The Pulse 14.15 » April 13, 2017

MERCEDES LLANOS · HAAS KOWERT TICE · ANOTHER EVIL

APRIL 13, 2017

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

A CENTURY OF THAT SOUTHERN S’MORE COOKIE CHATTANOOGA BAKERY CELEBRATES 100 YEARS OF A SINGULAR TREAT

By Daniel Jackson

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VOLUME 14, ISSUE 15 APRIL 13, 2017

CONTENTS 4

CHICKAMAUGA BATTLEFIELD NEEDS OUR HELP

The Battle of Chickamauga was one of the bloodiest and most significant battles in the Western Theater of the U.S. Civil War, occurring in parts of Tennessee and Georgia.

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ANOTHER EVIL IS NOT JUST ANOTHER HORROR FILM

A haunted house story always seems to have the same elements. There’s the initial contact— moving items, rearranged furniture, bumps in the night, etc.

14

THE SOUTH AMERICAN ART OF MERCEDES LLANOS

One of the newest members of the Chattanooga Workspace community, Mercedes Llanos, has just returned from a triumphant adventure in South America.

20

THE INSTRUMENTAL STYLINGS OF HAAS KOWERT TICE

When it comes to music I’ve always been more of a word guy. My old mandolin player Michael Walters and I used to give each other no end of grief because he took the opposite view.

ALSO INSIDE

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A Century Of The MoonPie The first thing you notice when you bite into a MoonPie, made with the new recipe Chattanooga Bakery plans to start using later this year, is the taste of graham. Gone will be the preservatives. Gone, the fructose sweetener. The ingredients will be items you could find in your kitchen.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

5

CONSIDER THIS

24

RECORD REVIEWS

7

SHADES OF GREEN

26

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

13

NEW IN THEATERS

27

BUSINESS BRIEFS

16

ARTS CALENDAR

28

DIVERSIONS

19

DINING OUT

29

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

22

MUSIC CALENDAR

30

SUSHI & BISCUITS

Daniel Jackson is an independent journalist working in the Chattanooga area. He studied Communications at Bryan College and covered national events at the Washington Times. Follow him on Twitter @jcksndnl

Jen Sorensen’s weekly political cartoon appears in alternative newspapers around the country, as well as in magazines and websites such as Ms., The Progressive, and Daily Kos. Jen’s work has won several awards, including the Herblock Prize.

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BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

The Battlefield Needs Our Help Help celebrate National Parks Week by supporting our history

By Michael Wurzel Special to The Pulse

T BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Daniel Jackson Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Mike McJunkin • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Michael Wurzel Editorial Interns Addie Whitlow • Alex Plaumann Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

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Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Brittany Dreon Rick Leavell • Libby Phillips Danielle Swindell • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

HE BATTLE OF CHICKAMAUGA was one of the bloodiest and most significant battles in the Western Theater of the United States Civil War. It occurred in parts of southeastern Tennessee and northwestern Georgia. The National Parks Service preserves these sacred grounds as the Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park. Unfortunately, the park is in need of critical infrastructure repairs to the tune of $50 million.

Following the Battle of Gettysburg, the Battle of Chickamauga saw the most lives lost of any battle in the Civil War. Memorials serve as testimonials to the battle waged on the grounds more than a century and a half ago.

As we mark National Parks Week April 15-23, we pay homage to those sites.

But at the Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park, half of the needed repair costs are for maintenance of monuments and landscaping. The other half would go to roads and trails. It is unfortunate that this land, which witnessed the loss of 34,000 soldiers, would face such a dilemma.

One section of the park preserves the remnants of Paleo-Indians who occupied what is now the Moccasin Bend National Archaeological District. This section of the park has more than $7 million in deferred maintenance, including a work needed on the crumbling shoreline of the Tennessee River.

The National Park Legacy Act of 2017 gives Congress the opportunity to address these critical needs. If passed, it would create the dedicated Legacy Restoration Fund to provide for the most critically needed projects. Money would be allocated to the fund annually, so that it could be drawn on for future needs. It also would provide for public-private matching partnerships.

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“The burden of fundraising has largely fallen onto the Friends, and that’s just not fair to our parks, communities, supporters, or visitors.”

As Executive Director of the Friends of Moccasin Bend, I have seen firsthand how falling and flat budgets negatively affect our National Parks and their visitors. Since Moccasin Bend’s addition to the National Park Service in 2003, there has been little to no federal dollars invested park infrastructure improvements like roads, trails and interpretation. The burden of fundraising has largely fallen onto the Friends, and that’s just not fair to our parks, communities, supporters, or visitors.

This is just one example of the $12.6 billion in needed infrastructure repairs throughout all of our national parks. Inconsistent public funding following the 2008 recession created immense challenges for our National Parks Service. The situation put the maintenance of these diverse and unique places at

risk.

Last year, our national parks experienced a historic number of visitors. That includes more than 1 million visitors to the Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park.

According to the National Parks Service, these visitors generated $63.2 million in spending and created 979 jobs. In total, the historic site has pumped nearly $80 million into the local economy.

Our national park sites have been considered “America’s best idea.” It is only right that we pay homage to our history, our heritage, and to these immaculate landscapes that help to distinguish this great nation.

I hope that Tennessee’s congressional members will help pass the National Park Legacy Act of 2017 and ensure these places for our future generations.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

“Compassion can be put into practice if one recognizes the fact that every human being is a member of the human family, regardless of differences in religion, culture, color and creed. Deep down there is no difference.” — The Dalai Lama

Learning The Rules Of The Road On A Bicycle If you’ve been downtown recently, then you’ve noticed that bike lanes are popping up, and that’s a good thing because bicycle commuting is becoming quite popular in Chattanooga. If you’re interested in learning more about biking on the street, then you’ll want to check out Outdoor Chattanooga’s monthly Bike Commuting 101 class, which will be held this Monday.

The goal of the class is to teach participants smart and safe ways to commute via bicycle, which is why the class will be taught by certified instructors from the League of American Bicyclists.

“We’re just trying to encourage safe

bike commuting [and] learning how to drive your bike in traffic,” said Sunshine Loveless, an employee at Outdoor Chattanooga. “We’re teaching people how to ride their bikes in traffic on the road, not utilizing sidewalks.”

Loveless said they’re trying to change the culture of infrastructure (most city roads are set up primarily for cars) by encouraging more people to commute via bicycle.

She also said she hopes some people will take Bike Commuting 101 as a prerequisite to becoming a League Certified Instructor so they can teach bicycling classes.

After the instructional portion of Bike Commuting 101, participants will go out on the city’s streets to practice what they’ve learned, making Bike Commuting 101 a great way to learn to bike in the city. — Addie Whitlow

On a recent weekend, while happily relaxing on the front porch with my two dogs at my feet, several of my neighbors came outdoors to enjoy the sunshine. My curious little four-year-old rescue, Lily Pad, dashed off the porch like a bullet to be part of the gathering.

As I traipsed after her, barefoot and calling her name, someone scooped her up for me. When I approached we all talked and laughed. Our differing spiritual and political beliefs stepped aside; we were all just people enjoying each other’s company. After ten years of mere passing hellos, neighbors connected, thanks to Lily.

Consider This: The philosopher Rumi said, “Why struggle to open a door between us when the whole wall is an illusion?

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COLUMN ∙ SHADES OF GREEN

How Much Is Enough?

Can socialist Cuba teach capitalist Tennessee a better way of living?

Sandra Kurtz

Pulse columnist

C

UBA AND TENNESSEE ARE ABOUT the same size and shape. I am just back from Camaguey, Cuba, a city of 321,000 in the island’s center. I went to compare our use of natural resources to that of a communist country. What about water, air, energy, wildlife, farming practices, human wellbeing, and climate change?

Camaguey is flat, but to the east there are low mountains, limestone caves, and an impressive tectonic plate crack.

Cubans live in small homes. Wrought iron covered windows and doors allow natural light plus safety. Moveable furniture is easily rearranged for visitors. Sweet espresso coffee is offered. Most have no oven.

For baking or roasting, someone nearby is in that business. Homes may have small outside areas for gardens or chickens or ducks. Cuba has plenty of eggs.

Roads are mostly unpaved. Undeterred by potholes, drivers of bike taxis, horsepulled carts, vegetable wagons, motorcycles, scooters, and cars skillfully avoid obstacles, dogs, and walkers. Each day one hears gentle clip-clops of horses or singing from someone selling wares. The state only pays $10 to $20 per month so many seek additional income. While housewares are expensive, there is free housing, a guaranteed amount of food, and good healthcare for all.

As for flora, picture grassland studded with palm trees plus pine and tropical

plants. Find small deer, bats, birds, rodents, and insects plus reptiles like the 4-foot long iguanas on Iguana Island. Farmers raise cattle for milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat plus hogs, sheep, goats, chickens, horses, and bees. Fish, lobster and shrimp are abundant. The ocean features coral reefs and some very large starfish.

Sugar cane is the cash crop, but rice, black beans, tomatoes, peppers, squash, yucca, pineapple, papaya, avocado, mangoes, oranges, root vegetables, plantains, lettuce and cabbage are grown, as well. There are cigars, rum, coffee, honey and grapes for wine too.

Much land is fallow.

The many Cuban soil types include Georgia-like red clay. Nutrients like potassium and phosphorous magnesium are low. Marabou, a barbed tall bush, impenetrably invades much farmland. Cuba is big on planting trees. It is illegal to cut trees, but strong demand for furniture has caused illegal cutting.

Air quality is good except at street level due to old car emissions and road dust. Still, Cubans burn less gasoline given fewer vehicles and lots of walking and biking. Homes have no heating. Electricity comes primarily from oil, but with low demand, air is less polluted than ours.

Sugar mills usually burn biogas from bagasse. Solar sometimes heats water. An electric heater at the showerhead provides warmish water. Most water is pumped to

Photo by Mira Pavlakovic

“From an environmental perspective, maybe there’s something of value in a less capitalistic, social welfare system.” rooftop tanks for gravity-fed use.

Rivers are filled with sewage. All Cubans either boil their water or filter it before drinking.

Clean water and sea rise are Cuba’s main environmental problems. There is extensive action to slow sea rise due to climate change. Saltwater is overwhelming the mangrove swamps that keep ocean water from invading fresh water and causing desertification.

So after my overview of Cuban resources use in comparison

to ours locally, what have I concluded? The Cubans demonstrate better use of resources per capita primarily because they have less money to spend, their climate enables less use, and they have the basics, i.e. access to good health care, housing, food and water (when clean) plus good education.

They seem less stressed. I saw no homeless, poorly clothed, or painfully thin beggars and their life spans equal ours. What I did observe was community--like Cheers where everyone knows your name.

They shared, bartered, and supported each other often with innovative and creative solutions. They all knew about climate change issues.

From an environmental perspective, maybe there’s something of value in a less capitalistic, social welfare system. Cubans have lessons to teach us.

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. You can visit her website to learn more at enviroedu.net

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COVER STORY

MoonPies: A Century Of That Southern S’more Cookie Chattanooga Bakery celebrates 100 years of a singular treat

By Daniel Jackson Pulse contributor

T

HE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE when you bite into a MoonPie, made with the new recipe Chattanooga Bakery plans to start using later this year, is the taste of graham.

Gone will be the preservatives. Gone, the fructose sweetener. The ingredients will be items you could find in your kitchen cabinets, said Tory Johnston, Chattanooga Bakery’s vice president of marketing.

This is also the recipe the bakery developed 100 years ago, the recipe it used for 70 years before the industry made a transition to baking with preservatives and fructose. Now with consumers seeking clean-eating options, the trend in the baking industry is to swing back to natural ingredients, Johnston said.

It was a cookie developed in 1917 for workingclass Kentucky miners by a small regional bakery in Chattanooga. A hundred years later, it has grown in popularity and left fingerprints of melted chocolate across the South and its cuisine.

On this new and retro MoonPie, the chocolate coating glimmers dark on the mini MoonPie. The pillow of marshmallow in the middle was thicker, more substantial, a fact Johnston attributes to the company’s development of the marshmallow filling.

The graham cracker plays a bigger role in the s’more trio because pure sugar tastes cleaner, Johnston said. It’s subtle, Johnston said, but fructose is slightly bitter and that masks the taste of graham.

When the company tested the retro recipe, those who sampled “universally prefer the taste” of it, Johnston said.

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Oddly enough, even though Chattanooga Bakery is stripping preservatives from its recipe, the shelf life of the product remains unchanged at 120 days.

“That’s the way the product naturally ages,” Johnston said. The chocolate encapsulating graham and marshmallow helps preserve the sandwich pie.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN As Johnston tells it, the birth of the MoonPie began with a fateful conversation with a working-class man and the rest, as they say, is history. During the beginning years of the 20th century, Chattanooga

Bakery cooked up dozens of cookie varieties under its Lookout brand in the northern part of Chattanooga’s southside, next to the railroad tracks on King Street. It was one of many regional bakeries across the nation whipping up its version of animal crackers, ginger snaps and oyster crackers. Business was not good, however.

Earl Mitchell, the sales manager for the company (which is the position Johnston fills today) was out on a sales call and a grocer in Kentucky had just told him that the products weren’t popular, weren’t selling.

COVER STORY

Outside, Mitchell struck up a conversation with a group of miners. What did they like? Chocolate was good. Also, it had to be big. It was a long way down into the mines and there were no stores down there to buy something for a quick jolt of energy.

One earth-bound miner looked to the sky, saw the freshly risen moon, and told Mitchel to make the pie as big as that, something hearty to fit into lunch boxes.

When Mitchell returned to Chattanooga, he saw one bakery worker eating lunch, dipping the company’s graham cracker into marshmallow. The MoonPie was born.

Today, MoonPie production is automated and faster. Old pictures of the Chattanooga Bakery line show literal lines of workers— many of them women—whose job was to assemble the cookies as they rode the conveyor, flipping tops and placing them on the bottoms covered in marshmallow.

In the 50s and 60s, when the MoonPie rode to a national prominence thanks to the rise of the supermarket, Chattanooga workers were still hand applying the cookies. It was during that time when Chattanooga Bakery switched to manufacturing only MoonPies.

Those tasks are now given to wrapping machines, depositors that put the marshmallow on the cookie, and packaging robots.

“One earth-bound miner looked to the sky, saw the freshly risen moon, and told Mitchel to make the pie as big as that, something hearty to fit into lunch boxes.”

100 YEARS OF STORIES The company is doing a lot for its 100-year anniversary, Johnston said. The first is commemorative packaging. The boxes will be the same color as the American flag, and a seal that’s grey with the words “One company, one family, one brand, countless happy memories.”

In essence, the Chattanooga Bakery operates a simple business.

The fifth-generation, family-owned company made its fortune on the one kind of snack, one brand that capitalizes on retro-Americana, Johnston said. That’s the snack itself, and the licensing that comes with it. “We can’t mess this one up.

We have nothing to fall back on,” Johnston said.

A display case at the entrance

to the Chattanooga Bakery headquarters shows a sampling of MoonPie products: baseball caps, a MoonPie insulated can holder, two books on the history of MoonPies. For $40, you too can own a MoonPie tie.

In addition to commemorative packaging, Chattanooga Bakery will issue a series of collectable items for its centennial, like a handful of collectable tins, in retro packaging, that will retail for about $10. The company partnered with model train manufacturer Lionel to create a MoonPie boxcar.

On the kickoff weekend of the Chattanooga Market April 29 and 30, Chattanooga Bakery will celebrate the 100-year anniversary of the MoonPie, a birthday party if you will. But the most public event

MoonPie will do is hold a MoonPie Memories contest for people to tell the best MoonPie story.

There will be tough competition.

Every year, the company receives about 200 requests to provide MoonPies for people’s weddings, such as a MoonPie grooms cake, or favors for the guests.

“Because when you say ‘MoonPie,’ typically two things happen,” Johnston said.

“First thing, is you get a smile and secondly, you get a story.”

And the grand prize for such a yarn? The winner will receive a 100-year supply of the snack—quite the story itself.

SNACK OF THE SOUTH David Magee—who wrote the book on MoonPies—is a self-admitted MoonPie addict. He says so himself in his book: “MoonPie: Biography of an Out-of-ThisWorld Snack.” The former columnist for the Chattanooga Times Free Press now works as publisher of The Oxford Eagle in Mississippi. He wrote several business books, books on Nissan Toyota, but his book about the MoonPie is his favorite.

He has memories of eating MoonPies with his grandfather at an old-time country story and reaching for the snack to fuel trips to various Mississippi fishing holes while he continued on page 10

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COVER STORY

was a teenager. These days, the mini banana MoonPies sing a particularly strong siren song for Magee. “They’re good in moderation,” he said.

And while the cookie has an emotional connection for many people, it’s more than that, Magee said. “This little snack tells so much about the emerging South.”

There are not as many mining jobs these days. However, “The workingclass American had a lot to do with the MoonPie in every level,” Magee said.

It was first eaten by lower-to-middle class southerners. As they grew in wealth, the cookie followed them.

When millions of black southerners moved north to escape Jim Crowism and to find work in places like Detroit, “The MoonPie went along for the ride,” Magee said.

When American workers turned to vending machines for the source of their snacking in the 60s and 70s, Chattanooga Bakery developed the Double-Decker MoonPie to fit vending machines in 1964. Walmart, which started stocking MoonPies, helped bring the snack national.

Magee, a former business writer, sees several business lessons from the 100-years of MoonPies. Number one? “Be good at something,” he 10 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

said. Specialize. Many people can be jack of all trades. Fewer can be the master of one. The second lesson he sees is patience. “We want to make the new MoonPie overnight,” Magee said. Instead, that development, refinement and brand recognition takes time to establish. The third lesson is a lesson in family ownership and the quality that it brings. The MoonPie wouldn’t have the same nostalgia if the Campbell family sold the snack to a larger baking company, or an investment company, Magee said.

Over the years, the Campbell family has made the MoonPie line something unique. There’s only one factory that makes MoonPie, Magee said, and over the years the Campbell family has custom built its own factory equipment, mechanisms that are only found in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

For example, the way the factory flips the cookies on the marshmallow-top cookie.

SIMPLER TIMES OF THE MOONPIE Today, two groups primarily buy MoonPies, Johnston said. The first is families with kids—Mothers buying up snacks and desserts for her kids ages 6 to 16. The second is men 35 to 54.

The demographics buy different packaging. The mom, boxes. When

COVER STORY mothers buy the snack, she’s thinking of picking up some kind of sweet baked good.

The man, he’s more likely to dig into his pocket for a dollar or two to buy a MoonPie at a convenience store. They’re individually wrapped, and he’s most likely a southern, working-class male who is convinced to buy because of the MoonPie’s double-dose of value and nostalgia.

MoonPies, Johnston said, are impulse buys. “We don’t make the shopping list,” he said. Price and availability are everything in this business. The local Food City, for example, sells a Double Decker MoonPie, with a hefty 300 calories for a mere 50 cents.

When it comes to taste, MoonPie’s flavor profile—s’mores—“is just red hot,” Johnston said. For example, last August, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America announced it was adding the Girl Scout S’more cookie to its 2017 lineup of Tagalongs, Thin Mints and Samoas. Accord-

“We unofficially call ourselves the original s’more,” Johnston said. At least, he said, MoonPies are the first mass produced s’more-flavored snack. ing to the announcement, the Girl Scouts published the recipe for the campfire treat in 1925—one of the first to do so.

“We unofficially call ourselves the original s’more,” Johnston said. At least, he said, MoonPies are the first mass produced s’more-flavored snack.

But why do MoonPies matter today? “I think simpler times really matter,” Johnston said, adding this world comes at you fast, is “overprogrammed” and overwhelms

with its complexity. Looking back 20, 30 years ago, “there was a lot right, the way things were then,” Johnston said.

In the future, the brand has to stay true to who it is, Johnston said. It can’t veer into the cute.

Since the 50s and 60s, Chattanooga Bakery was never as big as the “huge cookie conglomerates,” Johnston said. There was always bigger fish in the pond. Eventually, power brands emerged but Chattanooga Bakery persists as a

“challenger brand,” Johnston said.

Currently, the Chattanooga Bakery is doing well. 2016 was the best year in the company’s history, Johnston said. There are a lot of things going for it: the name, the quality, the taste profile and the story.

Among those things, nostalgia is a powerful motivator.

Over the past few years, MoonPie has tried out variations: Different packaging, different flavors, different cookies types.

Even mini MoonPies are only 15 years old.

Recently, Chattanooga Bakery collaborated with North Star Frozen Treats to make a MoonPie ice cream sandwich.

“We’re going to stay close to the core.

People have a pretty literal understanding to what a MoonPie is. We can’t stray too far.”

For Johnston, MoonPies is a southern, unassuming brand which has stood the test of time. “It’s just so simple, it’s endured,” he said.

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FILM & TELEVISION

Another Evil Is Not Just Another Horror Film Carson Mell supersedes the haunted house genre

RiffTrax Live Takes On Samurai Cop The Samurai Cop is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and he’s already infringed on enough movies and clichés so he’s just going to stop with that introduction right there.

Yes, the cop they call Samurai has travelled to Los Angeles from a faraway land they call San Diego. Because it would just make no sense to have the movie take place in San Diego, or to have the cop be from LA to start with.

Or, y’know, Japan.

Why do they need the Samurai Cop in town? Because frankly, the chief was telling everybody how absurd his haircut was, and nobody would believe him, so he said “Look, I’ll have him come to town and you can see this damn thing for yourselves.” It is a work of art. If it seems like there’s a serious threat at any point in time, it’s going to leap off his head and start kicking ass on its own.

Decapitations, explosions, poorly subbed in stunt doubles, mangled dialogue, prominent lion heads, and unfortunate banana hammocks abound in this extremely eighties-y nineties movie.

Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Alfonso Rafael Federico Sebastian for the RiffTraxx Live skewering of Samurai Cop this Thursday night (and an encore next Tuesday) at Carmike's East Ridge 18 at 8 p.m.

RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop Thursday, 8 p.m.

Carmike's East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 www.rifftrax.com 12 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

A

HAUNTED HOUSE STORY ALWAYS seems to have the same elements. There’s the initial contact—moving items, rearranged furniture, bumps in the night, etc. There’s the escalation—true hauntings happen here, with ghostly attacks, jump scares, visions of evil in the dark. There’s the investigation—it always seems that paranormal investigators are just a phone call away and they always find the root of the problem immediately. Then, there’s the exorcism, where special effects are ratcheted up and the film climaxes in a terrifying ghost encounter.

We love stories that follow a familiar pattern and

ghost stories are no different. It takes a talented writer to take these elements and shape them into something new yet familiar, a story that appeals to fans of the genre in a way that supersedes the pattern and creates something special.

Another Evil is a twist on this common tale, one that is surprisingly funny and clever. Written and directed by Carson Mell, known for his writing on HBO’s Silicon Valley and his own animated series Tarantula, Another Evil is a film for anyone that loves a good ghost story, but wishes that they were a little funnier.

Dan (Steve Zissis) is an artist in L.A. who made his name and fortune painting black dots on backed by a variety of colors. His dot paintings have earned him enough money to own a cabin

FILM & TELEVISION

“It takes a talented writer to take these elements and shape them into something new yet familiar, a story that appeals to fans of the genre.” in the mountains away from the city, where he does most of his work and his family spends their weekends.

To his great surprise, Dan discovers that his vacation home is inhabited by the bloody and unsettling ghosts of an older couple.

Naturally, as these stories go, he and his wife Mary seek the services of a paranormal investigator named Joey Lee (Dan Bakkedahl).

Joey informs them that the ghosts they have are a harmless natural phenomenon, not unlike the aurora borealis. The scary encounters were just the ghosts trying to establish contact in a nonthreatening way.

Dan still feels threatened.

After talking to a business partner, Dan is given another name: Os (Mark Proksh), a self-described “industrial

grade” demon hunter who does not see the ghosts are harmless, but a very real threat and an encroachment on the territory of the living.

Dan invites Os up to the house for the week where they settle for a long ghost busting session.

Before the screening of Another Evil at the Chattanooga Film Festival, the film was described as What About Bob with ghosts. This feels pretty accurate. Os is clearly not playing with a full deck, largely due to his barely functional alcoholism and recent divorce (his wife couldn’t take one more cat in the house). He has long winded tales of his past, one of which is a particularly disturbing tale of the time he was seduced by the devil.

Over the course of the film, Os confesses that he doesn’t ever know if what he is doing will work, lending credence to the idea that even in a universe where ghosts exist, ghost busting is still, to borrow a term from a Tennessee legislator,

hogwash. It’s interesting to see a ghost story that focuses on inept experts on the supernatural, particularly one with such distressing habits.

Despite its comic tone, Another Evil still manages to scare the audience, albeit in a way that has nothing to do with the supernatural. The writing resisted the temptation to make Os seem over-the-top crazy. He’s mostly endearing despite his apparent neediness. This characterization makes the film that much more terrifying when it reaches its conclusion.

Another Evil has a release date of May 5th, but still needs to find a home before it can be distributed. It certainly deserves one. There is without a doubt an audience for this type of film, whether it’s a wide release or an on-demand gem to be discovered late at night.

Its showing at the CFF was smaller than it deserved—too much competition to stand out in such a stacked event. But for those that saw it, Another Evil was no doubt a highlight of the weekend. Films like it are the reason Chattanooga needs a film festival. There’s simply nowhere else around to see a film this good.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

The Fate of the Furious When a mysterious woman seduces Dom into the world of terrorism and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew face trials that will test them as never before.

Director: F. Gary Gray Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Charlize Theron, Scott Eastwood, Vin Diesel

Spark: A Space Tail Spark, a teenage monkey and his friends, Chunk and Vix, are on a mission to regain Planet Bana - a kingdom overtaken by the evil overlord Zhong.

Director: Aaron Woodley Stars: Susan Sarandon, Jessica Biel, Patrick Stewart

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The South American Art Of Mercedes Llanos Workspace welcomes their newest resident artist

The Tough Tale Of All My Sons All My Sons is a deeply realistic portrayal of the American family, which will be performed by the Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga (ETC). All My Sons is a play written by Arthur Miller, a playwright who is known for his portrayals of grief stricken American families.

This is a tough, but worthy play to tackle for ETC. All My Sons will be playing at 7:30 p.m. this Thursday and Friday, with the final two performances on Sunday at 2:30 and 7:30 p.m.

Set in 1947, the Keller family has to deal with the backlash of profiting on faulty engine parts during WWII. These faulty engine parts caused the death of 21 pilots, and in this play we will see how the family deals with this backlash and the many other situations that come their way. Can the mother Kate Keller keep her sanity? Will the missing Keller son be found?

All My Sons is a brilliantly written play, and will be an enjoyable experience to watch the performances by ETC to see how everything unfolds for the Keller Family.

The play will be directed by Gary Lee Posey, and the stage is being managed by Eric “Red” Wyatt. General admission tickets are $15, and student tickets are $10.

— Alex Plaumann All My Sons Thu-Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sun 2:30 & 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com 14 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Tony Mraz

Pulse contributor

O

NE OF THE NEWEST MEMBERS OF the Chattanooga Workspace community, Mercedes Llanos, has just returned from a triumphant adventure in South America.

After visiting her hometown of Mar De Plata, winning a design contest, and painting some murals, she embarked on a journey through Argentina, Patagonia, Chile, and Peru.

With her paintings and drawings stored in tubes on her back, she walked through the jungles and hitch hiked, creating incredible art as she traveled.

Mercedes draws and paints with a soulful introspection that seeks to visualize the intangible. She

has been drawing for her whole life, for as long as she can remember. Growing up, she drew on the walls of her house, with chalk on the streets, on tables, and anywhere else she could.

She has always loved art, and believes that it is a very intuitive action. She went to college to study graphic design, but found in her courses that the process of painting felt more natural to her.

Her professors and everybody told her, “You’re a painter.”

She graduated from UTC with a BFA in painting and drawing, and started her first major project working on the AT&T building mural on MLK Blvd. with Hollie Berry. She has always been interested in painting large, using her whole body to make marks. She was chosen to be one of 6 people who

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“She had the opportunity to live in a small village, as an artist-inresidence. Living simply, swimming in the river every day, and being immersed in nature, she found her passion for painting. ” worked on the monumental mural for 6 months.

With the money from that job, she went back to her home country of Argentina, which is where her adventure started. She painted a mural by the ocean, won a design contest, and then headed north.

When she arrived in Peru, she had the opportunity to live in a small village, as an artist-in-residence. Living simply, swimming in the river every day, and being immersed in nature, she found her passion for painting.

“I learned a new perspective on happiness, and what we need,” she explains.

“When I was in Peru in the jungle, there was almost nothing. Not even running water. We were in little mud houses with mosquito nets.

There were no streets, and people didn’t wear shoes. There was no internet, no phone service. This is where I started to get into the idea of this energy that we carry. Coming back to Chattanooga, arriving in Atlanta, I saw that people don’t need all of this. So many things, so many cars, so much stuff that they don’t need. People think they need it, but they don’t.”

Her work speaks of this simplicity, and has the tranquil feel of a beautiful day by a river in the rainforest.

Back in her studio here in Chattanooga, Mercedes is making a lot of paintings about inter-relations between people, about things which we cannot see. Her work is less about telling a story, and more about evoking an abstract feeling.

“When I’m painting, I think of not thinking,” she says. “I try to lose my head. To forget my mind. To get into a state in which it’s so intuitive that I become a vehicle of creation.

Instead of me thinking what I’m doing, I am transferring some sort of out-of-this world energy.

I have never been spiritual, but I am becoming spiritual through my art. It is my way of believing that there is more. There are things we hold on to, memories that we don’t know of, that we are always carrying with us, things that we are not aware of.

Sometimes through painting, you can let it out, without knowing what it is.”

She is currently applying for grants to create some new murals for Chattanooga. She has a strong vision of what murals could be, thinking of them as a means to share thoughts and emotions with abstract images.

She wants to bring fine art to the street.

“There is so much that words are not capable of saying,” notes Mercedes. “Each one of us has different energy. Traveling is amazing, but I really want to focus on these things that are inside, to let it all come out.

Each person has a different energy. When I paint more than one person in a painting, it’s more about the space and energy connecting the people than the actual people. We all share something.”

THU4.13 The Chattery Third Anniversary Bash

The nonprofit learning collective is celebrating three years of classes.

5:30 p.m.

Dish-T-Pass 302 W. 6th St. (423) 309-5353 dishtpass.com

FRI4.14 The BFG

The beloved children’s book

by Roald Dahl, and future summer blockbuster film, is also an inventive play.

7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com

SAT4.15 Ooltewah BBQ Brawl

It's the biggest day in Ooltewah history, with two winners going to the World Food Championships!

11 a.m.

Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesqauretn.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Fairytale Nights

THURSDAY4.13 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com The Chattery Third Anniversary Bash 5:30 p.m.

Dish-T-Pass 302 W. 6th St. (423) 309-5353 dishtpass.com Wine on the Bluff 5:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 752-0300 uwchatt.org Art + Issues: Coming to America 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Catoosa Famer’s Market Interest Meeting 6 p.m.

Catoosa County Parks and Recreation 749 Pine Grove Rd. (706) 891-4199 catoosarec.com

16 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Joe Lowers 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop 8 p.m.

Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com

FRIDAY4.14 Hug a Bunny 9 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Artful Yoga: Facing Darkness to Find Light Within 1:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Cambridge Square Night Market 5 p.m.

Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesqauretn.com

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Joe Lowers has been entertaining audiences for over twenty years with his ability to involve the audience and go with the vibe of the room. No "knock knock" jokes.

Joe Lowers The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Yoga on the Square 6:30 p.m.

Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesqauretn.com The BFG 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com All My Sons 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Joe Lowers 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com

SATURDAY4.15 Locomotion 12 & 6 7:30 a.m.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Hug A Bunny Camp Jordan 323 Camp Jordan Pwky.

(423) 842-6265 chattanoogatrackclub.org Hug A Bunny 9 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Chattanooga River Market Yoga 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Chickamauga Turn 10 a.m.

Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Ooltewah BBQ Brawl 11 a.m.

Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754

cambridgesqauretn.com Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 The BFG 2:30, 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com All My Sons 2:30, 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Live Pro Boxing: Boxing in the Ballroom 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1 Carter Plz. (678) 554-7697 chattanoogaboxing.net Joe Lowers 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SUNDAY4.16

Easter Brunch at The Chattanoogan Hotel 10 a.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com Free Egg Hunt and Family Photo 10:45 a.m.

South Seminole Baptist Church 1201 S. Seminole Dr. (423) 698-2782 southseminole.com Easter Brunch 11 a.m.

Back Inn Café 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Free Fiddle School 2 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Fairytale Nights 6 p.m.

Rock City (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Joe Lowers 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY4.17 Red Bank Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804 Chattanooga Lookouts Vs. Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

TUESDAY4.18 Senior Thesis Exhibitions “Show Two” 6 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Collecting Art On a Budget 6 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Cooking Demonstration: Capsule Cooking 6 p.m.

Earth Fare Hixson 5414 Hixson Pike (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org String Theory: Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center on Tour 6:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 17

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Riverdance: The 20th Anniversary Tour stringtheorymusic.org Chattanooga Lookouts Vs. Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Oklahoma 7:30 p.m.

Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 RiffTrax Live: Samurai Cop 7:30 p.m.

Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 Riverdance: The 20th Anniversary Tour 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 tivolichattanooga.com

WEDNESDAY4.19 Profit and Production On Small Acreage 9 a.m.

University of Tennessee Extension 6183 Adamson Cir. (423) 855-6113 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270

18 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger East 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger East Hospital 1751 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Unbought & Unbossed 11:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1 Carter Plz. (423) 756-0001 Main Street Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Lookouts Vs. Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 Oklahoma 7:30 p.m.

Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 Riverdance: The 20th Anniversary Tour 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5580 tivolichattanooga.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

FOOD & DRINK ∙ DINING OUT

The Camp House Great coffee, fantastic food, and some of the best live music downtown

By Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

Living in Chattanooga, there are what seems like a million and one options for a place to eat breakfast or lunch, or grab a cup of coffee, but there’s only one place that serves delectable Belgian waffles coated in yogurt, house-made granola, seasonal fruit, and drizzled with date and honey syrup all day.

The Camp House, in their chicly sophisticated warehouse-style space, is the coolest of cool places to meet up with friends, coworkers, and collaborators for a latte, breakfast, lunch, or Saturday brunch.

With a smooth, New York cafe feel, the Camp House is the perfect place to relax with your laptop, free Wi-Fi, and a cup of coffee. Lose yourself in the cool atmosphere, take a seat on one of the couches by the floor-to-ceiling windows, and find your new study spot or private workplace downtown you’ve been looking for.

If you missed the memo above, the Camp House serves their entire breakfast menu all day, with the lunch menu available starting at 11 a,m. Indulge in the aforementioned Camp House Waffle, a wide variety of “egg breakfasts”, quiches, stuffed biscuits, and more from open to close—something few breakfast eateries in town offer.

No breakfast is complete without a steaming hot cup of joe, and no one makes it like the Camp House. Try one of their best-selling lattes with options like house-

The Camp House Open M-F, 7a-6p, Sat. 8a-3p 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 www.thecamphouse.com

made vanilla, Ghirardelli caramel, or chocolate to fit your personal tastes. Substitute almond or soy milk in your latte, or stick with a simple Americano or espresso.

For a slower-steeped coffee, ask for the manual brew bar, which rotates its selection seasonally, to prepare a pour over for you to extract the most flavorful cup. They’re currently featuring an Ethiopian blend with fruity, aromatic tones to perk you up no matter the time of day. A variety of teas are available as well, hot or iced. Herbal, green, chai or black, you’ll surely find one that suits your fancy.

If it’s lunchtime, stop by for the soup du jour—which may be a tomato bisque or a warm chowder if it’s a rainy day—a salad, or one of their many sandwiches. The favorite sandwich is a tie between the salmon BLT—cured salmon, cream cheese, capers, roasted tomato, smoked bacon, and arugula on rye—and the prosciutto panini, filled with thin-sliced prosciutto, avocado, smoked gouda, mayo, and arugula on a baguette. Try and take your pick, but know that it won’t be easy.

Weekends are meant for brunching, and the Camp House’s brunch menu features a few options not available on the weekday breakfast menu. For one, they have more waffle options, including a Brunch Waffle covered in bananas, brown sugar banana syrup, and toasted pecans… close your mouth, quit your drooling, and just

“With a smooth, New York cafe feel, the Camp House is the perfect place to relax with your laptop, free Wi-Fi, and a cup of coffee.” plan to stop by this Saturday to satiate your newly acquired thirst for waffles. Beyond the extra waffles, they also serve sweet potato hash and biscuits and gravy.

Recently the Camp House changed their closing time to 5pm,

and people have surely been wondering why. After 5pm, the Camp House plays host to concerts, public forums, and other public events alongside private receptions as well.

The Camp House’s space is available for wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners, and other privately hosted events. They are also closed on Sundays as they share the space with a local church to worship. No judgements here, just happy individuals doing their part to make Chattanooga a better place to gather.

They’re so much more than a coffee shop. They’re a place to meet, collaborate, and gather over great food and drink.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19

MUSIC

The Instrumental Stylings Of Haas Kowert Tice Talented trio melds Scandanavian music with a mix of California, Maryland and Wisconsin Americana Clyde Stubblefield

JAM Fest Honors Icon Clyde Stubblefield Jazzanooga’s JAM Fest 2017, which is a celebration in honor of Jazz Appreciation Month, has been paying musical tribute to a variety of artists who influenced the art of jazz. This Friday’s celebration will be no exception as it will honor the late Clyde Stubblefield, who pioneered the art of jazz percussion.

Stubblefield, a self-taught percussionist who grew up right here in Chattanooga and has been dubbed “the most sampled drummer in the industry,” was known primarily for his collaboration with James Brown. Stubblefield’s most well-known jam was recorded on Brown’s Funky Drummer and has been sampled time and time again, by artists such as LL Cool J, George Michael, and Kenny G., to name a few.

Although Stubblefield passed away in February, his legacy will certainly live on, and Jazzanooga will be honoring him through JAM Fest 2017: Icon. The celebration will include drum performances by Darrell Kelly, Johnny E. Smith, Yattie Westfield, and Jonathan Susman. There will also be a house band, directed by David Anthony, and vocals by The Creative Underground.

In addition to musical performances, there will also be a cash bar, and all proceeds raised will benefit Jazzanooga’s Youth Music Education initiatives.

There is arguably no better way to celebrate Stubblefield’s life than right here in the place where his talent got its start, making Friday’s JAM Fest an unforgettable night. — Addie Whitlow JAM Fest 2017: ICON (Tribute to Clyde Stubblefield) Friday, 7 p.m.

Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 402-0452 · jazzanooga.org 20 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Photo by Constance Brinkley

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

W

HEN IT COMES TO MUSIC I’VE ALways been more of a word guy. My old mandolin player Michael Walters and I used to give each other no end of grief because he took the opposite view. A song with dumb lyrics but good music would spark his interest while a song with questionable music but clever lyrics would pique mine.

As it turns out, this was ideal for us since it gave us the opportunity to either re-write better music or lyrics depending on the need. It’s a good balance to have.

That being said, my appreciation for words should in no way imply that I have no love for

instrumental music. My personal collection says otherwise, but when it comes to the music I write about each week, purely instrumental music is rare and there’s a very good reason.

When ninety plus percent of performers adhere to the music/lyrics dichotomy, specializing in one or the other (instrumental tunes or spoken word poetry) means you had best have some serious chops. You’re pulling all the weight with half the horses. In a word, pulling off instrumental music well is a hell of a lot harder than penning a catchy tune with some clever words.

When it works it is a thing of rare beauty and the Haas Kowert Tice trio has mastered the art.

Fiddler Brittany Hass (Crooked Still,) bassist Paul Kowert (Punch Brothers,) and guitarist Jordan Tice (Tony Trischka) are the perfect storm of talent. In a

MUSIC

Chattaboogie Sessions With Warner MC

“When ninety plus percent of performers adhere to the music/lyrics dichotomy, specializing in one or the other means you had best have some serious chops.” typical ensemble, however talented the players are, one generally emerges as the showcase player, but in Hass Kowert Tice the skill of each player is perfectly matched by the other two. There is no dominant force but rather a perfect synergy of all three instruments that, in my experience anyway, is exceedingly rare.

The trio has released their debut album, You Got This, and it is nine tracks of ear candy so original, so perfectly plotted and played, that there simply is no one else to compare them to.

“Grandpa’s Cheese Barn” is the first track I listened to, and before it was half over I was sharing it with some of my close friends with the admonition, “You have got to hear this!”

It was a tricky tune to deconstruct.

There were certainly familiar elements but I couldn’t quite place them until I sat down and read Tice’s own description which lists alternate banjo tunings, Norwegian dance tunes, driving folk rhythms, and Debussy-esque string arrangements.

It was, for me, an “aha!”moment, as in, “well of course that’s what I’m hearing,” yet left to my own, I don’t know

that I could have ever cracked the code.

Granted, my experience with Scandinavian music is more focused on Swedish werewolf song(s), but the point is that the elements, all familiar in their way, are blended in to something so unique that taking it back apart again is damn near impossible, a perfect fusion.

As instantly in love as I was with “Grandpa’s Cheesebarn,” “The Switchback Games” has got to be the standout track on this flawless album. I can find no better way to describe it than “acoustic prog rock.” Dynamic and fluid, the tune is worthy of Rush, Yes, Fairport Convention, Tull…and yet while it could easily stand shoulder to shoulder with those legends, it doesn’t sound particularly like any of them. I do not say this lightly, but this trio has created something entirely knew and this song is breathtaking.

I could spend another thousand words talking about the band and their album, “You Got This,” and still not cover half the points that deserve attention so I urge you to seek them out online at hasskowertice.com and sample the album for yourself.

Do it soon, the band is coming to Barking Legs on May 11th and once word gets out, it will be a sold out show.

Good news everybody!

Filmmaker/videographer/ music lover Rob Wellborn, after a great deal of determination, hard work and setbacks, has announced that Chattaboogie Sessions has now passed the fledgling stage into a full-blown, sustainable ongoing series.

The project is an episodic collection of short subject documentaries showcasing musicians from the Chattanooga scene.

Three episodes are already “in the can” with the latest featuring the incomparable Warner MC (Microdahts/Mdahts) discussing his solo career, poetry, new music and ongoing “beef” with the local ne’er-do-well Eroc whose personal successes Warner credits to his own writing skills.

A mix of interviews and live performance, Chattaboogie Sessions fills an important niche in the local music scene and indeed, is a barometer of the health and ongoing advancement of same said scene.

Warner is, as always, both humble and humorous, and a consummate performer.

Wellborn directs with a light touch, basically allowing his subject a degree of freedom of expression normally missing from interviews.

The production and direction are very high quality and the artists (in the case Warner MC, there is also a debut episode currently available featuring a number of other local favorites) are skilled and entertaining. Find Chattaboogie Sessions on Facebook for links to current episodes or visit YouYube and search for Chattaboogie Sessions-Warner MC-Full Episode. — Marc T. Michael

THU4.13

FRI4.14

SAT4.15

Colony House

Megan Saunders and The Driftless

The Scarlet Love Conspiracy

Named after a Franklin, TN apartment building, this indie-rock foursome is making a name for themselves as a live act.

8 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.com

You've read about Megan in these very pages before, now come see why she's one of our favorites.

9 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com

One of the hardest working bands on the local scene, and also one of the most talented.

9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Genki Genki Panic

THURSDAY4.13 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m.

Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Forever Bluegrass 6 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Colony House, Knox Hamilton 8 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.com Golden Pelicans, Those Lavender Whales 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

22 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

FRIDAY4.14 Papa Sway 5 p.m.

Underdogs Bar & Grill 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 Sabrina Murdaugh 6 p.m.

Cambridge Square Market 9453 Bradmore Ln. chattanoogamarket.com JAM Fest 2017: ICON 7 p.m.

Waterhouse Pavilion 850 Market St.

jazzanooga.org Coach N' Commando, Genki Genki Panic, The Compartmentalizationalists 8 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. mayosbarandgrill.com Alex Griffith 8 p.m.

The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 thecasualpint.com Tim Starnes & Company 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Dalchast, Illiterate Night, Mailboxes 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

PULSE MUSIC SPOTLIGHT Drawing on her gospel roots, Sabrina Murdaugh injects a soul-filled explosion into guitar driven melodies, emotive lyrics, and one amazing voice.

Sabrina Murdaugh Friday, 6 p.m.

Cambridge Square Market 9453 Bradmore Ln. chattanoogamarket.com

Rumours 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Courtney Daly & The Daly Grind 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Megan Saunders and The Driftless 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Kenton Bryant 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com One Night Stand 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY4.15 Josh Gilbert 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Home Free 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Watermelon Wine 8 p.m.

Charles and Myrtle’s

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

New Madrid Christ Unity Church 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org New Madrid 8 p.m.

Wayne-O-Rama 1800 Rossville Ave. wayneorama.com The Simp Gatsby + Friends 8 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Tim Starnes & Company 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Over Easy, Caney Village, Sunsap 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Midnight Promise 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Shawnessey Cargile 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com The Velcro Pygmies 9:30 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Kara-Ory-Oke! 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St.

citycafemenu.com Kenton Bryant 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com One Night Stand 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Joey Ramone Day Party 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

SUNDAY4.16 Jack Endelouz & Rye Baby 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Kyle Nachtigal 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

MONDAY4.17 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Open Mic – Live Art 7 p.m.

Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY4.18 Chamber Music Society of the Lincoln Center 6:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. chambermusicsociety.org Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Turkuaz with Organ Freeman 8 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern

1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Trashbin Souvenirs release party w/ wohglemut, The Menace from Earth, Sam Killed the Bear 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY4.19 No Big Deal 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Tim Starnes 7 p.m.

The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 thecasualpint.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Jazz in the Lounge 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 23

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Various Artists Triptych Vol. 1, 2 & 3, Mokooma Luyando

Various Artists Triptych Vol. 1, 2 & 3 (Love Thy Neighbour)

Mokoomba Luyando (Outhere)

T

them; what does it mean or bode for the future? “What is it trying to tell us?!” screams the crazy-haired, bloodshot-eyed man looking upwards.

Well, Triptych is a hit-or-miss variety pack, depending on the listeners’ aethestic preferences, as most compilations are. It begins with Porridge Radio’s “Losercore,” undoubtedly referencing the Sentridoh (Sebadoh side-project) track of the same name, with a bratty, ‘90s indierock charm with a mid-song rumbling twist and energized, fill-heavy drumming.

LC Pumpkin’s “Spacedust” is somewhat akin to Beck’s early low-fidelity bastardized

he Triptych three-volume series may be of interest to those wanting a snapshot of the current indie scene in Brighton, England and also perhaps to numerologists—in addition to its digital release, the series is comprised of three extremely limited edition lathe-cut 8-inch vinyl records (11 units for each volume, for a total of 33 records made), each featuring three different bands.

One can easily imagine a movie scene with a paranoid, unstable person trying to find significance in this obsession with the number three, with newspaper clippings pasted on a wall with yarn strung between

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hip-hop, using a “Ashley’s Roachclip”-inspired drum machine beat and scrappy cosmic tones.

“Hunger Tower” from Dog in the Snow, a project from Fear of Men bassist Helen Ganya Brown, isn’t quite as gripping as it could have been, although taking inspiration from a cannibalism story from Dante’s The Divine Comedy.

The most notable features of “Try” from GAPS are its vocals, with Vocoder-treatments and a note-cluster harmony (think: mid-century jingle), but the track doesn’t really go anywhere. Hovering in the middle-ground are the inoffensive electro-baby-pop of KUB’s “Taboo” and the syrupy synthetics of Eva Bowan’s “Dusty” that create their own little world.

One of the highlights of Triptych is the slow-burn track “Dahab” from Immersion and Ronald Lippok that uses woozy synth lines and a one-chord approach to create a warm vibe, with a droney, ambient feel but perforated with beats. Is Triptych merely a Brighton indie zeitgeist document or is it also a secretly coded message tying the fate of the universe with the

number three? You decide.

T

he new album Luyando from the sextet Mokoomba (translation: “deep respect for the river”) from Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe is one of those albums that pretty much demands that the listener respond with some kind of movement—anything from a simple head-nod to fullon dancing. Its rhythms tap into something deep and compelling that demands attention.

At the front is lead vocalist Mathias Muzaza singing in the Tonga language; he fills every note with a passionate vigor, and any sustained note uses tight, quick modulations that seem to generate energy—it’s a voice that is impossible to tune-out or ignore.

Luyando is Mokoomba’s third album, and its acoustic instrumentation departs from the style of the previous Rising Tide, which used electric instruments and brass accents; this writer prefers this current approach, which offers a more timeless sound.

The group calls its style “Afrofusion,” using Tonga rhythms with a strong soukous vibe, particularly with its gorgeously

fluid and nimble guitar melody lines, and other elements are also present, including influence from Carribean soca music and spirited call-andresponse vocal exchanges.

The opener, “Mokole,” wastes no time in getting its blood pumping with compelling counterpoint, dexterous and precise guitar flourishes, some aggressive over-blown flutey goodness and mounting percussion that add up to an effective warm-up. “Kulindiswe” follows with an upbeat tempo and a heavy soukous influence, exuding pure joy with urgency.

“Kambowa” takes a strippeddown approach, primarily using hand-held percussion, hand-struck drums and handclaps behind the vocals, with exuberant interjections that erupt as if the song can’t contain all of its excitement.

Even more minimal is the acappella number “Nyaradzo” at the end of Luyando, with small-chorus harmonizing and a sort of reverent spirit that is no less lively than the previous tracks, closing a superb album that will likely inspire its own deep respect.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 25

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

what vertiginous spectacle. The tasks you’re working on are graceful and elegant, yet also big and weighty. Because of your intensity, you may not look flight-worthy, but you’re actually quite aerodynamic.

In fact, your sorties are dazzling and influential. Though your acrobatic zigzags seem improbable, they’re effective.

It's Tax Time Once Again ROB BREZSNY

Tax Day is upon us, once again, and we were wondering just how many returns are filed each year, and how much money is collected by Uncle Sam. To that, our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute have compiled the numbers.

• Individual Income Tax 147,103,375 returns $1,275,422,000,000 • Corporate Income Tax 2,479,785 returns $285,482,000,000 • Employment Taxes 30,533,289 returns $958,164,000,000 • Excise Taxes 809,461 returns $46,632,000,000 • Gift Tax 245,262 returns $3,094,000,000 • Estate Tax returns 47,320 returns $21,583,000,000 Pulling out calculators, that adds up to 181,218,492 returns for a collected revenue of $2,590,377,000,000, or just over 2.5 trillion dollars. Which is about a trillion less than the government spends annually.

Source: statisticbrain.com/tax-filingstatistics/

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Before visiting Sicily for the first time, American poet Billy Collins learned to speak Italian. In his poem “By a Swimming Pool Outside Siracusa,” he describes how the new language is changing his perspective. If he were thinking in English, he might say that the gin he’s drinking while sitting alone in the evening light “has softened my mood.” But the newly Italianized part of his mind would prefer to say that the gin “has allowed my thoughts to traverse my brain with greater gentleness” and “has extended permission to my mind to feel a friendship with the vast sky.” Your assignment in the coming week, Aries, is to Italianize your view of the world.

Infuse your thoughts with expansive lyricism and voluptuous relaxation. If you’re Italian, celebrate and amplify your Italianness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s closing time. You have finished toiling in the shadow of an old sacred cow.

You’ve climaxed your relationship with ill-fitting ideas that you borrowed from mediocre and inappropriate teachers once upon a time.

And you can finally give up your quest for a supposed Holy Grail that never actually existed in the first place. It’s time to move on to the next chapter of your life story, Taurus! You have been authorized to graduate from any influence, attachment, and attraction that wouldn’t serve your greater good in the future. Does this mean you’ll soon be ready to embrace more freedom than you have in years? I’m betting on it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The heaviest butterfly on the planet is the female Queen Victorian Birdwing.

It tips the scales at two grams. The female Queen Alexandra Birdwing is the butterfly with the longest wingspan: over 12 inches. These two creatures remind me of you these days.

Like them, you’re freakishly beautiful. You’re a marvelous and some-

26 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Picasso had mixed feelings about his fellow painter Marc Chagall, who was born under the sign of Cancer. “I’m not crazy about his roosters and donkeys and flying violinists, and all the folklore,” Picasso said, referring to the subject matter of Chagall’s compositions. But he also felt that Chagall was one of the only painters “who understands what color really is,” adding, “There’s never been anybody since Renoir who has the feeling for light that Chagall has.” I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will be the recipient of mixed messages like these. Praise and disapproval may come your way. Recognition and neglect. Kudos and apathy.

Please don’t dwell on the criticism and downplay the applause. In fact, do the reverse!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Go Tell It on the Mountain” is the title of an old gospel song, and now it’s the metaphorical theme of your horoscope.

I advise you to climb a tall peak— even if it’s just a magic mountain in your imagination—and deliver the spicy monologue that has been marinating within you. It would be great if you could gather a sympathetic audience for your revelations, but that’s not mandatory to achieve the necessary catharsis. You simply need to be gazing at the big picture as you declare your big, ripe truths.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you were a snake, it would be a fine time to molt your skin. If you were a river, it would be a perfect moment to overflow your banks in a spring flood. If you were an office worker, it would be an excellent phase to trade in your claustrophobic cubicle for a spacious new niche. In other words, Virgo, you’re primed to outgrow at least one of your containers. The boundaries you knew you would have to transgress some day are finally ready to be transgressed. Even now, your attention span is expanding and your imagination is stretching.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For over a century, the Ringsaker Lutheran

Test this hypothesis: The answer to a pressing question will come within 72 hours after you do a ritual in which you ask for clarity.

Church in Buxton, North Dakota hosted rites of passage, including 362 baptisms, 50 marriages, and 97 funerals. It closed in 2002, a victim of the area’s shrinking population. I invite you to consider the possibility that this can serve as a useful metaphor for you, Libra. Is there a place that has been a sanctuary for you, but has begun to lose its magic? Is there a traditional power spot from which the power has been ebbing?

Has a holy refuge evolved into a mundane hang-out? If so, mourn for a while, then go in search of a vibrant replacement.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most people throw away lemon rinds, walnut shells, and pomegranate skins. But some resourceful types find uses for these apparent wastes.

Lemon rind can serve as a deodorizer, cleaner, and skin tonic, as well as a zesty ingredient in recipes. Groundup walnut shells work well in facial scrubs and pet bedding. When made into a powder, pomegranate peels have a variety of applications for skin care. I suggest you look for metaphorically similar things, Scorpio.

You’re typically inclined to dismiss the surfaces and discard the packaging and ignore the outer layers, but I urge you to consider the possibility that right now they may have value.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re growing too fast, but that’s fine as long as you don’t make people around you feel they’re moving too slowly. You know too much, but that won’t be a problem as long as you don’t act snooty. And you’re almost too attractive for your own good, but that won’t hurt you as long as you overflow with spontaneous generosity. What I’m trying to convey, Sagittarius, is that your excesses are likely to be more beautiful than chaotic, more fertile than confusing. And that should provide you with plenty of slack when dealing with cautious folks who are a bit rattled by your lust for life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Until recently, scientists believed the number of trees on the planet was about

400 billion. But research published in the journal Nature says that’s wrong.

There are actually three trillion trees on earth—almost eight times more than was previously thought. In a similar way, I suspect you have also underestimated certain resources that are personally available to you, Capricorn. Now is a good time to correct your undervaluation. Summon the audacity to recognize the potential abundance you have at your disposal. Then make plans to tap into it with a greater sense of purpose.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The poet John Keats identified a quality he called “negative capability.” He defined it as the power to calmly accept “uncertainties, mysteries, and doubts without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” I would extend the meaning to include three other things not to be irritably reached for: artificial clarity, premature resolution, and simplistic answers. Now is an excellent time to learn more about this fine art, Aquarius.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you ready for a riddle that’s more enjoyable than the kind you’re used to? I’m not sure if you are. You may be too jaded to embrace this unusual gift.

You could assume it’s another one of the crazy-making cosmic jokes that have sometimes tormented you in the past. But I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope you’ll welcome the riddle in the liberating spirit in which it’s offered. If you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised as it teases you in ways you didn’t know you wanted to be teased. You’ll feel a delightful itch or a soothing burn in your secret self, like a funny-bone feeling that titillates your immortal soul. P.S.: To take full advantage of the blessed riddle, you may have to expand your understanding of what’s good for you.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work.

It’s all in the stars.

COLUMN ∙ BUSINESS BRIEFS

European Wax Center Frazier Avenue's European Wax Center outshines the competition

By Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

The word “comforting” isn’t something you’d expect to hear from someone who just had a wax, but at European Wax Center on Frazier Avenue, that is the exact word chosen by their clients to describe their experience. From the waxing to the employees, the entire affair at European Wax Center is a comforting one, with their wax even being called “comfort wax” because it doesn’t adhere to the skin.

Known as “the experts in eyebrows”, European Wax Center employs only the most professional and experienced waxers to care for their clientele, with some having as much as 15 years’ experience.

“Our clients receive personal service from personal people,” says owner Christine Helms. “Our employees build a relationship with the client, find out their needs, and make sure to give them the greatest waxing or facial experience they’ve ever had.”

New clients will have a detailed consultation with an employee to discuss what it is that would best suit their needs as well as eliminate any doubt they may have about the waxing process. It’s one of the many reasons that the Frazier Avenue European Wax Center is the highest review rated European Wax Franchise in the network— that’s over 600 European Wax Centers that the Frazier location beat out.

The employees at European Wax take

European Wax Center M-F, 9a-8p, Sat. 9a-6p , Sun. 11a-4p 345 Frazier Ave #101 (423) 785-8000 www.waxcenter.com

their jobs very seriously, cleaning especially—another reason they’re so highly rated. Each room is cleaned after every guest, deep cleaned at the end of the day, and super deep cleaned three days a week.

There’s nothing scarier than feeling like your personal business is about to be handled in an unclean environment so European Wax makes sure that not only is your visit free of worry concerning cleanliness, but free of worry on all fronts.

Back to that “comfort wax” you’re surely wondering about. It’s soothing in the fact that it adheres only to hair and not skin thanks to the wax itself and the prepping process that leads up to the wax.

First comes the cleansing of the area to be waxed to remove dirt and oils.

Second is the pre-wax oil that creates a protective barrier between the skin and the wax. Third comes the application of the comfort blend wax and removal. There are no strips needed to remove this wax as it hardens and becomes a strip in itself. And to top off the process, product will be applied depending on the wax or the facial—yes they do facials too—you received.

Any product used on you during your wax or facial can be purchased in the storefront, filled with shelves of wonder that you’d be hard pressed not to browse (and take something home with you.)

“Our employees build a relationship with the client, find out their needs, and make sure to give them the greatest waxing or facial experience they’ve ever had.”

Their best seller is the “Smooth Me” ingrown hair serum. Use it after your wax for flawless skin, or use it after shaving at home. The bottle will last you about eight to ten months, and the minute they restock the shelves with it, it’s

nearly sold out again so be on the lookout!

Their lines of body polishes are to die for and so is their brow line.

If you’re a first time female guest, experience an underarm, bikini line, or eyebrow wax for free. For the men, a complimentary ear, nose, or brow wax.

Get an eyebrow wax on your lunch break without anyone at the office knowing as the employees use their brow line powder and liner to fill in your eyebrows and get you ready to go once again, fabulous as ever.

Ask about their ‘wax passes’ program which could save your 25 to 35 percent. It’s an experience you will want to indulge in time and time again, and you’ll be welcomed back every time with a smile.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 27

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

28 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

“They’re Getting Along Great”—in this puzzle, at least.

ACROSS 1 Animal that can follow the first word in each of this puzzle’s four theme entries 4 Folklore automaton 9 Steering wheel theft deterrent, with “The” 13 “Cheerleader” singer 14 Biblical landing site 16 1980s tennis star Mandlikova 17 Group that gets called about illicit facsimiles?

19 Fix a feature, e.g.

20 ___ buco (veal entree) 21 Canines often metaphorically sacrificed 23 Weather report stats 27 Kleenex crud 28 Classic 1971 album that closes with “Riders on the Storm” 31 Rapper Biggie 35 Jointly owned, maybe 36 Animal who says “Baa, humbug”?

39 2003/2005/2007 A.L. MVP, familiarly 41 Elevator or train component

42 Blacken, as a steak 43 Where to dispose of cooking grease and tropical oils?

48 Apr. number cruncher 49 Plan so that maybe one can 50 Mischievous 52 Breakfast side dish 54 Gambling game played in convenience stores 55 Fifties fad involving undulation 59 “Terrible” ages 63 Conservation subj.

64 Product of a between-buildings cookoff?

68 Ointment ingredient 69 Illinois city symbolizing Middle America 70 “Funeral in Berlin” novelist Deighton 71 Kentucky senator Paul 72 Put up with 73 Animal that can follow the second word in each of this puzzle’s four theme entries

DOWN 1 Couturiere Chanel 2 “Cornflake Girl” singer Tori 3 Contents of some jars 4 Empty space 5 El Dorado’s treasure 6 Magic’s NBA team, on scoreboards 7 City north of Pittsburgh 8 Big name in Thanksgiving parades 9 Extremely speedy mammals 10 Stow, as on a ship 11 Hand or foot, e.g.

12 Aptly titled English spa 15 Wee 18 Acronym popularized by Drake 22 ___ of Maine (toothpaste brand) 24 Three-letter “Squee!”

25 Failure of diplomacy 26 Moved stealthily 28 Does nothing 29 Haloes of light 30 Made music?

32 Clingy critter?

33 Made like a kangaroo 34 Prevent

infestations, in a way 37 The shortest month?

38 Practical joke 40 Record producer with the 2017 single “Shining” 44 Site of Bryce Canyon 45 Old-school “Fuggedaboutit!”

46 “Call Me Maybe” middle name 47 Horse’s brownishgray hue 51 Unironic ankh wearer at night 53 Fillings for some donuts?

55 Consider officially, as a judge 56 Bruins’ alma mater 57 “On Golden Pond” bird 58 Novel necessity 60 Like joker values 61 Another word for margarine 62 Illumination Entertainment’s other 2016 film (besides The Secret Life of Pets) 65 History class division 66 Counterpart of yang 67 Philandering fellow

Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 827 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 29

FOOD & DRINK ∙ SUSHI & BISCUITS

The Best Grilled Chicken Ever Our personal chef presents the world's greatest grilled chicken recipe

Mike McJunkin Pulse columnist

L

OOK, I’M NOT GOING TO TELL you how to live your life. How you eat your grilled chicken is a personal choice that you make in prayerful consultation with your family and a chicken-loving God. No one can understand the complex matrix of unreasonable expectations and palates numbed by Walmart rotisserie chickens that you have to navigate when you grill chicken at home.

But I have been to the mountaintop and I bring good news for all who yearn for the one true grilled chicken recipe.

At Nattapong Kitjakarn’s roadside restaurant in Thailand’s Chiang Mai province, the holy grail of grilled chicken, gai yang, is being served to any and all who enter.

Nattapong (who asks to be called “Gun” for unknown reasons) told me that while there are as many recipes for gai yang as there are cooks in Thailand. His recipe was, of course, special.

After thorough research involving five whole chickens, a pint of naam jim kai dipping sauce, and several bottles of Thai whiskey, I can confidently say that I am bringing you the recipe for the world’s greatest grilled chicken.

Sweet, smoky, tender, and juicy with crispy skin and a dipping sauce that will make you speak in tongues.

Yes, it’s long.

Yes, you need a mortar and pestle.

No, you can’t substitute anything.

Ingredients • 2 4–5 lb chickens Brine • 8 cups water • 1/3 cup sugar • 1/2 cup kosher salt • 1 tsp white pepper • 8 garlic cloves, crushed • 3” piece of galangal, sliced • 2 stalks lemongrass, cut into 1” lengths • 3 whole green ­onions, roughly chopped • Handful of cilantro stems and roots, roughly chopped Seasoning • 4 stalks lemongrass (outer layer, bottom root stem, and dry, top section removed) • 1 cup garlic, roughly chopped • 1 Tbsp kosher salt • 1 t black pepper • 1/2 cup cilantro stems, chopped into ¼” lengths Marinade • 2 Tbsp Thai fish sauce • 3 Tbsp Thai soy sauce • 1 Tbsp palm sugar • 1/4 tsp black ­pepper • 2 Tbsp water Preparation Dissolve the salt, sugar and 8 cups of water in a container that’s large enough to brine both chickens. Coarsely pound the garlic, peppercorns, ginger, and lemongrass in a mortar and pestle, then add to the brine along with the cilantro and green onions.

Add the chickens breast side down. If they float, weigh them down with a plate. Cover and refrigerate 6-8 hours.

Remove the chickens from the brine, drain, and pat both sides dry.

30 • THE PULSE • APRIL 13, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Cut the lemongrass into 1/8" slices and pound it with your mortar and pestle for about 15 seconds.

Add the garlic and pound for another 20 seconds. Add the salt, pepper, cilantro stems and pound about 15 seconds more.

Divide the mixture, put one half into each chicken’s chest cavity and put the chickens in the fridge uncovered, breast side up on a baking sheet fitted with a cooling rack. Air should freely circulate around them for 6-10 hours.

Mix the fish sauce, soy sauce, sugar, pepper, and water together in a small bowl until the sugar is dissolved.

Spatchcock the birds (Google it if you’re unsure), brush both sides with the marinade and put them back into the fridge for two more hours. Refrigerate the remaining marinade.

After the chickens have marinated, set up your grill for indirect cooking by heaping charcoal on one side of the grill. (Start another chimney of charcoal; you’re going to need more coals later.) You want the grill temperature to only be about 325°F—not too hot.

Oil the grates, secure the chickens with skewers or bamboo (see photo) and place the chickens, breast up, on the grill opposite the charcoal. Close the grill and position the vents directly over the birds to pull charcoal smoke over them as they cook.

After 30 minutes, carefully flip the chickens over for 5–10 minutes to give the breasts some color, then flip them back over. Add additional coals as necessary, but don’t get the grill too hot (still 325° F) Baste the chickens with the remainder of the marinade for about 5 to 10 minutes more, turning and rotating so they don’t burn. The skin should turn glossy, golden brown and the thigh juices will run clear when pierced.

Transfer to a cutting board, carve and serve with sticky rice and naam jim kai dipping sauce.

Naam Jim Kai dipping sauce Pound 8 seeded and chopped Thai red chilies in a mortar and pestle. Mix the pounded chilis with ¾ cup white vinegar, ½ cup palm sugar and ½ tsp salt.

Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan currently living abroad who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 13, 2017 • THE PULSE • 31