The Pulse 13.11 » March 17, 2016

MARCH 17, 2016

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

THE BATTLE FOR THE WORKERS DO UNIONS STILL HAVE A PLACE IN AMERICA TODAY? RayTerry looks at the past, present and future of the labor movement

SOUTHERN LITERATURE • GIRLS ROCK • WHITHER THE WITCH?

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Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Editorial Assistant Brooke Dorn

March 17, 2016 Volume 13, Issue 11

Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Steven W. Disbrow Matt Jones • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Ward Raymond Alex Teach • RayTerry • Michael Turner Editorial Interns Rebekah Jones • Ja'Lisa Little

Features

Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

4 BEGINNINGS: Anachronistic Daylight Savings Time change wreaks utter havoc.

Cover Illustration U.S. National Archives and Records Administration

5 THE LIST: St. Patrick’s Day.

FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Robyn Graves Linda Hisey • Rick Leavell Stacey Tyler • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

6

Who Stands With The Workers?

In an increasingly divided political country, one of the most contentious issues facing American businesses and workers today is the right to organize. The question facing many union supporters is whether the labor movement is still viable, and whether there is a future for unions, both nationwide and right here at home.

14

A Forgotten Historical Nightmare

Unspeakable murders. A marriage gone flat. Illegal rotgut whiskey. Two infernal revenuers, one with a heart of gold. A lost baby, orphaned and bereft in the coming storm. Working with those story elements, Tom Franklin and Beth Ann Fennelly could have written a pretty good yarn.

20

Girls Just Wanna Rock

10 SCREEN: The Witch is a compelling allegory of modern fears of survival.

13 JUST A THEORY: Humans aren’t the only ones who “talk” to each other.

16 ARTS CALENDAR 19 MIXOLOGY: Warm weather beers for spring break or any warm day.

22 MUSIC CALENDAR 24 REVIEWS: Stereolab co-founder returns, Aziza Brahim speaks to the soul of refugees everywhere.

27 DIVERSIONS 28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Ah, spring, when a vinyl collector’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of Record Store Day. Saturday, April 16th is Record Store Day, and while it might seem odd to bring it up a month out, there is a purpose here.

29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex explains how to avoid ever getting a traffic ticket.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 3

NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVES

BEGINNINGS

UPDATES » CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM FACEBOOK/CHATTANOOGAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Losing Sleep With Daylight "Savings" The anachronistic Daylight Savings Time change wreaks utter havoc This past Monday morning, the sun should rise so early, I looked thousands of Chattanoogans stuminto the almanac, where I found it bled their way into work trying to to be the hour given for his rising adjust their body clocks to Daylight on that day,” Franklin wrote in 1784 Savings Time, asking themselves in a letter to the editor of the Jour“Why do we still do nal of Paris. “I looked this?” forward, too, and Good question. found he was to rise Invented by Benjastill earlier every day min Franklin, an othtill towards the end MICHAEL TURNER erwise clear-thinking of June; and that at individual, many historians believe no time in the year he retarded his it was done simply as a joke. rising so long as till eight o’clock.”

“I looked at my watch, which In reading his full essay, it begoes very well, and found that it comes apparent his suggestion of was but six o’clock; and still thinkadding daylight to the clock was ing it something extraordinary that a swipe at the French, of whom

HEALTH

Franklin had a well-known love-hate relationship.

Flash-forward to 1918, as the U.S. was involved with what became known as World War One, Daylight Savings Time was formally adopted under the belief that people tend be more active in the evenings, so the extra daylight there would mean fewer hours where people lit their houses at night.

After the war, farmers lobbied successfully to get the wartime measure repealed, yet with a new war breaking our just a few decades later, the dreaded DST was reintroduced in 1942 during World War Two. Things muddled around a bit—some states adopted it, while others did not—until 1966 when the federal government formally reintroduced the concept nationwide, with the exception of Arizona and Hawaii. To make matters worse, in 2007, Congress passed a law that extended DST by a full month, ironically making “Standard” Time in effect in fewer months than “Savings” time.

The argument in favor of the time change is that it “saves energy”. And while this may have been true decades ago (something that has never been statistically proven), it is most certainly not true today. Most current research shows no energy savings whatsoever between the two time periods. In fact, a 2008 study published in The National Bureau of Economic Research showed that DST actually increases residential electricity demand.

And then comes the human cost. No less an authority than the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has published numerous studies that show that insufficient sleep has become a major health problem for Ameri-

cans—and DST increases the problem.

Nearly 60 percent of workers feel the effects of lost sleep on the Monday after DST, and almost three-quarters of those over 30 say the lost sleep affects their productivity.

To make matters worse, a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology has found a direct correlation between the time change and a rise in workplace injuries. Add in statistical increases in traffic accidents in the week following our “spring forward”, and you have a sleep-deprived recipe for disaster.

So why do we still do this?

Again, a very good question. The facts speak for themselves, but before anything can be done, we have to get our political leaders involved. Maybe someone will finally cut through the Washington gridlock and restore sanity to our clocks.

“Nearly 60 percent of workers feel the effects of lost sleep on the Monday after DST, and almost three-quarters of those over 30 say the lost sleep effects their productivity.”

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The List

EdiToon

Celebrating St. Patrick's Day

by Rob Rogers

This Thursday is St. Patrick's Day, and with the holiday comes a whole mess of parties, concerts, events and more.

For one day a year, it seems everyone wants to be Irish, or at least sample some classic (and not-so-classic) Irish food and beverages.

Showing That Chattanooga Really CARES This Saturday, Chattanooga CARES’ largest fundraiser, Strides of March, will be having an AIDS Walk and Fun Run to help raise awareness for HIV/AIDS. CARES supports over 600 HIV positive clients in the Chattanooga area and provides awareness, education, prevention, and testing for more than 20,000 people in the southeast annually. They are passionate about helping those who have been diagnosed and educating those who may not know about those who have been affected, or the disease itself.

They have a primary care center, client services, and a prevention education

department, which includes a variety of testing services. Their focus remains on creating an environment of empowerment, unity, safety, and compassion.

CARES is hosting the Walk and Fun Run in order to support those living with or affected by AIDS. The event will take place

IN THIS ISSUE

RayTerry This week's cover story on the labor union movement is

by RayTerry, a world-traveler, and freelance writer. He is is a Delegate in the Chattanooga Area Labor Council of the Tennessee AFL-CIO and member of the Tri State Musicians’ Union, Local 80

at Renaissance Park. Check in and activities will begin at noon and the Fun Run will kick off around 1:15 p.m., with the AIDS Walk starting at 2 p.m. Come with family and friends for a little fresh air and exercise and support the members of Chattanooga CARES. Interested? You can register online at my.chattanoogacares.org for the walk and Fun Run. The walk is free, the Fun Run is $25, and donations are always welcome.

When registering, there is also an option to create a personal account to raise money for the event. CARES hopes to see you there.

— Rebekah Jones

Marc T. Michael of the American Federation of Musicians (AFM) and a former General SecretaryTreasurer of the Brotherhood of Railroad Signalmen with nearly 40 years membership.

A resident of Collegedale, he was born in Chattanooga at Memorial Hospital. Married with four children who now all live in four different states, he is a market tagalong with his wife Sheila who regularly patronizes local markets around Chattanooga.

The Pulse's music editor, Marc T. Michael, is a longstanding presence in the local music scene who from an early age had two passions in life: music and writing. Noticeably self-taught at one and educated at the University of Kentucky for the other, Marc

moved to Chattanooga back in the fall of 1993. When not playing with local Irish group the Molly Maguires, Marc can be found hosting trivia matches throughout the city as the regional manager for Challenge Entertainment. An avid supporter of Chattanooga’s burgeoning music scene, he currently resides in Red Bank with his wife Bryanna, his daughter Libby and two cats who, truth be told, are actually in charge of everything.

Out of curiosity, we asked our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute for some facts and figures about the day and about the Irish in America..

• 46% of adults plan on celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. • 20% plan on having a drink to celebrate.

• 7.2% plan on going to a St. Patrick's Day party.

• 9.6% plan to decorate their home or office.

• Odds of a child being named Patrick: 0.1% • U.S. Residents claiming Irish Ancestry: 36,900,000 • Number of Irish immigrants who traveled to the U.S. between 1820 and 1930: 4,500,000 • Number of places in U.S. named Shamrock: 4 • Number of places in U.S. that share the name of Irish Capital, Dublin: 9 • Number of editors with The Pulse who graduated from Shamrock High School in Decatur, GA: 1 Sadly, Shamrock High School closed its doors years ago, but the reunions are still quite fun.

Erin go bragh!

Source: statisticbrain.com/st-patricksday-statistics/

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COVER STORY

Who Stands With The Workers?

Is there still a place for the labor movement in Chattanooga?

The Pulse contributor RayTerry looks at the past, present and future of unions here and around the country

I

n an increasingly divided political country, one of the most contentious issues facing American businesses and workers today is the right to organize. The question facing many union supporters is whether the labor movement is still viable, and whether there is a future for unions, both nationwide and right here at home.

It all started when oppressed people realized that they needed a unified voice in the workplace for the pursuit of their common interests. Workers rights became the calling cry against many overbearing types of employers.

Originally, such noble beginnings were comprised of craft and trade workers joining together in what is known as a system of collective bargaining. Leaders were elected and employees were united in a combined effort to bring about change in areas such as: fair wages, decent working conditions, and health care/insurance coverage.

Today, many of these “common benefits” that people take for granted are the direct result of efforts by union negotiators. They have spilled over into what is now considered the norm and enjoyed by several millions of non-union workers every day. Unions are, and remain, organizations by, about, and for their members.

In the past, several labor accomplishments for working families have been made. But in today’s global market, unions are viciously attacked by government, politicians, and as always, many employers.

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style of management. This only serves to perpetuate a hostile work environment for everybody involved and the goal of mutual compromise is often times obscured with contention.

My personal experience with union forces began in 1978, when I became a member of the Brotherhood of Railroad Signalmen (BRS). Eureka! A real job—with benefits!

Suddenly, I no longer worked for minimum wage (or less), I had health insurance, dental, vision, regular check-ups, hospitalization, sick benefits, an employee pass to ride on an AMTRAK passenger train, etc. With that, a life-long vested retirement account (after 10 years of service) with the Railroad Retirement Board, stocks, and bond incentives. For every single share of stock purchased, the railroad company would match it! Wow, what a deal!! A real job that actually paid more than I had could ever have imagined.

Toys were bought: cars, motorcycles, all at break neck speed. The big one, though, was the purchase of my own home (which by the way was paid for in just a few years).

The proverbial American Dream had come true for me and it was wonderful! Life was good. I had the railroad company to thank

for all of this quickly gained prosperity, right?

Well, not exactly.

I was thankful to the railroad company for hiring me and giving me the job, but the amazing benefits package was primarily due to the efforts of the union, the BRS. You see these great benefits were the result of years and often times grueling contract negotiations with railroad management.

Alarmingly, the other workers who had come before me had paid for all of these wonderful benefits with their blood!

The railroad companies, like other companies, do not just offer these valuable perks out of the goodness of their hearts. Determined union negotiators fought for all it. Contracts are usually agreed upon for three or four-year intervals. After expiration, the negotiations start all over again with lots of back-and-forth positioning by management and the unions. Ideally, compromise is the goal. In today’s bleak economy though, some management, from all manner of professions, take advantage of this depressed market and will balk at an expedient agreement. This is called ‘dealing in bad faith.’ Unfortunately, and all too often, time is on their side and they can afford to stall. Working families cannot.

My career as a union officer started while working on the Georgia Division of the railroad and later led to my appointment as Chattanooga’s local chairman. While serving this time on the Tennessee Division, another opportunity arose. The new General Chairman asked me to be the General Secretary-Treasurer of the Committee—a move above the local level with more responsibility. I accepted and was elected.

The BRS makes great efforts to educate all of its representatives by offering several training seminars located all over the country. A vast array of subject matters pertaining to a union officer’s duties is provided. Topics include: claims and grievance procedures, member’s benefits, Labor laws, federally mandated rules and regulations, etc.

The job experience was really beginning to grow, and show in my career. Members were calling to discuss any potentially amicable solutions to their disciplinary cases involving the company. Actually, the job is a pseudolawyer’s position in nature. Intervention with Federal Employers Liability Act (FELA) lawyers was ever constant and lawyer’s ways and practices were attained.

Like the BRS, one large union presence in Chattanooga is the In-

ternational Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) Local 175. Located on Volunteer Drive just off of Bonny Oaks, they’re building a union hall that will be host to several other organizations. Combined they make up the Central Area Labor Council (CALC), which is affiliated with the Tennessee American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations (AFL-CIO) in Nashville, TN. The AFL-CIO is the largest federation of unions in the USA representing over 12 million active and retired workers. The AFL-CIO is the one of the biggest spenders and most politically active mega-union organizations in the country. Most international unions in the country are members of this large organization.

Thankfully, in Chattanooga we have a labor friendly mayoral administration. Mayor Andy Berke has been a consistent pro-advocate of labor and working families throughout his career. As you know, Chattanooga has been a national model of prosperity in all areas of social and domestic growth.

We are very fortunate to have leaders like Mayor Andy Berke and his staff who continually promote and elevate Chattanooga in the national fore front as a city constantly growing with vision, prosperity, and hope for all.

When it comes to politics, unions

“

Many of these common benefits that people take for granted are the direct result of efforts by union negotiators.

They have spilled over into what is now considered the norm and enjoyed by several millions of nonunion workers every day.”

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COVER STORY are a political football that gets regularly kicked, bounced, and thrown around. Government regulations are absolutely stifling in their so-called oversight of union operations and activities. One particular establishment party has been consistently hostile toward labor over the years while another party tends to be more amicable, but sometimes also tends to take labor organizations for granted.

As mentioned earlier, politicians like to make big promises to get elected. Once in office, labor groups are very diligent in watching a politician’s voting record on working family’s issues. Political Action Committee (PAC’s) contributions are directly determined and tied to such a politicians vote for, or against, labor. Candidates, beware.

Over the past few years, union membership has dwindled. Many contributing factors such as a poor economy, government intrusion, political interference, etc., have taken their toll against reducing the overall numbers of union members.

In this day and age of right-to-work states, the unions and private workers’ rights are being eroded dramatically.

Corporations pay their CEO’s millions and then, when it comes to

negotiations at the bargaining table, they can often times be stingy and arrogant in addressing fair compensation for their employees. Outsourcing of jobs and manufacturing oversees cuts domestic workers pay and benefits and makes for a less safe environment.

In recent years, it seems to be the growing trend. The loss of jobs in this country is obvious no matter how one tries to spin the statistics.

Businesses are closing everywhere.

In this wounded atmosphere, China desperately tries to undercut the US labor field by offering cheap labor and manipulating their currency. The long term effects seem to be gaining momentum especially since China’s economy is now bigger than that of the US’s. Was labor to blame for this downturn on the global market? Not as much as other factors involved, and yet, labor receives a large undeserved amount of the criticism for such.

Unfair trade laws and corporate outsourcing are the larger factors.

The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), Trade Promotion Authority (TPA), and the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) are all big examples of such anti-union measures.

Many have bad feeling toward

labor while some see an advantage in membership. More than likely, if you were raised with parents who owned a business, you probably would be anti-union. On the other hand, if you were raised with a family that had to work several jobs just to make ends meet, the labor union could be an attractive advantage in your life.

Like in all things, people and money make the difference. Opinions on union affiliation vary greatly and personal circumstances usually triumph in the prevailing wisdom of a choice in such matters.

Personally, my experience has been a very good one with long time union association. Having never attended college (or having a desire too) unionism has been a huge positive experience in my life.

With nearly 40 years with the BRS (currently as a pensioned member) and now the Secretary-Treasurer of Local 80 AFM, unionism is a way of life for me. It has been, and still is, a very good one.

My closing statement to AFM members in newsletters and other correspondence is usually the basic principle of unionism that always rings true: United we stand, divided we fall.

This is what makes a union strong!

“

Corporations pay their CEO’s millions and then, when it comes to negotiations at the bargaining table, they can often times be stingy and arrogant in addressing fair compensation for their employees.”

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SCREEN SCENE

Whither The Witch ‘O The Woods The Witch is a compelling allegory of modern fears of survival

Parting The Waters On Screen The Ten Commandments celebrates 60 epic years Arguably one of the greatest epic films of all time, Cecil B. DeMille's Biblical classic The Ten Commandments celebrates its 60th anniversary with a special screening this Sunday, and again on Wednesday.

For sheer pageantry and spectacle, few motion pictures can claim to equal the splendor the 1956 epic.

Filmed in Egypt and the Sinai with one of the biggest sets ever constructed for a motion picture, the film tells the story of the life of Moses (Charlton Heston), once favored in the Pharaoh's (Yul Brynner) household, who turned his back on

✴✴✴✴

a privileged life to lead his people to freedom.

This beloved classic will be accompanied by special commentary from TCM hosts Robert Osborne or Ben Mankiewicz, who will provide insight, background and more, making this film come alive.

The Ten Commandments Sunday, 2 p.m.

Wednesday, 7 p.m.

Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com

NEW IN THEATERS

The Divergent Series: Allegiant After the earth-shattering revelations of Insurgent, Tris must escape with Four beyond the wall that encircles Chicago to finally discover the shocking truth of what lies behind it.

Director: Robert Schwentke Stars: Shailene Woodley, Naomi Watts, Theo James, Zoë Kravitz

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Miracles from Heaven Based on a true story, a young girl suffering from a rare digestive disorder finds herself miraculously cured after surviving a terrible accident.

Director: Patricia Riggen Stars: Jennifer Garner, Brighton Sharbino, Martin Henderson, Queen Latifah

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I

T IS EASY TO SEE HOW RELIGIOUS BELIEF IS A NECESsity to developing societies. Even in today’s world, where stability and long life are the norms rather than the exceptions, there is more than enough chaos and evil to strike fear in the hearts of men and send them fleeing into the loving embrace of one deity or another, hoping to find comfort, mercy, and eternal life.

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

The film transcends the genre, much like Psycho in 1960 or The Exorcist in 1973, because they were about more than just the horror itself—they were about the people that experienced it.”

Imagine then, the darkness of the wilderness and the desperation of the marginally civilized when confronted with forces they do not understand and have no hope of explaining.

A crop failure may be simply a mistake in rotations, a missing child may be the work of a lone predator, a sickness may be an unfortunate circumstance, but taken together, these turns of fate appear to take a dark shape.

Humans have evolved to recognize patterns; fear trumps logic when explanations are scarce. Were this the only theme of 2015’s The Witch, a Sundance horror film that has finally gained enough traction for a wide release, it would be a powerful discussion of the development of the dogmatic hysteria that plagued early American settlements.

But then, it wouldn’t quite be a horror film as much as a dark, Crucible-inspired drama. Lucky for us, there really is a witch in the woods. The questions the film poses are far more interesting, however.

The film begins with the excommunication of a family from the relative safety of an early Puritan plantation. It is clear that these religious refugees have not been long on the shores of the Atlantic.

William (Ralph Ineson) considers himself above his brethren, seeking the simplicity of a barren landscape to worship his God without pretense and idolatry.

He spits derision at the council that is casting him out, refusing to abide their heathen need for candlesticks and gold. He leaves with his wife and five children to the edge of the wilderness, and after some months, has carved out a farm before a vast dark wood.

As with many stories, the woods hold great evils and mystery. The children are forbidden to enter and the adults are wary of the growing shadows. But when their youngest child vanishes and the crops begin to fail, William is forced to lay traps for food, opening the family up further to unseen forces that run counter to their devout belief in God. The Witch is exceptionally detailed and crafted. It is far more devoted to the setting than many films in the horror genre. The language is period accurate in ways that some viewers may find difficult to follow—the words flow in through an older, John Winthrop-inspired tongue. Those who see the film on DVD may be grateful for the captions. Like last year’s The Revenant, the film relies on natural light, with candles and lanterns lighting the faces at night, casting shadows to set the mood.

In many ways, the film transcends the genre, much like Psycho in 1960 or The Exorcist in 1973, because they were about more than just the horror itself—they were about the people

that experienced it. The audience experiences terror alongside the characters, allowing bonds to be created through empathy and tearing those bonds asunder in order to maximize the effect of loss.

It is this dedication to character that causes the film to develop through a slow burn, rather than a collection of rollercoaster-like jump scares. Audiences more familiar with what has become the traditional horror film might take issue with the pacing of the film—it is in no way boring, however.

The Witch just needs an audience willing to invest in the story.

The biggest question of the film, however, is whether the outcome would have been any different had there not have been a supernatural protagonist. The seeds of hysteria were already sown due to a fanatical interpretation of an angry and unmerciful God. Death was waiting for this family from the moment they left the plantation.

These characters are fictional interpretations of our ancestors, who struck out on their own to escape the persecution they felt in their native lands in order to bring the same persecution to a new one. They discovered that survival required cooperation.

The Witch might just be an indictment of the very American desire for autonomy. If we stray too far into the woods, we’re unlikely to return.

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COLUMN JUST A THEORY

Communication Breakdown Humans aren’t the only ones who “talk” to each other Here in America, it’s election time again. If you think about it, elections are all about communication and the process of STEVEN W. getting your DISBROW message across to as many people as possible. Whether or not people respond positively to that message is another story.

While watching a recent debate, which included language and posturing that might normally be reserved for closing time at your local bar, I was struck by how similar we still are to the animals we pretend not to be related to. While we like to believe we’re the only species that “talks”, other animals actually have pretty complex communication systems of their own. So, let’s look at some.

I’d wager that the non-human communication system you are most familiar with is “Bird Song”. Every species of bird seems to have its own songbook and those songs change from season to season (though roosters seem to have just that one song they play over and over, like a one-hit wonder band at Riverbend). Beyond song, some species of birds also use dance and plumage displays to communicate with potential mates or to appear bigger to scare away predators.

Another species that communicates very effectively are ants. But ant communication is very strange compared to human communication. While ants do use sounds and touch to a small de-

“While we like to believe we’re the only species that ‘talks’, other animals actually have pretty complex communication systems of their own.” gree, their main method of communication is via smell. You might already know that ants use pheromones to lay down trails that lead to food, but they use them for other tasks too. A crushed ant for example, will give off a warning pheromone that tells other members of the colony to beware. There’s even a pheromone that Queens produce that tell her workers that she’s still capable of being Queen. When she stops producing it, the workers know it’s time to start raising new Queens.

While there is evidence that bees also use smells for some aspects of communication, their main language is the “waggle” dance, so called because they “waggle” their abdomens during this dance. When a bee finds a new source of food, they will communicate the location to their hive mates via the dance. Scientists since Aristotle have been studying bee’s dance language, and have determined that the moves in the dance give directions to food relative to the position of the Sun to the hive. (Yes. The bees are doing geometry!)

Moving from the land to the sea, I’d

Photo by Monique Stowasser

guess that we’re all familiar with the basics of how dolphins communicate: Clicks and whistles. The clicks are used for echo-location of prey and obstacles in the water, while the whistles seem to be for conveying short bursts of information. In fact, every dolphin has its own unique “signature whistle”, which for lack of a better analogy is that dolphin’s name. A lot of research has been done over the years on human to dolphin communication but, so far, no breakthrough has been made that lets us really communicate with them.

Dolphins are great and all, but, what about lobsters? How do lobsters communicate? Well, like a lot of creatures, lobsters use scents and smells to communicate.

Well, that’s it for this month…oh.

You want to know how lobsters use smells to communicate?

Ah. Well, you see, they have, um,

urine bladders. On their heads. Yes. And, when they want to “speak” to each other, they will…discharge…long streams (between one and two meters) of urine at each other’s faces.

For example, when a female is interested in mating with a male, she will literally pee in his face. He will “smell” that it’s a female peeing on him and become less aggressive. This is good, because, as a rule, lobsters are jerks. Properly aroused, the lobster’s magic happens.

Male lobsters will also pee on each other as they try to establish dominance and…oh, wow. I really hope Donald Trump doesn’t read this column.

Steven Disbrow is a computer programmer who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development, an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor, sometime television personality and parent of two human children.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS SCENE

Inside One Of History's Forgotten Nightmares

Let The Words Move You Barking Legs hosts spoken word & dance performance On Saturday at 8 p.m., Barking Legs Theatre will be hosting an evening of dance and spoken word which will delve into the important global topics of social justice, personal power, and freedom.

Contemporary Performing Arts of Chattanooga (COPAC) is the nonprofit organization in support of performing artists in the Southeast and they are partnering with Amanda Cantrell Roche and the Blue Moves Dance Co. Roche is a teaching artist, guiding others in art, dance, and written word. She is also an activist and volunteers for other programs such as Poverty & The Arts and Nashville CARES. Her passions are dance, writing, and social justice, and her biggest passion is combining the three.

With the help of COPAC, Barking Legs, and Blue Moves Dance Co., she is doing just that. The night

will be filled with powerful, elegant dance and spoken word by local Chattanoogan artists. The dance is a four-part movement and the night will conclude with an informative panel of social justice organizations such as Chattanooga Organized for Action and Concerned Citizens for Justice.

The most powerful part of this performance is each person in the audience is treated as a part of the community, not just a viewer. The goal of this night is to show the compassion and good nature each individual possesses and what the goodness we hold can give to the world around us.

Roche and the rest of the Blue Movies Dance Co. want you to join the community and the discussion.

Visit barkinglegs.org or call (423) 624-5347 for more information.

— Rebekah Jones

THU3.17

FRI3.18

SAT3.19

DARMK COMEDY

ADULT HUMOR

SHAKE IT OUT

Sordid Lives

April Macie

Chattanooga Raqs!

Bellydance Show

The final weekend for the dark comedy classic of theatrical mayhem.

7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecenter.com

An irreverent brand of humor to break down troubling double-standards.

7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Come see some of the city's finest dancers.

8 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 987-1067 alexandria1.com

14 • THE PULSE • MARCH 17, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Franklin and Fennelly dive into the raging world of the Flood of '27

U

NSPEAKABLE MURDERS. A MARRIAGE GONE FLAT. Illegal rotgut whiskey. Two infernal revenuers, one with a heart of gold. A lost baby, orphaned and bereft in the coming storm.

Arts WARD RAYMOND

“

A desperate search for the imperiled infant coincides with the survival struggle of the eclectic citizens of Hobson, a fictional Mississippi Delta town.”

Working with those story elements, Tom Franklin and Beth Ann Fennelly could have written a pretty good yarn in which most readers would find something to like: romance, danger, heartbreak, corruption, unrequited longing, unexpected tenderness. Instead, the two authors unleashed a raging deluge in The Tilted World, set amidst the devastation of the Mississippi River flood of 1927—a near-forgotten historical nightmare comparable to Hurricane Katrina.

The husband-wife team—both on the creative writing faculty of University of Mississippi, Oxford—drift into Chattanooga next Tuesday for events sponsored by the Southern Lit Alliance.

Franklin is the author of four previous novels, while Fennelly has written three award-winning volumes of poetry, numerous nonfiction articles, and a unique volume titled Great with Child: Letters to a Young Mother, based on Fennelly’s correspondence with a former student.

In this first-time joint effort with her husband, Fennelly says she “found myself writing about motherhood again, this time in fiction.” For all its swashbuckling adventure, deceit, and criminality, the story’s heartbeat resonates around the innocent baby, rescued by the revenue agent Ingersoll and adopted by the protagonist Dixie Clay, whose moonshiner husband is a dashing scalawag.

The authors set various clocks running, as in most fine plot-driven novels, and a

Tom Franklin and Beth Ann Fennelly.

Photo: Andy Anderson

desperate search for the imperiled infant coincides with the survival struggle of the eclectic citizens of Hobson, a fictional Mississippi Delta town. The historical details of the flood ring true and stark. The story is a torrent of narrative with many parts in motion all at once, but the high-water mark comes when Ingersoll and Dixie Clay find common purpose and commitment in a world gone crazy-tilted off its axis.

To Fennelly, the book’s title conveys “not only the unsettling, destructive nature of the flood, but also the unsettling nature of love—both events have the power to alter lives.”

Speaking of life-changing love, the mother-and-child scenes evoke the smell of a newborn’s scalp, the skinto-skin contact, the constant awareness of a baby’s fragile hold on life. “Dixie Clay has lost her own child to fever a few years back and hasn’t been able to conceive again,” Fennelly explain.

“And into this desperate life comes an orphan for her to love. Again my writing life and my life aligned, as I wasn’t steering my gaze but following its natural direction.”

By “alignment,” Fennelly refers to a romantic trip with her husband to the south of France, which resulted in “the delight of my old age—sweet baby Nolan—who re-immersed us into the joys of the hands-on, every minute parenting of an infant,” just in time for the co-writing of The Tilted World. “I never imagined I’d be breastfeeding at my fortieth birthday party, that’s for sure.”

Daily rhythms of infant care informed and inspired her writing. “The physical rituals of feeding and bathing and diapering Nolan synced me with

Dixie Clay’s bodily rhythms,” Fennelly says. “Things from my history of motherhood—the miscarriage of our first pregnancy, and later, a terrifying night of high fever in our infant daughter— seemed to rise in my recollection and, though alchemized to suit the novel’s own urgencies, find their place.

“Mothers, I think, are hungry to see motherhood portrayed accurately in books. I know I am,” she says. “I wanted our novel’s baby to seem like a real baby, the mother a real mother.”

The twosome are often asked: How can married authors write a book together? Although the more experienced novelist, Franklin gives credit to his wife for pushing the collaboration to completion. “She wrote most of that book,” he says. “Although we sold it together, I had the original idea and roped her into the project. We began to divide up the work: I would do the Ingersoll parts; she would do Dixie Clay.

But then she would have all her work done; I’m more of a binge writer, I’ll wait till the last minute, and in a panic I’ll get something out.

“So then we worked together on my part of the book—like dueling laptops, composing aloud to each other—unlike most writing, which is an intimate act by yourself, for the most part. I don’t think it would have worked with any other writer.”

•••• Southern Lit Alliance “SouthBound” event with Franklin and Fennelly, Tuesday at The Arts Building, 301 E. 11th St. VIP reception, 5:45 p.m.; general admission and seating, 6 p.m.; reading and authors session, 7:30 p.m.

Details at southernlitalliance.org CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS CALENDAR

Semi-Annual Book Sale

THURSDAY3.17 Semi-Annual Book Sale 9 a.m.

Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (424) 341-3625 folchatt.org The Deadly Companions 1, 2, & 7 p.m.

Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (865) 855-9474 chattanooga.gov Ooltewah Farmers Market 2 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Theaterquest 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Be Seen in Green: The Wiz Watch Party!

6 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org From My Perspective: An Art Exhibition Featuring Artists with Special Needs 6 p.m.

Trousdale School 3171 Hewitt St. SE (423) 479-7130 trousdaleschool.org Photographic Society of Chattanooga Presents Tom Vadnais

16 • THE PULSE • MARCH 17, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

7 p.m.

St. John United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Rd. (423) 894-5210 chattanoogaphoto.org Sordid Lives 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecenter.com The King and I 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Christian School 3354 Charger Dr. ccsk12.com Chattanooga Symphony: Pulcinella 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org April Macie 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

FRIDAY3.18 Semi-Annual Book Sale 9 a.m.

Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (424) 341-3625 folchatt.org getyourmbd.com The King and I 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Christian School

3354 Charger Dr. ccsk12.com April Macie 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Alice in Wonderland 7:30 p.m.

The Colonnade Center 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000 backalleyproductions.org Sordid Lives 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecenter.com

SATURDAY3.19 Rump Run 5K and Fun Walk 7:30 a.m.

Enterprise South Nature Park 8015 Volkswagen Dr. (423) 757-0717 rumprun.com Raccoon Mountain Marathon, Half Marathon, and Relay 7:30 a.m.

Raccoon Mountain runchattanooga.org St. Albans Hixson Market 8:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Church 7514 Hixson Pike stalbansepiscopal.net Tails on the Trails 8:30 a.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd.

(423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Shamrock City Irish Festival 8:30 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com CW Blevins Avian Jewels Egg Replica Collection 9 a.m.

Audubon Acres Wildlife Sanctuary 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 892-3690 chattanoogaaudubon.org Semi-Annual Book Sale 9 a.m.

Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (424) 341-3625 folchatt.org Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 658-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Chattanooga Lookouts Annual FanFest 10 a.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 milb.com Free Yoga 10 a.m Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 658-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Ready to Garden Workshop Series 10 a.m.

Crabtree Farms of Chattanooga 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Green Eggs and Smokin’ Hams 10:30 a.m.

McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org Space Oddity Art Car Build with Art120 Noon Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 art120.org Midlife Experiences Book Signing and Review 1 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org The King and I 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Christian School 3354 Charger Dr. ccsk12.com April Macie 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Alice in Wonderland 7:30 p.m.

The Colonnade Center 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000 backalleyproductions.org Sordid Lives 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center

400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecenter.com Illuminated Beings: An Evening of Social Justice Dances 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theatre 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Raise the Curtain 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Dance Theatre 5151 Austin Rd., Suite A (423) 760-8808 tennesseedance.org Chattanooga Raqs!

Bellydance Show 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 987-1067 alexandria1.com

SUNDAY3.20 Shamrock City Irish Festival 8:30 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Semi-Annual Book Sale: ½ Price Day Noon Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (424) 341-3625 folchatt.org Strides of March AIDS Walk & Fun Run 1:15 p.m.

Renaissance Park 1 River St. chattanoogacares.org The Ten Commandments 2 p.m.

Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com/events Sordid Lives 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecenter.com April Macie 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com CSO Spring Concert 7:30 p.m.

Roland Hayes Auditorium 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4371 utc.edu/fine-arts-center

MONDAY3.21 Semi-Annual Book Sale- BAG Day 9 a.m.

Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (424) 341-3625 folchatt.org Lookout Farmers Market 3:30 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist Church 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804

ARTS CALENDAR

Ready to Garden Workshop

lookoutfarmersmarket.com The Backlot-A Place for Filmmakers #38 6:30 p.m.

Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474

TUESDAY3.22 SoLit South Bound Lectures with Tom Franklin & Beth Ann Fennelly 6 p.m.

Arts Building 301 E. 11th St. (423) 267-1218 southernlitalliance.org Take Five 2016: Multi-Ethnic American Literature UTC University Center 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 425-4627 utc.edu

WEDNESDAY3.23 Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com The Ten Commandments 2 p.m.

Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com/events Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 17

18 • THE PULSE • MARCH 17, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

FOOD & DRINK MIXOLOGY

Time For SBB: Spring Break Beers Tips on warm weather beers for spring break or any warm day “In order for a beer to match elements of spring it must be nice, light, crisp and maybe it will give you an extra spritz of energy for another swim.”

Spring break is on its way—if you’re a UTC student it’s already here—and whether you’re staying in Chattanooga or traveling to Destin, Florida there should be a refreshment that sets the mood for those crisps shorelines and striking sunrays. Prop up a beach chair and take a sip of these refreshing and light spring beers.

In my exploration of warm weather beers, I was guided by none other than the Purveyor of Hoppiness, Beer Manager Wolfgang Schmitz from The Flying Squirrel. First and foremost, according to Schmitz, in order for a beer to match

elements of spring it must be nice, light, crisp and maybe it will give you an extra spritz of energy for another swim.

You don’t want to be weighed down by brewing styles such as Stouts and Marzens. These will hug your stomach and send you for a nap. Sure they’re great with a late snack and a football game, but not so great when you’re planning for a beach trip. This spring break, try a Pale Ale, Witbier, or Shandy beer for a light warm weather experience.

Pale Ale beers are made from warm fermentation with pale malts. The lighter the beer, the paler the malts

included. They have a low ABW (Alcohol by Weight) but they are hoppy (also known as the International Bitterness Units scale and arrangement of others flavors) enough to “stimulate the senses and help cool you down on those blazing hot days” as Schmitz notes. A prime example of an American Pale Ale comes out of Chattanooga Brewing Company.

3 Star Pale Ale is low in bitterness and has a piney and earthy aroma with an ABW of 4.9 percent.

Witbier is a Belgian style warm weather beer. They are pale and hazy in color but contain a crisp summery taste that is perfect for spring break. “They’re unfiltered which gives them the hazy color with the use of wheat and are high in carbonation to give them a bit of a pop,”

says Schmitz. “You’ll often times, if not always, find notes of coriander and orange present in these.”

Brewed right out of Japan, Kiuchi Hitachino Nest White Ale is a perfect example of a Witbier and it can be found at many local stores. Its flavors consist of coriander, orange peel, and nutmeg.

Lastly, Shandy beers are mixed with carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, apple juice or orange juice.

“The proportions of the two ingredients are adjusted to taste, usually halfand-half,” Schmitz explains. “There are non-alcoholic versions of these but, what’s the point, am I right?”

Schmitz couldn’t be more right considering apple juice isn’t the first drink spring breakers go for. Schmitz suggests the Stiegl-Radler Grapefruit, which is a mix of 40 percent Stiegl-Goldbräu, a full beer, and 60 percent fruit soda.

The grapefruit juice gives it a naturally cloudy appearance and a tangy flavor to enhance your spring break.

These are just a few warm weather beers for a perfect warm weather spring break spent at The Flying Squirrel, your favorite local watering hole, or at the beach. Come explore and find the right one for you.

— Ja’Lisa Little

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 19

MUSIC SCENE

The Girls Just Wanna Rock

Girls Rock Camp is coming to town, and local organizers need your help

A

Hank & Cupcakes

Celebrate St. Paddy’s (Park)Way Downtown's Patten Parkway goes Irish this Saturday Continue your St. Patrick’s celebrations with live music and more this Saturday, as the folks at The Honest Pint take over Patten Parkway for their annual St. Paddy’s Party on the Parkway.

St. Paddy’s is rolling in the green with their family-friendly event, which will cover the entire Patten Parkway area in addition to outdoor and indoor performances, food and beer vendors, and a kid zone with crafts and games. St. Paddy’s gets even hotter with various fire and dance performances by the Chattanooga Fire Cabaret.

And don’t worry about parking: shuttles will be moving between the North Shore, Downtown, and the Southside, providing transportation for the night. Profits from gate ticket sales will be donated to SoundCrops, Chattanooga’s nonprofit art and en-

tertainment committee.

Headlining the music is Chattanooga favorite Hank & Cupcakes, along with a wide variety of local and regional bands including Slim Pickins, Citico String Band, Kercheif, Superbody, OneTimers, Behold the Brave, Alex Volz, and Morning Teleportation.

And, of course, no St. Paddy’s party would be complete without The Molly Maguires, who bring “all the Irish music you can drink”. The event kicks off at 4 p.m. and continues throughout the day and evening.

— Ja'Lisa Little St. Paddy’s Party on the Parkway Saturday, 4 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

THU3.17

FRI3.18

SAT3.19

ERIN GO BRAGH

KEEP ON PARTYING

FRENCH SOUL

St. Patty’s Day with The Power Players

St. Patty’s Hangover Cure

Irenka*

Celebrate the Irish with a Southside bacchanalia.

9 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

Decibella & Charge The Atlantic for the day after.

9:30 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

A self-made modern gypsy, singing her adventures across the country.

10 p.m.

The Office 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

20 • THE PULSE • MARCH 17, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

H, SPRING, WHEN A VINYL COLLECTOR’S FANCY lightly turns to thoughts of Record Store Day. Saturday, April 16th is Record Store Day, and while it might seem odd to bring it up a month out, there is a purpose here. Local record store owner Amy Mayfield, whose dedication to grass-roots philanthropy has often raised the question of “when is she going to become a full-fledged community organizer?” is sponsoring a very special fund-raising event for Chattanooga’s first ever Girls Rock Camp and needs the support of local artists now to make it happen.

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

[Amy] Mayfield is seeking local artists who are willing to donate their efforts towards painting unplayable records.

The Girls Rock Camp phenomenon is global and although each camp is autonomous, the GRC Alliance is a network that connects the various camps through yearly seminars and resource-sharing.

The basic philosophy of the camps is the empowerment of girls though music.

Girls aged nine to seventeen have the opportunity to spend a week at the summer day camp where they select the instrument of their choice and receive instruction in playing and songwriting, form bands, and ultimately cap-off the week with live performances of their original material.

Through their experience with music, girls are given an opportunity to develop confidence, creativity, and a host of valuable tools that ultimately serve to free them from the limitations imposed by sexism, crass commercialism, and the media. Amelia Rodgers-Jones, Rose Cox, and Kristen Ryan, along with a host of volunteers throughout the community, are organizing the Chattanooga iteration of Girls Rock Camp with a special emphasis on accessibility.

To that end they are pricing the camp on a sliding-scale so that girls from all walks of life and economic backgrounds have the opportunity to benefit from the experience. Doing that requires fund-

ing, and that’s where Mayfield and AKNF come in to play.

Mayfield is seeking local artists who are willing to donate their efforts towards painting unplayable records. The repurposed works of art will then be available for sale on Record Store Day at Mayfield’s AKNF shop (located in Coolidge Park) with 100 percent of the proceeds going to fund Chattanooga Girls Rock Camp.

Traditionally, Record Store Day is marked by independent shops selling limited edition releases pressed specifically for the day, a novel means of generating revenue for the store, but AKNF is foregoing that tradition and focusing on the art show instead because, as Mayfield explains, “As a woman who loves music, I feel compelled to use my music store as a means to help something like this (CGRC) happen in my community.”

As far as artist submissions are concerned, all mediums are welcome. Suitable (unplayable) records are readily available at thrift stores and AKNF is also offering their own damaged LPs to interested parties. All art must be received before April 16th.

Artists interested in contributing to the cause can contact Amy Mayfield at mayfieldrecords@gmail.com (please put ATTN: GIRLS ROCK ART BENEFIT in the subject line.)

Chattanooga Girls Rock Camp will be held July 18-23 at the new CineRama/CFF building on Main St (formerly Grocery Bar) with registration beginning April 1st. For more information on volunteering, donating, or even attending the Chattanooga Girls Rock Camp visit chattanoogagirlsrock.com.

Note that the non-profit is looking for musical AND non-musical volunteers as well as any caterers or restaurants willing to sponsor lunch-for-aday for volunteers and those children who partake in free or reduced-cost lunch programs during the regular school year.

The Green, The Weird, And The Wonderful Thursday is St. Patrick’s Day and for those brave souls willing to venture out on a weeknight, it’s all about options. For those seeking a traditional experience, The Honest Pint is once again hosting “St. Patrick’s Day Proper”. Beginning at 5 p.m., see some of your favorite Celtic acts from the area including Olta, The Red Rogues, The Wolfhounds and the Molly Maguires. The Double Decker Pub Shuttle will be running from 7 to 11 p.m., making your Pub Crawl safe and easy.

If you’re in the mood for something a little more exotic, this Thursday marks the second installment of Rumpus Rising at JJ’s Bohemia. Join master of ceremonies Lazarus Hellgate as he welcomes the Tinderbox Circus Sideshow, Kentucky’s premier group of sideshow performers, along with Memphis based roots-rockers Dead Soldiers and Chattanooga’s own bluegrass fusion act, Iron Fez.

Saturday marks the return of The Honest Pint’s annual, “Paddy’s on the Parkway” celebration. The show runs from 4 p.m. till midnight with an all-ages street party on the Parkway and a 21+ show inside the building.

Performers include Alex Volz, Hank & the Cupcakes, Citico String Band, Behold the Brave, Morning Teleportation, Slim Pickins, The One Timers and more. Tickets are available now for $10 or $15 at the gate.

Finally, JJ’s Bohemia is hosting a benefit Saturday night for Chattanooga Girls Rock, a non-profit organization dedicated to the empowerment of girls through music. That show starts at 10 p.m. and features Polly Panic, The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, and Caney Village with proceeds going to help ensure that Chattanooga Girls Rock is accessible to all girls, regardless of their economic background.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 21

MUSIC CALENDAR THURSDAY3.17 St. Patrick’s Day Proper!

Music, Feasting and Imbibery 5 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m.

Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Mark Kelly Hall & Briana Murphy 6:30 p.m.

Talus North American Cuisine 812 Scenic Hwy. Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com CSO Masterworks: Pulcinella 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Road to Nightfall 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St.

22 • THE PULSE • MARCH 17, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Shinedown granfalloonchatt.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com St. Patty’s Day with The Power Players 9 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Voodoo Slim 9 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

FRIDAY3.18 Gaslight Street 8 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main

PULSE PICK: GALAXY HOTEL The Indie Soul duo out of Dallas, Texas are currently touring the country in custom-built 1986 Ford Econoline van to "connect with as many positive souls and places as possible."

Galaxy Hotel Friday, 9 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. wobusa.com

122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com The Moody Blues 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Shinedown 8 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Road to Nightfall 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchatt.com Priscilla & Lil’ Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Randall Adams 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Wick-It The Instigator 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co Galaxy Hotel 9 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. wobusa.com Drakeford 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com St. Patty’s Hangover Cure with Decibella & Charge The Atlantic 9:30 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Arson 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Day Shawn 11 p.m.

Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SATURDAY3.19 St. Paddy’s Party on the Parkway 4 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

MUSIC CALENDAR

36 CrazyFists thehonestpint.com Road to Nightfall 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchatt.com Chattanooga Girls Rock Benefit with The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Polly Panic, Caney Village 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Barefoot Wonder 8 p.m.

Charles and Myrtles Coffehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Priscilla & Lil’ Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Departure: The Journey Tribute Band 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co RoughWork 9 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. wobusa.com Pam K. Ward Band 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Irenka* 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St.

citycafemenu.com Arson 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Gaslight Street 10 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Day Shawn 11 p.m.

Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SUNDAY3.20 Dana Rogers 11 a.m.

Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Annie Sellick and the Hot Club of Nashville 3 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Symphony Orchestra Spring Concert 7:30 p.m.

Fine Arts Center 615 McCallie Ave. utc.edu/fine-arts-center Silvertounge Devils, Waiting for Eternity, Emerge 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

MONDAY3.21 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchatt.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com R. Ring & Lacing 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

TUESDAY3.22 Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com 36 CrazyFists 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co

WEDNESDAY3.23 The Other Guys 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites

495 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 834-9300 Fowlkes Fest Featuring Toneharm and the Communicators 6:30 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co Courtney Daly Band 7 p.m.

End Zone 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 661-8020 Charlie The Head 7 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org Open Jam 8 p.m.

Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Blues Jam 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Toy Cars & Company to Keep 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 23

RECORD REVIEWS ERNIE PAIK

Instrumental Musings In Stereolab Spirit, Political Anger And Lament Stereolab co-founder returns, Aziza Brahim speaks to the soul of refugees

Cavern of Anti-Matter Void Beats/Invocation Trex (Duophonic)

Aziza Brahim Abbar el Hamada (Glitterbeat)

T

a bad album.

While Stereolab singer and cofounder Lætitia Sadier has pursued a solo career with three albums so far, the other co-founder, guitarist Tim Gane, assembled a Berlin-based (mostly) instrumental trio called Cavern of Anti-Matter with synthesizer player Holger Zapf and Joe Dilworth, who was an early Stereolab member and drummer in Th’ Faith Healers.

The group’s new double-album Void Beats/Invocation Trex is actually its second album, following

his writer wasn’t the only one who was deeply saddened by the news that Stereolab had gone on hiatus in 2009. Thus softly ending a remarkable 20-year run of frequently spotless recordings that used vintage analog synths and reverently lifted tunes, beats, and methods from decades-old sources, like German bands Neu! and Faust, library music, minimalist classical, avant-garde jazz and many more. Perhaps this writer’s affection shows a bias, but he believed that Stereolab never put out

brewer media

the limited edition vinyl doublealbum Blood-Drums (hint: you can stream it for free from the Grautag Records website). Stereolab fans who have been itching for new material will find a lot to love here.

“Tardis Cymbals,” the album’s longest track, begins the album with a rhythmic momentum acting as a cozy yet firm mattress upon which numerous flourishes and motifs lay, channeling a strong mid-’70s Kraftwerk vibe.

Driven by a drum machine beat, “Blowing My Nose Under Close Observation” might be slightly surprising as an outwardly danceoriented track, but “Insect Fear” reveals a strategy familiar for Stereolab aficionados, by hammering and lingering on a two-chord repetition, bolstered by chords on a variety of keyboards that gear heads dream about.

Tim Gane’s clean electric guitar timbre is heard on “Melody in High Feedback Tones,” and a repeated synth vamp and drummomentum on “Hi-Hats Bring the Hiss” evoke a chase sequence in a film.

Deerhunter’s Bradford Cox provides vocals on the tight pop number “Liquid Gate,” with a non-detached delivery that perhaps tries a little too hard to pull off a confident pose, for this writer’s taste.

Although Cavern of Anti-Matter clearly leans toward favoring digital devices, it still can’t escape the legacy of Stereolab, and that might not necessarily be a bad thing.

W

hen Sahrawi singer Aziza Brahim, who was raised in a refugee camp in the Algerian/ Western Saharan frontier after the Moroccan invasion of Western Sahara, was asked about what drives her music, she stated that she could not separate politics, cultural and personal concerns. “So, the focus of my music is all of these areas at the same time,” she said.

The new album from Brahim, who has also lived in Cuba and currently resides in Barcelona, is titled Abbar el Hamada (“Across the Hamada”) which refers to the unforgiving desert landscape peppered with refugee camps, and indeed, it simultaneously merges her three main life concerns.

Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits

everywhere. every day.

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Brahim is not shy about being political, being critical of Morocco’s border fortifications on the track “Los Muros” which could also be applicable to a number of other such disputes around the world, and during the tumultuous times of her life, she went to music for comfort, personal expression and cultural meaning.

Abbar el Hamada is an album with smoldering energy, impelled

by Brahim’s fluid voice, filled with both determination and discontent. The opening track, “Buscando la Paz,” demonstrates her cultural dichotomy, with an electric guitar playing flowing Saharan-style phrases while strums of a Spanish guitar play.

The brief ululations that begin “Calles de Dajla” are among the most emotional moments of the album, which is generally fairly restrained; sometimes the listener might wonder when it might break out into a full-on rock mode, but it never quite happens, with Brahim playing a call-and-response game with the lead electric guitar.

One of the highlights throughout the album is the electric guitar work like that on “Baraka,” which manages to sound impressively dexterous while modestly blending in. Brahim’s voice itself isn’t too showy, using an expressive tone and delivery rather than throwing vibrato into every note, and once the listener understands that the album is more about flow than dynamics, then it becomes more enjoyable.

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Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “Sometimes it takes only one clear voice in a sea of loud chatter to rise above the chaos and shift the planet back to center.”

Speaking up for yourself is a seed. It begins a process. Others take notice and before long the seed grows into a community movement— leading, hopefully, to understanding and inclusiveness, a righting of wrongs, positive, progressive thought.

Some people have their hands full just learning to undo the teachings and preachings from their childhood that taught them they are not okay, not enough, not loveable. Their voice was not validated or valued. On the other hand, those with clear, encouraged voices have the potential to become movers and shakers, fight for fairness, change laws, increase compassion. Just one confident voice can change lives.

Where are you along this continuum? Do you need to speak up—if not for yourself, for someone you care about? Do you need someone to speak up for you?

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27

COLUMN FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imaginROB BREZSNY ing how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Artist Steven Spasuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches.

He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms.

I’ve seen the results, and they’re both welldone and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor, and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at spazuk.com.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradictory attitudes: an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.” Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time to take that advice to heart, Gemini.

According to my analysis of the astrologi-

cal omens, you not only have a license to engage in rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures—or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have harvested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of warm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw—and at once you were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all—not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary toward it now.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): On a social media site, I posted the following quote from selfhelp teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “’Pushing buttons’ is a metaphor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t you come up with something fresher?” So I did. Here are a few potential substitutes for “push our buttons”: “tweak our manias”…”prank our obsessions”…”glitter-bomb our biases”… ”squeeze our phobias”…”badger our compulsions”…”seduce our repressions”… ”prick our dogmas.” Whichever expression you prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your current job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right.

But there is no right person, just different

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Homework: Identify your fondest childhood memory, and recreate in the present time the feeling you had back then. Testify at Freewillastrology.com flavors of wrong. Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways—you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find and be with your special counterpart. He or she has the precise set of problems you need— is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: tinyurl.com/boydquote.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination?

Meditate on these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that the things-getting-taken-away period of your cycle is winding down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, onehalf of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene. That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio—in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the intensity has been, it has blinded you to some

of the possibilities for collaborative growth that have been emerging. You may now be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope. In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you NEED the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue you. Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony about his creative process: “At each stage I reach a balance, a conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the weakness—I re-enter through the breach—and I reconceive the whole. Thus everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn. You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good work, you should now find where the cracks are, and let them teach you how to proceed from here.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one, and the one we are not aware of.” I suspect you’ll get big glimpses of your third life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: the one you’re normally not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing and catalytic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

Jonesin’ Crossword

MATT JONES

“South by What?”—a lack of direction.

ACROSS 1 IRS Form 1040 figure 4 Imperial follower?

7 Baltic, e.g.

10 Bunny bounce 13 Vietnamese soup 14 It’s chalked before a shot 15 Efficient movements 17 Share, sometimes 19 Influential filmmakers 20 Cut cards with your stomach muscles?

22 Barrett once in Pink Floyd 23 Barcelona bulls 24 “Electric” fish 26 Dead even 29 ___-of-themoment 30 Agcy. concerned with fraud 32 When, in Spanish 34 Right-angled pipes used for gay parade floats?

37 Broadway star Hagen 38 Feedbag bit

39 Nose, bottom of your foot, that spot you can’t reach on your back, e.g.?

46 Out like a light 47 DeLuise in Burt Reynolds outtakes 48 Prefix for space 51 Scratch up like a cougar 52 ___-Therese, Quebec 54 Donates 55 Apr. season 57 Sleeveless garment it’s OK to spill food on?

60 Home-cooked offering 63 Heir, in legal terminology 64 Zappa with the given name Ian 65 Expected to come in 66 Miles ___ gallon 67 Sun. discourse 68 Paid promos 69 Cat consumer of ‘80s TV 70 Docs DOWN 1 Mother Goose

dieters 2 1984 Cyndi Lauper song 3 “That’s a lie!”

4 Slurpee competitors 5 Sought damages from 6 Give (out) 7 “Thus ___ Zarathustra” 8 Perfumery word 9 Crafts’ counterparts 10 Famed escapologist 11 “___ American Cousin” 12 Letters near 7, on some phones 16 Synth instrument with a shoulder strap 18 Fingerprint pattern 21 “___ n’est pas une pipe”: Magritte 25 “Fiddler on the Roof” toast 27 Former “Tonight Show” announcer Hall 28 Jane in a court case 30 Aperture settings

31 “___ the night before Christmas ...”

33 Not more than 35 Rapper ___ Fiasco 36 Band who felt the rains down in Africa 39 Eminem’s “The Way ___” 40 Letters seen in airports 41 Cereal bunch 42 “S.O.S.!”

43 Germ for an invention 44 Inexperienced 45 Dinner hour 49 Do a crop rotation chore 50 Some blenders 53 Poker players look for them 54 Sorrow 56 Playwright Yasmina 58 “Look what I’ve done!”

59 Hebrew month before Tishrei 60 Most TVs, these days 61 Have a payment due 62 Helping hand

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0771 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 17, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29

COLUMN ON THE BEAT

Tell Me All About Your Traffic Ticket Officer Alex explains how to avoid ever getting a traffic citation

ALEX TEACH

You can often gauge how well I know someone I’m in a conversation with based on the length of the “traffic ticket story” they’re

telling me.

First clue: If they’re telling me a long “traffic ticket story,” I don’t know them at all and they certainly don’t know me well.

Second clue: Well…that’s pretty much it. But it’s still okay to ask questions now and then. (If I want your ticket history I can pull it up in my car.

But I’m not going to. Ever. Because I don’t.)

Insensitive? Eh, maybe, but I don’t blame them. Wait, you mean I’m being insensitive? Eh, maybe I am, too, but I am just one man and I have to have some limits. I actually have a profound understanding for why people feel the need to do this: It’s a source of anxiety and therefore a topic they are very passionate about and it’s how they feel they can relate to me upon meeting me. I get it.

Sometimes the comments are snide, sometimes remorseful, and most involve the injustice of being caught (“… instead of that other guy that blew past me just seconds before!”) to deflect from the fact they were still guilty, and I’m always patient with them. (Okay, mostly patient with them, but my expertise is in dealing with human accountability, not being an emotional tampon; give the PTSD-bound a break

“Sometimes the comments are snide, sometimes remorseful, and most involve the injustice of being caught to deflect from the fact they were still guilty, and I’m always patient with them.” here.)

The last conversation I had was actually about why they didn’t get a ticket, hence this week’s normally verboten topic. “I couldn’t find my license anywhere, and I was panicking. My kid was in his car seat and asking what was happening over and over and I actually think he’d undone his seatbelt which would have been a second ticket and finally the cop just said ‘Fine, just…be careful. Have a good day, ma’am.’ What was with that? He didn’t go through my car or anything!”

She had other forms of identification. He had tools in his car to verify who she was, but what made her really lucky was that this wasn’t a drug interdiction cop, or a cop who wasn’t able to convince his supervisor he hadn’t seen a citeable offense in five, ten, or fifteen days as opposed to not doing his job. She was polite and nervous and didn’t know that without a license you can’t get a ticket by the letter of the law—you have to be taken to jail for a

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lack of state ID to verify your identity and brought before a magistrate, and she had a kid in the car that would have suffered.

That’s why she didn’t get a ticket for doing 12 over, so naturally I told her, “Wow. That was just your lucky day I guess! Be careful, don’t waste that!”

I wasn’t lying, but I wasn’t going to give her the idea she had an “out” from now on, and I’m not giving you that idea either because, unlike in her situation, I can take the time to tell you it’s a fool’s errand to think you can chuck your ID into the trunk and drive like Steve McQueen in “Bullitt” so long as you have a kid in the car.

She both had a planetary alignment in the personality and tenor of the cop that pulled her over and a genuine air that he read into along with the sense to find other ways to verify her identity rather than have a fast one pulled on

him.

Discretion + Experience + Instinct = Good Cops. He was fine to let her roll, but any other cop, much less a specialist in ticket writing? Press hard because there are several carbons to be distributed under that white copy, Mrs. Thing.

The real “ticket” to avoidance isn’t claiming ignorance of law or that “everyone else was doing it.” Tickets are a voluntary program, folks; just watch your speed and your brake pedal instead of your cell phone because that’s how you show up “The Man”. If not?

Collect that carbon and add it to the stories.

I’m a listener. It’s what I do.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

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