The Pulse 14.13 » March 30, 2017

MARCH 30, 2017

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

bringing the film

world to chattanooga YOUR GUIDE TO PLANNING AHEAD FOR THE CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL

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VOLUME 14, ISSUE 13 MARCH 30, 2017

CONTENTS 4

EXPLORING THE LEGACY OF CHERNOBYL THROUGH ART

The Chernobyl Children’s Program of Greater Chattanooga, a local charitable organization led by Eve Soltau, is sponsoring an exhibit of children’s art works at the MACC.

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UPDATING THE '90S POWER RANGERS

If you head to your local theater this week, you’ll find quite a few incredible movies. Kong: Skull Island wows audiences with a giant gorilla smashing anything and everything explosive.

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CREATING ART FROM THE COMMON CLAY

Chattanooga’s foremost community pottery studio, Scenic City Clay Arts, is now open in its new location in the basement of the Arts Building downtown.

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EMBRACING VIDEO IN A MODERN MUSIC WORLD

Video killed the radio star, everyone knows that, but who in the hell killed the video star? If you are of a “certain age” (middle) then you were there to see the rise and decline of the music video.

ALSO INSIDE

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Bringing The Film World To Town It’s year four of the Chattanooga Film Festival and it’s a shaping up to be another exceptional celebration of cinema for film fans around the region. In its relatively short existence, the festival has grown to become the best event of the year for anyone that loves going to the movies.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

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CONSIDER THIS

25

RECORD REVIEWS

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DAY TRIPPIN'

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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NEW IN THEATERS

27

BUSINESS BRIEFS

16

ARTS CALENDAR

28

DIVERSIONS

19

MIXOLOGY

29

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

22

MUSIC CALENDAR

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ON THE BEAT

Our own resident film critic John DeVore has spent a significant portion of his life in dark theaters. From an early age, he was drawn to strong storytelling brought to life through the magic of the silver screen.

Louis Lee has been involved in journalism dating back to high school. After a stint in the U.S. Navy, he worked for a weekly newspaper in Baton Rouge. He is now an awardwinning documentary filmmaker and freelance journalist.

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BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Exploring The Legacy Of Chernobyl Through Art Student artists from Belarus showcase their art at Gallery 5

By Debby Buck BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Debby Buck Matt Jones • Louis Lee Tony Mraz • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Miriam Thompson Editorial Interns Addie Whitlow • Alex Plaumann Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Brittany Dreon Rick Leavell • Libby Phillips Danielle Swindell • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

T

Pulse contributor

he Chernobyl Children’s Program of Greater Chattanooga, a local charitable organization led by Eve Soltau, is sponsoring an exhibit of children’s art works at the Mountain Arts Community Center during the month of April.

These unique works of art were created by talented young student artists, between the ages of 9 and 17, at the Republican College of Art in Minsk, Belarus. They reflect Eastern European ethnicity and are all original works in watercolor, tempera, oil, batik, pen and ink, or pastels.

In most cases, the student’s names and ages are provided on the back of the piece.

One hundred percent of the proceeds from the sale will be used for caring for and enriching the lives of these children.

Originally, orphans and children from Belarus impacted by the Chernobyl nuclear disaster 31 years ago were brought to the United States to visit. The Chattanooga group was formed in 1992 to meet the spiritual and physical needs of the Belarusian children through these visits. In 2008, the Belarusian government prohibited relief trips for children.

However, the CCP of Greater Chattanooga maintained their relationship by sponsoring a summer camp in Belarus, and by hosting a Christmas celebration for Belarusian orphans. They work with the Minsk Family Home for young women and the Timothy House for young men.

This summer a combined choir from Lookout Presbyterian Church and First Presbyterian Church of Chattanooga will travel to Belarus and perform at Camp Nadezhda (Hope) for upwards of 500 people. MACC Director Barb Storm plans to accompany

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“Originally, orphans and children from Belarus impacted by the Chernobyl nuclear disaster 31 years ago were brought to the United States to visit.” them for this event.

An added attraction to the exhibit at the MACC is a showing of the film The Babushkas of Chernobyl, a documentary with a list of awards that includes the Los Angeles Film Festival, the Woodstock Film Festival, the Santa Fe Independent Film Festival, the Architecture Film Festival, Rotterdam, and many more.

The film reveals the life changing event that still impacts the “Exclusion Zone” and people miles around. The film will be shown in its entirety at 4, 5, and 6 p.m. next Friday April 7, immediately before the reception. It will also run during the reception. Donations will be solicited to offset the cost of the film.

George Johnson of The New York Times says it is “…a beautiful film [that] captures the subtleties and uncertainties of Chernobyl, and, moreover, the resilience of the human soul.” The Hollywood Reporter raved, calling it “…a haunting and strangely uplifting documentary.”

While The San Francisco Examiner said it was “…a portrait of a place and its people who are like no other.”

The exhibit at Gallery 5 in the Mountain Arts Community Center, located at 809 Kentucky Ave. on Signal Mountain, opens next Friday and runs through April 28. The opening reception is slated for next Friday from 5 to 7 p.m.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

Spend An Evening In India Right Here At Home Arguably one of the largest celebrations of Indian culture that Chattanooga has ever had, the Raghu Dixit Project, referred to as “India’s biggest cultural export”

by The Guardian, will be putting on a live show in the Scenic City.

Their performance is part of An Evening in India: The Raghu Dixit Project and will be held at the Camp House on Saturday night.

An Evening in India will be presented

by Mad Priest Coffee Roasters as part of their mission to organize cultural events in Chattanooga. The celebration will

include a pre-concert Indian dinner at 6:30 p.m., catered by Dosa Hut Indian Cuisine, which will have both vegetarian and non-vegetarian options.

The Raghu Dixit Project is a collaborative group who are based out of India.

They’ve performed over 1,500 concerts in more than 30 countries, and they’ve also collaborated with some of the world’s most influential musicians, including Abigail Washburn, wife of Bela Fleck, British folk band Bellowhead and sarod player Soumik Datta, to name a few.

The Raghu Dixit Project has fans from a variety of different age groups and nationalities, so they are sure to put on a stellar show at The Camp House, making An Evening in India an event you won’t want to miss. — Addie Whitlow

“One day it just clicks. You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” —Anonymous The most important thing in this life is your happiness. Does that sound selfish? It isn’t, and here’s why: When you are happy, when you have “enough” of what you need on the inside, you are able to offer up all the overflow to others. Your generosity, kindness, compassion and gratitude become what you’re all about.

You become a better friend, partner, son or daughter, mother or father…your wealth of happiness refills the happiness of others.

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COLUMN ∙ DAY TRIPPIN'

Bluegrass Underground And More!

Just up the road, Cumberland Caverns both delights and surprises

Louis Lee

Pulse contributor

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T’S ABOUT 60 MILES AWAY FROM Chattanooga driving, but a world away in adventure. Cumberland Caverns was “discovered” back in 1810 by surveyor Aaron Higgenbotham, who gave the large cave its name. Another section of the vast hollow underground was known as Henshaw Cave. Both were mined for nitrates during the War of 1812 and during the Civil War. More exploration in the 1940s and 1950s led to the discovery of the “Ten Acre Room,” a large 60 foot wide, ten foot high, 2,000 foot long chamber. It was also discovered that the caves connected. In 1955 the entire network was renamed, collectively, Cumberland Caverns.

In all, there are some 32 miles of pathways, large and small, that can be explored beneath the surface of Warren County, Tennessee, making it one of the largest, most extensive caves in North America.

Cumberland Caverns is also a National Historic Landmark. That exploration can be undertaken by small or large groups and customized with the help of the staff at Cumberland Caverns. Daytime as well as overnight excursions are also available.

Daytime trips are the most common. The shortest would be a 1.5 mile guided tour.

This walk is through an 1880s saltpeter mine. It’s very easy on the feet and legs and is a great way for even the very young and very old to experience the caves. On

this tour, you can see a waterfall, mirrored pools and a great variety of mineral formations including stalactites, stalagmites, flow stone, curtains and columns. The path is smooth and there’s not a lot of change of elevation involved.

These tours leave every hour on the hour.

For the more adventurous and more physically-fit, there is the “Higgenbotham’s Revenge” tour.

This one is recommended only for experienced cavers who are in good physical condition. There’s also a 12-year-old minimum age requirement. Just getting to cave entrance is an interesting 1.5 mile hike through the beautiful forests of Middle Tennessee.

Once inside, you will retrace the route taken by the original discoverer, Aaron Higgenbotham. Narrow passageways, muddy trails and ladder climbs (some as high as 20 feet) make this a true adventure. Bring along some spare clothes, you may get wet and muddy on this one.

For the most sturdy and experienced cavers, there’s the Extreme Caving Adventure. This is only for small groups of 2-14 people and no one under 16 years of age.

Along this trail, you’ll be required to climb ladders, ropes and cross the Devil’s Quarry.

Also, this is where you can see the Ten Acre Room mentioned earlier in this article. It’s a twisting, winding passage into the depths of the caverns, but for those who

brave it, the payoff is magnificent.

The Monument Pillar is a unique sight, and a fitting payoff for your efforts.

While all these caving adventures are certainly enough to make your trip worthwhile … and the sheer vastness of the underground passages are legendary … they’re not the only or even best-known reasons for making the trip north to McMinnville. It’s the music.

Bluegrass Underground is, perhaps, the most unique concert series in North America. Three hundred, thirty-three feet underground is the Volcano Room. This massive void in the solid rock of Middle Tennessee countryside is an acoustically perfect venue to perform music.

At 200 feet wide, 100 feet long, and 60 feet from ceiling to floor, the Volcano Room can comfortably seat more than 600 music lovers.

Concerts occur almost weekly and are recorded for radio broadcast...

and a few years ago, the concerts caught the attention of Public Television. Bluegrass Underground is a very popular show on PBS stations nationwide.

In front of the Volcano Room is the unassuming stage…behind are the concession stands where you can get a great barbeque sandwich, hot dogs, drinks, chips or candy bars. But above…that’s another story. Hanging 60 feet above your seats is the Grand Lady…a 1,500 pound crystal chandelier that hung in the Lowes Metropolitan Theater in Brooklyn, New York, from 1928 until she was purchased by Roy Daves and brought to Cumberland Caverns in 1981.

Now that’s a cave experience you’ll get nowhere else in the world.

After a stint in the U.S. Navy, Louis Lee worked for a weekly newspaper in Baton Rouge, then returned to college for formal training in television news. He is now an award-winning documentary filmmaker.

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COVER STORY

Bringing The Film World To Chattanooga The Chattanooga Film Festival returns for a fourth year, bigger and better than ever

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

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T’S YEAR FOUR OF THE Chattanooga Film Festival and it’s a shaping up to be another exceptional celebration of cinema for film fans around the region. In its relatively short existence, the festival has grown to become the best event of the year for anyone that loves going to the movies.

Each year, I set a path for readers, a suggestion of films and events not to miss, so that readers can make the most of the four-day event and experience the festival to the fullest.

And each year, I fail to follow my own suggestions in spectacular fashion. There is simply no right way to attend the festival. There are too many options, too many films, too many events to make an overall effective plan.

Of course, I can provide you with a list of films that interest me, a suggestion for workshops to attend, which parties might suit your fancy, but ultimately, the best film festival experience is one tailored to your own whims and desires. Don’t plan too much—take a friend downtown and see what’s happening.

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Rule One: Talk To Strangers In what should be a big draw to cinema fans, the festival is full of like-minded folks who love movies. They all have their opinions on what films to see, and more importantly, why you should see them. While the descriptions in the official schedule are great, there always a chance that you’ll run into someone that can tell you background information on the film, the director, the actors, etc., helping you make a more informed decision.

Maybe you can find someone with similar taste, someone that can really help point you to a new experience that you wouldn’t

COVER STORY

“In what should be a big draw to cinema fan, the festival is full of like-minded folks who love movies.

They all have their opinions on what films to see, and more importantly, why you should see them.” have had hanging out in your own little bubble. Plus, the festival is full of directors and artists and others that have direct knowledge of their own films – and they are all eager to talk shop.

Rule Two: Attend A Workshop One part of the festival that I tend to miss out on are the workshops—not because they aren’t great, but because the festival is so packed with content that I forget to go. Workshops aren’t just for filmmakers.

They are a chance to peer behind the curtain, to see how the sausage is made, so to speak, to allow you even more appreciation about just how a film is made directly from the filmmakers themselves. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge is always worthwhile.

Rule Three: Step Outside Your Comfort Zone Not a horror fan? See a horror movie. Don’t care much for documentaries? Check out one on the schedule. Once a year, Chattanooga residents get a chance to see high quality, carefully curated films from experts on the subject.

There is not a film in the festival that hasn’t been gone through extreme vetting. Even if a genre isn’t your favorite, you have an opportunity to see why others love them. If nothing

else, you can at least appreciate the reasons behind a desire to make that type of film.

While I’m sure I could come up with a few more rules, the most important one is to enjoy everything the festival has to offer. Below you’ll find a list of my own recommendations.

I’m sure they’ll change as the weekend goes on.

THURSDAY, APRIL 6 Opening Night Party (5:30 p.m.): Why not start at the beginning? The opening night party is always bustling with new faces, some snack foods, and plenty of drinks. See who’s coming before heading over to the first screening.

Dave Made A Maze (7:30 p.m.): Stick around after the party to see the first film of the night, about a man who builds a fort in his living room only to find out that it’s bigger than he intended. Billed as “Goonies meets Gilliam meets Gondry,” Dave Made A Maze is sure to start out the festival with some weird.

Or you could go see Whose Streets (7:30 p.m.) if you’d rather start out your weekend with some thoughtful anger.

Whose Streets is a documentary that follows the Ferguson uprising and the issues surrounding the Michael Brown shooting.

As I have a special place in my heart for political documenta-

ries, I’ll likely begin my weekend here.

Our Heavenly Bodies @ The Palace (9:30 p.m.): After an hour and a half of frustration directed at institutional racism, it might be nice to sit and wonder at a classic film from the silent era. Our Heavenly Bodies is especially important as it’s the first festival screening at The Palace, Chattanooga’s new indie theater. Be one of the first to check it out!

Afga Presents: The Dragon Lives Again (11:40 p.m.): In what is likely the weirdest Bruce Lee movie to not star Bruce Lee, see a genuine oddity of a film that capitalizes on the death of Bruce Lee to tell a story that doesn’t make sense. Not that any of us would want it to.

FRIDAY, APRIL 7 Lost In Paris (10:15 a.m.): Start Friday with a charming comedy about Paris that tells the story of Fiona and her adventures with a homeless man named Dom, a man with no filter.

Happy Hunting (12:15 p.m.): This film seems to be a re-envisioning of “The Most Dangerous Game” but with more rednecks. That’s more than enough to get me to see it.

24x36 The Collection (2:00 p.m.): This documentary “explores the birth, death and resurrection of illustrated movie poster art.” In a time when most movie posters look uniform, it’s a reminder of what we lost and what we can hope to regain.

On The Sly with Richard Twice (3:30 p.m.): I can’t get enough of good documentaries. This one follows as “director and super-fan Michael Rubenstone sets continued on page 10 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 9

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COVER STORY

“There is not a film in the festival that hasn’t been gone through extreme vetting. Even if a genre isn’t your favorite, you have an opportunity to see why others love them.” out in search of long-time reclusive funk legend, Sly Stone.”

Anti-Porno (5:15 p.m.): Anti-Porno is a film by Japanese director Sion Sono that examines ideas of feminism and gender roles through reversal and alteration.

Joe Bob Does Tennessee (7:00 p.m.): Without a doubt, Joe Bob Briggs is the best part of the Chattanooga Film Festival.

Do not, under any circumstances, miss this event.

Uwe Boll All Night Stroll (10:30 p.m.): This event is a retirement party for a controversial yet well-known filmmaker, featuring a career spanning interview conducted by none other than Joe Bob Briggs followed by an all-night pub crawl with Boll himself.

SATURDAY, APRIL 8 My Entire High School Is Sinking Into The Sea (12:10 p.m.): This animated film features the voices of Jason Schwartzman, Lena Dunham, Reggie Watts, Maya Rudolph and Susan Sarandon and is about exactly what the title says.

Benson and Moorehead Script Workshop (12:45 p.m.): As I suggested, make sure to attend a workshop.

As someone who frequently criticizes the writing of films, it is

more than worthwhile to learn just what it takes to create a good script.

Score (2:15 p.m.): Featuring a Q&A with Chattanooga Symphony Principal Pops Conductor Bob Bernhardt, Score explores what makes a film score great.

A Dark Song (3:30 p.m.): A supernatural thriller that the CFF claims has “the biggest jaw drop ending of any film” this year, A Dark Song is a film that everyone will be talking about. Make sure you can be part of the conversation.

David Lynch: The Art Of Life (5:20 p.m.): This documentary about legendary filmmaker David Lynch is a must see for any film fan this year. How anyone could pass it up is a mystery to me.

Cff Stands Up with Clayton English (8:00 p.m.): Stand-up comedy has been a long standing tradition with the CFF and this year Clayton English, a Last Comic Standing winner, is sure to make yet another memorable experience.

Everything Is Terrible: A Live Experience (9:45 p.m.): Everything Is Terrible was an audience favorite last year. For those not knowing what to expect, it’s probably better that you don’t. Just go and

watch the magic happen.

Whiskey Galore (11:25 p.m.): A story that has been told many times over, Whiskey Galore is a new telling of a Scottish island town that ran out of whiskey because of World War II rationing. It’s a good way to end a long day of film.

SUNDAY, APRIL 9 Tennessee Filmmaker Showcase (10:45 a.m.): This block features ten short films from Tennessee filmmakers.

Support local film and see just what kind of talent lurks in these hills.

Secret Screening (1:00 p.m.): Every festival has secret screenings. The secret is usually ruined sometime during the weekend, but if you keep your head down, you might be truly surprised. It’s guaranteed to be something you don’t want to miss.

The Lure (2:30 p.m.): The Lure is a European film about mermaids who perform at a Warsaw nightclub. That’s enough information for me.

Donnie Darko (4:15 p.m.): While we’ve all seen Donnie Darko, what we haven’t seen is the 4K restoration nor the accompanying documentary Deus Ex Machina: The Philosophy Of Donnie Darko by Chattanooga native Daniel Griffith. It’s definitely worth your time.

Closing Night @ The Waterhouse Pavilion (7:00 p.m.): End the weekend by celebrating with new friends and voting on your favorite entries for this year’s festival.

These are just my suggestions, of course. I’ll probably change directions on day one and never make a course correction. There’s no wrong way to experience the festival. Unless you don’t go. Don’t do that. Support local film. ···· You can view the entire schedule of films and events at chattfilmfest.org CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 11

FILM & TELEVISION

Updating The '90s Power Rangers Can five modern teenagers tap back into the zeitgeist and capture a new audience?

By Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

I

F YOU HEAD TO YOUR LOCAL theater this week, you’ll find quite a few incredible movies. Kong: Skull Island wows audiences with a giant gorilla smashing anything and everything explosive; Get Out terrifies moviegoers with mind-twisting themes; and Life reveals the true horrors that lie outside Earth’s atmosphere.

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pressed not to notice is that there are currently three remakes, or adaptations, showing. Chips, Beauty and the Beast, and, what every ‘90s kid has waited decades for, Power Rangers.

It’s a trend, it seems, of these last few years that nearly every week there is a film playing that’s either a remake or a big-screen adaptation of a popular television show from years ago.

It’s hard to see your favorite things redone. Will it stick true to the elements you loved so much in the original or completely ruin your childhood in just

FILM & TELEVISION

“Of the many things this film did well, the first was giving a plausible backstory to The Power Rangers and how they come by their new abilities.” two measly hours?

Worldwide audiences can attest that Beauty and the Beast has done a spectacular job of sticking to the script from the 1991 original, but there are mixed reviews from critics and audiences about this new Power Rangers.

Of the many things this film did well, the first was giving a plausible backstory to The Power Rangers and how they come by their new abilities. Learning of their newfound responsibility in both the original show and the movie goes about the same, with Zordon, the proverbial leader of The Power Rangers, basically trapping five unassuming teens in a spaceship to explain their new roles in protecting the universe from the evil Rita Repulsa.

In the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Zordon bestows power upon the teens, while in the film, Jason, Billy, Zack, Trini, and Kimberly, all happen upon a rock formation that Billy, the Blue Ranger—formerly the nerdy, smart one in the 90s version, while now the intelligent, spectrum-based teen in the reboot—has managed to locate in his spare time.

In this rock formation are the five Power Coins, red, blue, black, yellow, and pink. Each teen grabs one, gifting them the ability of super strength and, at this point, super curiosity, as their journey begins.

With us so far?

The teens chosen to portray the Power Rangers were impeccably cast, with the Red Ranger, Jason Scott played by Dacre Montgomery, taking the lead beautifully, and RJ Cyler, Billy the Blue Ranger, proving his acting chops more and more as the movie went on.

The choice to cast relatively un-

known actors as the Rangers was a smart move, as it allowed audiences to lose themselves in the story rather than recall every other character they’ve seen that actor portray.

The pacing of the movie was surely an issue for some audience members as it felt like a lot of build up to the first Morphin Time, but ultimately ended with a good ol’ battle scene.

Watching the movie with the knowledge that there will be more movies after this first one meant the pacing wasn’t an issue for me as a story like this one needs quite an introduction. You can’t just put the kids in suits and expect them to be super right off the bat.

These things take time in a normal universe, something that I was happy to see from this film, as they took their time setting up our Rangers and their responsibility to our world.

While this first film may not have packed the punch some audiences expected, the second film in this saga will surely morph into a fantastic feature as our Rangers will have some skill under their belts and the understanding of just how important they are to the safety of our world.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

Ghost in the Shell In the near future, Major is the first of her kind: A human saved from a terrible crash, who is cyber-enhanced to be a perfect soldier devoted to stopping the world's most dangerous criminals.

Director: Rupert Sanders Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Pilou Asbæk, Takeshi Kitano, Juliette Binoche

The Boss Baby A suit-wearing briefcase-carrying baby pairs up with his seven-year old brother to stop the dastardly plot of the CEO of Puppy Co. Director: Tom McGrath Stars: Alec Baldwin, Steve Buscemi, Jimmy Kimmel

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Creating Art From The Common Clay Scenic City Clay Arts finds a new home downtown

An Evening In Havana With Song And Dance The precise, power, and passion of the Chattanooga Ballet will be on full display this Thursday at the William L. Montague Jr. Center for Dance. Starting at 6:30 p.m., the Chattanooga Ballet will put on An Evening in Havana.

Chattanooga Ballet’s mission is to promote the participation of dance, stimulate the artistic growth of their dancers, and increase public awareness about the benefits of dance.

An Evening in Havana is a fundraising event for the Chattanooga Ballet, with the proceeds benefitting the Chattanooga Ballet’s Dancer Scholarship fund. An Evening in Havana will include a cocktail reception with heavy hors d’oeurves, a silent auction, and special performances with new Cuban themes created by Artistic director, Andrew Parker and performed by Chattanooga Ballet dancers.

Tickets for An Evening in Havana are $75 per person and will help support the fine artistry that is our Chattanooga Ballet and their passion for self-expression through dance. During this fun and entertaining event, Chattanooga Ballet will present the first annual L’Etoile Award to Warren Barnett of Barnett & Company.

This is sure to be an artistic and inspiring event. Anyone intrigued by dance should come and support the local choreographers and dancers taking part in Chattanooga Ballet’s An Evening in Havana. — Alex Plaumann An Evening in Havana Thursday, 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Ballet 817 N. Market Street (423) 265-0617 chattanoogaballet.net 14 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Corn Husk Bowl by Mignnone Pearson

By Tony Mraz

Pulse contributor

C

HATTANOOGA’S FOREMOST COMmunity pottery studio, Scenic City Clay Arts, is now open in its new location in the basement of the Arts Building downtown. The large new facility is hosting a variety of classes and workshops for all ages and skill levels, and they offer studio space for working ceramicists.

The studio began as a tiny public service from the City of Chattanooga—they started at Warner Park in a tiny little room with only six wheels. In 2007, the City moved them to Lookout Valley, where they were open for only nine hours a week.

When 2013’s new administration came in, the City de-funded their program. In response, a group of clay artists and potters got together,

raised money, and rented the space from the city.

They were there for four years before moving to their current location.

Through a grant from Benwood/Lyndhurst Foundation and ArtsBuild, SCCA has been granted use of the entire basement of the Arts Building for 18 months. After 13 months, ArtsBuild will evaluate their financial situation and decide whether or bit to give them a five-year lease.

The success of SCCA depends upon involvement from the community, and educational outreach. So far, things are looking good—they have already sold out two complete sets of classes. “It’s unbelievable the response we’ve had as far as classes,” says executive director David Chambers.

Right now, classes are being taught by some incredibly skilled professionals who are volunteering their time. Mark Issenberg is currently teach-

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“Through a grant from Benwood/ Lyndhurst Foundation and ArtsBuild, SCCA has been granted use of the entire basement of the Arts Building for 18 months.” ing a two-part vase throwing workshop, on how to make a large vase in two parts that looks like it was thrown in one piece. For the firing, some of the students are going to take their work up to Mark’s kiln at his studio in Rising Fawn. Mark is known for his wood fired pottery, so they are working on getting a wood fire group together.

As long as you’re taking classes, you don’t have to have a membership. You might only meet one night a week, but you can come in as many times as you want, because clay is all about practice.

SCCA offers two categories of classes: hand building and wheel throwing. They also have an open studio policy, for people who know what they’re doing. For this, a ceramicist can purchase

a membership. They offer different types of memberships, which include discounts on workshops and studio sessions.

They have everything you need for clay, and will work to accommodate anyone’s individual needs.

Some people work at home studios, and bring their work in to fire. They have a clay supply store, and if you buy your clay from them, firings are included in the cost.

They maintain a large selection of glazes, with over 20 varieties to choose from. Their newly opened gallery is open whenever the studio is open, and exhibits the whole gamut of work that is produced.

In addition to their classes and workshops, the studio will see a summer camp for kids, and an educational program aimed at homeless/ disabled citizens. They are partnering with the Hart Gallery, and working on outreach to the community kitchen and Patton Towers.

Working with clay can be incred-

ibly therapeutic. In the future, David wants to work with veterans who have PTSD. “Pottery is a very soothing thing to do. You get on the wheel, and just forget about the world.” In 1996, he fought a battle with cancer.

After recovering, he discovered clay and graduated from UTC’s Ceramics Department.

Since UTC closed their Ceramics Department three years ago, SCCA is offering special rates for UTC students. They are also working towards getting adjunct professor status for their instructors, so that art education students can take clay classes with them.

SCCA’s goal is to promote the art of clay through education and practice. David tells us, “Without practice, you can’t really do anything in clay. It’s all about muscle memory. Learning the wheel, you might throw 1000 pots before you get one that you really like.”

He explains, “You don’t need to be an artist to make pottery.

In the beginning, it’s all about the craft: how to make it, and how to make it well. Once you learn the process, you can do whatever you want with it. Like most art forms, you can never stop learning.”

THU3.30 Art Alive

Using movement to explore the Hunter's largest collection piece.

6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

FRI3.31 That Other Woman’s Child

It's a bluegrass musical.

7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu

SAT4.1 West Side Story

Shakespeare meets New York's west side in the classic musical.

2, 7:30 p.m.

Robert Kirk Walker Community Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 290-8515 cdoorent.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Art Alive

THURSDAY3.30 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com Art Alive 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Open Figure Drawing Studio 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Stab, Stab, Stab: Needle Felting for Stress Relief 6 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Graphic Design Class 6 p.m.

A.I.R. Labs

16 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

2601 Broad St. (423) 380-8089 weareairlabs.com An Evening in Havana 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Ballet 817 N. Market St. (423) 265-0617 chattanoogaballet.net Shamrocks and Knockouts 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1 Carter Plz. (423) 756-0001 That Other Woman’s Child: A Bluegrass Musical 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu Chris Franjola

7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

FRIDAY3.31 Aquarium Adventures: Butterflies 9:30 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Wise Women Belly Dancing 5 p.m.

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Chris was a writer and regular performer on E!’s hit talk show Chelsea Lately for eight years, writing over 1,500 episodes of the popular comedy show.

Chris Franjola The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Toes Yoga 3228 Brainerd Rd. (423) 760-8375 toesyoga.com Graphic Design with A.I.R. Labs 6 p.m.

A.I.R. Labs 2601 Broad St. (423) 380-8089 weareairlabs.com Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com That Other Woman’s Child: A Bluegrass Musical 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu West Side Story 7:30 p.m.

Robert Kirk Walker Community Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 290-8515 cdoorent.com Chris Franjola 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Signs of Spring Nature Walk

SATURDAY4.1 Money School 8:30 a.m.

Brainerd Crossroads 4011 Austin St. (423) 756-6234 cneinc.org/money-school St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Pollinator Palooza How to Create a Pollinator Habitat in Your Garden 9 a.m.

Crabtree Farms of Chattanooga 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Summerville Steam Special 9 a.m.

Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Wildflower Tram Tour 10 a.m., 1 p.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496

chattanoogarivermarket.com River Market Yoga 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com The Bunny Train 10:30 a.m.

Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Kids in the Kitchen 11 a.m.

Highland Park Commons 2000 Union Ave. (423) 267-5053 jlchatt.org Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 West Side Story 2, 7:30 p.m.

Robert Kirk Walker Community Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 290-8515 cdoorent.com Hard Hats & Heels 6 p.m.

Toyota of Cleveland 3560 3560 Village N. Blvd. habitatofcleveland.org An Evening in India: The Raghu Dixit Project 6 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 CSO Pop Series Eileen Ivers 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org That Other Woman’s Child: A Bluegrass Musical 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu Chris Franjola 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SUNDAY4.2 Gospel Sunday Brunch 1:30 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 402-0452 jazzanooga.org Signs of Spring Nature Walk 2 p.m.

Lula Lake Land Trust 5000 Lula Lake Rd. (706) 820-0520 tnaqua.org Día De Diversión Familiar/ Family Fun Day 2 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Sorority 101 2 p.m.

UTC University Center

642 E. 5th St. (423) 425-4455 chattpanhellenic.com That Other Woman’s Child: A Bluegrass Musical 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu Chris Franjola 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY4.3 Red Bank Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804 Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com BandAid Benefit 6 p.m.

Abba’s House 5208 Hixson Pike (423) 855-8220 vim-chatt.org.

TUESDAY4.4 Tuesday Fun Lab with A.I.R Labs CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 17

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Drinking Liberally 8:45 a.m.

A.I.R. Labs 2601 Broad St. (423) 380-8089 weareairlabs.com TechTown Spring Break STEAM Week 9 a.m.

TechTown 325 Market St. (423) 505-9836 aafchattanooga.com Drawing Essentials 9 a.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com WordPress For Beginners 5:30 p.m.

The Edney 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 thechattery.org Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Rapid Learning Intro to Kayaking Pool 7 p.m.

Hulsey Wellness Center 4870 University Dr. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

WEDNESDAY4.5 Art Babies: Parent Child Art Classes 10 a.m.

18 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger East 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger East Hospital 1751 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Drinking Liberally 6 p.m.

Mellow Mushroom Downtown 205 Broad St. (423) 266-5564 Immigration Law: How Did We Get Here?

6 p.m.

Amani Chattanooga 420 S. Willow St. (423) 531-6496 thechattery.org Improv Chattanooga 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY

Mysterious & Misunderstood Mezcal The Blue Agave cactus brings us much more than your regular tequila

By Alex Plaumann Pulse contributor

H

ARVESTED BY HAND, AND THEN roasted in pits dug underground.

Yes, those are the first two steps in the production of artisanal mezcal.

Mezcal is made from all types of agave plants native to Mexico, and is usually produced in Oaxaca, Mexico. These distilled, agave-based alcoholic beverages are wide ranging, but the most popular, without question, is Tequila.

Tequila is a type of mezcal because it is made from agave, but unlike mezcal, which is made from any type of agave, tequila can only be made from the blue Weber agave found in the Tequila region of Mexico. To break it down: Tequila is a type of mezcal, but mezcal is not tequila.

When making mezcal, after the agave is roasted in pits beneath the ground, this traditional production calls for the agave to be ground using stone grinding wheels.

The next step is to ferment the agave with natural yeast before distilling it within copper alembic stills. This is how you make traditional, and high quality artisanal mezcal.

Mezcal is very traditional, but some brands do switch things up. For example, Cruz De Fuego uses horse drawn grinding stones and bakes their agave in a wood fire oven (a bit more similar to tequila).

Even if things have evolved a bit, the same traditional production methods are a huge part of what makes mezcal so unique. So if you’re wondering why the price of mezcal is higher than expected, it’s because of this unique process.

So what does mezcal taste like? The first flavor profile you are sure to taste is the smokiness of the roasted agave. With the three I tried, this was the defining feature

that really gave a clear sense of the mezcal taste.

The smokiness is why both Josh Rosa, the Assistant Bar Manager at The Social, and Matilda Midnight Bartender Beth Durham thought mixing mezcal into a sweet drink, and creating that dynamic sweet and smoky taste was the way to go.

Personally, I love mezcal chilled and on the rocks. When you get that ice-cold sip of smoky agave, it’s a very different and interesting taste that I look forward to exploring further.

“Mezcal is old school,” said Rosa, and I think that shines through when drinking it. There are no thrills or gimmicks; it is a tasty and smoky full flavored liquor that Rosa said a lot of whiskey drinkers are starting to like.

Both bartenders spoke abut the lack of people ordering mezcal, and it is usually something they have to recommend. But after recommending it, people seem to take to the unique flavor that differs from the typical blue agave flavor of tequila.

An important aspect to know about mezcal is the aging catego-

“Even if things have evolved a bit, the same traditional production methods are a huge part of what makes mezcal so unique.” ries. When the mezcal is young and aged for less than two months, it’s called a joven. Reposado is aged in oak between twp months and a year, and añejo is aged between one to three years.

Knowing these categories will help you understand the pricing difference between different mez-

Mezcal Tasting Tips: Los Amantes Joven was my favorite mezcal. It is unaged, triple distilled, and has a light smokiness with a smooth finish. Los Amantes has a slightly sweet aroma

and bits of citrus are noticeable when tasted.

Cruz De Fuego Joven is unaged with a very smoky flavor, and was the winner of the 2015 San Francisco Spirits Competition.

cals. On most occasions the price will be higher for the older mezcal.

Lastly, I’d like to leave you with a small tip. For any mezcal containing a worm: don’t drink it. It’s simply a marketing ploy, and usually denotes a lesser quality mezcal.

Plus, lets be honest, who wants to drink a larvae?

Del Maguey Chichicapa is very smooth, traditional, and light on the palate. Del Maguey has a soft smoke, green agave, and lime flavor that makes it great for sipping or mixing.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19

MUSIC

Embracing Video In A Modern Music World Skip Frontz Jr. and His Left Handed Luckies try to take music videos from a thing of the past to the future

25 Years Of The California Guitar Trio Songbirds Guitar Museum is finally open, and they’re making new waves in the Chattanooga music scene by bringing a variety of world-renowned musicians to the city. This week’s show is going to be no exception. California Guitar Trio, a skillfully-talented group who has worldwide recognition, will be celebrating 25 years of performing together with a show at Songbirds at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday.

California Guitar Trio, formed in none other than Los Angeles, first met in 1987 after enrolling in Robert Fripp’s Guitar Craft Course. They didn’t establish themselves as a trio until 1991, but they’ve left a huge impact on the world of both acoustic and electric guitars through the release of 15 albums, which have been streamed more than 59 million times on Pandora.

The distinctive style of California Guitar Trio transcends almost every genre; they’ve performed tunes of The Beatles, Queen, Pink Floyd; even Bach and Beethoven.

In addition, their music is recognized worldwide; it has been played on both the Space Shuttle Endeavor and during Olympics coverage.

The trio strives to provide an exciting and engulfing concert experience by incorporating humor and stories into their performances to make guests feel like part of the music, making California Guitar Trio’s 25th Anniversary show at Songbirds one you won’t soon forget.

— Addie Whitlow California Guitar Trio Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station Street (423) 531-2473 songbirdsguitars.com 20 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

V

IDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR, EVERYone knows that, but who in the hell killed the video star? If you are of a “certain age” (middle) then you were there to see the rise and decline of the music video. Sure, they’re still being made, but they aren’t nearly as ubiquitous and haven’t been for a decade or more.

When the “fad” first hit, every two-bit band coming down the pike had to have a video, it was as de rigueur as a demo tape or a publicity still. A good video might give some legs to a bad song, but a good video and a good song combined to make something altogether bigger than the sum of its parts and there was some real art in those days.

The marriage of audio and visual offered a whole new medium of expression with nearly unlimited potential and the best of the best was something to behold.

It goes without saying that there was a wealth of awful material as well; the main thrust of Beavis and Butthead was ridiculing some of those efforts (then again, there has never been a shortage of terrible music either.) In one fell swoop Billy Squier, who was one of the biggest acts of his day, utterly destroyed his career with the epically awful video for “Rock Me Tonite.” Don’t take my word for it; go have a look if you need something to make you cringe.

Still, videos like “Thriller” made such an impact that 35 years later people still re-enact the dance moves. The list of “big deal” videos is extensive,

MUSIC

“Remember when MTV showed videos” is as tired a cliché as you’ll hear, but honestly, in this day and age MTV and its ilk are entirely unnecessary. albeit somewhat subjective and a video didn’t have to be the multi-milliondollar production. A lone guitar player under a spotlight in a small club could carry at least as much gravitas.

“Remember when MTV showed videos” is as tired a cliché as you’ll hear, but honestly, in this day and age MTV and its ilk are entirely unnecessary. With the rise of social media and the availability of cheap but effective technology, one would expect to see more local and regional acts putting some supplementary material out there.

I’ve written thousands of words about the untapped potential of local talent in Chattanooga. The realization that there were and are so many stellar musicians writing, recording and performing in the area is what motivated me to start writing about it in the first place.

Add to that Chattanooga’s emergence as a home for independent film makers and the marriage of the two seems inevitable. It is a very curious thing that we aren’t seeing more of it already and I sincerely hope it’s a situation that rectifies itself since the artistic potential is so great.

At least one local group is exploring the possibilities. Skip Frontz Jr. and His Left Handed Luckies have released their first official video, “One Dime at a Time.” Google the title or see it directly here: https://youtu. be/0Aqs8-qfyxY. As videos go, it’s a classic arrangement, some road shots interspersed with some up close and personal playing.

It isn’t an overly complicated presentation, but it doesn’t need to be. Its simplicity is its strength, the perfect video for the song and Viper House Records (the company that produced the video) has done an excellent job of producing a complementary visual to one of Skip’s kick ass tunes.

I will say that the entire Vicetown album lends itself to some very interesting visual storytelling and it will be exciting to see what they decide to do next.

For that matter I hope to see more of this “lost” art form from some of Chattanooga’s other artists. As a town we certainly have the musical talent and it is more and more apparent that we also have the filmmaking talent.

Coupled with some spectacular scenery and shooting locations, it seems a no-brainer that the scenic city ought to be the epicenter of next wave music video production.

What's Up And Coming In Chatt-Town t’s early in the year but there are two upcoming events worthy of calendar marking. It’s been almost six months since Husky Burnette left the Scenic City for Colorado territory with partner Caroline Crews and the kids have been busy.

They’re about to emWebb Barringer bark on an exhausting three month, 43 show tour that happily includes two things, this EP has been in the recording sessions and a visit to works longer than most bands their old stomping grounds. spend on entire albums, but it April 23rd the blistering blues only speaks to his commitment act will be performing at the to delivering the very best mateTattanooga Tattoo Expo here rial he can muster, which is why in Chattanooga, followed by it promises to be one of the best a Noon Tunes gig May 31st at releases of the year.

Miller plaza and June 16th gig at Although very hush-hush about Brew and Cue down on the bouits content, Webb has promised a levard. review copy in the weeks leading Webb Barringer’s long awaited up the actual release. As a fan debut EP is set for release June I’d like to recommend a potential 24th at Tremont Tavern. No one title for the eagerly anticipated can ever accuse the uber-talentcollection: “About Damn Time.” ed Mr. Barringer of rushing in to — Marc T. Michael

THU3.30

FRI3.31

SAT4.1

Permanent Record Drum Night

Moustache Friday

“Jazz On the Grass”

Join Joshua C. Green, Carl Cadwell, Matt Skudlarek, and Weave: A Conceptual Dance Company.

6:30 p.m.

Wayne-O-Rama 1800 Rossville Ave. wayneorama.com

Glowing Bordis, Nim Nims, Pleasure Vulture, and The Tammys help us celebrate that iconic symbol of follicular glory.

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

With Sweet Georgia Sound, The Inman Street Band, Blue Groove, Air National Guard Band of the South, and the UTC Jazz Band.

11 a.m.

Coolidge Park 150 River St jazzanooga.org CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Thomas Tillman

THURSDAY3.30 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m.

Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Permanent Record Drum Night with Joshua C. Green, Carl Cadwell, Matt Skudlarek 6:30 p.m.

Wayne-O-Rama 1800 Rossville Ave. wayneorama.com An Evening in Havana 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Ballet 817 N. Market St. chattanoogaballet.net Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. Ringgold, GA (706) 260-8404 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

22 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Gino Fanelli 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Diarrhea Planet, Sunsap 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

FRIDAY3.31 Papa Sway 5 p.m.

Underdogs Bar & Grill 2503 Westside Dr. underdogsportsbarandgrill.com Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 “Til Death Do Us Prog” Perihelion, Wings Denied, From Another Planet, Malviant, Age Of Atrocity 7 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

PULSE MUSIC SPOTLIGHT Matt Downer performs traditional old time music on fiddle, banjo and guitar but with a modern sensibility that has made him a “fiddle favorite” for years.

Matt Downer Saturday, 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Gino Fanelli 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Courtney Daly 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Moustache Friday - Glowing Bordis, Nim Nims, Pleasure Vulture, The Tammys 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Amanda Rose 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Thomas Tillman 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Soul Survivo r 9:30 p.m.

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

The Emotron Charlie’s Restaurant & Lounge 8504 Dayton Pike (423) 842-9744 Crane, Of Good Nature 10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Dayshawn 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com The Sullivan Band 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY4.1 “Jazz On the Grass” with Sweet Georgia Sound, The Inman Street Band, Blue Groove, Air National Guard Band of the South, UTC Jazz Band 11 a.m.

Coolidge Park 150 River St jazzanooga.org Matt Downer 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 An Evening in India: The Raghu Dixit Project 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. madpriestcoffee.com Ben Strawn 7 p.m.

Stone Cup Cafe 208 Frazier Ave. stonecupcafe.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Senior’s Dance with The Country Connecting Band 7 p.m.

Teamster’s Union Hall 4431 Bonny Oaks Dr. (423) 893-8983 CSO Pop Series Eileen Ivers 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com The Countrymen Band 8 p.m.

Eagles Club 6130 Airways Blvd.

(423) 894-9940 Taylor & Company 8 p.m.

VFW Post 4848

2402 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 624-6687 Courtney Daly 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com EMOTRON, Genki Genki Panic, Jack Troft 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Gino Fanelli 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Soul Survivor 9:30 p.m.

Charlie’s Restaurant & Lounge 8504 Dayton Pike (423) 842-9744 Tyler Short Show 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Chase Martin 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com The Sullivan Band 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY4.2 Gordy Nichol, Bobby Burns

11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com The Mailboxes 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Jazzanooga Presents: An Evening with Judy Carmichael 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. jazzanooga.org Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

MONDAY4.3 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 23

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

California Guitar Trio puckettsgro.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY4.4 Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com An Evening with Noam Pikelny 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org California Guitar Trio: Celebrating 25 Years of Making Music Together 7:30 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Jams For Julie Benefit 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

24 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

WEDNESDAY4.5 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com No Big Deal 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

The Magnetic Fields 50 Song Memoir, Awa Poulo Poulo Warali

The Magnetic Fields 50 Song Memoir (Nonesuch)

L

ike the Magnetic Fields’ 1999 breakthrough triple-album 69 Love Songs, the new 5-disc album 50 Song Memoir seems to be a feat and a stunt, featuring one song for each year of songwriter Stephin Merritt’s life.

69 Love Songs was a successful attempt to break out of the “indie-rock ghetto,” but the idea for 50 Song Memoir was actually proposed by Nonesuch Records president Robert Hurwitz.

Merritt is a songwriter who has made a point of making nonautobiographical songs, so this is an odd turn—one that did not result in any personal revelations or self-discovery, as he matterof-factly told an NPR interviewer

Awa Poulo Poulo Warali (Awesome Tapes From Africa) recently. This is classic Merritt, who is a fan of playwright Bertolt Brecht’s “Verfremdungseffekt,” or the distancing effect, where the familiar is made strange for the audience; by disengaging an audience emotionally, it strives for a more clinical type of understanding.

That said, emotions can be remembered more vividly than details, to paraphrase the famous Maya Angelou quote. There are strong emotions on 50 Song Memoir, but they are always tempered with another quality.

On “’77 Life Ain’t All Bad,” Merritt sings about his mother’s despicable boyfriend, oozing with

utter hatred, but the chorus is a laughter-inducing sing-along that starts, “Na na na na / Na na na / You’re dead now.” There’s a good deal of heartbreak expressed with Merritt’s beloved use of cliché for emotional shorthand, and on the other hand, Merritt’s joy is often shown through cultural discoveries, from books (Edith Wharton’s Ethan Frome, Isaac Asimov) to lots of music, including disco and John Foxx’s synth-pop.

Back on the topic of making the familiar sound strange, in typical Magnetic Fields fashion, Merritt often prefers making his instruments (of which over one hundred are featured on 50 Song Memoir) sound unusual. His trademarks— wickedly clever lyrics, an embrace of artificiality, immediately hummable pop melodies, Merritt’s astoundingly low and deep voice— are all here, in top form.

Merritt himself admits to making embellishments, in the interview with Daniel Handler (a.k.a.

Lemony Snicket) included in the album’s 100-page booklet; since memories are unreliable, these songs now serve as his indelible history, and Merritt suspects his “entire life is going to disappear into this album.”

Merritt isn’t trying to make sense of the first 50 years of his

life or provide meaning where there is none; the stories are just there, existing in songs. Perhaps the most representative song (and one of the album’s finest), then, is the faux gospel number “’74 No,” where Merritt’s militant atheism and skepticism are comically clear: “Is there a source of wisdom that will see you through?

Will there be peace in our time?

No.”

S

inger and songwriter Awa Poulo, of Peulh origin from southwestern Mali in West Africa, has a diverse array of thoughts and concerns covered in her songs, some of which are relatable for western-world audiences, while other quaint ones— well, not so much.

Take “Poulo Hoto Ngari,” which Poulo states is “a song dedicated to all the people who gave me cows on my last tour.”

Her concern is where she will keep them all.

This reviewer’s exposure to blacksmiths is primarily limited to those at Dollywood, but apparently, good ones should be treasured; that’s the topic of “Noumou Foli,” a song dedicated to the blacksmiths of Mali. But then, there’s a song such as “Mido Yirima” that is relatable for anyone

who’s been in love, about staying true in a relationship despite adversity and naysayers.

Poulo’s music career began when she was chosen to represent her village in a regional music contest, and although Poulo is now known regionally (and her mother’s co-wife is the notable Malian singer Inna Baba Coulibaly), Poulo Warali is her first album to be distributed internationally.

It’s one of those albums that after you hit “play,” you’re immediately drawn in and held within its grip until the album’s done. A rich fabric of sound engulfs the listener, with plucked notes from a hoddu (a lute, also known as the n’goni), a fluid guitar, a swift and delicately drifting flute and nourishing beats from a calabash.

Poulo’s voice is notably precise and deliberate; the nuances of her voice set her apart from amateurs, and although there’s still a folky quality, a good balance is struck so that the delivery is practiced yet not overwrought or too polished.

Even for those of us who don’t own livestock, Poulo Warali is an utterly engrossing, spirited album, marked with tight, woven melodies and Poulo’s striking, exuberant singing.

Follow The Pulse on Facebook (we’re quite likeable) www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 25

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

and cathartic abandon. It will come to you quite naturally—especially if you expand your mind through travel, big ideas, or healthy experiments.

Renewable Energy ROB BREZSNY

The percentage of global energy use that is from renewable sources has increased in the past decade from 15% to 24%, and the rate is steadily increasing?

Why is this important? Because unlike certain politicians who prefer to stick their fingers in the ears when scientists talk to them, the rest of understand the planet is getting warmer.

A recent survey by the U.S. Energy Information Administration found the following: • 43% of Americans were willing to change their behavior to reduce their carbon footprint • 23% were willing to pay more for cleaner energy • 31% prefer to take public transportation to and from work rather than their own vehicle Yet, 16% still felt it wasn't their responsibility to determine how clean the sources of electricity are. But if not us, who will?

It certainly isn't Washington, D.C., in spite of all their hot air.

Source: statisticbrain.com/renewableenergy-statistics

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The dragon that stole your treasure will return it. Tulips and snapdragons will blossom in a field you thought was a wasteland. Gargoyles from the abyss will crawl into view, but then meekly lick your hand and reveal secrets you can really use. The dour troll that guards the bridge to the Next Big Thing will let you pass even though you don’t have the password. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just described is only metaphorically true, not literally.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to legend, Buddha had to face daunting tests to achieve enlightenment. A diabolical adversary tempted him with sensual excesses and assailed him with vortexes of blistering mud, flaming ice, and howling rocks. Happily, Buddha glided into a state of wise calm and triumphed over the mayhem. He converted his nemesis’s vortexes into bouquets of flowers and celestial ointments.

What does this have to do with you?

In accordance with current astrological omens, I hope you will emulate Buddha as you deal with your own initiatory tests. APRIL FOOL! I wasn’t completely honest. It’s true you’ll face initiatory tests that could prod you to a higher level of wisdom. But they’ll most likely come from allies and inner prompts rather than a diabolical adversary.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Since I expect you’ll soon be tempted to indulge in too much debauched fun and riotous release, I’ll offer you a good hangover remedy. Throw these ingredients into a blender, then drink up: a thousand-year-old quail egg from China, seaweed from Antarctica, milk from an Iraqi donkey, lemon juice imported from Kazakhstan, and a dab of Argentinian toothpaste on which the moon has shone for an hour. APRIL FOOL! I deceived you.

You won’t have to get crazy drunk or stoned to enjoy extreme pleasure

26 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Hire a promoter to create gold plaques listing your accomplishments and hang them up in public places. Or pay someone to make a thousand bobble-head dolls in your likeness, each wearing a royal crown, and give them away to everyone you know.

Or enlist a pilot to fly a small plane over a sporting event while trailing a banner that reads, “[Your name] is a gorgeous genius worthy of worshipful reverence.” APRIL FOOL! What I just advised was a distorted interpretation of the cosmic omens. Here’s the truth: The best way to celebrate your surging power is not by reveling in frivolous displays of pride, but rather by making a bold move that will render a fantastic dream ten percent more possible for you to accomplish.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Endangered species: black rhino, Bornean orangutan, hawksbill turtle, South China tiger, Sumatran elephant, and the Leo messiah complex. You may not be able to do much to preserve the first five on that list, but PLEASE get to work on saving the last. It’s time for a massive eruption of your megalomania. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating for effect. There’s no need to go overboard in reclaiming your messiah complex. But please do take strong action to stoke your self-respect, self-esteem, and confidence.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Race through your yoga routine so you have more time to surf the Internet.

Inhale doughnuts and vodka in the car as you race to the health food store. Get into a screaming fight with a loved one about how you desperately need more peace and tenderness. APRIL FOOL! A little bit of selfcontradiction would be cute, but not THAT much. And yet I do worry that you are close to expressing THAT much. The problem may be that you haven’t been giving your inner rebel any high-quality mischief to attend to. As a result, it’s bogged down in trivial insurrections. So please give your inner rebel more important work to do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Research shows that a typical working couple devotes an average of four minutes per day in meaningful conversations.

I suggest you boost that output by at least ten percent. Try to engage your

Homework: Carry out a prank that makes someone feel good. Report results at Truthrooster@gmail.com best companion in four minutes and 24 seconds of intimate talk per day.

APRIL FOOL! I lied. A ten-percent increase isn’t nearly enough. Given the current astrological indicators, you must seek out longer and deeper exchanges with the people you love.

Can you manage 20 minutes per day?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a way, it’s too bad you’re about to lose your mind. The chaos that ensues will be a big chore to clean up. But in another sense, losing your mind may be a lucky development. The process of reassembling it will be entertaining and informative. And as a result, your problems will become more fascinating than usual, and your sins will be especially original. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. You won’t really lose your mind. But this much is true: Your problems will be more fascinating than usual, and your sins will be especially original. That’s a good thing! It may even help you recover a rogue part of your mind that you lost a while back.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You say that some of the healthiest foods don’t taste good? And that some of your pleasurable diversions seem to bother people you care about? You say it’s too much hassle to arrange for a certain adventure that you know would be exciting and meaningful? Here’s what I have to say about all that: Stop whining. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, there will soon be far fewer reasons for you to whine. The discrepancies between what you have to do and what you want to do will at least partially dissolve. So will the gaps between what’s good for you and what feels good, and between what pleases others and what pleases you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You should begin work on a book with one of the following titles, and you should finish writing it no later than April 28: “The Totally Intense Four Weeks of My Life When I Came All the Way Home”…”The Wildly Productive Four Weeks of My Life when I Discovered the Ultimate Secrets of Domestic Bliss”…”The Crazily Meaningful Four Weeks When I Permanently

Anchored Myself in the Nourishing Depths.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. There’s no need to actually write a book like that. But I do hope you seek out and generate experiences that would enable you to write books with those titles.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you were a passenger on a plane full of your favorite celebrities, and the pilot had to make an emergency landing on a remote snowbound mountain, and you had to eat one of the celebrities in order to stay alive until rescuers found you, which celebrity would you want to eat first? APRIL FOOL! That was a really stupid and pointless question. I can’t believe I asked it. I hope you didn’t waste a nanosecond thinking about what your reply might be. Here’s the truth, Aquarius: You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when the single most important thing you can do is ask and answer really good questions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You now have an elevated chance of finding a crumpled one-dollar bill on a sidewalk. There’s also an increased likelihood you’ll get a coupon for a five-percent discount from a carpet shampoo company, or win enough money in the lottery to buy a new sweatshirt. To enhance these possibilities, all you have to do is sit on your ass and wish really hard that good economic luck will come your way. APRIL FOOL! What I just said was kind of true, but also useless.

Here’s more interesting news: The odds are better than average that you’ll score tips on how to improve your finances. You may also be invited to collaborate on a potentially lucrative project, or receive an offer of practical help for a bread-andbutter dilemma. To encourage these outcomes, all you have to do is develop a long-term plan for improved money management.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work.

It’s all in the stars.

COLUMN ∙ BUSINESS BRIEFS

Where Knowledge & Quality Matter The Rug Rack on the Southside features rugs and so much more

By Miriam Thompson Special to The Pulse

I

F YOU’VE BEEN TO THE RUG RACK, you’d assume you know what they have to offer: rugs, home décor, etc. But when you hear they sell mattresses surely you think, “You’re selling what? Mattresses?”

Hard to believe, but yes indeed, the same Rug Rack that has been helping customers place beautiful area rugs from oriental to modern in their homes for 17 years sells mattresses, too.

Selling quality products in the form of area rugs and home décor has been a strict priority for The Rug Rack for nearly two decades, with their mantra being, “Where Knowledge and Quality Matter.”

This makes for a perfect marriage between The Rug Rack & Home Décor and the MLily mattress brand.

Being located on the Southside where residential building is booming has led us to realize a need facing new home owners: a place to purchase foundation bedding, mattresses to be exact, with ease.

Customers will be able to visit our store, test out a mattress, purchase it, and be on their way home in a relatively short period of time—provided stock is available “in house,” just like our area rugs.

If not, then a short wait time of 3-4

Open M-F, 10a-6p, Sat. 10a-4p 301 W. 25th Street (423) 267-7847 www.therugrack.com

days is all that is needed to get the product to the customer. Unlike online purchasing, there will be no guesswork. Having been around the block more than once with customers who had bad experiences with rug purchases online, the same idea of being able to come into our store, lie down on a new, fluffy mattress, and feel the comfort will take the guesswork out of it.

Don’t think of us as an unconventional place to sell mattresses because the store is more upscale than your typical mattress store.

Think of it as a place to go for a quality purchase by knowledgeable people in a trendy “homelike” surrounding.

Much like rolling up a rug and taking it home, the memory foam mattresses will ship to us and the

“Selling quality products in the form of area rugs and home décor has been a strict priority for The Rug Rack for nearly two decades.” customer rolled, contained in plastic, and boxed. Customers will be able load it up and go! We hope it won’t take long to build up our inventory, however as mentioned above the short ship time has become a way of life for most of us.

For those who haven’t shopped

with us and experienced our vast array of offerings, put us on your to-do list and come in and see our area rugs and pillows, small accent furniture, tabletop décor, mattresses, and more.

One can’t deny the value of seeing in person the wonderful colors and qualities of our handknotted rugs, Italian linen custom bedding, unique lamps and now, the softness and coolness of our mattresses.

Our 17 years of preparation and opportunity has brought with it a future as a MLily mattress distributor. Something that we are beyond excited about because it means we will be able to offer more to our Southside neighbors, friends and residents.

As we like to say in the South, “Stop in and say hello.”

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 27

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

28 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES “Indiana Jones: A Day in the Life”

if anyone can get away with it...

ACROSS 1 His treehouse inspired the “Treehouse of Horror” 5 Manufactured 9 First full month of spring 14 “On the Waterfront” director Kazan 15 Musk of Tesla Motors 16 Livelihood 17 Indy gets in his ___ and drives, only to miss a stray blowgun missile ...

19 Arcade coin 20 Pilfer 21 Kremlin denial 23 “You’re not fully clean ...” soap 24 Maya of Vietnam Memorial fame 26 Hindu prince’s title 28 BLT spread 31 Indy turns on his car radio to hear “Wild Wild West” band ___, narrowly avoiding being bludgeoned by a nearby motorist ...

37 ___ Bator (Mongolia’s capital) 38 ___ Wall (“American Ninja Warrior” fixture) 39 Before, to Byron 40 Island nation southeast of Fiji 42 “The Doors” star Kilmer 43 Mirror reflection 45 A billion years 46 Jane who played Daphne on “Frasier” 49 Rehab candidate 50 Indy orders ___ at the restaurant, only to avoid servers flinging meat ... (and why’d it have to be THIS meat?)

52 Health clinic leaflet subjects, for short 53 10th grader, for short 54 Up to this point 56 “Jeopardy!” creator Griffin 59 “The Untouchables” agent Eliot 62 Like hairpin turns 66 Adjust to fit 68 Finally, Indy’s ready to come home, turn on some cartoons, and watch ___, only to avoid his neighbor who won’t stop with the stories ...

70 When hell freezes over

71 Jai ___ (fast-paced game) 72 They’re the top brass 73 Derisive 74 Dome-shaped tent 75 Career honor not accomplished by Lin-Manuel Miranda at this year’s Oscars DOWN 1 Hotel needs 2 In a big way 3 Take the bus 4 Girl Scout Cookie with peanut butter and chocolate 5 Rx order 6 Late “Hannity & Colmes” co-host Colmes 7 Nemo’s successor?

8 Respond in court 9 Part of D.A. 10 Drug in an Elizabeth Wurtzel title 11 Pick up debris, perhaps 12 “Julius Caesar” date 13 Time to give up?

18 Peyton’s brother 22 Finish line, metaphorically 25 Unopened in the box 27 Skywalker, e.g.

28 Shuts the sound off 29 Give it ___ 30 “Live at the Acropolis” keyboardist 32 Fix a bad situation, superhero-style 33 Lust after 34 Superlatively minimal 35 Advised strongly 36 Oktoberfest quaffs 41 Like Charlie Parker’s sax 44 Necessity 47 Sports channel owned by Disney 48 Observatory’s focus 51 Answered an invitation 55 Suffix denoting extremeness 56 “The Wrong ___” (James Corden BBC series) 57 Barbara of “I Dream of Jeannie” 58 Norah Jones’s father 60 “Star Trek” crewman 61 “The Lion King” villain 63 Character retired by Sacha Baron Cohen 64 Forfeited wheels 65 “Hey, over here” 67 “Boyz N the Hood” character 69 Model airplane purchase

Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 825

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 30, 2017 • THE PULSE • 29

COLUMN ∙ ON THE BEAT

Those Lovely Ladies Of The Night Officer Alex explains the symbiotic relationship between cops and hookers

Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

I

T’S LATE MARCH. VALENTINE’S DAY has come and gone, but let’s face it, we’re all still thinking the same thing here: what about the hookers? (I mean, am I right?)

Valentine’s Day was on a Tuesday this year which is great for guys with girlfriends because the pressure of a “Friday” or “Saturday” Valentine’s Day is tremendous. It’s like a third positive pregnancy test or a Saturday afternoon birthday party for your niece or nephew after you’ve accidentally declared to the parent in question “No, I don’t have any plans, why?” There’s no way out and you’re going to be miserable as hell, but a midweek V-Day is a thing of beauty.

Nothing will be overbooked, you can cut out early “for work,” or best of all you can defer it completely due to work (“so we can really enjoy it later baby,”) and then what is an otherwise Class IV Mega-Commitment Holiday can be turned into a run of the mill Friday or Saturday night at the movies/ racetrack/strip club with your girl, but for the average hooker?

It just compounds the misery of being an actual whore since you don’t even have the excuse of it being a weekend to distract yourself with larger crowds to dilute what is already an often miserable life.

I’m a cop. A better part of my career is spent dealing with hookers both directly and indirectly, and at the end of the day they become part of the backdrop of so-

ciety any good copper comes to know.

Allow me to digress: Cops need hookers, actually—and not for the reason that brings to mind.

Intel is the bulk of it; they are called “streetwalkers” for a specific reason and they may not have a grasp of the depth of a thing they see, but see it they do, and that information can be quite literally valuable to the common sex worker.

I mean, a girl that does some fairly unpalatable things for a five-dollar bill has to have other income streams, and a bird’s eye view of the coming and goings of The Street is a definite niche market.

(Particularly if the view is that of a local Christian restaurant owner negotiating alley nookie, or the sighting of a gang member postshooting. I mean, cha-CHING!) With this comes hazards, but with this comes unusual talents as well. I’m not talking about anything involving a ping pong ball or a North American marsupial now, calm yourself. I’m talking about Whore Magic.

It’s a scientific fact that prostitutes have the magical ability to disappear on command. While I’m not sure what the catalyst is or if there’s some kind of a Ho Correspondence Course to attain such—though it seems quite reasonable to assume such in this day of free-flowing college loans—but true courtesan’s have the ability

30 • THE PULSE • MARCH 30, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“A better part of my career is spent dealing with hookers both directly and indirectly, and at the end of the day they become part of the backdrop of society.” to will themselves into a wisp of smoke the instant a roller eases by, no matter how much stealth bacon is in effect. It’s not just uncanny either—it’s downright unsettling.

That said? Skills aside, they are still a demographic emotionally ravaged by the very society that preys upon them, not to mention the memories of dance recital after dance recital missed throughout childhood. The humanity of it all, am I right?

That said, Valentine’s Day has got to be rougher that most when it comes to the Whore Mind, and again…on a Tuesday in particular.

Let’s face it: Richard Gere isn’t going to be picking you up in a Lotus anytime soon, Candy Kane.

Freakshow Mel in an ’86 conversion van during his lunch break

from the rectory? You can bet your low self-esteem ass, but a sequel to Pretty Woman this is not.

Guys, let’s take a deep breath and more than a few seconds to think of these poor pill-addled ladies and avoid them—I mean, AIDS still IS real—but don’t forget them.

(I appreciate you letting me take you on this normally unaccustomed journey into sensitivity, but that’s the beauty of The Pulse—I can let my guard down as quickly as a hooker can deploy her shorts to the passenger floorboard of an ’89 Econoline, and with no worries at all.)

Be well, constituency.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

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