MAY 12, 2016
CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
COVER STORY
THE TENNESSEE RIVER: PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE
THE RIVER THAT SHAPED OUR CITY AND REGION HAS A LONG AND FASCINATING HISTORY By RayTerry
MUSIC
ARTS
SCREEN
UNSTOPPABLE
SOUTHSIDE
TAKING SIDES
J. TRAUB
SWINE ART IRON CAP
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Contents
CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
EDITORIAL
Managing Editor Gary Poole Editorial Assistant Brooke Dorn
May 12, 2016 Volume 13, Issue 19
Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Patrick Filbin Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Mike McJunkin • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Terry Stulce • RayTerry
Features
Editorial Interns Hillary Eames • Alex Ward
4 BEGINNINGS: Racism is not about political correctness; racism is simply vile.
Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow
5 THE LIST: Top selling music artists.
Cover Photo Sean Pavone FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL
ADVERTISING
Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Linda Hisey Rick Leavell • John Rodriguez Stacey Tyler • Logan Vandergriff
CONTACT
Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.
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The Tennessee River
Before there were roads, cars or even railways, people traveled by the only natural means available: waterways. The many rivers located in the country are what early settlers and explorers used to reach across the vast expanses. Today, one of the greater modern uses of rivers is hydroelectric energy.
14
From Grocery Store to Arts Center
Effective art spaces are versatile places that can encourage transformation—both physical and conceptual—and with a flick of a finger. Artist Matthew Dutton has turned a closed Southside wine shop into the new art gallery Swine by fingerpainting an “S” in front of a decal that advertised “WINE.”
22
The Unstoppable Jamal Traub
The Unstoppable Jamal Traub released his latest album this week. I’ve listened to it half a dozen times so far and at this point there are two things I can say with certainty. First, it is an exquisite work. Second, it may be the most difficult album I’ve written about to date.
7 SHADES OF GREEN: Vampires are easy to deal with compared to bloodsucking mosquitos. 12 SCREEN: Captain America: Civil War is a comic book brought to life. 16 ARTS CALENDAR 19 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 21 MIXOLOGY: Adding alcohol makes frozen treats perfect for adults. 24 MUSIC CALENDAR 26 REVIEWS: Hughes rocks it out ‘70s style, Side Affect wants us all dreaming. 28 DIVERSIONS 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 SUSHI & BISCUITS: Sometimes the exotic food of SE Asia isn’t worth the trip.
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BEGINNINGS
NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVES
UPDATES » CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM FACEBOOK/CHATTANOOGAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Op-Ed: The Magic of Political Correctness Racism is not about political correctness; racism is simply vile Republicans have created the In 1971, actor John Wayne said, ultimate excuse. It can be used to “I believe in white supremacy unerase vile rhetoric or deny misbetil blacks educate themselves to a havior. You just deploy the magic point of responsibility. I don’t beword “political corlieve in giving authorrectness” and float ity and positions of away from the carnage leadership and judgeyou have created. ment to irresponsible people.” Well in 1971, Political correctness TERRY STULCE I was returning from is even more potent my second year in Vietnam where than the magic of the words such as African-Americans had been as“death panel”. No matter what the suming positions of leadership crime, misogyny, racism, xenophoand authority on a daily basis since bia, homophobia, Islamophobia, 1963. you just pull the tab on a can of They were squad leaders, pla“political correctness” and you are toon sergeants, combat platoon safe and above any criticism.
OPINION
leaders, and company commanders providing leadership to American soldiers in combat. They were dying for this country as real heroes (7,300 African-Americans were KIA) while Duke, the blowhard, sat in the safety and comfort of his home and pretended to be a hero. Often right wingers will walk right over the bodies of real heroes to worship at the feet of loudmouth phonies. In 1967, I became a member of RA1. This was what the Army called their first class of ROTC scholarship winners. Many of us went to Infantry Officers Basic Course, Ranger School, Airborne School together and were assigned as Combat Platoon Leaders to the 101st Airborne for deployment to Vietnam. Two of my best friends from this class were African-Americans: Lee Grimsley, graduate of Tuskegee, and Gary Scott, graduate from Syracuse. Their lives and character were an unequivocal refutation of John Wayne’s racism. Both were exceptional leaders, their judgement was impeccable, and they knew how to use authority to safeguard the men they commanded. Gary was killed in combat in May of 1968 and Lee survived his first tour with the 101st but was KIA in 1971 near Dak To. A California state legislator blocked a proposal for a “John Wayne Day” because of his rabid racism. Meanwhile, conservative lapdogs in Chattanooga were quick to defend Wayne saying his racism was just “random quotes” taken from “thousands of interviews.” Never mind that this “random quote” begins with “I believe in white supremacy”. These sycophants conclude that Wayne did not get his
day because of “an overly politically correct reaction.” What? He might as well have recited the KKK pledge. Do you really want to choose the side of history that defends racists? Racism is not about political correctness. Racism is the tool that has been used to oppress Blacks for 400 years. Let me be clear. John Wayne is not a hero. He is a blowhard pretending to be a hero. He was an empty suit of no substance, but I hope one day that you right wingers get a day for racist blowhards. Call it Rush Limbaugh Day. Terry Stulce served two combat tours in Vietnam, one with the 101st Airborne and one with the 69th Border Rangers. He was an LCSW and owner of Cleveland Family Counseling before retirement in 2009.
“Often right wingers will walk right over the bodies of real heroes to worship at the feet of loudmouth phonies.”
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The List
EdiToon
Top Selling Music Artists Of All Time
by Rob Rogers
Just about everyone loves music. It's pretty safe to assume if you are a reader of The Pulse, you definitely have a strong interest in music. That said, it's fairly hard to define who is "the best" of all time. One way to judge, however, is by album sales.
No Feathers Ruffled at Little Owl Festival The Little Owl Music and Arts Festival has been providing Chattanoogans with arts, music and great food vendors for the past four years, and this Saturday the whole family can expect the fifth year to be a real “hoot”. The festival is being held at Audubon Wildlife Sanctuary this Saturday from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. With local artists like Walker Hall, who is known
for his handmade bird egg renderings, as well as many other fine arts vendors, art lovers will find no shortage of booths to browse for unique pieces. A full lineup of onstage entertainment is also planned for this family friendly event with folk music, a storyteller, a Chattanooga Zoo wildlife demonstration and a live show from Organized Kaos.
IN THIS ISSUE
RayTerry Our cover story this week on the history of the Tennessee River is by RayTerry. Ray is the new Vice-President of the Chattanooga Area Labor Council of the Tennessee AFL-CIO; SecretaryTreasurer of the: Tri State Musicians’ Union, Local 80
Kamelot Cotton Candy, known for their fresh made cotton candy sculptures, will delight foodies and children alike with sweets so adorable you’ll almost feel bad eating them. Even the young artist of the family will have a chance to showcase their skills in the student poster contest, open to any student in the tri-state area. Festivalgoers will be charged $7 per person or $15 per carload making this not only an exceptionally entertaining way to spend your Saturday but also an extremely affordable one. — Alex Ward
Ernie Paik of the American Federation of Musicians representing the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera, and the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra along with various other free-lance musicians. Former General Secretary-Treasurer of the Brotherhood of Railroad Signalmen. A long time lake advocate who enjoys spending time on the family dock at Shady Grove in Soddy Daisy during the long summer months.
Album reviewer and music writer Ernie Paik has written about music and film for various publications for over 20 years and has contributed regularly to The Pulse since 2005. He has contributed to the books “The Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs: A Field Guide”
and “Lunacy: The Best of the Cornell Lunatic”, and he is the current president of the Chattanooga-based nonprofit arts education organization The Shaking Ray Levi Society (one of our favorites). As a recording artist, he has created original music for film, radio, television and theater, and his video artwork has been shown at the Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit and the 2010 Big Ears Festival.
So, we checked with the Recording Industry Association of America to find out who had the most certified album sales (although many have claimed much higher numbers). 1. The Beatles, 257.7 million 2. Elvis Presley, 206.8 million 3. Michael Jackson, 169.7 million 4. Madonna *, 164.4 million 5. Elton John *, 159.1 million 6. Led Zeppelin, 137.2 million 7. Pink Floyd, 114.1 million 8. Mariah Carey *, 128.3 million 9. Celine Dion *, 120.8 million 10. Whitney Houston, 110.2 million The artists with an asterisk next to names are still active, so it's safe to assume they'll likely be adding to their totals. And even if they aren't active, record labels often repackage or re-release older albums, live albums, or boxed sets For example, The Beatles released 12 albums during their tenure as a band, but to date have over 70 albums released in different variations. Source: statisticbrain.com/top-sellingmusic-artists-of-all-time/
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COLUMN SHADES OF GREEN
Those Nasty Little Blood Suckers Vampires are easy to deal with compared to blood-sucking mosquitos
SANDRA KURTZ
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These mosquitodriven diseases are partly due to climate change. Warmer temperatures and moisture allow mosquitos to flourish.”
Photo by Diego Medrano Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. You can visit her website to learn more at enviroedu.net
Six legs, a pointed abdomen, and wings measuring up to ¾ inches in length and weighing .000088 ounces. Both males and females eat nectar for food, but the female sucks blood to supply protein for eggs. She loves carbon dioxide. Hold your breath. It’s Lady Mosquito Aedes aegypti! Mosquitos have four life stages: Egg to larva (wigglers) to pupa and then, like a butterfly, emergence as an adult. Three stages are in water so the best prevention is removing standing water in such collectors as tires, flowerpots, pools or even a bottle cap. Bonnie Deakins, Director of Environmental Health Services for Hamilton County Health Department, said, “You must scrub hard once or twice a week! You can’t just empty the water because the eggs are really sticky.” This aggressive mosquito prefers indoor and daytime biting. For most humans comes annoying itching and a red bump, the body’s reaction as the mosquito inserts its anticoagulant-laden saliva into you via its proboscis. More seriously there are diseases transmitted by these ‘little flies’ such as malaria, dengue fever, encephalitis, chikungunya, and West Nile virus. Malaria extended throughout the United States in the 1800s. Yellow fever was once common in Tennessee, most notably during the Memphis 1878 epidemic. Both Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus, the Asian tiger mosquito in our area, can carry the Zika virus. The Zika virus and the others are delivered to humans by female mosquitos. Males don’t bite. Now there’s a bit of good news. Lately, Zika virus with its potentially devastating impacts for pregnant women has shocked us. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 3-4 million people across the Americas will be infected with Zika in the next
year. Eighty percent will have no noticeable symptoms, but for pregnant women the virus may produce newborns with microcephaly, a neurological disorder resulting in abnormally small heads and developmental issues. According to Ms. Deakins, Hamilton County Health Department has seen no cases of Zika virus here although both Aedes mosquitos are present. That’s a relief for now, but our luck may not hold. Zika is moving north from its outbreaks south of us. WHO expects it to spread across the United States. As of April 6, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported 346 cases in 41 states although all illnesses were associated with travelers returning after bites in countries like Brazil. Why these outbreaks? More travelers can be disease carriers as they arrive home. Still, these mosquito-driven diseases are partly due to climate change. Warmer temperatures and moisture allow mosquitos to flourish. “A robust public health system in the USA will protect people from some of those changes, says Sonia Altizer, ecology professor at University of GeorgiaAthens and co-author of a recent paper in the journal Science on how climate change affects infectious diseases worldwide. The bad news: “It’s going to cost us more money,” she says. “More mosquito abatement, more deer fences,
more vaccination campaigns, more public health clinics, higher medical insurance costs. It all adds up.” Locally Hamilton County Health Department is responsible for mosquito control. Deakins says that prevention presently involves screening of travelers. Emergencies might bring monitoring of outbreak areas and yard surveys. The main effort is through education for larval stage control plus prevention of bites. She advises wearing light clothing, long sleeves and pants, covered shoes and tucked in socks plus a repellant when outdoors. DEET is proven effective, but not good for young children. Many swear by Avon’s Skin-So-Soft. Oil of lemon or eucalyptus can help. Pesticides placed in wetlands or ponds are problematic for the ecosystem. EPA recommends integrated pest management and a larvicide named Bti (Bacillus thuringien-sis israeliensis). Remember, not all mosquitos are harmful. They do provide food for some fish and frogs and to a lesser extent bats and birds. By the way, neither citronella nor bug zappers really work. Try a fan.
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COVER STORY
The Tennessee River: Past, Present, and Future The river that shaped out city has a long and fascinating history By RayTerry, Pulse contibutor
“I was born across the river in the mountains where I call home. Lord, times were good there. don’t know why I ever roamed. Oh, Tennessee River and a mountain man, we get together anytime we can. Oh, Tennessee River and a mountain man, we play together in mother nature’s band.” — Alabama, “Tennessee River” Before there were roads, cars or even railways, people traveled by the only natural means available: waterways. The many rivers located in the country are what early settlers and explorers used to reach across the vast expanses. Today, one of the greater modern uses of rivers is hydroelectric energy. The incredible power of water is harnessed through an elaborate system of dams, locks, and passageways that take advantage of this abundant resource. Commerce like barge traffic and recreation make up a large part of waterway use also. The Tennessee River was at one time called the Cherokee River, among other names. Named after the native tribe of Cherokee who lived along its borders whose land it flowed through in eastern Tennessee and northern Alabama. The name Tennessee is derived from the Cherokee village named: Tanasi. The Tennessee River is approximately 652 miles long and is the largest tributary of the Ohio River. A tributary is a stream or river that flows into a larger stream, parent river, or lake. The river begins in Knoxville with the confluence of the Holston and French Broad rivers. Its course moves southwest through east Tennessee and into Chattanooga. From here it loops through Northern Alabama and then from Guntersville flows northwest back into Tennessee. Here the river forms two of the Grand Divisions of our state: Middle and West Tennessee. It’s hard not to think of Chattanooga without recognizing the fact that it is a river town. The humble beginnings of our beautiful city started just off the riverbank downtown at what is today known as: Ross’s 8 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Landing. Which in fact is the original name of Chattanooga. In 1816 John Ross established a trading post just North of Chattanooga Creek and it became known as “Ross’s Warehouse.” At this time river trading posts like this were a key aspect in the sustenance of new immigrants migrating throughout the land. This along with: trade of goods and supplies and the news of current events were relayed back and forth in a time before newspapers existed. It was also known by river goers that this particular stretch of river had the best conditions for a river flatboat crossing. Thus, it was also called “Ross’s Ferry.” Yes, John Ross, who would later become the principal chief of the Cherokee Nation also operated a swing ferry that went across the river and was anchored on today’s Maclellan Island. Eventually, the term “Ross’s Landing” stuck and in 1974 it was listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Today, thousands of people venture down to the riverbanks and enjoy the multi-million-dollar Ross’s Landing Riverfront Park for all kinds of various aquatic and leisurely activities. On the official seal of the great state of Tennessee, it has two distinct images. The top is agriculture, representing the agrarian society of farming from which the state grew. The bottom image is commerce and shows a flat-bottomed-riverboat. Farming and the rivers were such a big part in the forming of the state that they were used as the representative icons for Tennessee’s seal. How else could one get the goods to and fro? By river, no doubt!
Where would we be without the Tennessee Valley Authority? Answer: in a swamp! A picture of Chattanooga a hundred years ago plainly shows much of it submerged in a broad flood plain. TVA is a federally owned corporation of the United States government that was created by congressional charter in 1933. The goal was to provide navigation, flood control, electrical generation, and economic development for the depression-stricken Tennessee Valley. It was the first large regional planning agency of the federal government, and remains the largest to this day. Here in Chattanooga, the Chickamauga Dam is one of nine TVA dams that is a concrete hydroelectric facility with a generating capacity of 119 megawatts. 5,800 feet long and 129 feet high, the dam impounds the over 36,000-acre Chickamauga Lake that feeds into Nickajack Lake. The river, along with the dam system, helps generate power for thousands of residents in and around their surrounding areas. Chickamauga Dam’s name is derived from the Chickamauga Cherokee who also referred to themselves as the Chicomogie. Construction began on January 13, 1936 with President Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicating the dam in 1939. Completion was on January 15, 1940 at a cost of over $42 million dollars, more than half a billion dollars in today’s money. Recreational areas like Booker T. Washington and Harrison Bay State Park were developed by the creation of the Chickamauga reservoir and are enjoyed yearly by many local and out-of-state visitors. One can camp, fish, boat and swim. You name it; the parks are a great place for fun during the hot summer days here in the south. Today, the most current event surrounding
the dam is the upgrade to the navigation lock. The long-term goal is to take the one barge capacity lock and upgrade it to handle six barges simultaneously. Measuring 60 wide by 360 feet long, the lock allows recreational boats and river barges to travel past the dam by raising or lowering the water level 53 feet so vessels may pass from one reservoir to another. Having went through the lock before, it is quite an experience. The massive gear system that powers the lock can be viewed at the base of the dam. The lock rebuild project was originally funded through the Inland Waterways Trust Fund, which also finances the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers who work on river navigation infrastructure. That fund ran out and new funding under the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 added another $52 million dollars to the project. Another $37 million dollars was added to the project by a Senate panel on April 13 for next year. Recently work resumed after four years of dormancy. Local U.S. Rep. Chuck Fleischmann (R-TN), has been instrumental in helping to keep alive this vital upgrade to the river naviga-
tional system. In a statement from the work resumption ceremony on April 25, Congressman Fleischmann said, “This is the restart of the new Chickamauga Lock. We are not only going to begin the reopening, the rebuilding of the great new lock, we are going to have a renaissance in America. And that renaissance and rebirth is going to be a ‘can do’ attitude. It will show our citizens what we can do when we come together with the right goals, with the right hearts, with optimism to get things done.” The newly appropriated $3.1 million dollars have restarted the project. Even after this amount it will still require over $600 million to complete the project. The total projected cost of the project is a whopping $858 million dollars! The lock is crumbling and maintenance is constant. Over time, chemical reactions due to “concrete growth” are the main cause of deterioration from the cement and rock aggregate in the walls. Funding for a complete replacement lock have been proposed but have been overridden by other larger major projects in Ohio and Pennsylvania wa-
terways. These projects rank higher in priority because of their larger numbers of barge traffic that use the facilities. All along the banks of the river people use the water. Boat marinas abound, as boaters and personal watercraft need an ever-constant supply of fuel and food while enjoying a relaxing weekend on the lake. The city of Chattanooga has been very keen to take advantage of the river by hosting the annual Riverbend Festival, under the local direction of the non-profit Friends of the Festival group. Famous acts and soon-to-be-famous local bands come and entertain the masses in one of the many floating stages used for the festivities. Every year it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Annual events like this continue to put Chattanooga and our part of the river on the map for the entire nation to see. The Chattanooga River Boat Company, located at Pier 2 on the Riverfront downtown, features the Southern Belle riverboat. Located between the Oligiati and Market Street bridges, the Southern Belle cruises the river daily offering sightseeing and lunch tours with live >> Continued on pg. 10
Men of the Quartermaster's Department building transport steamers on the Tennessee River at Chattanooga, 1864 . Photo courtesy National Archives and Records Administration.
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All along the banks of the river people use the water. Boat marinas abound, as boaters and personal watercraft need an ever-constant supply of fuel and food while enjoying a relaxing weekend on the lake.”
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narration of the river from the captain’s pilothouse. At night you can enjoy a sunset or dinner cruise with music, dancing, and an excellent dinner to compliment your river experience. Back at the dock; check out the 3rd Deck Burger Bar. It sits 40 feet above the water and has an outside patio and indoor leather couch seating. So, sit back, relax and watch all the various boats and barges go by while you sip on a cool beverage. You can also customize your own creation from the exclusive: build your own sandwich menu. Choose from Black Angus, chicken or veggie. Let your cares float down the river! Some of the few negative things about the river would have to be: pollution. Where does pollution of the water come from? People. It is a careless act for boaters to throw out garbage, cigarettes, beer
cans/bottles etc. and expect it to just go away with the current. It does not. Mercury levels from industrial pollution are so bad that the fish are not safe too consume. If that is true, then how good do you think it is for the fish? People still fish the waters, but I hope for their sakes they are not eating the fish! Back in the ‘60s, TVA detected a non-indigenous water plant in the river called milfoil. They tried to eradicate it with chemicals and by lowering the water levels. It was all to no avail. If you use the river, you know what I’m talking about. Thanks to this invasive water plant that more than likely comes from Australia, boat props and motors now get clogged and feet get tangled when trying to swim. I miss the days before milfoil took over the lake. A legal bone of contention over the
The Best Sports Coverage in Chattanooga. Period.
years has been the state of Georgia’s pursuit of a boundary change with Tennessee in Marion County. They hope to get part of the river for their states water deficiencies. Yes, a lot of the water we drink still comes from the Tennessee River. Georgia, having suffered from extensive drought for many years along with uncontrolled growth in the metropolitan region surrounding Atlanta, has been looking for ways to curb their shortfall. So far, it has not gone the way in which they would like. Tennessee is still Tennessee, like it has been since 1796. We as people have a solemn duty to protect the water and also to cherish this vital life-sustaining element. Truly, we are blessed to have in our midst such a valuable and enviable resource. A true… river of life.
Crowds gather on the riverfront during the annual Riverbend Festival. Photo courtesy Chattanooga Chamber of Commerce.
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We as people have a solemn duty to protect the water and also to cherish this vital life-sustaining element.”
Follow The Pulse on Facebook (we’re quite likeable) www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 11
SCREEN SCENE
Marvel Continues To Deliver With Epic Civil War
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Matthew Broderick '80s classic gets big-screen revival It's been 30 years since young Ferris Bueller decided to take a day off from school and turned Chicago (and one assistant principal) upsidedown. Now you can relive the glory days of '80s cinema comedy with a special two-day showing of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on Sunday, May 15 and Wednesday, May 18. This beloved classic will be accompanied by special commentary from TCM hosts Robert Osborne or Ben Mankiewicz, who will provide insight, background and more, making this film come alive.
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This hit comedy from John Hughes chronicles the events in the day of larger-than-life Ferris Bueller. One fake sick day sends high school senior Ferris, his girlfriend Sloane and his best friend Cameron on the adventure of their lives, as they ditch school and take off on a raucous journey through Chicago. Ferris Bueller's Day Off Sunday, 2 p.m. Wednesday, 7 p.m. Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace carmike.com/Events
NEW IN THEATERS
Money Monster Financial TV host Lee Gates and his producer Patty are put in an extreme situation when an irate investor takes over their studio, in director Jodie Foster's latest film. Director: Jodie Foster Stars: George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jack O'Connell, Dominic West
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The Darkness A family returns from a Grand Canyon vacation with a supernatural presence in tow. As a side note, you can now add a whole new group of people to the "Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon" list. Director: Greg McLean Stars: Jennifer Morrison, Kevin Bacon, Lucy Fry, Ming-Na Wen
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Captain America: Civil War is a comic book brought to life on the screen
A
S THE UNIVERSE EXPANDS, MARVEL FILMS ARE GOing to become increasingly unwieldy. The comic books are already so and have been for decades. That’s why there are periodic reboots, from the “Ultimate” series or the most recent “All New, All Different” changes of “Secret Wars”. Given that this is within comic canon, and that the films are closely following its own canon inspired by official Marvel stories, the behemoth of a franchise is slowly becoming an unstoppable force that will ultimately hit the immovable object of over exposure.
Screen JOHN DEVORE
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While this film holds the moniker of the star spangled WWII era soldier, make no mistake: this is an Avengers film.”
But damn if it isn’t a fun ride for fans of the comics. These films are remarkable in their casting, writing, and story management. The unsung heroes of contract lawyers that work for Marvel deserve far more credit than they receive. I doubt there’s a film reviewer alive that’s praised their work, but without them, these films would be dead in the water. The latest in Phase II of Marvel Studio’s Hollywood onslaught is Captain America: Civil War. While this film holds the moniker of the star spangled WWII era soldier, make no mistake: this is an Avengers film. Hulk and Thor may be AWOL, but the rest of the gang is available and ready to fight. The film even adds a few new faces. Captain America: Civil War comes close on the heels of The Avengers: Age of Ultron, when the team of elite superhumans lifted and dropped an entire city, causing losses on an incalculable scale, and saving the planet once again. But here, rather than getting off with excessive and deadly mass destruction, the world has become wary of these unilat-
eral actions by costumed vigilantes. In the comic book on which this film is based, the U.S. Government created a law that required all superheroes to unmask and register with them or retire back to the recesses of humanity from whence they came. Here, the world is uniting by passing a joint U.N. resolution requiring U.N. approval before heroic actions of any kind. In many ways, this makes sense. The Avengers are living weapons capable of inflicting massive amounts of damage on the world around them. Of course the people of the world are going to ask that some restrictions be put in place. Tony Stark, the Iron Man that started it all, agrees and pressures the other members to sign the agreement. Most are willing—Captain America is not. He is the embodiment of American individualism and responsibility. He’s American gun laws personified. No amount of oversight is going to stop him from doing what he sees as his God-given responsibility to seriously injure people with his physics defying shield. When his friend Bucky, now known as The Winter Soldier, reappears and has apparently bombed the U.N. meeting that set out to restrict the superheroes, Captain American goes outside the law to find him and get to the bottom of what really happened. It sets up an epic battle between friends and the Avengers are torn asunder. As I was watching Ant-Man transform into Giant-Man and bat War Machine out of the sky, it dawned on me that for the first time ever, I was watching a comic book come to life. These films have left the realism that started with Iron Man and moved into the camp and absurdity of Marvel comics. For this reason alone, I consider Captain America: Civil War to be among the best superhero movies ever made.
"Embrace of the Serpent"
Despite being thematically identical to Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, this film succeeds everywhere the DC film fails. It may be simply because audiences have had more time to become familiar with the characters— Marvel has had a long roll out, building across both film and television to tell a fully realized story, hinting at unrest among the rest of the world at the carnage wrought by this team. There are mentions of New York and Sokovia, as well the general distrust of “those people” in almost every Marvel studios project. DC simply hasn’t had that kind of presence and it shows in the way the film expects audiences to accept certain truths without earning them. Let’s be clear: DC has characters equal to Marvel in every way. The difference has been in overall planning. At this point, DC will always be playing catch up. That said, I can’t help but wonder how long Marvel can keep the quality high. The cast of characters far exceeds Game of Thrones, a show that struggles to fit dozens of stories into ten hours of show time. Marvel films are already at the two and half hour mark. They’ve mostly avoided the pitfalls of having too many protagonists in one film so far. At some point, however, it’s going to stop working. For now, though, the films continue to be the best in the genre. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 13
ARTS SCENE
From Soutshide Grocery Store to New Arts Center
Coming Back From The Dead “Ghsot The Musical” is more than just a pottery class The UTC Fine Arts center is treating audiences to a spectacular performance of one of the most acclaimed musical adaptations of a film in a decade. “Ghost The Musical” comes to the stage this weekend at the UTC Fine Arts Center. Based on the 1990 Oscar nominated film Ghost, audiences will remember the iconic scene where Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore craft a vase together at a potter’s wheel despite being separated by death. The play, like the movie, centers around two young lovers, Sam and Molly. Sam is tragically murdered during a mugging gone wrong, but even in death Sam is tethered to Molly, unable to break the love that binds them together. The two’s complete devotion to each other drives the plot of the play as Sam attempts to watch over the lover he has left
behind. This production has received critical acclamation around the world for its humor, suspense, and unparalleled stage illusions. With over a million tickets sold worldwide, Chattanoogans can attend this phenomenal show knowing that this is truly a world-class production. Boasting a professional cast and crew, this production is well worth the price of admission. Film buffs, theater lovers and entertainment seekers alike will surely find this performance to be more than gratifying. — Alex Ward
Ghost The Musical UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utc.edu/fine-arts-center
THU5.12
FRI5.13
SAT5.14
CIVIL WARRIOR
BADGE SALUTE
ANIMAL FUN
Union Bound: The Tour
Go Blue: A Salute To Police
Spirits in the Wild
The true story of Union soldier Joseph E. Hoover. 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 unionboundthetour.com
Featuring live music from Dr. B. and the Ease. 11:30 a.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. rivercitycompany.com
14 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Come show your support for our hometown zoo. 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattazoo.org
The new Swine Gallery adds to the ever-growing Southside arts scene
E
FFECTIVE ART SPACES ARE VERSATILE PLACES THAT can encourage transformation—both physical and conceptual— and with a flick of a finger. Artist Matthew Dutton has turned a closed Southside wine shop into the new art gallery Swine by fingerpainting an “S” in front of a decal that advertised “WINE.”
Arts ERNIE PAIK
“
The idea is to provide a local platform for creatives, emerging and established artists and other cultural and creative misfits to make their ideas happen in the public sphere.”
Swine resides inside the soon-tobe-open Cine-Rama art-house movie theater—the brainchild of Chattanooga Film Festival founder Chris Dortch—which is located in the building formerly occupied by The Grocery Bar (and Enzo’s Market before that) on East Main Street. Along with Dutton, artists Aaron Cowan and Adam Kirby are the three main forces behind Swine, acting as curators, preparators and other assorted roles that are necessary to run and promote a gallery. “The transformative and immersive potential is what makes it so exciting to me,” said Cowan about the accommodating 34-by-34-foot space with a 23-foot ceiling. “Its functions are an amalgamation of an academic gallery, a contemporary project space and a small venue. Essentially, we have a small playground without the constraints and restrictions that are specific to other art spaces. “I envision Swine acting as a project space, and that is intentionally open for interpretation,” Cowan added. “I’d like it to function as more than a gallery or a venue space; we’ve been given an incredible opportunity and want to share that opportunity with Chattanooga. “We’ll host art shows, lectures, workshops, music concerts, performances,
poetry readings, theater, pop-up shops, one-night events, visual art installations, experiments and everything inbetween,” said Cowan. Beyond being a flexible space, ultimately Swine aspires to help strengthen the local arts community and have a positive influence throughout the region. “We will contribute to making Chattanooga an arts destination and cultural hub,” Cowan explains. “The idea is to provide a local platform for creatives, emerging and established artists and other cultural and creative misfits to make their ideas happen in the public sphere; broaden and diversify the arts scene; and through that, provide education and outreach from the arts to Chattanooga and the Southeast region. “Former art spaces like Tanner Hill, Graffiti Gallery/North Shore Gallery and the Easy Lemon were great projects that have left a vacuum that has yet to be filled,” he noted. “We plan on fulfilling those needs and more.” Cowan, a graduate of the University of Tennessee Chattanooga with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree, has worked as a preparator for UTC’s Cress Gallery of Art since 2011 under director Ruth Grover, and one of the founding members of the UTC Art Department’s Apothecary gallery. With his own work in sculpture, video and performance, Cowan explores themes and motifs including “play and danger, maturity and senescence.” Swine emerged as “a collaborative effort that came together through love and passion for the arts,” according to Cowan, who described his fellow artists
Mathhew Dutton's work at Swine
Dutton and Kirby as “movers and shakers.” Dutton exhibited at the Stephen Romano gallery in Brooklyn in March, presenting his fantastic, nightmarish mixed-media creations with bizarre half-human, half-creature faux taxidermy in a domestic setting, and locally, he has provided art production for Rock City as well as creating sculptural displays for the store Anthropologie. Kirby works in both sculpture and 2D art and is an apprentice of local ceramic artist Shadow May; among his most prominent work are his “Fired Clay” pieces, which are created by shooting blocks of clay with guns.
The schedule for Swine is populating at a swift pace, beginning with a soft opening on May 14 happening in conjunction with Cine-Rama, with the music/performance/poetry project Quichenight featuring the words of Daniel Pujol; the grand opening is scheduled for the end of May, with a salon-style art show. From June 19 to 21, Swine will present ArtMoves with artists in the reproductive justice movement, “to invite activists and artists into the space to discuss how making art can infuse with organizing,” according to Cowan. On June 24, the Orlando indie-pop band Sales will perform at Swine with
Chattanooga rock group Cautious Beverly, presented by Flashlight Shows’ sister company Light Light Productions, and on July 16, local artist Kevin Cooper will curate a group show spotlighting local work. “I’ve been half-jokingly saying, ‘If you can’t find anywhere else in town to do your project, come to us and we’ll help you figure something out,’” said Cowan. “That’s not to say there is no standard of quality, but we are focused on being an approachable, inclusive outlet for the creatives in Chattanooga in addition to broadening and diversifying the acclimated climate of art here.”
ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.
ChattanoogaHasCars.com THE TENNESSEE VALLEY’S MOST POWERFUL AUTOMOTIVE SHOPPING TOOL CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 15
ARTS CALENDAR
Southern Blooms Festival
THURSDAY5.12 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m. Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com New Horizons: North Ga Sky Painters Reception 5 p.m. Ringold Art and Frame Gallery 7825 Nashville St. (706) 935-2844 ringgoldartandframe.com POPS in the Park 5 p.m. Eastdale Recreation Center 1314 Moss Dr. (423) 697-1289 chattanooga.gov Another Gorgeous Evening 2016 5:30 p.m. Tennessee RiverPlace 3104 Scenic Waters Ln. (423) 266-0314 tennesseeriverplace.com Homebuyer Orientation 5:30 p.m.
16 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise 1500 Chestnut St., Ste. 102 (423) 756-6201 cneinc.org Paddle Smart Chattanooga 5:30 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 utdoorchattanooga.com Empower Chattanooga: Home Energy Workshop 6 p.m. Chattanooga Library Downtown Branch 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattlibrary.org City Sweat: Yoga for All 6 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700
PULSE PICK: LIL' DUVAL Lil' Duval was a semifinalist on BET’s comedy competition series Coming to the Stage as well as being a series regular on the MTV2 shows Guy Code and Hip Hop Squares. Lil' Duval The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
rivercitycompany.com Arts for Health 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Union Bound: The Tour 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 unionboundthetour.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs Pensacola Blue Wahoos 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Lil' Duval 7:30 The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St.
(423) 255-5000 thecomedycatch.com Micro Championship Wrestling 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Comedy Fight 10 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com
FRIDAY5.13 Southern Blooms Festival 8 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Shuddercon 10 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 shuddercon.com Go Blue: A Salute To Police 11:30 a.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. rivercitycompany.com Cambridge Square Night Market 5 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesquaretn.com WEAVE: a Conceptual
ARTS CALENDAR
Little Owl Festival Dance Company 7:30 p.m. WEAVE Studios 4413 Brainerd Rd. (423) 954-0115 weavedancecompany.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs Pensacola Blue Wahoos 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Ghost The Musical 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utc.edu/fine-arts-center Mambo In May 7:30 p.m. Brainard United Methodist Church 4315 Brainerd Rd. (706) 980-7025 chattanoogausadance.com Lil' Duval 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 thecomedycatch.com
SATURDAY5.14 Southern Blooms Festival 8 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Back To MAC Reunion Dog Walk
8 a.m. McKamey Animal Center 4500 North Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org St. Alban’s Hixson Market 8:30 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 saintalbans.dioet.org Shuddercon 10 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 shuddercon.com Make & Take Workshop: Hanging Baskets 10 a.m. The Barn Nursery 1801 E. 24th St. (423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com River Market Yoga 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 facebook.com/ BrainerdFarmersMarket Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0695 chattanoogarivermarket.com Northside Farmers Market
10 am. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 facebook.com/ StAlbansFarmersMarket Chattanooga Zine Fest 10 a.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattlibrary.org Spring Fling Cruise 10:30 a.m. Tennessee Aqaurium 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0695 tnaqua.org Etching Demonstration with Jay Pfeil 11 a.m. River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 River-gallery.com Little Owl Festival 11 a.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd (423) 892- 1499 chattanoogaadubon.org Young Artists Art Classes (ages 7-12) 11:30 a.m. The Arts Building 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Ghost The Musical 2, 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utc.edu/fine-arts-center
Collegedale Market 4 p.m. Collegedale Commons 950 Swinyar Dr. (423) 648-2496 collegedalemarket.com Spring Wine Dinner 6 p.m. Georgia Winery 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-2177 georgiawines.com Spirits in the Wild 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattazoo.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Lil' Duval 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 thecomedycatch.com Nature Nuts: Nocturnal Insects 8 p.m. Tennessee Aqaurium 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0695 tnaqua.org
SUNDAY5.15 Chattanooga Market 10 a.m. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 17
ARTS CALENDAR
Ready To Rock: Climbing at the Walnut Wall
First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Shuddercon 10 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 shuddercon.com Make & Take Workshop: Hanging Baskets 10 a.m. The Barn Nursery 1801 E. 24th St. (423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com Taste of Ooltewah and Harrison 12:30 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln., Suite 201 (423) 531-7754 facebook.com/ tasteofooltewahandharrison Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2 p.m. Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com/Events Ghost The Musical 2 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utc.edu/fine-arts-center Chattanooga Lookouts vs Biloxi Shuckers 2:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com
18 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Lil' Duval 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 255-5000 thecomedycatch.com Ready To Rock: Climbing at the Walnut Wall 8 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com
MONDAY5.16 Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist Church 3800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Community Education Forum 4 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Backlot 4-Oh!w 6:30 p.m. Heritage House Arts and Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 chattanooga.gov Chattanooga Lookouts vs Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com
TUESDAY5.17 Plein Air Painting Workshop 10 a.m. Signal Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com How to Photograph Sports 6:30 p.m. 6th Cavalry Museum 6 Barnhardt Cir., Fort Oglethorpe, GA (706) 861-2860 6thcavalrymuseum.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs Biloxi Shuckers 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Comedy Buffet With Barbara Gray 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com
WEDNESDAY5.18 Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center
5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs Biloxi Shuckers 11:15 a.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Main Street Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Collegedale Market 4 p.m. Collegedale Commons 950 Swinyar Dr. (423) 648-2496 collegedalemarket.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Chattanooga Library Downtown Branch 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattlibrary.org Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2 p.m. Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com/Events Open Mic Comedy and the Sturgil Simpson Afterparty 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com
DIVERSIONS FREE WILL ASTROLOGY TAURUS (April 20May 20): “Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Approximately 30,000 sites on the Internet attribute that quote to iconic genius Albert Einstein. But my research strongly sugthat he did ROB BREZSNY gests not actually say that. Who did? It doesn’t matter. For the purposes of this horoscope, there are just two essential points to concentrate on. First, for the foreseeable future, your supreme law of life should be “creativity is intelligence having fun.” Second, it’s not enough to cavort and play and improvise, and it’s not enough to be discerning and shrewd and observant. Be all those things. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Western culture, the peacock is a symbol of vanity. When we see the bird display its stunning array of iridescent feathers, we might think it’s lovely, but may also mutter, “What a show-off.” But other traditions have treated the peacock as a more purely positive emblem: an embodiment of hard-won and triumphant radiance. In Tibetan Buddhist myths, for example, its glorious plumage is said to be derived from its transmutation of the poisons it absorbs when it devours dangerous serpents. This version of the peacock is your power animal for now, Gemini. Take full advantage of your ability to convert noxious situations and fractious emotions into beautiful assets. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Clear moments are so short,” opines poet Adam Zagajewski. “There is much more darkness. More ocean than terra firma. More shadow than form.” Here’s what I have to say about that: Even if it does indeed describe the course of ordinary life for most people, it does not currently apply to you. On the contrary. You’re in a phase that will bring an unusually high percentage of lucidity. The light shining from your eyes and the thoughts coalescing in your brain will be extra pure and bright. In the world around you, there may be occasional patches of chaos and confusion, but your luminosity will guide you through them.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Smart Operator: My name is Captain Jonathan Orances. I presently serve in the United Nations Assistance Mission in Afghanistan. I am asking for your help with the safekeeping of a trunk containing funds in the amount of $7.9 million, which I secured during our team’s raid of a poppy farmer in Kandahar Province. The plan is to ship this box to Luxembourg, and from there a diplomat will deliver it to your designated location. When I return home on leave, I will take possession of the trunk. You will be rewarded handsomely for your assistance. If you can be trusted, send me your details. Best regards, Captain Jonathan Orances.” You may receive a tempting but risky offer like this in the near future, Leo. I suggest you turn it down. If you do, I bet a somewhat less interesting but far less risky offer will come your way. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Some things need to be fixed, others to be left broken,” writes poet James Richardson. The coming weeks will be an ideal time for you to make final decisions about which are which in your own life. Are there relationships and dreams and structures that are either too damaged to salvage or undeserving of your hard labor? Consider the possibility that you will abandon them for good. Are there relationships and dreams and structures that are cracked, but possible to repair and worthy of your diligent love? Make a plan to revive or reinvent them. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Once every year, it is healthy and wise to make an ultimate confession -- to express everything you regret and bemoan in one cathartic swoop, and then be free of its subliminal nagging for another year. The coming days will be a perfect time to do this. For inspiration, read an excerpt from Jeanann Vernee’s “Genetics of Regret”: “I’m sorry I lied. Sorry I drew the picture of the dead cat. I’m sorry about the stolen tampons and the nest of mice in the stove. I’m sorry about the slashed window screens. I’m sorry it took 36 years to say this. Sorry that all I can do is worry what happens next. Sorry for the weevils and the dead grass. Sorry I vomited in the wash drain. Sorry I left. Sorry I came back. I’m sorry it comes like this. Flood and undertow.”
Whether or not we believe in gods, we all worship something. What idea, person, thing, or emotion do you bow down to? FreeWillAstrology.com were only a few satisfying connubial relationships in late 18th-century England. One publication at that time declared that of the country’s 872,564 married couples, just nine were truly happy. I wonder if the percentage is higher for modern twosomes. Whether it is or not, I have good news: My reading of the astrological omens suggests that you Scorpios will have an unusually good chance of cultivating vibrant intimacy in the coming weeks. Take advantage of this grace period, please! SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Some days I feel like playing it smooth,” says a character in Raymond Chandler’s short story “Trouble Is My Business,” “and some days I feel like playing it like a waffle iron.” I suspect that you Sagittarians will be in the latter phase until at least May 24. It won’t be prime time for silky strategies and glossy gambits and velvety victories. You’ll be better able to take advantage of fate’s fabulous farces if you’re geared up for edgy lessons and checkered challenges and intricate motifs. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Author Rebecca Solnit says that when she pictures herself as she was at age 15, “I see flames shooting up, see myself falling off the edge of the world, and am amazed I survived not the outside world but the inside one.” Let that serve as an inspiration, Capricorn. Now is an excellent time for you to celebrate the heroic, messy, improbable victories of your past. You are ready and ripe to honor the crazy intelligence and dumb luck that guided you as you fought to over-
come seemingly insurmountable obstacles. You have a right and a duty to congratulate yourself for the suffering you have escaped and inner demons you have vanquished. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “To regain patience, learn to love the sour, the bitter, the salty, the clear.” The poet James Richardson wrote that wry advice, and now I’m passing it on to you. Why now? Because if you enhance your appreciation for the sour, the bitter, the salty, and the clear, you will not only regain patience, but also generate unexpected opportunities. You will tonify your mood, beautify your attitude, and deepen your gravitas. So I hope you will invite and welcome the lumpy and the dappled, my dear. I hope you’ll seek out the tangy, the smoldering, the soggy, the spunky, the chirpy, the gritty, and an array of other experiences you may have previously kept at a distance. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.” That’s from a Coleman Barks’ translation of a poem by the 13th-century Islamic scholar and mystic known as Rumi. I regard this epigram as a key theme for you during the next 12 months. You will be invited to shed a host of wishy-washy wishes so as to become strong and smart enough to go in quest of a very few burning, churning yearnings. Are you ready to sacrifice the mediocre in service to the sublime? ARIES (March 21-April 19): Russian writer Anton Chekhov was renowned for the crisp, succinct style of his short stories and plays. As he evolved, his pithiness grew. “I now have a mania for shortness,” he wrote. “Whatever I read—my own work, or other people’s—it all seems to me not short enough.” I propose that we make Chekhov your patron saint for a while. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are in a phase when your personal power feeds on terse efficiency. You thrive on being vigorously concise and deftly focused and cheerfully devoted to the crux of every matter. Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, mythsavvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.
You complete us.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to the British podcast series “No Such Thing as a Fish,” there
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CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 19
20 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
FOOD & DRINK MIXOLOGY
Popsicles Aren’t Just For Kids Anymore Adding alcohol to popsicles makes frozen treats perfect for adults “When I was a child I ate like a child; now that I’ve grown I’ve put away childish things, partaking instead in the culinary equivalent of a rite of passage.” Dictated strictly by the earth’s rotation, summer is still a month away, but bright warm weather and semesters drawing to a close are a universally understood symbol of the start of the season. In my house, the other sign summer was approaching was the freezer filling with an assortment of frozen delights: Rocket Pops, Fudgesicles, and the plastic ice pops for which everyone has a different name. When I was a child I ate like a child; now that I’ve grown I’ve put away childish things, partaking instead in the culinary equivalent of a rite of passage. Imagine my joy when I learned my nostalgia could be combined with the same spirits signifying adulthood. That’s right; alcoholic popsicles exist and, with some time, patience, and a popsicle mould, can be made at home. Several food blogs boast recipes for frozen versions of familiar cocktails, including mojitos, gin and tonics, and White Russians, while others are mature versions of childhood classics, like the red wine fudge pops found on A Beautiful Mess or Host the Toast’s orange creamsicles with Blue Moon Belgian White.
But don’t pour straight vodka into your moulds just yet. Because of alcohol’s low freezing point, alcoholic popsicles will need more time to solidify. Freezing times may vary from two to four to even eight hours, depending on your alcohol of choice. Some recipes even suggest letting them freeze overnight. Something else to give some thought: your ratios within the recipe. Adding too much alcohol will leave you with nothing but a puddle of punch and a popsicle-mould-shaped shot glass. The best recipes will mix the alcohol with other liquids, like milk, frozen orange juice, or just water. So you might not get the same buzz you would expect from a cocktail, the alcohol is really only there to add flavor. While a popsicle with the same alcohol content as your favorite cocktail is technically possible, it requires extra effort, as well as an unexpected ingredient: gelatin. Gelatin bonds the liquids together so that freezing is a) possible and b) done in less than an eternity. The Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas shared their recipes for boozy pops, balancing the ratios between alcohol, simple syrup,
water, modifiers and juice (1:1:1:1:5) to make a punch recipe that’s slightly sweeter than normal. After that, Las Vegas mixologists will dissolve the gelatin in a pan, add ½ of punch to the gelatin pan and wait for it to dissolve into the punch, then add that mixture to the rest of the punch, and finally, freeze them, which may still take a couple hours. If you want to go to that much trouble for a summer buzz, then more power to you, I’m glad you have that kind of free time. Me, I’m impatient. The 8ish-hour wait is more than enough for me. Speaking of impatient, spiked ice pops will melt faster than your average frozen treat, so eat fast. Red Wine Fudgesicles (recipe courtesy of A Beautiful Mess) • 1 cup red wine • 1 ½ cup dark chocolate • 1 ½ cup milk In a small pot simmer the wine over low/medium heat for 12-18 minutes, allowing it to reduce. Remove from heat and whisk in the chocolate until completely melted. Stir in the milk. Pour into your popsicle tray and freeze over
night. Makes 4-6 popsicles depending upon your tray size. Blue Moon Orange Creamsicles (recipe courtesy of Host the Toast) • 1 cup frozen 100% orange concentrate, thawed • 14 oz sweetened condensed milk (1 can) • 24 oz Blue Moon Belgian White Ale or other Witbier (2 averagesized bottles) • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract • 3 clementines or tangerines You will also need: • 12 (3 oz) Dixie cups • Small popsicle sticks or craft spoons • A pitcher or large cocktail shaker In a pitcher or large cocktail shaker, combine the orange concentrate, sweetened condensed milk, beer, and vanilla extract. It is important to combine the ingredients in a container that has a spout because it will make it much easier to pour the mix into cups. Line out the Dixie cups on a baking sheet, so it will be easy to transport them to the freezer. Fill each Dixie cup 90 percent of the way with the orangebeer mixture. Slice the clementines into ¼ inch thick rounds. Push a craft spoon through the center of each clementine round, so that half of the stick pokes out from each side. Top the mixture with the clementine sticks. Make sure the clementine is resting directly on top of the orange-beer mixture. Freeze for at least four hours, or overnight. When ready to remove the popsicles from the Dixie cups, simply snip a small cut in the rim of each cup and peel them away from the popsicle. Place the popsicles onto a dish with crushed ice to keep them from melting too quickly. Serve and enjoy. — Hillary Eames
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 21
MUSIC SCENE
The Unstoppable Jamal Traub Jamal Traub gets exquisite with his latest release, Peripheral Love
What DREAMERS Are Made Of High-energy modern rockets visit JJ’s Bohemia this Friday Their aesthetic is calm, collected and cosmic; their music is touched by an angel from the ‘80s; their website looks like a Lisa Frank binder. They are DREAMERS, and if you haven’t heard of them, you will very soon. DREAMERS is made of guitarist and vocalist Nick Wold, backup vocalist and bassist Nelson, and drummer and backup vocalist Chris Bagamery. When asked how the band came together, Nick told The Examiner, “We all awoke on a giant spinning ball in a seemingly endless black void with no explanation of the scenario... more specifically, Chris and I grew up together in a place called Seattle.” The two were already in a band together when Nelson was added and DREAMERS was born. In November of 2014 they self-released their first EP, which garnered them instant attention from, among many others, Alternative Press, Spin, and Bill-
board, with their song “Wolves (You Got Me)” seeing full rotation on SiriusXM’s AltNation. Their second EP, You Are Here, was released this past February, pairing the single with four new tracks. The band has shared the stage with Walk the Moon, The 1975, Bear Hands, and the Vaccines, to name only a few. Listeners might recognize similarities, but DREAMERS manages to have a sound uniquely their own by brining a nearly unmatched passion to their music, immediately heard in such tracks as the foot-stomping, punk-like energy of “Wolves” or the mystic bass-thumping anthem “DRUGS.” — Hillary Eames DREAMERS Friday, 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
THU5.12
FRI5.13
SAT5.14
CELEBRATION
ELECTRO-POP
THE SONGSTRESS
Exit 10
Summer Dregs
Jennifer Daniels
Celebrate Yom Ha’atzmaut with these Israeli rockers. 6 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace jewishchattanooga.com
A light show Chattanooga has never seen before. 8 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com
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One of our all-time favorites comes back home. 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org
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HE UNSTOPPABLE JAMAL TRAUB RELEASED HIS latest album this week. I’ve listened to it half a dozen times so far and at this point there are two things I can say with certainty. First, it is an exquisite work. Second, it may be the most difficult album I’ve written about to date. In order to explain why, I must first veer wildly off-topic with a personal anecdote (as is my habit.)
Music MARC T. MICHAEL
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The album overall manages to be rife with commentary and thematic cohesion without ever being too obvious or heavy-handed. To the contrary, the music is rather playful.”
Years ago when I first started taking the game of pool seriously, I found myself a mentor. My mentor was so good I did not appreciate her skill at first. Of course she always won. Her shots were always short, and perfectly aligned. Why, anyone could win all the time with that kind of luck! I’m sure we all realize that it wasn’t luck, though, it was a level of mastery that enabled her to consistently make her current shot and then put the cue ball precisely where it needed to be to make the next one (or two, or three, actually.) It’s one thing to know that’s how the game is played; it is quite another to see it done so well. The best make it look easy. That describes my pool mentor and that describes Jamal Traub’s approach to this new album. At first listen, the tunes seem simple. By some metrics, they are simple. It certainly isn’t fusion jazz or the kind of prog rock that takes six fingers per hand and a whole extra arm to play properly. At first listen, the tunes seem simple, but they aren’t. What they really are is the perfect distillation of larger themes and bigger music in to the most basic components that still maintain the integrity of the expression. Put another way, it seems to me that Traub has mastered a kind of economy of music without sacrificing depth.
Here’s a riddle for you: What do Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, Paul Simon and the Beatles all have in common? I don’t know, but whatever it is, Traub has it in abundance. The opening track, “Anticipation,” is an instrumental tune that begins with a babbling brook and some frogs and winds up in a funky, countrified jam worthy of Jerry Garcia. Song two, “Corner of Your Eye,” opens with Traub’s acoustic work. After a few measures he sings and if his guitar playing is as distinctive as a thumb print (it is), then his voice is equally so though it must be said that
his style is at times very reminiscent of Paul Simon from the seventies. Likewise, some of the production technique and effects in this tune give it a Pink Floyd sound; “If ” from Atom Heart Mother comes to mind. Track three, “The Fall,” highlights Traub’s skill as a lyricist. Again, there is a deceptive simplicity at play that uses humor and straightforward talk to mask deeper points (local group Sparky the Band has similar chops.) Indeed, the winner of a slug race isn’t so much the first across the line as it is the last to get eaten. Depending on your philosophical and economic
outlook, the same might be said for the rat race. The album overall manages to be rife with commentary and thematic cohesion without ever being too obvious or heavy-handed. To the contrary, the music is rather playful, though never silly and it is this playfulness that invokes the Beatles, or at least a specific era of the Beatles. I do not know how long this album took to conceive or produce it was clearly a very thoughtful, painstaking process. The songs may appear to be deceptively simple, but the process by which they were created most cer-
tainly was not. Kudos to producer Ross Carlson who, except for a few special guest artists including our own Ernie Paik on violin, played every other instrument on the album including bass, drums, electric guitar and keys. The guy has mad skills and there is an obvious chemistry between the producer and the artist that they both ought to capitalize on in future projects. For the moment, the only way to get your own copy of this utterly fascinating work is to buy one at their live shows, though it is scheduled to be available online later this year.
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 23
MUSIC CALENDAR
Ghost
THURSDAY5.12 Annual Yom Ha’atzmaut Celebration with Exit 10 6 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace jewishchattanooga.com James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestarant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz ‘n Friends 6 p.m. Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Union Bound 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 Ghost, Pinkish Black 8 p.m. Track29 1400 Market St. track29.co Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office @ City Café 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com/the-office
FRIDAY5.13 Maybe April 5:30 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. cambridgesquaretn.com
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Richard Lloyd, Preston Parris Band 7 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com The Long Haul 7 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. cambridgesquaretn.com Summer Dregs & Napolean’s World 8 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Somethin’ Else feat. Jeff Daniel 8 p.m. Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. (423) 624-0034 Sound Advice
PULSE PICK: JAMES LEE STANLEY
Stanley has put out 60 albums since 1973, was the singing Klingon of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and has done two man shows and albums with Peter Tork. James Lee Stanley Saturday, 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle's Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960
8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com DREAMERS 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Dave Matthews Cover Band 9 p.m. Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co Jason Johnson 9 p.m. World of Beer 412 Market St. worldofbeer.com Rob Harris 9 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery & Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com
The Sullivan Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Stereotype 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrill.com
SATURDAY5.14 The Scarlett Love Conspiracy 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com John Lathim and Michelle Young 4:30 p.m. Collegedale Commons 4950 Swinyar Dr. collegedale.foundation Peter Moon Band 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. chattzoo.org Jennifer Daniels 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org James Lee Stanley 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle's Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960 Sound Advice 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St.
MUSIC CALENDAR
Behold The Brave chattanooganhotel.com Behold the Brave, Chrome Pony 9 p.m. The Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co One Timers, The Belt, Thee Finks, Bryan Hensley 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Cothern Miracle Duo 9 p.m. World of Beer 412 Market St. worldofbeer.com The Road Runners 9 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery & Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com The Sullivan Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Stereotype 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrill.com
SUNDAY5.15 8th Annual Southern Blooms Festival with Ellen Shiraef 10 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Megan Saunders
11 a.m. Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Caney Creek Company 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Arlo Gilliam, Nathan Farrow, Robby Hopkins, Channing Wilson 1 p.m. Lake Winnepesuakah 1730 Lakeview Dr. lakewinnie.com Bobby Burns & Gordy Nichol 1:30 p.m. Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Travis Bowlin 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Mid-South Symphonic Band 25th Anniversary Concert 3 p.m. Ringgold High School Performing Arts Center 28 Tiger Trail rhs.catoosa.k12.ga.us Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. longhaulsaloon.com Diane Coffee 8 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Sound Advice
8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com
MONDAY5.16 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m. Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic Night with Mike McDade 7 p.m. The Feed Co. Table and Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 847-7934 Cracker 8 p.m. The Revelry Room 41 E. 14th St. revelryroom.co
TUESDAY5.17 Open Mic Night with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixon Pike tremonttavern.com
WEDNESDAY5.18 Courtney Reid Noon Miller Plaza 850 Market St. millerplazachattanooga.com Courtney Holder 4:30 p.m. Collegedale Commons 9453 Bradmore Ln. cambridgesquaretn.com No Big Deal 6 p.m. Springhill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy (423) 834-9300 Booker Scruggs Ensemble 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Shinedown 8:30 p.m. Track29 1400 Market Street track29.co Sturgill Simpson 8:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com R.A. and The Flames 9 p.m. The Office @ City Café 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com/the-office Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 25
RECORD REVIEWS PATRICK FILBIN
Tomcat Hughes Gets the Bullfrog Blues, Side Affect Looks for Love
Hughes rocks it out ‘70s style, Side Affect wants us all dreaming
Tomcat Hughes Hot Damn…Boogie Woogie (tomcat2.bandcamp.com)
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omcat Hughes is one hell of a guitar player. He writes loud, fun, raucous and energetic songs. He’s bringing it all back from the ‘70s: the loud, crunchy guitars, the simple delight or a crash cymbal rhythm on the drum set, head banging along to some nut on the steel guitar all while having a great time doing it all and putting it down for people to pick up and get down to. Hughes is a member of Pole-
brewer media
Side Affect LOVINGYOU (sideaffect.bandcamp.com)
cat Boogie Revival, Lookout MTN Daredevils, Hellstomper and a few others, so you can tell from the get-go that him and his bandmates are just letting it fly on Hot Damn…Boogie Woogie, a seven-track EP that is as delightful as it is hard rocking. What a listener will first notice about Hot Damn is the guitar playing. It changes tones, pace and expression from song to song, sometimes verse to
verse. It’s exceptional and raw. The roots are steeped in blues, harking back to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tom Waits and early influences such as the White Stripes and The Black Keys. But make no mistake, Hughes and Co. are not trying to do too much or recreate the wheel. They’re in a room and they’re jamming out. In one of the albums many highlights, “Black Cat Moan,” he howls “Sunshine coming over the hills and through my window pain, might as well be pain. Got the black cat moans.” It’s best not to read too much into this because no one knows what the hell he means, but he sure means it. It’d be easy for me to pick out standouts because there are seven of them from top to bottom. Hughes goes after everything in “Bound to Come Down,” slows it down to a crooning, acoustic slur in “You Got the Silver,” and asks the important question, “Did you ever
wake up with them bullfrogs on yo’ mind?” on “Bullfrog Blues.” Ever have the Bullfrog Blues? Me either. Until now.
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here’s a lot to say about the electronic craze that has taken over the self-producing music scene. It’s the culture, the power of the internet, the autonomy that comes with technology these days that is at our fingertips. Anyone can be a producer/songwriter/musician when sitting in front of the right tools. But not everyone can master those same set of tools the way Side Affect can. Side Affect is a pop dream experimental-rock group (lead by Chris Johnson) from Chattanooga that relies heavily on live instrumentation recorded and played through today’s mechanics and machines. Using old-school songwriting techniques as well as new-school rules, Side Affect toes the line with innovation and folk. In tracks like “STAY” and
Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits
everywhere. every day.
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“NIGHTLIFE,” the lead singer sings of disappointment and continuation, pleading for a lover’s hand, her understanding of a lost love in difficult times, and his inhibition to stick around. What is impressive in most of these songs is the dilutive characteristics of the music. The vibrant rhythm of each verse changes between song and even verse, making the album complex and indifferent to itself. Because listening to a lot of these “types” of albums, some can get stuck in the mud of “electronic, indie and/or alternative,” but this one undoubtedly stands on its own because of the genuine mix of playing vs. computer. There’s an earnest vibe to every track, no matter how similar or different the content seems to inhabit. Another standout is “BROADWAY,” a dreamy and mystical tune about a trip down Broadway Ave. in Manhattan, full of dreams, expectations, and crushed realities that is built on a driving groove and doesn’t land on a happy ending. And that’s not what Side Affect seems to find important. These are somber, misanthropic songs about missed love, lost dreams and full, optimistic expectations. It’s dream pop, after all. Let us all dream together.
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27
Diversions
Consider This with Dr. Rick by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.
“Get outta here, go on, git!” —from Greater Tuna I’m a big fan of getting out of town. Nothing personal, Scenic City, but when vacation time rolls around, a commitment I’ve made to myself is to get out! The way I see it, if you stay home you’ll just end up cleaning the gutters. Getting away allows you to escape the daily grind, exhale away the usual stressors of life, re-discover your balance, re-charge your batteries. Perhaps there are some far-flung friends you haven’t seen in a while. Are you overdue for some couch-surfing? Maybe the mountains are your thing. Breathing in the cool, fresh air as a panacea for endless, humid summers. Or perhaps you find your bliss, and your most centered self, at the beach. Pack up the car, head to the coast and get some sand in your shorts. More than the things we do, we regret the things we don’t do. Life’s short. 28 • THE PULSE • MAY 12, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Jonesin’ Crossword
MATT JONES
“Stick With Me, Kid”—and adhere to the rules. ACROSS 1 Vehicle with a lane 5 Took in using a cartridge 10 Physical beginning? 14 Having the skills 15 ___ loaf 16 Nest egg funds 17 Big scallion 18 Parts of parts? 19 Bit of a guitar solo 20 Party drink for a woodpecker? 23 Abbr. on an invoice 24 Turndown for Watt? 25 Metal container? 26 It’s a sign 28 High-altitude monster 30 Boutsanctioning org. 33 King Atahualpa, for one 35 Rocky’s opponent in “Rocky IV” 37 Chocolate substitute (or
so they say...) 39 Result of a giant cheddar spill at the airport? 42 “Foundation” author Asimov 43 Candy bar made with toffee 44 Beat quickly, like the heart 45 Got ready for the movie 46 Big songs 48 “Return of the Jedi” fuzzball 50 Be the author of 51 Photogenic finish? 52 Cuban sandwich ingredient 55 Leader of the ship Jolly Literacy? 60 Make a street 61 Beyond the fringe 62 Shape of some mirrors 63 Thingy 64 Knight’s protection 65 Bid-closing word 66 Hamiltons 67 Consigns
to failure 68 High cards DOWN 1 Kon-Tiki raft material 2 High-rise support 3 Corrupt ruler of sorts 4 Frightened outbursts 5 Like some ash 6 Almost identical 7 Cone-bearing tree 8 Constantly 9 Iron-fisted ruler 10 “The House at Pooh Corner” author 11 Actor Stonestreet of “Modern Family” 12 Dashboard dial, for short 13 Find out (about) 21 One at the Louvre 22 “Spenser: For Hire” star Robert 27 Vicki Lawrence sitcom role 28 Americans, to Brits 29 Prefix for morph or skeleton 30 Do some
major damage 31 Anjou relative 32 “... butterfly, sting like ___” 33 “And that’s the way ___” 34 Mars Pathfinder launcher 36 Oceanic 38 Prefix before space 40 Had pains 41 Ivies, particularly 47 Bit of progress 49 “Fists of Fury” director Lo ___ 50 Limericks and such 51 AOL giveaway of the past 53 “___ of Two Cities” 54 Canasta combinations 55 Fence feature 56 It’s so hot 57 Legal tender since 1999 58 Sphere intro 59 Civil rights figure Parks 60 Peach part
Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0779 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 12, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29
COLUMN SUSHI & BISCUITS
Finding The Heart of the Cobra in Vietnam Sometimes the exotic food of Southeast Asia isn’t really worth the trip Hear what little Red-Eye saith: “Nag, come up and dance with death!” — Rudyard Kipling, “Rikki-Tikki-Tavi”
MIKE MCJUNKIN
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If you are wondering what this emerald-green elixir tastes like, imagine throwing up a little grain alcohol back into your mouth, then swallowing it again.”
Photo by Mike McJunkin Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan currently living abroad who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits
As we sped down Cầu Chương Dương highway just outside Hanoi, Vietnam, I stared blankly out the taxi window and thought about Nag and Nagina, the cobra villains in Kipling’s short story “RikkiTikki-Tavi”. I’ve read the story dozens of times, and always felt a tug of empathy towards the cobras when their home was invaded and they, along with their unborn children, were killed while trying to protect it. Our taxi driver, Thao, was more engrossed in entertaining the travelers from Tennessee with an off-key sing-along to “Hotel California” than he was in navigating the narrow roads of Lệ Mật, (or “Snake Village” as it’s known by Westerners). He certainly wasn’t thinking about the ethical implications of a 19th century short story, he was just taking this crazy American couple to a snake restaurant to eat cobra. The moment we entered the restaurant, “Nhà Hàng Hương Quê-Lệ Mật”, a young man with a large hook immediately began to pull a variety of angry, hissing cobras from a wall of crude enclosures. Our task was to choose one, much like you would pick out a lobster in a seafood restaurant— if lobsters reminded you of a character from one of your most beloved childhood books. Slice. Bleed. Drip. Cut. Within seconds of choosing a snake, the eldest of the men unceremoniously sliced open the cobra’s belly, drained about a half-cup of its blood into a glass, cut the still-beating heart loose from its connecting arteries, and delicately removed the unbroken bile sac. Our host quickly handed me the small, white saucer with the heart, still pulsing in a labored struggle to hold onto life. Channeling my best Explorers Club gameface, I slid the heart down my throat like a fleshy, throbbing land oyster, consciously choosing not to dwell on the feeling of what may have been its final pulses fading on my tongue.
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“Thực hiện việc này. Uống!” he said, handing me a shot glass filled to the rim with the still warm cobra’s blood. I downed the shot quickly, in a successful bid to outrun my uncertainties and reservations. The blood was still warm, clean and meaty tasting, not mineral-y or iron-y like I would have expected. The bile sac was then cut open and drained into a few ounces of rice whiskey that had just been poured from an unmarked bottle it shared with a coiled tree snake. If you are wondering what this emerald-green elixir tastes like, imagine throwing up a little grain alcohol back into your mouth, then swallowing it again. It’s the acrid, bitter taste of harsh realities. As the whiskey warmed my belly I tried to process what had just happened, but could only sit silently, munching on fresh cucumber slices to provide my senses with something...anything familiar. Then the dishes made from our chosen Elapidae began to arrive. Stir fried vegetables with cobra meat that had the texture and flavor of bland, overcooked squid; ground cobra spring rolls fried in snake fat; fried betal leaf pouches filled with a mixture of cobra liver and meat that tasted like wet pennies wrapped in crunchy nothingness. This
was not going well. I briefly perked up when I saw something that looked familiar: fried cobra skin. It looked like fresh chicharrónes (pork rinds), but instead of crispy goodness, these had the flavor of a dirty snake cage. They were almost as disappointing as the dish that I thought was minced meat with herbs but turned out to be crushed cobra bones with herbs. Yes, crushed bones! It was obvious at this point that our cobra meal wasn’t going to make my top-ten Vietnam food moments, so I just focused on the few dishes that didn’t taste like the lunch buffet at the Star Wars cantina. There was more food, eight dishes in total, every one included some part of our dearly departed cobra. None of it was great. None of it was disgusting, although it’s pretty hard to find positive things to say about the fried snake skin and cobra liver wraps. We ate as much as we could manage and exited the restaurant with the politest Southern smiles we could muster. Thao was waiting with his taxi, smiling and holding a to-go bag of his own. As we rode back to Hanoi in complete silence my mind wandered back to Nag and Nagina. I was right all along; we should have just left them alone.
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