The Pulse 14.4 » January 26, 2017

JANUARY 26, 2017

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

COVER STORY

the history

and future

of coffee

HOW A ROASTED BEAN CREATED THE DRINK OF CHOICE FOR THE WORLD

ARTS

the 800 collective MUSIC coach 'n commando

2 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

VOLUME 14, ISSUE 4 JANUARY 26, 2017

CONTENTS 4 10 14 20

DANCING THE HAPPY DANCE

In the words of the famous swing dancer Frankie Manning, “I’ve never seen a Lindy Hopper who wasn’t smiling. It’s a happy dance. It makes you feel good.” He was right.

LEARNING THE POWER OF VISUAL EXPRESSION

Is it possible for art to change our social and moral fabric? Robert Henri (pronounced henrye) influenced the American art world in the late 1800s and into the 20th century with his rebellious approach to impressionism.

NEW YORK INVADES WITH COACH 'N COMMANDO

Mayo’s on Brainerd Road has a reputation as one of Chattanooga’s favorite hole-in-the-wall bars, but did you know they put on some pretty damn fine shows as well? Many people do not, and that’s a shame.

CAPITALISM MEETS THE HUMBLE HAMBURGER

There’s a story told by market capitalists. It’s one about the importance of tenacity, about the necessity of bootstrapping, about the power of elbow grease.

ALSO INSIDE

8

The History and Future of Coffee A popular legend says that about a thousand years ago, an Abyssinian goatherder named Kaldi noticed his typically stoic goats were excitingly hopping and frolicking around like a Habesha on his wedding day.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

5

CONSIDER THIS

19

DINING OUT

7

AIR BAG

20

NEW IN THEATERS

12

ARTS CALENDAR

21

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

16

MUSIC CALENDAR

21

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

18

MUSIC REVIEWS

22

ON THE BEAT

Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan, currently living abroad, who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years.

Beth Miller is a writer, photographer and videographer who longs for the day she can toss her phone and computer into the river and live a life of solitude away from other humans and reality television.

Until then, she likes to write.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 3

BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Dancing The Happy Dance Vintage swing dancing finds a home here in the Scenic City

By Robyn Wolfe Fogle Pulse contributor

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors David Traver Adolphus Rob Brezsny • Robyn Wolfe Fogle Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin Beth Miller • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Addie Whitlow • Alex Plaumann Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Cindee McBride • Libby Phillips John Rodriguez • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

I

N THE WORDS OF THE FAMOUS swing dancer Frankie Manning, “I’ve never seen a Lindy Hopper who wasn’t smiling. It’s a happy dance. It makes you feel good.”

He was right, and you’ll see plenty of smiling, happy faces swinging around the dance floor at River City Dance Club’s weekly gathering on Monday nights.

Whether you’ve never danced before, or have been dancing for years, the energy and pure fun of the dance is sure to sweep you up and get you hooked.

The club was formed roughly three years ago by Lindsay Miller and Etienne van Wyk, and while they may be called the River City Dance Club, there is no membership involved and weekly dances are open to everyone.

Dances are held at ClearSpring Yoga on Monday nights where the doors open at 7:15 p.m. for practice, warm-up and mingling. The entrance fee of $7 ($5 for students) includes a lesson which starts at 7:45 p.m. followed by social dancing from 8:30 - 10 p.m.

There is always a beginner lesson, with an intermediate lesson offered most weeks as well. Attending with a partner is not required as leaders and followers are paired up for the lesson and then rotate throughout the course of the class so that everyone gains experience dancing with multiple partners.

“Rotating partners is the fastest way to learn the dance” says van Wyk, “plus it helps couples realized that maybe their partner is not the only one struggling.

It’ll save the relationship” he said with a smile.

A variety of vintage swing dancers are taught including lindy hop, balboa,

4 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“Whether you’ve never danced before, or have been dancing for years, the energy and pure fun of the dance is sure to sweep you up and get you hooked.” blues, Charleston and even solo dance moves. Guest instructors are brought in from out of town on occasion, and four-week progressive lessons are often taught as well to help dancers move beyond the basics and really master a dance.

But the real lesson, and fun, happens when the social dancing begins and dancers have the opportunity to put into practice what they’ve just learned. All types of dancing are welcomed and DJ’s play a variety of music depending

on the crowd.

The weekly dances attract mostly young professionals, but everyone from teenagers, college groups and older couples have attended. Comfortable flat shoes are recommended and attire ranges from jeans and t-shirts to skirts or suits.

Everyone dances with everyone and it’s a very social, fun environment where every new dancer is welcomed and leaves feeling the joy of the dance, and a part of the swing community.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

Come Meet The Chattanooga Mayoral Candidates If you want to be actively involved in the election of the next elected leader of Chattanooga by hearing directly from the candidates, there will be a Mayoral Candidates’ Forum at Greater Tucker Missionary Baptist Church on Monday.

The forum will be hosted by the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Chattanooga Chapter, Inc. (NCBW), which was established in the city in 1994 to help African American women deal with less-talked about issues by working together to make a difference.

The forum will be moderated by Edna Varner, a retired educator who is pres-

ently working for the Public Education Foundation and is actively involved in serving the Chattanooga community.

The goal of the forum is to allow the public to hear from the candidates and learn what plans and platforms they

plan on implementing if they win the mayoral race. The current candidates are incumbent Mayor Andy Berke, and challengers David Crockett, Chris Long and Larry Grohn.

If you’re interested in hearing from the candidates running for Chattanooga mayor, you’re encouraged to stop by the Greater Tucker Missionary Baptist Church at 6 p.m. on Monday, Jan. 30.

NCBW will also be hosting a second forum, scheduled for Feb. 6 at Orchard Knob Missionary Baptist Church, with the candidates running for seats on the City Council. — Addie Whitlow

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand— relax. If you relax, it comes.”

— Osho “We have a choice. We can spend our whole life suffering because we can’t relax with how things really are, or we can relax and embrace the open-endedness of the human situation, which is fresh, unfixated, unbiased.”

— Pema Chodron A very rewarding part of my work is helping folks to relax. To breathe in a way that is therapy for mind and body. And from that centeredness, to understand suffering versus accepting; controlling versus freedom.

Consider this: What would it be like to trust yourself so much, and to trust your Higher Power or your Universe so fully, that you walk your walk embracing what is, totally reassured that all will, ultimately, turn out just fine.

While this may be (at first) a huge challenge, do you deserve any less?

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 5

6 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

COLUMN ∙ AIR BAG

Beyond The Cute-Ute The best vehicles to survive winter ice, heat storms and waves

David Traver Adolphus Pulse columnist

4x4 with a gleam in their eye and they expect to have a competitively priced Peking-to-Paris ready for 2017, using a V-12 and/or allelectric power.

Studebaker M-29 Weasel

T’S BEEN A CONFUSING WEATHER year so far. Is it going to be icemaggedon or tornadoes and record rain and warmth? Why not alternate both! I bet you’re hatethanking me now for those snow tires I convinced you to get for the 1.6 days a year you actually need them!

Obviously, climate change makes buying tires based on antiquated notions of “weather” obsolete: We need to be prepared for inland tsunamis, volcanoes, hurriquakes, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, and mass hysteria.

And for that, we should have vehicles that are completely appropriate for every imaginable scenario, that will commute comfortably; hold passengers, pets, groceries and moving boxes; handle well; and offer all the safety, convenience and comfort we expect in a modern car.

Impossible, you say? Hardly. Here’s a guide to car buying in the face of existential insecurity.

While I don’t think $265,000 (est.) is too much for what you’re getting with the (hypothetical) Spyker, maybe you want an American-made vehicle that has all the capabilities for 1/10th the price.

Studebaker’s M-29 Weasel (technically, you want the passenger-carrying M-28 and not the cargo-configured M-29, but that’s what everyone knows it as) was built in South Bend, Indiana in the thousands, specifically for a WWII arctic mission in Norway.

The mission never happened, but the go-anywhere Weasel was so good it was used throughout the European and African theatres until the end of the war. Afterwards, it became popular for polar and jungle exploration, as well as the developing ski industry. If high water is a worry, go for the fully amphibious Water Weasel.

Spyker D12/D8 Peking-to-Paris

Tatra T-815 Force

Dutch automaker Spyker has tried twice to build a go-anywhere luxury car; with both a V-12 and a V-8. Debuted in 2006, it never generated sufficient interest to justify the expense; then Spyker’s disastrous involvement with Saab bankrupted the company.

Now reinvigorated, Spyker is looking at the successful $250,000 Bentley Bentyaga

You may not be overly familiar with the Czech auto industry, but let me assure you that Tatra is the real deal. Their extensive truck line is highlighted by the availability of four-wheel drive heavy vehicles, starting with 4x4s and going up to the only stock 12x12s on the planet.

I

If you don’t like their own European V-8, you can build your Force with either a Cat or Cummins diesel and Allison transmission that’s easily serviceable almost anywhere. Proven on the Dakar Rally, it is practical and practically indestructible.

Christy 9205 Have you ever considered a nice hovercraft? Think of this big Christy as an amphibious RV--it’s got an automotive-style cabin that holds 9 people in seats and couches that convert to beds, with options like pop-up tables and anything else you want to add.

Hovercraft don’t care what kind of surface they’re on, as long as it’s relatively flat, so gravel, water, ice and grass are all the same to it.

A great thing about hovercraft is that they’re not governed by the same regulations as a car or truck, meaning you can buy the Russianmade Christy fairly easily—on water, it’s subject to US Coast Guard regulations; on land, it’s an offroad vehicle.

Sandworm Not everyone has what it takes to call, harness and ride one of these giant beasts of the desert, but I feel the rewards are worth it. The ShaiHulud are functionally immortal and indestructible, with a few minor drawbacks: They are unable to move through rock, although they’ll generally have no trouble crossing over it.

Water in quantity is poisonous to them; at the same time, their complex life cycle requires it and if you start with a sufficient quantity of their young (sand trout), they will in time move all the earth’s free water into the planet’s lower strata, making the surface safe for the adults.

Housing them can also be problematic. However, their all-terrain usability, and of course, valuable spice excretions, more than make up for any inconvenience.

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. Follow him on Twitter as @proscriptus.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

The History And Future Of Coffee How a roasted bean created the drink of choice for the world

By Mike McJunkin

N

Pulse contributor

OT EVERY HERO WEARS A CAPE—SOME carry a shepherd’s staff, herd goats, and change the course of human history with a casual attitude towards eating unfamiliar berries.

A popular legend says that about a thousand years ago, an Abyssinian goatherder named Kaldi noticed his typically stoic goats were excitingly hopping and frolicking around like a Habesha on his wedding day.

Not wanting to be left out of the goat party, he investigated the situation and found the goats munching away on the berries and leaves of an unfamiliar tree.

The pressing weight of peer pressure from all the cool goats was simply too much to handle and Kaldi tried a handful of the magic berries for himself. Minutes later he had fashioned some twigs, grass, and fireflies into primitive glowsticks and joined the dancing goats in what is said to be the first documented rave.

A passing monk saw Kaldi’s goat party and asked the obvious question, “Heeeey buddy, whatcha doin’?” Kaldi turned the monk onto the berries, who took advantage of their stimulating properties to pray all night without falling asleep. This prompted some of the monks to think the berries were of the Devil and they hurled them into the fire.

The aroma of the roasting berries proved to be irresistible so they were rescued from the fire, crushed to put out the embers, and placed into a jug of hot water in an effort to preserve them. Later, the monks succumbed to temptation, rethought their stance on devil berries, and drank the brew to help keep them from falling asleep during nightly devotions. Simultaneously, “Cof-

fee: The Beverage” and “The Legend of Kaldi: Bringer of Coffee” were born.

THE SPREAD OF COFFEE Coffee is the second most valuable, legally traded commodity in the world—just behind oil and internet cat videos. About 2.25 billion cups of coffee are consumed each day worldwide and millions depend on coffee’s restorative and energizing powers to sustain them through the day and prevent them from brutally murdering family members and friends before 8 a.m.

Just like any food that has been around for centuries, coffee’s history is peppered with controversy and global intrigue. Before it became

8 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

the holiest of morning elixirs, coffee was consumed in a number of less comforting ways. Coffee plants produce a cherry-like fruit with the coffee bean nestled in the center of that fruit. By 1000 AD, Ethiopians were mixing the fruit with animal fat to create a protein rich snack only slightly more disgusting than a Clif Bar that’s been lingering in the bottom of a gym bag for six months.

During this same period, they began to sell coffee beans to Islamic traders who brought them to the Arabian Peninsula and India, where they were made into a beverage. Muslims weren’t supposed to drink wine or beer, so coffee became a popular drink to serve guests instead, kind of like Baptists.

By the mid 1400s, the Ottomans had figured out that roasting the beans before grinding and brewing them into a drink helped make the flavor more soothing and less like drinking liquid meth. By the 1500s, Ottoman traders had introduced this new coffee-drinking fad to Italian ports where Europeans fell in love with it, especially when mixed with their other newfound fad— sugar.

Europe isn’t warm enough to grow coffee or sugar, so colonists from the Holy Roman Empire strapped on their thinking arbalests and solved this problem in that special way colonial empires do—by bringing plants to the Americas and the Caribbean and utilizing enslaved West Africans to grow coffee and sugar to feed their insatiable thirst.

Coffee plants eventually made it to the New World during the early 1700s, but didn’t really catch on until the Boston Tea Party in 1773, when switching from tea to coffee became an easy way to measure one’s patriotism, similar to the number of flag pins and Toby Keith CDs a person owns today.

THE RISE OF THE COFFEEHOUSE While it was common for coffee to be drunk in the home, by the 1500s public coffee houses had become popular places to socialize in villages and cities across the Middle East and east Africa. The coffee house was where you went if you wanted to know what was happening, where it was happening, and who was involved.

Soon they earned the nickname ‘schools of the wise’ which naturally drew the attention of paranoid tyrants, kings, and religious leaders who saw coffee and these dens of unfiltered knowledge as a threat to their authority. On cue, coffee bans popped up everywhere a threat from this dark elixir was suspected.

COVER STORY In 1511, for example, the governor of Mecca banned coffee drinking because he was afraid it would bring men together and give them the opportunity to discuss his failings. In the 16th century, Italian Catholic clergy claimed coffee to be Satanic and pressed for its prohibition until Pope Clement VIII tried the devil’s brew for himself and declared it safe for both body and soul.

About that same time, penalties in the Ottoman Empire for drinking jitter juice included being sewn into a leather bag and thrown into the waters of the Bosporus and by the mid 1700s Sweden had banned coffee and everything associated with it, including cups and dishes.

Never willing to fall behind in prohibiting things that taste good, British attempts to proscribe the intake of enthusiasm juice hinged on reasons more prurient than political. The 1674 Women’s Petition Against Coffee stated that coffee “made men as unfruitful as the deserts whence that unhappy berry is said to be brought”, blaming their husband’s erectile dysfunction on the “noxious puddle” of coffee.

Men, of course, did not take these claims lying down and protested, saying that “base adulterate wine” and “muddy ale” were the cause of men’s impotence. Coffee, they believed, was Viagra in a cup, sent by God to make their “erection more vigorous, ejaculation more full, adding a spiritual ascendency to the sperm,” because nothing says sexy-time quite like spiritually ascendant sperm.

In spite of these varied and sometimes entertaining attempts at banning the black ichor of life, coffee houses continued as places for intellectuals, revolutionaries, and dissidents to get hopped up on cupped lightning and discuss political and social upheaval.

Many eventually became targets, but profit outpaced persecution and coffee continued its march towards beverage dominance.

stunts growth and heat that dries the berries before they can be harvested.

Coffee farmers across South America, Asia and Africa are experiencing increased droughts, downpours, and plagues of crop-devouring pests as a result of global warming.

So why not just grow it somewhere else? The refined qualities we love about Arabica coffee (which accounts for about 70 percent of coffee sold worldwide) make it is far more sensitive to stress than its more bitter and less palatable cousin Robusta. Commercial Arabica has very little genetic diversity, making it delicate and particularly vulnerable to the new and unpredictable conditions resulting from climate change.

Will Arabica disappear? It’s unlikely, but the International Center for Tropical Agriculture (CIAT) released a report late last year that predicted the fragrance, aroma, aftertaste, body and sweetness of Arabica will all suffer due to encroaching climate change.

Some farmers are looking for ways to adapt. Some will graft Arabica onto Robusta rootstock or simply shift completely to Robusta. Where farmers are expecting fewer changes due to climate change, shade crops will be introduced to help minimize the impact of the heat and better irrigation systems can be used to combat unpredictable rains.

It’s unlikely these adaptations will make up for the loss of flavor and aroma that is coming to Arabica, but at least it’s some consolation.

For now, drink up. We are likely living in a moment of singularity—a moment in time when you can get virtually any type of coffee, at any time of day. Live the dream so we can tell our grandkids about the wonders of Arabica, our hero Kaldi’s goats and those delicious, magical berries.

“We are likely living in a moment of singularity—a moment in time when you can get virtually any type of coffee, at any time of day.”

SECOND WAVE COFFEE It wasn’t long before technology and innovation responded to consumer demand for coffee that was affordable and convenient. Folgers and Maxwell House became household names, Hills Bros. Coffee introduced vacuum packaging, and coffee became the drink of choice for the modern man, woman and sneaky child.

Convenience and availability, however, came at a cost to taste and quality which created a backlash in the ‘80s with micro-roasters cropping up like poppies to fulfill coffee drinker’s desire to have a better quality beverage, know the origin of the beans and how they were roasted.

Coffee drinking quickly became commercialized and now there’s a gourmet coffee shop on every corner, stocked and ready to whip up a triple Krakatoa mocha chiata with a sprinkling of dehydrated rhino beetle dust—venti.

THE FUTURE OF THE HOLY BEAN But all is not well for those who dedicate their mornings to the Goddess Caffeina. As we sip our Poison Dart Frog Mochas and read the daily headlines, climate change can seem like a distant threat. But for those who live, work and survive off of your desire for a morning Low-cal Frappa-Cremede-Menthol, the issue is far too real.

Coffee farmers in Chiapas, Mexico, for example, are seeing temperatures wildly fluctuating between cold that

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 9

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Learning The Power Of Visual Expression Bringing together art and social awareness

Photo by Jequise Beverly

By Beth Miller

Pulse contributor

I

S IT POSSIBLE FOR ART TO change our social and moral fabric?

Robert Henri (pronounced henrye) influenced the American art world in the late 1800s and into the 20th century with his rebellious approach to impressionism. Rather than the genteel artwork that had been the product of societal propriety, Henri and his followers sought to shift the focus of art to the community and everyday people.

After a lack of support, Henri walked out on The National Academy of Design in New York and created his own exhibition titled “The Eight” after the eight painters in the group.

Chattanooga has its own group of artists, the 800 Collective, who, much like Henri and his eight, seek to use art as a tool to create awareness of social issues. The moniker is a nod to Henri

10 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

and his eight painters along with the location of their original meetings on 800 Market Street.

Josiah Golson, 800’s founder, explains, “What’s important to us is people just realizing the power of visual expression itself, especially when visual expression is connected to things that affect us in everyday life and that affect our community.”

Sketchpads, pens and pencils lie scattered about the room among the various members who, in a round robin fashion, take turns commenting on each other’s work, their own work and the issues they are having with their work. Through this dialogue, the group finds ways in which to remedy creative blocks or to unlock dormant talents.

Golson admits that the 800 Collective is surprisingly made up of a large number of everyday people who do not consider themselves artists—artis-

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT “We find a way to have a creative and artistic dialogue about those things which helps us talk about them in a way you ordinarily don’t get to talk about [them],” Golson says. tic skills are not necessary and no materials are needed—everything is provided. Just bring yourself.

Golson, a former real estate lawyer, decided to step away from a life filled with desks, meetings and paper pushing to something he feels is more purposeful. Golson, who is very passionate about promoting social change admits, “I wanted to use artistic expression to reach those social goals rather than through legal means.”

Topics such as education, community safety and local economic issues are introduced into the monthly workshops.

“We find a way to have a creative and artistic dialogue about those things which helps us talk about them in a way you ordinarily don’t get to talk about [them],” Golson says.

Most recently the 800 Col-

lective worked alongside students at Howard High School on an art project titled “To Thine Be True”—a line taken directly from Howard’s alma mater. The goal of the project was to help the students create a sense of ownership of their learning environment rather than a place that is unwelcoming or restrictive.

Students painted various murals of their library, marching band members, and of themselves learning new things. The mural is clearly a celebration of the students and their lives and also a representation of the positive view the students place upon themselves.

A much larger initiative is taking place at Chattanooga’s City Hall. “The Welcome Well” is an old-fashioned wooden well that hosts a mixed media collage of local citizens of Chattanooga.

“The idea of the water well is to tell a story of integration with

the significance of water being a medium to bring people together,” Golson says.

Rather than display the exhibition in an area where other artists tread, the well is located in an environment that seeks the attention of all community members.

Back at the 800 workshop, individuals from all walks of life discuss the next social issue project or perhaps they simply sit in silence and work on a piece that is significant only to them. Either way the wheels of change continue to turn taking each person in a different direction revealing what is real to each creative and providing them with a new perspective for their artistic endeavors.

“Paint what you feel. Paint what you see. Paint what is real to you,” Henri said.

And much like Henri and his “Eight”, the 800 Collective is working to reveal the issues we all face and bring them to the attention of the community all in the name of change.

Is it possible for art to change us? Be one of the 800 and find out.

Celebrating Wood Sculptures With Song The visionary sculpted artwork of Bessie Harvey, which is primarily made from found wood, is a permanent display at the Hunter Museum. However, this Thursday you are invited to attend an exhibition of the artwork, titled “River City Sessions and the Spirits of the Forest,” which will feature stories and music centered on her unique style of folk art.

Michael Gray, of River City Sessions, a local organization that works to bring together music and storytelling to honor the South, will be performing with naturalist Holli Richey and musician Robin Burke.

“Gray is a storyteller who works with other musicians and storytellers to explore a work of art in new ways, which is the plan for Thursday,” explained Adera Causey, Curator of Education at the Hunter

Museum.

Although Bessie Harvey passed away in 1994, her work still lives on and is being honored in a variety of different ways. “River City Sessions and the Spirits of the Forest” is just one of the many ways to pay homage to the artist’s found wood-themed sculptures. The program will be held at 6 p.m. this Thursday at the Hunter Museum. Regular museum admission allows guests to partake in the musical storytelling experience of Bessie Harvey’s work.

— Addie Whitlow

River City Sessions and the Spirits of the Forest Thursday, 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View · (423) 267-0968 www.huntermuseum.org

THU1.26

FRI1.27

SAT1.28

Dvorák’s Symphony No. 7

Unite. Wear White.

The Gruffalo Movie Screening

Featuring the Metropolitan Opera Principal Trumpeter Billy Hunter.

7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 chattanoogasymphony.org

Help take a stand and take part in commemorating National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. 9 a.m.

DoubleTree Hotel 407 Chestnut St. (423) 994-4857 secondlifechattanooga.org

An enchanting film that tells the story of a mouse who goes in search of a nut.

10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium IMAX 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 11

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

How To Build A Shiitake Log

THURSDAY1.26 CSA Crop Planning 9 a.m.

Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. crabtreefarms.org Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. signalmountainfarmersmarket.com Jay Chris Newberg 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. thecomedycatch.com River City Sessions and the Spirits of the Forest 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Stab, Stab, Stab! Needle Felting for Stress Relief 6 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. thechattery.org Winter Workshop: How to Plan and Lead a Day Hike 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. outdoorchattanooga.com Dvořák’s Symphony No. 7

12 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogasymphony.org

FRIDAY1.27 Unite. Wear White.

9 a.m.

DoubleTree Hotel 407 Chestnut St. secondlifechattanooga.org Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Mellow Murray Weekend 11 a.m.

Mellow Mushroom 2318 Lifestyle Way mellowmushroom.com

The Snow Queen 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com Jay Chris Newberg 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. thecomedycatch.com

SATURDAY1.28 How To Build A Shiitake Log 9 a.m.

Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. crabtreefarms.org St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303

SPOTLIGHT: JAY CHRIS NEWBERG Starting out as a bar musician in Detroit, and studying improvisation at The famed Second City, Newberg has evolved into a humorous live performer who fuses music, melody and hook.

Jay Chris Newberg The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

The Gruffalo Movie Screening 10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium IMAX 201 Chestnut St. tnaqua.org/imax Northside Farmers Market 10 am.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Puccini’s Greatest Hits 11 a.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Mellow Murray Weekend 11 a.m.

Mellow Mushroom 2318 Lifestyle Way mellowmushroom.com Ceramic and Mixed Media Demonstration with Amber Anne Palo 11 a.m.

River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. river-gallery.com The Snow Queen 2:30, 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Jay Chris Newberg 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR Amber Anne Palo Demonstration

SUNDAY1.29 Mellow Murray Weekend 11 a.m.

Mellow Mushroom 2318 Lifestyle Way mellowmushroom.com The Snow Queen 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com Contra Dance for Everyone!

5:30 p.m.

Brainerd United Methodist Church 4315 Brainerd Rd. contranooga.weebly.com Jay Chris Newberg 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY1.30 Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist Church 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804 Mayoral Forum 6 p.m.

Greater Tucker Missionary Baptist Church 1115 N. Moore Rd. (423) 698-0029 ncbw-chattanooga.org Comedy Taping with

Donnie Marsh 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

TUESDAY1.31 Drawing Essentials 9 a.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. townsendatelier.com East Brainerd Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. lookoutfarmersmarket.com Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. chattilibrary.com Foodie Film Series: That Sugar Film 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Eyes and Ears: Exploring the Intersection of Music and Art 7 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. utc.edu/fine-arts-center Improv Chattanooga 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. thecomedycatch.com Comedy Buffet

8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY2.1 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Main Street Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Creating a Side Hustle: Amazon 6 p.m.

Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Beginning Relief Sculpture Class 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Rodney Alan Wiggins 7 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 29 Station St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 13

MUSIC

New York's Coach N' Commando Invades Pyschobilly Punk duo headlines Mayo's

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

M

AYO’S ON BRAINERD RD. has a reputation as one of Chattanooga’s favorite holein-the-wall bars, but did you know they put on some pretty damn fine shows as well? Many people do not, and that’s a shame. At one time, it was as much a music venue as any place and it seems like more and more lately they’re determined to reclaim and keep that title as the next few weeks see some hot acts.

This Friday, Mayo’s is blowing the doors off with one of the most blistering shows in town featuring two artists I’ve had the pleasure of writing about, Tomcat Hughes and GA Brown, and

14 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

one that’s new to me, and maybe you.

They’re called Coach N' Commando and they’re about to become your next favorite group.

Coach N' Commando is a New York based duo (though their Facebook page lists a third member, Kitten Karnage. I don’t know who or what Kitten Karnage is, but I dig the name.) The band features Matt Witte on guitar and vocals and John Swayne on drums, and that’s it. Frankly, that’s all they need. These guys squeeze out more raw musical goodness with that basic setup than plenty of bands do with twice the lineup.

Ostensibly listed as psychobilly and alt-country, the first thing that came screaming in to my head after listening to the title track of their 2016 album

MUSIC “They clearly have a command of punk, country, rockabilly and more, and each song seems to utilize a different ratio of those elements.”

Kids’ll Lose Their Heads was pure punk.

Sure, the instrumentation is beautifully twangy and if they hadn’t listed Merle Travis as an influence, it would have been easy enough to guess, but the punk is strong with this one.

Of course, that description is basically what psychobilly is in the first place, so it’s apt, I’m just sharing a first impression.

Moving on through the album it becomes clearer that you’re only approximating them by slapping any particular label on. They clearly have a command of punk, country (the good kind from the old days), rockabilly and more, and each song seems to utilize a different ratio of those elements.

That’s a nice touch because it gives the album cohesion, but allows enough clever variety to keep you on your toes and engaged. Rather like a master chef combining a particular range of spices in different ways to produce distinct but delicious recipes.

Witte’s vocals, a fascinating blend of Townes Van Zandt, Bruce Springsteen and Mojo Nixon, allow him to glide seamlessly between genres as the particular song dictates. “Chokin’ On a Mouthful of Louisiana Dirt” is a perfect example of that vocal versatility (and my

personal favorite track.)

Witte’s guitar is no less profound with more than one opening lick sounding like a Buck Owens record before fuzzing up and thrashing out like Nixon. I’m not going to claim to be an authority on the genre. I know who some of the biggest names are, even had the pleasure of seeing the Reverend Horton Heat once. I’ve seen a handful and regional acts too, that came and went. Most of them were…adequate.

Coach N' Commando, on the other hand, owns the stage. Between Witte on guitar and vocals and Swayne providing the backbone sans bass (the guy somehow manages to be wickedly precise while simultaneous sounding like a dam about to burst), Coach N' Commando is one of the very best of their kind I’ve heard in a long time.

Tomcat and GA are well-known heavyhitters in this area. Coach N' Commando are about to be as well and it’s about time.

The combination of all three on the same bill is genius and kudos to Chris Moree for getting C N' C down here. He’s not just a great musician; he has an ear for talent.

Mayo’s, this Friday, it’s going to be a hell of a show. For a sample of their music, find them on bandcamp, or better still, get a feel for their real intensity on YouTube.

Hot and Heavy with Hank & Cupcakes This Friday in the Revelry Room, viewers can come and witness the exciting and wild Brooklyn duo Hank and Cupcakes.

With an indescribable sound and persona, Hank and Cupcakes will be putting on a show that you are not likely to forget.

Hank and his many pedals will be on full display as he attacks his bass guitar. Cupcakes will be standing playing the drums, and belting out the groovy lyrics Hank and Cupcakes are known for.

This duo has a classic rock and roll sex appeal no longer often seen in the industry. Hailing from Tel Aviv (Hank) and Melbourne (Cupcakes), this dynamic duo’s unique performance will surely be a fun time for all in attendance.

Hank and Cupcakes will feature Chattanooga’s own Kindora

this Friday starting at 9 p.m. in the Revelry Room. This duo is sure to get you dancing, and will put on a fun-loving punk performance that is both funky and electric. This genre fluid duo has an incomparable vibe on stage and has a sound that is both raw, yet refined.

With consistent vocals and an unapologetic realness, this is a show you don’t want to miss.

— Alex Plaumann

Hank & Cupcakes Friday, 9 p.m. · The Revelry Room 41 Station Street · (423) 521-2929 · www.revelryroom.co

THU1.26

FRI1.27

SAT1.28

Loud Jamz with The Power Triplets

The Big Green Funk, Matthew Paul Revere, We The Arcturians

The Bar Exam

Need some adventure with your music? Don't mind at all if it's loud? Have we got a combination just for you!

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Time to get your funk on with three funktastic bands all on one night.

9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net

It's an open-mic showdown judged by industry pros and the audience to see who 'passes the bar" and moves on to Atlanta.

8 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 15

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Tedeschi Trucks Band

THURSDAY1.26 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m.

Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Loud Jamz, Power Triplets 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Stir, Future Babes, Focus Fox 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net.

FRIDAY1.27 An Evening with Beppe Gambetta 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

16 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Teddy Lewis 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com The Big Green Funk, Matthew Paul Revere, We The Arcturians 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Bohannons, Lew Card, Ben Milburn, Sunglass Moustache 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Hank and Cupcakes 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Jonathan Wimpee

9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Shawnessey Cargile 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Sullivan Band 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Alchemy 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SATURDAY1.28 Puccini’s Greatest Hits

PULSE SPOTLIGHT: AN EVENING WITH BEPPE GAMBETTA One of the world’s great acoustic guitarists, who also happens to be one of the most captivating performers you’ll ever encounter.

An Evening with Beppe Gambetta Friday, 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

11 a.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Rick Rushing Noon The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com The Bar Exam 8 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Tedeschi Trucks Band 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Teddy Lewis 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Departure: The Journey Tribute Band 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co The Young Fables 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Lost Generation, Silver Tongued Devilz, Virginia Avenue, Faith Head 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Everviglent, Dream Collective, Plastic Friends,

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Yarn Nightfrog, Milk Chalk 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com John Hartford Tribute: Sheriff Scott and The Deputies 9:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org The Vegabonds 10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Jack Kirton 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Sullivan Band 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Alchemy 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SUNDAY1.29 Lon Eldridge 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Mellifux 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar

55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Chattanooga’s Bach Choir and Orchestra Cantata 4 p.m.

Christ Church Chattanooga 663 Douglas St. christchurchchatt.org The Dali Quartet 4 p.m.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 305 W. 7th St. stpaulschatt.org Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Swamp, Side Affect, Jim Shorts 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

MONDAY1.30 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga. com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessy Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY1.31 Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

WEDNESDAY2.1 Joel Clyde 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Yarn 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 17

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Various Artists Burkina Faso (Sublime Frequencies)

Ginger Root Spotlight People (Clew)

T

West African nation on three trips from 2013 to 2015.

The first volume features two long tracks featuring a Lobi balafon (xylophone) player with three accompanying performers on hand drum, a clinking hand-held metallic instrument, and a rattling, buzzing plucked string instrument.

The first track spotlights “Cabaret Music” with its relentless stream of xylophone notes that are mirrored by the player’s wordless vocalizations

he globe-trotting label Sublime Frequencies has proven to be one of the most diversely fascinating labels currently operating, being a sort of more homegrown, rougher, exclusively non-Western-world version of Smithsonian Folkways.

Its recent triple-LP boxed set Burkina Faso (also available as digital downloads) is an absolutely captivating and enlightening collection, taken from label co-founder Hisham Mayet’s field recordings made in the

18 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

and several different rhythmic trajectories; although the second track is “Funeral Music,” it’s actually surprisingly upbeat and as entrancing as “Cabaret Music.”

Volume 2 branches out into a variety of styles—Mossi, Bissa, Bwaba, Fulani and Samo music—with passionate singing and chanting with insistent, jittery koundé (lute) playing.

The volume’s final track hammers out a riff in a duet using a koundé and a lolongo, which is a mouth harp that is the size of an archery bow; with tiny note variations and rhythmic phasing, a simple three-note pattern is transformed into an astoundingly effective slice of minimalism.

Selections on Volume 3 represent the Dioula and also Donso hunters—an animist sect—who use their brisk music to help power-up and provide protection, featuring the Donso ngoni (“hunter’s harp”), a stringed instrument made from a large gourd. Fassobolomba’s stirring “Bougnabagnale” uses calland-response vocals and whips up a fervor with a burst of acceleration at the end.

This is a remarkable collection and a deep dive, covering a number of styles, song forms and instruments; its unifying threads include an

earthy minimalism, a tireless improvisational spirit and the ability to put the listener into a spellbound state through a hypnotic momentum.

H

untington Beach, Californiabased multi-instrumentalist Cameron Lew’s first solo album from 2015, welp., is full of joyously homemade, glowing power-pop that was, in the artist’s words, “influenced heavily on whatever band he was into at that time.”

With that in mind, Lew’s new album Spotlight People, released under the moniker Ginger Root, seems to be under the heavy influence of Stevie Wonder, with a general ‘70s soul-pop vibe with light funk and soft rock elements—perhaps like a less flamboyant yet equally festive lowrent Earth, Wind and Fire crossed with Steely Dan bits.

This writer also offers the theory that Spotlight People was influenced heavily by whatever keyboard Lew was into at that time. And that keyboard happens to be a Nord Electro 2, which specializes in mimicking classic electric pianos and organs, such as the distinctive Hammond B3, down to simulating its tonewheels and rotary speaker.

Lew immerses himself gleefully in

its sounds, perhaps with a kid-in-acandy-store pleasure; gentle readers, think back to when you first encountered, say, a 100-instrument Casio keyboard and found delight in going through each sound, one-by-one.

Take for example “Belleza” which (if this writer’s ears don’t deceive him) unabashedly throws down some funky clavinet notes, bringing to mind Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition,” within the easygoing, electric pianodriven song that brings to mind the spirit of the breezy pop band True Love Always.

Lew employs a number of guest vocalists and collaborators on Spotlight People, which is a good idea, especially with the lovely singing from Emily Iverson on “Belleza” and Kira Magoon on “Emulous.” The arrangements are full but not indulgent—that is, not big just for the sake of being big—with each instrument’s sound shaped with care and purpose, from the gliding bass lines to the swift-yet-gentle guitar chord swipes.

It’s blatantly nostalgic with a worship of classic keyboards, and if that doesn’t bother you, the easy-to-like charm of Spotlight People is a worthwhile escapist diversion, lovingly crafted.

FOOD & DRINK ∙ DINING OUT

Crepes With A Southside Twist Adelle’s Creperie brings Chattanooga a traditional European treat

By Brooke Brown

A

Pulse assistant editor

FRESH NEW FACE IN SWEET and savory treats popped up at the Granfalloon this summer, and it goes by the name of Adelle’s Creperie.

The crepes at Adelle’s are a classic treat that will have everyone clamoring to E. Main Street rather than the airport for a trip across the pond.

“I grew up around crepes,” says Adelle, 13-year-old part owner and the inspiration behind the shop itself and its namesake.

With her father hailing from England where they celebrate a holiday dubbed “pancake day” (aka crepe day), Adelle knows a thing or two about crepes and how they are meant to be.

When I think of crepes, my mind instantly thinks of the thin, pancakey delight filled with hazlenutty Nutella, but it turns out crepes can be a variety of things. From sweet to savory, Adelle’s offers a wide selection of both crepes, as well as a buildyour-own option.

“My favorite thing about crepes is that they’re a blank canvas. They can be sweet, savory, filled with whatever you want,” says Adelle.

Her favorite savory crepe is The Roma, stuffed with turkey, tomato, pesto and Havarti cheese with a special “Adelle Sauce” drizzle. Her favorite sweet crepe? That would be The Royale, filled to the brim with nutella, fresh strawberries, and drizzled in

Adelle’s Creperie

Winter Hours 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tues-Sat 400 E. Main St ∙ Chattanooga (423) 531-2222 www.adellescreperie.com

chocolate. I’ve tried that Nutella-y, strawberry goodness and can say with absolute clarity I’d eat it for breakfast, lunch, snack, you name it. (If you can’t choose between sweet and savory, order the Half Savory & Half Sweet crepe to experience the best of both!)

Adelle’s offers options for whatever you’re up for with their new expanded menu. Beyond crepes they offer full size salads, soups, paninis, and Belgian waffles and omelettes, making it a fantastic spot for brunch. They offer a full bar, so order a crepe and mimosa and enjoy the calm. You might even catch a jazz pianist playing a tune on their piano one Saturday as there is always something going on.

If you’re tired of the hustle and bustle of the coffeehouse, take a seat at Adelle’s and try a cup of their cold brew, provided by Mayfly Coffee on Signal. Or if you’re in a hurry, get that coffee to-go and take a crepe with you!

“All of our crepes can be to-go boxed in our little handheld crepe carriers,” says manager Melissa Christensen. It’s a quicker, and more delicious, alternative to grabbing a bagel or sitting in a drivethru on the way into work. “Even if we have a line of ten to fifteen people, your wait time is probably around five minutes for a crepe togo.”

Their cold brew is the perfect addition to your morning, or maybe a cup of hot chocolate, made

“My favorite thing about crepes is that they’re a blank canvas. They can be sweet, savory, filled with whatever you want,” says Adelle. with real milk and chocolate chips rather than a powder. It may be January, but the weather is hot and cold, so go ahead and try one of their milkshakes using real milk and their all natural ice creams.

“We have amazing flavors, all natural with the exception of the Blue Bunny strawberry we use,” says Melissa. The seven all-natural flavors come in cinnamon brown sugar, pumpkin spice, coffee,

blood orange sorbet, caramel, chocolate, and vanilla.

For the time being you can experience these European treats and so much more at Adelle’s Creperie, but in the future, maybe you’ll see them around town. Having a crepe making station at local events is something they look forward to as they grow. That’s one interest of Adelle’s that Chattanooga will be thrilled to see in action.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19

FILM & TELEVISION

Capitalism Meets The Humble Hamburger The Founder traces how McDonald's became an iconic American success story

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

T

HERE’S A STORY TOLD BY MARKET capitalists. It’s one about the importance of tenacity, about the necessity of bootstrapping, about the power of elbow grease. It’s a nice story, filled with fairy tales about American innovation and small town success. But like most fiction, it’s never the whole truth.

While necessity may be the mother of invention, inventions themselves are just products to be packaged and sold. Highly successful businesses aren’t built on handshakes, trust, and mutual respect.

They’re built by undercutting the competition, breaking contracts, and overpowering enemies with capital and lawyers.

The real message of American trade has always been look out for number one. This idea is on display in The Founder, another biopic about a famous American business man who single-handedly created the fast food industry. He never made a hamburger, never manned a fryer, and never mixed a shake. Instead, he took someone else’s idea, sold it around the country, and took credit for its success.

He was a Willy Loman-style salesman that managed to strike while the iron was hot. Ray Kroc gave the world McDonald’s by stepping on the dreams of the people that started it. The Founder tells the story of how he did it.

Kroc (Michael Keaton) spent most of his life as a salesman, the type that hawks various gadgets that nobody really needs. He went door to door selling “As-Seen-On-TV” products before they were marketed on channels like QVC. When we meet him, he’s moved on to selling five spindle milkshake mixers to mom and pop drive-ins across the U.S.

He sees the same thing everywhere he goes—hordes of teenagers making messes, long waits for mediocre food, and inattentive wait staff with poor customer service skills.

But then he gets an order from a place in California requesting five milkshake machines at once. It’s a burger stand in San Bernadino and its revolutionary. Brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald (Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch) have created the “Speedy” system of food preparation, complete with a kitchen designed around giving the customer a fully cooked burger and fries in under thirty seconds.

Packaging has been designed as disposable, so there are no plates or silverware to wash. Customers walk up to the window, order their food, and eat it outside or in their cars. It’s like nothing anyone has ever seen.

Kroc immediately recognizes the potential of franchising. But the brothers have tried it before—they discovered that they were unable to ensure quality across the different locations. Still, Kroc convinces them to try it again, with him at the helm.

His approach is similar to theirs, at first, but when he experiences the same problems, begins a new strategy.

Through trial and error, Kroc begins to understand that he’s really in

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter Picking up immediately after the events in Resident Evil: Retribution, Alice is the only survivor of what was meant to be humanity's final stand against the undead. Now, she must return to where the nightmare began: The Hive.

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson Stars: Ruby Rose, Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Iain Glen 20 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

the real estate business. Lease the land to franchisees, pull their lease if they break from the standards set out by the company. Thus, corporate food service is born.

To the credit of the film, Kroc is not portrayed as an especially likable person. He’s a salesman, single-minded, unconcerned with personal relationships beyond what others can do for him. He is emotionally estranged from his first wife after years of selling her on “the next big thing” and divorces her as soon as someone better comes along (the always welcome Linda Cardellini).

His drive leads to great success at the expense of those that created the product he sells. It’s hard not to feel bad for the brothers McDonald,

especially considering their obsession with quality. That they became famous for second-rate hamburgers is only second to how much they lost on an ill-advised, handshake deal.

But the story itself is about Kroc.

At the beginning of the film, we see him listening to a record called the Power of the Positive, repeating old adages about the strength of persistence. At the end, we hear Kroc preparing a speech, recalling the record word for word. It’s a reminder of who he is—a peddler of other people’s dreams, a thief of good ideas, and marketer of empty platitudes. There’s nothing more American than that.

The Founder is a good film, one that reminds us why we can’t have nice things.

Gold An unlikely pair venture to the Indonesian jungle in search of gold. Yep, that's pretty much the entire plot, but it also stars Matthew McConaughey all but completely transformed from his usual look, so there's that.

Director: Stephen Gaghan Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Edgar Ramírez

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ∙ ROB BREZSNY AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A London-based think tank does an annual study to determine which of the world’s countries offers the most freedom. The Legatum Institute measures indicators like civil liberties, social tolerance, and the power to choose one’s destiny.

The current champion is Luxembourg. Canada is in second place.

France is 22nd, the U.S. is 26th, and Italy 27th. Since I’m hoping you will markedly enhance your own personal freedom in the coming months, you might want to consider moving to Luxembourg. If that’s not an option, what else could you do? The time is ripe to hatch your liberation plans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I love to see dumpsters that have been decorated by graffiti artists. Right now there’s one by the side of a busy road that I often drive down.

Its drab gray exterior has been transformed into a splash of cartoon images and scripts. Amidst signatures that look like “Riot Goof” and “Breakfast Toys” and “Sky Blooms,” I can discern a ninja rhinoceros and a gold-crowned jaguar and an army of flying monkeys using squirt guns to douse a forest fire. I suspect it’s a perfect time to for you to be inspired by this spectacle, Pisces. What dumpster-like situation could you beautify?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Westward Ho! is the name of a village in southwestern England. Its name is impressive because of the exclamation point. But it’s not as dramatic as that of the only town on earth with two exclamation points: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, which is in Quebec. I invite you Aries folks to be equally daring.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you have a cosmic mandate and poetic license to cram extra !!!!s into all your writing and speaking, and even add them to the spelling of your name! Why? Because this should be one of the most exciting and ebullient phases of your astrological cycle—a time to risk showing just how enthusiastic and energetic you are!!!!!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The New York Film Critics Circle named Casey Affleck the Best Actor of the year for his role in the film Manchester by the Sea. In his acceptance speech at the award ceremony, Affleck gave a dramatic reading of quotes by David Edelstein, a prominent critic who has criticized his work. “Mumbly and mulish,” was one of Edelstein’s jabs about Affleck. “Doesn’t have a lot of variety,” was another. A third: “Whenever I see Affleck’s name in a movie’s credits, you can expect a standard, genre B picture— slowed down and tarted up.” I suspect that in the coming weeks, Taurus, you may get a vindication comparable to Affleck’s. I suggest you have wicked fun with it, as he did.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The roulette wheels at casinos in Monaco have 37 pockets. Eighteen are black, 18 are red, and one is green. On any particular spin, the ball has just less than half a chance of landing in a red or black pocket. But there was one night back in August of 1913, at the Casino de Monte-Carlo, when probability seemed inoperative.

The little white ball kept landing on the black over and over again.

Gamblers responded by increasingly placing heavy bets on red numbers. They assumed the weird luck would soon change.

But it didn’t until the 27th spin.

(The odds of that happening were 136,823,184 to 1.) What does this have to do with you? I suspect you’re in a comparable situation -- the equivalent of about 20 spins into an improbable streak. My advice: Don’t bet on the red yet.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Born to a religious mother on July 8, 1839, John D. Rockefeller amassed a fortune in the oil industry. Even in comparison to modern billionaires like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, he’s the richest American who ever lived. “God gave me the money,” he said on numerous occasions. Now I’m going to borrow the spirit of Rockefeller’s motto for your use, Cancerian. Why? Because it’s likely you will be the recipient of blessings that prompt you to wonder if the Divine Wow is involved. One of these may indeed be financial in nature. (P.S.: Such boons are even more likely to transpire if you’re anchored in your sweet, dark wisdom and your holy, playful creativity.)

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the beginning was the wild cabbage.

Our ancestors found that it had great potential as food, and proceeded to domesticate it. Over the centuries, they used selective breeding to develop many further variations on the original.

Kale and kohlrabi were the first to appear. By the 15th century, cauliflower had been created. Broccoli came along a hundred years later, followed by Brussels sprouts. Today there are at least 20 cultivars whose lineage can be traced back to the wild cabbage. In my astrological opinion, you Libras are in a wild cabbage phase of your long-term cycle. In the coming months you can and should do seminal work that will ultimately generate an abundance of useful derivatives.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 1733, workers finished building the New Cathedral in Salamanca, Spain. But if you go there today, you will see two seemingly modern elements on one facade: carvings of a helmeted astronaut and of a gargoyle licking an ice cream cone. These two characters were added by craftsmen who did renovations on the cathedral in 1992.

I offer this vignette as metaphor for your life, Scorpio. It’s a favorable time to upgrade and refine an old structure in your life. And if you do take advantage of this opening, I suggest you add modern touches.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What influence do you need most in your life right now? Are you suffering because you lack a particular kind of help or teaching? Would you benefit from having a certain connection that you have not yet figured out how to make? Is there a person or event that could heal you if you had a better understanding about how you need to be healed? The coming weeks will be a favorable time to get useful answers to these questions—and then take action based on what you discover.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will be afforded opportunities to bend the rules in ways that could make life simpler, more pleasurable, and more successful—or all of the above. To help you deal with the issue of whether these deviations would have integrity, I offer you these questions: Would bending the rules serve a higher good, not just your selfish desires? Is there an approach to bending the rules that may ultimately produce more compassionate results than not bending the rules? Could you actually get away with bending the rules, both in the sense of escaping punishment and also in the sense of being loyal to your own conscience?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The next two weeks will be a favorable time to kiss the feet of helpful allies, but not to kiss the butts of clever manipulators. I also advise you to perform acts of generosity for those who will use your gifts intelligently, but not for those who will waste your blessings or treat you like a doormat.

Here’s my third point: Consider returning to an old fork in the road where you made a wrong turn, and then making the correct turn this time. But if you do, be motivated by bright hope for a different future rather than by sludgy remorse for your error.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I don’t necessarily guarantee that you will acquire paranormal powers in the coming weeks. I’m not saying that you will be able to foretell the future or eavesdrop on conversations from a half-mile away or transform water into whiskey-flavored coffee. But I do suspect that you will at least tap further into a unique personal ability that has been mostly just potential up until now. Or you may finally start using a resource that has been available for a long time. For best results, open your imagination to the possibility that you possess dormant magic.

“Stuck on You”—so smooth, you can’t even tell.

ACROSS 1 A-list notable 6 “Big Blue” company 9 Exudes affection 14 Tell jokes to 15 Perrins’s partner in sauce 16 TV host with a book club 17 Slow reaction to making tears?

19 1980s attorney general Edwin 20 157.5 deg. from N 21 Insurer’s calculation 22 Gave bad luck to 23 ___ Lingus (carrier to Dublin) 24 Red-sweatered Ken from a 2016 presidential debate 25 Voracious “readers” of old audiobooks, slangily?

31 Responsibility shirker’s cry 32 Coyote’s cries 33 Gulf Coast st.

35 Bitty amount 36 Test versions 37 Ditch 38 “All Things Considered” cohost Shapiro

39 Ninja Turtles’ hangout 40 ___ and variations 41 Three fingers from the bartender, for instance?

44 John’s “Double Fantasy” collaborator 45 Blackhawks and Red Wings org.

46 Montana moniker 49 1978-’98 science magazine 51 “___ death do us part” 54 Act histrionically 55 What the three longest answers are actually held together by 57 XTC’s “Making Plans for ___” 58 Adjust, as a skirt 59 Corset shop dummy 60 Newspaper piece 61 Creator of a big head 62 React to Beatlemania, perhaps DOWN 1 Ill-bred men 2 Auckland Zoo animals

3 Fortune founder Henry 4 Strong following?

5 Doctor’s orders, sometimes 6 Societal woes 7 Bird’s bill 8 Could possibly 9 Franchise whose logo has three pips 10 Letter tool 11 “Bang a Gong (Get It On)” rockers 12 Facility 13 Leave hairs everywhere 18 Britain’s neighbor, to natives 22 Prominent part of a Nixon caricature 23 K2’s continent 24 Haunted house warning 25 Brewer of Keystone and Blue Moon 26 Top floor 27 “Quadrophenia” band 28 Pacific Northwestern pole 29 Craftsperson, in steampunk circles 30 Nickelodeon’s green subtance-

in-trade 31 Actress Vardalos 34 “George of the Jungle” creature 36 First name mentioned in “Baby Got Back” 37 Jewish house of prayer 39 Carmichael who coined the phrase “black power” 40 Cannon fodder for the crowd?

42 Seafood in a “shooter” 43 Elsa’s sister 46 Folds and Harper, for two 47 Unreal: abbr.

48 Type of dancer or boot 49 “In My Own Fashion” autobiographer Cassini 50 Sticky note note 51 Pasty luau fare 52 ___ facto 53 “Sex on Fire” group Kings of ___ 55 “Weekend Update” cohost Michael 56 Haul a trailer

Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 816 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 21

FOOD & DRINK ∙ ON THE BEAT

Five-Oh Below Zero Officer Alex muses on how to keep amused during the inevitable cold spells

Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

I

CAME BACK INTO THE FIRE HALL with absolutely no sensation in my cheeks despite the weird scarf-contraption-thing dear ol’ Momma Teach had bought me years ago pulled up over my nose, and the leather (pleather?) gloves with separate glove liners having experienced equal failure in keeping my fingers functional. I mean I’m talking about wearing gloves over my gloves, and still risking frostbite here.

“This is southeast Tennessee!” I cried out inside. I tried to grit my teeth in anger, but they wouldn’t stop chattering.

Another failure.

I closed my eyes and stood still a moment, and despite my past becoming exceedingly cloudier as pasts tend to do over the years, I could barely recall a time that winter brought any joy whatsoever. I mean your drinks stayed cool in the back of the truck 24/7 without ice, and grass didn’t grow and leaves no longer fell, but beyond that…? I dunno. Wearing a coat makes it easier to conceal a gun off-duty, and that’s about it. “Woo.” There were no more subtle joys…or what few there were have been perpetually overshadowed by their professionally related downsides, because a cold beverage was no relief for the insane difficulty the simple act of micturition had become when you have now added two layers of zippered, buttoned, and Velcro’d apparel designed to accommodate the protrusions of a mod-

ern gunbelt, making an already difficult task under pressure (aka, “having waited too long”) now the equivalent of the life and death terror of disarming a literal dirty bomb from which there would be no hope of social escape.

“Lighten up fella,” my partner said. “You’re like the angry Joe Pesci of cold weather.”

“Exactly!” I said. “And I’m going to change that.”

A look of disbelief from my partner was potentially genuine, and he said “How do you plan to change that, by walking outside every 20 or 30 minutes like a moron?” I smiled in response. Or at least I think I did. Numbness, after all.

“By finding joy again, my good man. By turning this ice into a Slush Puppy. I’m putting the bubbles back onto this beer, brother.” I actually winked at him…an act akin to making eye contact while in the sanctity of a public restroom, just to throw him off. Then I checked my watch, stood, and walked back outside for what would be the last time this night…my mission here was nearly over and I’d be heading home shortly.

There was silence for a short while in the common room of Number 11 Fire Station, and one of its perverted Blue Shift residents who had been busy trying to watch a “Friday Night Lights” marathon while we sought warmth these last several hours decided to break his silence with the words, “You better

22 • THE PULSE • JANUARY 26, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

check on your boy.”

My partner squinted his eyes in confusion, while the fireman’s eyes never left the TV screen. “Huh?” “Your boy,” he repeated. “Whatchoo think he’s been doing every little while outside? He crazy,” he paused. “You see.”

Smitty sat there a few seconds, but at heart knew the deviant was right. He silently stood, put his own coat on, and stepped outside. The litany of foul language was almost immediate.

I had been stepping outside every twenty minutes for at least two and a half hours applying coat after coat of cold water to the exterior of my co-worker’s patrol car until the ice was so thick you could barely identify it for what it was, except for the strange extra hump the light bar added to its now crystalline roof.

Fire stations have water spigots inside their bay doors where they will not freeze. I had always assumed this was the sole purpose for such. I could have just squirted

water into the door locks and been done with it, sure…but was that the work of a man committed to bettering himself? I mean truly committed? No. Two inches of nearly bubble-less ice covering a 2001 Crown Vic: Now that was “commitment.”

“It’s 16 degrees…how am I gonna thaw…how am I gonna get in it? How am I gonna get home…?”

(Panic sets in.)

The fireman heard the histrionics outside, and allowed himself a smile that almost turned into a laugh…all, again, without his eyes leaving the television screen. “Told you he was crazy,” he said to no one at all.

Retaliation would be brutal…but it sure as hell wouldn’t be tonight, he thought before losing himself again in the Food Network channel.

(Stay warm, folks.)

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • JANUARY 26, 2017 • THE PULSE • 23