probably going to sound stupid, but it’s hard to view starts and finishes if you only view yourself as a pretender. I think that’s the mindset a lot of artists I know operate within. Imposter syndrome is a constantly lurking harpy.”

Bruneau was passionate about art from a young age. When he was in elementary school, he was drawing in the hallway and a kid walked by and said his drawing sucked.

“So we got into a fist fight,” he remembers. “Sitting in the principal’s office after the fight, he made us shake hands and promise to be friends. I was the best man in his wedding almost 30 years later. In hindsight, the drawing probably did suck.”

He went to City High, attending the performing arts program. His first art teacher there, Scott Leach, pushed him and taught him a lot of invaluable lessons.

“He gave me an incredible and varied base to build from,” Bruneau says.

“I earned an academic scholarship to Loyola University and majored in art.”

One of the hardest things he deals with is trying not to be influenced by other artists.

THU1.17

FRI1.18

SAT1.19

Ice on the Landing

ALS Casino Night

It's the final weekend for one of the most fun nights out for Chattanoogans of all ages (and skill levels).

6 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com

Join the ALS Association Tennessee Chapter for a night of fun casino games, food and drink, silent auction, and more.

7 p.m.

Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. alstn.org

Thread: Women’s Voices Through Dance

18 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

An evening of dance with Amanda Byars, Amanda Exley Lower, Bridget Roosa, and Laurel Zahrobsky.

8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

“I know I am influenced subconsciously, but I don’t actively seek out a person’s art and look to it for inspiration,” he notes. “For me personally, it feels like it would be very easy to fall into imitation. Anything I come across organically I’m absolutely willing to digest, and I don’t run from art museums. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

Bruneau explains that he constantly struggles with inspiration, and doesn’t advise anyone to emulate him on this, because he’s pretty sure it’s “wrong and dumb”. Even so, he does have a number of favorite artists whom he admires, including Dave McKean, Wayne White, Fiona Staples, Odd Nerdrum, Albrecht Dürer, and Hieronymus Bosch.

Speaking of Wayne White, Bruneau had the opportunity to work side by side with Wayne at Wayne-O-Rama in 2017.

“I am not a team player. Not even remotely,” he says. “But that is what that project called for, and the folks involved in that project made it very easy for me to get over my hang-ups. I was actually able to get out of my own head, and I feel like I briefly got into Wayne’s. It was weird and rad and rewarding.”

Bruneau says he learned a lot and made some truly excellent friends.

He felt good about helping to bring something unique and atypical to Chattanooga, where he notes that a lot of things are done by the book.

Thought he typically paints with

acrylic and/or watercolor, Bruneau wants to do more with oils in the future.

“I know how to do a variety of printmaking processes, and have dabbled a little bit in sculpture,” he says. “I’ve got a pretty strong drawing base.

I think diversity is one of my major strengths as an artist, so I never really want to do any one thing for too long.”

He feels that art is complicated— and also a bit “dumb”.

“It’s a lot of things, and I feel it’s important for art to be multifaceted and challenging. My philosophy is to keep art dumb and beautiful and complex and weird. I know that sounds completely nonsensical, but art doesn’t make much sense sometimes either.”

Bruneau is currently working on a large-scale commission and has more or less sequestered himself from society. It’s taking him longer to finish than anticipated, though. When asked for details, he demurs, explaining that the project is still under wraps.

“It’s meant to be uplifting and noble and hopeful,” he says. “Trying to convey those concepts right now is especially difficult, but it also feels more important than ever to try. I’m exceptionally glad that I was asked to do this painting, but it has been more challenging than anything else I have attempted.”

You can learn more about Bruneau's work on his website at prehistoricrobot.com or by following him on Facebook at Prehistoric Robot.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 19

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR THURSDAY1.17 Urban Farmers Market and Marketplace 3 p.m.

Miller Park 910 Market St. millerparkmarket.com Southern Symphony Orchestra Concerto Concert 4 p.m.

Collegedale Church of Seventh-day Adventists 4829 College Dr. E. (423) 396-2134 collegedalechurch.com Naughty Knights Chess Meetup 5 p.m.

Hutton & Smith Brewing Co. 431 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 760-3600 huttonandsmithbrewing.com Teen Vision 5 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Ice on the Landing 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com Author Greg Howard 6 p.m.

Star Line Books 1467 Market St. (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com Introduction to Calligraphy 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com PSC Presents Joe Anderson 7 p.m.

St. John’s United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Dr. (423) 892-2257 stjohnumc.org Matt Mitchell 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Stravinsky’s Firebird 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre

The Big Lebowski 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 chattanoogasymphony.org Jim Goad Book Signing 8 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Alcoholics Not Anonymous Comedy Open Mic 8 p.m.

Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 682-8200 chattanoogabarley.com Country Line Dancing Class 8 p.m.

Westbound Bar 24 Station St. (423) 498-3069 westboundbar.com

FRIDAY1.18 Chattanooga Design Studio Film Fridays 11:30 a.m.

The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com Out On 8th 5 p.m.

West Village 802 Pine St. (423) 424-1831 westvillagechattanooga.com Ice on the Landing 6 p.m.

20 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com All in for ALS: Casino Night 7 p.m.

Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 alstn.org Matt Mitchell 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Improv “Movie” Night 8 p.m.

Improv Chattanooga 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com REST FEST 8 p.m.

The Spot 1800 E. Main St. (423) 803-5744 spotvenue.co Nature Boyz Season Premiere 8 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Video Game Night 8 p.m.

Stone Cup Cafe 208 Frazier Ave. (423) 521-3977 stonecupcafe.com Ruby Falls Lantern Tours

8:30 p.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Good, Old-Fashioned Improv Show 10 p.m.

Improv Chattanooga 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Queens of The Palace Theater 11 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

SATURDAY1.19 Coffee Extraction Basics/ Brewing Science 10 a.m.

Mad Priest Coffee Roasters 1900 Broad St. (423) 393-3834 madpriestcoffee.com Let’s Make Soap 10 a.m.

Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org A Little Me Time: A Half-Day Workshop 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St.

(423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Chattanooga Women’s March Rally 11 a.m.

Coolidge Park 150 River St. chattanoogawomensmarch.com Nickels for Nepal Benefit Artwork Sale 11 a.m.

Braxton Mill 8717 Hixson Pike (423) 305-2570 Red Wolf Revival Film Screening Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Jim Noles Author Discussion 2 p.m.

Star Line Books 1467 Market St. (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com The Big Lebowski 3, 7 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 tivolichattanooga.com Flex Unlimited by Life & Culture 6 p.m.

WanderLinger Brewing Company 1208 King St. (423) 269-7979 wanderlinger.com Ice on the Landing 6 p.m.

7 p.m.

Improv Chattanooga 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com English Country Dance for All! 7 p.m.

Heritage House Arts & Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 chattanooga.gov

WEDNESDAY1.23

Winter Welding Class Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com Winter in West Village 6 p.m.

West Village 802 Pine St. westvillagechattanooga.com Matt Mitchell 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Thread: Women’s Voices Through Dance 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Your Stories 8 p.m.

Improv Chattanooga 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com A Night with The Pop-Up Project 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Chatt Talk Tonight 9 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Whose Line Chattanooga

10 p.m.

Improv Chattanooga 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Queens of The Palace Theater 11 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

SUNDAY1.20 Free Fiddle School 2 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 To Kill A Mockingbird 2, 6 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 tivolichattanooga.com Ice on the Landing 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com Blue Moon Barking: An Evening of Celebration & Awareness 7 p.m.

Grey Rocks at Cravens Terrace 1509 Caroline St. gandhicenterforpeace.org Matt Mitchell 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY1.21 Sixth Annual MLK Day of Service 8 a.m.

Maclellan Gym 600 Douglas St. connect.chattanooga.gov/mlkdos Winter Belly Dance Session 5:45 p.m.

Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com Ice on the Landing 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com Joggers & Lagers 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Brewing Co. 1804 Chestnut St. chattabrew.com

TUESDAY1.22 Red Wolf Revival Film Screening Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Wake Up & Run 6 a.m.

Fleet Feet Sports 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 771-7996 fleetfeetchattanooga.com Chess K-night 5 p.m.

Mad Priest Coffee Roasters 1900 Broad St. (423) 393-3834 madpriestcoffee.com Bonneville Icons Tour 6 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Beginner Handlettering 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Paths to Pints along the Riverwalk 6:30 p.m.

The Tap House 3800 St. Elmo Ave. taphousechatt.com Elixir Meetup 7 p.m.

The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com Intro To Improv #21

Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Red Wolf Revival Film Screening Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Main Street Market 4 p.m.

522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Winter Welding Class 6 p.m.

Art 120 100 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 708-2120 art120.org Chattanooga Marketing Clinic: Coworking 6 p.m.

The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com Naughty Knights Chess Meetup 7:30 p.m.

The Bitter Alibi 825 Houston St. (423) 362-5070 thebitteralibi.com Etta May 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 21

FILM & TELEVISION

Dumplin’: A Product Of Consumer Analysis How Netflix turns data into dull They Shall Not Grow Old Back by popular demand, Academy Award winner Peter Jackson’s poignant and astonishing WWI documentary They Shall Not Grow Old returns to theaters for a one-day screening this Monday.

The acclaimed documentary is an extraordinary look at the soldiers and events of the Great War, using film footage captured at the time, now presented using modern technologies to make the experience tangible for the viewer.

Jackson recorded a special introduction to the film—which he has called his most personal—offering his perspective on why the film is important for audiences who have never experienced WWI footage as anything but grainy black and white…and silent.

In They Shall Not Grow Old, Jackson opens a window to the past in a way that has never been seen or heard before, noting, “Restoration is a humanizing process.”

By using state-of-the-art restoration, colorization, and 3D technologies, and pulling from 600 hours of BBC archival interviews, Jackson puts forth an intensely gripping, immersive, and authentic experience through the eyes and voices of the British soldiers who lived it.

The screening will be immediately followed by special content offering firsthand insights into what went into this groundbreaking feat of research, filmmaking, and storytelling.

Come see it at East Ridge 18 or Chattanooga 10 on Gunbarrel Road this Monday at either 1 p.m. or 7 p.m. — Michael Thomas

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

“

Not only has Netflix changed the way movies are distributed and seen, it’s begun to change the way movies are made.”

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T

HERE’S NO DOUBT THAT NETFLIX HAS CHANGED film as we know it. The company completely decimated the movie rental industry, essentially driving a multi-billion dollar powerhouse out of the market entirely.

Netflix is an example of what is possible with innovation, with seeing the forest instead of the trees, with listening and responding to your customers. It’s a success story as American as Ford Motors and Walmart.

Not only has Netflix changed the way movies are distributed and seen, it’s begun to change the way movies are made. Every part of the Netflix streaming service collects and analyzes data. It knows what people are watching, how long they are watching, where they are pausing, what they watch next, etc.

All of this data is pored over and

deconstructed, looking for patterns and streams, all with the end goal of allowing Netflix to tailor entertainment directly to their audience.

It not only informs the content they create, but also the content they distribute.

In theory, this sounds great. Everyone wants their entertainment to reflect their values. We want to see ourselves reflected back to us from the screen. At least, we think this is what we want. However, there’s cynicism in to this approach. It creates an emptiness in the art. A blankness.

Art that doesn’t challenge is mostly a waste. This can’t be more clear

than in one of Netflix’s recent acquisitions, a coming-of-age story entitled Dumplin’.

There is nothing in Dumplin’ we haven’t seen a before. A plucky heroine trying to fit in. A mother who just doesn’t understand her daughter. A loss. A discovery. An unlikely friendship or two. The screenplay is as paint-by-numbers as they come.

Briefly: Willowdean Dickson (Danielle Macdonald) is an overweight but confident teen whose mother (Jennifer Aniston) is a former beauty pageant queen. Willowdean loves her mother, but believes her obsession with the pageant has kept their relationship strained her entire life. Luckily, her Aunt Lucy was around to pick up the slack, teaching Willowdean about loving herself and loving Dolly Parton.

Unfortunately, sometime before the beginning of the film, Aunt Lucy passes away, leaving Willowdean alone. While going through some of her aunt’s things, she discovers an old entry form for the same pageant her mother won when they were young. Willowdean decides to enter the pageant in order to complete a dream her aunt never could.

If any of the above description had you rolling your eyes, you

“

The film seems to go out of its way to choose the path of least resistance for its characters.”

aren’t alone. The film seems to go out of its way to choose the path of least resistance for its characters.

The only real conflict is in Willowdean’s head—almost everyone in the film is perfectly nice and pleasant to her.

This isn’t to say that internal conflicts don’t have a place in storytelling—far from it. It’s just that it causes Willowdean to come off as completely out of touch with the people around her, sometimes making the audience wonder how she has friends at all.

Beyond that, this film was clearly cobbled together from the best parts of better films. Netflix highlights this by adding a strange, annoying new feature into their app that displays a button during crucial or emotional scenes asking viewers if they want to what that scene again, as if Willowdean’s argument with her crush is so poignant that audiences need multiple viewings to grasp the subtleties that have been woven into the narrative.

Except clearly Willowdean thinks

boys won’t like her because she’s fat. She says it out loud. Why on Earth would anyone need to see that again? Did Netflix have its AI watch the film, compare it to the massive troves of data they’ve collected, and decide which parts of the film are the most emotionally impactful and thus needed highlighting? If so, why did they do that?

Do audiences really need these things telegraphed so plainly?

Truthfully, the central conceit of the film is somewhat unbelievable as well. The story takes place in Texas, where according to PolitiFact, some 61 percent of people are obese. If more people look like Willowdean than her mother, it’s unlikely that weight is going to have the same stigma it once had.

Dumplin’ is a film outdone by many other films of its type. As much as I like Dolly Parton, her music isn’t enough to save a film like this one. If you want a film that does coming-of-age well, check out Eighth Grade.

Throw off the Netflix algorithm.

Watch something else.

✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴

Glass Security guard David Dunn uses his supernatural abilities to track Kevin Wendell Crumb, a disturbed man who has twenty-four personalities.

Director: M. Night Shyamalan Stars: James McAvoy, Bruce Willis

The Heiresses Chela and Chiquita are both descended from wealthy families in Asunción and have been together for over 30 years. But recently, their financial situation has worsened and they begin selling off their inherited possessions.

Director: Marcelo Martinessi Stars: Ana Brun, Margarita Irun, Ana Ivanova

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 23

The List

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY total freedom to be themselves and rule themselves. May they inspire your efforts to do the same on a personal level in the coming year.

ROB BREZSNY

Random Stats About Coffee In honor of our annual Coffee Issue, we decided to research some completely random stats about America's second-favorite beverage.

The results—like a good cup of coffee—were a real eye-opener.

• Total percentage of Americans over the age of 18 who drink coffee everyday: 54% • Total percentage of coffee drinkers who prefer their coffee black: 35% • Total amount of money spent by importing coffee to U.S. each year: $4 billion • Total number of cups of coffee (9 ounces) a coffee drinker consumes daily: 3.1 • Total average of money spent on coffee each year by coffee drinkers: $164.71 • Total number of U.S. daily coffee drinkers: 100 million • Total percentage of coffee drinkers who claim to need a cup of coffee to start their day: 60% • Total amount of money spent yearly on specialty coffee in the U.S.: $18 billion So sip on these facts while enjoying your next cup of hot joe.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Among the top “how to” search inquiries on Google are “how to buy Bitcoin,” “how to lose belly fat fast,” “how to cook spaghetti in a microwave,” and “how to make slime.” While I do think that the coming weeks will be prime time for you to formulate and launch many “how to” investigations, I will encourage you to put more important questions at the top of your priority list. “How to get richer quicker” would be a good one, as would “how to follow through on good beginnings” and “how to enhance your value” and “how to identify what resources and allies will be most important in 2019.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A motivational speaker and author named Nick Vujicic was born without arms or legs, although he has two small, unusually shaped feet. These facts didn’t stop him from getting married, raising a family of four children, and writing eight books. One book is entitled "Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life". He’s a positive guy who has faith in the possibility of miracles. In fact, he says he keeps a pair of shoes in his closet just in case God decides to bless him with a marvelous surprise. In accordance with current astrological omens, Aquarius, I suggest you make a similar gesture. Create or acquire a symbol of an amazing transformation you would love to attract into your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): About 11 percent of the Philippines’ population is comprised of Muslims who call themselves the Bangsamoro. Many resist being part of the Philippines and want their own sovereign nation.

They have a lot of experience struggling for independence, as they’ve spent 400 years rebelling against occupation by foreign powers, including Spain, the United States, and Japan. I admire their tenacity in seeking

24 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

ARIES (March 21-April 19): We might initially be inclined to ridicule Stuart Kettell, a British man who spent four days pushing a Brussels sprout up 3,560-foot-high Mount Snowden with his nose. But perhaps our opinion would become more expansive once we knew that he engaged in this stunt to raise money for a charity that supports people with cancer.

In any case, the coming weeks would be a favorable time for you, too, to engage in extravagant, extreme, or even outlandish behavior in behalf of a good or holy cause.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Taurus guitar wizard known as Buckethead is surely among the most imaginative and prolific musicians who has ever lived. Since producing his first album in late 2005, he has released 306 other albums that span a wide variety of musical genres — an average of 23 per year. I propose that we make him your patron saint for the next six weeks. While it’s unlikely you can achieve such a gaudy level of creative self-expression, you could very well exceed your previous personal best in your own sphere.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Novelist Arthur Conan Doyle created Sherlock Holmes, a fictional character who personifies the power of logic and rational thinking. And yet Doyle was also a devout spiritualist who pursued interests in telepathy, the occult, and psychic phenomena. It’s no surprise that he was a Gemini, an astrological tribe renowned for its ability to embody apparent opposites. Sometimes that quality is a liability for you folks, and sometimes an asset. In the coming weeks, I believe it’ll be a highly useful skill. Your knack for holding paradoxical views and expressing seemingly contradictory powers will attract and generate good fortune.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2006, a 176-year-old tortoise named Harriet died in an Australian zoo owned by “Crocodile Hunter” and TV personality Steve Irwin. Harriet was far from her original home in the Galapagos Islands. By some accounts, evolutionary superstar Charles Darwin picked her up and carried her away during his visit there in 1835. I propose that you choose the long-lived tortoise as your power creature for the coming

Homework: Write yourself a nice long love letter full of praise and appreciation.

Send a copy to me if you like: FreeWillAstrology.com weeks. With her as inspiration, meditate on questions like these: 1. “What would I do differently if I knew I’d live to a very old age?” 2. “What influence that was important to me when I was young do I want to be important to me when I’m old?” 3. “In what specific ways can my future benefit from my past?” 4. “Is there a blessing or gift from an ancestor I have not yet claimed?” 5. “Is there anything I can do that I am not yet doing to remain in good health into my old age?”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): John Lennon claimed that he generated the Beatles song’ “Because” by rendering Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” backwards. Even if that’s true, I don’t think it detracts from the beauty of “Because.” May I suggest you adopt a comparable strategy for your own use in the coming weeks, Leo? What could you do in reverse so as to create an interesting novelty? What approach might you invert in order to instigate fresh ways of doing things?

Is there an idea you could turn upside-down or inside-out, thereby awakening yourself to a new perspective?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Tsonga language is spoken by more than 15 million people in southern Africa. The literal meaning of the Tsonga phrase I malebvu ya nghala is “It’s a lion’s beard,” and its meaning is “something that’s not as scary as it looks.” According to my astrological analysis, this will be a useful concept for you to be alert for in the coming weeks. Don’t necessarily trust first impressions or initial apprehensions. Be open to probing deeper than your instincts might influence you to do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The old Latin verb crescere meant “to come forth, spring up, grow, thrive, swell, increase in numbers or strength.”

We see its presence in the modern English, French, and Italian word “crescendo.” In accordance with astrological omens, I have selected crescere and its present participle crescentum to be your words of power for the next four weeks. May they help

mobilize you to seize all emerging opportunities to come forth, spring up, grow, thrive, swell, and increase in numbers or strength.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When animals hibernate, their metabolism slows down. They may grow more underfur or feathers, and some add extra fat. To conserve heat, they may huddle together with each other.

In the coming weeks, I don’t think you’ll have to do what they do. But I do suspect it will be a good time to engage in behaviors that have a resemblance to hibernation: slowing down your mind and body; thinking deep thoughts and feeling deep feelings; seeking extra hugs and cuddles; getting lots of rich, warm, satisfying food and sleep. What else might appeal to your need to drop out of your fast-paced rhythm and supercharge your psychic batteries?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When people tell me they don’t have time to read the books I’ve written, I advise them to place the books under their pillows and soak up my words in their dreams. I don’t suggest that they actually eat the pages, although there is historical precedent for that.

The Bible describes the prophet Ezekiel as literally chewing and swallowing a book. And there are accounts of sixteenth-century Austrian soldiers devouring books they acquired during their conquests, hoping to absorb the contents of the texts. But in accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest that in the next four weeks you acquire the wisdom stored in books by actually reading them or listening to them on audio recordings. In my astrological opinion, you really do need, for the sake of your psychospiritual health, to absorb writing that requires extended concentration.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

“Late to the Movie”—what did I miss?

ACROSS 1 “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” character with a spinoff series 5 Isaac Hayes soundtrack 10 The Krusty ___ (“SpongeBob SquarePants” locale) 14 “Archer” character Kane 15 Pelvic bones 16 Minigolf segment 17 2018 movie about Cathy being startled by a big cat?

19 Unknown quote source, for short 20 Blue Apron offering 21 “___ dead, Jim” (“Star Trek” line) 22 “Metropolis” director Lang 23 Play division 25 Inject 27 “That’s amazing!”

31 Type of doll for the vengeful 35 Palindromic parent 36 2018 movie about bowling lanes?

39 British baby

carriage 41 Stair part 42 “Morning Joe” cohost Brzezinski 43 2018 movie about a cinematic alien’s voice?

46 Brain activity diagnostic test, for short 47 Amino acid that helps treat cold sores 48 Deli bread option, maybe 50 Fire engine feature 53 “___-wee’s Big Adventure” 54 ___ Reid (The Green Hornet’s true identity) 57 More, in Mexico 59 Considers carefully 63 Mt. Ka’ala is its highest point 64 2018 movie about an annoying Irishman?

66 Cicero’s love 67 They may be dank on the Internet 68 Steel ingredient 69 Bright and evenly colored,

for dragon fruit 70 He played one of the Weasleys 71 Figures out DOWN 1 Comic book explosion sound 2 “The Amazing ___” 3 “Johnny’s Theme” composer Paul 4 Gabe of “Welcome Back, Kotter” 5 1040 info 6 Owns, archaically 7 Has a yearning (for) 8 “___ Off the Boat” 9 Road repair stuff 10 Sudan’s capital 11 Pasta ___ (boxed dinner) 12 Bunches 13 Mercedes-___ 18 Acronym on a record label 22 Yard component 24 Baton master 26 Venn diagram feature 27 Drive forward 28 Rick’s grandson, on TV 29 Apple desktops

from a while back 30 Oklahoma city 32 More desertlike 33 In tune 34 “August: ___ County” (Meryl Streep movie) 37 JFK flier, once 38 Take some time at the library 40 Dehumidifier’s target 44 It may be listed before or after “per” 45 Krispy ___ 49 K-Cup maker 51 Fading flame feature 52 “Birdman” actress Watts 54 Pigpen dweller 55 “Bohemian Rhapsody” star Malek 56 Denny’s rival 58 British weapon of WWII 60 Ancient Greek harp 61 Pirate spoils 62 Phoenix court team 64 “Wow!” in texts 65 “The buck stops here” presidential monogram

Copyright © 2019 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 919 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 25

COLUMN · ON THE BEAT

Keeping Your Hands At Two And Ten How to deal with a traffic stop, even when you’re on the job

T Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

“

You see, I know the fear in a rookie cop.

The anxiety. The nervousness.

The mental ‘do not get us sued’ checklist planted in their head that distracts them from clear thinking.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

WO TIMES IN 15 YEARS. THAT’S how many times I’ve been pulled over in my personal car, and that was two too many if you ask me. Why? Give me a sec.

Upon seeing the blue lights, off-duty cops still pucker up just like everyone else, and sometimes more so. In my case it’s because this was early evening, and that meant the chances I was being pulled over by a rookie were about 98 percent greater than any other time of day.

The only veteran cops who like second shift are the ones who have side businesses to attend to during the daytime hours, making them the least likely ones to be initiating traffic stops just behind administrators and janitorial staff.

You see, I know the fear in a rookie cop. The anxiety. The nervousness. The mental “do not get us sued” checklist planted in their head that distracts them from clear thinking, which in turn makes them more nervous.

Do you hear a lot of tragic stories about veteran cops accidentally pulling a trigger? Exactly.

And here I was, driving 40mph in a 40mph zone with my seatbelt on, hands at two and ten, uncharacteristically registered tags (that’s another story), not even knowing why I was getting lit up.

Upon coming to a stop (using a turn signal and turning on the dome light), I stuck my hands out the window, fingers splayed.

“Sir,” the copper said loudly from the rear of my truck. “Why are you holding your hands out the window?”

“Because I’m afraid of rookie cops,” I responded, honestly having no idea who it was.

There was a notable hesitation.

He resumed his approach, and said,

26 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 17, 2019 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“You can put your hands back inside the car, sir.”

When cops see something like this (hands out the window, or palms up on the ceiling of the car), they immediately know one of two things has happened: They’ve pulled over a convicted felon, or an off duty po-lice (the hyphen is intentional of course).

In this case however, it was a first. He was, after all, a new guy.

The unintentional insult that went with my hands outside the vehicle was unnecessary, but I also find it helpful to subtly increase the tension at time like these, because after that there’s nowhere to go but to deescalate.

Right on cue, once I informed him of my day job his shoulders slumped a little and he let some air out of his chest. Oh, and he took his hand off the butt of his pistol.

What I’ve described above is a bit… unorthodox perhaps, but it leads to a larger point: People take their status, self-importance, and therefore safety for granted during traffic stops. When you start yelling and or shuffling through your glove box and seats looking for your paperwork because “…I can’t just BELIEVE this guy is pulling me over, doesn’t he know who I am?”, as it turns out, no…the officer doesn’t know who you are, only what you are capable of.

Which, if you’ll flip on any news channel this week in particular, means killing him or her.

If you’re pulled over, take a breath. If you’re defensive, acknowledge that this is not a court room; it’s a traffic stop and at least one of you has a gun, and this may not be the time to declare your status or even innocence just yet. Just practice the lost art of listening, and see how things go.

Don’t be helpful; rifling through the car makes flashy lights go off in the officer’s head. We do not want this. Don’t be helpful, just be compliant for a bit, even if you ARE really, really important and know a neighbor who is a po-lice and of course the Mayor’s aide, and any number of people who you know damn well wouldn’t take a call from you over something as trivial as you getting busted with a bad tail light.

If you breathe evenly, so will your host for the evening, and who knows? This demeanor can mean the difference between a verbal and a written encounter.

OR just lose your shit, whichever…but I’m sticking with my script despite my own obvious importance.

I do know a cop after all. (Blush.)

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 17, 2019 • THE PULSE • 27